Pieces of Her Epilogue
Title: Pieces of Her, Epilogue
Author: Kagekamay
Rating: R
Length: 1376
Spoilers: AU after Special Education
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Rachel Berry wasn't unbreakable. Now she's broken and the only person who can put her back together is Quinn Fabray. WARNING deals with self harm.
The sound of the alarm blaring loudly jolted Quinn from her sleep, and she quickly shut it off. She felt a shifting in her arms and she couldn't stop the smile from breaking out from her face when Rachel scrunched her eyes and snuggled closer to her. Quinn tightened her hold on the girl and softly kissed her forehead, giggling when Rachel let out a contented sigh.
"Sleep okay?" she whispered.
"Mmmm."
She giggled again and let her fingers trail down Rachel's arm, lingering along the fading scars that were quickly becoming nothing more than white lines. It had been a long couple of months. Months filled with more tears and locked bathroom doors, of arguments and declarations of hate; and yet here they were.
Rachel had taken great leaps and bounds to get where she was. It was still a struggle for her, and sometimes Quinn would catch her looking at her bathroom, doubt playing on her face. She knew Rachel still had a razor hidden somewhere just in case she needed it, even if now it was more of a security blanket than anything else.
Quinn wished things were different, that she had caught the signs early, and stopped Rachel before she had cut for the first time, that she had never had a hand in tearing the brunette down; but she couldn't change the past.
She felt a hand on her cheek, and her eyes found Rachel, now fully awake, and staring adoringly at her.
"What are you thinking?" she asked softly, thumb stroking her cheek gently.
Quinn felt her eyes flutter as she lost herself in Rachel's touch, but she kept them open, "Just us."
"Oh? What about us?"
The blonde shrugged, and covered Rachel's hand with her own, "The usual."
She met Rachel's gaze and felt the familiar warmth spreading from her chest when she saw the faint blush coloring Rachel's cheeks.
"I love you."
A simple statement, and one that Quinn knew Rachel needed to hear.
"I love you too," she replied, and Quinn smiled in relief, moving Rachel's hand to her mouth and gently kissing it.
The first time Rachel had said it, it had completely taken her by surprise. They were curled up on the couch, watching Funny Girl for what felt like the five hundredth time, not that Quinn minded. She had found herself concentrating more on the way Rachel was half spooned into her side, her head tucked against her chest with Quinn's arm draped over her.
Rachel had been humming along with the music and reciting a favorite line here and there, but she had fallen silent and Quinn had thought she had fallen asleep.
Until she had whispered it. It had been so soft, that Quinn had to strain her ears to hear it, but it was there. Who knew she could be brought to tears by three simple words?
"Do you mean it?" she had whispered, hardly daring to breathe when Rachel had craned her neck to look back at her.
The girl had hesitated before answering, obviously frightened that she might have gone too far in admitting her feelings, but she had nodded nonetheless. And Quinn had never felt so at peace with the world.
"Do you think you'll ever get tired of this?" Rachel asked softly.
"Tired of what?"
"Of me," Rachel mumbled a faraway expression that Quinn hadn't seen in a while on her face.
"No, I don't think so," Quinn answered, kissing Rachel tenderly.
She pulled back and grinned, "Nope definitely not."
Rachel rolled her eyes, but she gave Quinn a small smile.
"I'm still not okay, Quinn."
"You're getting better," Quinn whispered, squeezing their hands that were still entwined, "and I still love you."
"You know, I still have a hard time believing that sometimes," Rachel admitted, shifting closer to Quinn so their foreheads were touching.
"Then I'll keep telling you that," Quinn breathed, "after all what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't?"
Rachel smiled, and Quinn knew they both loved the sound of the word. Girlfriend. Rachel Berry was her girlfriend.
She felt a gentle nudging, and she let Rachel snuggle close to her, the smaller girl's head tucked perfectly underneath her chin. Quinn let out a small sigh of contentment, and felt her eyes close, enjoying the feel of Rachel in her arms.
"Sing for me?"
She cracked her eyelids open, a little startled by the request.
"Hmm," she hummed thoughtfully, absentmindedly nuzzling Rachel, "any requests?"
"Anything," Rachel murmured, and Quinn swore she could feel her smiling into her shirt.
"Fine," she sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes when she heard Rachel giggle quietly.
She mentally skimmed through the songs she had on file before selecting one.
"You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day. Lose myself in time just thinking of your face. God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go. You're the only one that I want," she sang softly into Rachel's ear, "I don't know why I'm scared I've been here before, every feeling every word I've imagined it all. You'll never know if you never try to forgive your past and simply be mi - mmph"
A soft pressure on her lips cut her off, and she instinctively returned it before she came back to her senses.
"If you keep doing that I'll never finish it," she chided, doing her best imitation of a Rachel pout.
"I thought you liked my kisses," Rachel pouted, her bottom lip sticking out perfectly and putting Quinn's attempt to shame.
"No, I love your kisses," Quinn laughed, ruffling Rachel's hair and finally sitting up, "but sometimes they're too distracting."
She threw the covers off and stood up, stretching her arms up and groaning while Rachel sat up and crossed her arms.
"What happened to cuddling?" she frowned, blowing the stray bangs out of her hair.
Quinn smiled, thinking for the umpteenth time that her girlfriend was too adorable for words.
"It got overruled by breakfast. Now come on, I'm thinking eggs with a healthy helping of bacon - "
"Quinn!"
"Just kidding! Boring fruit it is," she laughed, taking another step towards the door.
With a huff, Rachel scrambled off the bed, but instead of going towards Quinn, she moved to the girl's desk, picking up a pen and moving to the calendar hanging on Quinn's wall. With a quick downward slash through yesterday's date, she put the pen back down and looked at Quinn who was staring at her.
"What?"
"Nothing," she shrugged, opening her arms as Rachel walked towards her and wrapping her in another hug, "I'm just proud of you."
She kissed the top of Rachel's head and stepped away from her, playfully shoving her out the door, "Now get downstairs so my mother can properly feed us."
Rachel scoffed but she did as she was told and left the room. Quinn watched her go, falling a little bit more in love with the girl as she did. Before she followed her out, she glanced at the calendar that was riddled with dates scratched out with the black pen. Thirty five days. It had been thirty-five days since Rachel had last cut.
"Quinn!"
She rolled her eyes, but she still felt the familiar rush of affection as she turned toward her door, "Coming, Rach!"
Author: Kagekamay
Rating: R
Length: 1376
Spoilers: AU after Special Education
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Rachel Berry wasn't unbreakable. Now she's broken and the only person who can put her back together is Quinn Fabray. WARNING deals with self harm.
The sound of the alarm blaring loudly jolted Quinn from her sleep, and she quickly shut it off. She felt a shifting in her arms and she couldn't stop the smile from breaking out from her face when Rachel scrunched her eyes and snuggled closer to her. Quinn tightened her hold on the girl and softly kissed her forehead, giggling when Rachel let out a contented sigh.
"Sleep okay?" she whispered.
"Mmmm."
She giggled again and let her fingers trail down Rachel's arm, lingering along the fading scars that were quickly becoming nothing more than white lines. It had been a long couple of months. Months filled with more tears and locked bathroom doors, of arguments and declarations of hate; and yet here they were.
Rachel had taken great leaps and bounds to get where she was. It was still a struggle for her, and sometimes Quinn would catch her looking at her bathroom, doubt playing on her face. She knew Rachel still had a razor hidden somewhere just in case she needed it, even if now it was more of a security blanket than anything else.
Quinn wished things were different, that she had caught the signs early, and stopped Rachel before she had cut for the first time, that she had never had a hand in tearing the brunette down; but she couldn't change the past.
She felt a hand on her cheek, and her eyes found Rachel, now fully awake, and staring adoringly at her.
"What are you thinking?" she asked softly, thumb stroking her cheek gently.
Quinn felt her eyes flutter as she lost herself in Rachel's touch, but she kept them open, "Just us."
"Oh? What about us?"
The blonde shrugged, and covered Rachel's hand with her own, "The usual."
She met Rachel's gaze and felt the familiar warmth spreading from her chest when she saw the faint blush coloring Rachel's cheeks.
"I love you."
A simple statement, and one that Quinn knew Rachel needed to hear.
"I love you too," she replied, and Quinn smiled in relief, moving Rachel's hand to her mouth and gently kissing it.
The first time Rachel had said it, it had completely taken her by surprise. They were curled up on the couch, watching Funny Girl for what felt like the five hundredth time, not that Quinn minded. She had found herself concentrating more on the way Rachel was half spooned into her side, her head tucked against her chest with Quinn's arm draped over her.
Rachel had been humming along with the music and reciting a favorite line here and there, but she had fallen silent and Quinn had thought she had fallen asleep.
Until she had whispered it. It had been so soft, that Quinn had to strain her ears to hear it, but it was there. Who knew she could be brought to tears by three simple words?
"Do you mean it?" she had whispered, hardly daring to breathe when Rachel had craned her neck to look back at her.
The girl had hesitated before answering, obviously frightened that she might have gone too far in admitting her feelings, but she had nodded nonetheless. And Quinn had never felt so at peace with the world.
"Do you think you'll ever get tired of this?" Rachel asked softly.
"Tired of what?"
"Of me," Rachel mumbled a faraway expression that Quinn hadn't seen in a while on her face.
"No, I don't think so," Quinn answered, kissing Rachel tenderly.
She pulled back and grinned, "Nope definitely not."
Rachel rolled her eyes, but she gave Quinn a small smile.
"I'm still not okay, Quinn."
"You're getting better," Quinn whispered, squeezing their hands that were still entwined, "and I still love you."
"You know, I still have a hard time believing that sometimes," Rachel admitted, shifting closer to Quinn so their foreheads were touching.
"Then I'll keep telling you that," Quinn breathed, "after all what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't?"
Rachel smiled, and Quinn knew they both loved the sound of the word. Girlfriend. Rachel Berry was her girlfriend.
She felt a gentle nudging, and she let Rachel snuggle close to her, the smaller girl's head tucked perfectly underneath her chin. Quinn let out a small sigh of contentment, and felt her eyes close, enjoying the feel of Rachel in her arms.
"Sing for me?"
She cracked her eyelids open, a little startled by the request.
"Hmm," she hummed thoughtfully, absentmindedly nuzzling Rachel, "any requests?"
"Anything," Rachel murmured, and Quinn swore she could feel her smiling into her shirt.
"Fine," she sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes when she heard Rachel giggle quietly.
She mentally skimmed through the songs she had on file before selecting one.
"You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day. Lose myself in time just thinking of your face. God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go. You're the only one that I want," she sang softly into Rachel's ear, "I don't know why I'm scared I've been here before, every feeling every word I've imagined it all. You'll never know if you never try to forgive your past and simply be mi - mmph"
A soft pressure on her lips cut her off, and she instinctively returned it before she came back to her senses.
"If you keep doing that I'll never finish it," she chided, doing her best imitation of a Rachel pout.
"I thought you liked my kisses," Rachel pouted, her bottom lip sticking out perfectly and putting Quinn's attempt to shame.
"No, I love your kisses," Quinn laughed, ruffling Rachel's hair and finally sitting up, "but sometimes they're too distracting."
She threw the covers off and stood up, stretching her arms up and groaning while Rachel sat up and crossed her arms.
"What happened to cuddling?" she frowned, blowing the stray bangs out of her hair.
Quinn smiled, thinking for the umpteenth time that her girlfriend was too adorable for words.
"It got overruled by breakfast. Now come on, I'm thinking eggs with a healthy helping of bacon - "
"Quinn!"
"Just kidding! Boring fruit it is," she laughed, taking another step towards the door.
With a huff, Rachel scrambled off the bed, but instead of going towards Quinn, she moved to the girl's desk, picking up a pen and moving to the calendar hanging on Quinn's wall. With a quick downward slash through yesterday's date, she put the pen back down and looked at Quinn who was staring at her.
"What?"
"Nothing," she shrugged, opening her arms as Rachel walked towards her and wrapping her in another hug, "I'm just proud of you."
She kissed the top of Rachel's head and stepped away from her, playfully shoving her out the door, "Now get downstairs so my mother can properly feed us."
Rachel scoffed but she did as she was told and left the room. Quinn watched her go, falling a little bit more in love with the girl as she did. Before she followed her out, she glanced at the calendar that was riddled with dates scratched out with the black pen. Thirty five days. It had been thirty-five days since Rachel had last cut.
"Quinn!"
She rolled her eyes, but she still felt the familiar rush of affection as she turned toward her door, "Coming, Rach!"