Pieces of Her, 21/?
Title: Pieces of Her, 21/?
Author: Kagekamay
Rating: R
Length: 2,847
Spoilers: AU after Special Education
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Rachel Berry wasn't unbreakable. Now she's broken and the only person who can put her back together is Quinn Fabray. WARNING deals with self harm.
Rachel was startled out of her sleep by a soft pounding on the door. She groaned from exhaustion and buried her head farther into her pillow, wondering why her dad found it necessary to wake her up since he usually left her to herself in the morning.
"Rachel, we're going to be late if you don't get up!"
Well that definitely wasn't her dad. Rachel sat up quickly and was temporarily disoriented by her unfamiliar surroundings, until the previous day's events came rushing back to her.
"I'm up," she half yawned, hoping her response would be enough to placate Quinn.
Instead, her door flew open and before she had time to process what was going on, Quinn was rummaging through her drawers and throwing a pair of leggings, a skirt, and a sweater into her arms.
"I thought you love waking up early," Quinn chuckled as the brunette rubbed her eyes.
Rachel grumbled, and was about to retort, when she made the mistake of looking up at Quinn. The blonde's hair was hanging loosely around her shoulders, not yet pulled back in the trademark high ponytail, but she was already dressed in her uniform. Her breath caught in her throat, and she mumbled something about changing before brushing past Quinn and locking herself in the bathroom. Once there, she slid down the length of the door until she was sitting on the floor. She really needed to get a hold of herself.
After splashing some cold water on her face, she examined her cuts to make sure none were infected. She hadn't had to wrap them for a couple of days, since she had only made a couple of shallow cuts that healed fast. She rubbed some Neosporin on the red cuts, and pulled on the clothes Quinn had picked out for her. When she came out of the bathroom, her room was empty, so she assumed Quinn had gone downstairs for breakfast. Yawning again, she descended the stairs and was met with the sight of Quinn leaning casually against the banister with a granola bar in her hand.
"Here," she said, throwing the bar to Rachel, "sorry, but this is all we have time for since someone decided to sleep in this morning."
She smirked at Rachel, who smiled sheepishly before following Quinn out the door. Despite Quinn's worries, they arrived at school with plenty of time to spare. The blonde walked Rachel to her locker, and patiently waited for her to change her books, but her whole body was tense, and she kept shooting looks at students who came too close to Rachel.
"Not that I don't appreciate it, Quinn, but why are you glaring at everyone?" the diva asked as she closed her locker.
"No reason," Quinn growled, fixing a freshman football player with a particularly fierce glare. The boy paled and sprinted off in the opposite direction.
Rachel sighed and touched Quinn's arm, making the blonde turn her attention towards her. Her hazel eyes were clouded with worry and frustration, and the diva once again felt her heart skip a beat.
"Quinn…"
The blonde frowned, but she relaxed marginally at her touch, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Quinn said, offering Rachel a tight smile, "I just worry about you, that's all."
Rachel narrowed her eyes, suddenly realizing what was bothering her, "The slushy wasn't your fault, you know."
Anger flashed across the taller girl's face before it smoothed back into its normal blank mask, "Why would you think that's what I'm thinking about?"
Rachel shrugged, "Just a guess."
"Mhm," Quinn pursed her lips before grabbing the books out of Rachel's hand, "We should go. I wouldn't want you to be late to class."
The brunette decided it not to point out the blatant subject change, and chose instead to follow Quinn silently to math. It was probably best to not test Quinn at the moment, and she had a sneaking suspicion this wasn't the last time she would have to talk to her about it.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
Rachel hadn't been wrong. Quinn had actually been doing a lot of thinking about the slushy incident, and she had every intention of making sure the meatheads who had ignored her slushy ban paid the price.
She gritted her teeth as an image of a Rachel covered from head to foot in purple ice passed through her mind. Of course it would happen as soon as she wasn't there to protect her. The only problem was that she had no idea who the culprits were, and the only person who knew -
"Puck," she whispered aloud, the beginnings of a plan forming in her mind.
"Mmm?" she started and turned to the mohawked boy, who was sitting to the right of her, his eyes already half closed from boredom.
Her eyes darted around the classroom to make sure no one had heard her, and she was relieved to see that half the class was asleep. Mr. Schuester usually had that effect on people, she thought, as the man continued to struggle to explain the difference between 'por' and 'para.'
"You saw who slushied Rachel on Friday, right?" she asked, making sure to keep her voice low.
Puck sat up straighter, his eyes darkening with anger, "Yeah I did. Roughed them up pretty good too," he took one look at the blonde and smirked, "and I'm guessing you want to deal with them yourself, right?"
Quinn smiled, but it was anything but pleasant, "Do you think you could arrange for them to be at the boy's locker room at the beginning of fourth period?"
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
Quinn didn't have to wait long. She was leaning casually against the wall outside the locker room when three scrawny boys came into view. Typical freshman. In all honesty, Quinn knew they had probably only attacked Rachel to impress their teammates, that they didn't have a personal vendetta against the singer, but the closer they got to her, the more she realized she didn't care.
She felt herself channeling the head bitch persona as she pushed herself off the wall and walked to stand in front of them, a barely controlled rage burning in her eyes, "So you're the three? You don't look like much."
The shortest boy looked like he was about to say something but Quinn cut him off, "Don't even think about interrupting me. I want to get something straight with you pathetic losers."
She leaned in close, making sure to look at each one of them individually, "You slushied my friend. That makes me angry. And if there's one thing you know at McKinley, it's that you don't want me to be angry."
"W-we were just doing what they told us to do," defended the black haired boy, Nick Mullen if she recalled his name.
"Really?" Quinn raised an eyebrow, "So if they told you to slushy her again would you do it?"
Nick gulped and shook his head rapidly, "N-no."
"I would hope not. Because you see if you did, I'd ensure that you wouldn't be able to go two hundred feet without getting doused in slushy," she said icily, her glare never leaving his face.
The boy ducked his head, and Quinn turned her attention to the other two, "That goes for you as well. If any of you even think about touching Rachel, you get to deal with me. Clear?"
She could practically smell the fear coming off of them as they hurriedly assured her that they understood.
"Well get going," she ordered, unable to hide her smirk as they practically sprinted back up the hallway they had come, glancing back at her to make sure she wasn't following them. As if.
The moment they got to the end of the hall, Puck stepped out from his hiding place with two slushies in hand, unceremoniously flinging their contents on the heads of the two boys in the lead. The third boy was too shocked to move, which gave Puck plenty of time to pick up the third slushy at his feet and dump it on his head.
Quinn felt a twinge of guilt at the pain she saw on their faces, but she quickly pushed that away. Rachel had gone through far worse, and they had to learn. Quinn Fabray wasn't someone you wanted to mess with. She managed to give Puck a nod when he glanced her way, and he flashed her a grim smile before going back the way he had come.
"Quinn?"
She tensed and looked over her shoulder, surprised to hear her name being called. Standing behind her, looking completely stunned, was Sam dressed in his work out clothes with a towel slung over his shoulder. Dread settled in her stomach as she watched his eyes flicker from her to the freshman who were starting to recover and make their way to the nearest bathroom.
He opened his mouth, no doubt to ask what the hell was going on, but she cut him off, "Not now, Sam," she snapped, before turning on her heel to storm down the hallway.
"No."
That one word made Quinn stop, and whirl back around to face Sam, who looked surprised that he had said anything, but he squared his shoulders, "You can't just slushy those guys and then not explain why."
"They were losers, Sam, how's that for an explanation?" she spat, anger still churning inside of her.
"That's not a good reason," Sam argued, frowning at her as if he expected better.
"Oh really?" Quinn snarled, "and yet that's exactly the excuse people use every day. They're losers, so we should punish them by throwing a fucking frozen drink in their face!"
Her fury seemed to have registered with Sam, because he was backing away from her slowly, hands held in front of him, "That's the way things are! There's nothing we can do about it!"
"No, you're too afraid of losing your status to do anything about it!" she shouted eyes blazing as she advanced on him, "You're perfectly content with the way things are as long as you aren't the one getting a slushy facial."
"Like you're any different!" Sam argued, standing his ground and wincing when he tried to hold Quinn's glare, "The only reason we're dating is because you care so much about your image."
That stopped Quinn in her tracks. She hadn't thought he would have realized that had been her original intention, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh let's be honest with each other for once, Quinn!" Sam exclaimed, voice rising to match hers, "We were both using each other, and we were fine with it!"
"Were?" she asked, her voice trembling in spite of herself.
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, shoulders hunching in defeat, "Yeah. Were."
The pair of them stood in silence for a moment, and Quinn swore she felt the hallway get colder. Finally Sam raised his head, a mixture of dejection and something else on his face. Regret maybe?
"This isn't working anymore, is it."
Quinn let out a shaky laugh, and shook her head, "Absolutely not."
Sam smiled self-deprecatingly and ran his hands through his hair.
"Did you like me?" he finally managed to ask, his voice laced with insecurity. It was so innocent that Quinn was tempted to lie and spare his feelings, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Her silence seemed to be enough for him though. He nodded sadly and toyed with the towel on his shoulder, "I kinda figured as much."
"Sam - " she started forward, but he took a step back, shaking his head warningly.
"Forget it, okay?" his tone was light, but even to Quinn it sounded forced, "I knew what I was getting myself into when I asked you to be my girlfriend."
She bit her lip and glanced down at the floor, the guilt crashing over her in waves, "I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I didn't mean for us to end up like this."
The boy shrugged, "It's done, and honestly it's probably for the best."
He hesitated, as if he was going to move in and hug her, but he seemed to think better of it because he suddenly turned away.
"I'll see you around, Quinn," he mumbled, before trudging down the hallway.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
Quinn spent the rest of her free period and all of her fifth period ensconced in the library, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. She couldn't deny that she felt…good. It had been stressful keeping up her relationship with Sam, and she was relieved that she wouldn't have to pretend anymore.
She was still in a bit of daze when she headed to the cafeteria, and she nearly bumped into Rachel who was waiting in the lunch line.
"Hello, Quinn," she greeted, handing the blonde a lunch tray.
"Huh? Oh hi," she said distractedly, taking the tray and surveying the food in front of her.
Rachel quirked an eyebrow at her, but didn't comment on her behavior. Instead she grabbed two salads and deposited them on the tray, along with two bottles of water.
"Is Sam mad at you again?" Rachel asked hesitantly, noticing the blonde boy watching them sit down at a table, an unhappy frown on his face.
Quinn felt her stomach twist as her eyes met his, and she hurriedly averted her eyes, "Not exactly. I mean I think he's a little pissed, but he'll get over it."
Before Rachel could ask, she elaborated, "We sort of broke up."
The diva's breath hitched as she paused in mid-motion of spearing a tomato, "Really?"
"Yeah, this morning. It just kind of happened," she shrugged, taking a bite of her own salad.
Rachel studied her curiously, "You don't seem all that upset about it.
"Well it was mutual, and there aren't any hard feelings, so - " she shrugged again and let the sentence hang unfinished in the air.
"Oh," Rachel said, staring at Quinn with a thoughtful look on her face, "that's good."
"Yeah," Quinn replied, struggling to keep her tone nonchalant while a little smile pulled at her mouth, "I guess."
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
She was overanalyzing again, Rachel thought desperately, glancing over at Quinn for the twelfth time from her seat on the piano bench. The blonde was preoccupied with trying to imitate the dance moves Brittany was showing her, yet she still managed to catch Rachel's eye. The singer flushed, and quickly busied herself with the music she was supposed to be looking over for their song. Yes, definitely overanalyzing. Quinn probably had perfectly sound reasons for breaking up with Sam, none of them involving her.
And yet…her eyes flickered up again, to catch sight of Brittany twirling around a laughing Quinn. The blonde looked so carefree, and happy. Rachel's smile immediately vanished and it felt like a stone had been dropped into her stomach. Who was she fooling? Quinn might as well have never broken up with Sam with the chance that she had with her.
The blonde was still laughing, and in spite of herself, Rachel felt a jolt of warmth shoot through her body. Maybe this was enough, she thought wryly as she fingered her rubber band. If Quinn was happy, than maybe she could be too. She barely winced when the rubber band snapped against her wrist.
Author: Kagekamay
Rating: R
Length: 2,847
Spoilers: AU after Special Education
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Rachel Berry wasn't unbreakable. Now she's broken and the only person who can put her back together is Quinn Fabray. WARNING deals with self harm.
Rachel was startled out of her sleep by a soft pounding on the door. She groaned from exhaustion and buried her head farther into her pillow, wondering why her dad found it necessary to wake her up since he usually left her to herself in the morning.
"Rachel, we're going to be late if you don't get up!"
Well that definitely wasn't her dad. Rachel sat up quickly and was temporarily disoriented by her unfamiliar surroundings, until the previous day's events came rushing back to her.
"I'm up," she half yawned, hoping her response would be enough to placate Quinn.
Instead, her door flew open and before she had time to process what was going on, Quinn was rummaging through her drawers and throwing a pair of leggings, a skirt, and a sweater into her arms.
"I thought you love waking up early," Quinn chuckled as the brunette rubbed her eyes.
Rachel grumbled, and was about to retort, when she made the mistake of looking up at Quinn. The blonde's hair was hanging loosely around her shoulders, not yet pulled back in the trademark high ponytail, but she was already dressed in her uniform. Her breath caught in her throat, and she mumbled something about changing before brushing past Quinn and locking herself in the bathroom. Once there, she slid down the length of the door until she was sitting on the floor. She really needed to get a hold of herself.
After splashing some cold water on her face, she examined her cuts to make sure none were infected. She hadn't had to wrap them for a couple of days, since she had only made a couple of shallow cuts that healed fast. She rubbed some Neosporin on the red cuts, and pulled on the clothes Quinn had picked out for her. When she came out of the bathroom, her room was empty, so she assumed Quinn had gone downstairs for breakfast. Yawning again, she descended the stairs and was met with the sight of Quinn leaning casually against the banister with a granola bar in her hand.
"Here," she said, throwing the bar to Rachel, "sorry, but this is all we have time for since someone decided to sleep in this morning."
She smirked at Rachel, who smiled sheepishly before following Quinn out the door. Despite Quinn's worries, they arrived at school with plenty of time to spare. The blonde walked Rachel to her locker, and patiently waited for her to change her books, but her whole body was tense, and she kept shooting looks at students who came too close to Rachel.
"Not that I don't appreciate it, Quinn, but why are you glaring at everyone?" the diva asked as she closed her locker.
"No reason," Quinn growled, fixing a freshman football player with a particularly fierce glare. The boy paled and sprinted off in the opposite direction.
Rachel sighed and touched Quinn's arm, making the blonde turn her attention towards her. Her hazel eyes were clouded with worry and frustration, and the diva once again felt her heart skip a beat.
"Quinn…"
The blonde frowned, but she relaxed marginally at her touch, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Quinn said, offering Rachel a tight smile, "I just worry about you, that's all."
Rachel narrowed her eyes, suddenly realizing what was bothering her, "The slushy wasn't your fault, you know."
Anger flashed across the taller girl's face before it smoothed back into its normal blank mask, "Why would you think that's what I'm thinking about?"
Rachel shrugged, "Just a guess."
"Mhm," Quinn pursed her lips before grabbing the books out of Rachel's hand, "We should go. I wouldn't want you to be late to class."
The brunette decided it not to point out the blatant subject change, and chose instead to follow Quinn silently to math. It was probably best to not test Quinn at the moment, and she had a sneaking suspicion this wasn't the last time she would have to talk to her about it.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
Rachel hadn't been wrong. Quinn had actually been doing a lot of thinking about the slushy incident, and she had every intention of making sure the meatheads who had ignored her slushy ban paid the price.
She gritted her teeth as an image of a Rachel covered from head to foot in purple ice passed through her mind. Of course it would happen as soon as she wasn't there to protect her. The only problem was that she had no idea who the culprits were, and the only person who knew -
"Puck," she whispered aloud, the beginnings of a plan forming in her mind.
"Mmm?" she started and turned to the mohawked boy, who was sitting to the right of her, his eyes already half closed from boredom.
Her eyes darted around the classroom to make sure no one had heard her, and she was relieved to see that half the class was asleep. Mr. Schuester usually had that effect on people, she thought, as the man continued to struggle to explain the difference between 'por' and 'para.'
"You saw who slushied Rachel on Friday, right?" she asked, making sure to keep her voice low.
Puck sat up straighter, his eyes darkening with anger, "Yeah I did. Roughed them up pretty good too," he took one look at the blonde and smirked, "and I'm guessing you want to deal with them yourself, right?"
Quinn smiled, but it was anything but pleasant, "Do you think you could arrange for them to be at the boy's locker room at the beginning of fourth period?"
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
Quinn didn't have to wait long. She was leaning casually against the wall outside the locker room when three scrawny boys came into view. Typical freshman. In all honesty, Quinn knew they had probably only attacked Rachel to impress their teammates, that they didn't have a personal vendetta against the singer, but the closer they got to her, the more she realized she didn't care.
She felt herself channeling the head bitch persona as she pushed herself off the wall and walked to stand in front of them, a barely controlled rage burning in her eyes, "So you're the three? You don't look like much."
The shortest boy looked like he was about to say something but Quinn cut him off, "Don't even think about interrupting me. I want to get something straight with you pathetic losers."
She leaned in close, making sure to look at each one of them individually, "You slushied my friend. That makes me angry. And if there's one thing you know at McKinley, it's that you don't want me to be angry."
"W-we were just doing what they told us to do," defended the black haired boy, Nick Mullen if she recalled his name.
"Really?" Quinn raised an eyebrow, "So if they told you to slushy her again would you do it?"
Nick gulped and shook his head rapidly, "N-no."
"I would hope not. Because you see if you did, I'd ensure that you wouldn't be able to go two hundred feet without getting doused in slushy," she said icily, her glare never leaving his face.
The boy ducked his head, and Quinn turned her attention to the other two, "That goes for you as well. If any of you even think about touching Rachel, you get to deal with me. Clear?"
She could practically smell the fear coming off of them as they hurriedly assured her that they understood.
"Well get going," she ordered, unable to hide her smirk as they practically sprinted back up the hallway they had come, glancing back at her to make sure she wasn't following them. As if.
The moment they got to the end of the hall, Puck stepped out from his hiding place with two slushies in hand, unceremoniously flinging their contents on the heads of the two boys in the lead. The third boy was too shocked to move, which gave Puck plenty of time to pick up the third slushy at his feet and dump it on his head.
Quinn felt a twinge of guilt at the pain she saw on their faces, but she quickly pushed that away. Rachel had gone through far worse, and they had to learn. Quinn Fabray wasn't someone you wanted to mess with. She managed to give Puck a nod when he glanced her way, and he flashed her a grim smile before going back the way he had come.
"Quinn?"
She tensed and looked over her shoulder, surprised to hear her name being called. Standing behind her, looking completely stunned, was Sam dressed in his work out clothes with a towel slung over his shoulder. Dread settled in her stomach as she watched his eyes flicker from her to the freshman who were starting to recover and make their way to the nearest bathroom.
He opened his mouth, no doubt to ask what the hell was going on, but she cut him off, "Not now, Sam," she snapped, before turning on her heel to storm down the hallway.
"No."
That one word made Quinn stop, and whirl back around to face Sam, who looked surprised that he had said anything, but he squared his shoulders, "You can't just slushy those guys and then not explain why."
"They were losers, Sam, how's that for an explanation?" she spat, anger still churning inside of her.
"That's not a good reason," Sam argued, frowning at her as if he expected better.
"Oh really?" Quinn snarled, "and yet that's exactly the excuse people use every day. They're losers, so we should punish them by throwing a fucking frozen drink in their face!"
Her fury seemed to have registered with Sam, because he was backing away from her slowly, hands held in front of him, "That's the way things are! There's nothing we can do about it!"
"No, you're too afraid of losing your status to do anything about it!" she shouted eyes blazing as she advanced on him, "You're perfectly content with the way things are as long as you aren't the one getting a slushy facial."
"Like you're any different!" Sam argued, standing his ground and wincing when he tried to hold Quinn's glare, "The only reason we're dating is because you care so much about your image."
That stopped Quinn in her tracks. She hadn't thought he would have realized that had been her original intention, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh let's be honest with each other for once, Quinn!" Sam exclaimed, voice rising to match hers, "We were both using each other, and we were fine with it!"
"Were?" she asked, her voice trembling in spite of herself.
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, shoulders hunching in defeat, "Yeah. Were."
The pair of them stood in silence for a moment, and Quinn swore she felt the hallway get colder. Finally Sam raised his head, a mixture of dejection and something else on his face. Regret maybe?
"This isn't working anymore, is it."
Quinn let out a shaky laugh, and shook her head, "Absolutely not."
Sam smiled self-deprecatingly and ran his hands through his hair.
"Did you like me?" he finally managed to ask, his voice laced with insecurity. It was so innocent that Quinn was tempted to lie and spare his feelings, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Her silence seemed to be enough for him though. He nodded sadly and toyed with the towel on his shoulder, "I kinda figured as much."
"Sam - " she started forward, but he took a step back, shaking his head warningly.
"Forget it, okay?" his tone was light, but even to Quinn it sounded forced, "I knew what I was getting myself into when I asked you to be my girlfriend."
She bit her lip and glanced down at the floor, the guilt crashing over her in waves, "I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I didn't mean for us to end up like this."
The boy shrugged, "It's done, and honestly it's probably for the best."
He hesitated, as if he was going to move in and hug her, but he seemed to think better of it because he suddenly turned away.
"I'll see you around, Quinn," he mumbled, before trudging down the hallway.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
Quinn spent the rest of her free period and all of her fifth period ensconced in the library, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. She couldn't deny that she felt…good. It had been stressful keeping up her relationship with Sam, and she was relieved that she wouldn't have to pretend anymore.
She was still in a bit of daze when she headed to the cafeteria, and she nearly bumped into Rachel who was waiting in the lunch line.
"Hello, Quinn," she greeted, handing the blonde a lunch tray.
"Huh? Oh hi," she said distractedly, taking the tray and surveying the food in front of her.
Rachel quirked an eyebrow at her, but didn't comment on her behavior. Instead she grabbed two salads and deposited them on the tray, along with two bottles of water.
"Is Sam mad at you again?" Rachel asked hesitantly, noticing the blonde boy watching them sit down at a table, an unhappy frown on his face.
Quinn felt her stomach twist as her eyes met his, and she hurriedly averted her eyes, "Not exactly. I mean I think he's a little pissed, but he'll get over it."
Before Rachel could ask, she elaborated, "We sort of broke up."
The diva's breath hitched as she paused in mid-motion of spearing a tomato, "Really?"
"Yeah, this morning. It just kind of happened," she shrugged, taking a bite of her own salad.
Rachel studied her curiously, "You don't seem all that upset about it.
"Well it was mutual, and there aren't any hard feelings, so - " she shrugged again and let the sentence hang unfinished in the air.
"Oh," Rachel said, staring at Quinn with a thoughtful look on her face, "that's good."
"Yeah," Quinn replied, struggling to keep her tone nonchalant while a little smile pulled at her mouth, "I guess."
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
She was overanalyzing again, Rachel thought desperately, glancing over at Quinn for the twelfth time from her seat on the piano bench. The blonde was preoccupied with trying to imitate the dance moves Brittany was showing her, yet she still managed to catch Rachel's eye. The singer flushed, and quickly busied herself with the music she was supposed to be looking over for their song. Yes, definitely overanalyzing. Quinn probably had perfectly sound reasons for breaking up with Sam, none of them involving her.
And yet…her eyes flickered up again, to catch sight of Brittany twirling around a laughing Quinn. The blonde looked so carefree, and happy. Rachel's smile immediately vanished and it felt like a stone had been dropped into her stomach. Who was she fooling? Quinn might as well have never broken up with Sam with the chance that she had with her.
The blonde was still laughing, and in spite of herself, Rachel felt a jolt of warmth shoot through her body. Maybe this was enough, she thought wryly as she fingered her rubber band. If Quinn was happy, than maybe she could be too. She barely winced when the rubber band snapped against her wrist.