babies and dogs, cats, too
One of my foster dogs was returned to us by his adopted family recently. Their 'last straw' reason was that he [nearly bit their infant grandson].
This bright eyed little ball of energy (who had lived at my house for 4 months or so with my two-year-old daughter in frequent company) was said to frequently bite Dad and finally tried to bite the baby. It was hard to believe then and I'm still not sure how much I would believe today.
I'm frustrated a lot over the course of dog rescue. Much of it over peoples' expectations of both rescue dogs and volunteers.
We spoke with the previous adopted mom and she began with suggesting a different environment for him - perhaps someone single, no kids, etc. She also finally added a bit of detail that he kept trying to barge into the middle of baby attention.
Who wants to bet that he kept getting pushed out, pushed away, harshly scolded, shoved, who knows what else that people don't realize they do and/or justify it with 'well it's for the baby'. :(
I see that in my home from time to time today with my own parents out of concern for my daughter. I scold my own parents for their actions - my dogs and cats get along fine with my daughter and are no danger or threat to her - both my daughter and my pets have learned to cohabitate. When I have young company over, I usually shuffle my furkids upstairs where they will not be underfoot and hence reduce any possible conflicts - no hardship on them - they nap quietly or amuse themselves with each other or toys.
When my daughter was born, I was most concerned over how my oldest dog was going to behave around her. She's 4.5 lbs, old, and probably terrified of how big my daughter was (born at nearly 9 lbs). Over the last two and a half years, there were initially and exchange or two that resulted in no more than tears and a glare - they now get along just fine. They're not bosom buddies, no - but my daughter knows to be more gentle around my dog and my dog knows that my daughter likes to give her snacks. But I never ever told any of my dogs or cats to SCRAM away from the baby or anything like that. Moreover, I discouraged that treatment of them from anyone else under my roof.
Recently on the phone with my mom, she was complaining about my cat wandering into my daughter's room. She was afraid that my cat would hurt my daughter. Okay, let's put aside the fact that I love my daughter and protect her well and why I would allow anything under my roof that could actively harm my daughter be anywhere near her. I took a deep breath and told Mom that my cat likes my daughter well enough, plays with her sometimes, and doesn't mind that my daughter likes to play with her tail. At least that placated her, but it just disappointed me that someone so close to me turns such a negative eye to a furkid I love very much.
All these people, who so commonly surrender their dogs or cats because they have a new baby in the family, could learn a lot, if they cared or took responsibility to listen. :( Similar to an older sibling having a hard time sharing his spotlight with a new baby sibling, it's a parallel with our pets.
Observe your own and others' reactions to your pets when your new baby is around or new grandbaby. Your pets are your kids, too. They feel hurt when they're pushed away. You just need to gently teach them to share attention with the newcomer. Time, patience, lots of extra love - everything will settle in again soon enough. Don't teach your pet to be jealous of the baby - unfortunately that's what too many families unwittingly end up doing. And they hide too often behind 'it's for the good of the baby'. What about your furbaby?
It's very easy to forget in the presence of new incredible cuteness that inherent with babies, but this most recent adoption return really makes me sad thinking about how many pets out there are given up because their loving families have inadvertently taught them to be jealous of the baby and pets have no other avenues of communication.
This bright eyed little ball of energy (who had lived at my house for 4 months or so with my two-year-old daughter in frequent company) was said to frequently bite Dad and finally tried to bite the baby. It was hard to believe then and I'm still not sure how much I would believe today.
I'm frustrated a lot over the course of dog rescue. Much of it over peoples' expectations of both rescue dogs and volunteers.
We spoke with the previous adopted mom and she began with suggesting a different environment for him - perhaps someone single, no kids, etc. She also finally added a bit of detail that he kept trying to barge into the middle of baby attention.
Who wants to bet that he kept getting pushed out, pushed away, harshly scolded, shoved, who knows what else that people don't realize they do and/or justify it with 'well it's for the baby'. :(
I see that in my home from time to time today with my own parents out of concern for my daughter. I scold my own parents for their actions - my dogs and cats get along fine with my daughter and are no danger or threat to her - both my daughter and my pets have learned to cohabitate. When I have young company over, I usually shuffle my furkids upstairs where they will not be underfoot and hence reduce any possible conflicts - no hardship on them - they nap quietly or amuse themselves with each other or toys.
When my daughter was born, I was most concerned over how my oldest dog was going to behave around her. She's 4.5 lbs, old, and probably terrified of how big my daughter was (born at nearly 9 lbs). Over the last two and a half years, there were initially and exchange or two that resulted in no more than tears and a glare - they now get along just fine. They're not bosom buddies, no - but my daughter knows to be more gentle around my dog and my dog knows that my daughter likes to give her snacks. But I never ever told any of my dogs or cats to SCRAM away from the baby or anything like that. Moreover, I discouraged that treatment of them from anyone else under my roof.
Recently on the phone with my mom, she was complaining about my cat wandering into my daughter's room. She was afraid that my cat would hurt my daughter. Okay, let's put aside the fact that I love my daughter and protect her well and why I would allow anything under my roof that could actively harm my daughter be anywhere near her. I took a deep breath and told Mom that my cat likes my daughter well enough, plays with her sometimes, and doesn't mind that my daughter likes to play with her tail. At least that placated her, but it just disappointed me that someone so close to me turns such a negative eye to a furkid I love very much.
All these people, who so commonly surrender their dogs or cats because they have a new baby in the family, could learn a lot, if they cared or took responsibility to listen. :( Similar to an older sibling having a hard time sharing his spotlight with a new baby sibling, it's a parallel with our pets.
Observe your own and others' reactions to your pets when your new baby is around or new grandbaby. Your pets are your kids, too. They feel hurt when they're pushed away. You just need to gently teach them to share attention with the newcomer. Time, patience, lots of extra love - everything will settle in again soon enough. Don't teach your pet to be jealous of the baby - unfortunately that's what too many families unwittingly end up doing. And they hide too often behind 'it's for the good of the baby'. What about your furbaby?
It's very easy to forget in the presence of new incredible cuteness that inherent with babies, but this most recent adoption return really makes me sad thinking about how many pets out there are given up because their loving families have inadvertently taught them to be jealous of the baby and pets have no other avenues of communication.