[D06] 5504 MILES (2/2)
Prompt Code: D6
Title: 5504 Miles
2:53 AM
When Neither Jongin nor Kyungsoo talk, their stomachs do.
Kyungsoo’s tummy growls first after they head out from the complex of the observatory, making him blush in embarrassment. He grips his safety belt tightly before turning his head slowly to Jongin.
The taller man apparently is trying hard not to open his mouth to laugh by zipping his mouth, but thirty seconds after, his tummy growls too. Kyungsoo is sure it is not his tummy, so he suddenly pinches Jongin’s thigh so hard (“HYUNG, IT HURTS”) and then laughs until his eyes turn into crescent.
“You’re hungry too, I knew it!”
“I am, hyung, I am.” Jongin grins. “Do you want to grab some meal? I saw a tent back there. I think the ahjumma sells something.”
“At dawn like this?”
“Well, let’s give it a try.”
Jongin makes a U-turn and then parks his car near the tent. He tells Kyungsoo to wait to make sure if they really sell meals, and then knocks Kyungsoo’s with a smile after he talks with the ahjumma.
Kyungsoo follows, they sit on one of the tables in front of the car.
The ahjumma greets them in a very heavy Gyeongsang dialect, asking if they were a factory worker because usually she sells porridge and soup for the workers who work overnight for the nearest construction site.
“Does that hurt?” Kyungsoo aks as he eats his porridge.
“What?”
“Your leg, where I pinched you.”
“Oh… no, it’s not.” Jongin shakes his head. “But it hurts when you don’t tell me anything about you. I did all the talking today.”
“What do you want to know?”
Jongin hums. He looks at him, and then lower his gaze to Kyungsoo’s hand. He doesn’t really pay attention to what Kyungsoo wears except the earrings, but now when they sit face to face like this, Jongin can see clearly the gleam of the ring he wars. The ring was silver.
“The ring, where did you get it?”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Kim Kai, the fashion enthusiast.”
Jongin laughs. “Nooo, no, I’m curious. Is that from your boyfriend?”
Jongin means to say it jokingly, but he regrets that immediately when Kyungsoo nods.
“Yeah, my boyfriend gave me this.”
Jongin stops stirring his soup. He slowly continues stirring it again after his brain is done digesting the information. “Oh. I see,” he says, trying to sound as stable as he can.
Of course.
Why would he think that Kyungsoo is single? Of course somebody else would love him, would cherish him, protect him. He has come all the way here to, at least, give Kyungsoo some explanation, but then it would be useless if he cannot persuade Kyungsoo to love him again when he’s so in love with somebody else.
“I bet he loves you so much,” Jongin says.
“He said he does.”
“Then I’ll be at peace,”
“Thank you. How about you? Are you still dating Krystal Jung?”
“How did you know?”
Kyungsoo chuckles. “Duh, it’s all over the news, Jongin. And you’re not a nobody.”
Jongin stares at the brown in Kyungsoo’s iris. I am, for you. He clears his throat. “Well, not anymore. She’s not you. I’m still sorry, though. For leaving you, for breaking up with you through letter and not in person. I’m such a coward.”
Kyungsoo nods. “You are. But,” he starts again, now leaning forward to look at Jongin in the eyes. “I was thankful when you send me the letter. If you didn’t send me, I would be forever in your shadow-not knowing where our relationship would go. For four years, Jongin.
I kept thinking… Should I keep hoping that you’ll be back someday, or should I leave everything and move on? I was like a dumb teenager-running through the hallway when the postman came. I was jumping happily-I was expecting a long, loving letter but it turned out to be a break-up letter.”
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath.
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo folds his arms on the table. “What you did to me, is unforgivable.”
Jongin doesn’t know what to say. His eyes fall into his fingernails. No matter how many times he apologizes today, he’ll always get the same result.
“But,” Kyungsoo rejoices, “I already forget them. I buried them and promised myself I won’t dig it up again.”
“Does that mean… we can be friends again?”
“Friends?” Kyungsoo purses his lips. Jongin anticipates. He squares his shoulders; his ears are ready to listen to the worst answer.
“I‘ll let you be my friend again if you pay all of these.” Kyungsoo smiles triumphantly while pointing at three bowls of porridge he just ate.
Jongin draws himself up short. “HYUNG! You scared me.”
Kyungsoo chuckles. “Let’s go, it’s almost dawn,” he says after he sees some workers fill the table near them.
“You go first, I’ll pay.” Jongin rummages through his pocket and gives Kyungsoo the car key. “I still want to be your friend,”
“You better be,” he says, catching the keys perfectly.
✈✈✈
When Kyungsoo is waiting for Jongin in the car, he sees a wooden sign that reads “↗S NRISE (50m)” with illuminated ink. He squints his eyes to read it again, and he is sure that it means the place to see sunrise.
He gets out of the car again and asks Jongin to follow him to see sunrise.
“Oh, you saw the sign! I just wanna ask you too. The ahjumma just told me there’s a good place to look at sunrise. It’s up there, you see?”
Jongin points to the hill across them that starts to turn blue because the dawn has come.
“Well, no problem.”
“What are we waiting for, then?” Jongin smiles and offers Kyungsoo his hand. Kyungsoo reaches it.
He let Jongin leads the way through the bushes and they find a pathway that leads to the stone stair. There were no railings on both sides so they have to be careful as the stone is slippery. He still grips Kyungsoo’s hand tightly, his other hand holding the flashlight from his phone to make sure they step on the right path.
It’s not a long climb; they reach the top in no time. There is a bench near the edge of the cliff, so they sat on that wooden bench even though the bench creaks from their weight.
“I think not many people know this place?”
“Yeah, only the locals, I think. But this spot isn’t bad either.”
They spend their dawn in silence, looking at the sky that changes color into lighter shades as the sun comes up.
This is the best sunrise that Jongin has ever seen. He looks at Kyungsoo beside him, his face is illuminated with the morning rays.
“What, Jongin?”
“No, it’s just so pretty.”
“Yeah. I’ll come back here someday. It’s the prettiest sunrise I’ve ever seen.” He turns his face to Jongin and smile. “Good morning, Jongin.”
The prettiest sunrise, indeed.
“Good morning, hyung.”
✈✈✈
06:53 AM
“Thanks, Jongin, for dropping me.”
“I promised Sehun I’d send you back safely, didn’t I?”
“Still, you kidnapped me.”
Jongin grins. “You sure you don’t want me to drop you in front of the motel?”
“Nope, thanks. Here is fine. I’ll just cross this park and then I’ll reach the back door of the motel.” He already takes off his seatbelt, but his fingers still plays with it lids, not letting it go yet. “Um, Jongin. When are you leaving for London?”
“I still don’t know, but not within this week. I still have to attend my sister’s party.”
“Okay. Then when are you coming back to Seoul again?”
Jongin hesitates. “I… I actually don’t have plans to go back. My company wants me to renew the contract. So…”
“So you’re not going to be here. Again.” It’s just a whisper, but Jongin already feels guilty.
Jongin stares at Kyungsoo. “I’m sory.”
“It’s okay. I kinda get used to it, anyway. So today’s the last day I’m going to see you?”
Jongin frowns. “Don’t say that. I will call you when I come back, I promise.”
“No, no. It’s okay. You’ll be busy, I know that.”
“I’ll call you.” Jongin reassures.
“No-you don’t have to. We’re just friends now, Jongin. You really have no obligation to-“
Jongin sighs. He has had enough and then he takes off his safety belt abruptly; his hand reaching for Kyungsoo’s left cheek and leans in to brush their lips together.
The kiss lingers and feels hot on each other’s lips. Jongin breaks it immediately, pausing only to feel each other’s warm breath and that makes him dizzy. Kyungsoo blinks; his eyelashes tickle Jongin’s cheeks. Slowly, Jongin nibbles Kyungsoo’s upper lip and moves to kiss the corner of his lips, to his jawline, and then back to Kyungsoo’s lips.
Kyungsoo doesn’t open his mouth, but he finally closes his eyes. He lets Jongin kisses him, too comfortable with the warmth Jongin gives in this chilly morning. When Jongin uses his hands to graze Kyungsoo’s thighs, Kyungsoo accidentally opens his mouth to let out a moan. Jongin takes that chance to slip his tongue inside, exploring it again after all this time.
Kyungsoo eventually responds to his kiss by capturing Jongin’s lower lip and sucking it gently, with a hand now moved to Jongin’s nape, pulling him to deepen the kiss. Smacking sound fills the car with the way their tongues are dancing. Kyungsoo can feel his blood buzzing in his ears. Jongin’s lips are wonderful, and he misses this so much.
Kyungsoo doesn’t even remember what day it is when he shifts and makes his way to Jongin’s lap. Jongin cooperates by adjusting the seating so Kyungsoo will have more space. Kyungsoo is straddling Jongin as the shorter man circles his arms around Jongin’s neck, bringing them closer as he kisses Jongin hard on the mouth.
Jongin shudders when Kyungsoo starts jerking his hips. He can feel Kyungsoo’s hardening erection through their jeans. Jongin finds Kyungsoo’s parka very disturbing so his hands start to remove the clothing and then tossing it away. Jongin’s warm palm sneaking under Kyungsoo’s black shirt; his palm mapping Kyungsoo’s soft skin and then finding its own way to Kyungsoo’s left nipple.
Kyungsoo moans when Jongin captures his nipple between his thumb and forefinger and tugging it lightly. Jongin smirks in between kisses, making Kyungsoo moves his hips more frantically. Jongin pulls back from the kiss and then ghosting over Kyungsoo’s exposed neck with his lips, wanting to leave marks there but that would be too obvious so he moves to Kyungsoo’s ear and bites it lightly instead.
Kyungsoo squirms on Jongin’s lap, his breath erratic from the friction beneath. His arms are tugging on Jongin’s soft hair, his mouth whispering Jongin’s name softly which Jongin finds it hot on his own ear. And when Jongin moves up his hips to meet Kyungsoo’s crotch, Kyungsoo makes a strangled noise from the back of his throat.
Jongin then puts his palm on Kyungsoo’s mouth, whispering that he needs to be careful because somebody might hear them. Kyungsoo nods. Kyungsoo’s closes his eyes, and then he licks Jongin’s palm that covers his mouth. Jongin understands so he put his thumb on Kyungsoo’s mouth, the latter sucking it while gripping Jongin’s wrist with two hands.
Jongin can’t think straight when all he hears is the obscene sounds caused by Kyungsoo’s sinful lips, and then he whispers to Kyungsoo’s ears, “Do you want it?”
Kyungsoo stops sucking, and slowly he nods.
If it’s really the last time he’s going to see Jongin, then so be it.
Jongin smirks looking at the blush on his cheek. He thumbs Kyungsoo’s cheek and kisses it softly.
Kyungsoo’s fingers run to Jongin’s waistband, his mouth open and eyes dark with lust. Jongin helps Kyungsoo undoing his own jeans’ button and when his hard erection is coming to sight, Kyungsoo wastes no time rubbing the length. Jongin jerks when Kyungsoo tugging his thumbs on Jongin’s slit, the smaller man chuckles as Jongin bites back his moan.
“I miss this,” he says.
Jongin agrees. So he cups Kyungsoo’s cheeks and then kisses his red lips before tugging at Kyungsoo’s waistband to open the zip and expose his erection. From now on, Jongin takes the lead. He grabs Kyungsoo’s arms and placing it on his shoulders. Jongin’s big hand envelope their dicks and start rubbing it together.
Kyungsoo’s hand palms Jongin toned chest after undoing three buttons of Jongin’s purple shirt, biting his lower lips to bite back a moan when Jongin’s hand set a new, quicker pace. He moves his hips to get more friction and when Kyungsoo’s vision fades to black, he can’t suppress his moan as he releases. His breath hitches and his forehead falls onto Jongin’s shoulder.
Jongin’s feeling hazy not long after Kyungsoo comes. Jongin mutters the mixture of swear words and Kyungsoo’s name as the white substance spurts violently on his hands. They stop moving, Jongin’s head is resting on the headrest. His clean hand rubs Kyungsoo’s back as he pulls him back from the crook of his neck.
“Hyung,” Jongin wipes the come that falls on Kyungsoo’s chin, the latter’s eyes still closed. His lips are red and swollen from kissing.
Kyungsoo slowly opens his eyes, his hands clutching on Jongin’s shoulders. In the sunlight that is filtered through the trees, and through Jongin’s car window, Kyungsoo’s silver ring glistened on his fingers. Kyungsoo stares at his ring. Instead of blinding him, the shining ring brings him back to the reality.
He doesn’t realize that he’s been sobbing when Jongin wipes the tear on Kyungsoo’s cheek. Jongin gives him one last kiss, and Kyungsoo makes it linger.
Slowly, Kyungsoo withdraws from Jongin’s lap. He doesn’t want to look at Jongin’s eyes anymore. He silently fixes his clothes and then combing his hair with his fingers to make him look more presentable.
“I should go,” he says, his voice croaks. He picks up his parka and opens the door.
He hears He hears Jongin shouting his name, but Kyungsoo doesn’t turn around.
It feels good, indeed, but it feels so so so so so so so wrong.
And Kyungsoo, in any way, cannot deny that he likes it.
✈✈✈
When Kyungsoo arrives to his room, his roommate has just woken up. Kyungsoo has an hour to get ready for work so he immediately takes a shower to wash the dirt, the sweat, and all the sin he has done today. He winces when he looks at his own lips on the mirror, plumpy and red and still swollen. He rubs it with the back on his hands to erase the memory of Jongin’s own lips, but hell how could he forget that?
Kyungsoo manages to get some sleep for a good fifteen minutes and then goes to work again. He wonders if Sehun will be on the set today because he doesn’t really want to meet anyone today.
Yoora notices that something might happen because Kyungsoo is quieter than before, and he tends to daze off. Kyungsoo accidentally knocks the wall so Yoora sends Kyungsoo off earlier. She even lets him to go home-to Seoul-because Kyungsoo’s shift ends tomorrow anyway, and then he can enjoy his holiday for ten days. But Kyungsoo doesn’t want to. He chooses to around in his room for the rest of the day.
He calls Chanyeol in the afternoon. When he hears his voice, he realizes that he’s been missing his boyfriend so much. Chanyeol even asks what’s wrong because Kyungsoo rarely calls him.
Kyungsoo doesn’t tell him anything, saying that he’s just missing him. Chanyeol laughs, and then teasing Kyungsoo because once again, he rarely says those kinds of thing to him.
“I miss you too, anyway. Come back here, I’ll give you warm big hug.”
Suddenly, Kyungsoo wants to go home.
✈✈✈
Chanyeol picks him up at the train station later that evening. He was waiting in front of his car with a big smile and open arms, and then Kyungsoo practically throws himself at him.
“Whoa, whoa, my Kyungsoo really missed me so much, huh?”
Kyungsoo purses his lips and nuzzles himself to Chanyeol’s neck. He gives a light peck on Chanyeol’s neck. “What? You think I was lying?”
“No, I believe you. Let’s get inside, it’s cold.” Chanyeol lets Kyungsoo go and takes his duffle bag. He bends down to whisper on Kyungsoo’s ear. “People are watching. Let’s go somewhere where people can’t watch.”
Kyungsoo blinks, but he nods anyway.
✈✈✈
Chanyeol takes Kyungsoo to his apartment. He says it’s best to go here because it’s much closer and it’s already late. Kyungsoo can go back to his dusty apartment tomorrow, he reasons, but really, Chanyeol just doesn’t want to waste the food he has cooked for both of them before Kyungsoo comes.
After Kyungsoo washes up, Chanyeol tells Kyungsoo to sleep in his room. Usually Kyungsoo would sleep in Chanyeol’s spare bedroom where his mom or sister sleep when they’re coming over, but now Kyungsoo doesn’t hesitate a bit when he steps into Chanyeol’s cozy room.
He slides himself beneath the comforter before snuggling closer to the big guy. Chanyeol kisses the crown of Kyungsoo’s head before mumbling ‘I love you’ to him.
Kyungsoo doesn’t say it back but instead, he searches for Chanyeol’s lips and brushes his lips with him. Chanyeol doesn’t expect this so he grins very widely when Kyungsoo continues to peck his jaw, his eyes, and his neck.
“Hey, is something wrong?” Chanyeol asks slowly. Kyungsoo isn’t really a clingy type so he’s confused when Kyungsoo is all touchy like this-but he enjoys it anyway.
“No.”
“You just miss me?”
“Hm,” Kyungsoo kisses Chanyeol and then he lays on top of him.
“Chanyeol-ah,” he pleads; eyes suddenly dark with lust. “I want you.”
Not a second later, Chanyeol pulls him down for a passionate kiss.
✈✈✈
Soon Chanyeol flips him so Kyungsoo’s the one beneath, discarding his clothes one by one.
Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol kisses him; on his neck, on his chest, on his thigh. He kisses him back almost as enthusiastically when Chanyeol’s tongue swirls inside his mouth, hands roaming everywhere, feeling Kyungsoo’s smoothness.
Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol take him for tonight because he wants to wash away his sin with Chanyeol’s lips-
-to erase the trace of Kim Jongin on his skin.
In the morning, Chanyeol doesn’t find Kyungsoo beside him when he wakes up.
✈✈✈
Kyungsoo ignores any phone calls and text messages. He doesn’t even check them. He just stays in his apartment for three days and coming out only to buy food, and then he shuts himself again.
He doesn’t shower. He doesn’t sleep either, because if he sleeps, all of his dreams are only about Jongin and nothing else.
One day in the afternoon, somebody knocks the door. Kyungsoo thinks it is the delivery man, but Sehun stands there instead. Sehun is shocked when he sees Kyungsoo’s state, especially when his house is messier than his place. So he throws his hyung to the bathroom and makes him shower, and then kidnaps him for lunch, before heading to their usual gym.
“Burn those fats and fight the laziness, hyung!” He says. For reasons he has yet to fathom, Kyungsoo lets Sehun take care of him. So he slowly climbs on the treadmill and set the machine in walking pace.
“How are you feeling now, hyung?”
“I’m tired. Let’s go home after this,”
Sehun rolls his eyes. “You haven’t told me what happened between you and Jongin in Gyeongju. So how was it? Did you guys make up already?”
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and then sighs heavily. “I don’t know, Sehun. We just-talked, and then everything feels so wrong. I should’ve never met him. This is all your fault.”
“Why?”
“I can’t think straight, Sehun.” Kyungsoo punches the stop button and places his hands on his hips. “I’ve been building a wall to separate my past and my present, but then Jongin hits it and break it. And now I don’t even know where the border is. He keeps coming back to my head and when I distract myself with everything-with job, with Chanyeol, I can’t seem to get rid of him.”
This time Sehun sets the treadmill into walking pace. “It’s actually simple, hyung.” He pants. He tries to control his breath first, and then reassuring Kyungsoo again. “You love Jongin. You always have. You will. You do. Maybe it’s time to stop denying your own feelings and accept that your heart cannot accept any other person beside Jongin. You guys still love each other and that’s it.”
“Sehun, I have a boyfriend. You know that.”
“I do! I know, hyung. But you love Jongin.” He looks at his hyung in disbelief. Sehun wipes his perspiration with the towel that hangs around his neck, and the girls running accross them giggles when Sehun does that. “Tell me, hyung, who occupies your mind most of the time? Your sick grandmother? Your job? Just like the ads in the billboard say; If you can’t think about it, buy it. If you can’t think about him, then you love him!”
Kyungsoo sighs. “But I don’t-“
Sehun covers his ears with his hands. “Aaaaablablablabla I can’t hear you aaaaalalalalalla you’re so full of denial hyung stop it aaaaaa…”
Kyungsoo pouts.
Despite any of that, Sehun still lets Kyungsoo left the gym after he sweats enough.
✈✈✈
Kyungsoo finally replies everyone’s message the day after, including Chanyeol’s text. And after an hour of sending Chanyeol a message, the tall guy rings his bell and brings him a plastic bag with two boxes of takoyaki.
He greets Kyungsoo with big smile, but he doesn’t ask anything about Kyungsoo’s absence in this few days. He pretends as if nothing happened, and Kyungsoo realy appreciates it. Kyungsoo eats the takoyaki hungrily, saying that it’s the best snack ever. He bids Chanyeol goodbye when the night comes, the latter says that he will come again at eight in the morning, and says that hopefully Kyungsoo will have showered by then.
Kyungsoo is so lucky. He has supportive friends, cooperating boss, a nice job, and a loving boyfriend. He should be grateful. He hugs Chanyeol awkwardly before sending him home at the doorframe.
✈✈✈
At eight o’clock, Kyungsoo has breakfast already and he has showered. He changes into comfortable clothes, the ring given by Chanyeol encircles his left ring finger.
The ring feels heavy; but he doesn’t want to disappoint Chanyeol.
Kyungsoo wears his best smile when Chanyeol knocks at eight thirty, but then the red-haired man styles his hair up and wears dark slacks, white dress shirt, and a black blazer on top of that.
“We’re going to a wedding today! And you can’t say no.”
Chanyeol pulls Kyungsoo to his closet and then picks him the best attire he has. Kyungsoo put them on after kicking Chanyeol out of his room (he insists he wants to see him change), and then comes out after he combs his hair.
“You look wonderful.” Chanyeol smiles when he sees Kyungsoo in all-black suit and a beige shirt.
✈✈✈
They arrive at the venue right on time. Kyungsoo asks whose wedding it is, but Chanyeol says that he doesn’t know either. He comes in his sister’s stead since Yoora is still working in Gyeongju. The groom is Yoora’s college friend.
“It’s… Choi Seungyoon and Kim Minji’s wedding.” Chanyeol reads the invitation again before they head out of the car.
“Kim Minji?”
“Yeah. My sister knows the groom, Seungyoon-hyung. They’re college friend. You don’t mind coming as my date, do you?”
“No, of course not.”
“I heard one of the siblings is an important person. I wonder who…”
As they enter the venue, Chanyeol smiles to the big family who stand on the foyer from afar before pulling Kyngsoo with him.
Kyungsoo doesn’t need his glasses to make sure that the Kims there are the Kims, a family whom Kyungsoo knows really well. It is Jongin’s family. He lets out a sigh when he remembers that Kim Minji is actually Jongin’s sister.
Jongin himself stands there too. He is smiling, greeting the other guest as he bows. His hair is styled up and his grey suit really fits him.
Kyungsoo chuckles.
Of course, Kim Minji. The name isn’t that unfamiliar because Jongin had mentioned her numerous time-Minji noona this, Minji-noona that. Of course.
Kyungsoo’s knees are turning into jelly. He isn’t sure if he better runs and leaves Chanyeol, but before he even finished thinking, Chanyeol already introduced him to the Chois. Kyungsoo smiles at them, and when they’re about to greet the Kims, he clutches at Chanyeol’s pinky finger.
Jongin meets his eyes. The sun-kissed man stares at Kyungsoo in astonishment, and then turns to look at Chanyeol.
“Kyungsoo-hyung.”
The two of them stares at each other, but Chanyeol is the one who notice this and nudges Kyungsoo in the elbow. “You know him?”
Jongin notices Chanyeol and bows at him. “Hello, I’m Kyungsoo’s… old friend. My name’s Kim Jongin-”
Chanyeol’s smile fades when he hears the name. He bows back a little and continues to greet the other Kims and then pulls Kyungsoo to get inside the church.
Chanyeol knows about Jongin.
Kyungsoo's ex has always been a sensitive topic amongst Kyungsoo's friends. This part of Kyungsoo's past is and will always be known not because Kyungsoo often talks about his ex-boyfriend, but because Kyungsoo's friend always tease him about that even in casual conversation. Baekhyun even makes some meme about Kyungsoo and Jongin and spread the pic in their circle of friends. Not to mention that Kyungsoo's boyfriend(s) are no less nosy than Baekhyun himself.
Actually, the postcards pasted by magnets on fridge are the real culprit. Kyungsoo does not want to pull them off because that would make his fridge looks less aesthetic so he's just never remove it from there. He doesn't expect anyone to pick them, flip the card and read the words written behind them (they're mostly silly poems and puns anyway) but he just needs to tell them who's "J", the sender of every British postcard.
Chanyeol also knows. He even remembers one of the puns and used it once but that makes Kyungsoo to be sulky all day. That's when Chanyeol knows that Kyungsoo can't really forget this person.
‘The legendary ex’ is the nickname.
Kyungsoo hears Chanyeol mutters softly, “So Yoora-noona was right.”
✈✈✈
They spend the whole wedding without saying anything to each other. They clap when they have to, and they smile when they need to. When they were feasting, Kyungsoo excuses himself to the restroom. Chanyeol scoffs at that. “Wanna meet your ex?”
Kyungsoo just sighs. “I want to pee.”
But fate must hate Kyungsoo because he meets Jongin in the hallway. He is leaning to the wall, hands on his pockets. Jongin seems to wait for Kyungsoo too.
“Hyung, wait.” Jongin grabs Kyungsoo softly on his arms and then pulls him into a more secluded hallway. “We always meet at unexpected place.”
“Indeed we do,” Kyungsoo agrees. Just how eager the universe is for wanting them to meet again and again? He’s so done with this.
“I tried calling you, hyung-Sehun gave me your number. But it’s always off.”
“Yeah. I didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“You left Gyeongju without telling me,”
Kyungsoo shrugs. “Why sould I?”
Jongin’s shoulders sag. ”No, no, you didn’t have to. But at least, if you told me, I could’ve accompanied you to the station.” Jongin clears his throat. “Is he… Is the guy from before your boyfriend?”
Kyungsoo nods. His gaze falls onto Jongin’s shiny shoes, and he starts to fiddle with his fingers.
“Oh… Alright. He seems nice.” Jongin nods. “Hyung, I’ll be going back to London tomorrow. So I think this is farewell.”
When Jongin doesn’t get any response from Kyungsoo, his hand reaches for Kyungsoo’s left cheek. Kyungsoo’s shoulders become tense, but he lets Jongin anyway. He always lets him.
“But before that, I need to know something. Please tell me that you love him. That you’re madly in love with him, so I can let you go. All I care about is your happiness now.”
Why, Jongin. Why.
Kyungsoo finally rests his gaze on Jongin’s eyes. “Yes, I love him,” he says, trying to be as convincing as possible.
Jongin nods. His eyes glint with water. “That’s good. That’s alright…” He rubs Kyungsoo’s cheek with his thumbs.
Kyungsoo still lets him.
“One more thing, hyung. Now tell me that the kiss-w-what we did when we last met-means nothing to you; that it was a mistake.”
Kyungsoo lets Jongin transferring the warmth-the love-from his palms to his cheek before answering.
No, it’s not a mistake. It means everything to me.
“It was a mistake.”
Jongin nods and withdraws his hand from Kyungsoo’s cheek. He smiles at Kyungsoo, the warmest smile that he gives today.
Kyungsoo looks at him, his hands are balling into fists. He tries so hard not to let the tears in his eyes fall, not to hug Jongin for the last time.
“Farewell, Kim Jongin.”
“Farewell, hyung.” Jongin bows to him. “Thank you for coming.”
Kyungsoo nods and then he leaves.
✈✈✈
After the wedding party, Chanyeol doesn't drop Kyungsoo at home rightaway. He makes a turn in Yeongdong Avenue and then stops by the COEX Aquarium. It is the aquarium when Chanyeol confessed about his feelings seven months ago.
They are walking towards the Open Ocean exhibition. Kyungsoo follows Chanyeol silently, the shorter man hugging his suit jacket as he sits beside Chanyeol on one of the bench.
"You know, I believe that relationship won't work if the two of them don't communicate well." Chanyeol starts. He looks at the fish swimming behind the glass walls, most of them are blue and yellow and green. Kyungsoo listens. "My past relationships also didn't work because of miscommunication. I can't stand long distance relationship because I'm gonna miss my lover so bad and I don't know what to do if I reach my limit.
"I care about you so much, Kyungsoo. I text you every day to know if you're doing fine. I don't know if you find it annoying, being so nosy and somehow possessive, but that's just me trying to keep our relationship. We don't actually have any distance problem; we only live two stations away and your friends are my friends too. Well, except your celebrity friends.
"But lately, Kyungsoo, only lately, I feel like you are not here when you're beside me. You’re just an arm's length away but your soul wanders, and I can't find the light in your eyes anymore. I wonder where you're going, across the ocean? To England, perhaps?"
"What… what are you trying to say, Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo whispers.
"What I'm gonna say is, I think I'm the only one who's trying to keep this relationship afloat. I know you loved me; I never doubt, Kyungsoo-at least until several days ago when you make love to me out of guilt."
Kyungsoo replies in bewilderment, "…out of guilt?” He hissed at the last word. “Why did you suddenly say that? What do you mean, Chanyeol? We’re doing fine-we just bumped into my old friend and then he’ll be gone anyway why are you telling me this now?"
Chanyeol shuts Kyungsoo by grabbing his hand and squeezing it with both of his hands. "Kyungsoo, I know everything.”
He takes a deep breath.
“When are you going to tell me that you met Jongin in Gyeongju? Yoora-noona told me. You guys met on set, and then at night he took you with him.”
Kyungsoo gulps. He thinks he knows where this conversation will be going. “It’s not like what you think-we just talked and we went for a drive, and that’s all.”
“Kyungsoo, listen to me. You came back the next morning. I didn't know what the two of you did, I don’t actually care-but still-you should've told me. Or maybe, you should’ve not met him at all. You know I don’t like this. We’ve talked about this before, Kyungsoo.”
"But we didn’t do anything-“ Kyungsoo tries to look at Chanyeol, but then he is never a good liar. “He… he kissed me. But it was a mistake, Chanyeol. I’m-sorry.”
Chanyeol sighs. “So you guys kissed. Okay.” He still holds Kyungsoo's arm in his hands and then look at Kyungsoo in the eyes deeply. "Then tell me, Kyungsoo, do you love me?"
Kyungsoo looks at him in the eyes, his eyes start watering and he thinks about how dare he, Park Chanyeol, questioning his feelings?
“You can’t lie, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo could've just said yes, but there's a lump in his throat and he can’t lie to anyone anymore. Including Chanyeol.
Including himself.
"Chanyeol, I..."
As Chanyeol closes his eyes and smile, he withdraws his hands and then pats Kyungsoo on the head.
In Kyungsoo's hesitation, Chanyeol finds the answer.
✈✈✈
The next day, Kyungsoo wakes up earlier than before. He jogs around the neighborhood for a good twenty minutes, and then showers and changes into comfortable clothes.
His hand doesn’t feel heavy anymore. There’s no silver ring encircles his fingers; he has put it back in the box and buried it in the furthermost part of his drawer. He might never open it anymore. Chanyeol doesn’t call him or sending him a good morning text like usual. Of course he won’t.
He’ll have to thank Chanyeol somehow, anyway. He has been a great friend. But he still can ask about Chanyeol’s whereabout to Yoora. She’s the reason they were dating, anyway. Kyungsoo is sure Yoora will understand. She’s the kindest sister out there; a sister he never has.
Today, Kyungsoo finally cleans his dusty apartment. People say that cleaning is therapeutic, and Kyungsoo believes that. He likes the smell of the fruity air freshener, the smell of pine in his bathroom, and he likes it when the floor is shining, reflecting the furniture.
He collects the garbage and throws out leftover food that's left on his counter, and then throwing away three packs of natto that have been expired two weeks ago. His fridge reeks of the fermented soybean, but he'll take care of that later. He wonders why he likes natto when the smell is just unbearable.
He wants to make breakfast, but his fridge is almost empty now. He has nothing to cook. So he slams the fridge a little too hard out of annoyance until one of the magnet falls out, along with the postcard.
✈✈✈
It is a postcard of Blackfriars Bridge with a line saying "when the two souls meet" qith fancy font on it. Kyungsoo sits on the floor and sits Indian style.
He flips the card, seeing Jongin's uneven, small handwriting. He reads it in Jongin's excited tone:
"HyunGg!! I found a reaaaally cool song and I think this is me some times ago when I'm afraid that you'll say no to me when I asked you out?? Hehehe. This is a super simple acoustic song and the lyrics have no fancy words in it but they're just so beautiful?? Like you? Hehe. The title is the 'The Fear You Won't Fall'. Listen to it sometimes.
Love, J.
PS. I received your package!! Thank you for the kimchi. x
Kyungsoo knows the song by heart and as his eyes close, he suddenly hears violin in his head. He hums the song without any hesitation.
Come find me
It hasn’t felt like this before
It hasn’t felt like home before you
And I miss you more than I should
But I thought I could
Can’t get my mind off of you
I know you’re scared that I’ll soon be over it
That’s part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you-
-is the fear you won’t fall
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath.
He clutches hard at the postcard, but still careful so he won't bend it.
He searches his phone and he finds it on the couch. He punches Sehun’s number, doesn’t care if he’s working or not. He mutters “thank God” when Sehun answers it in the third beep.
‘Yeah, hyung?’
“Sehun do you know when Jongin will come back to London?”
‘What? Hyung are you sure? Why do you ask?’
"When, Sehun?" He hisses.
‘Urm, if I'm not mistaken he'll take afternoon flight but I don't know but I think he hasn't taken off yet he just texted me a while ago and-‘
Without even bothering to finish him talk, Kyungsoo shortly replies, "Thanks."
✈✈✈
Jongin insists that his mother and sister not to wait for his plane, because really, he’s an adult now. But his mother doesn’t want to leave the lounge, not when she still can see his son whom she doesn’t know when he will be coming home again.
Jongin is talking to his sister about the upcoming election when his mother nudges his elbow.
“Dear, isn’t that your friend? I forgot the name… Who is it?” His mother points her finger to a man who is looking around, walking to and fro.
Jongin follows his mother’s direction and squinting his eyes to see who it is. Could it be Sehun? But he doesn’t find the tall, lanky man-instead he finds a short guy who’s wearing a green parka. The green parka.
Jongin stands up and then hands his bag to his sister. “Hold it for me and wait!”
He runs towards Kyungsoo, his Kyungsoo hyung, and then he catches his arms.
Kyungsoo turns around, his mouth opens to say something but maybe he is speechless. Jongin smiles the widest he can. “You’re here, hyung.”
“Jongin! I’ve been looking for you. When are you taking off?”
Jongin looks at his watch. “About half an hour from now,”
“Thank God.” Kyungsoo sighs of relief. When he realizes that Jongin is holding him, he detaches himself from Jongin abruptly. “H-hey, it’s a public place, Jongin. What if reporter sees you…”
Jongin laughs. He takes Kyungsoo’s hand again. “It’s okay, hyung. My reporters are just teenage fangirls and they are not capable of publishing a big headline news. Besides, I don’t think I’m that famous.”
Jongin drags him to sit on the empty chairs just near his families. Kyungsoo notices Jongin’s mother and sister, so he bows before sitting beside Jongin. His sister waves at him. They were friends, after all. Taerin-noona used to tease them back in high school.
The airport is noisy, but that’s an advantage because anyone will never overhear them.
“What makes you come? I thought we bid goodbyes already.”
Kyungsoo looks at Jongin shyly. “I… came here because of this.” He hands Jongin a small brown box. He opens it slowly and takes out whatever inside.
They are Jongin’s postcards. The colors are fading, Jongin notices, as flips through them. “God, my handwriting was so ugly. So you still keep it. Hyung, why are you showing me this?” He turns his head to Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo smiles. “Thousands of miles, Jongin. These postcards had flown thousands of miles to connect us. And I just don’t want their effort to be wasted.”
Jongin smiles, but he still doesn’t understand.
Kyungsoo continues. “I’ve known you for almost ten years. You’ve been occupying my mind for ten years. You are my love for ten years-ten years and still counting.” He sighs. “I was lying to you, Jongin. I was lying when I said I love my boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend. I was lying when I said the kiss means nothing to me.”
Jongin is taken aback. He doesn’t say anything for a good minute, and then he chuckles. He nods vigorously. “I believed the first part, hyung, but I know you were lying when you said the kiss was nothing. I know you clearly enjoyed by how you kissed me back.” Jongin leans in to whisper to Kyungsoo. “Especially when you let me touch you,”
Kyungsoo’s ears redden, and then he smacks Jongin softly on his arm. “Shut it, Jongin!”
“It’s okay. I know I’m irresistible.” Jongin teases him. He winks at the embarrassed Kyungsoo.
“Well-!” Kyungsoo clears his throat, “What I mean is, distance shouldn’t be an obstacle. It should be a reminder of how strong our love can be, and-and it should give me a reason to-to-“
Jongin laughs. He put the postcard box and takes both of Kyungsoo’s hands in his. He rubs the back of Kyungsoo’s hands with his thumbs, and then Jongin smiles when he notices that Kyungsoo doesn’t wear the silver ring anymore.
“Save your speech, hyung, I get it. I love you too.”
Kyungsoo squirms in his seat. “You got it?”
“I got it. You are madly in love with me. So I should take this chance or I’ll be murdered by Sehun for making you miserable again. You dumped your boyfriend for me. Wow!”
Kyungsoo’s lips pulls into a smile. “Yeah. That’s the things I do for love,” He squeezes Jongin’s hand back. “But you’re still going home to London. And I’ll be left alone. Again.”
“Going home? Wait, I’m going to work, hyung. My home is here. Wherever you are, that’s my home.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “You have a sweet mouth.”
“Listen, hyung. I still have some papers to sign with the agency and then I’ll be free. My contract with the agency will be over this December.”
“You said your agency wants to renew the contract with you?”
Jongin shrugs. “I can always reject.” He squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand. “So, until then, would you wait for me?”
Kyungsoo slowly smiles, the most sincere Jongin has ever seen. “Always, Jongin. Isn’t that what I’ve been doing in the past seven years?”
Jongin groans, he takes a deep breath. “Hyung, can I kiss you?”
“It’s an airport,” Kyungsoo hisses.
Jongin purses his lips. He grips Kyungsoo’s hand tighter, then. They are kissing by their entwined fingers, by their gaze, by their smile. It is enough as long as they know that they love each other.
Kyungsoo lets go of Jongin’s hand when Jongin’s going to board, and then Jongin eventually hugs him after he hugs his mother and his sister. Kyungsoo also steals a peck on his neck when Jongin’s hugging him.
✈✈✈
Jongin and Kyungsoo’s past will be a story-a story of long, boring days and lonely nights. They know the pain of being apart, even when it gives some bruises. But wound heals. Time heals. Both of them are waithing for the day when they don’t have to miss each other anymore.
And that time will come, someday.
“See you later, hyung!”
“See you, Jongin.”
✈✈✈
Three months later…
It’s at Incheon Airport again. Kyungsoo dials Jongin’s number, but the operator lady answers him instead.
‘The number you are calling is not active-‘
Kyungsoo curses. He has been waiting at the airport for an hour, and it is too cold. The snow is falling outside, and he is still waiting for his lover.
He tries to call with LineCall to try some luck, and luckily Jongin answers it.
“Where the fuck are you, Kim Jongin? I’m in front of Gate 7!”
‘Hyung-I’m sorry.’ He answers with a low voice, as if he’s in the middle of a meeting and not supposed to answer a call. ‘I forgot to tell you yesterday. Something urgent came up so I have to stay in London until-‘
“What the fuck, Jongin, you little piece of shit?!” Kyungsoo raises his voice. He doesn’t care when people starts to stare at him. “You’re still in London?!”
‘Hyung. I’m sorry. I have to hang up. My client is here.’
And then the line goes dead. Kyungsoo stares at his phone in disbelief, his mouth is still open.
Kyungsoo is about to punch the wall when someone throws himself from behind and circles his arms around him. Kyungsoo almost fell.
“Gotcha, hyung!”
Kyungsoo turns his head with much difficulty and sees Jongin laughing his hearts out. “Kim fucking Jongin!”
Kyungsoo releases himself as Jongin wipes the corner of his eyes from laughing too much.
“You should’ve seen your face,”
Kyungsoo punches him on his chest, and Jongin winces at that. “Come with me you ungrateful shit, Sehun’s waiting in the car.”
Jongin still giggles, even when he gets in the car. Both of them sit at the back seat because Baekhyun sits at the passenger seat. Jongin gives his senior a highfive before Sehun gives them an annoyed look. “What took you so long?!”
“Your friend tries to pull a prank. And don’t speak informal to me, Oh Sehun.” Kyungsoo snaps.
“You’ve grown up so much, Jongin!” Baekhyun’s eyes glisten as he sees Jongin for the first time after all these years.
“I am! You’re still clinging to Sehun?”
“If you mean the other way round, then yes. Sehun can’t live without me.”
Sehun pouts and drives the car anyway, leaving the airport with much annoyance because the two people at the back won’t stop bickering. Baekhyun only shakes his head, but he’s smiling widely because this reminds him to high school time when everything is beautiful and happy and perfect.
And they’re back on track.
Sehun hopes that the two friends at the back will end the fight and brings back the calmness in his car but he regrets it later so much because when they are not fighting, they are kissing.
“Baekhyun-hyung, please tell them to stop! My virgin ears need to be saved!”
F I N