[B25] LIKE GRAVITY (1/4)

[kaisooaufest]

Prompt Code: B25
Title: Like Gravity
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Elevator sex | Kid!Sehun | Some frustrating moments that just makes you want to pull your hair out
Word Count: 29,683
Summary: Kyungsoo is the planet that orbits too far from Jongin’s sun.
AN: I would first like to thank the anon for this wonderful prompt. I kind of tweaked it a little, hope you don’t mind, and I hope I did it justice. First time writing a dystopian!au and it’s been enjoyable but also thoroughly exhausting. Also, thank you to the lovely P for being my beta. Lastly, I would like to thank the lovely mods of this ficfest for all the hard work and effort they’ve put in. There will be a part 2 to this fic after this entire ficfest is over, since there is so much more to explore in this AU. I will post it on AFF so do look forward to that if you’re interested. All I can say now is… Enjoy~



*

[Aphelion /: The point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is furthest from the sun]

Love is obsolete.

At least, that is what he has been taught.

It is also what he observes on a day-to-day basis - the lack of physical contact, the absence of emotions that are considered too dangerous to have.

It is intriguing because feelings like envy and rage are still allowed; ones that can be destructive in nature, yet, how the central government believes that love is a greater worry that needs to be eliminated - that is one thought process Kyungsoo will never know, he can never comprehend.

He supposes the why stemmed from the great epidemic nearly a hundred years before he was even born. In schools he had learnt of how the entire population was almost wiped out because of a virus that wrecked terror upon the nation. It had come and gone, and to this day, no one knew how it had arose, but of how it had been uncontainable, devastating - spreading through physical touch until people just stopped skinship altogether for fear that touching meant death.

Because it had worked, and because the masses were quick to believe the message the central government was selling to their minds across all forms of media, people lost all reason to engage in physical contact.

And that is how it remains until this day, that is how a cold and individualistic society was bred - void of opportunity and the want, not need, to love. People stopped loving because the very essence of love is born from physical touch.

Everyone needs love. Everyone just forgets.

Kyungsoo rummages in his pockets to retrieve his phone when the familiar low buzz sounded.

“Hello mother.” He presses the device to his ear lightly, skipping over one of the rare loose cables strewn across the sidewalk.

“Are you there yet?” Not even a greeting was spared, such has become of their personalities.

“I’m a block away from the clinic.” Kyungsoo replies, equally curtly.

Cell Reconfiguration Specialist Hospital.

He can just about make out the words on the top of the skyscraper from where he is standing. It would have made for a magnificent sight too if not for the many thick cables hung from multiple towers, like they were meant as a decoration to go with the beautiful clear sky.

“Don’t be late son.” She emphasizes before hanging up right after, even before he could assure her with a soft, “I won’t.”

Kyungsoo exhales deeply, eyes not once leaving the sight of his supposed destination. It is finally time. He received the letter not more than a month ago, instructing him that an appointment had been made on his behalf for the initial check-up, and he is to make his way down to the hospital.

It also means that he is finally going to meet his other half - the individual he is to spend his entire life with, as determined by the central government. If his medical check-up proves positive that his genome is able to handle the reconfiguration of cells, he and his partner will be eligible to have a child, no thanks to the advanced assistive reproductive technology so prevalent and important in today’s society.

Children being mass-produced by machines, though their genes remain inherited from their birth parents. It is the best way to up their population count again; to make up for all that was lost those years ago. It is also the only way to bear children not created by the process of love.

“Hey, watch it!” The man towering over him, also the one he had just accidently bumped into, yelled. Both look down at their wristbands worriedly as the devices beep once before the red flash of light faded.

It was a huge relief that it hadn’t been broken.

If it did snap, it will surely make for a troublesome trip down to the ministry to explain why it had happened, and the subsequent trip down to the clinic to have it replaced within 24 hours.

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo muttered, holding his hand with the wristband close to his heart. The man merely afforded him a short glare before he was taking off once more.

It is at the age of 10 that everyone must get their wrists tagged and memory wiped. Kyungsoo remembers that day he had gone down with his parents, he remembers the white coat he had stared so transfixed at when his supervising officer was explaining the process to them, as if his parents didn’t remember even though they’d gone through the same thing when they themselves were 10, as if he was old enough to understand.

He remembers the way the band had clamped around his wrist, like a handcuff chaining him.

He remembers the bright lights on the ceiling as he had been wheeled down the corridor before being transferred to lie on a table, a huge box looming overhead.

He remembers the flashes of light that made his head throb in pain.

From that day on, Kyungsoo doesn’t remember how he had clung onto his mum and pleaded for her affection; for her to hug him back, despite the other trying to separate herself from her son, on the way to the clinic.

Kyungsoo doesn’t remember pouting every night so that his dad would relent and give him a quick peck on the forehead. A fleeting one so that no alarms were raised from his band because it was forbidden. It meant nothing to his dad, the kiss. But it meant a whole world to the kid.

Kyungsoo doesn’t remember having a best friend who he was so close to, snuggling into each other at the occasional sleepovers in the tree house they’d built in the countryside, innocent kisses traded because they were too young to comprehend the meaning behind them. The boy who so resembled a baby bear - warm and cuddly, who goes by the affectionate nickname of Nini.

Kyungsoo doesn’t remember having ever felt the emotion called love. The memory wipe had served its function well, which was to remove all traces of it so that one forgets how to even begin loving someone. He has blank fuzzy spots in his mind, and sometimes he gets curious as to what he is missing. But he never pursues it. No one does.

It is forbidden.

So is any form of physical contact that lasted over a minute. Because with the chain-like band on his wrist, any form of contact that lasted more than a minute will result in a shrill alarm ringing, which will alert all the authorities.

One hardly hears such alarms anymore.

Because people have become accustomed to not touching. The society has become detached.

Kyungsoo waits for the light to turn green before he crosses the road. As compared to the many others who don’t bother with this particular traffic rule because time was considered too precious and a meagre fifty dollars fine was, well, meagre, Kyungsoo always follows the rule. Not because he couldn’t afford to fork out the money, but because he didn’t think it right not to follow what the central government has set down as law.

*******

“Welcome to the Cell Reconfiguration Specialist Hospital, sir.” A friendly lady greeted him the second he entered those glass doors. Kyungsoo merely nodded and raised his wrist for her to scan the band to mark his presence.

The wristband was an interesting contraption for sure. Besides an alarm sounding upon breaching the end of the 1-minute contact law, the band also resets according to the time one has spent in physical touch i.e. if Kyungsoo were to shake hands with someone else for ten seconds, upon letting go, he needed to wait ten seconds as well for the band to reset before he could touch the other again.

“Your appointment for a full body check-up is in ten minutes, Mr. Do Kyungsoo-nim.” The lady - Irene, by the name on her nametag - smiled. “I also see that your life partner match has been successful,” she added after tapping on the screen a couple of times. “Congratulations!”

Kyungsoo’s cringe probably wasn’t the reaction she was expecting. “I’ll be waiting over there.” He points to a couple of vacant seats before shuffling away, leaving the nurse to frown after him.

He doesn’t know why she, like many others, are so receptive and appreciative of having such a system in place- the life partner match. It was the law that when one turns twenty, the system will pair couples up using advanced science technology to ensure that the offspring born from these two will have superior genes.

It was only a precaution. Because having superior genes meant being stronger. And in every day and age, only the strong will survive. That is the circle of life.

Kyungsoo doesn’t see why one should be happy when they don’t get to choose whom they are to spend the rest of their lives with. Even if they can’t love the partner they choose (because what is love?), it would be good to have the autonomy of choice, right?

Kyungsoo is twenty-one, but he only received his letter a couple of months ago, which clearly meant one thing - that his partner had only just turned twenty and that’s why he was meeting him or her only now. He doesn’t even know if the other is a female or male. Same sex couples weren’t even an issue anymore.

Speaking about his life partner, his eyes started sweeping the hospital atrium because one of the other strangers here could very well be his designated other half. Kyungsoo felt a shudder run through his body when he met eyes with a sleazy-looking male. With the potbelly and balding head, the middle-aged man looked every bit like a pervert. Besides, he doesn’t even look twenty. He prays with all his heart that his partner would somehow be a decent one.

The slim girl leaning against the far wall looked nice enough. Decent, prim and proper; she could make a good partner. Kyungsoo can imagine having her in his life. Though they will probably be limited to just talking, he figures having her as a companion would definitely be so much better than the other creeps he could possibly end up with. She looks like she’d be someone good enough to raise their child.

It is almost ten, the time that his appointment with Dr Kim was set at. It is also almost time he finds out who his life partner is. Kyungsoo is beyond nervous, though his stoic expression would never give others the impression.

“Mr. Do Kyungsoo?” His head snaps up when Irene calls out to him, hand waving a clipboard in the air. “The doctor will see you now.” She gives him an encouraging nod as he makes his way towards the door he was directed to.

“Where’s my p-partner?” he whispers, looking a little confused because it was customary for designated life partners to have their check-ups at the same time.

“It appears that Mr. Kim is late. My apologies, sir.” Irene inclines her head politely.

Oh. Kyungsoo stood still for a moment. The first thing that came to his mind was that his partner was a guy. She’d said his name is Mr. Kim. But more importantly was his follow-up thought.

For such an important occasion, it was rare for someone to be late. Unless… he doesn’t care who he is to be paired with. Kyungsoo doesn’t know why he feels sad.

Because he shouldn’t be. He shouldn’t feel the need to care at all. Much like how his life partner shouldn’t care, at least he should be a little cooperative right?

Kyungsoo shrugs and enters the room alone nonetheless. “Good morning, doctor,” he greets politely. Across from him sat a suave-looking male, posture upright and looking serious for the occasion, which contradicted with the warm smile on his face.

“Good morning to you too, Kyungsoo. Hope you don’t mind me calling you by your first name? You may call me Junmyeon.”

Kyungsoo nods and mouths the other’s name. “I see Jongin isn’t here yet.” He looks up to a frown on Junmyeon’s face.

“J-Jongin?” He whispers, face painted with confusion.

“Yes, Jongin.” The doctor nods and points at his computer screen. “Kim Jongin. I happen to be good friends with your life partner. What a coincidence.” Junmyeon chuckles, tapping on the surface thrice.

Oh. Not for the first time today, he finds himself lost for words.

“He must be sleeping in again, that brat.” Junmyeon spins around in his chair and types away on his computer. He doesn’t miss the look on Kyungsoo’s face. “You didn’t think he was late because he didn’t care for coming to meet you, did you?” The latter’s face flushes red because that is exactly what he was thinking.

“Jongin’s a nice kid, Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon chuckles before gesturing for him to stand. “The government may make it seem like humans can no longer care, but there is more than meets the eye.”

He didn’t want to dwell on the meaning behind the doctor’s words and the small wink he had given him.

“Perhaps, you can go lay over on that bed and we can start off your checks first?” Junmyeon adds after a short moment of silence. Kyungsoo quickly shuffles over and settles down on the narrow bed. It is better not to think.

Just when he was about to rest his head against the pillow, the door to the room flew open and a panting male rushed in. “I’m here!” the newcomer declares before folding in half, hands rested on his knees as he pants. This must be Jongin, Kyungsoo figures.

And the doctor was confirming his suspicion soon after. “Jongin!” he greets as the both of them slap their hands together in friendly greeting.

Kyungsoo winces when their respective bands knocked against each other’s with an awful-sounding clank, but neither Junmyeon nor Jongin looked concerned at all. Kyungsoo also wonders why that is the case.

“Your partner’s already here.” Junmyeon mentions, and that is when Jongin turns his attention to the wide-eyed male craning his neck to look at him.

“You’re cute. I like you already,” was the first thing the youngest in the room blurts out, taking both his friend and Kyungsoo by surprise. Panic soon set in for Jongin was smothering his mouth with both his palms the next second.

“Was I not supposed to say that out loud?” he whispers, eyes unblinking.

Kyungsoo’s mouth refuses to shut because did Jongin just admit that he likes him? “W-What?” He stutters as Junmyeon shot Jongin a warning glare and ran to shut his room’s door. How is that even possible? “You can’t just say that so freely, brat.” The two proceeded to exchange hushed words but Kyungsoo wasn’t really paying attention to them.

Because how can Jongin just say that he likes someone so easily?

Love, and by association admiration and liking someone, is forbidden. No one dares defy the rule set by the central government. Even if there is some minority that dabbled in the feeling called love, certainly no one dares voice out their opinions. Kyungsoo stares transfixed at his supposed life partner.

Jongin’s different, he gulps.

He doesn’t know if he should be afraid, or if he should embrace the other’s peculiarities.

“Junmyeon mentioned that your name’s Kyungsoo?” He looks up to an offered hand in front of his face, before glancing up further to meet dark brown eyes. Eyes that looked so warm yet piercing, Kyungsoo shudders inadvertently.

“Hello Jongin.” He attempts a smile before taking the other’s hand to give it a handshake.

There was a spark when their hands made contact. No doubt at all about that. But Jongin refuses to let go and Kyungsoo grew anxious because he knows how short a minute is and he was afraid that both their bands would set off their alarms.

“D-Do Kyungsoo?” The other asks with a tilt of his head, an unspoken question carved in the way his brows furrowed.

“Jongin,” Junmyeon mentions in warning just as Kyungsoo basically wrangled his hand free and clutched it to his chest. Neither men notice the sigh of relief the doctor let out because Kyungsoo was staring at Jongin who had an unreadable expression on his face.

“You grew up well…” It was only a whisper, but Kyungsoo heard it anyway.

“What did you say?” He eyes the other quizzically.

“N-Nothing!” Jongin half-yelled before clearing his throat awkwardly and pulling Junmyeon aside.

It was only a spark they felt when they touched each other for the very first time, but Kyungsoo couldn’t help but think their relationship may very well end up in a scorching fire.

*******

“When are you moving into my apartment?” Jongin asks as he walks Kyungsoo out of the hospital’s doors. There was a waiting sports car parked by the curb and the latter finds his feet grinding to a stop, partially in awe, and also because of what the other had said.

“Excuse me?” he asks, whirling around to stare at Jongin with confused eyes.

“Moving in,” Jongin enunciates with a frown etched on his face. “When?” Kyungsoo wants so much to slap the other because did he have to break it down like that, as if he was speaking to a child?

“It’s the norm for life partners to stay together after a successful cell reconfiguration check-up?” the younger adds. “Is it premature for me to assume that it is you who will be the one moving in with me?

Oh. Kyungsoo gulps as his jaw sets. He had forgotten about this detail. I’ll be staying with Jongin from now on? He eyes the other up and down before flushing red when he catches the other looking.

“Were you just checking me out?” Jongin raised his voice teasingly, a smirk already threatening to appear on his face.

“Of course not!” Kyungsoo snaps before rushing to settle in the passenger seat. He folds his arms across his chest, eyes stubbornly fixed anywhere but at the guy beside him. Stupid Jongin. How is he always so cheery and j-just not-not normal! Kyungsoo huffs.

He doesn’t see the other biting back a smile before shutting the door and walking across to the driver’s side.

“So my place or yours?” the younger asks with his hands already poised on the steering wheel, Jongin’s eyes were trained on Kyungsoo though.

“I still live with my parents,” the latter whispers softly, half-embarrassed.

“I have my own penthouse suite,” Jongin blurts.

“I guess you have your answer then.” Kyungsoo fiddles with the hem of his shirt before looking out the window. I’ll be staying in Jongin’s home from now on.

He knew that was what his parents would have wanted. But with a side-glance at the other beside him humming to the upbeat pop song that had just came on the radio, Kyungsoo can’t help but feel scared.

It would be a foreign experience, but it is something he has to grow accustomed to - being with Jongin. After all, they have to spend the remaining years of their life together; they were life partners. Let’s just tolerate it, Kyungsoo-ah… He clenches his fist and gives himself a little inward encouragement.

*******

“To access the top floor, only one with the pin number can activate the lifts.” Jongin points at the keypad and instructs Kyungsoo to remember it well. The latter nods and murmurs the six numbers Jongin recites to him repeatedly under his breath. He only halts when he feels the piercing gaze to the side of his face.

“What?” Kyungsoo turns. “Is there something wrong with my face?” He frowns. They were still some fifteen floors from Jongin’s apartment on the twenty-first. Kyungsoo wonders if the elevator can go any faster because he was growing uncomfortable under the other’s stare and the stiffening silence in the enclosed space.

“Yes and no.” The younger hums, “Not specifically your face but you in general.” What? Kyungsoo greets him with confusion. “There’s something wrong with you because you are making me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling,” Jongin answers seriously. Kyungsoo doesn’t dare imagine it to be a lie.

“What are you saying?” he chokes out and eyes the surveillance camera to the top left anxiously. “You can’t just say things like that so openly. It’s forbidden,” Kyungsoo hisses. What if they catch you?

His eyes grew enormously large when Jongin merely smirks and pushes a couple of buttons on the lift’s display panel. “You know… I’ve been staying in this building for a few years now, and after a while, one picks things up fairly easily.” Kyungsoo gasps when the elevator shudders to a stop and the lights go out, leaving only a faint blue light from the glass panel. He sees that they were in between floors twenty and twenty-one.

“These bands, Kyungsoo…” Jongin holds up his wrist in front of the other’s eyes. “Do you know the bands only work because of proximity charges?” He eyes Kyungsoo with an unreadable expression on his face. “You’ve seen the many cables around the city, yes?” The latter nods hesitantly. “Only with sufficient electricity nearby will these bands actually work. Why do you think the government pumps in so much money to the electricity plants every year?”

Kyungsoo stiffens when Jongin clamps a hand over his wrist before tugging him close. He forces his eyes shut as his body crashes into the other’s sturdy chest. “I’ve just cut off all the supply to this lift, and the emergency power is only enough to keep this lift from plummeting to the ground, which means…” Jongin’s breath was warm against the shell of his ear, “We can touch and no one will ever know.”

He looks down at his wristband, and sure enough, it wasn’t flashing yellow and counting down to a minute. “I’m attracted to you, Kyungsoo…” He gasps when Jongin’s lip makes contact with his ear. Are you attracted to me too? That was the underlying question Kyungsoo didn’t fail to pick to up.

He shudders inadvertently, but was soon pushing the other off him. “We’re still not allowed to.” Kyungsoo exhales deeply, not noticing the falling look on Jongin’s face. “Rules are rules. The law speaks for itself. I don’t know what you’re playing at because even if we’re life partners, there is nothing more to this relationship.

“Besides, I’m not attracted to you,” he bites out, eyeing the other from head to toe. Kyungsoo wonders if unkempt hair that naturally looks so stylish, thick full lips and a lean body with skin dusked a light shade of gold are considered attractive.

You’re attracted to me? Kyungsoo stops himself from scoffing because what do you know about attraction? To his knowledge, no one knew what attraction and love entails; people had suspicions, and theories, but never positive facts. He quickly voices it out, only for Jongin to deny him because “I’m attracted to you because I can feel love, hyung… I’m not like everyone else.”

But when Kyungsoo raises the why he had stuck in his mind, Jongin clamps up and refuses to give him an answer. For now, he concludes what he had thought back in the hospital hours earlier - that Kim Jongin, his life partner, is different. Almost peculiar.

That alone terrifies him more than when Jongin points to the only bed in the apartment, albeit it being a king-sized one, and declares that they were to sleep together that night. “Cuddle?” Kyungsoo almost balks at the hopeful look on Jongin’s face.

The latter’s face only fell when Kyungsoo pointed to their bands and reminded him that they weren’t in the non-functional elevators anymore. “So, you can’t touch me.” He gives a little smile and inches away from the other, only for Jongin to grunt and rush out of the room a second later.

Kyungsoo squeezes his eye shut and sought for sleep to come, praying that the other wasn’t currently trying to cut off all the power in the apartment because just the thought of them touching scares him.

He also doesn’t know the reason why Jongin so stubbornly wants skinship with him.

*******

“Wake up, my little penguin… Nini’s hungry.” There was an insistent poking on his cheek that made Kyungsoo groan and turn away from the pressure. If he were awake enough, he would have definitely picked up what the other just said.

“Go away…” he groans to the best of his ability, “This pillow needs me,” he sighs and buries his face further into said pillow, waving his one hand that wasn’t tucked under and batting at what he hopes is Jongin’s face.

“But I need to leave for work in an hour and I need food.”

Kyungsoo grunts when Jongin begins whining, tugging incessantly at his top. “Stop touching me…” he growls when his band beeps yet again, finally shifting his face off the pillow so that one eye was open to glare at Jongin over it.

“I’m going to smother you in a hug if you don’t make me food,” the younger threatens, face looking ever so serious that Kyungsoo was jumping out of bed in an instant; he had no doubt Jongin would do as he said.

Jongin chuckles as he watches Kyungsoo waddle out of the room in his oversized sweater, hair still a mess because of sleep. “The poor guy still doesn’t know he has no pants on.” He smiles to himself and stares at the baby blue boxers the other had on. There were even tiny yellow ducks on it.

“You’re as cute as you were back then, Do Kyungsoo.,” he says fondly.

*******

“So what’s your occupation? I never really got round to asking you that- in fact” Kyungsoo pauses midway through popping a piece of pancake into his mouth and points his fork at Jongin, “we know absolutely nothing about each other.” He frowns.

“I know you’re Do Kyungsoo. You know I’m Kim Jongin. That’s something.” Jongin flinches when Kyungsoo’s eyes narrow.

“Apart from that!” the latter growls out. “I mean, we’re life partners now, aren’t we? Since we have forever together… shouldn’t we at least familiarize ourselves with each other? We can even be good friends.” He looks up hopefully.

“You mean like best friends?” Jongin asks. Kyungsoo nods without even raising his head.

“That will be better than living as complete strangers right?” He only looks up when he hears the other snort.

“But I don’t want to be just best friends.” Jongin frowns. “We’re husbands now, aren’t we?”

Kyungsoo chokes so hard he had to swallow down two cupfuls of milk before he finally stopped coughing. “H-Husbands?” he laughs lightly, “I think you’re getting something wrong here… yes, we’re life partners, but no, we’re not getting married.” Because husbands meant marriage, and marriage is usually an effect of love. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. “Are people still even allowed to marry?” He adds in a hushed whisper a second later.

Jongin looks like he is going to argue, but he stops himself because it isn’t the right time.

“Okay, best friends,” he concedes for the time being, mood falling drastically as he finishes up his breakfast.

“Wait, you haven’t told me what you work as,” Kyungsoo stands up and follows after him as he paced past the main door and stood waiting for the elevator. The other looked so cute with his pancake-filled cheeks that Jongin felt all the anger slip out of him.

“I help out at my Dad’s lab most days. He’s a scientist.”

Ohhh… Kyungsoo nodded. “So you guys do research and all that?” he asks curiously.

“Yup…” Jongin pops the p as he steps into the lift when it arrives, before holding out a hand to stop the doors from closing.

“Cool! Are you guys searching for a cure to some disease or illness?” The expression on Jongin’s face was unreadable, a huge contrast to the look of excitement and partial awe on Kyungsoo’s face.

Jongin hesitates for a moment before stepping out of the lift and coming to stand in the other’s personal space. “Something like that… It’s all very hush hush now.” Kyungsoo leans forward when he beckons for him to come closer. As if he was about to spill a secret.

“A cure to what?” the shorter male whispers.

He certainly wasn’t expecting the brief hug and equally chaste kiss on his nutella-smeared lips. Kyungsoo gasps and jumps backwards at once.

The lack of love was what Jongin wanted to say. “I can’t say…” was what he settled for in the end.

Kyungsoo watches as Jongin steps into the lift. “It’s forbidden,” the latter whispers dramatically as the lift doors shut, but his voice was still resonating in the silence he left behind. What is this? Kyungsoo places a hand over his heart.

And for the very first time, he questions the fluttering feeling in his chest and the demon that is confusion for he does not know what kind of emotion it is that has just wrecked him from the inside.

*******

“Hey you guys can’t-” A quick hand to his mouth was enough to shut him up. Kyungsoo glanced up with wide eyes, teeth already prepared to chomp down on the fingers before him.

“Let them be, Soo.” Baekhyun held a finger to his lips before ushering him out of the otherwise quiet room.

It was already two in the afternoon, which meant naptime in the children’s orphanage.

“B-B-But…” Kyungsoo stuttered as he shrugged off his friend’s hand over his lips. “You’re just a caregiver, Soo… not the police, and certainly not the central government.” Baekhyun eyes him exasperatedly. “They’re just a bunch of five-year olds hugging each other in their sleep. It’s certainly not a crime.” He frowns.

Kyungsoo sighs and follows after Baekhyun as they walk back to their office. “I just don’t want society to shun them even more than how badly they are being treated now.” Kyungsoo accepts the cup of tea the other passes him. “It’s bad enough that they were abandoned here the moment they were born.”

St. Gabriel’s Home for Boys. It was his workplace. It was also where children, boys specifically, were dumped when it was clear that they were born weaker than the rest. The systems - the life partner match and the assistive reproductive technology - aimed to produce kids who were genetically stronger. But of course, there is no preventing the slim chance of some slipping through the cracks.

The systems don’t fail that often though, which explains why there were only less than ten children in the orphanage. All of them remained out of sight of regular citizens for they were considered to be the weak; undeserving of attention.

“Relax and just let them be, Soo. They’re kids.” Baekhyun shrugs, “They don’t know that touching isn’t allowed. You don’t need to be so uptight about it, geez.” Kyungsoo sighs.

“Once they reach ten, though.” He raises his wrist and an eyebrow to go with.

“Yes. But until then, let them have a fair chance to snuggle, okay?” Baekhyun glares him into submission.

“Besides, you were probably like them when you were young - clingy and desperate for hugs and kisses.”

Kyungsoo chokes and pouts. “I don’t remember ever being touchy-feely.” He frowns. Just the thought of it irks him.

“That’s the thing, Soo.” Baekhyun points a finger at him, “You don’t remember because of the memory wipe you experienced at ten. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. You have fuzzy moments in your memory right? I know you do because I do too; it’s normal for one to have them.”

“What are you trying to say, Baek?” Kyungsoo lowers his voice and glances around nervously, despite knowing that there were no government-planted cameras nearby. He leans closer when the other cranes his neck forward as well.

“We have a suspicion… Chanyeol and I.” Baekhyun adds a second later. “That all the fuzzy moments in our brain?” Kyungsoo nodded as a sign of encouragement for the other to keep talking. “Are actually memories of us experiencing love or any form of that emotion when we were young.” The extent to which Kyungsoo’s eyes expanded had Baekhyun a little worried. “The government made us forget about love, and forbade us from touching one another, just so that they can prevent another epidemic like the one years ago.”

“But don’t you feel robbed, Soo?” Baekhyun whines. “Our emotions aren’t something anyone can steal or take from us. This-” He pointed at the band clamped around his wrist, “shouldn’t be the reason why we are void of intimacy.”

“You speak like you know what love is, and as if you want love,” Kyungsoo mentions softly. He gasps when he notes the faint blush on Baekhyun’s face. “You know what love is? You’ve experienced it?” Kyungsoo hisses.

“I think I know,” the other corrects.

“How? And what does it feel like?” It is rare for him to be so curious, and to actually pursue an answer to his curiosity.

“Chanyeol kissed me the other day.” Baekhyun says shyly, “There was a fluttering feeling in my chest and I was curious so I kissed him back.” Kyungsoo gasps, hand moving automatically to his mouth. “And again.” The other continues, “And again… I think I like kissing him.” Baekhyun glances at him seriously, “Is that the start of what love is? Because, I certainly think so.”

Kyungsoo shrugs because he doesn’t know. “I just can’t believe you kissed your life partner,” he whispers.

“What about you? Have you ever felt a fluttering feeling in your chest?” Baekhyun asks. He was about to shake his head when what happened in the morning popped up in his mind. “You have, am I right?” The other looked triumphant as he took Kyungsoo’s gasp and following silence as a yes.

“What am I going to do?” The latter whispers a minute later. He can’t imagine having love in his life. If that fluttering feeling is really the beginning of love, does that mean I’m going against the law now?

“I know what you can do next.” Baekhyun singsongs. What? Kyungsoo eyes him in anticipation. “Kiss him back, dummy. It’s Jongin you’re thinking about, right? Kiss him back and if the feeling persists, then we are one step closer to our answer, aren’t we?”

Baekhyun thanks heavens Kyungsoo was distracted by the sudden loud coughs coming from the other room for the latter looked a second away from punching him in the guts after he’d suggested he kiss Jongin back.

“Sehun,” Kyungsoo whispers before he was dashing out of the room. He found the five-year old sitting up and struggling for breath, tears falling from his eyes, having exerted too much effort in trying to stop his coughing. The caregiver quickly grabs the little one’s inhaler and rubs his back gently, whispering comforting words as Sehun took long drags of air.

Because being weak meant having many sicknesses. Sehun had severe asthma; most days he will even wake up in the middle of the night, heaving for air because apparently the air-con was too strong for his weak lungs. Kyungsoo had learnt of the last fact from the caregivers on the night shift.

The now five-year old had been living in this orphanage ever since he was only a couple of days old. Kyungsoo practically brought him up, having started work straight out of high school, and that’s why he felt a special connection to the small boy. It isn’t love. He has insisted for the past five years. It’s just my duty as his guardian.

Baekhyun calls bullshit every time.

“Is he okay?” Kyungsoo looks up to the other caregiver’s worried face peeking in from the half open door.

“Yeah…” Kyungsoo moves Sehun’s hair out of his eyes tenderly as the boy climbs onto his lap after calming down, face nuzzling into the older’s chest. He made sure that only their clothes were touching, not skin. Though Kyungsoo did allow for occasional head caresses.

“Sleep, little one.” He whispers into the other’s ear before landing a soft peck on Sehun’s forehead. Baekhyun was giving him a judging look, to which Kyungsoo does his best to ignore as he coaxes the boy back to sleep.

*******

The first thing that greeted him when he got back home and walked into the bathroom with the intention to relieve his bladder was the banshee scream, a flying towel, and Jongin in all his naked glory, standing in the middle of the bathroom with wide eyes, having been shocked at the sudden opening of the door.

For a minute, there was utter silence. Jongin watches as Kyungsoo’s eyes slip down to stare at his hanging dick. He quickly let out another squeak, fidgeting nervously as his hand rushed to cover his manhood. But wait a minute… Jongin figures he has nothing to be embarrassed about - they were husbands (he refuses to believe otherwise). Also, he was pretty proud of his body - there’s nothing wrong with being naked in front of each other, is there?

Jongin’s expression shifted into a lopsided smirk as he let his arms drop. He was anticipating the praises of his godlike body to come. Kyungsoo was still staring, but probably not for the reason the other thinks. Say it… Jongin giggles inwardly. Say that you think I’m hot.

“I need to pee,” was what Kyungsoo blurts out instead before coming forward to drag Jongin out. The next thing the latter knew, he was staring down a wooden door. The heck?! Jongin frowns and looks down. He is pretty well endowed so why did Kyungsoo look so unimpressed?

The younger didn’t even think before he was the one barging into the bathroom this time. Kyungsoo, who had only just finished up, yelps and hurriedly pulls up his boxers and pants. It was only a second or two that he had caught sight of creamy, and extremely tempting skin, but it was enough to distract Jongin.

“How are you not reacting to this?” The latter gestures to the whole of himself before folding his arms across his chest, not at all minding that he’s still in his birthday suit. “Are you not attracted to my body at all?” Jongin frowns. Kyungsoo blinks once before stalking over to the sink.

“What did you think I’d do? Tell you what a nice dick you have?” He snorts before looking up at the mirror, straight into Jongin’s eyes.

“AHA! You just admitted that I have a nice dick.” The younger pumps a fist in the air triumphantly as Kyungsoo turned extremely red in the face.

“I did no such thing!” the latter half screams.

“Yes, you did. Yes, you did!” Jongin stuck his face right beside Kyungsoo’s and chanted annoyingly.

The shorter male was practically seething, hands clenched tightly and his eyes squeezed shut as he tries to ignore the other. “Can you put on some clothes? You’re being childish.” Kyungsoo mutters. “No I won’t.” Jongin smirks, “In fact, I’ll make sure to parade around the apartment naked… Every. Single. Day.” Kyungsoo was still caged in against the sink with the younger’s body almost plastered over his back.

When it became apparent that Jongin wasn’t going to stop talking, the shorter did what he had to do to break free. It was either kneeing the other in the groin so that he will let go because of pain, or doing something drastic to shock him into submission. Kyungsoo wasn’t so fond of making contact with Jongin’s dick even if his knees were clothed, so he spins around and pressed his lips against the other’s instead.

Kiss him back, dummy… Kiss him back and if the feeling persists, then we are one step closer to our answer, aren’t we? Baekhyun’s words were what spurred him to take action, also because he was truly curious, and at wits end.

He could feel Jongin’s shock in the way his eyes flew open and body tense. “I said stop.” Kyungsoo pulls away a couple of seconds later with a suspicious glint in his eyes, before shoving the other back and exiting the bathroom.

“He kissed me. He actually kissed me.” Jongin raises his hand to his lips as he stares at his reflection in a daze. Unbeknownst to him, Kyungsoo was experiencing a similar breakdown on the other side of the door as he retrieves his phone from the depths of his pocket to dial Baekhyun’s number.

“I am royally screwed, Baek,” he blabbers even before his friend could get a greeting in. “I kissed him.” Kyungsoo adds a second after the other voiced his concerns. He ignores the excited scream and incessant follow-up questions from Baekhyun.

His heart was pounding and the fluttering feeling had returned. “I think I have your answer, Baek… and it terrifies me.” Kyungsoo admits.

I think I know what the beginning of love feels like now.

*******

“You can’t go in there!” He had only opened the door a couple of inches before a strong tug on his wrist brought it back shut. The loud single beep from their wristbands made Kyungsoo and Jongin release their hand contact like they’d just been burned by fire. He could feel Jongin’s warm presence behind him before they shuffle further apart, awkwardly.

“W-Why did you want to go in there anyway?” The younger clears his throat and stares down at his feet. There was a faint blush on Jongin’s face, and Kyungsoo gapes. Who knew the confident guy from before who was parading around naked could be reduced to a ball of shyness.

A short glance up from Jongin prompted Kyungsoo to scramble for an excuse. He couldn’t very well say that he was trying to find another room to sleep in tonight because he was still overwhelmed by their kiss and its aftermath, right? “I was just exploring all the rooms in this apartment.” Kyungsoo mumbles, “What’s with this room anyway? Is this where you hide your vast porn collection, that’s why I’m barred from entering?” he jokes.

Jongin chokes on air and Kyungsoo’s eyes bulge. “Are you serious?” He chuckles, only to get wildly waving hands in his face the next second. “It’s not porn!” the younger screeches, “but you still can’t go in there.”

Kyungsoo scowls and shoves the other’s hands away. The left-right motions were making him dizzy. “Fine.” He snaps.

“This is my recreational room- I guess… NOT PORN.” Jongin adds in a high-pitched voice at Kyungsoo’s judging glance. “I come here whenever I need a break. This room is precious to me because it helps me relax. It’s a room from my childhood.” So it contains childhood memories? Kyungsoo nods absentmindedly. He could understand the other’s request for privacy.

“That’s my study room. I do confidential work in there so you can’t go in. Dad’s lab… you know how it is. I’m sorry.” The older nods and pointed to the last room on the second floor, right at the end.

“What about that room?” he asks.

“Oh.” Jongin finally turns his smile to him and Kyungsoo blinks because the fluttering feeling was back. “Come. I think you will appreciate this room if you were ever bored in this house.”

It turned out to be quite some library and Jongin was right; Kyungsoo thinks he will be coming here quite often in the future. “So that’s the second floor.” Jongin shuts the door to the library and paced down the hallway. “You already know what’s on the first…” Kyungsoo gulps because he knew what was coming; after all, it was already quite late.

“Should we turn in for the night?” Jongin asks just as they reached the door to their bedroom. Kyungsoo stubs his toes against the doorframe and yelps, hobbling towards the bed and not rejecting the other’s strong arm around his waist supporting him.

*******

“S-Should we…” Should we talk about the kiss? Jongin turns his head to the side, only to observe that Kyungsoo’s eyes were close. From the soft rise and fall of his chest, he looked to be asleep too. Jongin sighs and looks back up to the ceiling. It had been awkward when they first settled into bed, both boys at each end, a wide divide between them.

He’d tried to wriggle his fingers closer to Kyungsoo’s hand, only for the other to bring his own up, clasping them against his own chest. The unspoken thought was significant enough not to ignore.

Knowing that Kyungsoo was asleep now, Jongin spoke without restraint sans the lowering of his voice. “We can’t live on like this, Kyungsoo… I really, really like you. I’ve liked you for the longest time, so please don’t ignore me.” He turns his head to the side to stare at the other’s lidded eyes, the slope of his nose and those plump lips.

“When I hug you, I wish for you to hug me back. When I kiss you, I wish for you to kiss me back. When I say I love you, I wish for you to say it back.” There was a pregnant pause. “I’m working on that last part… Dad’s almost got the results he wants.” Jongin pushes his upper body up and shifted over so that his face was hovering over Kyungsoo’s.

“I’ll teach you all about love again.” He presses his lips against the other’s forehead lightly before moving back to his side of the bed, finally allowing sleep to lure him in.

Jongin misses the small twitch of Kyungsoo’s lips.

*******

“Good morning.” Kyungsoo was pleasantly surprised to be greeted first thing in the morning by the delicious smell of breakfast and Jongin’s warm smile. “You made all these?” He gawks at the spread on the dining table and narrows his eyes at the other. “I thought you didn’t know how to cook?” He frowns.

“I don’t.” Jongin shrugs, “That’s why I went out to get them for you instead. Sit and eat.” Kyungsoo gulps before planting his butt onto the stool. “I’ll drive you to work later.” Oh my lord, what is this? The shorter male looks over his bowl of soup at the humming Jongin. Someone is obviously in a good mood.

“Thank you for the breakfast.” He croaks out, “Also, thank you for offering a ride, but you don’t need to. I can just take th-”

“I want to.” Jongin cuts in, eyes piercing as they lock on Kyungsoo’s. That look brought back memories of what happened last night, and the latter concentrates on his spoon, though a blush had appeared on his cheeks. Because, is that what Jongin meant by “I’ll teach you all about love again” - these small gestures to coax me into saying “I love you” back?

“Okay,” he says softly. Inch by inch, he could feel his heart opening up to the other. But of course Kyungsoo doesn’t tell that to Jongin.

*******

“I can go in, right?” Kyungsoo actually took quite a while to process the other’s words. But by the time he had done so and scrambled to open the car door, Jongin was already almost reaching the orphanage’s main door. “Wait! W-Why?” He stumbles after the other. “Don’t you have to go to work?” Kyungsoo calls out, adding in a “Hi Baek” when the said man opens the doors, allowing them to enter the premises.

“I have some time this morning.” Jongin replies before inclining his head politely. “Hi, I’m Jongin. Kyungsoo’s husband.” Baekhyun’s jaw unhinges as the other takes his hand and gives it a brief shake.

Husband? he mouths at Kyungsoo, only to see the other rolling his eyes and giving him an ‘I don’t even bother explaining anymore’ look.

“Just thought I should come by to see where Kyungsoo works at.” Baekhyun gives Jongin a hesitant nod and tiny smile before he was turning to Kyungsoo. “Sehun needs you.” Those three words were enough to worry him as Kyungsoo peels down the hallway towards the room he knows the child will be in.

Jongin frowns and stares after the other’s retreating back. “Who’s Sehun?” He turns his attention to Baekhyun before his eyes widens at a sudden thought. “Are you cheating on me with another man, Kyungsoo?!” he screams. Is that why you don’t reciprocate my feelings?

*******

He thinks he probably deserves the hit on the head Baekhyun gave him just minutes ago when he looks down at the small boy clinging onto Kyungsoo. “Stop crying Sehun-ah, hmm?” The latter worries, patting the five-year old on the back gently as he cradles him to his chest. Jongin crushes the ugly feeling that is jealousy as he eyes his life partner hugging someone else. Albeit, someone else being a mere kid.

“Mama…” Sehun buries his face against Kyungsoo’s bare neck, and Jongin’s eye twitches when the other allows the skin contact. Why can’t you hug me like that too? He frowns. “Hunnie scared.” The small boy continues to sob, explaining to his caregiver the awful dream he had just woken up from.

“Have they always been this close?” Jongin pulls Baekhyun aside to ask, though his eyes were still trained on the other pair. “Uh huh.” Baekhyun nods and pats him on the back. Jongin doesn’t like the sly teasing look on the other’s face. “By the way… can I speak to you outside?” He raises his eyebrows at Baekhyun’s request but follows after him anyway.

“You’re the Kim Jongin right?” Those were the first words out of Baekhyun’s mouth when the door shut after them. “I recognize you from the pictures Chanyeol shows me.” Jongin opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, not really knowing what to say. So Baekhyun speaks for him. “Chanyeol’s my life partner, and he says he works in a lab with you and your father amongst others?”

Jongin quickly raises his finger to his lips as he looked around anxiously. “How much do you know about what we do?” He turns back to ask Baekhyun in a tone so serious that it made the latter a tad scared.

“I-I know that you guys don’t really agree with how the central government is running our country…” Jongin’s eyes widen in shock but Baekhyun continues in a whisper this time, “I know your father’s trying to abolish this.” The latter raises his wrist and eyes the band clamped on it. Jongin pinches the bridge of his nose, half fuming, because this is classified information, I can’t believe Chanyeol told someone about it. “I also know that you’re trying to reverse the effects of the memory wipe and get rid of that practice too.”

The two stood silent for a moment - Jongin contemplating his next move, and Baekhyun just stood waiting for what the other was going to do now that he’d revealed he knows. “I know you’re blaming Chanyeol inside that pretty head of yours, but please don’t… there’s word about the rebellion spreading through the underground anyway.”

Jongin looks up then. “People know?” he asks in disbelief.

“Not the central government, no.” Yet. Baekhyun shakes his head, “But it’s only a matter of time, I guess. I’m talking about people on the ground… the poor people no one important in society gives a damn about.” He grips Jongin’s arm, both ignoring the warning beep coming from their bands. “People are starting to believe, Jongin. Love isn’t a property that the government can seize from us. It’s part and parcel of one’s feelings.”

Jongin gulps at the hopeful look on Baekhyun’s. “You and your father are starting a revolution, Jongin. And I fully support you.” The latter concludes with a smile.

Just then, the door they were standing beside swings open and Kyungsoo steps out with Sehun sitting on one hip. “What are you guys doing?” he asks while eyeing the hand his friend has on his life partner. Kyungsoo frowns when both Baekhyun and Jongin jump away from each other the next second, as if they were guilty of doing something inappropriate and had just been caught in the act.

He scoffs at the sheepish look on Baekhyun’s face, but he couldn’t decipher what Jongin was thinking with that stoic mask on. “Jongin?” Kyungsoo takes a step closer to the said male when the other remains silent for seconds too long to be considered normal.

“I’ve got to go.” Jongin voices suddenly, head snapping up before he jerks his head in what must be a goodbye. He didn’t even look back on the way out, and Kyungsoo pauses mid-step, hand already falling to his sides in disappointment. “What were you guys doing?” He turns to Baekhyun instead.

The nonchalant shrug he receives and the slight tilt of the other’s lip did nothing to convince him that nothing had happened.

Part 2