(for coupdeplume) my whole universe (is you) ✸ part 1 of 3
❊ for: coupdeplume
❊ title: my whole universe (is you)
❊ pairings: kai/d.o
❊ rating: pg13
❊ word count: 27,304
❊ summary: Kyungsoo knows that life isn't going to be easy for him.
❊ a/n: I'm so sorry because this doesn't really match with your prompt and ended up a bit too long, I can only hope you don't fall asleep while reading this orz but thank you for the prompt, it's not ///that/// difficult to write hahaha and also thank you for the mods for the extension(s).... sorry for being slow u___u last but not least, my beautiful, beautiful beta!! You've worked really hard for my fics sorry for troubling you so much, thank you and I love you!
People say that happiness is being able to see the good in everything. They say it’s about being thankful and living life while smiling to everyone, because waking up in the morning is a blessing. Happiness is something inside that we bring out and not the other way around. We need to do things that make us happy and spend time with people we love to make the best of everything we have.
Those kinds of words have been edited on beautiful pictures of sceneries, seen as cliché quotes that don’t impact people’s lives that much. Yet Kyungsoo hangs on them, gripping rather harshly only to get on his feet and stand without falling again. He wants to believe in them. He wants his life to be beautiful,he wants to smile all day without too many worries stacked on his shoulders, but he can’t.
Not when he’s being pushed into a locker that’s too small for him to fit in, even when his body is nearly folded in half. But the bigger boys around him keep on forcing the door closed, making Kyungsoo writhe in pain.
“P-please stop... it hurts...” Kyungsoo begs, eyes stinging from too much crying, and he sobs because the warmth from his tears can’t soothe him. What’s the good in this? How can he be thankful in a situation like this?
“Oooh, he’s begging!” one of the boys mocks as he slams the door and laughs when the cold surface hits Kyungsoo’s legs hard.
It takes another 15 minutes of abusing and laughing until they go because they’re bored, and all that’s left is Kyungsoo and his pitiful cries. He wants to walk and go home, but his legs and feet feel numb because they were folded for too long and he needs some time until he can feel them again.
How can he spend his time with the people he loves when it’s wasted being abused here and there? He doesn’t have the time to do what makes him happy because he is not happy. He’s bullied and pushed around, people make fun of him and look down on him. He’s always in the top 5 in the class but no one congratulates him or feels happy for him. His parents don’t care because all they do is fight and his older brother is an asshole who doesn’t even bother coming home unless everyone is asleep.
He hates his life.
As he makes his way to the gate with trembling legs, he notices an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach and realizes he didn’t eat lunch today. Even though his mother still pays for his lunch, his card to enter the canteen had been taken away by the bullies and he couldn’t do anything about that.
He stops in his tracks when a ball rolls to his feet and stops there. There are voices who tell him to kick the ball back to the students who are still playing, but Kyungsoo doesn’t do anything. He only turns his head when a kid who’s slightly taller than him starts running in his direction.
“Kyungsoo Hyung!” the kid calls with a wide grin, but Kyungsoo doesn’t even smile back. He’s too tired to respond. When the kid is close enough, he gasps at the bruises on Kyungsoo’s arms and he quickly examines them carefully. “Hyung, what’s wrong? Did they beat you again? Why didn’t you call me? You should’ve called me!”
This time, Kyungsoo finally smiles at the kid’s whine, feeling a bit warm because of the sweet affection. The smile on Kyungsoo’s face makes the kid less worried, but that doesn’t change the bruises on the older boy’s arms so the kid bends down to take the ball.
“I’ll walk you home, Hyung. Wait here!”
The kid walks away and he tells his friend that he’s going home first before getting back to Kyungsoo. The width of his smile is still the same, and Kyungsoo feels like all the warmth from the sun is there, shining rays at him. He’s beautiful, Kyungsoo thinks, feeling so grateful at how sincere the kid smiles at him.
“Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo calls, amused at how calm it is to be beside him.
“Yeah?” Jongin smiles wider, but Kyungsoo shakes his head and starts walking, the younger boy following after him. The walk is silent, but it’s the accidental brushes of their hands that bring a mist of comfort to Kyungsoo’s heart and he knows that there’s nothing to worry about. At least right now.
Jongin and Kyungsoo are neighbours, and have been since they were born. When they were old enough to play outside their parents introduced them to each other, and they have been best friends ever since, holding hands to school and racing to go home after playing in the park. Jongin is more into physical activities like sports while Kyungsoo is a bookworm who locks himself in his room until the younger calls him to play outside. Despite the differences they have, they get along really well and they’re inseparable.
Things changed in elementary school because Kyungsoo doesn’t like to fight and stays quiet when someone throws a crumpled paper to his head. Suddenly he was subject to bullying and the distance between him and his friends increased until he had no friends. Things changed again when Jongin found out the situation Kyungsoo was in, because he stood up for his hyung. But the bullies didn’t back away. They still don’t, and still trying to get entertainment out of bullying Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo always tries to convince himself that he’s okay despite being only nine years old with all the cuts and bruises on his body. He always tells himself that, ‘I’ll get used to it,’ or, ‘it’s not as painful as the first time he punched me,’ but he knows that those are just sweet nothings he whispers to soothe the wounds on his skin.
They arrive in front of Kyungsoo’s house, but just as Kyungsoo holds the gate a shrill voice pierces through his ears and he stops, knowing that his parents are fighting. Jongin hears it too, the hair on his nape stands as a scream makes it way to the front door and there’s a loud crash from inside. He can’t let Kyungsoo enters his house in that kind of condition so he takes Kyungsoo’s hand in his, pulling slightly.
“Hyung,” he calls, trying to layer his tone with something sweet and warm. “Let’s go to my house, I’ll ask noona to take care of your wound! And mom bought me ice cream yesterday! I want to eat it with you!”
It’s these kind of moments where Kyungsoo lets himself get dragged into Jongin’s house, greets his sisters and only smiles when they ask him what’s with the bruises on his arm. Jongin’s noonas are just as kind as their brother, smiles radiating with warmth and touches gentle. The eldest sister takes care of Kyungsoo while the younger one takes out the ice cream for both boys, and Kyungsoo still thinks that the thank yous he’s said to them aren’t enough.
He only comes back home after Jongin’s mom succeeded in shoving dinner down his throat and he’s sure that the fight between his parents has come to an end.
--
As the sun rays seep through the thin of his curtain, Kyungsoo isn’t sure if this is what they call a blessing when he wakes up to the rough voice of his dad complaining to his mom about breakfast. He ignores the sound of his dad smashing a glass and the furious shrieks from his mom in return. It’s tiring him that they keep on hating each other without getting bored of it.
The toasts are swallowed down with a gloomy face, and Kyungsoo knows he feels full more because of his parents’ terrifying voices than because of his breakfast. His brother only stops at the dining table to quickly munch on his breakfast before speeding to school. Kyungsoo knows he’s too small to handle the fighting couple so he runs after his brother, seeking safety.
Seungsoo might be a quiet brother and it seems like he doesn’t care, but at least he lets Kyungsoo walk with him and the younger brother is thankful for that.
“I’m moving out of that house when I finish junior high,” Seungsoo says suddenly, the remark gets Kyungsoo to widen his eyes. “I’m going to a school in town and I’ll live with a friend.”
“B-but what about me?”Kyungsoo asks, eyes start getting teary. Even though he doesn’t really talk with his brother, the presence of the older boy gives him a sense of comfort, something like, ‘I’m not the only one who’s tired of this.’ If Seungsoo goes, he’ll be alone in the house and he doesn’t know how to bear with his parents.
“You should move out too, Kyungsoo,” he says between gritted teeth, voice already laced with fury. “They don’t know how to keep quiet for shit, and I’m only staying because I’m too young to live alone or to apply for a job.”
3 years is not a big gap, but Seungsoo’s legs are a lot longer than Kyungsoo’s since the younger brother is smaller than kids his age, so in seconds, Seungsoo takes long, quick strides and leaves Kyungsoo alone. Deep down inside, Kyungsoo knows his brother cares about him, but not enough to actually hold his hand and guide him to a better side of life.
School is never fun, so Kyungsoo doesn’t bother to walk in with a smile. Sooner or later, the bullies will come and grip his hair viciously, leaving Kyungsoo tired and humiliated. He never misses the glances from his classmates-the pity and fear in their eyes. Kyungsoo sees it all. The image is already making his body shake in horror, so he buries his face between his arms in case anyone would see him crying, but he knows that no one actually cares about him.
He’s wrong, though, because the bullies don’t come to get him until lunch time and he doesn’t know why because most of them are from different classes. The class is almost empty but Kyungsoo stays in his seat because he can’t enter the canteen to grab lunch. He almost jumps when a card is thrown onto his table, his name on it. As he looks up, it’s Jongin, arms folded and shorts dirty.
“That’s your card! Let’s get lunch together!” Jongin announces suddenly before pulling Kyungsoo’s hand.
“Did you... did you take this from them?” Kyungsoo asks in awe, fingers shaking as he holds his lunch card. It’s been a while since he’s seen it.
“Yeah! I beat them on the face!” Jongin punches his fist to his other palm, face looking angry but it doesn’t hide the innocence in his eyes. “You’re having lunch with me from now on! That way they won’t approach you again!”
That makes Kyungsoo blink in confusion, but he smiles anyway. Without saying anything, he lets Jongin pull his hand and they walk together to the canteen. It’s the first time Kyungsoo feels at peace without the scary images of the bigger boys kicking him dangling behind his eyelids. Jongin usually doesn’t spend this much time with him because he’s a cheerful kid who has friends tailing behind him every day, but today, he’s exclusively for Kyungsoo. He talks a lot and always tries to make Kyungsoo laugh, every curve of Kyungsoo’s lips brings happiness for him.
Because that way, he knows that at least Kyungsoo feels better than he did yesterday.
Days continue like that with Jongin and his smile beside Kyungsoo, and even though the bullies sometimes still come to beat Kyungsoo up, Jongin is quick to come and kick them away. Jongin learns to wake up thirty minutes earlier so he can go to school with Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo will sit on the side of the field while Jongin plays soccer so they can go home together.
They spend most of their time in Jongin’s house, playing Playstation or taking Jongin’s puppies to the park for a walk. Jongin’s family understands the situation of Kyungsoo’s family, so they let Kyungsoo stay in their house as long as he wants. Dinners are eaten together, laughs are shared, and Jongin’s bed is always where they talk together until they fall asleep.
Kyungsoo realizes that maybe this is the good he can see in his life. It’s happiness that he feels when Jongin comes to him, it’s a blessing that he wakes up to the sound of Jongin knocking on his door early in the morning. Sure, Kyungsoo is still punched on his stomach once or twice because Jongin has his own social circle and he can’t protect Kyungsoo 24/7. But Kyungsoo is content with that, because at the end of the day, Jongin will be with him.
It’s one overcast night when both boys are sitting on Jongin’s bed, telling their own stories. Kyungsoo tells Jongin that he’s tired, that he doesn’t want to meet the bullies again, that he’s scared. It’s not the first time Kyungsoo’s told Jongin about this, but the pain seems to grow in every new story. The pain may be thin and laces the corners of Kyungsoo’s voice, but it rips through Jongin’s heart and he can’t take it anymore.
The older boy cries into his hands, sobs muffled but they still fill the silence of Jongin’s room. Jongin takes one of his hands and laces their fingers together.
“Hyung,” he whispers, and Kyungsoo is surprised because Jongin’s voice is just as scared as his. “Let’s be... together forever. I-I can’t be beside you all day, but...”
Jongin holds Kyungsoo’s hand tighter, and Kyungsoo notices the subtle tremor in his tanned hand. He looks up and their eyes meet, but Jongin casts his gaze to their connected hands again.
“I promise that... I’ll always protect you, Hyung.”
The promise that Jongin’s just made keeps on resonating in his head and Kyungsoo starts to tear up again. He bites his lip, because the words of that promise fill the cold gaps between their linking fingers. Without letting go of Jongin’s hand, he hugs his best friend, buries his face in Jongin’s shoulder and clutches the back of his shirt.
“Thank you, Jongin-ah,” he murmurs quietly. “Thank you.”
--
It's hot where Kyungsoo is standing, and he doesn't know if he can stand it any longer. He normally doesn't sweat much, and that's why he feels so uncomfortable with the wet tips of his bangs sticking to his forehead. He normally doesn't blink much too, but he needs to blink more right now because his eyes are drying faster in this heat.
The girls around him scream again, making him hiss in annoyance. They're noisy, and he's trying hard not to slap them on the face, especially the ones standing closest to him. He focuses on the field instead where a group of boys are playing touch foot; a safer way to play football where the tackle is excluded because they were too lazy to wear uniforms.
A player meets Kyungsoo's gaze and a wide grin rises almost immediately upon seeing Kyungsoo is still there.
Let's go home!, Kyungsoo mouths to him, and the player frowns at him. One of Kyungsoo's brows arches under his bangs when the player turns around to talk to another player but he's quick to turn around again.
With a toothy grin, he lifts two fingers and Kyungsoo easily interprets is as, two minutes left. Kyungsoo adjusts the strap of his bag on his shoulder as the player mouths at him, gate, and he leaves.
The life of Do Kyungsoo is so different now that he's a lot older. He's grown up to be a grumpy male that's no longer bullied, but instead shoots death glares at people. He normally looks nerdy with his round glasses and short haircut, but his expression is scary and people actually run away from him when he's mad.
He's still inactive as ever. There's no club that pulls his interest, so he spends time in the library, studying. He doesn't really have a friend his year that he's close to, but his friends rely on him a lot when it comes to studying and he's glad to help them. Most of the times, he prefers to be alone, but he doesn't reject when his friends tell him to join them to hang out on weekends. It's safe to say that his socializing skills have gotten better these past years.
He doesn't live in his parents' house anymore, either. His brother had been encouraging him to move out and he did when he entered high school. His old house was emptied and his parents moved to Gyeonggi where they originally came from. The studio apartment he's living in is small and he has to limit the usage of utilities to press the bills, but at least he doesn't have to deal with endless screaming from his parents 24/7.
One thing that doesn't change, though, is his relationship with Jongin. Even though they aren't neighbors anymore, they still go to school and go home together.
Jongin is a part of their school's football team. He's the running back during offense and the linebacker during defense. Ever since he joined the team, he's been attracting almost half of the school's population and made the team so popular. More than that, since he's naturally athletic, he's close to snatching the title of Ace that's currently in the hands of Park Chanyeol, the receiver.
It saddens him sometimes that he can’t be with Jongin as often, but the younger’s text of ‘wait for me at the gate at 4!’ never fails to make him smile. It’s also common for him to go to the field and wait until Jongin’s practice is over so they can walk to the station together.
Kyungsoo stands there, near the gate and busies himself with his phone. It’s not long after that a sweaty boy runs toward him, he’s out of breath but he doesn’t stop running. This makes Kyungsoo feel 9 again when he watched Jongin run to him in his shorts and dirty tee. He remembers all the dirt on Jongin’s hair from falling on the field while playing soccer or the band aids on his knee from scraping it.
He’s different. So is Jongin. The one running to him is a male in his high school uniform, a bit crumpled but still okay. His legs are long and look really good in his pants. His hair was dyed soft cherry and his eyes turn to crescents from grinning too wide. Jongin is so different now, but Kyungsoo still can see him as the 8 year old who played soccer until it was time for them to go home.
“So when’s your match?” Kyungsoo asks as they make their way to the station.
“Hmm...” Jongin combs his bangs out of his face, and Kyungsoo’s lips twitch into a small smile. “After summer break! I’ll have to fight until the end of the year... just thinking about it makes me tired.”
“Liar,” Kyungsoo laughs, and Jongin has to grin at that. “You never complain about sports.”
“Yeah.”Jongin looks up to the sky where it’s all blue to all corners, his eyes are distant and Kyungsoo prefers looking at the sky that reflects in the younger’s eyes instead of the real one above. “I’m not going to sleep all day during summer break for the first time in my life.”
“Practice?”
“For over a month, yeah. We’re having a training camp because our team is small and we need to work harder.” Now it’s Kyungsoo who’s filling Jongin’s sight, the elder gives him an encouraging smile because he knows Jongin can do it. There’s regret in the brown of Jongin’s eyes, and his hand flies up to stroke Kyungsoo’s hair. “I’ll try to sneak out and go to the swimming pool with you. We’ll also definitely get that limited edition summer ice cream.”
Kyungsoo hears it as an indirect promise, but he knows how to keep himself from hoping too much. This is the first time they aren’t going to spend summer break together because Jongin’s schedule is packed with practice. He knows it must be hard for Jongin to keep hanging out with him despite all the friends he’s made in high school. Jongin is really kind at heart, and sometimes it makes Kyungsoo think that Jongin stays with him just to not make him feel bad.
“You know,” Kyungsoo starts, and he might regret this later, but continues anyway. “You can hang out with that Sehun instead. Aren’t you more comfortable with same-aged friends?”
Something like ‘well, you’re right’ is further from Jongin’s answer than he predicted. So he widens his eyes when Jongin pouts while staring at him. “What are you talking about?” he whines, and Kyungsoo has to bite down on his lip to suppress the laughter. Not every day he can see Jongin whining but this isn’t the right time to laugh at him. “You’re my favourite person to hang out with.”
Favourite person.
Kyungsoo’s lips stretch to something akin to a heart, he’s smiling so wide that Jongin can see his gums. The younger chuckles at him when he lowers his head bashfully, and he can’t help but putting his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo can’t stop his own smile, eyes crinkling and cheekbones rising though he tries to fight it. Jongin knows Kyungsoo only smiles like this when he means it, and he secretly likes it.
Kyungsoo elbows Jongin’s side. The younger fakes a groan, but he tightens his arm around Kyungsoo’s neck, playfully chokes him because he knows the elder will laugh it off. Two fingers find their way to pinch Kyungsoo’s cheek, but he’s quick to slap them away. They laugh together and Jongin can only think of the word ‘cute’ upon seeing Kyungsoo’s face. With the sudden urge to squish him, he pulls Kyungsoo closer and nuzzles his nose to Kyungsoo’s hair. The action gets Kyungsoo’s smile to falter a bit, but he puts it back on his face again when Jongin pulls away.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Hyung.” Jongin waves at Kyungsoo, and that’s when Kyungsoo realizes that they’re already in front of the station.
Things are okay just like this, Kyungsoo thinks as he waves back, eyes not leaving Jongin’s back until he disappears in the sea of people.
---
The envelope is pink, and Kyungsoo squints his eyes at it. The thin material is between his fingers, held right below his chest but the smell of some nose-prickling girl perfume still bites at his nose. Brows furrowed, he looks at the three girls in front of him.
“Give it to Jongin, please?” one of them pleads, apparently she’s trying to do some aegyo to make Kyungsoo melt a bit, but it just doesn’t work.
“Yeah, you’re like his closest friend!” adds another, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes almost immediately.
“Give this to Jongin yourself.” Kyungsoo hands the envelope back, but no hands come to take it and he has to strain himself from throwing it to the floor. “If you don’t like him enough to approach him, don’t think you stand a chance of even getting a date with him.”
This time, Kyungsoo grabs one of the girls’ hands and put the envelope on the spread out palm before turning on his heels. He doesn’t even get to take the second step because a forceful grab on his arm stops him.
“No need to be so rude! You just have to give this to him, that doesn’t even take five seconds!” the voice rings uncomfortably in his head, making him groan.
“Yeah, we put a lot of thought into that letter, giving it to Jongin is the least you can do to support us!”
“I haven’t even seen you guys in this school.” Kyungsoo hisses, making them flinches a bit at the change of tone. He knows he shouldn’t be rude to these girls, but he’s already infamous for his sharp tongue anyway. “Why should I support you, huh? Am I some kind of a match-maker or what? I think it’s easier to approach Jongin than me, why did you even bother to come to me?”
Silence seeps into the crevice of discomfort between them, and even though he doesn’t know much about girls, at least he knows that they’ll talk back to him. His tongue moves slightly in his mouth, as if readying itself for the words he hasn’t said. He eyes the girls with a somewhat vicious stare, and blinks when one of them takes a step forward.
“You’ve definitely never had a girlfriend before,” she says, and Kyungsoo’s shoulders sag. He expected a stronger comeback. The other two’s confidence boosts up to attack Kyungsoo and they lift their chins arrogantly.
“Yeah, you don’t have a heart!”
“She’s right, Jongin doesn’t deserve a bad friend like you!”
Kyungsoo snaps.
“Well excuse me?” he glares at them, voice dripping with warning.
Years ago, he would’ve been really scared, shoulders shaking and tears falling. But he’s had enough of being treated like he’s not worthy. There were times he felt the anger he’d been storing in his heart threatened to explode at once, so he decided to let it out little by little so it won’t destroy him. This is one of the chances he has to use.
“I’ve known Jongin before you knew he’s existed. You could give him a holiday trip to Europe right now and he’d decline it just because I ask him to have a Nintendo battle.”
The girls finally fall silent, and Kyungsoo mentally claps himself for winning this (stupid) little argument. However, the girl holding the envelope gives the pink thing to Kyungsoo again and the male sighs loudly in resignation.
“So demanding,” he clicks his tongue in annoyance, hand snatching the envelope. He turns on his heels and lifts the envelope a bit. Do Kyungsoo might be a man with a strong heart, but girls are just tiring. “No more next time.”
------
“You look like you’re in a bad mood,” Jongin teases when Kyungsoo appears at the field with his lips slightly frowned. Were it another person, they wouldn’t tell the difference with Kyungsoo’s daily bitch-face expression, but it’s Jongin. He’s been with Kyungsoo for such a long time that he can tell something’s wrong just by the way the elder’s eyebrows furrow a bit, or the way he squints too much.
“You know the freshmen who always make a fuss at the canteen? They broke the vending machine! When I wanted to buy a juice!” Kyungsoo flops himself at the bench, and Jongin laughs at him.
“So? Did you chase them away?”
“I would have, if I’d had the energy from the juice. Damn, those punks.”
Jongin sets his spikes into his bag and takes out his shoes. Kyungsoo takes a look into Jongin’s bag, sighs at how messy his things are and starts to reorganize them. The sight gets Jongin to smile, because if he looks back to several years ago, it was always him who took care of Kyungsoo. Looking at the older male and how he manages to handle himself well makes Jongin proud, but somehow lonely.
“Now that’s more like it, your bag looked bloated before. You need to learn how to pack things so you can have more space. See, you can even fit your helmet in here now!” Kyungsoo grumbles, and instead of answering, Jongin keeps on staring at him. It’s unusual for him to be like this, so Kyungsoo blinks in confusion. “What are you looking at?”
“Oh?” Jongin is snapped from his own thoughts, and immediately smiles. “Your face.”
“Is there something on my face?”
“My eyes.”
“What.”
“I have my eyes on your face.”
“Saying embarrassing things now, huh.”
Jongin laughs while standing up. He kicks the ground once to make sure he’s tied his shoes properly. Taking a look inside his bag, he smiles at Kyungsoo again. The elder is still sitting in his place on the bench, his back is never straight because it’s always slouchy. “I can’t pack, Hyung.”
“Then I’ll have to help you pack before you go to the training camp,” Kyungsoo suggests, and Jongin immediately agrees to the idea. He watches as the younger puts the rest of his things into his bag, now not bothering to arrange it because Kyungsoo’s made more space inside. He zips his bag all the way and pulls the strap onto his shoulder.
Summer break is in two weeks and he knows that’s the remaining time he has with Jongin. He’s watched how the football team struggles to keep their eyes open in class after hours of practice the day before, since Chanyeol has been in the same class as him. The team wasn’t this strong before the freshmen joined, but he’s watched when they had to stay on the field until the moon is high up in the sky. The Fall Games is the real deal, because winning the games means being the strongest team of all high schools in South Korea.
He knows that Jongin will be busier than ever, he’ll have less time for everything, be it his homework or him.
“Hyung?” Jongin calls, confusion in his tone. “Why are you so quiet?”
Kyungsoo starts his answer with a sigh. He is usually the one who starts the conversation between them. Jongin doesn’t like it when he has his lips shut. He decides to lie, though. “I borrowed too many books from the library. My bag feels heavy.”
“I told you to do some sports!” Jongin says between his laugh. “Sitting all day isn’t good for your body.”
“I know, I’ve been jogging every morning and evening every now and then.”
“Really? You should’ve told me! I can go to your house and jog with you.”
They barely reach the school’s gate when some voices call Jongin’s name. The called guy immediately turns around to find three girls, still in their uniforms, running to him with excited faces. Kyungsoo snorts, recognizing them as the same girls whom he met some days ago.
“Jongin-ah!” one of them calls, and Jongin smiles kindly at her. “Um... did you read our letter?”
The confusion in Jongin’s face doesn’t go unnoticed and those girls lose their smiles. Jongin’s trying to keep his face friendly. “What letter?”
Three pairs of eyes now direct themselves at Kyungsoo who’s focused on his phone because his brother just texted him, followed by Jongin’s gaze. He nonchalantly looks up at those girls, having no idea about the frowns they are showing to him. “What?”
“You said you were going to give the letter to Jongin!!” the one with short hair yells, and Kyungsoo’s mind flies to find what kind of business he’s had with these girls. Then it comes to him that they didn’t only meet him, but they also gave him a letter which he had to pass to Jongin.
“Ah, that letter,” Kyungsoo nods. “Sorry, I forgot.”
Jongin can feel the tension between them as the rage in the girls’ eyes starts to burn even more, so he moves closer to Kyungsoo, hand tugging on the sleeve. “Hyung, what’s this about?”
“Jongin-ah!” the tallest of the three shrieks and Jongin jumps in his place, hand unconsciously gripping Kyungsoo’s arm. This girl looks like she’s about to explode, her face is red up to her ears. “He’s supposed to hand you the letter we gave him!!”
“Oh... oh is that so?” Jongin looks at Kyungsoo who rolls his eyes. He can bet all the money he has in his account that Kyungsoo doesn’t know these girls, and he knows how Kyungsoo hates this kind of thing. “Well? You could’ve given the letter to me directly in the first place...”
Hearing this, Kyungsoo’s grin blooms and he looks at them in victory. The girls fall silent because Jongin clearly doesn’t really give a shit about them and will stand up for Kyungsoo even if they talk more, so they walk away, still pouting. Kyungsoo only watches as they disappear behind the gate, and turns his head to Jongin when the younger sighs.
“What?”
“You sure are one grumpy old man.” Jongin shakes his head as he continues walking, Kyungsoo following closely beside him, not replying. “Do you have the letter with you?”
“I don’t know. I totally forgot about it.”
“Hyung...” Jongin licks his lips nervously, and Kyungsoo knows Jongin’s preparing himself to say something. “You should’ve... given me the letter... I mean, we meet everyday... and I don’t know if I’d read the letter but at least then they won’t feel bad?”
“And I thought you stood up for me.”
“Well I did stand up for you! Just, you know? I feel-”
Kyungsoo is tired with his stuttering, and he doesn’t really like it that Jongin starts to think about other’s feeling when he’s around. The usual Jongin would put other people aside and have Kyungsoo as his top priority. They’re not children anymore, he’s also aware of that, but the thought of Jongin caring less about his feelings...
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Kyungsoo interrupts and Jongin is surprised. He starts to think that Jongin actually doesn’t want him to feel bad. “I’ll hand the letter to you when someone asks me to.”
“Don’t be mad, Hyung,” Jongin whines.
He rubs Kyungsoo’s cheek with the tip of his finger, but the elder doesn’t want to look at him. His eyes are distant, and Jongin knows he’s thinking negatively again. Kyungsoo may be a tough guy now, but his heart stays fragile. His insecurities still come as easily as they did when he cried into Jongin’s shoulder years ago. He’s been spending years convincing Kyungsoo that he’s not going anywhere, that when Kyungsoo needs someone, he’ll always be there for him. He’s not going to stop doing so.
“Hyung, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”
Jongin’s always persistent when it comes to comforting Kyungsoo, and that brings a little smile to the latter’s face. It’s not utterly sincere, Jongin can see, but at least Kyungsoo feels better now.
--
The three girls, who Kyungsoo learns to be Minah, Hyeri and Yura, are obnoxiously loud.
They always somehow find Jongin when Kyungsoo’s with him, only to ask Jongin unimportant questions and ignore Kyungsoo. There are times when Kyungsoo is about to go and leave Jongin with them, but then the younger’s fingers curl around his wrist behind his back, not wanting him to go. Sometimes the girls send him unpleasant glares, clearly not wanting him to be there. But the grip around his wrist is shaky and he knows even though Jongin’s a popular jock, he’s still a nervous kid inside. So Kyungsoo also holds Jongin’s wrist, giving it an encouraging squeeze.
It’s not a problem for them in the beginning, but it’s getting worse.
Not only in school or during practice, the girls start to tail Jongin when he’s walking to the station with Kyungsoo. He knows that Jongin is just trying to be kind, not that he’s okay with being surrounded by these noisy girls. Jongin could’ve gone home with the rest of the team, but they’re also loud. Especially Chanyeol who has endless jokes carved on the insides of his mouth. He’d end up being more tired if he went home with them.
He prefers walking home with Kyungsoo who always speaks slowly in a low tone. His laugh is also amazingly nice, not to mention Kyungsoo cares a lot about him. Kyungsoo soothes him in a way no one else could and his smile, albeit timid, is kind and pretty.
Jongin likes to be with Kyungsoo.
That’s why Jongin feels extremely tired from trying to respond to the questions the girls throw at him. Kyungsoo can see this, when Jongin looks at him sadly while entering the station. It’s unfortunate that the girls actually take the same train as him and that means he has to fake friendliness for more than 10 minutes. Sometimes Kyungsoo wants to go with Jongin, he really does, but he knows the younger would say no because he understands that Kyungsoo spends his time studying and cares a lot about his grades.
He knows that Jongin needs him, but when it marks the third day since the girls started tailing Jongin around, he decides that he can’t take it anymore. He stops coming to the field after Jongin’s done with practice, even after the younger keeps texting him, ‘hyung where are you?’ or, ‘why don’t you want to go home with me?’ And even though it hurts him that he has to ignore Jongin, he tucks his phone in his bag, not bothering to even look at it.
The calendar shows him that he only has a week until summer break, and as much as he wants to see Jongin, he doesn’t. He really doesn’t want to spend his time with Jongin with those girls around.
Kyungsoo studies in the library until late night to avoid meeting Jongin. He chooses the seat farthest from the window so he can’t see Jongin walking to the gate with those girls. He knows he misses Jongin so much, and the feeling of longing starts to rip through his heart. Soon, guilt joins too because he’s being unfair to Jongin, and he blames himself for not being able to express himself well.
What he doesn’t see coming is Jongin at the library’s doorway two days later, tee drenched in sweat and hair sticking to his forehead. He’s not even wearing his uniform, he looks like he just ran all the way here from the field since the library is on the third floor.
“Hyung,” he calls as he walks to Kyungsoo, a small smile of relief on his face. “So you’ve been here...”
“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows on purpose, trying to look like he’s irritated, but Jongin knows better. “Why aren’t you going home?”
The tired boy pulls a chair for himself, puts his bags on the floor and slumps into his seat. He doesn’t answer, instead he stares at the books in front of Kyungsoo and then at Kyungsoo. Without saying anything, he buries his face between his arms on the table. “Tell me when you’re done so we can go home together.”
Kyungsoo sighs as he adjusts his glasses and continues studying. But the presence of Kim Jongin beside him completely distracts him, and he lets himself get distracted. The words on his textbooks are all illegible all of a sudden, so he chooses to ignore them altogether. He shifts his gaze to Jongin whom he expected to be asleep, but he isn’t. The younger is staring at him with one eye, the darkness of his iris almost swallows him whole.
“How did you even know I was here?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice quiet. Jongin laughs a little and closes his eyes, enjoying his hyung’s voice. It’s the consolation he’s been longing for, the blanket that’s close to what he calls home, the only song that could lull him to a complete slumber. He missed Kyungsoo so much.
“You know what the teachers always say at the end of the class?” Jongin asks back, eyes still closed. “Students who aren’t in clubs have to study by themselves. Most of them choose to just go home, the rest stay in the class. I know you don’t like to be in the class, so I kind of figured. That you’d be here. In the library.”
The words slip right into the cracks of Kyungsoo’s heart, making him shudder. He forgot that Jongin is the one who understands him the most, the one who tells him not to cry even when the tears go unshed, the one who shows up in front of his door with a glass of bubble tea after he saw Kyungsoo’s unusual frown at school. He doesn’t even know if he deserves a friend like Jongin when he doesn’t do anything for Jongin in return.
“Did something happen?” Jongin questions, his eyes now opened again. His voice sounds sleepy and tired, but Kyungsoo still catches the sincere concern in his words. “You haven’t been coming to the field... is there something wrong?”
“I just didn’t feel like coming there with those girls around.”
Hearing the remarks, Jongin sits upright and stares at his hyung. He could’ve said something like, ‘so you left me alone to deal with them?’ or worse, ‘how could you be so selfish?’ but no. He’s not saying any of that. Being friends with Kyungsoo makes him learn to watch his mouth more, because he watched how Kyungsoo’d broke down just by mean words slapped violently to his face, and his title as ‘Kyungsoo’s bestfriend’ would be meaningless if he doesn’t make the older comfortable.
“Then don’t come,” Jongin says, hand stroking Kyungsoo’s hair. “I’ll come here after practice to shake them off. Just wait here, okay?”
“You can go home first, no need to wait for m-”
Jongin’s palm moves to Kyungsoo’s face, automatically silencing the older male. His pinky finger is on Kyungsoo’s lips, and Kyungsoo isn’t even sure if he has felt this sudden urge to kiss something so badly. He doesn’t know how to interpret what is hidden behind the kind smile on Jongin’s face.
“Don’t think too much, Hyung. You just have to sit here and wait for me.”
And that’s how things are reversed. It used to be Kyungsoo who walked from the library to the field to get Jongin, but now Jongin goes to library after practice’s done, sits with Kyungsoo until they call it a day. Sometimes he sleeps there, sometimes he takes his books out and studies with Kyungsoo, sometimes they just talk until the sky’s dark.
Kyungsoo is really glad they can spend time together just the two of them again. Even though there are several other people in the library and some girls who pass by still come to greet Jongin, at least they aren’t loud like the three annoying girls whom Kyungsoo doesn’t want to see anymore.
Now that he gets to see Jongin closer than usual, he often finds himself staring at the younger a bit longer than usual, too. He notices how the shape of Jongin’s mouth when he grins is still the same as the one he gave Kyungsoo the first time they met, or how the tone of his laugh reminds him of that day Jongin’s dogs jumped to him the first time Jongin brought them to meet Kyungsoo.
Both of them are happy with their condition they’re in, laughing at funny pictures Kyungsoo sees in his books or talking about the songs Jongin listened to recently. Jongin likes how easily he gets into conversations with Kyungsoo, they only have to randomly say one thing before they end up talking about it for the next 30 minutes.
It’s the last day of school before summer break and only Jongin and Kyungsoo are left in the library. The older is solving math problems and the younger is reading a novel Kyungsoo’s recommended to him. Suddenly there are people barging in the library and both of them look up to see who they are. Kyungsoo’s immediate reaction is to scoff while rolling his eyes, while Jongin’s is to shield Kyungsoo from whatever they’re trying to say.
“Jongin-ah you meanie!” Hyeri whines once she’s in front Jongin, stomping her legs childishly.
“So you’ve been coming here instead of waiting for us on the field! We were so worried you got sick!” Minah adds up, but she sounds relieved.
“Why are you with him again? I thought he’d left you! You don’t have to be friends with a selfish person like him!” Yura shoots and Jongin is quick to stand up, not wanting them to say worse things. He doesn’t mind them being loud, but not with them saying rude words to Kyungsoo. He doesn’t mind them being loud, but he’s not okay with them saying rude things to Kyungsoo.
“Please, this is the library. Keep your voice low,” Jongin asks slowly. “And we’re going home in a few minutes, you guys can leave too.”
“Jongin-ah you seriously have to stop being friends with that shrimp!” Yura points her manicured nail to Kyungsoo, making the oldest glare at her. Jongin hears Kyungsoo shift a bit impatiently in his seat, and he tries his best to make the atmosphere less tense.
“Girls, please stop-”
“Hey! Potter Oppa! Why did you make Jongin come all the way here??” Minah nearly screams and Kyungsoo can see the veins on her neck. Jongin doesn’t even have it in him to laugh at the nickname, and he really has no idea how to calm them down. “You should’ve gone home alone!”
Kyungsoo tries his best to not let the anger spill out the dam of patience he has in his heart, trying to turn a deaf ear to everything they’re saying. He can only rely on Jongin, because he knows the younger will stand up for him no matter what. “Minah-ya, I was the one who wanted to come here. Don’t blame him.”
“No need to let out dolphin noises, geez,” Kyungsoo grumbles finally. He lets his anger seep out his mouth little by little, not wanting to explode. “I didn’t come to the field because you guys have been pestering Jongin. I didn’t want to meet you, not Jongin.”
Jongin really didn’t expect Kyungsoo to speak aloud, because normally he doesn’t bother with people like them. He looks over his shoulder and shudders when he sees Kyungsoo glaring dangerously at the girls. Oh damn, this isn’t good, he thinks in worry. He tries to ask the girls to go because he really needs to calm Kyungsoo down before his insecurities start to squeeze his heart until it bursts, but what he doesn’t notice is the girls’ overwhelming rage at Kyungsoo.
Hyeri, who’s in charge of being the most annoying (this is what Kyungsoo thinks) ignores Jongin and slams her palm on the table hard. She’s challenging Kyungsoo and Jongin starts to assume that this girl has more courage than the mafias and bad guys in Korea combined. “You know what?? Jongin is tired and he needs rest, he shouldn’t be climbing three flights of stairs after hours of practice!! You’re draining him, don’t you know that?!”
That slaps Kyungsoo hard on his face. He almost forgot that Jongin has to practice everyday because summer break is approaching and the team doesn’t have much time until Fall Games start. Jongin is always so full of smiles that Kyungsoo never realized how tired Jongin actually was. They’re right, Jongin shouldn’t have come here in the first place. Guilt drains his anger and wavers the resolve he’s been trying to steady on his unstable heart.
Being the good friend he is, Jongin’s quick to know what Kyungsoo’s thinking and he really needs these girls to go. He puts a hand on Yura’s shoulder, eyes pleading. “Yura-ya, please, give us some space, I-”
Out of all people, Jongin totally doesn’t think that Kyungsoo would interrupt. But when he turns his head to the said male, Kyungsoo’s already standing, face isn’t as irritated anymore. “You know what? I’ll tell Jongin to stop coming here, I’ll come to the field instead. Happy?”
“Do you even know what you are to Jongin?” Minah sighs in heavy exasperation while Kyungsoo thinks he should be the one who’s doing that. “You’re a wall who prevents Jongin from reaching his dreams! Jongin should be focused on football and football only and not a person who clings to him because he has no friends!”
“Says the girl who follows Jongin around with her friends because she has a hopeless crush on him,” Kyungsoo shoots back and that silences Minah, making her presses her lips together because of the wrong step she’s just taken. It amazes Jongin that Kyungsoo can keep his voice still and confident in this kind of situation. “I told you, I’ve known Jongin before you knew him. I’ve known him since we were babies, who are you to come and try to part us?”
The girls fall silent at this, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at the sudden feel of déjà vu. Right now he’s almost utterly sure that he’d win all the arguments with these girls, if they ever came to him again in the future. Feeling defeated, Yura finally pulls Minah and Hyeri with her and exits the library.
Once they’re gone, Kyungsoo starts gathering his things and shoves them into his bag. Jongin approaches him and puts a hand on Kyungsoo’s neck, squeezing it lightly. The older looks at him, and Jongin can already see how shaky his feelings are just by looking at his eyes.
“You don’t have to think about what they said,” Jongin starts, voice coming out almost as a whisper.
“Did you even hear them, Jongin-ah?” Kyungsoo drops the things in his hands onto the table, but Jongin isn’t even surprised. “I told you from the start that you didn’t have to come here. I made you even more tired, didn’t I?”
“Did you even hear me?” Jongin holds both of Kyungsoo’s shoulders, grimacing at how small they are and how they can’t bear all the pain Kyungsoo has to hold by himself. “I was the one who wanted to come, I’d still come even if you told me not to.”
Jongin’s touch burns his skin, and what daunts Kyungsoo is he isn’t sure when the burn started. The skinship between them abates as they got older, but this isn’t how he should feel when Jongin touches him. He should feel more comfortable and secure, not feeling his skin growing hotter under Jongin’s hands.
“You just-you just don’t want me to feel bad,” Kyungsoo stutters as he opens his bag wide enough to put his books inside. The younger doesn’t give up there, he turns Kyungsoo to face him and pulls him into a hug. Kyungsoo’s too surprised to react, so he doesn’t hug Jongin back nor push him away. The memories inside his brain stir to remember the last time Jongin hugged him, but he’s too engulfed in the warmth of Jongin’s arms that he can’t recall anything.
“Please don’t think too much, Hyung. You know I came here because I want to be with you, and not them.” Jongin’s tone is near to pleading, he’s almost tired of this. He knows that both of them can’t keep on being like this, he can’t let Kyungsoo’s social circle only consists of him. He’s aware that Kyungsoo’s pretty close with his classmates, but when the bell rings and he steps out of the class, it ends. His legs will always lead him to Jongin because Jongin’s presence is what matters to him.
But as Jongin tightens his hug and Kyungsoo finally hugs him back, he knows that he doesn’t mind being the only one who gets to know Kyungsoo the most. Kyungsoo’s friends might make him laugh louder than Jongin does, but it’s Jongin who pulls Kyungsoo’s lips into a heart when he’s down. It’s Jongin who chooses the color when Kyungsoo wants to redye his hair.
He wants them to be together as long as possible, even if Jongin’s dead tired from practice or Kyungsoo can’t keep his eyes open after an all-nighter.
Jongin raises his eyebrows, realizing it’s what he’s promised to Kyungsoo years ago.
( part 2 )
❊ title: my whole universe (is you)
❊ pairings: kai/d.o
❊ rating: pg13
❊ word count: 27,304
❊ summary: Kyungsoo knows that life isn't going to be easy for him.
❊ a/n: I'm so sorry because this doesn't really match with your prompt and ended up a bit too long, I can only hope you don't fall asleep while reading this orz but thank you for the prompt, it's not ///that/// difficult to write hahaha and also thank you for the mods for the extension(s).... sorry for being slow u___u last but not least, my beautiful, beautiful beta!! You've worked really hard for my fics sorry for troubling you so much, thank you and I love you!
People say that happiness is being able to see the good in everything. They say it’s about being thankful and living life while smiling to everyone, because waking up in the morning is a blessing. Happiness is something inside that we bring out and not the other way around. We need to do things that make us happy and spend time with people we love to make the best of everything we have.
Those kinds of words have been edited on beautiful pictures of sceneries, seen as cliché quotes that don’t impact people’s lives that much. Yet Kyungsoo hangs on them, gripping rather harshly only to get on his feet and stand without falling again. He wants to believe in them. He wants his life to be beautiful,he wants to smile all day without too many worries stacked on his shoulders, but he can’t.
Not when he’s being pushed into a locker that’s too small for him to fit in, even when his body is nearly folded in half. But the bigger boys around him keep on forcing the door closed, making Kyungsoo writhe in pain.
“P-please stop... it hurts...” Kyungsoo begs, eyes stinging from too much crying, and he sobs because the warmth from his tears can’t soothe him. What’s the good in this? How can he be thankful in a situation like this?
“Oooh, he’s begging!” one of the boys mocks as he slams the door and laughs when the cold surface hits Kyungsoo’s legs hard.
It takes another 15 minutes of abusing and laughing until they go because they’re bored, and all that’s left is Kyungsoo and his pitiful cries. He wants to walk and go home, but his legs and feet feel numb because they were folded for too long and he needs some time until he can feel them again.
How can he spend his time with the people he loves when it’s wasted being abused here and there? He doesn’t have the time to do what makes him happy because he is not happy. He’s bullied and pushed around, people make fun of him and look down on him. He’s always in the top 5 in the class but no one congratulates him or feels happy for him. His parents don’t care because all they do is fight and his older brother is an asshole who doesn’t even bother coming home unless everyone is asleep.
He hates his life.
As he makes his way to the gate with trembling legs, he notices an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach and realizes he didn’t eat lunch today. Even though his mother still pays for his lunch, his card to enter the canteen had been taken away by the bullies and he couldn’t do anything about that.
He stops in his tracks when a ball rolls to his feet and stops there. There are voices who tell him to kick the ball back to the students who are still playing, but Kyungsoo doesn’t do anything. He only turns his head when a kid who’s slightly taller than him starts running in his direction.
“Kyungsoo Hyung!” the kid calls with a wide grin, but Kyungsoo doesn’t even smile back. He’s too tired to respond. When the kid is close enough, he gasps at the bruises on Kyungsoo’s arms and he quickly examines them carefully. “Hyung, what’s wrong? Did they beat you again? Why didn’t you call me? You should’ve called me!”
This time, Kyungsoo finally smiles at the kid’s whine, feeling a bit warm because of the sweet affection. The smile on Kyungsoo’s face makes the kid less worried, but that doesn’t change the bruises on the older boy’s arms so the kid bends down to take the ball.
“I’ll walk you home, Hyung. Wait here!”
The kid walks away and he tells his friend that he’s going home first before getting back to Kyungsoo. The width of his smile is still the same, and Kyungsoo feels like all the warmth from the sun is there, shining rays at him. He’s beautiful, Kyungsoo thinks, feeling so grateful at how sincere the kid smiles at him.
“Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo calls, amused at how calm it is to be beside him.
“Yeah?” Jongin smiles wider, but Kyungsoo shakes his head and starts walking, the younger boy following after him. The walk is silent, but it’s the accidental brushes of their hands that bring a mist of comfort to Kyungsoo’s heart and he knows that there’s nothing to worry about. At least right now.
Jongin and Kyungsoo are neighbours, and have been since they were born. When they were old enough to play outside their parents introduced them to each other, and they have been best friends ever since, holding hands to school and racing to go home after playing in the park. Jongin is more into physical activities like sports while Kyungsoo is a bookworm who locks himself in his room until the younger calls him to play outside. Despite the differences they have, they get along really well and they’re inseparable.
Things changed in elementary school because Kyungsoo doesn’t like to fight and stays quiet when someone throws a crumpled paper to his head. Suddenly he was subject to bullying and the distance between him and his friends increased until he had no friends. Things changed again when Jongin found out the situation Kyungsoo was in, because he stood up for his hyung. But the bullies didn’t back away. They still don’t, and still trying to get entertainment out of bullying Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo always tries to convince himself that he’s okay despite being only nine years old with all the cuts and bruises on his body. He always tells himself that, ‘I’ll get used to it,’ or, ‘it’s not as painful as the first time he punched me,’ but he knows that those are just sweet nothings he whispers to soothe the wounds on his skin.
They arrive in front of Kyungsoo’s house, but just as Kyungsoo holds the gate a shrill voice pierces through his ears and he stops, knowing that his parents are fighting. Jongin hears it too, the hair on his nape stands as a scream makes it way to the front door and there’s a loud crash from inside. He can’t let Kyungsoo enters his house in that kind of condition so he takes Kyungsoo’s hand in his, pulling slightly.
“Hyung,” he calls, trying to layer his tone with something sweet and warm. “Let’s go to my house, I’ll ask noona to take care of your wound! And mom bought me ice cream yesterday! I want to eat it with you!”
It’s these kind of moments where Kyungsoo lets himself get dragged into Jongin’s house, greets his sisters and only smiles when they ask him what’s with the bruises on his arm. Jongin’s noonas are just as kind as their brother, smiles radiating with warmth and touches gentle. The eldest sister takes care of Kyungsoo while the younger one takes out the ice cream for both boys, and Kyungsoo still thinks that the thank yous he’s said to them aren’t enough.
He only comes back home after Jongin’s mom succeeded in shoving dinner down his throat and he’s sure that the fight between his parents has come to an end.
--
As the sun rays seep through the thin of his curtain, Kyungsoo isn’t sure if this is what they call a blessing when he wakes up to the rough voice of his dad complaining to his mom about breakfast. He ignores the sound of his dad smashing a glass and the furious shrieks from his mom in return. It’s tiring him that they keep on hating each other without getting bored of it.
The toasts are swallowed down with a gloomy face, and Kyungsoo knows he feels full more because of his parents’ terrifying voices than because of his breakfast. His brother only stops at the dining table to quickly munch on his breakfast before speeding to school. Kyungsoo knows he’s too small to handle the fighting couple so he runs after his brother, seeking safety.
Seungsoo might be a quiet brother and it seems like he doesn’t care, but at least he lets Kyungsoo walk with him and the younger brother is thankful for that.
“I’m moving out of that house when I finish junior high,” Seungsoo says suddenly, the remark gets Kyungsoo to widen his eyes. “I’m going to a school in town and I’ll live with a friend.”
“B-but what about me?”Kyungsoo asks, eyes start getting teary. Even though he doesn’t really talk with his brother, the presence of the older boy gives him a sense of comfort, something like, ‘I’m not the only one who’s tired of this.’ If Seungsoo goes, he’ll be alone in the house and he doesn’t know how to bear with his parents.
“You should move out too, Kyungsoo,” he says between gritted teeth, voice already laced with fury. “They don’t know how to keep quiet for shit, and I’m only staying because I’m too young to live alone or to apply for a job.”
3 years is not a big gap, but Seungsoo’s legs are a lot longer than Kyungsoo’s since the younger brother is smaller than kids his age, so in seconds, Seungsoo takes long, quick strides and leaves Kyungsoo alone. Deep down inside, Kyungsoo knows his brother cares about him, but not enough to actually hold his hand and guide him to a better side of life.
School is never fun, so Kyungsoo doesn’t bother to walk in with a smile. Sooner or later, the bullies will come and grip his hair viciously, leaving Kyungsoo tired and humiliated. He never misses the glances from his classmates-the pity and fear in their eyes. Kyungsoo sees it all. The image is already making his body shake in horror, so he buries his face between his arms in case anyone would see him crying, but he knows that no one actually cares about him.
He’s wrong, though, because the bullies don’t come to get him until lunch time and he doesn’t know why because most of them are from different classes. The class is almost empty but Kyungsoo stays in his seat because he can’t enter the canteen to grab lunch. He almost jumps when a card is thrown onto his table, his name on it. As he looks up, it’s Jongin, arms folded and shorts dirty.
“That’s your card! Let’s get lunch together!” Jongin announces suddenly before pulling Kyungsoo’s hand.
“Did you... did you take this from them?” Kyungsoo asks in awe, fingers shaking as he holds his lunch card. It’s been a while since he’s seen it.
“Yeah! I beat them on the face!” Jongin punches his fist to his other palm, face looking angry but it doesn’t hide the innocence in his eyes. “You’re having lunch with me from now on! That way they won’t approach you again!”
That makes Kyungsoo blink in confusion, but he smiles anyway. Without saying anything, he lets Jongin pull his hand and they walk together to the canteen. It’s the first time Kyungsoo feels at peace without the scary images of the bigger boys kicking him dangling behind his eyelids. Jongin usually doesn’t spend this much time with him because he’s a cheerful kid who has friends tailing behind him every day, but today, he’s exclusively for Kyungsoo. He talks a lot and always tries to make Kyungsoo laugh, every curve of Kyungsoo’s lips brings happiness for him.
Because that way, he knows that at least Kyungsoo feels better than he did yesterday.
Days continue like that with Jongin and his smile beside Kyungsoo, and even though the bullies sometimes still come to beat Kyungsoo up, Jongin is quick to come and kick them away. Jongin learns to wake up thirty minutes earlier so he can go to school with Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo will sit on the side of the field while Jongin plays soccer so they can go home together.
They spend most of their time in Jongin’s house, playing Playstation or taking Jongin’s puppies to the park for a walk. Jongin’s family understands the situation of Kyungsoo’s family, so they let Kyungsoo stay in their house as long as he wants. Dinners are eaten together, laughs are shared, and Jongin’s bed is always where they talk together until they fall asleep.
Kyungsoo realizes that maybe this is the good he can see in his life. It’s happiness that he feels when Jongin comes to him, it’s a blessing that he wakes up to the sound of Jongin knocking on his door early in the morning. Sure, Kyungsoo is still punched on his stomach once or twice because Jongin has his own social circle and he can’t protect Kyungsoo 24/7. But Kyungsoo is content with that, because at the end of the day, Jongin will be with him.
It’s one overcast night when both boys are sitting on Jongin’s bed, telling their own stories. Kyungsoo tells Jongin that he’s tired, that he doesn’t want to meet the bullies again, that he’s scared. It’s not the first time Kyungsoo’s told Jongin about this, but the pain seems to grow in every new story. The pain may be thin and laces the corners of Kyungsoo’s voice, but it rips through Jongin’s heart and he can’t take it anymore.
The older boy cries into his hands, sobs muffled but they still fill the silence of Jongin’s room. Jongin takes one of his hands and laces their fingers together.
“Hyung,” he whispers, and Kyungsoo is surprised because Jongin’s voice is just as scared as his. “Let’s be... together forever. I-I can’t be beside you all day, but...”
Jongin holds Kyungsoo’s hand tighter, and Kyungsoo notices the subtle tremor in his tanned hand. He looks up and their eyes meet, but Jongin casts his gaze to their connected hands again.
“I promise that... I’ll always protect you, Hyung.”
The promise that Jongin’s just made keeps on resonating in his head and Kyungsoo starts to tear up again. He bites his lip, because the words of that promise fill the cold gaps between their linking fingers. Without letting go of Jongin’s hand, he hugs his best friend, buries his face in Jongin’s shoulder and clutches the back of his shirt.
“Thank you, Jongin-ah,” he murmurs quietly. “Thank you.”
--
It's hot where Kyungsoo is standing, and he doesn't know if he can stand it any longer. He normally doesn't sweat much, and that's why he feels so uncomfortable with the wet tips of his bangs sticking to his forehead. He normally doesn't blink much too, but he needs to blink more right now because his eyes are drying faster in this heat.
The girls around him scream again, making him hiss in annoyance. They're noisy, and he's trying hard not to slap them on the face, especially the ones standing closest to him. He focuses on the field instead where a group of boys are playing touch foot; a safer way to play football where the tackle is excluded because they were too lazy to wear uniforms.
A player meets Kyungsoo's gaze and a wide grin rises almost immediately upon seeing Kyungsoo is still there.
Let's go home!, Kyungsoo mouths to him, and the player frowns at him. One of Kyungsoo's brows arches under his bangs when the player turns around to talk to another player but he's quick to turn around again.
With a toothy grin, he lifts two fingers and Kyungsoo easily interprets is as, two minutes left. Kyungsoo adjusts the strap of his bag on his shoulder as the player mouths at him, gate, and he leaves.
The life of Do Kyungsoo is so different now that he's a lot older. He's grown up to be a grumpy male that's no longer bullied, but instead shoots death glares at people. He normally looks nerdy with his round glasses and short haircut, but his expression is scary and people actually run away from him when he's mad.
He's still inactive as ever. There's no club that pulls his interest, so he spends time in the library, studying. He doesn't really have a friend his year that he's close to, but his friends rely on him a lot when it comes to studying and he's glad to help them. Most of the times, he prefers to be alone, but he doesn't reject when his friends tell him to join them to hang out on weekends. It's safe to say that his socializing skills have gotten better these past years.
He doesn't live in his parents' house anymore, either. His brother had been encouraging him to move out and he did when he entered high school. His old house was emptied and his parents moved to Gyeonggi where they originally came from. The studio apartment he's living in is small and he has to limit the usage of utilities to press the bills, but at least he doesn't have to deal with endless screaming from his parents 24/7.
One thing that doesn't change, though, is his relationship with Jongin. Even though they aren't neighbors anymore, they still go to school and go home together.
Jongin is a part of their school's football team. He's the running back during offense and the linebacker during defense. Ever since he joined the team, he's been attracting almost half of the school's population and made the team so popular. More than that, since he's naturally athletic, he's close to snatching the title of Ace that's currently in the hands of Park Chanyeol, the receiver.
It saddens him sometimes that he can’t be with Jongin as often, but the younger’s text of ‘wait for me at the gate at 4!’ never fails to make him smile. It’s also common for him to go to the field and wait until Jongin’s practice is over so they can walk to the station together.
Kyungsoo stands there, near the gate and busies himself with his phone. It’s not long after that a sweaty boy runs toward him, he’s out of breath but he doesn’t stop running. This makes Kyungsoo feel 9 again when he watched Jongin run to him in his shorts and dirty tee. He remembers all the dirt on Jongin’s hair from falling on the field while playing soccer or the band aids on his knee from scraping it.
He’s different. So is Jongin. The one running to him is a male in his high school uniform, a bit crumpled but still okay. His legs are long and look really good in his pants. His hair was dyed soft cherry and his eyes turn to crescents from grinning too wide. Jongin is so different now, but Kyungsoo still can see him as the 8 year old who played soccer until it was time for them to go home.
“So when’s your match?” Kyungsoo asks as they make their way to the station.
“Hmm...” Jongin combs his bangs out of his face, and Kyungsoo’s lips twitch into a small smile. “After summer break! I’ll have to fight until the end of the year... just thinking about it makes me tired.”
“Liar,” Kyungsoo laughs, and Jongin has to grin at that. “You never complain about sports.”
“Yeah.”Jongin looks up to the sky where it’s all blue to all corners, his eyes are distant and Kyungsoo prefers looking at the sky that reflects in the younger’s eyes instead of the real one above. “I’m not going to sleep all day during summer break for the first time in my life.”
“Practice?”
“For over a month, yeah. We’re having a training camp because our team is small and we need to work harder.” Now it’s Kyungsoo who’s filling Jongin’s sight, the elder gives him an encouraging smile because he knows Jongin can do it. There’s regret in the brown of Jongin’s eyes, and his hand flies up to stroke Kyungsoo’s hair. “I’ll try to sneak out and go to the swimming pool with you. We’ll also definitely get that limited edition summer ice cream.”
Kyungsoo hears it as an indirect promise, but he knows how to keep himself from hoping too much. This is the first time they aren’t going to spend summer break together because Jongin’s schedule is packed with practice. He knows it must be hard for Jongin to keep hanging out with him despite all the friends he’s made in high school. Jongin is really kind at heart, and sometimes it makes Kyungsoo think that Jongin stays with him just to not make him feel bad.
“You know,” Kyungsoo starts, and he might regret this later, but continues anyway. “You can hang out with that Sehun instead. Aren’t you more comfortable with same-aged friends?”
Something like ‘well, you’re right’ is further from Jongin’s answer than he predicted. So he widens his eyes when Jongin pouts while staring at him. “What are you talking about?” he whines, and Kyungsoo has to bite down on his lip to suppress the laughter. Not every day he can see Jongin whining but this isn’t the right time to laugh at him. “You’re my favourite person to hang out with.”
Favourite person.
Kyungsoo’s lips stretch to something akin to a heart, he’s smiling so wide that Jongin can see his gums. The younger chuckles at him when he lowers his head bashfully, and he can’t help but putting his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo can’t stop his own smile, eyes crinkling and cheekbones rising though he tries to fight it. Jongin knows Kyungsoo only smiles like this when he means it, and he secretly likes it.
Kyungsoo elbows Jongin’s side. The younger fakes a groan, but he tightens his arm around Kyungsoo’s neck, playfully chokes him because he knows the elder will laugh it off. Two fingers find their way to pinch Kyungsoo’s cheek, but he’s quick to slap them away. They laugh together and Jongin can only think of the word ‘cute’ upon seeing Kyungsoo’s face. With the sudden urge to squish him, he pulls Kyungsoo closer and nuzzles his nose to Kyungsoo’s hair. The action gets Kyungsoo’s smile to falter a bit, but he puts it back on his face again when Jongin pulls away.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Hyung.” Jongin waves at Kyungsoo, and that’s when Kyungsoo realizes that they’re already in front of the station.
Things are okay just like this, Kyungsoo thinks as he waves back, eyes not leaving Jongin’s back until he disappears in the sea of people.
---
The envelope is pink, and Kyungsoo squints his eyes at it. The thin material is between his fingers, held right below his chest but the smell of some nose-prickling girl perfume still bites at his nose. Brows furrowed, he looks at the three girls in front of him.
“Give it to Jongin, please?” one of them pleads, apparently she’s trying to do some aegyo to make Kyungsoo melt a bit, but it just doesn’t work.
“Yeah, you’re like his closest friend!” adds another, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes almost immediately.
“Give this to Jongin yourself.” Kyungsoo hands the envelope back, but no hands come to take it and he has to strain himself from throwing it to the floor. “If you don’t like him enough to approach him, don’t think you stand a chance of even getting a date with him.”
This time, Kyungsoo grabs one of the girls’ hands and put the envelope on the spread out palm before turning on his heels. He doesn’t even get to take the second step because a forceful grab on his arm stops him.
“No need to be so rude! You just have to give this to him, that doesn’t even take five seconds!” the voice rings uncomfortably in his head, making him groan.
“Yeah, we put a lot of thought into that letter, giving it to Jongin is the least you can do to support us!”
“I haven’t even seen you guys in this school.” Kyungsoo hisses, making them flinches a bit at the change of tone. He knows he shouldn’t be rude to these girls, but he’s already infamous for his sharp tongue anyway. “Why should I support you, huh? Am I some kind of a match-maker or what? I think it’s easier to approach Jongin than me, why did you even bother to come to me?”
Silence seeps into the crevice of discomfort between them, and even though he doesn’t know much about girls, at least he knows that they’ll talk back to him. His tongue moves slightly in his mouth, as if readying itself for the words he hasn’t said. He eyes the girls with a somewhat vicious stare, and blinks when one of them takes a step forward.
“You’ve definitely never had a girlfriend before,” she says, and Kyungsoo’s shoulders sag. He expected a stronger comeback. The other two’s confidence boosts up to attack Kyungsoo and they lift their chins arrogantly.
“Yeah, you don’t have a heart!”
“She’s right, Jongin doesn’t deserve a bad friend like you!”
Kyungsoo snaps.
“Well excuse me?” he glares at them, voice dripping with warning.
Years ago, he would’ve been really scared, shoulders shaking and tears falling. But he’s had enough of being treated like he’s not worthy. There were times he felt the anger he’d been storing in his heart threatened to explode at once, so he decided to let it out little by little so it won’t destroy him. This is one of the chances he has to use.
“I’ve known Jongin before you knew he’s existed. You could give him a holiday trip to Europe right now and he’d decline it just because I ask him to have a Nintendo battle.”
The girls finally fall silent, and Kyungsoo mentally claps himself for winning this (stupid) little argument. However, the girl holding the envelope gives the pink thing to Kyungsoo again and the male sighs loudly in resignation.
“So demanding,” he clicks his tongue in annoyance, hand snatching the envelope. He turns on his heels and lifts the envelope a bit. Do Kyungsoo might be a man with a strong heart, but girls are just tiring. “No more next time.”
------
“You look like you’re in a bad mood,” Jongin teases when Kyungsoo appears at the field with his lips slightly frowned. Were it another person, they wouldn’t tell the difference with Kyungsoo’s daily bitch-face expression, but it’s Jongin. He’s been with Kyungsoo for such a long time that he can tell something’s wrong just by the way the elder’s eyebrows furrow a bit, or the way he squints too much.
“You know the freshmen who always make a fuss at the canteen? They broke the vending machine! When I wanted to buy a juice!” Kyungsoo flops himself at the bench, and Jongin laughs at him.
“So? Did you chase them away?”
“I would have, if I’d had the energy from the juice. Damn, those punks.”
Jongin sets his spikes into his bag and takes out his shoes. Kyungsoo takes a look into Jongin’s bag, sighs at how messy his things are and starts to reorganize them. The sight gets Jongin to smile, because if he looks back to several years ago, it was always him who took care of Kyungsoo. Looking at the older male and how he manages to handle himself well makes Jongin proud, but somehow lonely.
“Now that’s more like it, your bag looked bloated before. You need to learn how to pack things so you can have more space. See, you can even fit your helmet in here now!” Kyungsoo grumbles, and instead of answering, Jongin keeps on staring at him. It’s unusual for him to be like this, so Kyungsoo blinks in confusion. “What are you looking at?”
“Oh?” Jongin is snapped from his own thoughts, and immediately smiles. “Your face.”
“Is there something on my face?”
“My eyes.”
“What.”
“I have my eyes on your face.”
“Saying embarrassing things now, huh.”
Jongin laughs while standing up. He kicks the ground once to make sure he’s tied his shoes properly. Taking a look inside his bag, he smiles at Kyungsoo again. The elder is still sitting in his place on the bench, his back is never straight because it’s always slouchy. “I can’t pack, Hyung.”
“Then I’ll have to help you pack before you go to the training camp,” Kyungsoo suggests, and Jongin immediately agrees to the idea. He watches as the younger puts the rest of his things into his bag, now not bothering to arrange it because Kyungsoo’s made more space inside. He zips his bag all the way and pulls the strap onto his shoulder.
Summer break is in two weeks and he knows that’s the remaining time he has with Jongin. He’s watched how the football team struggles to keep their eyes open in class after hours of practice the day before, since Chanyeol has been in the same class as him. The team wasn’t this strong before the freshmen joined, but he’s watched when they had to stay on the field until the moon is high up in the sky. The Fall Games is the real deal, because winning the games means being the strongest team of all high schools in South Korea.
He knows that Jongin will be busier than ever, he’ll have less time for everything, be it his homework or him.
“Hyung?” Jongin calls, confusion in his tone. “Why are you so quiet?”
Kyungsoo starts his answer with a sigh. He is usually the one who starts the conversation between them. Jongin doesn’t like it when he has his lips shut. He decides to lie, though. “I borrowed too many books from the library. My bag feels heavy.”
“I told you to do some sports!” Jongin says between his laugh. “Sitting all day isn’t good for your body.”
“I know, I’ve been jogging every morning and evening every now and then.”
“Really? You should’ve told me! I can go to your house and jog with you.”
They barely reach the school’s gate when some voices call Jongin’s name. The called guy immediately turns around to find three girls, still in their uniforms, running to him with excited faces. Kyungsoo snorts, recognizing them as the same girls whom he met some days ago.
“Jongin-ah!” one of them calls, and Jongin smiles kindly at her. “Um... did you read our letter?”
The confusion in Jongin’s face doesn’t go unnoticed and those girls lose their smiles. Jongin’s trying to keep his face friendly. “What letter?”
Three pairs of eyes now direct themselves at Kyungsoo who’s focused on his phone because his brother just texted him, followed by Jongin’s gaze. He nonchalantly looks up at those girls, having no idea about the frowns they are showing to him. “What?”
“You said you were going to give the letter to Jongin!!” the one with short hair yells, and Kyungsoo’s mind flies to find what kind of business he’s had with these girls. Then it comes to him that they didn’t only meet him, but they also gave him a letter which he had to pass to Jongin.
“Ah, that letter,” Kyungsoo nods. “Sorry, I forgot.”
Jongin can feel the tension between them as the rage in the girls’ eyes starts to burn even more, so he moves closer to Kyungsoo, hand tugging on the sleeve. “Hyung, what’s this about?”
“Jongin-ah!” the tallest of the three shrieks and Jongin jumps in his place, hand unconsciously gripping Kyungsoo’s arm. This girl looks like she’s about to explode, her face is red up to her ears. “He’s supposed to hand you the letter we gave him!!”
“Oh... oh is that so?” Jongin looks at Kyungsoo who rolls his eyes. He can bet all the money he has in his account that Kyungsoo doesn’t know these girls, and he knows how Kyungsoo hates this kind of thing. “Well? You could’ve given the letter to me directly in the first place...”
Hearing this, Kyungsoo’s grin blooms and he looks at them in victory. The girls fall silent because Jongin clearly doesn’t really give a shit about them and will stand up for Kyungsoo even if they talk more, so they walk away, still pouting. Kyungsoo only watches as they disappear behind the gate, and turns his head to Jongin when the younger sighs.
“What?”
“You sure are one grumpy old man.” Jongin shakes his head as he continues walking, Kyungsoo following closely beside him, not replying. “Do you have the letter with you?”
“I don’t know. I totally forgot about it.”
“Hyung...” Jongin licks his lips nervously, and Kyungsoo knows Jongin’s preparing himself to say something. “You should’ve... given me the letter... I mean, we meet everyday... and I don’t know if I’d read the letter but at least then they won’t feel bad?”
“And I thought you stood up for me.”
“Well I did stand up for you! Just, you know? I feel-”
Kyungsoo is tired with his stuttering, and he doesn’t really like it that Jongin starts to think about other’s feeling when he’s around. The usual Jongin would put other people aside and have Kyungsoo as his top priority. They’re not children anymore, he’s also aware of that, but the thought of Jongin caring less about his feelings...
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Kyungsoo interrupts and Jongin is surprised. He starts to think that Jongin actually doesn’t want him to feel bad. “I’ll hand the letter to you when someone asks me to.”
“Don’t be mad, Hyung,” Jongin whines.
He rubs Kyungsoo’s cheek with the tip of his finger, but the elder doesn’t want to look at him. His eyes are distant, and Jongin knows he’s thinking negatively again. Kyungsoo may be a tough guy now, but his heart stays fragile. His insecurities still come as easily as they did when he cried into Jongin’s shoulder years ago. He’s been spending years convincing Kyungsoo that he’s not going anywhere, that when Kyungsoo needs someone, he’ll always be there for him. He’s not going to stop doing so.
“Hyung, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”
Jongin’s always persistent when it comes to comforting Kyungsoo, and that brings a little smile to the latter’s face. It’s not utterly sincere, Jongin can see, but at least Kyungsoo feels better now.
--
The three girls, who Kyungsoo learns to be Minah, Hyeri and Yura, are obnoxiously loud.
They always somehow find Jongin when Kyungsoo’s with him, only to ask Jongin unimportant questions and ignore Kyungsoo. There are times when Kyungsoo is about to go and leave Jongin with them, but then the younger’s fingers curl around his wrist behind his back, not wanting him to go. Sometimes the girls send him unpleasant glares, clearly not wanting him to be there. But the grip around his wrist is shaky and he knows even though Jongin’s a popular jock, he’s still a nervous kid inside. So Kyungsoo also holds Jongin’s wrist, giving it an encouraging squeeze.
It’s not a problem for them in the beginning, but it’s getting worse.
Not only in school or during practice, the girls start to tail Jongin when he’s walking to the station with Kyungsoo. He knows that Jongin is just trying to be kind, not that he’s okay with being surrounded by these noisy girls. Jongin could’ve gone home with the rest of the team, but they’re also loud. Especially Chanyeol who has endless jokes carved on the insides of his mouth. He’d end up being more tired if he went home with them.
He prefers walking home with Kyungsoo who always speaks slowly in a low tone. His laugh is also amazingly nice, not to mention Kyungsoo cares a lot about him. Kyungsoo soothes him in a way no one else could and his smile, albeit timid, is kind and pretty.
Jongin likes to be with Kyungsoo.
That’s why Jongin feels extremely tired from trying to respond to the questions the girls throw at him. Kyungsoo can see this, when Jongin looks at him sadly while entering the station. It’s unfortunate that the girls actually take the same train as him and that means he has to fake friendliness for more than 10 minutes. Sometimes Kyungsoo wants to go with Jongin, he really does, but he knows the younger would say no because he understands that Kyungsoo spends his time studying and cares a lot about his grades.
He knows that Jongin needs him, but when it marks the third day since the girls started tailing Jongin around, he decides that he can’t take it anymore. He stops coming to the field after Jongin’s done with practice, even after the younger keeps texting him, ‘hyung where are you?’ or, ‘why don’t you want to go home with me?’ And even though it hurts him that he has to ignore Jongin, he tucks his phone in his bag, not bothering to even look at it.
The calendar shows him that he only has a week until summer break, and as much as he wants to see Jongin, he doesn’t. He really doesn’t want to spend his time with Jongin with those girls around.
Kyungsoo studies in the library until late night to avoid meeting Jongin. He chooses the seat farthest from the window so he can’t see Jongin walking to the gate with those girls. He knows he misses Jongin so much, and the feeling of longing starts to rip through his heart. Soon, guilt joins too because he’s being unfair to Jongin, and he blames himself for not being able to express himself well.
What he doesn’t see coming is Jongin at the library’s doorway two days later, tee drenched in sweat and hair sticking to his forehead. He’s not even wearing his uniform, he looks like he just ran all the way here from the field since the library is on the third floor.
“Hyung,” he calls as he walks to Kyungsoo, a small smile of relief on his face. “So you’ve been here...”
“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows on purpose, trying to look like he’s irritated, but Jongin knows better. “Why aren’t you going home?”
The tired boy pulls a chair for himself, puts his bags on the floor and slumps into his seat. He doesn’t answer, instead he stares at the books in front of Kyungsoo and then at Kyungsoo. Without saying anything, he buries his face between his arms on the table. “Tell me when you’re done so we can go home together.”
Kyungsoo sighs as he adjusts his glasses and continues studying. But the presence of Kim Jongin beside him completely distracts him, and he lets himself get distracted. The words on his textbooks are all illegible all of a sudden, so he chooses to ignore them altogether. He shifts his gaze to Jongin whom he expected to be asleep, but he isn’t. The younger is staring at him with one eye, the darkness of his iris almost swallows him whole.
“How did you even know I was here?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice quiet. Jongin laughs a little and closes his eyes, enjoying his hyung’s voice. It’s the consolation he’s been longing for, the blanket that’s close to what he calls home, the only song that could lull him to a complete slumber. He missed Kyungsoo so much.
“You know what the teachers always say at the end of the class?” Jongin asks back, eyes still closed. “Students who aren’t in clubs have to study by themselves. Most of them choose to just go home, the rest stay in the class. I know you don’t like to be in the class, so I kind of figured. That you’d be here. In the library.”
The words slip right into the cracks of Kyungsoo’s heart, making him shudder. He forgot that Jongin is the one who understands him the most, the one who tells him not to cry even when the tears go unshed, the one who shows up in front of his door with a glass of bubble tea after he saw Kyungsoo’s unusual frown at school. He doesn’t even know if he deserves a friend like Jongin when he doesn’t do anything for Jongin in return.
“Did something happen?” Jongin questions, his eyes now opened again. His voice sounds sleepy and tired, but Kyungsoo still catches the sincere concern in his words. “You haven’t been coming to the field... is there something wrong?”
“I just didn’t feel like coming there with those girls around.”
Hearing the remarks, Jongin sits upright and stares at his hyung. He could’ve said something like, ‘so you left me alone to deal with them?’ or worse, ‘how could you be so selfish?’ but no. He’s not saying any of that. Being friends with Kyungsoo makes him learn to watch his mouth more, because he watched how Kyungsoo’d broke down just by mean words slapped violently to his face, and his title as ‘Kyungsoo’s bestfriend’ would be meaningless if he doesn’t make the older comfortable.
“Then don’t come,” Jongin says, hand stroking Kyungsoo’s hair. “I’ll come here after practice to shake them off. Just wait here, okay?”
“You can go home first, no need to wait for m-”
Jongin’s palm moves to Kyungsoo’s face, automatically silencing the older male. His pinky finger is on Kyungsoo’s lips, and Kyungsoo isn’t even sure if he has felt this sudden urge to kiss something so badly. He doesn’t know how to interpret what is hidden behind the kind smile on Jongin’s face.
“Don’t think too much, Hyung. You just have to sit here and wait for me.”
And that’s how things are reversed. It used to be Kyungsoo who walked from the library to the field to get Jongin, but now Jongin goes to library after practice’s done, sits with Kyungsoo until they call it a day. Sometimes he sleeps there, sometimes he takes his books out and studies with Kyungsoo, sometimes they just talk until the sky’s dark.
Kyungsoo is really glad they can spend time together just the two of them again. Even though there are several other people in the library and some girls who pass by still come to greet Jongin, at least they aren’t loud like the three annoying girls whom Kyungsoo doesn’t want to see anymore.
Now that he gets to see Jongin closer than usual, he often finds himself staring at the younger a bit longer than usual, too. He notices how the shape of Jongin’s mouth when he grins is still the same as the one he gave Kyungsoo the first time they met, or how the tone of his laugh reminds him of that day Jongin’s dogs jumped to him the first time Jongin brought them to meet Kyungsoo.
Both of them are happy with their condition they’re in, laughing at funny pictures Kyungsoo sees in his books or talking about the songs Jongin listened to recently. Jongin likes how easily he gets into conversations with Kyungsoo, they only have to randomly say one thing before they end up talking about it for the next 30 minutes.
It’s the last day of school before summer break and only Jongin and Kyungsoo are left in the library. The older is solving math problems and the younger is reading a novel Kyungsoo’s recommended to him. Suddenly there are people barging in the library and both of them look up to see who they are. Kyungsoo’s immediate reaction is to scoff while rolling his eyes, while Jongin’s is to shield Kyungsoo from whatever they’re trying to say.
“Jongin-ah you meanie!” Hyeri whines once she’s in front Jongin, stomping her legs childishly.
“So you’ve been coming here instead of waiting for us on the field! We were so worried you got sick!” Minah adds up, but she sounds relieved.
“Why are you with him again? I thought he’d left you! You don’t have to be friends with a selfish person like him!” Yura shoots and Jongin is quick to stand up, not wanting them to say worse things. He doesn’t mind them being loud, but not with them saying rude words to Kyungsoo. He doesn’t mind them being loud, but he’s not okay with them saying rude things to Kyungsoo.
“Please, this is the library. Keep your voice low,” Jongin asks slowly. “And we’re going home in a few minutes, you guys can leave too.”
“Jongin-ah you seriously have to stop being friends with that shrimp!” Yura points her manicured nail to Kyungsoo, making the oldest glare at her. Jongin hears Kyungsoo shift a bit impatiently in his seat, and he tries his best to make the atmosphere less tense.
“Girls, please stop-”
“Hey! Potter Oppa! Why did you make Jongin come all the way here??” Minah nearly screams and Kyungsoo can see the veins on her neck. Jongin doesn’t even have it in him to laugh at the nickname, and he really has no idea how to calm them down. “You should’ve gone home alone!”
Kyungsoo tries his best to not let the anger spill out the dam of patience he has in his heart, trying to turn a deaf ear to everything they’re saying. He can only rely on Jongin, because he knows the younger will stand up for him no matter what. “Minah-ya, I was the one who wanted to come here. Don’t blame him.”
“No need to let out dolphin noises, geez,” Kyungsoo grumbles finally. He lets his anger seep out his mouth little by little, not wanting to explode. “I didn’t come to the field because you guys have been pestering Jongin. I didn’t want to meet you, not Jongin.”
Jongin really didn’t expect Kyungsoo to speak aloud, because normally he doesn’t bother with people like them. He looks over his shoulder and shudders when he sees Kyungsoo glaring dangerously at the girls. Oh damn, this isn’t good, he thinks in worry. He tries to ask the girls to go because he really needs to calm Kyungsoo down before his insecurities start to squeeze his heart until it bursts, but what he doesn’t notice is the girls’ overwhelming rage at Kyungsoo.
Hyeri, who’s in charge of being the most annoying (this is what Kyungsoo thinks) ignores Jongin and slams her palm on the table hard. She’s challenging Kyungsoo and Jongin starts to assume that this girl has more courage than the mafias and bad guys in Korea combined. “You know what?? Jongin is tired and he needs rest, he shouldn’t be climbing three flights of stairs after hours of practice!! You’re draining him, don’t you know that?!”
That slaps Kyungsoo hard on his face. He almost forgot that Jongin has to practice everyday because summer break is approaching and the team doesn’t have much time until Fall Games start. Jongin is always so full of smiles that Kyungsoo never realized how tired Jongin actually was. They’re right, Jongin shouldn’t have come here in the first place. Guilt drains his anger and wavers the resolve he’s been trying to steady on his unstable heart.
Being the good friend he is, Jongin’s quick to know what Kyungsoo’s thinking and he really needs these girls to go. He puts a hand on Yura’s shoulder, eyes pleading. “Yura-ya, please, give us some space, I-”
Out of all people, Jongin totally doesn’t think that Kyungsoo would interrupt. But when he turns his head to the said male, Kyungsoo’s already standing, face isn’t as irritated anymore. “You know what? I’ll tell Jongin to stop coming here, I’ll come to the field instead. Happy?”
“Do you even know what you are to Jongin?” Minah sighs in heavy exasperation while Kyungsoo thinks he should be the one who’s doing that. “You’re a wall who prevents Jongin from reaching his dreams! Jongin should be focused on football and football only and not a person who clings to him because he has no friends!”
“Says the girl who follows Jongin around with her friends because she has a hopeless crush on him,” Kyungsoo shoots back and that silences Minah, making her presses her lips together because of the wrong step she’s just taken. It amazes Jongin that Kyungsoo can keep his voice still and confident in this kind of situation. “I told you, I’ve known Jongin before you knew him. I’ve known him since we were babies, who are you to come and try to part us?”
The girls fall silent at this, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at the sudden feel of déjà vu. Right now he’s almost utterly sure that he’d win all the arguments with these girls, if they ever came to him again in the future. Feeling defeated, Yura finally pulls Minah and Hyeri with her and exits the library.
Once they’re gone, Kyungsoo starts gathering his things and shoves them into his bag. Jongin approaches him and puts a hand on Kyungsoo’s neck, squeezing it lightly. The older looks at him, and Jongin can already see how shaky his feelings are just by looking at his eyes.
“You don’t have to think about what they said,” Jongin starts, voice coming out almost as a whisper.
“Did you even hear them, Jongin-ah?” Kyungsoo drops the things in his hands onto the table, but Jongin isn’t even surprised. “I told you from the start that you didn’t have to come here. I made you even more tired, didn’t I?”
“Did you even hear me?” Jongin holds both of Kyungsoo’s shoulders, grimacing at how small they are and how they can’t bear all the pain Kyungsoo has to hold by himself. “I was the one who wanted to come, I’d still come even if you told me not to.”
Jongin’s touch burns his skin, and what daunts Kyungsoo is he isn’t sure when the burn started. The skinship between them abates as they got older, but this isn’t how he should feel when Jongin touches him. He should feel more comfortable and secure, not feeling his skin growing hotter under Jongin’s hands.
“You just-you just don’t want me to feel bad,” Kyungsoo stutters as he opens his bag wide enough to put his books inside. The younger doesn’t give up there, he turns Kyungsoo to face him and pulls him into a hug. Kyungsoo’s too surprised to react, so he doesn’t hug Jongin back nor push him away. The memories inside his brain stir to remember the last time Jongin hugged him, but he’s too engulfed in the warmth of Jongin’s arms that he can’t recall anything.
“Please don’t think too much, Hyung. You know I came here because I want to be with you, and not them.” Jongin’s tone is near to pleading, he’s almost tired of this. He knows that both of them can’t keep on being like this, he can’t let Kyungsoo’s social circle only consists of him. He’s aware that Kyungsoo’s pretty close with his classmates, but when the bell rings and he steps out of the class, it ends. His legs will always lead him to Jongin because Jongin’s presence is what matters to him.
But as Jongin tightens his hug and Kyungsoo finally hugs him back, he knows that he doesn’t mind being the only one who gets to know Kyungsoo the most. Kyungsoo’s friends might make him laugh louder than Jongin does, but it’s Jongin who pulls Kyungsoo’s lips into a heart when he’s down. It’s Jongin who chooses the color when Kyungsoo wants to redye his hair.
He wants them to be together as long as possible, even if Jongin’s dead tired from practice or Kyungsoo can’t keep his eyes open after an all-nighter.
Jongin raises his eyebrows, realizing it’s what he’s promised to Kyungsoo years ago.
( part 2 )