Dear Diary~ [Page 43 - Yunho]
[Page 43 - Yunho] Fail!Yunnie! xD
Dear Diary,
Sooooooooo.
Heechul and Jaejoong are pretty tight now-a-days…
I mean, not that they weren’t always friends, I mean, they’re good friends and so is everyone else in our colossal group of friends, but I mean, when Yesung is around Jaejoong, he doesn’t smack him on the butt and tell him to “Stay sexy!” with a giant grin. You know what I mean?
What was up at the car wash the other day? Water fights? Seriously? Seriously. They were like those sexed up college girls in skimpy bikinis who play around in the water hose in the movies. Seriously? I mean…seriously?
Who’s idea was that? Changmin said it was Jaejoong’s but I’m willing to bet Heechul had some say in it. He’s too…interested in that kind of thing. Jaejoong wouldn’t think of something like that. Never. Seriously.
And today was the Dong Bang Fundraiser cook off and sooooooo…it didn’t get any better.
Sure, Leeteuk hyung was all nice and organized about how he arranged it so that people in the community could taste test our food and pay a donation to the dish they thought was the best. It raised a whole bunch of money for our apartment that doesn’t have to come out of my pocket, so, yeah. But I just think that Jaejoong and Heechul’s behavior will eventually scare away patrons.
Heechul is lazy. I mean, he didn’t even make a dish himself.
“I don’t cook unless Hankyung is willing to eat it off of me.”
Ugh. Seriously?
So, he volunteered to “partner up” with someone else. And he didn’t even partner with Hankyung. Beijing fried rice of Chinese heaven, my foot. Pssh. Can’t even stick to his own dietary promises.
No. He paired up with Jaejoong. Said Jaejoong would need some competitive help against whatever dish Ryeowook made.
Seriously? Help? Jaejoong? Cooking? Dish? Competitive? Need?
Jaejoong’s dumplings are AWESOME. AWWWWWWWESOME. A-FRICKING-SOME, that’s just how AWESOME his dumplings are. Why would my Jaejoong need any kind of help whatsoever in convincing people that his food is out of this world? Seriously.
But for whatever reason I’ll never understand, Jaejoong agreed and they became the JaeChul team. JaeChul? Seriously? Pssh. Lame. It doesn’t even sound right. JaeHo sounds better. Or maybe YunJae.
Why did Leeteuk-hyung let them do it? Ah, that’s right. Something like, “As long as we get money in for you guys,” and “Anything Heechul would have made by himself would run customers away.”
Blah. I still think it was a blatant infringement on the unwritten Dong Bang Fundraiser rules. Leeteuk thinks that’s stupid, but once I write out the rules, it won’t seem so stupid anymore.
Bam. Here it is:
1. No screwing around. Money is business. Business means NO WATER FIGHTS.
2. NO WATER FIGHTS
3. No dipping your finger in Kangin’s ramen noodle broth and sticking it Jaejoong’s mouth for “comic effect.”
4. “Comic effect” is not and never will be effective. It only disturbs potential donors, not encourage them. So don’t do it.
5. No feeding Jaejoong bits of his dumplings so potential donors can see how tasty it is. We all know how tasty and AWESOME his food is, so keep your hands to yourself.
6. Keep your hands to yourself.
7. No rubbing each other’s bellies.
8. No making Jaejoong laugh so hard, he almost chokes on the dumpling you illegal shoved down his throat.
9. No sitting on Jaejoong’s taste testing booth holding a sparkly sign that says, “Jae’s Jammin’ Dumplings!” Putting your butt so close to Jaejoong the food is unsightly.
10. No hugging when someone tries your food.
11. No standing too close to each other.
12. No smacking Jaejoong on the butt (again) and saying, “Stay sexy!”
13. No laughing so hard, you snort after someone tells you to, “Stay sexy!”
14. No touching Jaejoong’s hair. It’s perfect without the grimy, intruding hands of outsiders.
15. No sniffing each other. No, Jaejoong does not usually smell like dumplings. He smells like soap and honey. And who cares what Heechul smells like, just don’t do it.
16. No singing the Pokemon theme song in high pitched voices.
17. No telling people that Jaejoong’s dumplings are extra good because his slender, loving fingers created them with the power of his soul.
18. No using words related to “love” or “fingers” in the same sentence as Jaejoong.
19. No hugging when Leeteuk announces that Jaejoong’s dumplings received the most donations. (See rule #10. And maybe #11 for good measure.)
20. No biting Jaejoong on the neck. It’s rude. And you’re not a stupid vampire. Seriously?
Diary, you may think I’m bitter because Super Bang lost this challenge, but I am not. Seriously. JaeChul’s Jaejoong and Heechul’s behavior is going to lose us a lot of money if they keep scaring people away like that.
I’m sure their screwing around had something to do with Jaejoong’s win. I heard some conversations floating around. Most people said they only put money in Jaejoong’s jar because his dumplings were so hot and spicy, most confused it for a threat upon their lives and donated to keep the homicidal chef at bay.
It was the wasabi. And Heechul. I watched him make the dumplings while he talked to Heechul on the phone and he got so excited, he used too much wasabi.
WAY too much wasabi.
Why does he put wasabi in everything? Why didn’t I warn him? Maybe I was too angry to speak.
Because of the money those two are going to lose us. That’s right. Because of the money.
He’s amazing, though.
I saw him taste test his own dumplings after they were done and he seemed to think it was okay. After the cook off and everyone kept saying how lethal Jaejoong’s dumplings were, I tried it out myself.
My mouth is still bleeding.
He’s just amazing…
Like, when he cooks, he looks like a pro. Well, technically he is one in my mind. He just looks so focused and serious. It’s amazing.
Puh. And that’s why he ended up screwing up when he decided to answer his cell phone and chat with Heechul all night. All night? Really? Seriously. When he’s excited about something, he’s worse than Junsu when he’s on the phone with Junho.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah~”
“Really?”
“For real!”
What were they even talking about? Oh, that was Junsu’s conversation with Junho up above. Now here’s a sample of Jaejoong and Heechul’s phone conversation. Stupid Jaejoong had the volume turned all the way up so I could hear every annoying word.
“…And then he said that was, like, impossible.”
“Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.”
“And that hurt my feelings, you know?”
“Right, right.”
“What should I do?”
“Drink to it.”
“Sounds like a good idea. Join me?”
“You know it!”
Ugh. And sometimes it was like this:
“I’m holding my breath longer than you.”
“…”
“Really.”
“…”
“You are so gonna lose.”
“…”
“Get ready to pay up, cause I already won.”
“…”
“Mwahaha.”
“…”
Seriously? So dumb.
Jaejoong hanging out with Heechul is dimming his amazingness. Why are they like this all of a sudden? Kibum says it’s because Heechul really wants Jaejoong to feel better after everything that happened, but I don’t believe it. He wants something.
Jaejoong is happy. Very happy. Key keeps him occupied when they play hide and seek in the afternoons. Jaejoong is an excellent hider. I found him under the couch cushions once.
That’s right. Under the couch cushions. He was so well hidden, the only reason Key found him after hours of searching was because Yoochun was about to take another nap on the couch and nearly crushed him. I don’t even know how he hid himself like that. He’s just that amazing.
And another thing-
…
Sorry, Diary. Changmin keeps bugging me because he’s bored. He finally gets to stay in a place with a TV and now he doesn’t want it anymore? Kids these days. Can’t properly entertain themselves.
…
Ahh! Go play with Junsu or something. He needs something to do since he’s not allowed to be with Yoochun while we’re staying here. He’s probably bored too-
…
Ahhhh! Where did Junsu come from?? Now they’re both bugging me! Why does it have to be this way??
…
Okay, I’ve locked myself in the bathroom. Phew. Why does everyone take pride out of annoying me today? I’m already cranky-
…
…………
………………………….
There’s someone in here.
The water is on in the shower.
Oh, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. I hope it’s not Yoona. PLEASE don’t be Yoona. Oh, crap, how awkward. Crap, crap. Gotta stay quiet.
…
Whoever it is started singing.
…
It’s not Yoona.
……..
It’s Jaejoong.
Hah. I should be okay with this, right? I mean, who’s the one that used to barge in back in our own apartment when the rest of us were on the toilet and take pictures on his cell phone, right? Hah. Seriously.
Not weird at all. Not awkward at all. Just…why can’t I open the door and leave. Crap, I'm frozen.
Ah, he’ll hear the door shut and then he’ll freak out and stuff. He’ll think Taemin accidentally walked in on his manly, naked, wet…skin and stuff…and he’ll….freak out…
Maybe I’ll run the water in the sink to make it seem natural. Yeah. I’ll pretend I’m shaving.
…
He called my name. How did he know it was me?
…
Ah. Apparently he knows that I always turn the sink on full blast when I’m about to shave. Hmmm. I do? Mission: Make it look like walking in on Jaejoong’s shower is completely natural is complete.
Crap.
But we’re not…anymore. I can’t be here…when he comes out.
Right. Once the shower water turns off, I’ll leave really fast. Then I won’t have to see his wet, shining, fresh soap-smelling, hot…
CRAP.
Now I REALLY can’t leave. I’ve got a…problem now. A big problem. What if Junsu and Changmin are standing outside the door? Crap. I feel like Yoochun, now, when I caught him…excited that one day… Ahhhh…I really, really can’t leave with this…obvious problem.
Wait, maybe it’s not so obvious. I’ll take a look in the mirror…
…
Yep. IT’S AN OBVIOUS PROBLEM. Argh. I’m so frustrated right now, I could punch myself. And so I will.
…
AAHHH! Now it hurts down there!!! Nyaah! Darn it, Jaejoong! He deserves some serious punishment for doing this to me. Punishment, punishment…
What to do? Why me?
~Help Yun
Turn the page~ Page 42 - Changmin || Page 44 - Junsu