I'm confused again. :(

I go to pick a mood thing, and automatically land on "sleepy." Get's me thinking, why the hell am I awake?

So I'm going to bed

www.pandora.com

This is just wicked. Props to Eden for telling me about it.

This is so weird. I'm probably the busiest and stressed out I've ever been in my life, and yet, at the same time, I'm so ridiculously content. I'm playing the music that I love, I'm doing good in my classes, and everything is just lining up and making sense.

Isn't it funny ( Read more... )

I just wrote a bajillion words and they got erased by magical computer crap.

In short then! Sun is my friend. I think I was getting depressed by it being so dreary here, but I didn't even know it. People were asking me if I was ok and everything, and I was just wondering what the freak was wrong with them, I thought I was fine. Not so much. It was ( Read more... )

Haven't done this in awhile.... ok. Much has changed.

So I'm at home. It's great, except for the fact that I feel like a guest. My room has become the center for painting closet doors, and I don't have a bed in there, so I'm sleeping in the guest room. I haven't had to do dishes yet, which is a BIG deal in my house.. you live here, you do dishes. I ( Read more... )

How much more clear can I be? I thought I made myself very clear, and trying to change my mind is only making things harder on both parties. I can just see myself being forced into a situation where I'm going to have to be harsh to get my point across. I don't want to do that!

I said that I'd take all the weight that I could to make it easier, but ( Read more... )

Ignorance is bliss.

I like to think that I'm a good person. I like to think that my actions are reflective of that. I suppose not.... it seems I hurt people no matter how good my intentions are. And that right there makes me doubt myself in regards to pretty much everything.

I like to think that I don't care what people think. I learned today ( Read more... )

I'm freaking out. This is what I learned in coaching today:

Pretty much, with the lack of funding to orchestras, I'll never be able to hold a job that has a season long enough to support me. That's if I get a job. The chances of getting an orchestral job are slim to none, because there's an entire generation of musicians before me who have been ( Read more... )

I hate this in-between feeling. I'm not sure if I gave in too early, and interest was lost.

Frick. I need to stop thinking. It scares me.

I'm really not looking forward to this exam.... DARN YOU SABRINA! Way to rub it in.... butthead. Ok, done being immature.

Immaturity... That's a funny concept sometimes....

People put up a mask to everyone else. Everyone has their "society" mask, and that's the part of you that you let everyone see. I guess I have a really good mask, because I ( Read more... )