Plus installation!
Title: Harbor
Pairing: Nanase Haruka/OC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Haru-chan finally becomes honest.
Note: This is the third story after Coastline and Soup-Port.
“You two are like Mama and Papa.”
The water splashes as Miharu and Haruka take their hands back to the surface and they busy themselves with the rest of the washing. Nagisa has popped right behind them that it’s only natural to be startled.
“Nagisa-kun? What are you doing?” Rei questions in disbelief as he trudges behind the hyperactive boy, who now points at both Miharu and Haruka.
“Well, I was just thinking how they look like a Mama and a Papa right now.”
Rei’s face darkens toward Nagisa’s innocent imagination. While Nagisa beams at Rei’s bewildered expression, Makoto has decided to come over to pull them back to the meeting.
“What are you guys doing here?”
“Mako-chan!” Nagisa sings. “Miharu-chan and Haru-chan are playing house!”
Makoto’s eyebrows rise a bit in surprise. “They are?”
“It’s simply Nagisa-kun’s ridiculous imagination. Pay no mind to him, Haruka-senpai, Hasegawa-senpai,” Rei says to the two over his shoulder. He saunters back to the den, being asked what happened immediately by the Matsuoka siblings.
“Geez. At least my imagination still works! Right, Mako-chan?” Nagisa playfully remarks.
“Yes, yes. Now let’s leave Miharu-chan and Haru to finish the dishes,” Makoto stalls as he ushers Nagisa back to the group. “Do you need help drying off?”
“That’s okay! Thanks, Makoto-kun,” Miharu replies with the best ‘I-am-so-not-embarrassed’ impression she could ever pull off whilst carefully rubbing a plate. With a nod neither Haruka nor Miharu can see, Makoto returns to the others. Eventually, Haruka finishes his half and goes to get something from the fridge. Miharu doesn’t peek at what he’s doing so she focuses on drying the rest of the cups and bowls quietly. Hearing footsteps filing out of the kitchen, Miharu believes that Haruka has just gone somewhere. She sighs in relief.
How am I going to put up with this? I feel weird…
Just as she shuts her eyes tightly, something presses lightly against the back of her head. Right at that moment, Miharu hears more voices and footsteps rushing to somewhere far away.
“Bang.”
Miharu opens her eyes in slits, only the teensy view of the glass she’s holding invading her sight. Rin pulls his ‘gun’ (in the form of his index finger and thumb) back and pockets his hands.
“You done?”
Miharu shakes her head. Discreetly, she rushes the rinsing and wiping.
“Everyone went out to check the cats behind Haru’s house,” Rin informs dully. He looks around the kitchen as if he’s a cleanliness inspector. It’s just that, it has been a long time since he last saw Haruka’s kitchen and he didn’t expect to be in it with a girl who barely has any ties with Haruka himself.
‘Playing house’, Nagisa said… How fitting.
“Matsuoka-kun.”
“Yeah?”
Finally, Miharu finishes her share. She reaches out to pull the clog but stops.
“I don’t intend to come in between everyone and Nanase-kun. I just wanted you to know.”
Then the water gets flushed out…
“You really like Haru, don’t you, Miharu-san?” Rin replies with a bit of wonder. “Haru’s pretty lucky then.”
Miharu hesitates.
Guilt. Vulnerability. Weakness.
“Not at all…”
Rin’s eyes soften with the passing silence. He doesn’t know this girl and he’d rather not pry into matters where he isn’t needed. As a gentleman, Rin waits for Miharu and they go back to sit in the other room until their companions return. They don’t exchange words yet there are hundreds of questions spinning around in their minds.
“We’re back!” Nagisa announces.
“Where’s Haru?” Rin asks the moment he didn’t see the quiet boy enter with them.
Makoto chuckles. “He’s still feeding the cats. It won’t be long until he comes back though.”
“Miharu-senpai, are you leaving already?” Gou inquires upon seeing Miharu stand up. The shy girl nods shortly before smiling at Gou. Rin watches this passively.
“Aww! Did you just come here to eat, Miharu-chan?” Nagisa whines jokingly.
“Oi, Nagisa,” Rin calls in some kind of warning.
“I was joking! Geez, Rin-chan…”
“But Haruka-senpai is still outside,” Rei reminds.
Miharu nods again. “I’ll say goodbye to him on my way out. Um, thank you for today and I’m sorry for the trouble,” Miharu says then bows. She straightens up and waves at Gou on her way to the other hall. As soon as she puts her shoes on, Miharu takes in a long, deep breath and releases it.
Something is definitely wrong with me.
Miharu finally makes up her mind and slides the front door open, setting foot outside where the cool breeze brushes her hair back slightly and she breathes this same air in to somehow freeze whatever it is that’s wrong inside her.
I couldn’t even say goodbye to them properly…
“You…”
Miharu turns to the side where Haruka is standing with a small tin bowl in his hands and curiosity spread over his face. Miharu bows to him too.
“Thank you for today. I’m sorry for the trouble.”
“Did the meeting end already?”
“Ah. I don’t know. I’m not part of the club so I didn’t hear.”
Crap… Just now… I sounded so…!
“Did Rin say anything to you?”
“Huh?”
Haruka looks up at the torii overshadowing his house. The wind whistles with the smell of the ocean.
“It’s nothing.”
Miharu nods. “I’ll be on my way then. Excuse me.”
She makes her way down the stairs but before she could completely lose the sight and presence of Haruka’s house behind her, she spots a kitten sitting on one of the stony steps. She folds her skirt under herself as she crouches down to talk to it.
“Hey, kitty kitty. Are you lost?” Miharu whispers. The white kitten only meows, of course.
“Ah. There you are.”
Miharu doesn’t look. Haruka crouches down next to her to see the kitten. The little creature instantly rubs its head against Haruka’s hand, purring in delight.
“Does it have a name?” Miharu asks.
“No. It isn’t mine,” Haruka answers. He sets the tin bowl down so that the kitten can eat the leftover food. Miharu strokes her chin as she hums, thinking.
“I got it!”
Haruka turns to Miharu and the girl beams at him, much like how Nagisa does.
“Let’s call it Kami.”
“God?”
Miharu pauses. “Uh, right… Mika then!”
Haruka only stares. There’s a question in his eyes that Miharu somehow notices.
“Oh, well, we both have Haru in our names so I figured we can’t have another Haru or else we’d get mixed up with this cutie here,” Miharu explains as she pats the kitten’s head once. “So I took out the -ka from your name and the mi- from mine.”
Why?
“Since we’re both here to see this cutie, I thought it’d be okay to name it after ourselves,” Miharu adds with a chuckle, unknowingly answering the question in Haruka’s mind.
“I see…”
As the kitten eats and the two watch it, Miharu suddenly remembers something funny that it evokes giggles from her.
“Hey, Nanase-kun? It’s like we’re really playing house, huh?”
The kitten finishes eating and it promptly goes to rub its head against Miharu’s hand this time. This takes Miharu by surprise but she enjoys it, nonetheless. The corners of Haruka’s lips stretch only a teensy bit.
“Yeah.”
Meanwhile, inside the Nanase Residence, Gou is glaring at Rin from across the table.
“What is it, Gou?”
“You bullied Miharu-senpai, didn’t you?”
“Huh?”
“Rin-chan can be rude sometimes but I don’t think he’d lay a finger on such fragile girls!” Nagisa cuts in.
“I would never-“
“Then why did Miharu-senpai leave?”
“How should I know?”
“May I add the possibility that it may have been Haruka-senpai’s pineapple-mackerel?” Rei shares with a raised hand.
Silence.
“I doubt it! Miharu-chan didn’t look sick when she was eating it earlier. She was just quiet!” Nagisa argues as if he’s defending Haruka’s cooking.
Quiet… Maybe all this time Miharu-chan has been… Makoto ponders. A sad curve appears on his face.
“What is it, Makoto?” Rin calls, to which Makoto answers with a shake of his head.
The door slides closed behind him as Haruka enters into the room.
“Haruka-senpai, did you see Miharu-senpai outside?” Gou asks.
“Yeah.”
“And?” Rei urges. Haruka tilts his head in wonder.
“And?” Haruka repeats.
“Give up already. Who the heck would know why she left anyway?” Rin remarks with a tsk that obviously makes him sound irritated. Haruka catches up to the matter at hand whilst proceeding to the kitchen to return the bowl.
“She named a kitten.”
“Miharu-chan did?” Nagisa says. In the kitchen, Haruka nods to himself as he starts washing the tin bowl.
“See? She’s fine,” Rin declares with a shrug. “Hurry it up, Haru. Gou’s going to show you a list of regimen she had in mind.”
“Ah, r-right!” Gou stutters, scrambling to get pieces of papers from her bag.
Haruka lets the tap run water to wash the tiny pieces of mackerel skin stuck against the tin. Makoto observes Haruka’s quietness and tries - really hard - not to be bothered by it. It’s because Haruka’s usually quiet anyway and Makoto has gotten used to this since long ago but once upon a time, there wasn’t a Hasegawa Miharu during their carefree childhood days.
All the way in Samezuka Academy that evening, Rin jogs around the campus. By the time he gets back to the dorm, he meets his roommate in the hall.
“Welcome back, Matsuoka-senpai!” Nitori Aiichiro greets happily. Rin waves a little then goes back to wiping his sweat with a towel. “Is it cold outside?”
“What do you think?” Rin shots back. Ai somewhat feels offended but he takes it in just okay since he’s used to Rin’s behavior by then.
“Is something wrong, senpai?”
Rin grunts, leaving Ai as he makes his way back to their shared room.
Everything’s just PEACHY.
Once they get back to the room, Rin plops straight down on his bed and Ai stands at the side.
“Senpai, if something’s bothering you, you can tell me,” Ai tries worriedly. Rin sits up.
“Anything?”
Ai nods, fists up and tight with determination. “Yes, senpai. Anything!”
Rin crosses his arms over his chest, eyes shut as he contemplates whether he should really tell Ai what’s bothering him.
It’s not something we usually talk about. Actually, we never really talked about anything like that. And why the hell am I going to a freshman for advice?!
“Matsuoka-senpai?” Ai calls for the third time. Rin hasn’t been paying him any attention at all, being lost in his thoughts and whatnot.
“UGH!” Rin scratches his head wildly. Ai takes a step back as a precaution.
“Sen-“
“AI!”
“Y-Yes?!”
“If someone confessed to you, how would you react?!”
Ai blinks. “SOMEONE CONFESSED TO MATSUOKA-SENPAI?!”
“Just answer the question!”
BAM
“MATSUOKA!”
“C-Captain?!” Rin and Ai chorus in shock. Mikoshiba Seijuro enters the room, shoulders hunched, feet heavy and stomping, eyes glaring that Ai can’t stop himself from trembling. The captain stops in front of Rin’s bed with such menacingly huge eyes that Rin begins to feel uncomfortable.
“Matsuoka…”
“Y-Yeah?”
Unexpectedly, an impossibly bright and stupid grin stretches widely on the captain’s face and Rin can’t help but grind his teeth in utmost irritation.
“I heard Nitori just now. Someone confessed to you?” Seijuro teases. Rin turns to glare at Ai on the other side of the room.
“N-No, I mean… Matsuoka-senpai-“
“You’ve been hiding this all along huh, Matsuoka?” Seijuro goes on. “You could’ve gone to me if you needed tips about dating. I know all of that!”
Rin raises an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Whatever. I don’t need this crap. I’m going out.” He stands up and brushes by Seijuro on the way to the door.
“Even if it’s not about dating, you can always come to us, Matsuoka,” Seijuro says seriously with the smile of a capable captain on his calm face. Ai agrees as he nods. Rin ignores them and takes his leave but the words stay in his head. Instead of jogging again, Rin only walks. He takes in the night view of the campus he usually sees but never really paid mind to during his evening jogs. It’s fairly big, with trees almost everywhere he looks but there are no more leaves to hear rustle in the wind. They’re all on the ground, being trampled on by Rin on his way to the building where the indoor pool is. No one is there now since Seijuro himself is quite a strict person about curfew so Rin has the pool all to himself.
All to myself…
Rin looks down at the tranquil waters then. The night sky reflects on this natural mirror and Rin recalls his races with Haruka. The races he won then the races that Haruka won. Rin kneels down on one knee and touches the water with a finger.
Ripples, ripples, ripples…
If it’s just his finger that makes ripples in the water, what does it take to make Rin’s feelings waver? The night is long yet there is no answer.
The following morning, right after a huge breakfast, Makoto makes his way to Haruka’s house. But instead of going to the back door to get Haruka out of the bath, when he rings the doorbell, Haruka has already gotten dressed.
“What?” Haruka finally asks. Makoto has been smiling at him silly since they sat at the table.
“Nothing. I was just thinking how grown-up you are today, Haru,” Makoto shares with a chuckle.
Haruka sips a bit of his water and returns to poke at his mackerel. “Look who’s talking.”
Makoto tilts his head toward Haruka now. The shorter boy sighs.
“You’re one year older today, aren’t you?” Haruka says. “Happy Birthday.”
A sense of nostalgia swirls around inside Makoto’s chest. He never really looked forward to his birthday (he even forgot that it was coming up a few days ago) but Haruka somehow always remembered it. Though Haruka never pulled something as extravagant as a surprise party or even bought an expensive birthday present, Makoto found it enough from Haruka whenever he greeted him. Perhaps not in an excited, happy behavior that one usually uses to greet someone on their birthday but a greeting as a reminder like, “Hey. I remembered your birthday, oldie!” but in Haruka’s own special, simple way.
“Thanks, Haru.”
Haruka smiles his small smile.
After breakfast, Haruka asks Makoto to accompany him to the market to take care of a bit of a grocery list. Knowing Makoto, he’d do anything to help Haruka so they go to the store to buy food (mostly mackerel) and some juice powder and condiments. As they go around the store, Makoto suddenly remembers that it’s Miharu’s birthday the day after tomorrow. At the thought of that, Makoto also recalls what happened yesterday. No matter how much he tries not to think about it, it just naturally comes back to him.
“Haru.”
“Hm?”
“Did Miharu-chan tell you anything yesterday? Before she left?”
Haruka stares at a can of pineapples, inspecting it for its expiration date. He puts it back and tries another brand. Makoto feels uncomfortable about the abrupt silence.
“Haru-“
“I told you. She named a kitten.”
Makoto frowns a bit. “Aren’t you curious of why she left early?”
Haruka doesn’t answer.
A sigh escapes Makoto’s lips now as he and Haruka move to the aisle where snacks that Nagisa would probably eat are. It’s not that Haruka is insensitive but Makoto thinks that sometimes, Haruka can be too lax of his surroundings. Although Makoto is pretty much sure that Haruka’s capable of reading situations, it’s just that Haruka keeps to himself. Again, Makoto is used to this and he respects Haruka more than anyone else and he understands since they’ve been together for so long.
Maybe I’m reading into this too much.
Makoto shakes his head. “So what did she name the kitten?”
“Mika.”
“Mika?”
Haruka nods. “It’s the mi- from her name and the -ka from mine.”
To this, Makoto chuckles. “That’s cute, Haru.”
A bit of pink colors Haru’s cheeks then, even as he looks around the shelves of chips and dips.
“It was her idea…”
“Well, you don’t hate it, do you?”
Haruka pauses.
“I take that you like her idea then?”
“It’s okay.”
Makoto nods this time. “Mika.”
“It’s the white kitten you always play with,” Haruka informs. They’re on the way to the counter to pay now. Makoto pictures which kitten Haruka is talking about and remembers a bit later on their way back to the house. The morning air is fresh and cool, with the mild scent of the sea. Haruka gives the beach they pass by a longing stare and Makoto follows his gaze.
“Come to think of it, isn’t Miharu-chan’s birthday a day after tomorrow?” Makoto brings up.
“I guess it is.”
“What do you plan on doing then?” Makoto asks a bit excitedly. “If you need anything, me and the others can help you.”
Haruka stops and so does Makoto.
“Haru?”
Haruka’s staring straight into Makoto’s worried orbs.
Oh. He can see through me again.
“Makoto.”
The voice with which Haruka used to call Makoto just now somehow sends shivers up and down Makoto’s spine. Haruka’s eyes are gentle, as if they’re inviting Makoto to spill out whatever his doubts and feelings are then.
“You’re not yourself today,” Haruka says. “Is it because you’re getting old?”
Makoto’s nervousness crumbles as he laughs. “No, no. It’s not that. It’s just…”
“What is it?” Haruka asks. He shrugs after a second. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to talk about it.”
The waves crash at the shore behind Haruka and a bird’s cry echoes from somewhere in the distance.
“You like Miharu-chan, right? I don’t need to ask and you don’t need to tell me. I’ve known you for a long time. So long that I can even tell what you’re thinking about sometimes but…” Makoto hesitates. Something in his head is scolding him for his behavior but the look on Haruka’s face then calms him down, like how it always does. “I don’t know. I don’t want to force you but I’m actually not sure. I think you like her but Haru, you never really told me the truth.”
What did I just say? What am I doing? Is this what being old means? Becoming more curious? Wanting to know the truth to everything?
Makoto closes his eyes as he breathes in deeply.
“So you’re asking me if I like her?”
“N-No. It’s okay. You don’t have to answer that. Let’s just get back, okay?” Makoto stutters in panic, running a hand through his hair as he chuckles awkwardly. He turns around and starts to walk away from his embarrassment.
“Rin asked me the same thing…”
“What?”
Makoto turns around. Haruka’s eyes are fixed on the sea again.
“She understands the water. She swims in it without thinking of competitions or proper strokes. She swims just for fun.”
The clouds are drifting lazily in the bright Sunday sky. It almost seems like it’s a painting and Makoto, Haruka, the houses and the sea are all but there on some kind of easel. Their thoughts are colored by someone’s strokes and their feelings pulsate with that someone’s hues and artistry. Like they’re in a different world where it’s Makoto’s birthday and the sun is hidden by the fleeting cotton candy clumps just as Haruka’s being honest, his words coming out with colors that match his usually quiet voice.
“Why are you and Rin so curious…?”
“Why…”
Is it really curiosity? Is it? Or maybe…
“Makoto.”
Makoto looks at Haruka… And the reassuring smile on his face.
“I would never lie to you.”
All of a sudden, Miharu’s smiling face up on the rooftop from a few days back appears in Makoto’s mind then the times he, Miharu and Haruka would chat in the classroom about TV shows or sweets and then how Miharu left the previous day, without even saying a thing yet putting on a strong front instead…
I see. Everything’s clear now…
“Haru…”
What I’m feeling… Because of Haru and Miharu-chan…
“I’m sure she would’ve said something to you too,” Haruka says truthfully but even he isn’t sure because Miharu never did say anything to him. But Haruka can tell what his own feelings are lately. He finally knows.
Haru, who has always been with me for as long as I can remember and Miharu-chan, who has always shown me a smile… These two… I…
“You don’t have to worry anymore.”
I trust them. I trust Haru with everything. Even if I just met Miharu-chan, even if I haven’t known her for as long as I have with the others… She always saw me as her friend. She never gave me anything to worry about. She has always been strong… All by herself… So when I heard that something happened between these two, I somehow began to doubt something. That, because both of them never told me anything, I thought I was left in the dark. And Miharu-chan was surrounded by people who’ve known each other for some time already that, maybe… She felt like she didn’t belong with us. Perhaps because everyone was getting along well, Miharu-chan…
“Makoto.”
Makoto opens his eyes. He can’t remember when he had closed them but he’s looking down on the ground now.
“I-I’m sorry. I guess I have been worrying too much.”
“That’s just how you really are.”
Makoto looks up at Haruka. The smile on his face never left.
“You worry too much because you’re a nice person.”
A nice person… Is that really me? If I was really a nice person, Miharu-chan should’ve stayed longer with us. She was right beside me and yet I couldn’t tell what she was feeling. I-
“Thanks, Haru.”
“Stop blaming yourself.”
“Huh?”
Haruka sighs. “She said ‘thank you’ didn’t she?”
“S-She did…”
Haruka turns around and starts walking again. “Then she’s thankful to you and the others.”
Little by little, a smile creeps up to Makoto’s lips and he paces himself to catch up to Haruka then.
Miharu-chan is like another little sister to me. Could this be my ‘brother instincts’?
“Haru.”
“Hm?”
“Thank you. Really.”
Haruka nods. “Sure.”
Climbing up the stony stairs now, Makoto begins to chuckle.
“You know, you’re becoming more and more honest, Haru. Is it because of Miharu-chan?”
“Whatever.”
“Oh, Haru,” Makoto teases a bit.
Pausing right outside the front door, Haruka sighs deeply, as if he’s been holding his breath all this time.
“About her… I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Haru?”
Without saying anything more, Haruka slides the door open and goes inside. Makoto follows quietly until Nagisa and Gou surprise him with party poppers right before he could enter the living room with Haruka. Rin and Rei are seated at the table where a cake and a whole bunch of other snacks are prepared. Haruka goes to the kitchen to leave the groceries (he never really should’ve bought but did just so the others could set up) and returns to where the others are. And just like that, Makoto’s surprise birthday party begins.
As everyone keeps laughing and just plain old celebrating, Rin argues with himself in his head whether to talk to Haruka about Miharu or not. But seeing that it’s Makoto’s special day that day, he’d rather not cause any problems or misunderstandings so he lets it be for now.
I’ll just ask him some other time.
With the way Rin sort of frowns then, Haruka knows that he wants to talk and Haruka wants to as well but any kind of conversation can’t be as special as Makoto so, like Rin, he leaves the urge alone.
Monday rolls around. The sky is dark and the wind is terrifyingly cold. Haruka leaves the house early and sets to wait for Makoto outside his house. The small grave at the side is still there. Its patch of sand is the only one ridded of dead leaves. Haruka closes his eyes and bows his head for a short prayer.
“Haru?”
Haruka opens his eyes and greets Makoto with a small nod. The taller boy smiles warmly and they head to school like how they normally would. It must have been early because there are only a few students coming into the building. Because of the weather, perhaps they stayed at home or they’re just plain lazy to get up. Haruka doesn’t mind this one bit. They reach their room not long after they got their indoor shoes on and the first scene that welcomes them is an empty room, except for a sleeping Miharu in her seat.
“Miharu-chan always comes to school early, doesn’t she?” Makoto asks with a chuckle as he and Haruka walk to their own seats. Makoto leaves his things on his desk while Haruka settles down in his place, glancing out the window then on to Makoto, who walks over to Miharu’s side. Haruka sees Makoto taking a peak at Miharu’s sleeping face then he gestures to Haruka to come over. Haruka goes over reluctantly, hands deep in his pockets.
“What?”
“Look,” Makoto whispers, eyes pointing at Miharu.
Miharu has her arms folded on her desk, left cheek pressed against them and mouth slightly open as she breathes calmly. Her usually in-place bangs parts in the middle as one side falls to the left as her mid-long locks collect behind her, pooling at the table’s edge and some dangling right off of it. Haruka observes all of these and turns to Makoto with a look as if to say, “Why did you show me this?”
Makoto knows this reaction and smiles. “I thought you’d want to see her sleeping face one of these days so…”
Haruka shrugs and leaves the room. Makoto follows in a panic and he finds the two of them on the roof later on. As an apology, Makoto keeps silent as he watches Haruka stare into the distance, at the pool. It’s not that Makoto is teasing Haruka in any way but it just feels really new to him.
“Haru-chan.”
“I told you to cut off the -chan already.”
“I know, I know. Hey, Haru.”
Haruka takes in a lungful of air. It causes his throat to dry for a bit. Makoto smiles to himself.
“Shall we head back?”
Without uttering a reply, Haruka goes ahead and Makoto catches up to him. By the time they get back to the classroom, students have already arrived and they’ve gone to their own groups to chat and fool around. Haruka notices Miharu has woken up and surrounded by her friends. Miharu still looks sleepy as she rubs the sleep off her eyes while her friends chat about this and that, giggling and poking fun at each other. Miharu catches a glimpse of silhouettes at the corner of her eyes so she looks behind her, seeing Makoto and Haruka walking back to their seats. Makoto sees her and smiles in greeting. Haruka only glances at her and the moment he does so, Miharu’s cheeks start burning. She turns away.
“Haru-chan? What’s the matter?” one of her friends asks.
“Are you okay? Your cheeks are getting red,” another friend points out.
Miharu shakes her head in a bit of a panic. “Oh, don’t mind me! It’s just the weather and I’m sleepy.”
“You sure?”
Miharu pauses, remembering that her heart is beating uncontrollably and her ears are as hot as her cheeks now. She ends up smiling. “Definitely.”
Makoto looks at Haruka. He’s looking out the window now, bored. During lunch break, Miharu goes over to Makoto’s desk before him and Haruka leave to eat.
“Happy Birthday! Although I’m late by a day,” Miharu says, chuckling.
Makoto suddenly remembers that Miharu wasn’t at the surprise party the others held for him yesterday. He tries not to frown but…
“Makoto-kun?” Miharu calls with wonder. Haruka glances at the unusually quiet boy beside him.
“No… Thank you, Miharu-chan,” Makoto replies with his signature smile.
“Hasegawa-san! Some first years are looking for you!” one of the boys shouts to Miharu from the door. He steps aside and reveals Gou, Nagisa and Rei waiting.
“Oh! Haru-chan, Mako-chan! You guys are still here?” Nagisa calls to the boys as he steps inside without hesitation.
“Nagisa-kun!” Rei warns as he follows, aware of Makoto and Haruka’s classmates watching them curiously.
“What are you guys doing here?” Makoto asks, amused.
“Gou-chan wanted to talk to Miharu-chan,” Nagisa answers.
“Really?” Miharu looks at Gou, who’s still standing by the door. “Excuse me then.”
As Miharu makes her way to Gou then together disappearing down the hall, the other four boys climb up to the roof to have lunch.
“I wonder what they’re talking about,” Nagisa shares. He munches on his strawberry cream-filled bread while in wonder.
“It should be something unbeknownst to us males. Female matters are quite confusing,” Rei answers before he brings an eggroll to his mouth.
“We can just ask Gou-chan later, can’t we?” Makoto suggests.
Haruka just goes on enjoying his mackerel until the door opens and out comes Gou with a grin.
“Gou-chan! What did you and Miharu-chan talk about?” Nagisa asks excitedly. He gets up and rushes to Gou. They face their backs to the others and converse in secret, although the other three can hear Nagisa’s mumbles as he takes out his phone from his pocket and Gou’s giggling as she does the same.
“What are they doing…?” Makoto muses aloud, tilting his head to the side whilst watching the two giggling figures in front of them.
“I think I’d rather not know,” Rei replies.
Finally, the two ‘kids’ turn to the others, grins almost permanently plastered on their faces. This should be normal, really, if only they aren’t grinning at Haruka and just Haruka.
“Huh?” Haruka reacts, coolly and not the least bit bothered. Gou and Nagisa pocket their phones already.
Gou giggles. “I have to meet up with Amakata-sensei now,” she informs the others and then nudges Nagisa against his arm. “Take care of the rest, won’t you?”
“Aye aye, cap’n!” Nagisa responds with a salute. Gou exits the scene and Nagisa goes back to sit in front of Haruka.
Makoto finishes eating and wraps up his bento. “What was that all about?” he asks casually.
Nagisa takes out his phone again and types something, ending it with a press of a button and a grin. Makoto’s and Rei’s phones vibrate simultaneously in their pockets so they fish them out to read the message Nagisa sent. Haruka watches passively as Makoto’s and Rei’s faces contort to that of a confusing surprise and something else. He isn’t really sure.
“But this is…” Rei trails off. He composes himself and clears his throat with a cough or two. “Well, that certainly is quite essential.”
Makoto nods. “I’m glad Gou-chan had the chance to get it.”
“Right, right?” Nagisa comments while nodding. “Hey, Haru-chan. Did you bring your phone today, by any chance?”
“No.”
Nagisa’s shoulders sag. “Thought so…”
“You shouldn’t have asked,” Makoto says with pity.
Haruka doesn’t mind whatever it is that the others are hiding. He gets the feeling that Makoto will tell him later on, like he always does but if he doesn’t then Haruka would just forget all about it.
Classes end with teachers reminding them to study hard for the tests for the following week. Everyone else groans and shudders at the thought of studying but others get motivated because Christmas break is coming up and they could have their fun at last.
“See you tomorrow,” Miharu tells Makoto and Haruka on her way out. She’s going home with her friends today.
“See you,” Makoto replies on his and Haruka’s behalf.
Haruka and Makoto leave as well. They talk about nothing in particular as they walk home. Their conversation consists of swimming, the upcoming tests, notes and swimming again. Up until they reach their own homes, nothing was out of the ordinary. Haruka grills mackerel and prepares miso soup and eats dinner quietly. He washes the dishes and cups. Next on the list is a lengthy bath, which he takes meditatively and calmly. After he gets out and dressed, he takes another look at his and Makoto’s notes and studies quietly. Then the phone rings. Haruka checks the time and notices that it’s five minutes to midnight.
“Haru-chan?” Nagisa says on the other line.
“Why did you call?” Haruka asks.
“Do you have a pen and paper near you? I want you to write something down for me,” Nagisa requests with a chuckle.
“What?”
“It’s my new number! Write it down for me,” Nagisa playfully demands. “I was calling your cell earlier but you weren’t picking up so I figured I’d just call the main phone.”
Haruka gets a piece of paper from his notebook and a pencil. He gets back to the phone and listens quietly to Nagisa dictating a set of numbers then making sure Haruka listed them down correctly.
“Huh? It’s already midnight?” Nagisa wonders aloud. “Ah, Haru-chan! Don’t forget to greet Miharu-chan later on, okay?”
“Right…”
“Good night Haru-chan!” Nagisa greets. “Oh! Before I forget, give me call after I hang up, okay? So I could save your number. See you at school!”
The call ends. Haruka sighs as he returns to the room to fix his things then going up to his room with the piece of paper he used to note down Nagisa’s number. Haruka’s phone is flickering lightly on his bed. He takes it and checks what the blinking is about and finds that he missed three calls from Nagisa’s old number.
“He should’ve just used his new number…” Haruka mumbles upon sitting down on his bed. He dials the numbers Nagisa dictated to him and calls it, waiting for Nagisa to pick up.
Why would he get a new number?
The call goes through a few rings later…
“Hello?”
He didn’t…
Haruka doesn’t know what to say.
“Um… Who is this?”
“Hey…”
Silence.
“Nanase-kun?” Miharu asks in a whisper but her surprise is somehow evident.
“Nagisa said this is his new number…” Haruka says, trying not to be awkward. He’s failing, really.
So this is what Nagisa and the others were talking about, huh?
“Nagisa-kun did?” Miharu repeats. “I-I’m sorry if this bothered you, Nanase-kun. I’ll talk to Nagisa-kun tomorrow. He shouldn’t tease you like this.”
Judging by Miharu’s tone of voice then, perhaps she’s pouting and that’s why an image of her pouting at Makoto and Nagisa during some occasions flashes briefly.
“Nanase-kun?” Miharu calls after a moment of waiting for Haruka to speak.
Haruka suddenly remembers something.
“H-Happy Birthday…”
This time, Miharu is the one who doesn’t speak.
“Nagisa told me to greet you. It’s already midnight,” Haruka adds casually.
“Thank you, Nanase-kun. You’re the first one to greet me this year,” Miharu shares after her lack of response earlier. Her voice sounds like she’s smiling now.
“I see.”
“Yup! I’m happy.”
Happy…
“I’ll still talk to Nagisa-kun about his teasing you, don’t worry,” Miharu says as she accepts responsibility.
Haruka lowers his head. “You don’t have to. It’s fine…”
“I-Is that so? Alright then. If Nanase-kun says so.”
It’s midnight now, isn’t it?
“Did I wake you?”
Miharu shakes her head even if Haruka won’t see. “Not at all. I was playing a videogame.”
Haruka isn’t sure why but there’s a sense of relief in his chest. He sighs it all out.
“Good night then.”
“Good night.”
As he draws the phone away from his ear, Haruka hears Miharu talk again.
“Thank you, Nanase-kun.”
Then she hangs up. Haruka stares at his phone for a minute. He saves Miharu’s number, tosses his phone on his desk and lies down on his bed. Haruka sees Miharu in his dream that night. She’s sleeping while afloat in the water and he’s right next to her, just watching.
The morning later, Makoto greets Miharu as soon as he and Haruka see her in the hallway. Haruka greets her again and Miharu thanks them both. Before classes started, Nagisa pulls Gou and Rei to Makoto, Haruka and Miharu’s classroom.
“Happy Birthday!” the three chorus upon seeing Miharu chatting with Haruka and Makoto by Haruka’s desk. Miharu can’t stop herself from being embarrassed, accidentally smiling widely.
“Thank you so much, everyone,” she says sincerely. “Ah! Nagisa-kun!”
“Hm~? What is it, Miharu-chan?”
“You…” Miharu mumbles ominously, stepping closer to Nagisa who merely tilts his head in wonder.
“Oh! So Haru-chan really called you last night?” Nagisa teases upon realizing. He didn’t really believe Haruka would call Miharu simply because he said so but oh well.
“Haruka-senpai did?” Gou and Rei chorus.
“I didn’t know that,” Makoto says in disappointment, looking at Haruka. The quiet boy sighs.
“I told you,” Haruka tells Miharu. “You didn’t have to. It’s fine.”
“Besides, Miharu-chan, if I didn’t tell Haru-chan to call then he wouldn’t have ever known your number,” Nagisa informs with a puff of breath. Miharu’s chest suddenly tightens as realization hits her hard. She smiles at Nagisa sheepishly.
“Y-You’re right. I should thank you then,” Miharu replies. “Thank you, Nagisa-kun.”
Nagisa puffs his chest out proudly. Gou stares at Miharu. Boys probably wouldn’t notice so being a girl, Gou catches a sad glow to Miharu’s eyes, something only girls would know why that is so. The school bell rings which prompts Gou to drag Nagisa and Rei out of the room. They greet Miharu one last time then they leave. Miharu’s friends and her other classmates greet her as well. Amakata-sensei greets her too, after hearing the others. She tries to cite a famous saying of some sort but her students’ groans stop her and make her flustered.
“Hey, Haru-chan,” one of Miharu’s friends calls for her attention. They’re on lunch break now, wandering around the campus. Miharu seems to have spaced out.
“Huh?”
“You told us that you have someone you like, right?” the friend asks. “Have you confessed to him?”
Haruka pops into Miharu’s mind abruptly.
“Um, yeah…”
“Then you’re going out now?!” another friend exclaims. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“N-No. It’s not that…”
“What did he say when you confessed? I bet he was surprised!” the first friend comments.
Miharu remembers the first time she confessed to Haruka and his and Makoto’s stunned faces. But when she confessed to him the second time around, Haruka was calm and sincere. Miharu’s heart starts beating wildly at the thought.
“So? Have you guys gone on dates?”
“Maybe they’ve already kissed!”
“Don’t rush things! Haru-chan isn’t like that.”
“Who knows? What if the guy kissed her out of the blue? That would be so sweet!”
“That’s true. What if he does something special for Haru-chan today? An after school date?”
“Ooooh! That would be so romantic! C’mon, Haru-chan. Give us details!”
Miharu stops in place. Her friends turn around to see her looking down at the ground.
Nanase-kun and I…
“We haven’t done all of that. I…”
What Nagisa said earlier rings in Miharu’s head right then. The same painful sensation she felt earlier happens again.
“Wait. Did he reject you?!” the first friend shouts in surprise.
“N-No! I-I mean-“
“But Haru-chan, if he really liked you then he would’ve done all sorts of things for you by now. Right? If both of your feelings are mutual then you could’ve at least gone on one date or something,” the second friend explains solemnly.
“Haru-chan, you never told us who this guy is nor when you confessed to him or anything. What’s going on?” the other friend goes on worriedly. Miharu’s heart is breaking.
Nanase-kun never really gave me a straight answer. When he said he understood what I was feeling, I was just so relieved that I never thought of that as an answer. And whenever Nagisa-kun and the others tease us, it doesn’t feel right. Something was wrong. All this… Is everything I’ve felt and thought up until now one-sided? Everything… Am I the only one feeling like this?
Miharu feels like crying but she stops herself. Her throat goes dry and it’s as if her heart stopped beating. Something’s stuck in her throat. She doesn’t want to open her mouth to talk, fearing that the tears would gush out if she does.
“Haru-chan, tell us honestly. What’s going on?”
Miharu tries to swallow but she can’t. She breathes in deeply.
“I don’t know…”
The two friends look at one another then back at Miharu. They’re worried.
“Hey… Do you think you should’ve fallen in love some other time?”
What…
“Or rather, do you think you should’ve fallen in love with someone else? Someone who wouldn’t confuse you so much?”
What are they saying? Am I really confused? About Nanase-kun?
“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have said all those things. But Haru-chan, please tell us if something’s bothering you. That’s what friends are for. We help each other.”
“Let’s head back now, okay?”
Miharu nods. She follows her two friends back into the building. She doesn’t notice Makoto at the side but he sees her and wonders to himself if she’s okay. He makes his way up to the roof.
“Did you buy something?” Haruka asks from his spot on the floor. He’s carving another one of his Iwatobi-chan keychains.
Makoto shakes his head. “They didn’t have anything I’d like. Um…”
“Hm? What is it?”
“Are you and Miharu-chan okay?”
Haruka goes on carving. “Why are you asking that?”
“I saw her just now. She looked troubled… B-But I’m not saying that it’s your fault or anything. I just thought maybe you’d know something.”
“She was okay just a while ago.”
She never told me anything.
“Yeah, but…”
“Maybe it’s because it’s her birthday today.”
“She should be happy about that, right?” Makoto replies awkwardly. He sits in front of Haruka and watches him carve. “By the way, you called her last night?”
“Nagisa told me it was his new number and wanted me to call it. I didn’t know it was hers,” Haruka says with little interest.
“Wait. You haven’t asked for her number before?” Makoto bursts.
Haruka shakes his head. Makoto sighs. Haruka finishes carving and examines his work. Makoto gazes at the keychain.
“You should give that to her,” Makoto says as he points at the trinket, smiling.
Haruka looks at him. “I should?”
“Why not? You should get her something since it’s her birthday today.”
“Ah…”
Makoto chuckles. “I bet she’ll like it.”
Haruka nods to himself.
“Come to think of it… I never heard you say her name before, Haru. Do you call her by her first name?” Makoto teases. If Makoto didn’t mention this, Haruka would never have thought about it. He realizes that Makoto is right.
I never addressed her anything…
“Am I right?”
“No.”
“That’s too bad then.” Makoto laughs. Haruka looks at Iwatobi-chan on his hand. It’s staring right back at him.
Dismissal comes around soon enough. Makoto doesn’t see Miharu’s things on her desk nor is she in the room. He recognizes some of her friends are still there though.
“Miharu-chan must have left early,” Makoto tells Haruka on their way out. Haruka keeps silent.
“I’m going to the pool.”
“Okay then. Should I go with you?”
“It’s okay.”
Makoto nods and bids Haruka goodbye. Haruka makes his way to the pool and proves that his hunch is right. Miharu has her feet dipped in the freezing water. Her coat and school blazer lie folded next to her, her bag pinning them down. Haruka doesn’t know whether Miharu heard the door closing or if she’s just ignoring it but he goes over to her anyway.
“Hey.”
Haruka sees Miharu’s shoulders sag. She doesn’t turn to him at all.
“Hi.”
Haruka crouches down next to her. He looks at her feet becoming pale in the water.
“You’ll get cramps if you keep your feet there.”
“Nah. I’m used to it already.”
Haruka settles himself into an Indian-sit. He sets his bag beside him and peers into the pool.
“Nanase-kun…”
“Yeah?”
Miharu smiles sadly to herself.
Even if I told him… Would it change anything? Or will it make me more confused? The things they said earlier…
Haruka glances at Miharu. She’s shaking.
Miharu takes in a deep breath. “Nanase-kun-“
“Here.”
Just as Miharu turns to Haruka, Haruka holds out Iwatobi-chan right in front of her face. Miharu blinks. Haruka takes her hand and lets Iwatobi-chan rest there.
“Makoto said I should give it to you,” Haruka shares, looking away. “It’s your birthday after all…”
Miharu stares at Iwatobi-chan. She feels lighter now but she can’t help feeling uneasy.
“Thank you, Nanase-kun.”
“Sure…”
Iwatobi-chan is lying prettily on Miharu’s hand. She feels extremely happy that Haruka thought of giving her a present, with the help of Makoto of course.
I’m really, really happy…
“Miharu.”
The wind howls strongly. Miharu turns to Haruka again, surprised. Haruka looks at her blankly.
“I never called you anything, so…”
Miharu’s heart is racing like crazy she can almost cry. She shuts her eyes tightly.
So happy… Really, really happy…
“Should I add -chan?” Haruka asks. He’s aware that Miharu must have been shocked.
“I’m happy. Really. You called my name for the first time,” Miharu says. A tear escapes from her eye so she gasps and wipes it right away. Even so, the tears keep falling. Haruka is startled. He doesn’t know what to do. Iwatobi-chan is soaked in Miharu’s tears now.
If Makoto was here, what would he do? What would… Makoto… Ah. This is it, isn’t it? This is what Makoto has been worried about… Maybe even Rin too…
“I like you, Nanase-kun. I really do…” Miharu says in between sobs. Haruka’s chest is starting to hurt just by seeing her in this state.
If I would hurt her… If I would make her cry like this… This is it, isn’t it, Makoto? Rin?
Makoto’s worried expression and Rin’s offered words are lingering in Haruka’s mind now.
“Hey-“
“Should I have liked you some other time? Should I have confessed to you a little later? Would that change anything at all?” Miharu goes on brokenly against the back of her hands. “Would you have liked me by then?”
Haruka freezes in shock.
What is she saying? Why is she saying this?
“Or maybe… Should I have liked someone else? Then I wouldn’t have bothered you like this. I-“
Haruka grabs Miharu’s hands and holds them down. Iwatobi-chan gets crushed by these suddenly frigid hands. Miharu keeps her eyes closed and refuses to look at Haruka at all cost.
I’m so terrible. Why did I let him see me like this? This is horrible…
“I’m sorry. I’m okay now. I-“
“Stop lying to me.”
Miharu opens her eyes. Haruka’s ocean orbs are staring deeply into hers and she feels bare.
“I’ve never-“
“Never, because you never told me anything.”
I should set this right.
“What are you-“
“You say you like me but you don’t talk to me.”
“I talk to you!”
“When the others are around.”
“You’re the one who never told me anything! Anything. I don’t even know if we feel the same way!”
Ah… That’s it…
Haruka’s grip loosens.
“How can I tell you anything if I’m so confused? It’s my problem, I know-“
“It’s not.”
Miharu stares at Haruka. His eyes look so sad and sincere.
“It’s not your problem. You were never at fault.”
Miharu tries to laugh to somehow lighten the mood. She can’t handle matters too seriously.
“I’m sorry. I was rambling, wasn’t I? I’m sorry you had to put up with me, Nanase-kun. I must really be getting old, huh? I’m getting cranky,” Miharu says with a smile. Haruka glares at her.
“Why are you like that?” Haruka asks with a stern voice. “Just when you’re becoming honest, you take everything back. It’s annoying.”
“I’m sorry-“
“You annoy me. You talk to Makoto and the others normally. You say you like me yet you keep your distance. Are you just playing around with me?”
Miharu gasps. “Why would I-“
“You pop out of nowhere, tell me you like me and then suddenly shut everything to yourself. How can anyone do that?”
She’s not like the water. She doesn’t open up as easily as I swim in the water.
Miharu can’t say anything. She feels so embarrassed to have Haruka scolding her. Not because she’s being scolded, but because Haruka is pointing out the things she hasn’t noticed herself.
It’s frustrating…
“Even if you’re annoying, even if you don’t want to tell me what’s going on in your head…” Haruka goes on seriously, tightening his grip on Miharu’s wrists now. “At least be honest and tell me what I’m doing wrong.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong-“
“Then why are you being like this?”
It’s now or never, Miharu. Get it together!
Miharu makes up her mind.
“Nanase-kun, do you like me?”
Haruka pauses.
“See? If you don’t like me, then please tell me. I don’t want to-“
“You’re not like the water.”
Miharu looks down and shuts her eyes.
Here it comes!
“But I like you.”
Silence.
“What?”
“Don’t make me say it again.”
Miharu doesn’t know what to feel at all. Her heart just exploded from nervousness of possible rejection and too much relief and confusion.
“Nanase-kun-“
“Haru.”
“Not ‘Haruka’?”
Haruka glares at Miharu. The girl gets the courage to finally giggle.
“Haru, um…” Miharu starts as she holds up her wrists that Haruka is still gripping. The quiet boy lets go and looks away, cheeks evidently red.
“Sorry…”
“I’m sorry too.”
Haruka sighs. He brushes his finger against Miharu’s cheek to wipe the trail of tears there. Miharu doesn’t move and she doesn’t say but she’s flustered at what he’s doing and this pulls at his heart strings.
What have I gotten myself into?
Haruka pulls away and lets Miharu lift her feet up now and hug her legs. She holds out Iwatobi-chan in front of her eyes.
“My friends found out that even after I confessed to you, nothing else happened. They told me that couples should be lovey-dovey or at least, they should spend time together occasionally,” Miharu finally shares. “But I don’t mind not doing all of that. I actually think that it’s better if we don’t go that fast but then… I was thinking that, without even knowing how you really felt so I realized I didn’t have the right to think that way. And I didn’t want to come in between you and your friends. You’ve known them longer and, like you said, I just popped out of nowhere and confessed. That’s why when Gou-chan invited me to your house and I saw everyone having fun together and telling stories, I thought, ‘Ah. I shouldn’t be here.’ So you know, I was keen on not barging into your life even more than I already had.”
Haruka watches the calm ripples in the water.
“I’m sorry. I say my feelings toward someone just fine but I don’t know how to say what I’m really feeling inside. Kinda dumb, huh?” Miharu says with self-pity ringing in her chuckle. It’s true anyway.
“Maybe.”
Miharu laughs. “Is it really okay for me to call you ‘Haru’?”
Haruka nods.
“Um…”
Haruka turns to Miharu. She has her chin on her knees, cheeks red with obvious embarrassment. Haruka reaches out to pat her head.
She’s so warm…
Miharu lets Haruka stroke her hair for a while until he takes his hand back and scratches the back of his head as he sighs.
I like you, Miharu.
Haruka glances at Miharu and finds her staring at him with a smile.
“What is it?” Haruka asks curtly.
Miharu chuckles. “I’m happy.”
Haruka smiles a little to himself. “It’s your birthday. Of course you are.”
They ready themselves to go home. Miharu hooks Iwatobi-chan on her bag while Haruka starts toward the stairs. Miharu grabs Haruka’s hand so he turns around.
“What-“
Miharu kisses Haruka on the cheek. This, of course, makes Haruka freeze.
“Ah. Haru, I’m sorry! I didn’t-“
Haruka diverts his eyes to the side, avoiding eye-contact with Miharu. “It’s fine…” he mumbles.
Little by little, Miharu’s surprised expression is replaced by a sweet smile. Haruka holds her hand gently and leads the both of them down the stairs.
“Can I ask you something?”
Haruka and Miharu are walking out of the campus now. They’ve let go of their hands the moment they walked out the door to the pool. By reflex, really.
“Shoot.”
“So, um… Why are Nagisa-kun and the others helping you with me? I don’t want to sound like I’m anyone important but-“
“You’re the first girl to confess to me…” Haruka answers almost in a whisper that it’s obvious that he’s embarrassed to admit it.
Miharu gasps. “Are you serious?! And here I thought there were hundreds of girls who’ve had their hearts broken by you!”
“Stop exaggerating.”
“Sorry, sorry. But… Really?”
“Really.”
Miharu could feel her cheeks burning. Her heart is pounding so hard that she could hear it in her head. It’s funny.
Haruka’s hand brushes against Miharu’s and this startles them both just a bit. But almost naturally, Miharu hooks her pinky with Haruka’s own. Haruka glances at the little kid beside him. The smile that shines in front of his eyes washes over him like cherry blossoms dancing in the water.
Under the setting sun, Iwatobi-chan dances to the passing sea breeze.
Pairing: Nanase Haruka/OC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Haru-chan finally becomes honest.
Note: This is the third story after Coastline and Soup-Port.
“You two are like Mama and Papa.”
The water splashes as Miharu and Haruka take their hands back to the surface and they busy themselves with the rest of the washing. Nagisa has popped right behind them that it’s only natural to be startled.
“Nagisa-kun? What are you doing?” Rei questions in disbelief as he trudges behind the hyperactive boy, who now points at both Miharu and Haruka.
“Well, I was just thinking how they look like a Mama and a Papa right now.”
Rei’s face darkens toward Nagisa’s innocent imagination. While Nagisa beams at Rei’s bewildered expression, Makoto has decided to come over to pull them back to the meeting.
“What are you guys doing here?”
“Mako-chan!” Nagisa sings. “Miharu-chan and Haru-chan are playing house!”
Makoto’s eyebrows rise a bit in surprise. “They are?”
“It’s simply Nagisa-kun’s ridiculous imagination. Pay no mind to him, Haruka-senpai, Hasegawa-senpai,” Rei says to the two over his shoulder. He saunters back to the den, being asked what happened immediately by the Matsuoka siblings.
“Geez. At least my imagination still works! Right, Mako-chan?” Nagisa playfully remarks.
“Yes, yes. Now let’s leave Miharu-chan and Haru to finish the dishes,” Makoto stalls as he ushers Nagisa back to the group. “Do you need help drying off?”
“That’s okay! Thanks, Makoto-kun,” Miharu replies with the best ‘I-am-so-not-embarrassed’ impression she could ever pull off whilst carefully rubbing a plate. With a nod neither Haruka nor Miharu can see, Makoto returns to the others. Eventually, Haruka finishes his half and goes to get something from the fridge. Miharu doesn’t peek at what he’s doing so she focuses on drying the rest of the cups and bowls quietly. Hearing footsteps filing out of the kitchen, Miharu believes that Haruka has just gone somewhere. She sighs in relief.
How am I going to put up with this? I feel weird…
Just as she shuts her eyes tightly, something presses lightly against the back of her head. Right at that moment, Miharu hears more voices and footsteps rushing to somewhere far away.
“Bang.”
Miharu opens her eyes in slits, only the teensy view of the glass she’s holding invading her sight. Rin pulls his ‘gun’ (in the form of his index finger and thumb) back and pockets his hands.
“You done?”
Miharu shakes her head. Discreetly, she rushes the rinsing and wiping.
“Everyone went out to check the cats behind Haru’s house,” Rin informs dully. He looks around the kitchen as if he’s a cleanliness inspector. It’s just that, it has been a long time since he last saw Haruka’s kitchen and he didn’t expect to be in it with a girl who barely has any ties with Haruka himself.
‘Playing house’, Nagisa said… How fitting.
“Matsuoka-kun.”
“Yeah?”
Finally, Miharu finishes her share. She reaches out to pull the clog but stops.
“I don’t intend to come in between everyone and Nanase-kun. I just wanted you to know.”
Then the water gets flushed out…
“You really like Haru, don’t you, Miharu-san?” Rin replies with a bit of wonder. “Haru’s pretty lucky then.”
Miharu hesitates.
Guilt. Vulnerability. Weakness.
“Not at all…”
Rin’s eyes soften with the passing silence. He doesn’t know this girl and he’d rather not pry into matters where he isn’t needed. As a gentleman, Rin waits for Miharu and they go back to sit in the other room until their companions return. They don’t exchange words yet there are hundreds of questions spinning around in their minds.
“We’re back!” Nagisa announces.
“Where’s Haru?” Rin asks the moment he didn’t see the quiet boy enter with them.
Makoto chuckles. “He’s still feeding the cats. It won’t be long until he comes back though.”
“Miharu-senpai, are you leaving already?” Gou inquires upon seeing Miharu stand up. The shy girl nods shortly before smiling at Gou. Rin watches this passively.
“Aww! Did you just come here to eat, Miharu-chan?” Nagisa whines jokingly.
“Oi, Nagisa,” Rin calls in some kind of warning.
“I was joking! Geez, Rin-chan…”
“But Haruka-senpai is still outside,” Rei reminds.
Miharu nods again. “I’ll say goodbye to him on my way out. Um, thank you for today and I’m sorry for the trouble,” Miharu says then bows. She straightens up and waves at Gou on her way to the other hall. As soon as she puts her shoes on, Miharu takes in a long, deep breath and releases it.
Something is definitely wrong with me.
Miharu finally makes up her mind and slides the front door open, setting foot outside where the cool breeze brushes her hair back slightly and she breathes this same air in to somehow freeze whatever it is that’s wrong inside her.
I couldn’t even say goodbye to them properly…
“You…”
Miharu turns to the side where Haruka is standing with a small tin bowl in his hands and curiosity spread over his face. Miharu bows to him too.
“Thank you for today. I’m sorry for the trouble.”
“Did the meeting end already?”
“Ah. I don’t know. I’m not part of the club so I didn’t hear.”
Crap… Just now… I sounded so…!
“Did Rin say anything to you?”
“Huh?”
Haruka looks up at the torii overshadowing his house. The wind whistles with the smell of the ocean.
“It’s nothing.”
Miharu nods. “I’ll be on my way then. Excuse me.”
She makes her way down the stairs but before she could completely lose the sight and presence of Haruka’s house behind her, she spots a kitten sitting on one of the stony steps. She folds her skirt under herself as she crouches down to talk to it.
“Hey, kitty kitty. Are you lost?” Miharu whispers. The white kitten only meows, of course.
“Ah. There you are.”
Miharu doesn’t look. Haruka crouches down next to her to see the kitten. The little creature instantly rubs its head against Haruka’s hand, purring in delight.
“Does it have a name?” Miharu asks.
“No. It isn’t mine,” Haruka answers. He sets the tin bowl down so that the kitten can eat the leftover food. Miharu strokes her chin as she hums, thinking.
“I got it!”
Haruka turns to Miharu and the girl beams at him, much like how Nagisa does.
“Let’s call it Kami.”
“God?”
Miharu pauses. “Uh, right… Mika then!”
Haruka only stares. There’s a question in his eyes that Miharu somehow notices.
“Oh, well, we both have Haru in our names so I figured we can’t have another Haru or else we’d get mixed up with this cutie here,” Miharu explains as she pats the kitten’s head once. “So I took out the -ka from your name and the mi- from mine.”
Why?
“Since we’re both here to see this cutie, I thought it’d be okay to name it after ourselves,” Miharu adds with a chuckle, unknowingly answering the question in Haruka’s mind.
“I see…”
As the kitten eats and the two watch it, Miharu suddenly remembers something funny that it evokes giggles from her.
“Hey, Nanase-kun? It’s like we’re really playing house, huh?”
The kitten finishes eating and it promptly goes to rub its head against Miharu’s hand this time. This takes Miharu by surprise but she enjoys it, nonetheless. The corners of Haruka’s lips stretch only a teensy bit.
“Yeah.”
Meanwhile, inside the Nanase Residence, Gou is glaring at Rin from across the table.
“What is it, Gou?”
“You bullied Miharu-senpai, didn’t you?”
“Huh?”
“Rin-chan can be rude sometimes but I don’t think he’d lay a finger on such fragile girls!” Nagisa cuts in.
“I would never-“
“Then why did Miharu-senpai leave?”
“How should I know?”
“May I add the possibility that it may have been Haruka-senpai’s pineapple-mackerel?” Rei shares with a raised hand.
Silence.
“I doubt it! Miharu-chan didn’t look sick when she was eating it earlier. She was just quiet!” Nagisa argues as if he’s defending Haruka’s cooking.
Quiet… Maybe all this time Miharu-chan has been… Makoto ponders. A sad curve appears on his face.
“What is it, Makoto?” Rin calls, to which Makoto answers with a shake of his head.
The door slides closed behind him as Haruka enters into the room.
“Haruka-senpai, did you see Miharu-senpai outside?” Gou asks.
“Yeah.”
“And?” Rei urges. Haruka tilts his head in wonder.
“And?” Haruka repeats.
“Give up already. Who the heck would know why she left anyway?” Rin remarks with a tsk that obviously makes him sound irritated. Haruka catches up to the matter at hand whilst proceeding to the kitchen to return the bowl.
“She named a kitten.”
“Miharu-chan did?” Nagisa says. In the kitchen, Haruka nods to himself as he starts washing the tin bowl.
“See? She’s fine,” Rin declares with a shrug. “Hurry it up, Haru. Gou’s going to show you a list of regimen she had in mind.”
“Ah, r-right!” Gou stutters, scrambling to get pieces of papers from her bag.
Haruka lets the tap run water to wash the tiny pieces of mackerel skin stuck against the tin. Makoto observes Haruka’s quietness and tries - really hard - not to be bothered by it. It’s because Haruka’s usually quiet anyway and Makoto has gotten used to this since long ago but once upon a time, there wasn’t a Hasegawa Miharu during their carefree childhood days.
All the way in Samezuka Academy that evening, Rin jogs around the campus. By the time he gets back to the dorm, he meets his roommate in the hall.
“Welcome back, Matsuoka-senpai!” Nitori Aiichiro greets happily. Rin waves a little then goes back to wiping his sweat with a towel. “Is it cold outside?”
“What do you think?” Rin shots back. Ai somewhat feels offended but he takes it in just okay since he’s used to Rin’s behavior by then.
“Is something wrong, senpai?”
Rin grunts, leaving Ai as he makes his way back to their shared room.
Everything’s just PEACHY.
Once they get back to the room, Rin plops straight down on his bed and Ai stands at the side.
“Senpai, if something’s bothering you, you can tell me,” Ai tries worriedly. Rin sits up.
“Anything?”
Ai nods, fists up and tight with determination. “Yes, senpai. Anything!”
Rin crosses his arms over his chest, eyes shut as he contemplates whether he should really tell Ai what’s bothering him.
It’s not something we usually talk about. Actually, we never really talked about anything like that. And why the hell am I going to a freshman for advice?!
“Matsuoka-senpai?” Ai calls for the third time. Rin hasn’t been paying him any attention at all, being lost in his thoughts and whatnot.
“UGH!” Rin scratches his head wildly. Ai takes a step back as a precaution.
“Sen-“
“AI!”
“Y-Yes?!”
“If someone confessed to you, how would you react?!”
Ai blinks. “SOMEONE CONFESSED TO MATSUOKA-SENPAI?!”
“Just answer the question!”
BAM
“MATSUOKA!”
“C-Captain?!” Rin and Ai chorus in shock. Mikoshiba Seijuro enters the room, shoulders hunched, feet heavy and stomping, eyes glaring that Ai can’t stop himself from trembling. The captain stops in front of Rin’s bed with such menacingly huge eyes that Rin begins to feel uncomfortable.
“Matsuoka…”
“Y-Yeah?”
Unexpectedly, an impossibly bright and stupid grin stretches widely on the captain’s face and Rin can’t help but grind his teeth in utmost irritation.
“I heard Nitori just now. Someone confessed to you?” Seijuro teases. Rin turns to glare at Ai on the other side of the room.
“N-No, I mean… Matsuoka-senpai-“
“You’ve been hiding this all along huh, Matsuoka?” Seijuro goes on. “You could’ve gone to me if you needed tips about dating. I know all of that!”
Rin raises an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Whatever. I don’t need this crap. I’m going out.” He stands up and brushes by Seijuro on the way to the door.
“Even if it’s not about dating, you can always come to us, Matsuoka,” Seijuro says seriously with the smile of a capable captain on his calm face. Ai agrees as he nods. Rin ignores them and takes his leave but the words stay in his head. Instead of jogging again, Rin only walks. He takes in the night view of the campus he usually sees but never really paid mind to during his evening jogs. It’s fairly big, with trees almost everywhere he looks but there are no more leaves to hear rustle in the wind. They’re all on the ground, being trampled on by Rin on his way to the building where the indoor pool is. No one is there now since Seijuro himself is quite a strict person about curfew so Rin has the pool all to himself.
All to myself…
Rin looks down at the tranquil waters then. The night sky reflects on this natural mirror and Rin recalls his races with Haruka. The races he won then the races that Haruka won. Rin kneels down on one knee and touches the water with a finger.
Ripples, ripples, ripples…
If it’s just his finger that makes ripples in the water, what does it take to make Rin’s feelings waver? The night is long yet there is no answer.
The following morning, right after a huge breakfast, Makoto makes his way to Haruka’s house. But instead of going to the back door to get Haruka out of the bath, when he rings the doorbell, Haruka has already gotten dressed.
“What?” Haruka finally asks. Makoto has been smiling at him silly since they sat at the table.
“Nothing. I was just thinking how grown-up you are today, Haru,” Makoto shares with a chuckle.
Haruka sips a bit of his water and returns to poke at his mackerel. “Look who’s talking.”
Makoto tilts his head toward Haruka now. The shorter boy sighs.
“You’re one year older today, aren’t you?” Haruka says. “Happy Birthday.”
A sense of nostalgia swirls around inside Makoto’s chest. He never really looked forward to his birthday (he even forgot that it was coming up a few days ago) but Haruka somehow always remembered it. Though Haruka never pulled something as extravagant as a surprise party or even bought an expensive birthday present, Makoto found it enough from Haruka whenever he greeted him. Perhaps not in an excited, happy behavior that one usually uses to greet someone on their birthday but a greeting as a reminder like, “Hey. I remembered your birthday, oldie!” but in Haruka’s own special, simple way.
“Thanks, Haru.”
Haruka smiles his small smile.
After breakfast, Haruka asks Makoto to accompany him to the market to take care of a bit of a grocery list. Knowing Makoto, he’d do anything to help Haruka so they go to the store to buy food (mostly mackerel) and some juice powder and condiments. As they go around the store, Makoto suddenly remembers that it’s Miharu’s birthday the day after tomorrow. At the thought of that, Makoto also recalls what happened yesterday. No matter how much he tries not to think about it, it just naturally comes back to him.
“Haru.”
“Hm?”
“Did Miharu-chan tell you anything yesterday? Before she left?”
Haruka stares at a can of pineapples, inspecting it for its expiration date. He puts it back and tries another brand. Makoto feels uncomfortable about the abrupt silence.
“Haru-“
“I told you. She named a kitten.”
Makoto frowns a bit. “Aren’t you curious of why she left early?”
Haruka doesn’t answer.
A sigh escapes Makoto’s lips now as he and Haruka move to the aisle where snacks that Nagisa would probably eat are. It’s not that Haruka is insensitive but Makoto thinks that sometimes, Haruka can be too lax of his surroundings. Although Makoto is pretty much sure that Haruka’s capable of reading situations, it’s just that Haruka keeps to himself. Again, Makoto is used to this and he respects Haruka more than anyone else and he understands since they’ve been together for so long.
Maybe I’m reading into this too much.
Makoto shakes his head. “So what did she name the kitten?”
“Mika.”
“Mika?”
Haruka nods. “It’s the mi- from her name and the -ka from mine.”
To this, Makoto chuckles. “That’s cute, Haru.”
A bit of pink colors Haru’s cheeks then, even as he looks around the shelves of chips and dips.
“It was her idea…”
“Well, you don’t hate it, do you?”
Haruka pauses.
“I take that you like her idea then?”
“It’s okay.”
Makoto nods this time. “Mika.”
“It’s the white kitten you always play with,” Haruka informs. They’re on the way to the counter to pay now. Makoto pictures which kitten Haruka is talking about and remembers a bit later on their way back to the house. The morning air is fresh and cool, with the mild scent of the sea. Haruka gives the beach they pass by a longing stare and Makoto follows his gaze.
“Come to think of it, isn’t Miharu-chan’s birthday a day after tomorrow?” Makoto brings up.
“I guess it is.”
“What do you plan on doing then?” Makoto asks a bit excitedly. “If you need anything, me and the others can help you.”
Haruka stops and so does Makoto.
“Haru?”
Haruka’s staring straight into Makoto’s worried orbs.
Oh. He can see through me again.
“Makoto.”
The voice with which Haruka used to call Makoto just now somehow sends shivers up and down Makoto’s spine. Haruka’s eyes are gentle, as if they’re inviting Makoto to spill out whatever his doubts and feelings are then.
“You’re not yourself today,” Haruka says. “Is it because you’re getting old?”
Makoto’s nervousness crumbles as he laughs. “No, no. It’s not that. It’s just…”
“What is it?” Haruka asks. He shrugs after a second. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to talk about it.”
The waves crash at the shore behind Haruka and a bird’s cry echoes from somewhere in the distance.
“You like Miharu-chan, right? I don’t need to ask and you don’t need to tell me. I’ve known you for a long time. So long that I can even tell what you’re thinking about sometimes but…” Makoto hesitates. Something in his head is scolding him for his behavior but the look on Haruka’s face then calms him down, like how it always does. “I don’t know. I don’t want to force you but I’m actually not sure. I think you like her but Haru, you never really told me the truth.”
What did I just say? What am I doing? Is this what being old means? Becoming more curious? Wanting to know the truth to everything?
Makoto closes his eyes as he breathes in deeply.
“So you’re asking me if I like her?”
“N-No. It’s okay. You don’t have to answer that. Let’s just get back, okay?” Makoto stutters in panic, running a hand through his hair as he chuckles awkwardly. He turns around and starts to walk away from his embarrassment.
“Rin asked me the same thing…”
“What?”
Makoto turns around. Haruka’s eyes are fixed on the sea again.
“She understands the water. She swims in it without thinking of competitions or proper strokes. She swims just for fun.”
The clouds are drifting lazily in the bright Sunday sky. It almost seems like it’s a painting and Makoto, Haruka, the houses and the sea are all but there on some kind of easel. Their thoughts are colored by someone’s strokes and their feelings pulsate with that someone’s hues and artistry. Like they’re in a different world where it’s Makoto’s birthday and the sun is hidden by the fleeting cotton candy clumps just as Haruka’s being honest, his words coming out with colors that match his usually quiet voice.
“Why are you and Rin so curious…?”
“Why…”
Is it really curiosity? Is it? Or maybe…
“Makoto.”
Makoto looks at Haruka… And the reassuring smile on his face.
“I would never lie to you.”
All of a sudden, Miharu’s smiling face up on the rooftop from a few days back appears in Makoto’s mind then the times he, Miharu and Haruka would chat in the classroom about TV shows or sweets and then how Miharu left the previous day, without even saying a thing yet putting on a strong front instead…
I see. Everything’s clear now…
“Haru…”
What I’m feeling… Because of Haru and Miharu-chan…
“I’m sure she would’ve said something to you too,” Haruka says truthfully but even he isn’t sure because Miharu never did say anything to him. But Haruka can tell what his own feelings are lately. He finally knows.
Haru, who has always been with me for as long as I can remember and Miharu-chan, who has always shown me a smile… These two… I…
“You don’t have to worry anymore.”
I trust them. I trust Haru with everything. Even if I just met Miharu-chan, even if I haven’t known her for as long as I have with the others… She always saw me as her friend. She never gave me anything to worry about. She has always been strong… All by herself… So when I heard that something happened between these two, I somehow began to doubt something. That, because both of them never told me anything, I thought I was left in the dark. And Miharu-chan was surrounded by people who’ve known each other for some time already that, maybe… She felt like she didn’t belong with us. Perhaps because everyone was getting along well, Miharu-chan…
“Makoto.”
Makoto opens his eyes. He can’t remember when he had closed them but he’s looking down on the ground now.
“I-I’m sorry. I guess I have been worrying too much.”
“That’s just how you really are.”
Makoto looks up at Haruka. The smile on his face never left.
“You worry too much because you’re a nice person.”
A nice person… Is that really me? If I was really a nice person, Miharu-chan should’ve stayed longer with us. She was right beside me and yet I couldn’t tell what she was feeling. I-
“Thanks, Haru.”
“Stop blaming yourself.”
“Huh?”
Haruka sighs. “She said ‘thank you’ didn’t she?”
“S-She did…”
Haruka turns around and starts walking again. “Then she’s thankful to you and the others.”
Little by little, a smile creeps up to Makoto’s lips and he paces himself to catch up to Haruka then.
Miharu-chan is like another little sister to me. Could this be my ‘brother instincts’?
“Haru.”
“Hm?”
“Thank you. Really.”
Haruka nods. “Sure.”
Climbing up the stony stairs now, Makoto begins to chuckle.
“You know, you’re becoming more and more honest, Haru. Is it because of Miharu-chan?”
“Whatever.”
“Oh, Haru,” Makoto teases a bit.
Pausing right outside the front door, Haruka sighs deeply, as if he’s been holding his breath all this time.
“About her… I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Haru?”
Without saying anything more, Haruka slides the door open and goes inside. Makoto follows quietly until Nagisa and Gou surprise him with party poppers right before he could enter the living room with Haruka. Rin and Rei are seated at the table where a cake and a whole bunch of other snacks are prepared. Haruka goes to the kitchen to leave the groceries (he never really should’ve bought but did just so the others could set up) and returns to where the others are. And just like that, Makoto’s surprise birthday party begins.
As everyone keeps laughing and just plain old celebrating, Rin argues with himself in his head whether to talk to Haruka about Miharu or not. But seeing that it’s Makoto’s special day that day, he’d rather not cause any problems or misunderstandings so he lets it be for now.
I’ll just ask him some other time.
With the way Rin sort of frowns then, Haruka knows that he wants to talk and Haruka wants to as well but any kind of conversation can’t be as special as Makoto so, like Rin, he leaves the urge alone.
Monday rolls around. The sky is dark and the wind is terrifyingly cold. Haruka leaves the house early and sets to wait for Makoto outside his house. The small grave at the side is still there. Its patch of sand is the only one ridded of dead leaves. Haruka closes his eyes and bows his head for a short prayer.
“Haru?”
Haruka opens his eyes and greets Makoto with a small nod. The taller boy smiles warmly and they head to school like how they normally would. It must have been early because there are only a few students coming into the building. Because of the weather, perhaps they stayed at home or they’re just plain lazy to get up. Haruka doesn’t mind this one bit. They reach their room not long after they got their indoor shoes on and the first scene that welcomes them is an empty room, except for a sleeping Miharu in her seat.
“Miharu-chan always comes to school early, doesn’t she?” Makoto asks with a chuckle as he and Haruka walk to their own seats. Makoto leaves his things on his desk while Haruka settles down in his place, glancing out the window then on to Makoto, who walks over to Miharu’s side. Haruka sees Makoto taking a peak at Miharu’s sleeping face then he gestures to Haruka to come over. Haruka goes over reluctantly, hands deep in his pockets.
“What?”
“Look,” Makoto whispers, eyes pointing at Miharu.
Miharu has her arms folded on her desk, left cheek pressed against them and mouth slightly open as she breathes calmly. Her usually in-place bangs parts in the middle as one side falls to the left as her mid-long locks collect behind her, pooling at the table’s edge and some dangling right off of it. Haruka observes all of these and turns to Makoto with a look as if to say, “Why did you show me this?”
Makoto knows this reaction and smiles. “I thought you’d want to see her sleeping face one of these days so…”
Haruka shrugs and leaves the room. Makoto follows in a panic and he finds the two of them on the roof later on. As an apology, Makoto keeps silent as he watches Haruka stare into the distance, at the pool. It’s not that Makoto is teasing Haruka in any way but it just feels really new to him.
“Haru-chan.”
“I told you to cut off the -chan already.”
“I know, I know. Hey, Haru.”
Haruka takes in a lungful of air. It causes his throat to dry for a bit. Makoto smiles to himself.
“Shall we head back?”
Without uttering a reply, Haruka goes ahead and Makoto catches up to him. By the time they get back to the classroom, students have already arrived and they’ve gone to their own groups to chat and fool around. Haruka notices Miharu has woken up and surrounded by her friends. Miharu still looks sleepy as she rubs the sleep off her eyes while her friends chat about this and that, giggling and poking fun at each other. Miharu catches a glimpse of silhouettes at the corner of her eyes so she looks behind her, seeing Makoto and Haruka walking back to their seats. Makoto sees her and smiles in greeting. Haruka only glances at her and the moment he does so, Miharu’s cheeks start burning. She turns away.
“Haru-chan? What’s the matter?” one of her friends asks.
“Are you okay? Your cheeks are getting red,” another friend points out.
Miharu shakes her head in a bit of a panic. “Oh, don’t mind me! It’s just the weather and I’m sleepy.”
“You sure?”
Miharu pauses, remembering that her heart is beating uncontrollably and her ears are as hot as her cheeks now. She ends up smiling. “Definitely.”
Makoto looks at Haruka. He’s looking out the window now, bored. During lunch break, Miharu goes over to Makoto’s desk before him and Haruka leave to eat.
“Happy Birthday! Although I’m late by a day,” Miharu says, chuckling.
Makoto suddenly remembers that Miharu wasn’t at the surprise party the others held for him yesterday. He tries not to frown but…
“Makoto-kun?” Miharu calls with wonder. Haruka glances at the unusually quiet boy beside him.
“No… Thank you, Miharu-chan,” Makoto replies with his signature smile.
“Hasegawa-san! Some first years are looking for you!” one of the boys shouts to Miharu from the door. He steps aside and reveals Gou, Nagisa and Rei waiting.
“Oh! Haru-chan, Mako-chan! You guys are still here?” Nagisa calls to the boys as he steps inside without hesitation.
“Nagisa-kun!” Rei warns as he follows, aware of Makoto and Haruka’s classmates watching them curiously.
“What are you guys doing here?” Makoto asks, amused.
“Gou-chan wanted to talk to Miharu-chan,” Nagisa answers.
“Really?” Miharu looks at Gou, who’s still standing by the door. “Excuse me then.”
As Miharu makes her way to Gou then together disappearing down the hall, the other four boys climb up to the roof to have lunch.
“I wonder what they’re talking about,” Nagisa shares. He munches on his strawberry cream-filled bread while in wonder.
“It should be something unbeknownst to us males. Female matters are quite confusing,” Rei answers before he brings an eggroll to his mouth.
“We can just ask Gou-chan later, can’t we?” Makoto suggests.
Haruka just goes on enjoying his mackerel until the door opens and out comes Gou with a grin.
“Gou-chan! What did you and Miharu-chan talk about?” Nagisa asks excitedly. He gets up and rushes to Gou. They face their backs to the others and converse in secret, although the other three can hear Nagisa’s mumbles as he takes out his phone from his pocket and Gou’s giggling as she does the same.
“What are they doing…?” Makoto muses aloud, tilting his head to the side whilst watching the two giggling figures in front of them.
“I think I’d rather not know,” Rei replies.
Finally, the two ‘kids’ turn to the others, grins almost permanently plastered on their faces. This should be normal, really, if only they aren’t grinning at Haruka and just Haruka.
“Huh?” Haruka reacts, coolly and not the least bit bothered. Gou and Nagisa pocket their phones already.
Gou giggles. “I have to meet up with Amakata-sensei now,” she informs the others and then nudges Nagisa against his arm. “Take care of the rest, won’t you?”
“Aye aye, cap’n!” Nagisa responds with a salute. Gou exits the scene and Nagisa goes back to sit in front of Haruka.
Makoto finishes eating and wraps up his bento. “What was that all about?” he asks casually.
Nagisa takes out his phone again and types something, ending it with a press of a button and a grin. Makoto’s and Rei’s phones vibrate simultaneously in their pockets so they fish them out to read the message Nagisa sent. Haruka watches passively as Makoto’s and Rei’s faces contort to that of a confusing surprise and something else. He isn’t really sure.
“But this is…” Rei trails off. He composes himself and clears his throat with a cough or two. “Well, that certainly is quite essential.”
Makoto nods. “I’m glad Gou-chan had the chance to get it.”
“Right, right?” Nagisa comments while nodding. “Hey, Haru-chan. Did you bring your phone today, by any chance?”
“No.”
Nagisa’s shoulders sag. “Thought so…”
“You shouldn’t have asked,” Makoto says with pity.
Haruka doesn’t mind whatever it is that the others are hiding. He gets the feeling that Makoto will tell him later on, like he always does but if he doesn’t then Haruka would just forget all about it.
Classes end with teachers reminding them to study hard for the tests for the following week. Everyone else groans and shudders at the thought of studying but others get motivated because Christmas break is coming up and they could have their fun at last.
“See you tomorrow,” Miharu tells Makoto and Haruka on her way out. She’s going home with her friends today.
“See you,” Makoto replies on his and Haruka’s behalf.
Haruka and Makoto leave as well. They talk about nothing in particular as they walk home. Their conversation consists of swimming, the upcoming tests, notes and swimming again. Up until they reach their own homes, nothing was out of the ordinary. Haruka grills mackerel and prepares miso soup and eats dinner quietly. He washes the dishes and cups. Next on the list is a lengthy bath, which he takes meditatively and calmly. After he gets out and dressed, he takes another look at his and Makoto’s notes and studies quietly. Then the phone rings. Haruka checks the time and notices that it’s five minutes to midnight.
“Haru-chan?” Nagisa says on the other line.
“Why did you call?” Haruka asks.
“Do you have a pen and paper near you? I want you to write something down for me,” Nagisa requests with a chuckle.
“What?”
“It’s my new number! Write it down for me,” Nagisa playfully demands. “I was calling your cell earlier but you weren’t picking up so I figured I’d just call the main phone.”
Haruka gets a piece of paper from his notebook and a pencil. He gets back to the phone and listens quietly to Nagisa dictating a set of numbers then making sure Haruka listed them down correctly.
“Huh? It’s already midnight?” Nagisa wonders aloud. “Ah, Haru-chan! Don’t forget to greet Miharu-chan later on, okay?”
“Right…”
“Good night Haru-chan!” Nagisa greets. “Oh! Before I forget, give me call after I hang up, okay? So I could save your number. See you at school!”
The call ends. Haruka sighs as he returns to the room to fix his things then going up to his room with the piece of paper he used to note down Nagisa’s number. Haruka’s phone is flickering lightly on his bed. He takes it and checks what the blinking is about and finds that he missed three calls from Nagisa’s old number.
“He should’ve just used his new number…” Haruka mumbles upon sitting down on his bed. He dials the numbers Nagisa dictated to him and calls it, waiting for Nagisa to pick up.
Why would he get a new number?
The call goes through a few rings later…
“Hello?”
He didn’t…
Haruka doesn’t know what to say.
“Um… Who is this?”
“Hey…”
Silence.
“Nanase-kun?” Miharu asks in a whisper but her surprise is somehow evident.
“Nagisa said this is his new number…” Haruka says, trying not to be awkward. He’s failing, really.
So this is what Nagisa and the others were talking about, huh?
“Nagisa-kun did?” Miharu repeats. “I-I’m sorry if this bothered you, Nanase-kun. I’ll talk to Nagisa-kun tomorrow. He shouldn’t tease you like this.”
Judging by Miharu’s tone of voice then, perhaps she’s pouting and that’s why an image of her pouting at Makoto and Nagisa during some occasions flashes briefly.
“Nanase-kun?” Miharu calls after a moment of waiting for Haruka to speak.
Haruka suddenly remembers something.
“H-Happy Birthday…”
This time, Miharu is the one who doesn’t speak.
“Nagisa told me to greet you. It’s already midnight,” Haruka adds casually.
“Thank you, Nanase-kun. You’re the first one to greet me this year,” Miharu shares after her lack of response earlier. Her voice sounds like she’s smiling now.
“I see.”
“Yup! I’m happy.”
Happy…
“I’ll still talk to Nagisa-kun about his teasing you, don’t worry,” Miharu says as she accepts responsibility.
Haruka lowers his head. “You don’t have to. It’s fine…”
“I-Is that so? Alright then. If Nanase-kun says so.”
It’s midnight now, isn’t it?
“Did I wake you?”
Miharu shakes her head even if Haruka won’t see. “Not at all. I was playing a videogame.”
Haruka isn’t sure why but there’s a sense of relief in his chest. He sighs it all out.
“Good night then.”
“Good night.”
As he draws the phone away from his ear, Haruka hears Miharu talk again.
“Thank you, Nanase-kun.”
Then she hangs up. Haruka stares at his phone for a minute. He saves Miharu’s number, tosses his phone on his desk and lies down on his bed. Haruka sees Miharu in his dream that night. She’s sleeping while afloat in the water and he’s right next to her, just watching.
The morning later, Makoto greets Miharu as soon as he and Haruka see her in the hallway. Haruka greets her again and Miharu thanks them both. Before classes started, Nagisa pulls Gou and Rei to Makoto, Haruka and Miharu’s classroom.
“Happy Birthday!” the three chorus upon seeing Miharu chatting with Haruka and Makoto by Haruka’s desk. Miharu can’t stop herself from being embarrassed, accidentally smiling widely.
“Thank you so much, everyone,” she says sincerely. “Ah! Nagisa-kun!”
“Hm~? What is it, Miharu-chan?”
“You…” Miharu mumbles ominously, stepping closer to Nagisa who merely tilts his head in wonder.
“Oh! So Haru-chan really called you last night?” Nagisa teases upon realizing. He didn’t really believe Haruka would call Miharu simply because he said so but oh well.
“Haruka-senpai did?” Gou and Rei chorus.
“I didn’t know that,” Makoto says in disappointment, looking at Haruka. The quiet boy sighs.
“I told you,” Haruka tells Miharu. “You didn’t have to. It’s fine.”
“Besides, Miharu-chan, if I didn’t tell Haru-chan to call then he wouldn’t have ever known your number,” Nagisa informs with a puff of breath. Miharu’s chest suddenly tightens as realization hits her hard. She smiles at Nagisa sheepishly.
“Y-You’re right. I should thank you then,” Miharu replies. “Thank you, Nagisa-kun.”
Nagisa puffs his chest out proudly. Gou stares at Miharu. Boys probably wouldn’t notice so being a girl, Gou catches a sad glow to Miharu’s eyes, something only girls would know why that is so. The school bell rings which prompts Gou to drag Nagisa and Rei out of the room. They greet Miharu one last time then they leave. Miharu’s friends and her other classmates greet her as well. Amakata-sensei greets her too, after hearing the others. She tries to cite a famous saying of some sort but her students’ groans stop her and make her flustered.
“Hey, Haru-chan,” one of Miharu’s friends calls for her attention. They’re on lunch break now, wandering around the campus. Miharu seems to have spaced out.
“Huh?”
“You told us that you have someone you like, right?” the friend asks. “Have you confessed to him?”
Haruka pops into Miharu’s mind abruptly.
“Um, yeah…”
“Then you’re going out now?!” another friend exclaims. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“N-No. It’s not that…”
“What did he say when you confessed? I bet he was surprised!” the first friend comments.
Miharu remembers the first time she confessed to Haruka and his and Makoto’s stunned faces. But when she confessed to him the second time around, Haruka was calm and sincere. Miharu’s heart starts beating wildly at the thought.
“So? Have you guys gone on dates?”
“Maybe they’ve already kissed!”
“Don’t rush things! Haru-chan isn’t like that.”
“Who knows? What if the guy kissed her out of the blue? That would be so sweet!”
“That’s true. What if he does something special for Haru-chan today? An after school date?”
“Ooooh! That would be so romantic! C’mon, Haru-chan. Give us details!”
Miharu stops in place. Her friends turn around to see her looking down at the ground.
Nanase-kun and I…
“We haven’t done all of that. I…”
What Nagisa said earlier rings in Miharu’s head right then. The same painful sensation she felt earlier happens again.
“Wait. Did he reject you?!” the first friend shouts in surprise.
“N-No! I-I mean-“
“But Haru-chan, if he really liked you then he would’ve done all sorts of things for you by now. Right? If both of your feelings are mutual then you could’ve at least gone on one date or something,” the second friend explains solemnly.
“Haru-chan, you never told us who this guy is nor when you confessed to him or anything. What’s going on?” the other friend goes on worriedly. Miharu’s heart is breaking.
Nanase-kun never really gave me a straight answer. When he said he understood what I was feeling, I was just so relieved that I never thought of that as an answer. And whenever Nagisa-kun and the others tease us, it doesn’t feel right. Something was wrong. All this… Is everything I’ve felt and thought up until now one-sided? Everything… Am I the only one feeling like this?
Miharu feels like crying but she stops herself. Her throat goes dry and it’s as if her heart stopped beating. Something’s stuck in her throat. She doesn’t want to open her mouth to talk, fearing that the tears would gush out if she does.
“Haru-chan, tell us honestly. What’s going on?”
Miharu tries to swallow but she can’t. She breathes in deeply.
“I don’t know…”
The two friends look at one another then back at Miharu. They’re worried.
“Hey… Do you think you should’ve fallen in love some other time?”
What…
“Or rather, do you think you should’ve fallen in love with someone else? Someone who wouldn’t confuse you so much?”
What are they saying? Am I really confused? About Nanase-kun?
“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have said all those things. But Haru-chan, please tell us if something’s bothering you. That’s what friends are for. We help each other.”
“Let’s head back now, okay?”
Miharu nods. She follows her two friends back into the building. She doesn’t notice Makoto at the side but he sees her and wonders to himself if she’s okay. He makes his way up to the roof.
“Did you buy something?” Haruka asks from his spot on the floor. He’s carving another one of his Iwatobi-chan keychains.
Makoto shakes his head. “They didn’t have anything I’d like. Um…”
“Hm? What is it?”
“Are you and Miharu-chan okay?”
Haruka goes on carving. “Why are you asking that?”
“I saw her just now. She looked troubled… B-But I’m not saying that it’s your fault or anything. I just thought maybe you’d know something.”
“She was okay just a while ago.”
She never told me anything.
“Yeah, but…”
“Maybe it’s because it’s her birthday today.”
“She should be happy about that, right?” Makoto replies awkwardly. He sits in front of Haruka and watches him carve. “By the way, you called her last night?”
“Nagisa told me it was his new number and wanted me to call it. I didn’t know it was hers,” Haruka says with little interest.
“Wait. You haven’t asked for her number before?” Makoto bursts.
Haruka shakes his head. Makoto sighs. Haruka finishes carving and examines his work. Makoto gazes at the keychain.
“You should give that to her,” Makoto says as he points at the trinket, smiling.
Haruka looks at him. “I should?”
“Why not? You should get her something since it’s her birthday today.”
“Ah…”
Makoto chuckles. “I bet she’ll like it.”
Haruka nods to himself.
“Come to think of it… I never heard you say her name before, Haru. Do you call her by her first name?” Makoto teases. If Makoto didn’t mention this, Haruka would never have thought about it. He realizes that Makoto is right.
I never addressed her anything…
“Am I right?”
“No.”
“That’s too bad then.” Makoto laughs. Haruka looks at Iwatobi-chan on his hand. It’s staring right back at him.
Dismissal comes around soon enough. Makoto doesn’t see Miharu’s things on her desk nor is she in the room. He recognizes some of her friends are still there though.
“Miharu-chan must have left early,” Makoto tells Haruka on their way out. Haruka keeps silent.
“I’m going to the pool.”
“Okay then. Should I go with you?”
“It’s okay.”
Makoto nods and bids Haruka goodbye. Haruka makes his way to the pool and proves that his hunch is right. Miharu has her feet dipped in the freezing water. Her coat and school blazer lie folded next to her, her bag pinning them down. Haruka doesn’t know whether Miharu heard the door closing or if she’s just ignoring it but he goes over to her anyway.
“Hey.”
Haruka sees Miharu’s shoulders sag. She doesn’t turn to him at all.
“Hi.”
Haruka crouches down next to her. He looks at her feet becoming pale in the water.
“You’ll get cramps if you keep your feet there.”
“Nah. I’m used to it already.”
Haruka settles himself into an Indian-sit. He sets his bag beside him and peers into the pool.
“Nanase-kun…”
“Yeah?”
Miharu smiles sadly to herself.
Even if I told him… Would it change anything? Or will it make me more confused? The things they said earlier…
Haruka glances at Miharu. She’s shaking.
Miharu takes in a deep breath. “Nanase-kun-“
“Here.”
Just as Miharu turns to Haruka, Haruka holds out Iwatobi-chan right in front of her face. Miharu blinks. Haruka takes her hand and lets Iwatobi-chan rest there.
“Makoto said I should give it to you,” Haruka shares, looking away. “It’s your birthday after all…”
Miharu stares at Iwatobi-chan. She feels lighter now but she can’t help feeling uneasy.
“Thank you, Nanase-kun.”
“Sure…”
Iwatobi-chan is lying prettily on Miharu’s hand. She feels extremely happy that Haruka thought of giving her a present, with the help of Makoto of course.
I’m really, really happy…
“Miharu.”
The wind howls strongly. Miharu turns to Haruka again, surprised. Haruka looks at her blankly.
“I never called you anything, so…”
Miharu’s heart is racing like crazy she can almost cry. She shuts her eyes tightly.
So happy… Really, really happy…
“Should I add -chan?” Haruka asks. He’s aware that Miharu must have been shocked.
“I’m happy. Really. You called my name for the first time,” Miharu says. A tear escapes from her eye so she gasps and wipes it right away. Even so, the tears keep falling. Haruka is startled. He doesn’t know what to do. Iwatobi-chan is soaked in Miharu’s tears now.
If Makoto was here, what would he do? What would… Makoto… Ah. This is it, isn’t it? This is what Makoto has been worried about… Maybe even Rin too…
“I like you, Nanase-kun. I really do…” Miharu says in between sobs. Haruka’s chest is starting to hurt just by seeing her in this state.
If I would hurt her… If I would make her cry like this… This is it, isn’t it, Makoto? Rin?
Makoto’s worried expression and Rin’s offered words are lingering in Haruka’s mind now.
“Hey-“
“Should I have liked you some other time? Should I have confessed to you a little later? Would that change anything at all?” Miharu goes on brokenly against the back of her hands. “Would you have liked me by then?”
Haruka freezes in shock.
What is she saying? Why is she saying this?
“Or maybe… Should I have liked someone else? Then I wouldn’t have bothered you like this. I-“
Haruka grabs Miharu’s hands and holds them down. Iwatobi-chan gets crushed by these suddenly frigid hands. Miharu keeps her eyes closed and refuses to look at Haruka at all cost.
I’m so terrible. Why did I let him see me like this? This is horrible…
“I’m sorry. I’m okay now. I-“
“Stop lying to me.”
Miharu opens her eyes. Haruka’s ocean orbs are staring deeply into hers and she feels bare.
“I’ve never-“
“Never, because you never told me anything.”
I should set this right.
“What are you-“
“You say you like me but you don’t talk to me.”
“I talk to you!”
“When the others are around.”
“You’re the one who never told me anything! Anything. I don’t even know if we feel the same way!”
Ah… That’s it…
Haruka’s grip loosens.
“How can I tell you anything if I’m so confused? It’s my problem, I know-“
“It’s not.”
Miharu stares at Haruka. His eyes look so sad and sincere.
“It’s not your problem. You were never at fault.”
Miharu tries to laugh to somehow lighten the mood. She can’t handle matters too seriously.
“I’m sorry. I was rambling, wasn’t I? I’m sorry you had to put up with me, Nanase-kun. I must really be getting old, huh? I’m getting cranky,” Miharu says with a smile. Haruka glares at her.
“Why are you like that?” Haruka asks with a stern voice. “Just when you’re becoming honest, you take everything back. It’s annoying.”
“I’m sorry-“
“You annoy me. You talk to Makoto and the others normally. You say you like me yet you keep your distance. Are you just playing around with me?”
Miharu gasps. “Why would I-“
“You pop out of nowhere, tell me you like me and then suddenly shut everything to yourself. How can anyone do that?”
She’s not like the water. She doesn’t open up as easily as I swim in the water.
Miharu can’t say anything. She feels so embarrassed to have Haruka scolding her. Not because she’s being scolded, but because Haruka is pointing out the things she hasn’t noticed herself.
It’s frustrating…
“Even if you’re annoying, even if you don’t want to tell me what’s going on in your head…” Haruka goes on seriously, tightening his grip on Miharu’s wrists now. “At least be honest and tell me what I’m doing wrong.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong-“
“Then why are you being like this?”
It’s now or never, Miharu. Get it together!
Miharu makes up her mind.
“Nanase-kun, do you like me?”
Haruka pauses.
“See? If you don’t like me, then please tell me. I don’t want to-“
“You’re not like the water.”
Miharu looks down and shuts her eyes.
Here it comes!
“But I like you.”
Silence.
“What?”
“Don’t make me say it again.”
Miharu doesn’t know what to feel at all. Her heart just exploded from nervousness of possible rejection and too much relief and confusion.
“Nanase-kun-“
“Haru.”
“Not ‘Haruka’?”
Haruka glares at Miharu. The girl gets the courage to finally giggle.
“Haru, um…” Miharu starts as she holds up her wrists that Haruka is still gripping. The quiet boy lets go and looks away, cheeks evidently red.
“Sorry…”
“I’m sorry too.”
Haruka sighs. He brushes his finger against Miharu’s cheek to wipe the trail of tears there. Miharu doesn’t move and she doesn’t say but she’s flustered at what he’s doing and this pulls at his heart strings.
What have I gotten myself into?
Haruka pulls away and lets Miharu lift her feet up now and hug her legs. She holds out Iwatobi-chan in front of her eyes.
“My friends found out that even after I confessed to you, nothing else happened. They told me that couples should be lovey-dovey or at least, they should spend time together occasionally,” Miharu finally shares. “But I don’t mind not doing all of that. I actually think that it’s better if we don’t go that fast but then… I was thinking that, without even knowing how you really felt so I realized I didn’t have the right to think that way. And I didn’t want to come in between you and your friends. You’ve known them longer and, like you said, I just popped out of nowhere and confessed. That’s why when Gou-chan invited me to your house and I saw everyone having fun together and telling stories, I thought, ‘Ah. I shouldn’t be here.’ So you know, I was keen on not barging into your life even more than I already had.”
Haruka watches the calm ripples in the water.
“I’m sorry. I say my feelings toward someone just fine but I don’t know how to say what I’m really feeling inside. Kinda dumb, huh?” Miharu says with self-pity ringing in her chuckle. It’s true anyway.
“Maybe.”
Miharu laughs. “Is it really okay for me to call you ‘Haru’?”
Haruka nods.
“Um…”
Haruka turns to Miharu. She has her chin on her knees, cheeks red with obvious embarrassment. Haruka reaches out to pat her head.
She’s so warm…
Miharu lets Haruka stroke her hair for a while until he takes his hand back and scratches the back of his head as he sighs.
I like you, Miharu.
Haruka glances at Miharu and finds her staring at him with a smile.
“What is it?” Haruka asks curtly.
Miharu chuckles. “I’m happy.”
Haruka smiles a little to himself. “It’s your birthday. Of course you are.”
They ready themselves to go home. Miharu hooks Iwatobi-chan on her bag while Haruka starts toward the stairs. Miharu grabs Haruka’s hand so he turns around.
“What-“
Miharu kisses Haruka on the cheek. This, of course, makes Haruka freeze.
“Ah. Haru, I’m sorry! I didn’t-“
Haruka diverts his eyes to the side, avoiding eye-contact with Miharu. “It’s fine…” he mumbles.
Little by little, Miharu’s surprised expression is replaced by a sweet smile. Haruka holds her hand gently and leads the both of them down the stairs.
“Can I ask you something?”
Haruka and Miharu are walking out of the campus now. They’ve let go of their hands the moment they walked out the door to the pool. By reflex, really.
“Shoot.”
“So, um… Why are Nagisa-kun and the others helping you with me? I don’t want to sound like I’m anyone important but-“
“You’re the first girl to confess to me…” Haruka answers almost in a whisper that it’s obvious that he’s embarrassed to admit it.
Miharu gasps. “Are you serious?! And here I thought there were hundreds of girls who’ve had their hearts broken by you!”
“Stop exaggerating.”
“Sorry, sorry. But… Really?”
“Really.”
Miharu could feel her cheeks burning. Her heart is pounding so hard that she could hear it in her head. It’s funny.
Haruka’s hand brushes against Miharu’s and this startles them both just a bit. But almost naturally, Miharu hooks her pinky with Haruka’s own. Haruka glances at the little kid beside him. The smile that shines in front of his eyes washes over him like cherry blossoms dancing in the water.
Under the setting sun, Iwatobi-chan dances to the passing sea breeze.