Lukewarm Memory, for the cold times...

[kain_du_ciel]

Okay, this is another fic on FFnet that I just kinda like. Really confusing, it's Kingdom Hearts, Sora and Riku. Summary at the end of the fic, and random drabblies.

Lukewarm Memory

He could remember tears soaking into his shirt that morning. Last night's activities escaped him, vague memories clouding his reasoning skills as he tried to think an explanation as to why everything seemed so confusing. There was a gentle warmth at his side, a light weight resting on his chest, yet he found himself only vaguely familiar with the being.

Ocean-blue eyes scanned their surroundings. They were in the secret treehouse. It was a rather old place, wooden planks put together sloppily, done by two children, many years ago. He could remember when he had helped put this together, only eight years old, armed with a hammer and ready to create. A secret spot for just a few, yet it lay forgotten by most...

Except two. He was in there, another lying under his arm's warm embrace. The tears leaked from the corners of closed eyes, sliding down pale cheeks and onto his yellow shirt, the warm liquid uncomfortable as it soaked through to his skin.

Someone was crying.

He was crying.

He could remember his friend crying many times, from when they had first met. It had become almost common, from the pouts to the arguments to the tears... these were common tears.

"But it's true, my mom told me. Santa Claus doesn't exist!"

He sniffled, shaking his head, liquid pooling at the bottom of his crystal-blue orbs. "T-that's not true! He does exist, he's bringing me presents on Wednesday!"

"No..." he replied, shaking his head. "He doesn't exist. Your parents bring them..."

He had begun sobbing then, crying loudly into his hands, and he hugged him, patting his back, telling him he had cried too when he found out.

They were plain and simple, calm tears as he cried. Often, they were loud and noisy, filled with debates on the subject. He didn't cry softly, he had to reason his way through his sobbing. These... they were soft, delicate and almost completely silent. He didn't say a word...

"B-but I worked really hard to get it!"

He sighed, hugging the sobbing boy. "Yes... yes, I know... it's okay, everyone trips..."

The boy clung to him, a mix between a sob and a cough escaping his throat as he bawled. He had a bandaid wrapped around three fingers, his battle scars from trying to collect pieces of broken glass from a figurine he bought for Kairi.

"It's okay... she'll still be your friend..."

"B-but now I don't have a birthday present for her!"

"Okay... my present can be from both of us..."

He always needed to fix the problem, and when he couldn't, he cried noisily. Sometimes, he'd fall silent and try to put on a happy face, but there were times when even those couldn't manage.

"I saw you earlier..." he said softly.

He shook his head, frowning. "It's..." Words failed him, and slowly, he sank to the ground, frowning slightly. "Nothing..."

"It is something... it's okay to tell me..."

He began to cry. "It's so sad... I miss him already! I don't even know why I c-came today..."

He let him cry on his shoulder over the loss of his faithful puppy, when he couldn't claim that it was 'only his pet' any longer.

He offered no explanation. He didn't seem to explain, nor did he seem to want to.

These weren't normal tears.

"Please... tell me..." he said softly.

The chocolate-haired boy shook his head, hand aimlessly reaching forward, reaching out. He siezed it, fingers entwining gently, as he held his friend gently. Soft sobs, almost inaudible, drifted to his ears through the room.

Finally, a choked voice escaped.

"It w-won't last...."

It wouldn't. It never could. His arms tightened, but the boy didn't complain. He buried his face into the taller one's chest, sobs managing to slip through his pinkened lips. Their hands separated, and as he gripped the dark shirt, he pulled it closer to his face, tears bleeding right through onto pale flesh. Arms wrapped tighter around him as he cried.

"It's okay... we'll always be friends... always connected..."

A groggy head finally lifted to meet his, saphire eyes blurry from tears. "B-but I don't want it to end, Riku!" he cried out. "I love this... I love where we are, right now... I love you..."

A small smile formed on Riku's face. "I love you too, Sora... but it has to..."

Sora shook his head, clinging to Riku's shirt. As he began to cry again, Riku had to wonder if it was the alcohol in his friend's blood stream leaking through his mouth. All he could do was wait and comfort, his arms wrapped tighter around the smaller boy. They had picked a bad place...

A safe, placid location... their childhood sanctuary had been their drinking place last night. Often, they talked, but last night, they opened bottles. They weren't supposed to, but he wanted to try something new... they were too young, but experimenting, like most teenagers...

It brought tears to his memory that morning.

Uncomfortable, lukewarm tears.

"Sora... it's okay... I'll always be here--"

"No, you won't!" Sora interrupted, pushing away from him. He tugged at his shirt, then pushed it away, forcing himself to his feet from the small bed they had made out of sleeping bags and old blankets. He stumbled backwards two or three steps, then spun around dizzily, holding his head.

Tears left a small trail on the ground.

The brunette stumbled his way to the trash can and soon collapsed next to it, burying his face inside. Riku soon found himself at his friend's side, a hand on his forehead, pushing hair from his face and checking for fever accompanying his friend's hangover. Sora groaned and sighed, leaning back finally.

He couldn't take him home to his parents like this. They reeked of liquor, and now, projectile waste. Riku took his hand, leading him to the makeshift bed. Sora pushed him away, shaking his head.

"Over... it's got to be over..." he whispered. "I... I have to be over this..."

"You need to cope..." Riku whispered. He dropped to squat in front of him, but, unbalanced and weary, fell forward to kneel. Wincing, he ignored the feeling, and stared at the boy in front of him. "Sora... it's okay... no matter what happens, I will always be there--"

"No... you have... you have stuff to control on your own..." Sora muttered, shaking his head. Tears dripped down his cheeks again, as he felt Riku's strong, yet kind, hands urging him to lie down. Too weak to fight, he lay down quietly.

"That's enough, now, Sora... you're not feeling well, just sleep and let the liquor work its way out of your system..."

A soft murmur of protest, but the boy sniffled, and soon turned to his side and let himself fall into a dreamless slumber.

This was his fault... all his fault. A drunken, underaged teenager lay in his custody, feeling ill and upset. And he only sat there, a rock forming in the pit of his stomach. His chest burned... he knew it was his fault his heart felt like crying too. Covering the smaller boy, he grabbed his jacket, then slowly climbed from the treehouse.

Fifteen minutes later, he was stumbling his way back up, a bag of remedies under an arm, bottles of water and tea in a bag under the other. Shaking, he placed them on the ground, then walked to his friend, feeling his forehead. Sora shivered at the touch.

"'S cold..." he murmured.

Riku frowned. "Sorry... I'm so sorry..." he whispered. Gently, he lowered himself to lay next to the boy, pulling him into his embrace. The boy curled up next to him, breathing calm and even, except for soft, tired hiccups. He reached a pale hand over and gently wiped the tears from flushed cheeks.

:x:

The tears left silver-tinted rings on his shirt. There were quite a few, compiled to create a smeared, greying mess on his black shirt, but he didn't seem to notice. Remnants of tears... the warmth was gone, a soft, fuzzy feeling growing cold at an uncomfortably fast rate as he looked down.

No one.

Gone.

No....

He sat by the window of the secret place. One arm rested across the side, his head resting upon it, as his other lazily hung out. As Riku approached, he could see a small frown on his delicate features. They stood in the silence, as the silver-haired boy leaned on the wall, weakly peering out of the window next to his small friend.

"They're looking for us..."

Lights shone around the main island, small and easily-vanishing; flashlights, most likely, of well over half the village. There were two small rowboats on the surface, heading for the island. Four or five flashlights scanned the surface.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered softly.

Sora shook his head. "It was my fault..."

"No... it wasn't..."

The boys fell silent, and the boats neared the island.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to cry..."

Riku gave him a small smile. "I'll always listen..." he said. "Even when I'm not around... Sora, I hear you..." Gently, he moved a hand from the wall, placing it over his heart. "I'll always hear you call my name..."

Slowly, he sank to the ground, knees folding and legs sliding in front of him as he slouched against the wall.

He smiled softly to Sora as he slowly blinked. The brunette was at his side, grasping for his hand.

"Riku?"

He smiled.

"Smile, Sora..." he said. A hand reached up, touching his friend's chest gently. "It's upsetting when you don't..."

Sora swallowed, and nodded. Taking a deep breath, he let his lips curl upwards, managing a small smile on his face as he looked at his friend.

"Thanks... that makes me happy..."

Riku's eyes drooped closed...

Sora gasped. "Riku? Riku?!"

Riku....

:x:

There were tears on his shirt. They left silver rings mixed together when they dried, but once touched again, the color vanished, drowning into the black fabric. Last night's activities escaped him, as he opened his eyes, to see white-washed walls. No longer the wooden walls he had created, no makeshift slumbering spot, no strewn, empty bottles.

Nobody lay next to him. They didn't let him come in, saying it was his fault, saying that he was a disgrace. He hadn't meant it... he hadn't known...

He hadn't told him.

And he knew that while those tears fell onto a plastic chair in the waiting room, the tears falling on his shirt were his own. He hadn't realized that he was crying too.

:x:

Owari.



Okay... for understanding...

So really, in this fic, it's about Riku and Sora, and takes place after the game, somewhat. Sora convinced Riku to help him go drinking, and Riku ends up opening the bottles, and then Sora gets sick from the booze and spends his hangover crying on Riku and cuddling with him. Unknown to him, Riku's been ill and passes out as the rescue missions come to find them. Then Riku's taken to a hospital and Sora cries over him but they won't let him in the room, even though Riku refuses to blame Sora like the hospital does.

The idea of Sora crying comes from his emo moments, when he looks like he's just gonna burst into tears, and it seems like he would've been a crybaby when he was younger, and probably a sobby-drunk too. If Sora drank... unlikely, since he's so... him.

Sora's other somewhat reason for crying comes with the idea that the game's over. See, Riku's his "best friend 4eva" kinda person, and he's afraid that Riku, with his darkness thing, and him with his keyblade thing, might not be around, and their little moments of friendship are being taken away from them as time pasts.

Angsty, ne? Yay me.

Yeah. I plan on clearing most of that up in the future, as in soon, perhaps, maybe. I dunno. Since a lot of it really got confusing, and it's angst-fluff.

Note: The Santa thing is a reference in the second game, for those who didn't catch it.

Cool Point: This got a good review, from someone who didn't know me, and it made me smile. ^_^ Cuz they liked it, after they gave up trying to figure out who was who.

Bonus: If you figured out who was who before the summary, you get cool points. If ya didn't, you're part of the General Population.

.Meep.