Arashi: Tell Me If I'm Yours
AUTHOR: Marineko/mylittlecthulhu
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: Sakuraiba
RATING: G
DATE: May 5th, 2011
WORD COUNT: 5,142
NOTES/DISCLAIMERS: I do not own Arashi. Beta-ed by arashic0804
**This was written for the Japan Earthquake & Tsunami Relief Fund. Thank you, joyeuxnoel, for donating!
Tell Me If I'm Yours
When I'm just so sick of feeling less than perfect
Is it right for me I never fight to see if coming clean
Would get to me I feel myself, holding back
I feel the pressure, it's finally back
- "Are You Ten Years Ago", Tegan and Sara
For all of Sho’s supposed intellectual capacity and maturity and reliability, Aiba knows that he isn’t the littlest bit drawn to likeminded people. It’s kind of funny; Aiba has overheard the female staff talking about them sometimes, when they think they’re not around. He’s overheard various conversations when he’s out, and he’s even participated in some of these conversations - with friends, with family. Everyone seems to have an idea of what the perfect girl for Sho would be like.
She’d be from a good family, of course - although Aiba supposes that it isn’t necessarily a matter of course. She’d be brought up well, at least. She’d be mature and demure but she could be fun when she puts her mind to it, and she’d be sexy but in that subtle kind of way, but mostly she’d be serious, and smart. It’s important that she’s smart. Sho needs someone who’d listen to him and be interested, rather than someone always trying to shut him up or laughing at him… right? Right.
He doesn’t take it too seriously; everyone has ideas about each of them, but he does see how that sort of girl would seem perfect for Sho. Except for the fact that Sho doesn’t seem to go for these girls at all. God knows how many times people have introduced these nice, smart, sexy girls to Sho, and be puzzled to find it didn’t take. Sho never says anything, Sho’s never anything but pleasant to these people, to these girls, but Aiba knows, and he thinks the rest of Arashi knows, too.
Sho likes Aiba. This isn’t much of a secret. Sho’s made a big deal about liking people for their smiles, and everyone’s made a big deal about Aiba’s mega-watt smiles that Nino always says would be perfect if only it had an off button, or failing that, a dimmer to prevent eyes from getting blinded. Aiba knows that people like him, that they find him adorable, that he’s sweet, that he has a big heart, that he isn’t very smart. It had been like that since the day he showed up at the audition with his stupid basketball; everyone assumes that he must be some kind of idiot, and in all honesty, he doesn’t really care. When he debuted, it didn’t take long for him to take over that role, the one of the guy who must keep his head stuffed with fluff, it seems, because it takes him awhile to get things and he says things wrong sometimes and he gets a little tongue-tied if Sho as much as looked at him during filming (he hopes no one else notices) and sometimes his thoughts race through faster than he could think them.
Okay, so maybe they were right. It didn’t matter, because he really doesn’t care about things like that. He could be an idiot or a genius or both, but in the end, he was just himself, wasn’t he? He tried to explain this to Nino once, when they were both engaged in some kind of lame drinking contest in MatsuJun’s hotel room, while MatsuJun tried unsuccessfully to prevent them from ordering porn from the pay-per-view, but Nino just rolled his eyes and said duh, Aiba, how thick can you get? and that had been the end of it. Well, the porn had been the end of it, because MatsuJun was stuck with the bill the next morning and neither he nor Nino claimed to remember anything and MatsuJun was all red and blushing at checkout as their manager explained that he couldn’t include that in Arashi’s expenses.
That had been funny.
Jun had been cute back then, and was pretty dorky. Sho liked Jun then. Aiba hadn’t put much thought about what or who Sho liked then, but he’d known that Sho liked Jun. He acted all annoyed with Jun’s open adoration, but Aiba had seen the way Sho’s eyes would soften when he thinks no one sees him looking at Jun, and he had seen the way Sho lit up in amusement when Jun did anything he found particularly funny. He had never really thought of Sho in any way other than as a band mate and an occasional friend back then, but seeing Sho that way made him feel… strange. Like he wanted to be on the receiving end of those looks, instead of watching from afar. Not that he’d ever admit to any of those thoughts, anymore than Sho would admit to his feelings for Jun. So for years, it had been like that - Sho watching Jun, and Aiba watching Sho watching Jun.
})i({
As the years went, Aiba saw that Sho’s interest in Jun fade away into an easy friendship. If it coincided with Jun growing up, and becoming more withdrawn, no one else noticed. Jun had been funny and cute, Aiba would think. He was growing up into a more self-assured, beautiful young man, one who was probably only second to Sho when it came to being capable enough to manage the rest of them. Jun began to take on more responsibilities, and became the kind of perfectionist that sometimes rattled the rest of them. Sho still loved Jun, of course - Aiba could see that. But it’s a different love, the love that all of them have for each other. It’s not the way Aiba loved Sho.
Aiba had been bewildered at first. Then he starts to notice the girls Sho gravitated towards. There were a few boys, too, but not many. Sho said they took more work, and it’s mostly never worth it. Girl or boy, they’re all the same, though, as far as Aiba is concerned. They’re all funny and cute and smiled a little too much and they all have eyes that start to glaze over when Sho starts talking about anything remotely serious. They all tended to cling to him and call him all the time even when they know that he’s busy. Aiba doesn’t know why this doesn’t irritate Sho, but it doesn’t. They rarely last long, though - Aiba’s seen a rotation of these girls throughout weeks and months, until their faces and names become a blur to him.
“I don’t know why you bother introducing them to me,” he says to Sho, as they enter the greenroom together. They’re early; no one else is around. Sho hangs his coat up and holds out his hand for Aiba’s.
“What do you mean?” Sho asks. His current girl - Yuki? Yukari? Akari? - had dropped him off at the studio and Aiba happened to see them. Sho had immediately called him over to introduce her.
“Nothing,” Aiba replies, subdued. “Just wondering how long this one is gonna last,” he mutters to himself. Sho probably hears him, because the newscaster is frowning.
“Do you have a problem with Yukari?”
So it’s Yukari after all, Aiba thinks. Good to know. Probably. He shakes his head. “I don’t want to get into this.”
“Oh, I think you do.” Sho stands before Aiba, one hand clasping lightly over Aiba’s elbow to stall him. “I think you’ve been wanting to get into this for some time now.”
Aiba wavers, wondering if he should tell Sho, but then he hears the footsteps outside and steps back, pulling his arm away. He laughs, wincing slightly at the loudness, and says, “Sho-chan, don’t be silly”, just as Nino walks in. Nino pauses, perhaps sensing the underlying tension between them, and asks what’s going on. Aiba said that Sho was just being weird and proceeded to make up some funny thing that Sho supposedly did, cracking Nino up, and somehow they knew that this story is going to make it into future interviews even though they knew that it never happened.
})i({
Aiba feels Sho’s eyes on him during filming. He acts like he doesn’t notice, and when it gets too obvious, he acts like he doesn’t care. He fools around with Nino, and he teases MatsuJun, and when Ohno says he’s been in top form that day he gives him an exaggerated hug. This is the Aiba everyone knows and loves, after all, he tells himself. This is the Aiba that wins out in the end.
})i({
When Sho starts looking at him the way he used to look at Jun, Aiba’s surprised to find that he’s more resigned than happy. Once, all those years ago, he would’ve given anything for Sho to pay him that kind of attention. But he supposes that he’s older now, and he’s had all that time in between to see that Sho’s attention never lasts.
He isn’t surprised when Sho kisses him. He had been particularly bubbly that evening, overexcited because one of the guests on their show is a friend that he hadn’t seen in awhile. Even with Nino coming in between them whenever he could, Sho’s hand presses on Aiba’s back during Giant Crash. This in itself isn’t too strange of late, but instead of tensing or shifting slightly away or hinting for Nino to interfere, this time Aiba unconsciously leans into the touch. He straightens up the moment he notices, of course, but by then it’s too late, and he finds himself thinking that the fans are going to have a field day when the episode airs.
When filming is over, Ohno darts out immediately, chased by a Nino who’s still trying to get Ohno to have a drink with him. It’s getting to be a big joke, one that Nino tells over and over, and all of them had wondered if Nino even wants Ohno to go out with him now, when that would mean the end of the joke. MatsuJun putters around for a bit, talking to Aiba, but Aiba’s taking too long packing the very few belongings he’d brought with him, so the younger man ended up waving goodbye at him and leaving. Sho lingers for no reason, it seems, and Aiba’s about to call him out on that when Sho presses against him, pulling Aiba down for the kiss. Aiba’s lips part for Sho before he knows it, and his fingers immediately reach out to curl on the fabric of Sho’s shirt, as if trying to figure out if he’s about to pull Sho closer or push Sho away. Then he hears himself sighing softly and he thinks please stop me but Sho can’t hear him and besides he knows that if Sho stops him he’s only going to start it all over again.
})i({
At first he’s scared that Sho would tell him it’s a mistake. He isn’t too sure that it isn’t, but he doesn’t want or need Sho telling him that. So Aiba plays along, as if it’s one big fun game. He knows what Sho likes, and it’s easy enough to be sweet and adorable and maybe a little silly, since he plays that guy all the time on television and before crowds. Sho’s just another audience of the ongoing Aiba Masaki Show.
He hadn’t counted on it being so tiring. He isn’t really that much of a talker in the first place, and now entertaining Sho is becoming a full time job. He’s tired of smiling and he’s tired of coming up with stupid jokes and he’s tired of playing dumb. All those things had been fun when it’s for television, and maybe a large part of it even comes naturally to him, but it isn’t all of him and it’s tiring to pretend that it is.
The problem is, he isn’t tired of Sho, and he suspects that he may never be.
})i({
It’s hard to talk when Sho’s touching him, even when it’s only a playful kiss, stolen because it just so happens that they’re alone in the greenroom. Aiba thinks that he’s doing well, considering. If he concentrates hard enough, he remembers the words that are supposed to follow.
“Sho, what are we doing?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious what we’re doing,” Sho says, his voice thick and amused. He’s still too close, leaning over Aiba, who is leaning against the wall, but they’re not touching. Aiba thinks about how it feels like he has his heart in his throat when Sho looks at him, and really it’s amazing how he’d survived so many years like that.
“No, I don’t mean this, now. I mean this.” Aiba’s hand gestures in vain to capture his meaning. Sho understands, though, and straightens up. Aiba almost regrets speaking up then, because a part of him is angling for more of Sho, but he reminds himself that it’s for the best.
Sho’s eyes are guarded as he looks at Aiba, and he asks, carefully, “if you weren’t sure, why didn’t you ask me this before?” He waits; Aiba’s mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out. “We’ve been together for two months, Masaki.”
Aiba’s mouth closes, and he swallows. Sho doesn’t really call him by his name very often. Usually he only does it when he wants Aiba to stop doing something, or when he’s mad. Aiba thinks that making out in secret every chance they get isn’t the same as being “together”, but he supposes that it isn’t the time to quibble about terminology.
“I don’t know,” he finally says. He looks away. It’s funny, he thinks, how he’s the taller one but Sho makes him feel small sometimes. Even when he knows that Sho’s the one who’s wrong. “I guess I thought you’d be moving on by now.”
Sho’s forehead creases; his voice is even. “What do you mean.”
For someone so smart, Sho frustrates Aiba sometimes. Most of the time. “Nothing,” he says. “I mean nothing.”
“Masaki.”
Aiba smiles, then. Bright and wide and not trembly at all. “Sho-chan.”
Sho almost smiles back - he could see the smile coming - but then he shakes his head, and mutters under his breath. Aiba thinks that Sho’s saying …not fooling me this time, but he isn’t sure. “Just tell me what’s going on.”
Fuck it, Aiba decides. He hadn’t counted on it lasting this long anyway, so why be afraid of screwing it all up? So he tells Sho about how none of Sho’s lovers had ever lasted past the two-month mark and how he doesn’t know what they’re doing, because it couldn’t be very smart, fooling around with one’s band mate. He tells Sho that he hasn’t said anything because he knows it’s going to end soon enough, but now it still hasn’t ended and he doesn’t know what’s going on.
After he’s done Sho is silent for a long time. Aiba gets uncomfortable as Sho just looks at him, not with longing or light or amusement or any of the expressions he’s used to, but an unreadable something else, something like disappointment. Dread and unease coils in his stomach, twisting, cold, and he wants to bolt, he really does, but he also wants Sho to say something.
Sho lets out a long sigh, and steps back, but he’s still looking at Aiba when he says, “Aiba, you’re so stupid.”
Sho’s the stupid one, Aiba wants to say, but his heart is still caught in his throat and he feels like he’s going to be sick and by the time he thinks he could manage to speak without his voice breaking, Sho has already left.
})i({
Ohno isn’t very good at talking, but unlike Aiba, he gets away with it more often than not. When they’re doing their photo shoot together they don’t speak, although Ohno makes funny faces when they’re squished into some weird box-like thing together that Aiba forgets how he thinks that the photographer must be a nut-job and just burst into delighted giggles. He relaxes immediately, and makes his own funny faces in return, but his aren’t as good as Ohno’s.
After work they head out for some yakiniku. Aiba knows that he’s probably not going to remember much of what they say to each other, but that’s okay, because he doubts that they ever have anything of substance to say to each other in the first place. And that’s alright, too, because Aiba likes his leader just the way he is, and besides he gets enough serious talk from MatsuJun. Ohno never asks him if something’s wrong just because he’s quieter than people are used to, or laugh at him if he suddenly gets into random, passionate bursts of conversation.
Which is why it surprises him when Ohno suddenly coughs, and says, in that way that he usually speaks, that sounds like he’s swallowing his own words, “you know, about Sho-kun…”
Aiba could feel himself closing up before he even does it. He wonders if his face looks as blank as he feels. “That’s old news,” he says as breezily as he could. “Really, Riida.”
Ohno really isn’t used to being a leader, despite years of practice. Aiba could see that he isn’t any more comfortable with the conversation than Aiba is. And whatever problems Aiba has with Sho - of which there are none, Aiba insists - he never brings them to work, so Ohno doesn’t really have a concrete reason to butt in. Other than being a friend, of course, and Aiba knows that Ohno is genuinely concerned, which makes hi m feel guilty.
Taking pity on the confused look on Ohno’s face, Aiba laughs, saying that he just remembered something funny, and changes the subject.
})i({
Ohno hasn’t let go of the subject, Aiba realizes a few days later. He’s just passed the baton. Why else would Jun be in the greenroom so early, when he’s usually one of the last to arrive if they’re scheduled to be there in the morning? “Good morning, MatsuJun!” he calls out cheerfully as he enters the room. Jun jerks a little, and he immediately reach for the coffee he had before him.
“’morning,” Jun mutters back.
Well, Aiba thinks. This is going to be easy - Jun obviously isn’t in the mood to talk. And Jun’s presence is actually welcome, because usually Sho arrives after Aiba, and he doesn’t want to be alone with Sho. But just when he’s getting out the latest volume of the manga he’s following, and settles on the couch to read it while waiting for the rest, Jun launches his attack.
“Look, whatever it is that’s happening with Sho… fix it.”
Aiba is quiet for a moment as he digested Jun’s words. Then he says, “I’m not the one doing it.”
“You know what, I don’t care who’s doing whatever it is. Just be the bigger person and do something about it. It’s easier for you that it’d be for him.” It’s a little gratifying to know that Jun thinks he’s more capable of fixing the problem than Sho is, but Aiba guesses that Jun doesn’t know it’s him who had started it in the first place.
“This is between me and him,” he tells Jun firmly. “It doesn’t have anything to do with Arashi.”
“Aiba.” Jun leans towards him. “You’re miserable. He’s miserable. You really think this doesn’t affect us?”
Aiba has no answer to that. Jun just smiles, then, and ruffles Aiba’s hair in a very Nino fashion. “Think about it, okay?”
“Okay.” What else could he say? Plus, he could hear footsteps coming in, and so does Jun. The younger man pulls his hands from Aiba and settles back on the couch just as Sho walks in.
Sho looks at them. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Jun and Aiba chorused, before looking at each other and smiling conspiratorially. Sho hates being left out of anything, and they love to take advantage of that. This time, though, Sho doesn’t go through his usual act of being indignant and trying to make them tell him. He just looks at them, nods, and takes out his newspaper.
})i({
Aiba waits for Nino’s intervention, but it doesn’t come. He waits for a week, and then two, and still there’s nothing. In the meantime he and Sho has fallen into a somewhat easy friendship again. Things are getting better, definitely. Sometimes he catches Sho looking at him the way he used to, but he laughs it off, pretends he doesn’t see. Sometimes Sho sits too close or lays a hand on his shoulder or his back; he moves away or stiffens so that Sho pulls back. Sometimes Nino comes between them - if this is Nino’s idea of intervention, then Aiba welcomes it more than Jun’s or Ohno’s.
He’s supposed to drag Nino home that evening, because his mother says Nino’s getting too skinny for his own good and he knows that she isn’t going to rest until she gets a chance to feed his friend. So Aiba stays back when his interview is done, wondering aimlessly in the cafeteria and chatting with any friends or acquaintances he happens to meet there. When it’s about time for Nino to be done, he goes back up to the greenroom.
He stops before entering because he could hear laughter. Sho’s, and Nino’s. They’re pretty close, so it isn’t strange that they’d be enjoying each other’s company, but Aiba smiles as he listens. He hadn’t heard either of them sound so relaxed in awhile. It eases something in him, a worry that he didn’t even realize he’d been keeping. He waits until the sound quiets down before pushing the door open, calling for “Nino-chan”, and grinning when Nino’s face twists into a mock grimace at the nickname.
“You can’t escape this time; my mom says she’ll hunt you down if you don’t come over and eat something.”
She really would, too.
Nino takes it in stride, waving goodbye to Sho and taking Aiba’s hand as they leave.
“Aren’t you going to ask me about Sho?” Aiba asks, when Nino is fiddling with his car radio.
Nino finds a channel he likes, and sits back. “No,” he says. “Should I?”
Aiba shrugs. “It’s just that everyone else has.”
“Who else?”
“Riida. MatsuJun.”
“Ah.” Nino nods. “Well. I think you know what you’re doing, what you have to do, if you have to do anything at all. You don’t need me to tell you anything.”
“Our time had gone over its expiry date, that’s all.” Aiba speaks lightly, although he doesn’t know how much of it is a joke.
Nino seems to disapprove of that. He turns to Aiba, saying, “Sho-chan really likes you, you know.”
“I know,” Aiba replies. “But it doesn’t last.” It can’t last, he thinks. He thinks of how MatsuJun has loosened up more these days, how he’s cute again, like he used to be when he was younger. Sho’s noticing MatsuJun again, too, these days.
Nino frowns, but doesn’t answer him. As they drive the rest of the way in silence, Aiba realizes that he really wanted Nino to tell him that he’s wrong.
})i({
Aiba sees Sho with the kind of girl who’d care a lot about her work, perhaps more than she would about the kinds of things he sees in girly magazines. He’d never quite understood those magazines, even though he’s appeared in them often enough. Perhaps the kind of girl who, like Sho, is even sort of a dork sometimes. Someone who’d take care of all the details Sho would forget, someone who might throw out Sho’s ugly fake jeans. Someone who’d be reading in the train or the bus about things she could talk to him about later.
Someone like Jun, maybe.
Aiba notices that Sho’s starting to gravitate towards Jun again, and he doesn’t know what to think. At first he thinks that he’s jealous, but when he sees them engaged in conversation between takes he realizes that that isn’t it, not really. Of course, he wishes that Sho would like him the way he likes Jun. But Aiba honestly thinks that they make a good pair. Watching them, he feels hollow, like everything about him that is lacking is being emphasized, but he’s also hoping that two of his favourite people would be happy.
None of this matters at the moment, because Nino had called him up at midnight, gloating about how he found out where Ohno lives. This comes as a surprise to Aiba; he had thought that they all knew where Ohno lives. But when he tries to remember the address, he realizes that he only knows the vague location of their leader’s apartment, and since none of them had ever been there before, even that isn’t really verified. Aiba meets up with Nino and they show up at Ohno’s apartment uninvited with a case of beer (in case they don’t catch him in the best of moods). Only when they’ve rung the doorbell Aiba thinks, what if Riida has someone over? What if Riida gets really mad?
Just as he thinks this the door opens, and they see Ohno blinking at them. Aiba thinks a full minute might have passed before Ohno finally asks, “are you guys lost?”
Nino has hidden behind Aiba and pressing the beer against his back. It’s cold, and it doesn’t help. Aiba tries to think of an excuse, but really, he knows that they look like big fat stalkers and the fact that they’re in the same band doesn’t really change that. But before he could apologize Ohno pushes open the door and tells them to come in.
The three of them end up eating cup ramen with their beer and watching some lame soppy film on cable, and Aiba starts talking about how he missed this from when they were younger. This sets Ohno off, and Nino ends up taking out his DS as the other two reminisced.
Just as the movie is ending, the doorbell rings again. Ohno doesn’t look surprised this time, as he gets up to open the door. Sho and Jun appears; both look disgruntled to be there at such an odd hour, but Aiba suspects that Jun’s annoyed because they have to work early the next day and Sho’s annoyed that he and Nino hadn’t thought to invite him along in the first place.
Nino is annoyed because he thinks that Ohno’s place should be his and Aiba’s secret. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” he asks.
“Riida called us over,” Jun answers coolly. “Says he needs help in kicking a couple of pests out.”
They end up sleeping over as well.
})i({
Aiba doesn’t sleep well. He keeps waking up and having to remind himself where he is and why. Ohno’s apartment isn’t big, and three of them take up most of the living room. Ohno sleeps in his own room, with Nino, who insists on sharing the futon, saying his back would get worse if he sleeps on the floor. Since there’s at least one couch, Aiba doesn’t think the excuse is a particularly good one, but no one else said anything. Sho, Aiba and Jun decide to play rock-paper-scissors to see who’d get the couch; Jun wins.
Sho’s too close and he can’t sleep, so he listens to Sho’s breathing until he’s too tired but then he wakes again. The fourth or fifth time he wakes, Sho is looking back at him.
“Can’t sleep?”
Aiba mumbles something unintelligible; even he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Sho lifts the cover of the blanket Ohno had thrown in his direction before going to bed, inviting Aiba to share it. Aiba doesn’t think about consequences or definitions, he just wants sleep. He moves closer, feels Sho wrap the blanket around them before throwing his arm around Aiba. Feeling Sho’s hand rub his back soothingly, Aiba breathes in and closes his eyes, and soon he’s fast asleep.
})i({
They ride to work in silence. Aiba sits next to Nino, and doesn’t look at Sho throughout filming. It’s only during their break that Jun asks Nino and Ohno to leave their waiting room with him, and says tersely, “fix it”, before closing the door on them.
Aiba looks at Sho, who doesn’t seem fazed, so he assumes that Sho have heard Jun’s “fix it” speech before. “He’s not wrong, you know,” Sho says. Aiba looks away.
“I thought we’ve been through this,” Aiba says. He doesn’t know what to think about the night before, so he pushes it away from his mind. “You like MatsuJun now anyway, don’t you? Don’t lie,” he says, when Sho’s eyes widen. “I have eyes.”
“I liked Jun once, yes,” Sho admits. “But he’s never seen me that way, Aiba. And more importantly, you’re the one I want, now.”
“You don’t even know me. I know what, or who, ‘Aiba’ is to you. It’s tiring, and I can’t be him anymore.”
“You think we’ve only just met? That I haven’t seen you, known you since we were kids? What I don’t get is why you tried so hard to be someone you’re not. Well, not really, since you’re that guy, too, but you’re also you. So why are you just trying to be one without the other?”
“I thought he’s the one you wanted,” Aiba admits. “I thought that if I get too serious you might get bored of me.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Yeah, Nino told me.”
Sho hesitates. “Does that mean that you like me, then? That you weren’t just playing along, hoping that I’d get over you and move on?”
Aiba’s expression is somewhat pinched. “Is that what you thought?”
“What else was I supposed to think, after what you told me?”
“I don’t know. Not that.” Aiba is quiet, contemplative. “I like you, Sho-chan. That’s not going to change.”
“I like you; that’s not going to change, either.”
“Even when I’m not so fun to be around?”
“Even then.”
“Even if Jun suddenly confesses to you?”
“That’s not likely to happen, but… yes. Even then.”
“Even if sometimes I don’t know half of what you’re talking about most of the time, and don’t really care?”
Sho’s eyes lights up with amusement. “Even then, yes. Maybe especially then.”
“What if when I -“
“Aiba,” Sho interrupts. “Even then. Okay?”
It takes awhile for it to sink in; Sho loves him. He feels the smile spreading on his face, bright and wide and perhaps a little trembly from the overflow of feelings, and as Sho returns his smile he moves forwards, but the door to the waiting room bursts open, and they both turn towards it.
“You guys done yet?” Jun sounds impatient and a little irritated. “Break’s over.”
Nino’s complaining about not getting to nap on the couch like he had wanted to, but Aiba ignores him. He knows that Nino would only be on his DS and not get a wink of sleep. Sho tells Jun that they’re coming. He waits until Jun and Nino are gone before taking Aiba’s hand.
“Let’s go,” Sho says.
Aiba’s only too happy to oblige.
~ the end ~
Marineko's Notes:
joyeuxnoel - I hope you enjoyed it!
Oh, the Aimiya+Jun and porn episode was actually something that happened with BUMP OF CHICKEN that I found hilarious(ly Aimiya-like) and couldn't resist including, but this version is somewhat different ^^
And it's 4am and I need to get ready for work in a couple of hours so I think I won't say more now and try to get some sleep first XD
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: Sakuraiba
RATING: G
DATE: May 5th, 2011
WORD COUNT: 5,142
NOTES/DISCLAIMERS: I do not own Arashi. Beta-ed by arashic0804
**This was written for the Japan Earthquake & Tsunami Relief Fund. Thank you, joyeuxnoel, for donating!
Tell Me If I'm Yours
When I'm just so sick of feeling less than perfect
Is it right for me I never fight to see if coming clean
Would get to me I feel myself, holding back
I feel the pressure, it's finally back
- "Are You Ten Years Ago", Tegan and Sara
For all of Sho’s supposed intellectual capacity and maturity and reliability, Aiba knows that he isn’t the littlest bit drawn to likeminded people. It’s kind of funny; Aiba has overheard the female staff talking about them sometimes, when they think they’re not around. He’s overheard various conversations when he’s out, and he’s even participated in some of these conversations - with friends, with family. Everyone seems to have an idea of what the perfect girl for Sho would be like.
She’d be from a good family, of course - although Aiba supposes that it isn’t necessarily a matter of course. She’d be brought up well, at least. She’d be mature and demure but she could be fun when she puts her mind to it, and she’d be sexy but in that subtle kind of way, but mostly she’d be serious, and smart. It’s important that she’s smart. Sho needs someone who’d listen to him and be interested, rather than someone always trying to shut him up or laughing at him… right? Right.
He doesn’t take it too seriously; everyone has ideas about each of them, but he does see how that sort of girl would seem perfect for Sho. Except for the fact that Sho doesn’t seem to go for these girls at all. God knows how many times people have introduced these nice, smart, sexy girls to Sho, and be puzzled to find it didn’t take. Sho never says anything, Sho’s never anything but pleasant to these people, to these girls, but Aiba knows, and he thinks the rest of Arashi knows, too.
Sho likes Aiba. This isn’t much of a secret. Sho’s made a big deal about liking people for their smiles, and everyone’s made a big deal about Aiba’s mega-watt smiles that Nino always says would be perfect if only it had an off button, or failing that, a dimmer to prevent eyes from getting blinded. Aiba knows that people like him, that they find him adorable, that he’s sweet, that he has a big heart, that he isn’t very smart. It had been like that since the day he showed up at the audition with his stupid basketball; everyone assumes that he must be some kind of idiot, and in all honesty, he doesn’t really care. When he debuted, it didn’t take long for him to take over that role, the one of the guy who must keep his head stuffed with fluff, it seems, because it takes him awhile to get things and he says things wrong sometimes and he gets a little tongue-tied if Sho as much as looked at him during filming (he hopes no one else notices) and sometimes his thoughts race through faster than he could think them.
Okay, so maybe they were right. It didn’t matter, because he really doesn’t care about things like that. He could be an idiot or a genius or both, but in the end, he was just himself, wasn’t he? He tried to explain this to Nino once, when they were both engaged in some kind of lame drinking contest in MatsuJun’s hotel room, while MatsuJun tried unsuccessfully to prevent them from ordering porn from the pay-per-view, but Nino just rolled his eyes and said duh, Aiba, how thick can you get? and that had been the end of it. Well, the porn had been the end of it, because MatsuJun was stuck with the bill the next morning and neither he nor Nino claimed to remember anything and MatsuJun was all red and blushing at checkout as their manager explained that he couldn’t include that in Arashi’s expenses.
That had been funny.
Jun had been cute back then, and was pretty dorky. Sho liked Jun then. Aiba hadn’t put much thought about what or who Sho liked then, but he’d known that Sho liked Jun. He acted all annoyed with Jun’s open adoration, but Aiba had seen the way Sho’s eyes would soften when he thinks no one sees him looking at Jun, and he had seen the way Sho lit up in amusement when Jun did anything he found particularly funny. He had never really thought of Sho in any way other than as a band mate and an occasional friend back then, but seeing Sho that way made him feel… strange. Like he wanted to be on the receiving end of those looks, instead of watching from afar. Not that he’d ever admit to any of those thoughts, anymore than Sho would admit to his feelings for Jun. So for years, it had been like that - Sho watching Jun, and Aiba watching Sho watching Jun.
})i({
As the years went, Aiba saw that Sho’s interest in Jun fade away into an easy friendship. If it coincided with Jun growing up, and becoming more withdrawn, no one else noticed. Jun had been funny and cute, Aiba would think. He was growing up into a more self-assured, beautiful young man, one who was probably only second to Sho when it came to being capable enough to manage the rest of them. Jun began to take on more responsibilities, and became the kind of perfectionist that sometimes rattled the rest of them. Sho still loved Jun, of course - Aiba could see that. But it’s a different love, the love that all of them have for each other. It’s not the way Aiba loved Sho.
Aiba had been bewildered at first. Then he starts to notice the girls Sho gravitated towards. There were a few boys, too, but not many. Sho said they took more work, and it’s mostly never worth it. Girl or boy, they’re all the same, though, as far as Aiba is concerned. They’re all funny and cute and smiled a little too much and they all have eyes that start to glaze over when Sho starts talking about anything remotely serious. They all tended to cling to him and call him all the time even when they know that he’s busy. Aiba doesn’t know why this doesn’t irritate Sho, but it doesn’t. They rarely last long, though - Aiba’s seen a rotation of these girls throughout weeks and months, until their faces and names become a blur to him.
“I don’t know why you bother introducing them to me,” he says to Sho, as they enter the greenroom together. They’re early; no one else is around. Sho hangs his coat up and holds out his hand for Aiba’s.
“What do you mean?” Sho asks. His current girl - Yuki? Yukari? Akari? - had dropped him off at the studio and Aiba happened to see them. Sho had immediately called him over to introduce her.
“Nothing,” Aiba replies, subdued. “Just wondering how long this one is gonna last,” he mutters to himself. Sho probably hears him, because the newscaster is frowning.
“Do you have a problem with Yukari?”
So it’s Yukari after all, Aiba thinks. Good to know. Probably. He shakes his head. “I don’t want to get into this.”
“Oh, I think you do.” Sho stands before Aiba, one hand clasping lightly over Aiba’s elbow to stall him. “I think you’ve been wanting to get into this for some time now.”
Aiba wavers, wondering if he should tell Sho, but then he hears the footsteps outside and steps back, pulling his arm away. He laughs, wincing slightly at the loudness, and says, “Sho-chan, don’t be silly”, just as Nino walks in. Nino pauses, perhaps sensing the underlying tension between them, and asks what’s going on. Aiba said that Sho was just being weird and proceeded to make up some funny thing that Sho supposedly did, cracking Nino up, and somehow they knew that this story is going to make it into future interviews even though they knew that it never happened.
})i({
Aiba feels Sho’s eyes on him during filming. He acts like he doesn’t notice, and when it gets too obvious, he acts like he doesn’t care. He fools around with Nino, and he teases MatsuJun, and when Ohno says he’s been in top form that day he gives him an exaggerated hug. This is the Aiba everyone knows and loves, after all, he tells himself. This is the Aiba that wins out in the end.
})i({
When Sho starts looking at him the way he used to look at Jun, Aiba’s surprised to find that he’s more resigned than happy. Once, all those years ago, he would’ve given anything for Sho to pay him that kind of attention. But he supposes that he’s older now, and he’s had all that time in between to see that Sho’s attention never lasts.
He isn’t surprised when Sho kisses him. He had been particularly bubbly that evening, overexcited because one of the guests on their show is a friend that he hadn’t seen in awhile. Even with Nino coming in between them whenever he could, Sho’s hand presses on Aiba’s back during Giant Crash. This in itself isn’t too strange of late, but instead of tensing or shifting slightly away or hinting for Nino to interfere, this time Aiba unconsciously leans into the touch. He straightens up the moment he notices, of course, but by then it’s too late, and he finds himself thinking that the fans are going to have a field day when the episode airs.
When filming is over, Ohno darts out immediately, chased by a Nino who’s still trying to get Ohno to have a drink with him. It’s getting to be a big joke, one that Nino tells over and over, and all of them had wondered if Nino even wants Ohno to go out with him now, when that would mean the end of the joke. MatsuJun putters around for a bit, talking to Aiba, but Aiba’s taking too long packing the very few belongings he’d brought with him, so the younger man ended up waving goodbye at him and leaving. Sho lingers for no reason, it seems, and Aiba’s about to call him out on that when Sho presses against him, pulling Aiba down for the kiss. Aiba’s lips part for Sho before he knows it, and his fingers immediately reach out to curl on the fabric of Sho’s shirt, as if trying to figure out if he’s about to pull Sho closer or push Sho away. Then he hears himself sighing softly and he thinks please stop me but Sho can’t hear him and besides he knows that if Sho stops him he’s only going to start it all over again.
})i({
At first he’s scared that Sho would tell him it’s a mistake. He isn’t too sure that it isn’t, but he doesn’t want or need Sho telling him that. So Aiba plays along, as if it’s one big fun game. He knows what Sho likes, and it’s easy enough to be sweet and adorable and maybe a little silly, since he plays that guy all the time on television and before crowds. Sho’s just another audience of the ongoing Aiba Masaki Show.
He hadn’t counted on it being so tiring. He isn’t really that much of a talker in the first place, and now entertaining Sho is becoming a full time job. He’s tired of smiling and he’s tired of coming up with stupid jokes and he’s tired of playing dumb. All those things had been fun when it’s for television, and maybe a large part of it even comes naturally to him, but it isn’t all of him and it’s tiring to pretend that it is.
The problem is, he isn’t tired of Sho, and he suspects that he may never be.
})i({
It’s hard to talk when Sho’s touching him, even when it’s only a playful kiss, stolen because it just so happens that they’re alone in the greenroom. Aiba thinks that he’s doing well, considering. If he concentrates hard enough, he remembers the words that are supposed to follow.
“Sho, what are we doing?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious what we’re doing,” Sho says, his voice thick and amused. He’s still too close, leaning over Aiba, who is leaning against the wall, but they’re not touching. Aiba thinks about how it feels like he has his heart in his throat when Sho looks at him, and really it’s amazing how he’d survived so many years like that.
“No, I don’t mean this, now. I mean this.” Aiba’s hand gestures in vain to capture his meaning. Sho understands, though, and straightens up. Aiba almost regrets speaking up then, because a part of him is angling for more of Sho, but he reminds himself that it’s for the best.
Sho’s eyes are guarded as he looks at Aiba, and he asks, carefully, “if you weren’t sure, why didn’t you ask me this before?” He waits; Aiba’s mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out. “We’ve been together for two months, Masaki.”
Aiba’s mouth closes, and he swallows. Sho doesn’t really call him by his name very often. Usually he only does it when he wants Aiba to stop doing something, or when he’s mad. Aiba thinks that making out in secret every chance they get isn’t the same as being “together”, but he supposes that it isn’t the time to quibble about terminology.
“I don’t know,” he finally says. He looks away. It’s funny, he thinks, how he’s the taller one but Sho makes him feel small sometimes. Even when he knows that Sho’s the one who’s wrong. “I guess I thought you’d be moving on by now.”
Sho’s forehead creases; his voice is even. “What do you mean.”
For someone so smart, Sho frustrates Aiba sometimes. Most of the time. “Nothing,” he says. “I mean nothing.”
“Masaki.”
Aiba smiles, then. Bright and wide and not trembly at all. “Sho-chan.”
Sho almost smiles back - he could see the smile coming - but then he shakes his head, and mutters under his breath. Aiba thinks that Sho’s saying …not fooling me this time, but he isn’t sure. “Just tell me what’s going on.”
Fuck it, Aiba decides. He hadn’t counted on it lasting this long anyway, so why be afraid of screwing it all up? So he tells Sho about how none of Sho’s lovers had ever lasted past the two-month mark and how he doesn’t know what they’re doing, because it couldn’t be very smart, fooling around with one’s band mate. He tells Sho that he hasn’t said anything because he knows it’s going to end soon enough, but now it still hasn’t ended and he doesn’t know what’s going on.
After he’s done Sho is silent for a long time. Aiba gets uncomfortable as Sho just looks at him, not with longing or light or amusement or any of the expressions he’s used to, but an unreadable something else, something like disappointment. Dread and unease coils in his stomach, twisting, cold, and he wants to bolt, he really does, but he also wants Sho to say something.
Sho lets out a long sigh, and steps back, but he’s still looking at Aiba when he says, “Aiba, you’re so stupid.”
Sho’s the stupid one, Aiba wants to say, but his heart is still caught in his throat and he feels like he’s going to be sick and by the time he thinks he could manage to speak without his voice breaking, Sho has already left.
})i({
Ohno isn’t very good at talking, but unlike Aiba, he gets away with it more often than not. When they’re doing their photo shoot together they don’t speak, although Ohno makes funny faces when they’re squished into some weird box-like thing together that Aiba forgets how he thinks that the photographer must be a nut-job and just burst into delighted giggles. He relaxes immediately, and makes his own funny faces in return, but his aren’t as good as Ohno’s.
After work they head out for some yakiniku. Aiba knows that he’s probably not going to remember much of what they say to each other, but that’s okay, because he doubts that they ever have anything of substance to say to each other in the first place. And that’s alright, too, because Aiba likes his leader just the way he is, and besides he gets enough serious talk from MatsuJun. Ohno never asks him if something’s wrong just because he’s quieter than people are used to, or laugh at him if he suddenly gets into random, passionate bursts of conversation.
Which is why it surprises him when Ohno suddenly coughs, and says, in that way that he usually speaks, that sounds like he’s swallowing his own words, “you know, about Sho-kun…”
Aiba could feel himself closing up before he even does it. He wonders if his face looks as blank as he feels. “That’s old news,” he says as breezily as he could. “Really, Riida.”
Ohno really isn’t used to being a leader, despite years of practice. Aiba could see that he isn’t any more comfortable with the conversation than Aiba is. And whatever problems Aiba has with Sho - of which there are none, Aiba insists - he never brings them to work, so Ohno doesn’t really have a concrete reason to butt in. Other than being a friend, of course, and Aiba knows that Ohno is genuinely concerned, which makes hi m feel guilty.
Taking pity on the confused look on Ohno’s face, Aiba laughs, saying that he just remembered something funny, and changes the subject.
})i({
Ohno hasn’t let go of the subject, Aiba realizes a few days later. He’s just passed the baton. Why else would Jun be in the greenroom so early, when he’s usually one of the last to arrive if they’re scheduled to be there in the morning? “Good morning, MatsuJun!” he calls out cheerfully as he enters the room. Jun jerks a little, and he immediately reach for the coffee he had before him.
“’morning,” Jun mutters back.
Well, Aiba thinks. This is going to be easy - Jun obviously isn’t in the mood to talk. And Jun’s presence is actually welcome, because usually Sho arrives after Aiba, and he doesn’t want to be alone with Sho. But just when he’s getting out the latest volume of the manga he’s following, and settles on the couch to read it while waiting for the rest, Jun launches his attack.
“Look, whatever it is that’s happening with Sho… fix it.”
Aiba is quiet for a moment as he digested Jun’s words. Then he says, “I’m not the one doing it.”
“You know what, I don’t care who’s doing whatever it is. Just be the bigger person and do something about it. It’s easier for you that it’d be for him.” It’s a little gratifying to know that Jun thinks he’s more capable of fixing the problem than Sho is, but Aiba guesses that Jun doesn’t know it’s him who had started it in the first place.
“This is between me and him,” he tells Jun firmly. “It doesn’t have anything to do with Arashi.”
“Aiba.” Jun leans towards him. “You’re miserable. He’s miserable. You really think this doesn’t affect us?”
Aiba has no answer to that. Jun just smiles, then, and ruffles Aiba’s hair in a very Nino fashion. “Think about it, okay?”
“Okay.” What else could he say? Plus, he could hear footsteps coming in, and so does Jun. The younger man pulls his hands from Aiba and settles back on the couch just as Sho walks in.
Sho looks at them. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Jun and Aiba chorused, before looking at each other and smiling conspiratorially. Sho hates being left out of anything, and they love to take advantage of that. This time, though, Sho doesn’t go through his usual act of being indignant and trying to make them tell him. He just looks at them, nods, and takes out his newspaper.
})i({
Aiba waits for Nino’s intervention, but it doesn’t come. He waits for a week, and then two, and still there’s nothing. In the meantime he and Sho has fallen into a somewhat easy friendship again. Things are getting better, definitely. Sometimes he catches Sho looking at him the way he used to, but he laughs it off, pretends he doesn’t see. Sometimes Sho sits too close or lays a hand on his shoulder or his back; he moves away or stiffens so that Sho pulls back. Sometimes Nino comes between them - if this is Nino’s idea of intervention, then Aiba welcomes it more than Jun’s or Ohno’s.
He’s supposed to drag Nino home that evening, because his mother says Nino’s getting too skinny for his own good and he knows that she isn’t going to rest until she gets a chance to feed his friend. So Aiba stays back when his interview is done, wondering aimlessly in the cafeteria and chatting with any friends or acquaintances he happens to meet there. When it’s about time for Nino to be done, he goes back up to the greenroom.
He stops before entering because he could hear laughter. Sho’s, and Nino’s. They’re pretty close, so it isn’t strange that they’d be enjoying each other’s company, but Aiba smiles as he listens. He hadn’t heard either of them sound so relaxed in awhile. It eases something in him, a worry that he didn’t even realize he’d been keeping. He waits until the sound quiets down before pushing the door open, calling for “Nino-chan”, and grinning when Nino’s face twists into a mock grimace at the nickname.
“You can’t escape this time; my mom says she’ll hunt you down if you don’t come over and eat something.”
She really would, too.
Nino takes it in stride, waving goodbye to Sho and taking Aiba’s hand as they leave.
“Aren’t you going to ask me about Sho?” Aiba asks, when Nino is fiddling with his car radio.
Nino finds a channel he likes, and sits back. “No,” he says. “Should I?”
Aiba shrugs. “It’s just that everyone else has.”
“Who else?”
“Riida. MatsuJun.”
“Ah.” Nino nods. “Well. I think you know what you’re doing, what you have to do, if you have to do anything at all. You don’t need me to tell you anything.”
“Our time had gone over its expiry date, that’s all.” Aiba speaks lightly, although he doesn’t know how much of it is a joke.
Nino seems to disapprove of that. He turns to Aiba, saying, “Sho-chan really likes you, you know.”
“I know,” Aiba replies. “But it doesn’t last.” It can’t last, he thinks. He thinks of how MatsuJun has loosened up more these days, how he’s cute again, like he used to be when he was younger. Sho’s noticing MatsuJun again, too, these days.
Nino frowns, but doesn’t answer him. As they drive the rest of the way in silence, Aiba realizes that he really wanted Nino to tell him that he’s wrong.
})i({
Aiba sees Sho with the kind of girl who’d care a lot about her work, perhaps more than she would about the kinds of things he sees in girly magazines. He’d never quite understood those magazines, even though he’s appeared in them often enough. Perhaps the kind of girl who, like Sho, is even sort of a dork sometimes. Someone who’d take care of all the details Sho would forget, someone who might throw out Sho’s ugly fake jeans. Someone who’d be reading in the train or the bus about things she could talk to him about later.
Someone like Jun, maybe.
Aiba notices that Sho’s starting to gravitate towards Jun again, and he doesn’t know what to think. At first he thinks that he’s jealous, but when he sees them engaged in conversation between takes he realizes that that isn’t it, not really. Of course, he wishes that Sho would like him the way he likes Jun. But Aiba honestly thinks that they make a good pair. Watching them, he feels hollow, like everything about him that is lacking is being emphasized, but he’s also hoping that two of his favourite people would be happy.
None of this matters at the moment, because Nino had called him up at midnight, gloating about how he found out where Ohno lives. This comes as a surprise to Aiba; he had thought that they all knew where Ohno lives. But when he tries to remember the address, he realizes that he only knows the vague location of their leader’s apartment, and since none of them had ever been there before, even that isn’t really verified. Aiba meets up with Nino and they show up at Ohno’s apartment uninvited with a case of beer (in case they don’t catch him in the best of moods). Only when they’ve rung the doorbell Aiba thinks, what if Riida has someone over? What if Riida gets really mad?
Just as he thinks this the door opens, and they see Ohno blinking at them. Aiba thinks a full minute might have passed before Ohno finally asks, “are you guys lost?”
Nino has hidden behind Aiba and pressing the beer against his back. It’s cold, and it doesn’t help. Aiba tries to think of an excuse, but really, he knows that they look like big fat stalkers and the fact that they’re in the same band doesn’t really change that. But before he could apologize Ohno pushes open the door and tells them to come in.
The three of them end up eating cup ramen with their beer and watching some lame soppy film on cable, and Aiba starts talking about how he missed this from when they were younger. This sets Ohno off, and Nino ends up taking out his DS as the other two reminisced.
Just as the movie is ending, the doorbell rings again. Ohno doesn’t look surprised this time, as he gets up to open the door. Sho and Jun appears; both look disgruntled to be there at such an odd hour, but Aiba suspects that Jun’s annoyed because they have to work early the next day and Sho’s annoyed that he and Nino hadn’t thought to invite him along in the first place.
Nino is annoyed because he thinks that Ohno’s place should be his and Aiba’s secret. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” he asks.
“Riida called us over,” Jun answers coolly. “Says he needs help in kicking a couple of pests out.”
They end up sleeping over as well.
})i({
Aiba doesn’t sleep well. He keeps waking up and having to remind himself where he is and why. Ohno’s apartment isn’t big, and three of them take up most of the living room. Ohno sleeps in his own room, with Nino, who insists on sharing the futon, saying his back would get worse if he sleeps on the floor. Since there’s at least one couch, Aiba doesn’t think the excuse is a particularly good one, but no one else said anything. Sho, Aiba and Jun decide to play rock-paper-scissors to see who’d get the couch; Jun wins.
Sho’s too close and he can’t sleep, so he listens to Sho’s breathing until he’s too tired but then he wakes again. The fourth or fifth time he wakes, Sho is looking back at him.
“Can’t sleep?”
Aiba mumbles something unintelligible; even he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Sho lifts the cover of the blanket Ohno had thrown in his direction before going to bed, inviting Aiba to share it. Aiba doesn’t think about consequences or definitions, he just wants sleep. He moves closer, feels Sho wrap the blanket around them before throwing his arm around Aiba. Feeling Sho’s hand rub his back soothingly, Aiba breathes in and closes his eyes, and soon he’s fast asleep.
})i({
They ride to work in silence. Aiba sits next to Nino, and doesn’t look at Sho throughout filming. It’s only during their break that Jun asks Nino and Ohno to leave their waiting room with him, and says tersely, “fix it”, before closing the door on them.
Aiba looks at Sho, who doesn’t seem fazed, so he assumes that Sho have heard Jun’s “fix it” speech before. “He’s not wrong, you know,” Sho says. Aiba looks away.
“I thought we’ve been through this,” Aiba says. He doesn’t know what to think about the night before, so he pushes it away from his mind. “You like MatsuJun now anyway, don’t you? Don’t lie,” he says, when Sho’s eyes widen. “I have eyes.”
“I liked Jun once, yes,” Sho admits. “But he’s never seen me that way, Aiba. And more importantly, you’re the one I want, now.”
“You don’t even know me. I know what, or who, ‘Aiba’ is to you. It’s tiring, and I can’t be him anymore.”
“You think we’ve only just met? That I haven’t seen you, known you since we were kids? What I don’t get is why you tried so hard to be someone you’re not. Well, not really, since you’re that guy, too, but you’re also you. So why are you just trying to be one without the other?”
“I thought he’s the one you wanted,” Aiba admits. “I thought that if I get too serious you might get bored of me.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Yeah, Nino told me.”
Sho hesitates. “Does that mean that you like me, then? That you weren’t just playing along, hoping that I’d get over you and move on?”
Aiba’s expression is somewhat pinched. “Is that what you thought?”
“What else was I supposed to think, after what you told me?”
“I don’t know. Not that.” Aiba is quiet, contemplative. “I like you, Sho-chan. That’s not going to change.”
“I like you; that’s not going to change, either.”
“Even when I’m not so fun to be around?”
“Even then.”
“Even if Jun suddenly confesses to you?”
“That’s not likely to happen, but… yes. Even then.”
“Even if sometimes I don’t know half of what you’re talking about most of the time, and don’t really care?”
Sho’s eyes lights up with amusement. “Even then, yes. Maybe especially then.”
“What if when I -“
“Aiba,” Sho interrupts. “Even then. Okay?”
It takes awhile for it to sink in; Sho loves him. He feels the smile spreading on his face, bright and wide and perhaps a little trembly from the overflow of feelings, and as Sho returns his smile he moves forwards, but the door to the waiting room bursts open, and they both turn towards it.
“You guys done yet?” Jun sounds impatient and a little irritated. “Break’s over.”
Nino’s complaining about not getting to nap on the couch like he had wanted to, but Aiba ignores him. He knows that Nino would only be on his DS and not get a wink of sleep. Sho tells Jun that they’re coming. He waits until Jun and Nino are gone before taking Aiba’s hand.
“Let’s go,” Sho says.
Aiba’s only too happy to oblige.
~ the end ~
Marineko's Notes:
joyeuxnoel - I hope you enjoyed it!
Oh, the Aimiya+Jun and porn episode was actually something that happened with BUMP OF CHICKEN that I found hilarious(ly Aimiya-like) and couldn't resist including, but this version is somewhat different ^^
And it's 4am and I need to get ready for work in a couple of hours so I think I won't say more now and try to get some sleep first XD