DEUX | NONE OF THESE RELATE WHATSOEVER s-sob

[juvante]

[ Good evening, folks. Today, you get three not so lovely options as Monaco does her best to adapt to Mayfield.

Un: After thoroughly complaining about the bland clothing here, Monaco can be seen on the porch with a sewing kit, ripping off the extra length to a poofy skirt while altering her blouse. A few needles may or may not whizz right by your

Comments

[ominousjoy]

((forgive me for misssiinng the intro post sob /busybusybusy.

A-also what even, he doesn't see it, but he feels something metal strike his face. He winces, but it's not there, so... a bee?

Whatever, coming in the gate now, and lifting a hand for hello.)) Hej.

[juvante]

[YOU SHOULD BE but in all seriousness, don't worry about it!

Don't mind her, she's just in the process of randomly throwing fabric around and onto the neighbor's lawn.

...Oops. She's headed down the steps when she immediately freezes, a small amount of color draining from her face. Mon dieu, she still insists that he is going to be angryangryangry that his wife has a....wife.]

A-ah....[Insert an incredibly awkward pause here, followed by soft laughter that's even more awkward.] Bonjour.

[ominousjoy]

...N't used t' sewin'?

[juvante]

Not with these particular...pieces. I seem to have forgotten how pesky American clothing can be.

[thatsnotaknife]

[Sighs as he watches her dump the fish in the lake. Awkward.] You alright there, Monica?

[juvante]

Oh! [All your tuna are belong to us. She visibly startles at the unexpected voice, flopping in one of the fish a little too harshly. That voice is easy to distinguish, and she glances over at him sheepishly.] Yes, fine! Just couldn't bear to see them becoming someone's next mea---a-ah, nevermind. [....Yeah. Awkward indeed.]

[thatsnotaknife]

That's ripper and all, love- [seriously, it is. He honestly does want to help the conservation effort and all that, honest he does.] but are ya sure they'll be okay in a tiny lake like this?

[juvante]

Well, I wouldn't want anyone to have to deal with a pool full of fish. [Looking over at the size of the lake, she can't help but frown. Oh, look, idea lightbulb.] It was the closest body of chemical-free water I could find. I don't suppose there's an ocean nearby?

[fuelefficient]

[staring at your bluefin tuna SO HARD]

[juvante]

[TOTALLY NOT NARROWING HER EYES IN SUSPICION not at all] ...Bonjour, Japan.

[fuelefficient]

Greetings. You wouldn't happen to be...selling those, would you?

[juvante]

[What. OH THE HORROR, sputtering everywhere.] I was releasing them into the nearest body of water. I wouldn't want anyone to snack on an endangered species? [Pause.] But, if you're looking to keep one as a pet...

[juvante]

[Where is everyone's sense of environmentalism. By now she's probably clinging to her bucket for dear life dear god Denmark have you always been this tall.] You can't eat these! [Brb calming down.] I'm sure there's plenty of fish in the other lakes.

[juvante]

[OF COURSE SHE'S NOTICED THAT BEFORE. Cough. She's too busy cowering in fear of being crushed under his foot to assume the worst of his condition.] But they're endangered. [She frowns, but seeing as how they're stuck in the 50s, she supposes that's awhile away. Sigh.] Fine. But don't hurt him too much, and you may want to get out of the sun. You don't look very well.

3

[synchronicsong]

[Ahhh but she just got back her pretty dress, sob.]

[juvante]

[....Oh. She blinks, overlooking the infuriation of her pie efforts going to waste before pulling a handkerchief from her blouse's pocket.] A-ah, I'm sorry.

[synchronicsong]

I-It's alright...I'm sorry I-I couldn't catch it

[juvante]

[She's still fretting over it, regardless.] Pie can easily be replaced. No need to apologize, miss! Er, would you like me to pay for your dress to be cleaned?