One Touch [Oneshot]
[One Touch] xDDDDD Do. NOT. Ask how I thought of this. I'm still trying to figure it out. And don't be alarmed if you get confused somewhere in there. I did, too. xDDDDDDDDDD
Jaejoong glares at Changmin from across the table.
Changmin glares at Jaejoong through a mouthful of Jaejoong's spicy grilled chicken he stole off the stove.
And so it has begun.
They are alone for the moment while the two wait for the scent of JAEJOONG'S DINNER (*trumpet fanfare from heaven*) to waft down the hallway to the others. Yoochun is dead asleep somewhere so there's no telling when he'll come out from hibernation.
But for now it's just them.
Jaejoong and Changmin.
Changmin and Jaejoong.
Hyung vs. Maknae
Wide shoulders vs. Long legs
Beauty vs. Handsome
WHOOOO! vs. Smarts
Cook vs. Human food decomposer
Jae vs. Min
Man vs. Manly
Badminton vs-
Changmin delivers the first blow.
He takes a pinch full of rice into his first three fingers, Jaejoong giving the You better not, punk look, but he doesn't care. He slings it. At Jaejoong's face.
But Jaejoong doesn't panic. He knows the consequences of starting a war now, a treat rather than punishment. Merely licking a rice grain from his chin, his eyes turn shades of gray and shadow black as he narrows them in fair warning of the pwnage about to rain from the skies.
He dips the tips of his fingers into the flower vase Junsu was kind enough arrange for the rest of them earlier and gets them nice and wet. He lets them sit in there so the moisture can fully claim itself to his supple, velvety skin. The water is cold but the expectant look on Changmin's face makes Jaejoong hot.
He flexes his fingers in the vase, claws at the water like a newborn kitten to a ball of pink yarn and lets the weeds...'special plants' as Junsu called them after his extra special excursion to the backyard about an hour ago, brush against the back of his hand.
Now is not the time. Wait for it. Changmin's looking right at him, but it's the tension that makes it that much more amazing. The build up that makes the after-climax high that much more explosive. The beads of sweat on the other's face as their sporadic panting (Are they panting now? Wtf? Who left the heater on?? Darn it, Yunho!) collides together in a sexy tangle of fog and whatever Changmin had for breakfast, before lunch, lunch, after lunch, and after lunch snack.
Jaejoong extracts his fingers. They're dripping wet with oh so much watery goodness. Giving Changmin a smiling smirk that says, Take it all, he curls his fingers back, ready to flick the weed flower water in all directions.
But he doesn't. To Changmin's surprise and wonder.
But rather, he shoves his fingers in Changmin's ears.
Yes. Ears.
Wiggling his wet digits in there as if there were a secret passage to Changmin's brain in there. Whether or not he found it is a mystery to this day. But if he had found it, Jaejoong would be at least 6 IQ points smarter.
...Maybe he didn't find the passage way.
Anyway, Changmin doesn't like this, so Jaejoong removes his prying, still damp fingers and shoves them in the maknae's mouth. It was Changmin's own fault. He shouldn't have had that hole open screaming things like,
"HYUNG!! What the hell is wrong with you?! Not Junsu's 'special plant' water!! Not my ears!! No!"
So logically, Jaejoong shut him up. With his wet fingers. We don't irritate hyung.
And so logically, Changmin bites Jaejoong's wet fingers. We don't feed the maknae fake food right before dinner.
Jaejoong's power is too strong. His wide shoulders too filled with rippling, toned muscles. Changmin had no chance.
His fingers are still massaging the inside of Changmin's mouth when Junsu walks in the kitchen.
He stops.
He stares.
Jaejoong stares.
Changmin chokes some more and also stares.
Junsu cocks his head to the side.
He blinks.
He says.
"That's not how you find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow."
He sits down.
He grabs a pair of chopsticks.
As to be expected. Thus, Jaejoong continues with his finger-excursion of Changmin's mouth. Changmin warns him that his own fingers will be doing their own bodily exploration later on. But no one hears him. Jaejoong's fingers are in his mouth, of course.
Jaejoong only ceases self-entertainment when Yoochun walks in and sighs at the weeds special plants and Yunho walks in, then walks out after realizing he left his car keys at the gym earlier today. Wait. How did he get home?
Dinner is served.
Now the only question remains, "Can they wait til after the meal?" Which we all know is a definite and resonant
NO
but they dabble with some way or form of patience anyway.
First. Strategic seating arrangement.
Jaejoong finds a rather smart place to sit next to Yoochun at the corner of the table, but across from Junsu who also sits next to Yoochun at the corner and sideways from Changmin who would be cornering next to Yunho if he wasn't somewhere between the house and the gym without a car, but if Yunho were there, he'd be sitting way across from Yoochun at the end of the table who is about two seats away from Changmin who sits adjacent to Jaejoong who is able to look directly up and see Junsu who found a nice place where he can stare at his vase of weeds special plants in the center of the table while Yoochun makes a point of staring at Junsu rather than the weeds special plants which Jaejoong thinks are actually pretty nice if you tilt your head to the side and sits awesomely next to Yoochun at the cornerish part of the table, but of course relishes his strategic seat right. Next. To. Changmin.
Strategic seating arrangement complete. Not difficult.
Commence foreplay.
Jaejoong loves spicy food. As does Changmin, which may be the cementing forces combining the minds of these two together. But this is one touch. It's not that simple.
Jaejoong perfectly plans it. When setting the table just before choosing his oh so special seating arrangement next to the youngest, he laid the food out on the table. Thus allowing him to plant the bait perfectly in Changmin's spot. Boy, would he be pissed to find out his curry was totally, utterly and completely
bland.
Jaejoong's cooking skills are only surpassed by his infinite knowledge of the roommates feeding off the delicacies he concocts every day. Jaejoong, of course, has the highest spice tolerance, shortly followed by Changmin who claims he could eat a boot set on fire if someone called it food, but Jaejoong still revels in the fact that the maknae's nose always bleeds when he steals a bite of Jaejoong's curry. Yunho and Yoochun enjoy moderately spiced food, while Junsu has virtually zero tolerance and gasps for water after a spoonful of peas.
Naturally, Jaejoong's meals always consist of one extra super fiery hot plate, one slightly less hot but still kickin' dish, two average dishes for those mere humans, and one completely spiceless dish that usually had to be run under water before served.
Jaejoong fidgets in anticipation of the maknae's face. What would happen to those mismatched eyes after that first bite? Would he jump Jaejoong right there on the table in front of the others? Would he wait til Jaejoong was asleep to finish this game of one touch? Would he drag Changmin away and finish him off in a closet? Would he-
Wait.
Something is off.
Junsu.
Doesn't he usually sit opposite where he's sitting right now, but adjacent to Yunho who is usually across from Jaejoong, who usually sits somewhat next to Yoochun? Jaejoong isn't exactly in his usual spot at the dinner table, but this is a special occasion. And that must certainly mean Changmin is out of his usual spot but now he's even more off because Jaejoong certainly didn't expect him to sit there. Yoochun usually sits over there in that spot that's not the one he's sitting in right now, but that kind of shifts over where Yunho would be sitting if he was here, but he's not.
Wait. Where was Jaejoong standing when he figured it all out so perfectly? On the side of the kitchen with the sink or next to the oven on the opposite side of the room? Did he plan to put the bland dish on the right of Junsu's collection of special plants according to the point of view of the oven or...no? Maybe it was left. So where is Jaejoong's extra spicy hot dish now? Aish, this is bad.
If Jaejoong's now adjusted calculations were correct, there are now two bland plates (one supposedly for Changmin), two normal plates and one plate heaped with so much spice, it could burns holes through wooden floors.
Not that this whole seating arrangement thing is difficult to figure out, because it had been so incredibly, embarrassingly easy for the ever intelligent Jaejoong to figure out a minute ago. Just a minor miscalculation has thrown things dangerously off balance. Ugh. Who cares if you're confused now. All that matters is Changmin isn't getting the proper crap curry and Jaejoong doesn't get his awesome spicy-liciousness.
So who has the bland curry? And who has Jaejoong's magma curry?
Jaejoong casually looks around the table. Yunho is still absent. No telling who's curry he has. Jaejoong tries his own curry.
Ugh. Like brown water. How does Junsu stand this stuff? Darn it! Changmin should've been the one settled with this much disappointment. How did Jaejoong end up pranking himself? Bland curry is the devil incarnate. Bleh.
Yoochun samples his own dish while chatting with Junsu about how to keep snails out of the garden. He gets that strange look on his face like a clown just walked in and high-fived his mom and walked out. But then he just shrugs and continues eating. Hmmmm. Must have gotten the other bland curry. He would have made a scene if Jaejoong's curry had made its way anywhere within a meter's diameter of his existence. Those American taste buds...
So...that means there are two normally spiced dishes still out and...Jaejoong's curry. Actually, from this point on, it shall be regarded as Jaejoong's Curry. Capitalization is key.
Jaejoong sneaks a peak at Yunho's plate. Hmmmm. Maybe...?
But then Changmin takes a bite of his own plate. And...and...and....
What the....?
No reaction.
No nosebleeds. No screaming. No crying. No Jaejoong's Curry. So if he somehow ended up with Yunho or Yoochun's curry and no one knows who's curry Absent Yunho has, then what about...?
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Junsu dies.
At least that's what Yoochun thinks, so he spends the next fifteen minutes crying, but he eventually gets over it. Next soccer game, Junsu will come to. When Yunho somehow returns home (...Dude...where are those car keys he went to go find...?) he doesn't question why Junsu is lying unconscious on the floor with blood trickling from one ear and just sits and eats his own normally spiced curry.
So that didn't work.
Oh, well. Minor setback. No more foreplay tonight.
Or maybe...
As Yunho and Yoochun commence irrelevant chatter and Junsu twitches on the floor, Changmin reaches for Jaejoong's knee.
Or at least that's what it looks like.
The buttons of Jaejoong's jeans are undone faster than he'd like to admit and he has burning urge to reach over and do the same, but that's not sneaky and that's not very comfortable for his elbows and that's not the point of one touch.
So he takes another spoonful of crappy curry with the straightest face he can manage while having Changmin's warm hands shoved down the front of his boxers--and not being too gentle about it.
"What's wrong, Jaejoong?"
Yoochun stops eating and stares at Jaejoong who is now wide-eyed, wide-mouthed and banging his head on the table repetitively.
"That won't help me find my car keys," Yunho mumbles inaudibly and moves his cup further away from Jaejoong's head-banging.
"How's your curry, hyung?" Changmin smiles into the spoon he's handling up to his face with his left hand because his right hand is a little busy rubbing precum all over Jaejoong's tip and the eldest doesn't know whether to smack him, die or sneak under the table and suck him off.
Would the others notice if he did all the above?
Junsu twitched on the floor again.
The hand dips even further into Jaejoong's boxers, so of course his knee jerks up with violent force and almost flips the table over.
Yoochun can only stare at Jaejoong's reddening face and Changmin's happiness and Yunho nudges Junsu on the floor with his big toe.
"Are you sick?" Yoochun has abandoned all reason to eat and is eyeing Jaejoong with so much concern, Jaejoong wants to bake him a cake. Or something. Anything to get him out of the general area so Jaejoong can screw Changmin senseless.
"Ah, no," Jaejoong struggles to keep the sanity in his voice while Changmin feigns innocence like the pro he is. "I just can't stand this curry. Must have gotten the serving placements wrong. I'll just eat Junsu's. Seemed like it packed a punch, right?"
Yoochun nods in agreement and shakes his head pitifully at the rotting body that is Kim Junsu. He hopes the soccer game will air soon.
Carefully, Jaejoong lifts himself from his seat without revealing his hips above the table and reaches for Junsu's plate. Mistake?
This only gives Changmin deeper access and he takes it without shame or hesitation, sliding his groping hands down the shaft until the tip of his fingers can feel Jaejoong's balls get really, really happy that Changmin is here.
Once Jaejoong has his hands curved around plate, he pauses. Okay. Great. He's got his curry. Now...he must sit back down.
He knows, he just knows that once he starts leaning back towards his seat, the invasive hands will have total access of the entirety of his nether region and he doesn't know if his self control can make it all the way to the cushion of his dining chair.
But he must sit. Yoochun is staring again.
With each inch he moves back towards his chair, Changmin's hands wrap tighter, tighter around his cock which, by the way, is throbbing so hard right now Jaejoong think that if it bursts, his heart will also burst and he will die right along with Junsu until the badminton tournament airs on ESPN2 and that's going to take forever.
Almost there, almost there....almost...there....almost.....there......
"Jae," Yoochun pipes again. "You're making that face you always make when you're asleep in the car that looks like you got hit in the face with a Frisbee. You know it freaks me out. Are you constipated?"
"Agh," Jaejoong tries and fails to make that sound like more of a nonchalant grunt than a panting moan. "I'm, uh, I just--Ahaaaa...." Changmin's hands are pumping like mad, faster, faster...
"Jaejoong..." The suspicion in Yoochun's voice is apparent. Abort mission! Abort mission! Darn you to a very bad place, Park Yoochun, abort mission!
Or maybe...
"I'm fine, Yoochun," Jaejoong manages a wide, but strained smile and slowly drapes his arm across Changmin's back like the lovely little brother he is... "This curry is just really good. I'm a cooking genius. Heh...heh...."
There! Jaejoong takes this opportune chance to casually slide his arm lower and lower on Changmin's back and once Yoochun is satisfied, confused but still satisfied, bam!
Down into the back of Changmin's sweat pants he goes.
He lurches forward with a start, straightening his back so straight and rigid, Yunho gets jealous.
Yoochun's eyes widen as he gazes at Changmin now. "What's wrong with you?"
"Math," is all he says and no one can doubt that he's the smartest, because Yoochun has to look off into space for about five minutes and think deeply about the meaning of whatever it was Changmin said, giving the youngest time to pull hard at Jaejoong's weeping sex and Jaejoong thinks he'll start weeping if he doesn't come soon.
But he's rewarded when his wandering fingers slide between Changmin's cheeks, searching, searching for that soft, puckered...
"Nyaaaaaahh." This time no one responds. Yoochun is still pondering 'math,' Yunho is really enjoying his curry and Junsu sneezes on the floor. Only Jaejoong smirks. He probably should have lubricated his finger with soy sauce. Or better yet...
"Yoochun, what's that?"
"What's what?" Yoochun snaps out of it and looks curiously at Jaejoong.
"That," Jaejoong points somewhere, anywhere behind Yoochun's head.
"I don't see where you're going with this," Yoochun deadpans and Yunho eats more curry.
"Just look," Jaejoong snaps.
"I know there's only a microwave behind me. What's your point?" Yoochun is petulant now and the only reason Jaejoong doesn't throw a piece of cabbage at him is because he lets him borrow his shirts.
"Just turn your head away from me and Changmin and look for a fricking second," Jaejoong says sweetly. Yoochun does just that.
In less time than it takes Changmin to register what's up Jaejoong's sleeve, the eldest takes a spoonful of his Jaejoong Curry and drips it down the cleft of Changmin's backside.
The note Changmin hits is so high, Yunho suddenly remembers that he left his car keys in his pocket. (Soooo, where's the car??)
"Changmin!" Yoochun shouts and Jaejoong smiles.
"Don't worry, Yoochun," He says like honey. "Min just begged to have a taste my Curry."
With this, Jaejoong slides his hand down the back of Changmin's pants again, taking trails of Curry with him and enters. This time Changmin is calm enough not to jump or squeal but he twists his mouth in a weird way. But Yoochun has now busied himself with staring wistfully at Junsu's motionless body and Yunho is chewing on a fingernail.
The deeper Jaejoong pries, the faster Changmin rubs and eventually, they're both a squirming mess.
Changmin's gotten so hot, he can't help but entertain the delusional urge to rip Jaejoong's pants off right now and run his tongue up and down that vein on the side of his cock til he runs out of spit and dehydrates and then ends up dead on the floor like Junsu. What is it, like another hour til the soccer game comes on? Poor Junsu. And his weeds are wilting.
But Jaejoong isn't. He's so far gone, he no longer cares and just throws his head back panting like a thirsty dog and crooks the finger inside of Changmin as his toes curl.
That's the spot. Changmin's mouth is bleeding now. But biting down too hard on his tongue and having that special spot laved is so good, he considers the coppery taste is his mouth a dessert to his hyung's fine dinner.
"Someone pass the salt, please," Yunho says obliviously.
"No," Jaejoong grunts.
"Math," Changmin mumbles.
"Junsu..." Yoochun shakes his head.
And Yunho goes the rest of the meal with no salt.
A few minutes later, Yunho and Yoochun finish the same time Changmin does--loudly and without restraint. But his plate is still full and cold, as are Jaejoong's and Junsu's.
With a resolute pat on Changmin's behind, Jaejoong extracts his hand from the other's pants and helps the youngest get himself off to a dazzling end, both their hands rubbing furiously and might I say, rather conspicuously.
"Jaejoong, do you want me to help you do the dishes?" Yoochun inquires just as Jaejoong releases long and hard into the front of his pants and partially on the bottom of the table.
Changmin eyes the mess and suddenly feels hungry again. But not for curry.
"No, no...no," Jaejoong attempts to regain his breath, but knows it's impossible. "I'll do it. You just...leave...now."
"But the dishes--"
"I'll help hyung," Changmin offers, just as unwilling to raise himself from the privacy of the dinner table as the man next to him. Now how would either of them explain hot curry seeping through the back of the maknae's pants?
"But Junsu..." Yoochun looks longingly at the floor.
"He'll come to when the soccer game comes on," Changmin snaps, covering the front and back of his pants with his hands. "Just go into the living room with Yunho and turn on ESPN."
"And turn the volume up," Jaejoong adds. Just in case.
Eventually, the other two leave the kitchen and enjoy man to man time over a game of extreme water polo, while Junsu remains safely unconscious on the floor. Jaejoong and Changmin have more messes to clean up than your usual kitchen, but they're perfectly fine with that.
"Who won this game?" Changmin asks, turning on the sink and placing dirty dishes under the foaming water.
Jaejoong thinks for a second, not quite sure he cared whether there was a winner or loser of this particular game. "I dunno. Do you really think one touch for today is over?" A dark eyebrow reaches for the sky.
Changmin smirks. "Maybe it ends after we get everything cleaned up. How about we start with that mess you made in my pants?"
"The front mess or the back mess?" Jaejoong teases, running a finger around the other's bellybutton through his shirt.
"How about the back?" Changmin puts his elbows on the kitchen table and leans forward, legs spread and waiting.
Jaejoong licks his lips. "A second helping of Curry? Don't mind if I do..."
Thankfully, it's only after today's game of one touch ends and the kitchen is spotless once again that Junsu awakes in the middle of the kitchen floor to the sound of "Gooooooaaaaaalllll!" emitting from the living room TV. Yes, he's alive but his team loses and Yunho won't let him live it down.
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Comments are like Jaejoong's Curry. >:D
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Jaejoong glares at Changmin from across the table.
Changmin glares at Jaejoong through a mouthful of Jaejoong's spicy grilled chicken he stole off the stove.
And so it has begun.
They are alone for the moment while the two wait for the scent of JAEJOONG'S DINNER (*trumpet fanfare from heaven*) to waft down the hallway to the others. Yoochun is dead asleep somewhere so there's no telling when he'll come out from hibernation.
But for now it's just them.
Jaejoong and Changmin.
Changmin and Jaejoong.
Hyung vs. Maknae
Wide shoulders vs. Long legs
Beauty vs. Handsome
WHOOOO! vs. Smarts
Cook vs. Human food decomposer
Jae vs. Min
Man vs. Manly
Badminton vs-
Changmin delivers the first blow.
He takes a pinch full of rice into his first three fingers, Jaejoong giving the You better not, punk look, but he doesn't care. He slings it. At Jaejoong's face.
But Jaejoong doesn't panic. He knows the consequences of starting a war now, a treat rather than punishment. Merely licking a rice grain from his chin, his eyes turn shades of gray and shadow black as he narrows them in fair warning of the pwnage about to rain from the skies.
He dips the tips of his fingers into the flower vase Junsu was kind enough arrange for the rest of them earlier and gets them nice and wet. He lets them sit in there so the moisture can fully claim itself to his supple, velvety skin. The water is cold but the expectant look on Changmin's face makes Jaejoong hot.
He flexes his fingers in the vase, claws at the water like a newborn kitten to a ball of pink yarn and lets the weeds...'special plants' as Junsu called them after his extra special excursion to the backyard about an hour ago, brush against the back of his hand.
Now is not the time. Wait for it. Changmin's looking right at him, but it's the tension that makes it that much more amazing. The build up that makes the after-climax high that much more explosive. The beads of sweat on the other's face as their sporadic panting (Are they panting now? Wtf? Who left the heater on?? Darn it, Yunho!) collides together in a sexy tangle of fog and whatever Changmin had for breakfast, before lunch, lunch, after lunch, and after lunch snack.
Jaejoong extracts his fingers. They're dripping wet with oh so much watery goodness. Giving Changmin a smiling smirk that says, Take it all, he curls his fingers back, ready to flick the weed flower water in all directions.
But he doesn't. To Changmin's surprise and wonder.
But rather, he shoves his fingers in Changmin's ears.
Yes. Ears.
Wiggling his wet digits in there as if there were a secret passage to Changmin's brain in there. Whether or not he found it is a mystery to this day. But if he had found it, Jaejoong would be at least 6 IQ points smarter.
...Maybe he didn't find the passage way.
Anyway, Changmin doesn't like this, so Jaejoong removes his prying, still damp fingers and shoves them in the maknae's mouth. It was Changmin's own fault. He shouldn't have had that hole open screaming things like,
"HYUNG!! What the hell is wrong with you?! Not Junsu's 'special plant' water!! Not my ears!! No!"
So logically, Jaejoong shut him up. With his wet fingers. We don't irritate hyung.
And so logically, Changmin bites Jaejoong's wet fingers. We don't feed the maknae fake food right before dinner.
Jaejoong's power is too strong. His wide shoulders too filled with rippling, toned muscles. Changmin had no chance.
His fingers are still massaging the inside of Changmin's mouth when Junsu walks in the kitchen.
He stops.
He stares.
Jaejoong stares.
Changmin chokes some more and also stares.
Junsu cocks his head to the side.
He blinks.
He says.
"That's not how you find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow."
He sits down.
He grabs a pair of chopsticks.
As to be expected. Thus, Jaejoong continues with his finger-excursion of Changmin's mouth. Changmin warns him that his own fingers will be doing their own bodily exploration later on. But no one hears him. Jaejoong's fingers are in his mouth, of course.
Jaejoong only ceases self-entertainment when Yoochun walks in and sighs at the weeds special plants and Yunho walks in, then walks out after realizing he left his car keys at the gym earlier today. Wait. How did he get home?
Dinner is served.
Now the only question remains, "Can they wait til after the meal?" Which we all know is a definite and resonant
NO
but they dabble with some way or form of patience anyway.
First. Strategic seating arrangement.
Jaejoong finds a rather smart place to sit next to Yoochun at the corner of the table, but across from Junsu who also sits next to Yoochun at the corner and sideways from Changmin who would be cornering next to Yunho if he wasn't somewhere between the house and the gym without a car, but if Yunho were there, he'd be sitting way across from Yoochun at the end of the table who is about two seats away from Changmin who sits adjacent to Jaejoong who is able to look directly up and see Junsu who found a nice place where he can stare at his vase of weeds special plants in the center of the table while Yoochun makes a point of staring at Junsu rather than the weeds special plants which Jaejoong thinks are actually pretty nice if you tilt your head to the side and sits awesomely next to Yoochun at the cornerish part of the table, but of course relishes his strategic seat right. Next. To. Changmin.
Strategic seating arrangement complete. Not difficult.
Commence foreplay.
Jaejoong loves spicy food. As does Changmin, which may be the cementing forces combining the minds of these two together. But this is one touch. It's not that simple.
Jaejoong perfectly plans it. When setting the table just before choosing his oh so special seating arrangement next to the youngest, he laid the food out on the table. Thus allowing him to plant the bait perfectly in Changmin's spot. Boy, would he be pissed to find out his curry was totally, utterly and completely
bland.
Jaejoong's cooking skills are only surpassed by his infinite knowledge of the roommates feeding off the delicacies he concocts every day. Jaejoong, of course, has the highest spice tolerance, shortly followed by Changmin who claims he could eat a boot set on fire if someone called it food, but Jaejoong still revels in the fact that the maknae's nose always bleeds when he steals a bite of Jaejoong's curry. Yunho and Yoochun enjoy moderately spiced food, while Junsu has virtually zero tolerance and gasps for water after a spoonful of peas.
Naturally, Jaejoong's meals always consist of one extra super fiery hot plate, one slightly less hot but still kickin' dish, two average dishes for those mere humans, and one completely spiceless dish that usually had to be run under water before served.
Jaejoong fidgets in anticipation of the maknae's face. What would happen to those mismatched eyes after that first bite? Would he jump Jaejoong right there on the table in front of the others? Would he wait til Jaejoong was asleep to finish this game of one touch? Would he drag Changmin away and finish him off in a closet? Would he-
Wait.
Something is off.
Junsu.
Doesn't he usually sit opposite where he's sitting right now, but adjacent to Yunho who is usually across from Jaejoong, who usually sits somewhat next to Yoochun? Jaejoong isn't exactly in his usual spot at the dinner table, but this is a special occasion. And that must certainly mean Changmin is out of his usual spot but now he's even more off because Jaejoong certainly didn't expect him to sit there. Yoochun usually sits over there in that spot that's not the one he's sitting in right now, but that kind of shifts over where Yunho would be sitting if he was here, but he's not.
Wait. Where was Jaejoong standing when he figured it all out so perfectly? On the side of the kitchen with the sink or next to the oven on the opposite side of the room? Did he plan to put the bland dish on the right of Junsu's collection of special plants according to the point of view of the oven or...no? Maybe it was left. So where is Jaejoong's extra spicy hot dish now? Aish, this is bad.
If Jaejoong's now adjusted calculations were correct, there are now two bland plates (one supposedly for Changmin), two normal plates and one plate heaped with so much spice, it could burns holes through wooden floors.
Not that this whole seating arrangement thing is difficult to figure out, because it had been so incredibly, embarrassingly easy for the ever intelligent Jaejoong to figure out a minute ago. Just a minor miscalculation has thrown things dangerously off balance. Ugh. Who cares if you're confused now. All that matters is Changmin isn't getting the proper crap curry and Jaejoong doesn't get his awesome spicy-liciousness.
So who has the bland curry? And who has Jaejoong's magma curry?
Jaejoong casually looks around the table. Yunho is still absent. No telling who's curry he has. Jaejoong tries his own curry.
Ugh. Like brown water. How does Junsu stand this stuff? Darn it! Changmin should've been the one settled with this much disappointment. How did Jaejoong end up pranking himself? Bland curry is the devil incarnate. Bleh.
Yoochun samples his own dish while chatting with Junsu about how to keep snails out of the garden. He gets that strange look on his face like a clown just walked in and high-fived his mom and walked out. But then he just shrugs and continues eating. Hmmmm. Must have gotten the other bland curry. He would have made a scene if Jaejoong's curry had made its way anywhere within a meter's diameter of his existence. Those American taste buds...
So...that means there are two normally spiced dishes still out and...Jaejoong's curry. Actually, from this point on, it shall be regarded as Jaejoong's Curry. Capitalization is key.
Jaejoong sneaks a peak at Yunho's plate. Hmmmm. Maybe...?
But then Changmin takes a bite of his own plate. And...and...and....
What the....?
No reaction.
No nosebleeds. No screaming. No crying. No Jaejoong's Curry. So if he somehow ended up with Yunho or Yoochun's curry and no one knows who's curry Absent Yunho has, then what about...?
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Junsu dies.
At least that's what Yoochun thinks, so he spends the next fifteen minutes crying, but he eventually gets over it. Next soccer game, Junsu will come to. When Yunho somehow returns home (...Dude...where are those car keys he went to go find...?) he doesn't question why Junsu is lying unconscious on the floor with blood trickling from one ear and just sits and eats his own normally spiced curry.
So that didn't work.
Oh, well. Minor setback. No more foreplay tonight.
Or maybe...
As Yunho and Yoochun commence irrelevant chatter and Junsu twitches on the floor, Changmin reaches for Jaejoong's knee.
Or at least that's what it looks like.
The buttons of Jaejoong's jeans are undone faster than he'd like to admit and he has burning urge to reach over and do the same, but that's not sneaky and that's not very comfortable for his elbows and that's not the point of one touch.
So he takes another spoonful of crappy curry with the straightest face he can manage while having Changmin's warm hands shoved down the front of his boxers--and not being too gentle about it.
"What's wrong, Jaejoong?"
Yoochun stops eating and stares at Jaejoong who is now wide-eyed, wide-mouthed and banging his head on the table repetitively.
"That won't help me find my car keys," Yunho mumbles inaudibly and moves his cup further away from Jaejoong's head-banging.
"How's your curry, hyung?" Changmin smiles into the spoon he's handling up to his face with his left hand because his right hand is a little busy rubbing precum all over Jaejoong's tip and the eldest doesn't know whether to smack him, die or sneak under the table and suck him off.
Would the others notice if he did all the above?
Junsu twitched on the floor again.
The hand dips even further into Jaejoong's boxers, so of course his knee jerks up with violent force and almost flips the table over.
Yoochun can only stare at Jaejoong's reddening face and Changmin's happiness and Yunho nudges Junsu on the floor with his big toe.
"Are you sick?" Yoochun has abandoned all reason to eat and is eyeing Jaejoong with so much concern, Jaejoong wants to bake him a cake. Or something. Anything to get him out of the general area so Jaejoong can screw Changmin senseless.
"Ah, no," Jaejoong struggles to keep the sanity in his voice while Changmin feigns innocence like the pro he is. "I just can't stand this curry. Must have gotten the serving placements wrong. I'll just eat Junsu's. Seemed like it packed a punch, right?"
Yoochun nods in agreement and shakes his head pitifully at the rotting body that is Kim Junsu. He hopes the soccer game will air soon.
Carefully, Jaejoong lifts himself from his seat without revealing his hips above the table and reaches for Junsu's plate. Mistake?
This only gives Changmin deeper access and he takes it without shame or hesitation, sliding his groping hands down the shaft until the tip of his fingers can feel Jaejoong's balls get really, really happy that Changmin is here.
Once Jaejoong has his hands curved around plate, he pauses. Okay. Great. He's got his curry. Now...he must sit back down.
He knows, he just knows that once he starts leaning back towards his seat, the invasive hands will have total access of the entirety of his nether region and he doesn't know if his self control can make it all the way to the cushion of his dining chair.
But he must sit. Yoochun is staring again.
With each inch he moves back towards his chair, Changmin's hands wrap tighter, tighter around his cock which, by the way, is throbbing so hard right now Jaejoong think that if it bursts, his heart will also burst and he will die right along with Junsu until the badminton tournament airs on ESPN2 and that's going to take forever.
Almost there, almost there....almost...there....almost.....there......
"Jae," Yoochun pipes again. "You're making that face you always make when you're asleep in the car that looks like you got hit in the face with a Frisbee. You know it freaks me out. Are you constipated?"
"Agh," Jaejoong tries and fails to make that sound like more of a nonchalant grunt than a panting moan. "I'm, uh, I just--Ahaaaa...." Changmin's hands are pumping like mad, faster, faster...
"Jaejoong..." The suspicion in Yoochun's voice is apparent. Abort mission! Abort mission! Darn you to a very bad place, Park Yoochun, abort mission!
Or maybe...
"I'm fine, Yoochun," Jaejoong manages a wide, but strained smile and slowly drapes his arm across Changmin's back like the lovely little brother he is... "This curry is just really good. I'm a cooking genius. Heh...heh...."
There! Jaejoong takes this opportune chance to casually slide his arm lower and lower on Changmin's back and once Yoochun is satisfied, confused but still satisfied, bam!
Down into the back of Changmin's sweat pants he goes.
He lurches forward with a start, straightening his back so straight and rigid, Yunho gets jealous.
Yoochun's eyes widen as he gazes at Changmin now. "What's wrong with you?"
"Math," is all he says and no one can doubt that he's the smartest, because Yoochun has to look off into space for about five minutes and think deeply about the meaning of whatever it was Changmin said, giving the youngest time to pull hard at Jaejoong's weeping sex and Jaejoong thinks he'll start weeping if he doesn't come soon.
But he's rewarded when his wandering fingers slide between Changmin's cheeks, searching, searching for that soft, puckered...
"Nyaaaaaahh." This time no one responds. Yoochun is still pondering 'math,' Yunho is really enjoying his curry and Junsu sneezes on the floor. Only Jaejoong smirks. He probably should have lubricated his finger with soy sauce. Or better yet...
"Yoochun, what's that?"
"What's what?" Yoochun snaps out of it and looks curiously at Jaejoong.
"That," Jaejoong points somewhere, anywhere behind Yoochun's head.
"I don't see where you're going with this," Yoochun deadpans and Yunho eats more curry.
"Just look," Jaejoong snaps.
"I know there's only a microwave behind me. What's your point?" Yoochun is petulant now and the only reason Jaejoong doesn't throw a piece of cabbage at him is because he lets him borrow his shirts.
"Just turn your head away from me and Changmin and look for a fricking second," Jaejoong says sweetly. Yoochun does just that.
In less time than it takes Changmin to register what's up Jaejoong's sleeve, the eldest takes a spoonful of his Jaejoong Curry and drips it down the cleft of Changmin's backside.
The note Changmin hits is so high, Yunho suddenly remembers that he left his car keys in his pocket. (Soooo, where's the car??)
"Changmin!" Yoochun shouts and Jaejoong smiles.
"Don't worry, Yoochun," He says like honey. "Min just begged to have a taste my Curry."
With this, Jaejoong slides his hand down the back of Changmin's pants again, taking trails of Curry with him and enters. This time Changmin is calm enough not to jump or squeal but he twists his mouth in a weird way. But Yoochun has now busied himself with staring wistfully at Junsu's motionless body and Yunho is chewing on a fingernail.
The deeper Jaejoong pries, the faster Changmin rubs and eventually, they're both a squirming mess.
Changmin's gotten so hot, he can't help but entertain the delusional urge to rip Jaejoong's pants off right now and run his tongue up and down that vein on the side of his cock til he runs out of spit and dehydrates and then ends up dead on the floor like Junsu. What is it, like another hour til the soccer game comes on? Poor Junsu. And his weeds are wilting.
But Jaejoong isn't. He's so far gone, he no longer cares and just throws his head back panting like a thirsty dog and crooks the finger inside of Changmin as his toes curl.
That's the spot. Changmin's mouth is bleeding now. But biting down too hard on his tongue and having that special spot laved is so good, he considers the coppery taste is his mouth a dessert to his hyung's fine dinner.
"Someone pass the salt, please," Yunho says obliviously.
"No," Jaejoong grunts.
"Math," Changmin mumbles.
"Junsu..." Yoochun shakes his head.
And Yunho goes the rest of the meal with no salt.
A few minutes later, Yunho and Yoochun finish the same time Changmin does--loudly and without restraint. But his plate is still full and cold, as are Jaejoong's and Junsu's.
With a resolute pat on Changmin's behind, Jaejoong extracts his hand from the other's pants and helps the youngest get himself off to a dazzling end, both their hands rubbing furiously and might I say, rather conspicuously.
"Jaejoong, do you want me to help you do the dishes?" Yoochun inquires just as Jaejoong releases long and hard into the front of his pants and partially on the bottom of the table.
Changmin eyes the mess and suddenly feels hungry again. But not for curry.
"No, no...no," Jaejoong attempts to regain his breath, but knows it's impossible. "I'll do it. You just...leave...now."
"But the dishes--"
"I'll help hyung," Changmin offers, just as unwilling to raise himself from the privacy of the dinner table as the man next to him. Now how would either of them explain hot curry seeping through the back of the maknae's pants?
"But Junsu..." Yoochun looks longingly at the floor.
"He'll come to when the soccer game comes on," Changmin snaps, covering the front and back of his pants with his hands. "Just go into the living room with Yunho and turn on ESPN."
"And turn the volume up," Jaejoong adds. Just in case.
Eventually, the other two leave the kitchen and enjoy man to man time over a game of extreme water polo, while Junsu remains safely unconscious on the floor. Jaejoong and Changmin have more messes to clean up than your usual kitchen, but they're perfectly fine with that.
"Who won this game?" Changmin asks, turning on the sink and placing dirty dishes under the foaming water.
Jaejoong thinks for a second, not quite sure he cared whether there was a winner or loser of this particular game. "I dunno. Do you really think one touch for today is over?" A dark eyebrow reaches for the sky.
Changmin smirks. "Maybe it ends after we get everything cleaned up. How about we start with that mess you made in my pants?"
"The front mess or the back mess?" Jaejoong teases, running a finger around the other's bellybutton through his shirt.
"How about the back?" Changmin puts his elbows on the kitchen table and leans forward, legs spread and waiting.
Jaejoong licks his lips. "A second helping of Curry? Don't mind if I do..."
Thankfully, it's only after today's game of one touch ends and the kitchen is spotless once again that Junsu awakes in the middle of the kitchen floor to the sound of "Gooooooaaaaaalllll!" emitting from the living room TV. Yes, he's alive but his team loses and Yunho won't let him live it down.
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Comments are like Jaejoong's Curry. >:D
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