163: Hindsight is 20/20
There are some people you just know you shouldn't trust. When you find them, they give out that warning that no good will come out of this. Everything nearly flashes for you to get away, to stay away and not let them in your life.
They're also the people that you can't stay away from, because of some reason. What tells you to go away draws you in until you don't know which way is up. Suzie Costello was one of those people. Of course I had to be around her, I worked with her.
Why he hired her in the first place is not my business, I can only talk about my own experience with her. And it's funny, I never even actively disliked her.
Even when she started to sleep with Owen. Everyone it seemed slept with Owen. Every girl anyways. Except me. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
I still didn't find anything wrong really, just as I still tolerated Gwen, even if I should have hated her. Maybe hate just isn't in my nature. My mother would call me just a glutton for punishment. She never took it as far as to call me a masochist, but it's come close a couple of times.
Didn't we all see Suzie's spiral downwards? Every time she started to use the glove. The secrets she started to keep, because she knew what was going to happen to her.
How did we not see all of that?
Even if I had, I'm not sure I would have said anything. That's me, always sticking my head in the sand. I was scared of what she could do to me, what she would do to me if she had known I knew.
I'm almost ashamed to admit any scenario I can think of, involves me going to someone else and telling them what was going on. Not handling it myself. What could I do to stop her but get someone else to?
I wish something like this would've made me stronger. Able to stand up for myself and take some responsibility. Will I ever get to be like that? I sincerely hope so, if not for myself but for everyone around me who counts on me to do the right thing.
You always look back on things and wish you'd done something differently. It doesn't mean you regret the things that happened, I try not to have any regrets. I don't regret what happened to Suzie, I think it ended really the only way it could have.
I just wish it didn't have to happen in the first place
Muse: Toshiko Sato
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Word Count: 445
They're also the people that you can't stay away from, because of some reason. What tells you to go away draws you in until you don't know which way is up. Suzie Costello was one of those people. Of course I had to be around her, I worked with her.
Why he hired her in the first place is not my business, I can only talk about my own experience with her. And it's funny, I never even actively disliked her.
Even when she started to sleep with Owen. Everyone it seemed slept with Owen. Every girl anyways. Except me. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
I still didn't find anything wrong really, just as I still tolerated Gwen, even if I should have hated her. Maybe hate just isn't in my nature. My mother would call me just a glutton for punishment. She never took it as far as to call me a masochist, but it's come close a couple of times.
Didn't we all see Suzie's spiral downwards? Every time she started to use the glove. The secrets she started to keep, because she knew what was going to happen to her.
How did we not see all of that?
Even if I had, I'm not sure I would have said anything. That's me, always sticking my head in the sand. I was scared of what she could do to me, what she would do to me if she had known I knew.
I'm almost ashamed to admit any scenario I can think of, involves me going to someone else and telling them what was going on. Not handling it myself. What could I do to stop her but get someone else to?
I wish something like this would've made me stronger. Able to stand up for myself and take some responsibility. Will I ever get to be like that? I sincerely hope so, if not for myself but for everyone around me who counts on me to do the right thing.
You always look back on things and wish you'd done something differently. It doesn't mean you regret the things that happened, I try not to have any regrets. I don't regret what happened to Suzie, I think it ended really the only way it could have.
I just wish it didn't have to happen in the first place
Muse: Toshiko Sato
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Word Count: 445