In a Moment, Nathan/Peter, Maybe everyone knows
A bit daunting being the first, I guess I was inspired. :)
Maybe everyone knows.
That is what he fears when he sees him and can’t look away, when he touches him and refuses to let go. How can they not know? How can everyone be oblivious of his love for Nathan, his deeply unbrotherly desire and need and oh god they must be able to see it. To see it because he can not stop the grin that lights up his face when Nathan is around, he can not be satisfied until he is touching Nathan, dragging him through deserted hallways (he hopes) into empty bathrooms, drinking him in until he can only but gasp. Air is tight and breathing is difficult but everything is simply wonderful and maybe everyone knows, but in moments such as this… When the hard tiles are pressing harshly against Peter’s back and his legs are cramped and Nathan is right there. Right there, more close than it seems possible, skin on skin and heat and need and yes.
It is wrong he knows. He knows it when he lays awake, alone and restless. He knows it when a strange man in a suit across the subway makes his heart beat faster. He knows it when he looks at Heidi’s warm smile. But all it takes is a moment with Nathan alone, to see the reflected need and to feel the mirrored hardness and to taste his brother’s skin. A whole night alone or a stolen touch, it doesn’t matter.
Maybe everyone knows, but in a single moment it doesn’t matter.
Maybe everyone knows.
That is what he fears when he sees him and can’t look away, when he touches him and refuses to let go. How can they not know? How can everyone be oblivious of his love for Nathan, his deeply unbrotherly desire and need and oh god they must be able to see it. To see it because he can not stop the grin that lights up his face when Nathan is around, he can not be satisfied until he is touching Nathan, dragging him through deserted hallways (he hopes) into empty bathrooms, drinking him in until he can only but gasp. Air is tight and breathing is difficult but everything is simply wonderful and maybe everyone knows, but in moments such as this… When the hard tiles are pressing harshly against Peter’s back and his legs are cramped and Nathan is right there. Right there, more close than it seems possible, skin on skin and heat and need and yes.
It is wrong he knows. He knows it when he lays awake, alone and restless. He knows it when a strange man in a suit across the subway makes his heart beat faster. He knows it when he looks at Heidi’s warm smile. But all it takes is a moment with Nathan alone, to see the reflected need and to feel the mirrored hardness and to taste his brother’s skin. A whole night alone or a stolen touch, it doesn’t matter.
Maybe everyone knows, but in a single moment it doesn’t matter.