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[jw_marsters]

"I've given you all that I can, anything more and I'll have absolutely nothing for myself"I just don't understand. How can living together and sharing a life take everything away from you? I mean it's not like I'd want to be with her 24/7. We can get away from one another when needed and shit like that. I guess it's like every other time in my life

Comments

[acker_amy]

Sweetie, you're a friend, so I feel I can take the gloves off, and talk to you like an adult, without fear of hurting your feelings. I've read your entries lately, and all I can say is this:

Stop it. You're drowning yourself in self-pity, and wanting everyone to feel sorry for you, and you're doing nothing but going out of your way to try and hurt Alexis, and other friends. That's not the James I remember bonding with on the set.

[jw_marsters]

I'm not trying to hurt Alexis. I dislike Alexis yes, but I don't want to hurt him. I am friends with Liv, and I don't want to be without that friendship. I know I should just stay away from her, I know by hanging out with her I hurt people, not just Alexis. Maybe I should stay away.

I'm glad you're honest, I need that. I'm so lost, I feel like self-pity is all I have these days. Love's a bitch Amy and getting lost in it isn't healty. I got myself lost in a dream and in doing so lost myself. James will be back, I'm searching my heart and soul for him now.

Thank you love.

[acker_amy]

You worry me sometimes, James. Not that I don't think you can take care of yourself. I'm sure that you can. I just get concerned that you place too much worry in whether or not you're with somebody, instead of worrying about yourself.

I know that's easy for me to say; Alyson and I are doing fine. But you should be more concerned about you than about proving something by finding someone to be your lady.

[jw_marsters]

I worry about me too sometimes. I use to be okay with being alone. Then I met this girl who's everything I want and I fell hard. It's so hard to be okay when you love someone so damn much that you want to marry them. She doesn't want to get married, she doesn't want a family. I'm just left numb not knowing what to do. I think getting old is getting to me, I feel like I'm running out of time to start over. I know I have to snap out of that line of thinking.

I'm glad that you and Aly are doing so well :) You two are awesome together.

[juliebenz13]

Can I join you under your rock ? I'll bring my own booze.

[jw_marsters]

Baby you can crawl under a rock with me anytime. Bring some Jack okay?

[juliebenz13]

no problem. I have a drinking buddy now....yay.