Ghost-fire [onibi 鬼火 ] Drabble:Yugito, Hidan, Kakuzu
Please see the author's note.
She feels a surreal sense of sliding downhill, of becoming a commodity again- had worked so hard to shed the mantle of being identified as the vessel of the niibi instead being seen as Yugito by her village. The progress she has made forfeited, and she feels the loss acutely, but more so the loss of having been defeated.
She’s a valuable commodity- the bijuu they want to slot into their lurid statue, the cat itself because, despite being a nekomata, is lucky, and possibly also because Kumo still has one more jinchuuriki they might be able to bait out if they keep her alive, however temporarily that might turn out to be. Yugito wonders if the cat had any hand in this situation; surely it can’t have meant to lose. Or did the call of freedom make it look at this opportunity to place itself one step closer to being free. It has also placed it one step closer to a smaller cage as well, but the cat is very lucky. Yugito considers what freedom might mean with these men; cut off at the umbilicus from her village, now nomadic, hunting. The cat grins a wicked jawful of teeth like swords at this thought. Had actually pushed the idea at her, letting the truth of it sink like dread.
She knows the cat well by this point, had her mind wrapped around it from a very young age. Too young. The village… how they’d cut her down and run her ragged, pared and honed her down until there was nothing left but strength. Backed her into corners where she came out fighting, had it inside her to come out fighting- to not let go, to persevere in the face of adversity. That’s why she hangs on now, even confronted with the reality of her subservience to these men, she will always fight.
Her village had finally pushed her in front of the falls of truth, and she had had to face what was at the heart of herself. Eventually, she had found that her soul was truer than the bijuu that she carried, that she had integrity in the face of it all. Self-assuredness born of her sweat and blood, proving in her own eyes that she was strong. Owning her own abilities, seeing her strengths and knowing her own limits.
To fully have control of one’s bijuu, the vessel must have more than what is necessary to just equal it, enough to overcome it, must have enough to conquer it. She never reached that; Bee had his family, ties and bonds that made a safety-net, and through these he was able to sync with the eight-tails. Yugito was courageous, and loyal like all shinobi are expected to be, but in spite of her convictions it was not enough to subdue the cat. Perhaps it was all the death it came rolled in; that much of it puts a chasm between her and those around her, even those who have slain countless opponents can’t fathom the sheer magnitude of the land of the dead. Shinobi have a greater appreciation and awareness of the otherland, but even so, she had never met any that really were able to level with her own experience. Another unsettling congruity with Kakuzu and Hidan is their knowledge of the dead. Kakuzu from his years upon years of slaughter and war, Hidan from sinking his own ship of death, casting himself over into the abyss but never completing the journey.
Yugito doesn’t want to think of herself as a criminal, affiliated with criminals, even though what her own village has condoned has left her far from blameless. She looks instead at the fact that she is still alive, and if that is the case she can still escape, still be rescued. The cat rolls at this, hisses poison into her ears. <> She pushes the cat away, doesn’t panic, doesn’t let the fear eat at her insides to give it more room. The cat lies, or bends the truth to try and get what it wants. She will endure this, she won’t let this experience make her into a criminal even if she has to do criminal things; just like being a shinobi and killing for her village doesn’t make her a killer. The truth of her being is more than the things she carries out with her hands.
A/N: This fic departs from cannon, if you hadn't yet realized, after she is beaten by Kakuzu and Hidan. I'm going to run with the idea that Yugito doesn't have to die (at least not in the imminent future, perhaps later on if things don't work out right) and that she is being used in a number of ways that are hinted at. I will also go with the idea that the Nekomata developed as in accordance with Japanese mythology, from a long-tailed cat to a bake-neko, a lucky cat, and finally to a nekomata. Hence, the cat is a lucky one, and with this Kakuzu might be able to utilize that talent as he is able. Or maybe Bee can come and defeat the Nekomata with the Hachibi and make it lose a tail so that the Akatsuki can't use it IDK....
I've always like Yugito, but never had the balls to try and write her. And, I'm also terribly terribly in love with the other fics with this trio that it is almost blasphemous to get myself into it all (I'm not looking to get my own apple polished, if you're at all familiar with this grp you'll know what I mean ; I'm trying to do the best I can with my abilities and accept it *guess I'm taking a lesson from Yugi*)
She feels a surreal sense of sliding downhill, of becoming a commodity again- had worked so hard to shed the mantle of being identified as the vessel of the niibi instead being seen as Yugito by her village. The progress she has made forfeited, and she feels the loss acutely, but more so the loss of having been defeated.
She’s a valuable commodity- the bijuu they want to slot into their lurid statue, the cat itself because, despite being a nekomata, is lucky, and possibly also because Kumo still has one more jinchuuriki they might be able to bait out if they keep her alive, however temporarily that might turn out to be. Yugito wonders if the cat had any hand in this situation; surely it can’t have meant to lose. Or did the call of freedom make it look at this opportunity to place itself one step closer to being free. It has also placed it one step closer to a smaller cage as well, but the cat is very lucky. Yugito considers what freedom might mean with these men; cut off at the umbilicus from her village, now nomadic, hunting. The cat grins a wicked jawful of teeth like swords at this thought. Had actually pushed the idea at her, letting the truth of it sink like dread.
She knows the cat well by this point, had her mind wrapped around it from a very young age. Too young. The village… how they’d cut her down and run her ragged, pared and honed her down until there was nothing left but strength. Backed her into corners where she came out fighting, had it inside her to come out fighting- to not let go, to persevere in the face of adversity. That’s why she hangs on now, even confronted with the reality of her subservience to these men, she will always fight.
Her village had finally pushed her in front of the falls of truth, and she had had to face what was at the heart of herself. Eventually, she had found that her soul was truer than the bijuu that she carried, that she had integrity in the face of it all. Self-assuredness born of her sweat and blood, proving in her own eyes that she was strong. Owning her own abilities, seeing her strengths and knowing her own limits.
To fully have control of one’s bijuu, the vessel must have more than what is necessary to just equal it, enough to overcome it, must have enough to conquer it. She never reached that; Bee had his family, ties and bonds that made a safety-net, and through these he was able to sync with the eight-tails. Yugito was courageous, and loyal like all shinobi are expected to be, but in spite of her convictions it was not enough to subdue the cat. Perhaps it was all the death it came rolled in; that much of it puts a chasm between her and those around her, even those who have slain countless opponents can’t fathom the sheer magnitude of the land of the dead. Shinobi have a greater appreciation and awareness of the otherland, but even so, she had never met any that really were able to level with her own experience. Another unsettling congruity with Kakuzu and Hidan is their knowledge of the dead. Kakuzu from his years upon years of slaughter and war, Hidan from sinking his own ship of death, casting himself over into the abyss but never completing the journey.
Yugito doesn’t want to think of herself as a criminal, affiliated with criminals, even though what her own village has condoned has left her far from blameless. She looks instead at the fact that she is still alive, and if that is the case she can still escape, still be rescued. The cat rolls at this, hisses poison into her ears. <
A/N: This fic departs from cannon, if you hadn't yet realized, after she is beaten by Kakuzu and Hidan. I'm going to run with the idea that Yugito doesn't have to die (at least not in the imminent future, perhaps later on if things don't work out right) and that she is being used in a number of ways that are hinted at. I will also go with the idea that the Nekomata developed as in accordance with Japanese mythology, from a long-tailed cat to a bake-neko, a lucky cat, and finally to a nekomata. Hence, the cat is a lucky one, and with this Kakuzu might be able to utilize that talent as he is able. Or maybe Bee can come and defeat the Nekomata with the Hachibi and make it lose a tail so that the Akatsuki can't use it IDK....
I've always like Yugito, but never had the balls to try and write her. And, I'm also terribly terribly in love with the other fics with this trio that it is almost blasphemous to get myself into it all (I'm not looking to get my own apple polished, if you're at all familiar with this grp you'll know what I mean ; I'm trying to do the best I can with my abilities and accept it *guess I'm taking a lesson from Yugi*)