Fuck you, I'm a pumpkin!
Title: Fuck You, I'm A Pumpkin!
Rating: PG-15
Pairings/People: Pinto
Word count: 786
Author: kaidoh_kitty
A/N: Some of the dialogue was stolen from a text conversation my brothers had. Yeah, I don't know what this either.
"Fuck you, Zach, I'm a pumpkin." Chris yelled when he saw Zach's reaction to his costume. "At least I'm not a fruit." He teased.
"Hey, hey. Pineapples are plenty awesome." Zach retorted. "And and and! Pumpkins are fruits, Mr. college education."
"Yeah, yeah. keep rubbing in your fancy acting college, Zach." Playfully, he stuck his tongue out.
“Not my fault they didn’t let us take up any real classes and I had to teach myself.” Zach preened.
“I get it, you’re smart. You don’t have to prove it to me.” Wiggling occurred.
“You okay there?”
“I think my ass is stuck.”
“Typical fat chick response.”
“At least I’m funny.”
“At least I have a nice personality.” They both laughed.
“Just let out your inner fat chick, man. Just let her out.” Chris nodded sagely.
“Oh, the wisdom of The Great Pumpkin.” Zach bowed to the orange blob.
Chris picked up a knife used to carve beings such as himself and waved it at Zach. “Watch it, pal.”
Zach scoffed. “What are you going to do? Carve-faces-into-yourself at me? I am literally scared with fear.”
A dark smile crept up on Chris’ face. “Oh, you’ll see.”
Screams could be heard through the apartment complex.
---
“From that day on, every time someone entered the apartment they could smell raw, bloody pineapples and pumpkins.” John told Anton, Jacob and Jimmy.
“There’s no way that happened!” Jacob argued.
“Oh, it happened.” Karl injected.
“Yeah, sure, and I’m Czar Isaac the Terrible.” Anton huffed as he drew his legs up to his chest.
The older men smiled smugly while Simon snuck to the door and opened it to let certain guests in.
Chris went first, pumpkin guts covering him from head to toe. The smell was awful but it worked to scare the little ones. Jimmy nearly peed himself. Zach came in all his ketchup-blooded glory, sneaking up behind poor Jacob and brushing a pineapple-juiced finger over the back of his neck. “How would you like to get carved?” He whispered in the now paralyzed boy’s ear.
Jacob screamed. Zach screamed. Jimmy screamed. Anton screamed and lunged to hug Karl. Chris threw pumpkin guts at John. Simon watched from the sideline, chortling to himself. Karl grabbed Anton and switched on the lights.
“GUYS, IT’S JUST THESE TWO IDIOTS.” He yelled over the screaming. Everyone froze. Chris dripped all over the floor. John started cracking up.
“I ca-I can’t pffff ahahahah,” the laughter continued to hamper his speech, “you ahahah fell for that. Oh maaahahahn.”
Anton smacked John upside the head haphazardly from his perch in Karl’s lap. “THAT WASN’T FUNNY. YOU ALMOST MADE M-- JIMMY CRAP HIS PANTS.”
“YEA-- HEY!”
Jacob was just starting to regain his cognitive abilities and acted accordingly. “N-not funny. I thought they died. I thought we were going to die!” he clutched the right side of his chest protectively, then realized that was the wrong side and switched to the left.
Karl snorted. “John, you’re a genius. Did you see them? Oh, man.” Karl started cracking up. “Poor little kids were scared shitless”
Anton pouted, he wasn’t a kid. “Damnit, Karl! I’m not a kid!”
“So you admit to being scared shitless.” John added dryly.
Anton didn’t dare speak after that, he was too embarrassed.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room a slippery Chris was wrestling the pineapple-sliced, ketchup-bloodied Zach to the ground.
---
“Chris... Wha--?” Zach looked up hazily at the carving knife stuck in the wall next to him as he groped his shredded costume.
Fumbling in his rather round costume, Chris pulled out a brand new bottle of ketchup “Shhhhh, dude just let it happen.”
---
Zach still wasn’t happy with being bathed in sugary tomato paste but at least it gave him a chance to smear something equally, if not more, disgusting on Chris. Mixing the two together really didn’t help the situation. Not at all.
“Pin me down with your strong arms, you pin me down and I try to fight you~” Chris sang as Zach had him pinned down.
“Chris, this is serious. You never apologized for almost killing me.” Zach made a piercing eyebrow movement toward his current sparring partner.
“I told you, it was John’s idea.”
“Nobody tells me anything anymore. I swear, you guys think I can’t keep a secret or something.” Chris’ only response was a laugh crushed by Zach on top of him. “Oh, sorry.” Zach stood up, much to the dismay of an on-looking Zoe and Kristen.
AND THEN THEY HAD SEX. Not Zoe and Kris, but Chris and Zach. No, they moved to the bedroom first, okay? Don’t look at me like that.
Rating: PG-15
Pairings/People: Pinto
Word count: 786
Author: kaidoh_kitty
A/N: Some of the dialogue was stolen from a text conversation my brothers had. Yeah, I don't know what this either.
"Fuck you, Zach, I'm a pumpkin." Chris yelled when he saw Zach's reaction to his costume. "At least I'm not a fruit." He teased.
"Hey, hey. Pineapples are plenty awesome." Zach retorted. "And and and! Pumpkins are fruits, Mr. college education."
"Yeah, yeah. keep rubbing in your fancy acting college, Zach." Playfully, he stuck his tongue out.
“Not my fault they didn’t let us take up any real classes and I had to teach myself.” Zach preened.
“I get it, you’re smart. You don’t have to prove it to me.” Wiggling occurred.
“You okay there?”
“I think my ass is stuck.”
“Typical fat chick response.”
“At least I’m funny.”
“At least I have a nice personality.” They both laughed.
“Just let out your inner fat chick, man. Just let her out.” Chris nodded sagely.
“Oh, the wisdom of The Great Pumpkin.” Zach bowed to the orange blob.
Chris picked up a knife used to carve beings such as himself and waved it at Zach. “Watch it, pal.”
Zach scoffed. “What are you going to do? Carve-faces-into-yourself at me? I am literally scared with fear.”
A dark smile crept up on Chris’ face. “Oh, you’ll see.”
Screams could be heard through the apartment complex.
---
“From that day on, every time someone entered the apartment they could smell raw, bloody pineapples and pumpkins.” John told Anton, Jacob and Jimmy.
“There’s no way that happened!” Jacob argued.
“Oh, it happened.” Karl injected.
“Yeah, sure, and I’m Czar Isaac the Terrible.” Anton huffed as he drew his legs up to his chest.
The older men smiled smugly while Simon snuck to the door and opened it to let certain guests in.
Chris went first, pumpkin guts covering him from head to toe. The smell was awful but it worked to scare the little ones. Jimmy nearly peed himself. Zach came in all his ketchup-blooded glory, sneaking up behind poor Jacob and brushing a pineapple-juiced finger over the back of his neck. “How would you like to get carved?” He whispered in the now paralyzed boy’s ear.
Jacob screamed. Zach screamed. Jimmy screamed. Anton screamed and lunged to hug Karl. Chris threw pumpkin guts at John. Simon watched from the sideline, chortling to himself. Karl grabbed Anton and switched on the lights.
“GUYS, IT’S JUST THESE TWO IDIOTS.” He yelled over the screaming. Everyone froze. Chris dripped all over the floor. John started cracking up.
“I ca-I can’t pffff ahahahah,” the laughter continued to hamper his speech, “you ahahah fell for that. Oh maaahahahn.”
Anton smacked John upside the head haphazardly from his perch in Karl’s lap. “THAT WASN’T FUNNY. YOU ALMOST MADE M-- JIMMY CRAP HIS PANTS.”
“YEA-- HEY!”
Jacob was just starting to regain his cognitive abilities and acted accordingly. “N-not funny. I thought they died. I thought we were going to die!” he clutched the right side of his chest protectively, then realized that was the wrong side and switched to the left.
Karl snorted. “John, you’re a genius. Did you see them? Oh, man.” Karl started cracking up. “Poor little kids were scared shitless”
Anton pouted, he wasn’t a kid. “Damnit, Karl! I’m not a kid!”
“So you admit to being scared shitless.” John added dryly.
Anton didn’t dare speak after that, he was too embarrassed.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room a slippery Chris was wrestling the pineapple-sliced, ketchup-bloodied Zach to the ground.
---
“Chris... Wha--?” Zach looked up hazily at the carving knife stuck in the wall next to him as he groped his shredded costume.
Fumbling in his rather round costume, Chris pulled out a brand new bottle of ketchup “Shhhhh, dude just let it happen.”
---
Zach still wasn’t happy with being bathed in sugary tomato paste but at least it gave him a chance to smear something equally, if not more, disgusting on Chris. Mixing the two together really didn’t help the situation. Not at all.
“Pin me down with your strong arms, you pin me down and I try to fight you~” Chris sang as Zach had him pinned down.
“Chris, this is serious. You never apologized for almost killing me.” Zach made a piercing eyebrow movement toward his current sparring partner.
“I told you, it was John’s idea.”
“Nobody tells me anything anymore. I swear, you guys think I can’t keep a secret or something.” Chris’ only response was a laugh crushed by Zach on top of him. “Oh, sorry.” Zach stood up, much to the dismay of an on-looking Zoe and Kristen.
AND THEN THEY HAD SEX. Not Zoe and Kris, but Chris and Zach. No, they moved to the bedroom first, okay? Don’t look at me like that.