#62: Echo of the Phoenix (part 3)
Part Three: Stella Maris (The Star of the Sea).
~*~
Ever since finding out that the travelling exhibition for the RMS Titanic would be coming to Seoul, Jongin had been looking forward to it. Though terrified of the sea (or any deep water, actually) the famous shipwreck had always fascinated him whenever he’d come across something that had made him think about it; he hadn’t been able to resist coming to the opening night to see what divers had been able to salvage from the wreck.
RMS Titanic was a British Passenger Liner that sank in the North Atlantic Ocean in the early morning of April 15th 1912, after colliding with an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton, United Kingdom, to New York City, United States of America.
Jongin shivered as he read the gold coloured plaque, reading about the tragedy made him think of his recent nightmares- the ship going down, people screaming…Taemin.
The thought of the enigmatic man whom he’d apparently met both in reality and in his unconscious mind had the hairs on the back of his neck standing up, and - feeling as though he was being watched - the brunette turned around, to find Taemin staring right at him; emerald eyes striking even from this distance, face framed with hair the colour of red flame.
I don't believe it he thought as he noticed the redhead’s equal surprise at seeing him here, twice in just a few days. Taemin nodded in acknowledgment, but then turned to walk away, and Jongin was shocked by the jolt in his stomach that screamed at him to stop the other man from leaving.
“Taemin! What are you doing here?” he asked as he swiftly caught up to him, words blunt and forthright. “Did you follow me?”
“Follow you?” Taemin said, eyebrow raised, “I have only met you once, how on earth would I have followed you, and moreover why would I?”
Jongin shrugged, “So why are you here then?”
“To see the Titanic, same as you I presume.” Taemin told him, “If you must know, I had family that died on that ship.”
Embarrassment and shame flooded Jongin’s body like a drug when he realised just how insensitive and rude he was being, “Wow Jongin, tactless.” He scolded himself.
“It is no matter.” Taemin said, though the brunette still felt like a jerk, “What brings you here then, a love of ships, or disasters? Perhaps both?”
“Neither really, but I have a definite fascination with this ship.” Jongin explained, pleased that Taemin seemed at least intrigued enough by him to hear him out, “For as long as I can remember I’ve been terrified of the sea, just the idea of going on a ship makes me feel nauseous, but at the same time I’ve found myself intrigued by this one.” He shrugged, unsure, “I don’t know, perhaps it’s the tragedy of it, the fact that it was her maiden voyage- hell it could even just be that I’ve seen the movie far too many times. Either way, I felt like I had to come and see this.”
Jongin left out the part where every dream he had lately involved a shipwreck, and that that alone would have driven him to this place. And to see Taemin here too, it’s a little creepy, if he was honest.
“I am sorry, I may have heard you wrong but-“ Taemin paused, looking confused, “Did you just say that there was a movie about Titanic?”
“Yes! It was a total box office hit when it was released,” Jongin told him, “It’s one of my favourite movies.” He frowned at Taemin’s blank expression. “You’ve really never heard of it?”
Where has this guy been for the last twenty years, Mars? Jongin wondered when the other man shook his head no.
“I must see this movie.” Taemin stated, eyes full of something the brunette couldn't read, wasn't sure he even wanted to.
“Well, I have it at home.” Jongin started, deciding to just take the plunge and at least attempt to get to know this person he seemed fated to keep running into, “You'd be welcome to come over for dinner one evening, then we could watch it together if you like.”
The slightest smirk showed the redhead’s mild amusement, “Is everyone in this city as frank as you?”
Jongin laughed softly, “I think it’s mainly just me.” He said, “I don't like letting opportunities pass me by.”
“And I am an opportunity, am I?”
“Perhaps.”
Taemin was quiet for a moment or too, that same unreadable expression on his face that made Jongin momentarily worry that he’d been a little too forward, but then the redhead was smiling so he figured he wasn't about to get punched or something.
“Dinner sounds like a lovely idea, I would be very pleased to spend the evening with you, Jongin.” Taemin said, and his strange way of speaking made the brunette smile- it was nice, in a quirky sort of way.
Jongin smiled, “That’s great, just come by the store, if you remember where it is, around six and I’ll take you home.” He felt himself flush when he realised how that sounded, “By that I mean, I’ll take you to my home.”
“Six will be fine.” Taemin said, making to walk back towards the exhibit, “Shall we take a look around together, then?”
Jongin nodded, thinking that - with his strange, old-fashioned way of speaking teamed with his sort of stiff and awkward demeanour - Taemin wouldn't have looked entirely out of place on Titanic.
A dinner set that had been salvaged from the wreck, once a beautiful ivory white china with a gold coloured trim, caught Jongin’s eye because it was one of the only relicts from the ship that wasn't displayed in a protective glass case- it was there for people to look at properly.
Unable to help himself, Jongin reached out, fingertips just barely brushing the edges of the nearest plate that had been lost and forgotten at the bottom of the sea for a hundred years.
“I have to say Mr Andrews, this ship truly is a wonder, I have never experienced such luxury at sea until now.”
“Ah my good sir, you are too kind.”
“And you Mr Andrews, are too modest. People will be talking about Titanic for decades to come I am sure of it.”
Listening to people born into first class society talk has always been such a bore to him. Every conversation centred on money and luxury, power and how to acquire yet more money. He doesn't know how Taemin stands it, though his flaxen haired, sapphire eyed partner doesn't seem particularly bored, he obviously isn’t really paying attention either. More like going through the motions of nodding and agreeing with the people seated around the table.
Unlike Taemin, he gets ignored for the most part. Invited to these dinners because he is Taemin’s guest, but not accepted into the fold because Taemin is the first class passenger, not him; though he is by no means poor, he could never afford this kind of luxury, or the chance of a new start away from England.
He finds himself smiling as Taemin gently squeezes his knee underneath the table- it’s enough to keep him smiling through the inertia of upper class conversation and lifestyle.
Jongin gasped, stepping backwards and straight into Taemin, who had been reading one of the information plaques nearby.
“Is everything alright Jongin?” he asked, automatically reaching out to steady him, but stopping when the brunette flinched away.
“I’m fine.” He said, not really wanting to pull away but not wanting to be touched either; he remembered what happened the last time their skin met.
Taemin didn't look convinced, but Jongin didn't know what he was supposed to say to explain himself, and so moved away, walking away from the china drenched in memories that weren’t his to a display that housed part of the actual ship.
Though corroded and orange with rust, Jongin could easily imagine what it would have looked like in 1912, and tried not to shudder at the thought of what was fated to become of the ship they had deemed unsinkable when it set sail from the United Kingdom.
If the dinner set had been full of memory, then this held nothing but nightmares. Nightmares so strong and full of death it made Jongin feel a little sick, urged him to move on through the exhibit.
“Titanic was the largest ship afloat at the time it entered service, and was the second of three Olympic class ocean liners, all operated by White Star Line, and was built by the Harland and Wolff shipyard in Belfast, Ireland, with Thomas Andrews as her naval architect.”
Andrews…Andrews Jongin thought as he listened to Taemin’s impressive knowledge about the ship as they walked around, the same Mr Andrews I saw when I touched that plate. What, am I having visions now?
It wasn't possible to have visions of the past, or at least it wasn't if you didn't want to be locked up for the rest of your life, Jongin knew that, and yet the coincidences were piling up, dumped in a corner where he didn't have to think about them because he didn't understand what they meant.
He really needed to learn to relax more or something, before he really did go crazy.
“Andrews was amongst those who died in the sinking, on her maiden voyage where she was carrying 2,224 passengers and crew. Under the command of Edward Smith, Titanic carried some of the wealthiest people in the world at that time, as well as hundreds of emigrants from Great Britain and Ireland, Scandinavia and elsewhere- each of them seeking a new life in the United States of America.”
Looking around, Jongin saw that even some of the staff seemed impressed by Taemin’s impromptu lecture - there was even a small crowd gathered to listen in - and he had to admit, he was too.
“Four days into her crossing, on April 14th 1912, some 375 miles south of Newfoundland, Titanic hit an iceberg at 11:40pm, as per the time noted by a crew member.” The redhead spoke with such passion, such certainty that Jongin felt moved, and strangely emotional when he saw the sadness now lingering in the depths of those brilliantly green eyes, “By 2:20am, she had broken apart and foundered, resulting in the tragic loss of some 1500 souls, each of them cherished and missed terribly.”
Taemin excused himself then, stepping away from the crowd (and the exhibit) leaving Jongin to almost run after him in order to keep up.
“How do you know so much about Titanic?” Jongin asked when he caught up to the redhead who now seemed more out of place than ever.
“Extensive research.” Was the clipped reply, but Jongin wasn't one to just give up.
“But why?” the brunette pressed, “Why Titanic, why not another shipwreck?”
Taemin stopped short then, green eyes boring into him from behind the curtain of fiery hair that had fallen across his face, “Because to me there is no other shipwreck!” he calmed almost immediately after his outburst, “Fascination, wasn't that what you called it?”
Jongin nodded, rendered speechless by both Taemin’s unexpected outburst, and the coincidence of them both being in the same place at the same time, because they were both fascinated by the same tragedy.
There it is again Jongin thought. That word.
Coincidence.
*
Everything is so calm underwater. So calm, peaceful in its emptiness. The rare gift of clarity, in times of turmoil or emotional unrest.
As a creature of fire, Taemin had sometimes wondered why he had never felt threatened by the presence of water, had never felt the need to avoid it at all costs- something that had cost him deeply, once.
Lying in the generously deep bathtub in his bathroom, the phoenix was submerged completely, staring up through the water yet seeing nothing, the only disturbance to the smooth, almost glassy surface being that of tiny oxygen bubbles floating upwards, faster the longer he stayed beneath the water.
Closing his eyes, Taemin’s senses were dulled yet his mind was perfectly clear, as though cleansed by the lack of oxygen whilst his ears could hear only the rush of water around him, the weight of it pressing against his body.
Screaming, so much screaming. The ocean was black, bottomless and unforgiving but yet calmer than the smallest stream. Skin so cold, tinged blue and frosting over with tiny particles of ice, clustering together to form patterns that would be pretty were it not for that same ice clinging to his eyelashes, hiding those eyes forever; now not even a spark remained of the amber gold fire that had once blazed so brightly.
Memories. So many memories so disjointed and unfocused- unthought-of for more than a hundred years. “Taemin!”
Eyes snapping open, Taemin sat bolt upright so fast that water sloshed over the edge of the bath, the echo of that voice - that cry of terror - reverberating around his skull as he sat there, shaking and coughing thanks to the water he’d swallowed.
“This should not be happening.” The phoenix muttered as he climbed out of the tub and pulled the plug, grabbing a towel but not bothering to wrap it around himself as he headed into his bedroom, “I blocked those memories out so that I wouldn't have to feel, permanently.”
Searching through the clothes he had acquired, Taemin settled on a jet-black dinner suit and crisp white shirt, hoping that it was suitable attire for the dinner Jongin had planned for them as he tied his quickly drying hair (thanks to his naturally elevated body temperature) up in a relatively loose ponytail.
Unaccustomed to what would be an appropriate thing to bring with him Taemin had picked up a bottle of rosé wine from a nearby store - again, unsure as to what they would be eating - and retrieved it from the refrigerator before slipping on his shoes and leaving the apartment to go and meet Jongin at his store.
“Taemin! You made it!” Jongin exclaimed rather excitedly when the phoenix walked through the front door, crossing over to him from where he’d been previously seated behind the cashier’s station, “Damn, you really dressed up.”
“A very good evening to you too, just Jongin.” Taemin greeted with a smirk, before glancing down at his suit, wondering if he’d chosen wrongly, “Should I not have dressed up? We are having dinner tonight, are we not?”
The slightest hint of a blush stained the apples of Jongin’s cheeks, “Yes, yes of course we are, you look great really it’s just- forget it. It’s just me, standing here with my foot in my mouth again.” The brunette shook his head at himself, “Kibum is locking up tonight so, if you’re ready, we can go if you like?”
“Lead the way.”
Taemin was pleasantly surprised when Jongin held the door open for him to walk through first - though they were both men - it hadn’t taken the phoenix long to realise that acts of courtesy were far and few between in this modern, twenty-first century world.
“To be quite honest, this is absolutely the most peculiar car I have ever been in.” Taemin said when they were on their way back to Jongin’s house a few moments later, “And I must say, I am rather unaccustomed to riding in the front seat.”
Jongin smiled in a way that spoke of amusement Taemin wasn't quite sure of, “Okay, first rule of us spending time together- you don't hate the car.” His tone was light, teasing, “She may be small but she’s perfectly safe and functional.”
Taemin nodded, an unexpected smile curving his lips, “I will not hate the car, you have my word.”
“Good.” Jongin laughed, “So, how come you’re not used to riding shotgun?”
“I beg your pardon?” Taemin asked, confused as to why they were suddenly talking about guns, “You have a shotgun?”
Jongin glanced at him, “What makes you think- oh,” realisation spread across his handsome face, “No, that’s not what I meant. Riding shotgun, it means like, riding in the front seat. It’s just an expression, I didn't realise you wouldn't understand.”
“I see.” Taemin said, though he didn't really, didn't understand why these people spoke in such strange ways, “Well I am unused to riding shotgun because I have never learned how to drive myself, and in the past I have always had a driver take me places I needed to be.”
“Wow, fancy.”
“I suppose.”
They were both mostly quiet after that, neither of them really knowing what to do or say, and Taemin found himself rather relieved that journey turned out to be a fairly short one. Once inside Jongin’s house - which was larger than he had expected, though he wasn't really sure what he had expected - the first thing the phoenix noticed was the young man’s obvious fascination with the sea.
There were photographs of various ocean views adorning the walls, ornamental replicas of marine life, even the curtains were a sky blue that gave off the illusion of ocean waves as they fluttered in the breeze from the open window; the archway between the living room and the kitchen even had pieces of what he recognised as ship rigging (complete with sail) as a curtain to divide the two rooms.
“For somebody with a fear of the ocean,” Taemin commented, the display causing a swirl of unwanted unrest in the deepest parts of himself- the shadow of pain left over from the last time he was human, “You sure do surround yourself with a lot of reminders.”
“Ah, well just because I’m afraid of being in the water, doesn't mean I don't like looking at it.” Jongin explained, smiling as he motioned for Taemin to follow him into the kitchen.
The phoenix didn't comment on this new perspective on how to deal with fear, because honestly he didn't understand it; usually people wanted no reminders of the things they were afraid of.
“What will we be having for dinner?” Taemin asked as he handed the bottle of wine over to the brunette, “I do hope wine was an appropriate choice.”
“Who cares?” Jongin shrugged, “Wine goes with everything,” he laughed though Taemin wasn't sure what was funny, “And we’re having fajitas.”
“I have never heard of it.” The phoenix said bluntly, and wasn't really surprised to see that Jongin didn't really look surprised.
“It’s a Mexican dish, chicken, vegetables and cheese all wrapped together in tortillas and served with sour cream.” Jongin supplied as he moved around the kitchen, gathering ingredients, “Here, I’ll show you.”
Taemin watched in fascination as Jongin cooked their dinner, first frying strips of chicken, then adding onion, red and green peppers, and garlic before pouring in a very red looking spicy tomato sauce - the brunette called it salsa - and finally warming through some tortilla wraps in the grill.
“I hope you don’t mind chilli,” Jongin said as he spooned the mixture into a large bowl, then grated fresh cheddar cheese into another smaller one, “These are a little spicy.”
Taemin shook his head, “Chilli is fine.” He said, thinking that though he’d kept an eye on the human race as a species, being a bird for a century teamed with self-imposed exile and isolation- he had a lot to learn about the 21st century.
“Okay, if you wouldn't mind just taking these things through to the living room,” Jongin started, gesturing to the food and clean plates, “I’ll just get changed for dinner. Feel free to look around or something, if you like.”
Nodding, the phoenix watched Jongin go, before doing as he was asked and taking the food and dinner plates into the living room and setting it down on the small, low coffee table almost in the centre of the room.
“And who the hell might you be?” a decidedly feminine voice sounded to his right almost the second he’d done ‘setting’ the table.
Spinning around, Taemin found himself staring at a beautiful scarlet red macaw, eyeing him warily from her sizable enclosure, “I beg your pardon madam, I didn't see you there. My name is Taemin.”
Slowly, she climbed closer to the edge of her cage, across one of several perches for her to rest on, “I’m Scarlet.” She told him, “What are you doing here with Jongin? The only visitors he ever has are Kibum and Jinki.”
“What a wonderful name,” he smiled, “And I’m here by invitation, to have dinner with him.”
“You speak in such a strange way.” Scarlet said, “Come to think of it, how can you speak to me at all?”
“Because I am the last immortal phoenix,” Taemin told her, “Beginning yet another year amongst the mortal human beings.”
A moment of awed silence, and Scarlet was spreading her wings and bowing low in respect for the superior being before her, “Please, there is no need to be so formal.” He said, waving a hand in dismissal, “It’s nice to finally find somebody in this city with a modicum of intellect.”
Scarlet made a sound that was very much a laugh, “You’ll get used to the modern world soon enough I’m sure,” a ruffle of her feathers, head held high, “And whenever you come here, I’ll be more than happy to help with anything you might need.”
“That would be wonderful, thank you, Miss Scarlet.” Taemin said, inclining his head in polite acknowledgement.
“Who’re you talking to?” Jongin asked as he walked into the room, no longer wearing his work uniform but a button down black shirt and dark denim jeans, his feet bare as he crossed the hardwood floor to where the phoenix was standing.
“You’re beguiling macaw.” Taemin said, “You look nice by the way, very handsome.”
“Thank you.” Jongin laughed, “So you like birds then? Scarlet has been one of my best friends for years.”
Taemin smiled, “Indeed I do.” He winked subtly at Scarlet before adding, “They’re frightfully intelligent creatures, I believe.”
Shaking his head and laughing softly once more, Jongin turned to close the sail to block out the light from the kitchen, “Could you give me a hand with the rigging? It’ll help set the mood.”
“Of course.” Taemin said, touching the replica rigging chains only to discover that they weren’t replicas at all; they were made of solid iron just like on a real ship.
Iron that burned his hand and made his skin scorch and begin to smoke ever so slightly, causing him to hiss in pain and jerk away.
“Are you okay?” Jongin asked, worried.
“The links, they’re made of iron.” Taemin said quietly, nursing his smarting hand, “I’m- I’m highly allergic.”
“Shit, I’m so sorry I didn't even think-“ Jongin rambled, looking embarrassed by his cursing, “You go sit down by the table, pour some wine if you like, I’ll finish up.”
Taemin did just that, and a moment later Jongin was done, he then switched the television on, grabbed a couple of controls before sitting down near Taemin, “Please help yourself to the food,” he said, “The DVD will only take a second to load.”
“DVD, digital versatile disk,” Scarlet piped up, “Genius invention that allows you to watch movies on the television in your own home. And Titanic is one of Jongin’s favourites.”
“So I’ve been told.” He answered telepathically.
Taemin watched for a moment, fascinated - if not slightly disgusted - at the way Jongin served himself out a couple of tortillas, before spooning on some of the chicken and salsa mixture, some cheese and sour cream, before rolling the whole thing up and eating it with his bare hands.
Apparently the human race hasn't evolved at all, in some ways he thought, but didn't say anything, choosing instead to just watch and learn, surprised both by the fact that the food was still hot, and also really quite tasty.
For a little while, Taemin found himself watching Jongin watch the movie - strangely entranced with his movements, from the way his brow furrowed slightly in concentration to the way he unknowingly blushed when he spilled a little salsa sauce down his chin - before deciding he really should watch this big screen adaptation of one of history’s biggest tragedies.
So focused he was with absorbing what was happening on the television, that he didn't notice there was a rather large hole in the bottom of one of his fajitas until he bit into it- and promptly spilled a large quantity of the filling down his pristine white shirt.
“Take it off, quickly!” Jongin exclaimed when he saw the mess, “If I wash it now it might not leave a stain.”
“But the movie-“ Taemin started even though he was already removing his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt.
“You can keep watching, I’ve seen it a thousand times.” The brunette told him, “I’ll only be a few minutes.”
“Very well.” The phoenix nodded, handing Jongin his shirt and noticing the way the young man averted his gaze once again before leaving the room quickly.
True to his word, Jongin was back in moments - along with a dark grey t-shirt for Taemin to borrow - and they finished up their dinner before relocating to the sofa to continue watching the movie.
By the time it was over - the Titanic thousands of feet below the sea and the male protagonist one of the hundreds that froze to death in the icy water, in order to save his female lover - Jongin was crying, and Taemin felt darkly disturbed, the scenes on the screen speaking to him in a way no scripted entertainment should.
He found the romanticising of such a huge disaster more than a little offensive; how could this movie be one of Jongin’s favourites?
“God I’m sorry, crying like a baby,” Jongin laughed, wiping his eyes as he switched the television off, “It always gets me like this, you’d think I’d be used to it. So, what did you think?”
“My honest opinion?”
“Of course.”
“I can’t believe people would use something as tragic as the sinking of Titanic as a way to make money.” The phoenix snapped, “It’s disgusting.”
“Wow, okay.” Jongin said, clearly surprised by his reaction, “It’s just a movie though.”
“But it’s not just a movie!” Taemin shouted as he stood up, skin growing hotter the more incensed he became, “Titanic was a very real disaster Jongin, where a lot of people- important people, lost their lives because of one man’s greed and hunger for popularity and power.”
“So Titanic, not a good choice of movie.” Jongin said, holding his hands up in mock surrender, something that only angered the phoenix further, to the point where he could almost feel the fire beneath his palms, ready to ignite.
“You just don't understand, do you? Though I can see why,” Taemin spat, “You’re nothing more than a silly little boy who gives massages for a living. What could you possibly know about loss?”
Jongin stood up then, anger written in his own expression, “How dare you come into my home and start lecturing me on what I do and don't know?” he shouted, body trembling, “You have no idea who I am, what I’ve been through! Cancer took my mother from me three years ago, leaving me to alone to find my way in the world!” he was breathing heavily now, and it made Taemin feel strangely guilty, “So don't tell me that I don't understand what it’s like to lose, when I’ve lost pretty much everything that ever mattered to me.”
Like there was an ocean wave suddenly swelling inside him to quell the flames, Taemin immediately calmed, “I am sorry.” He apologised as sincerely as he could, “Truly. I did not mean to speak to you in such an inappropriate manner. Something’s just…upset me. I am sorry for the loss of your mother.”
“Yeah well,” Jongin said quietly, “Me too.”
“Thank you very much for dinner,” Taemin said after a moment’s silence, “But I should probably be going. I think I have outstayed my welcome.”
Jongin didn't say anything whilst Taemin shrugged his jacket on over his borrowed shirt, and put his shoes on, “Goodnight, Kim Jongin.”
His hand was on the door handle when he heard Jongin’s voice again, “Can I see you again?” The words were blurted, rushed, as though he wasn't sure he should be speaking them at all.
Taemin turned back around, but Jongin was talking again before the phoenix could say anything, “I know I messed up with the movie but I swear, I never meant to upset you or anything, I honestly thought you’d like it.” He was rambling, anxious and nervous in a way the redhead hadn’t expected him to be, considering how self-assured he seemed in the museum, “We could go around the city or something, perhaps talk more and get to know each other better. Maybe get a second chance at a first impression?”
Taemin smiled then, “Seeing one another again shouldn't be a problem, and my first impression of you, Jongin-“ he said quietly as he stepped forwards, hand reaching out as though of it’s own accord, hovering close to the brunettes cheek for a second before he pulled it back, shocked by his own actions, “Was of you taking care of me when I blacked out in the street. Second chances will not be necessary, and in any case, I will need to return your shirt.”
The phoenix left then, leaving Jongin standing in the hallway staring after him - pushing thoughts of his unexpected reaction to his proximity to the back of his mind - deciding that even with his forthright behaviour and unsettling fascination with the sea, Jongin really was quite charming.
Taemin was still curious about this young man’s nightmares, so it was only right that he kept seeing him to find out more about these dreams, and discover what it was about Jongin that was so damned familiar- and why they kept getting drawn to one another, why in a sea of millions, did they keep ending up together.
So many questions, and only a year to answer them; the clock was ticking.
*
Jongin rolled over in his sleep, squeezing the blue cotton pillow tightly, as though holding someone’s hand; he was dreaming again.
The dock is heaving with people, bustling around, saying goodbye to friends and family or loading belongings onto the luxurious ocean liner almost ready to depart on her maiden voyage to America.
He’s never seen anything like it, never imagined that - with his modest lifestyle and quiet personality - he’d ever be in a position to go abroad like this, see the world.
Smoothing out his light brown, relatively comfortable travel suit, he smiles at Taemin, his handsome blonde lover who is dressed in a suit that is almost identical to his own, only the blonde’s is a deep, forestry shade of green that makes his eyes look an even more striking blue.
“Are you excited, baby?” Taemin asks, squeezing his hand tightly.
“Of course!” he exclaims, grin threatening to split his face in two as he bounces from one foot to the other, eager to board, “I can’t wait to see America, I can’t believe I’m really here!”
Taemin laughs, the sound husky and masculine in a way that makes him shiver, “And I can’t wait to show it to you,” the blonde raises their joined hands to kiss his knuckles quickly, subtly.
Soon - but perhaps not soon enough - it’s their turn to board, and he stands proud but a little nervous as he waits for Taemin to hand over their tickets; he’s never been away from home before.
“This is just the beginning baby, you’ll see.” Taemin smiles as the crewmember welcomes them aboard the RMS Titanic, and they take their first steps inside, “First America, then the world. I want to share it all with you.”
Groaning angrily into his pillow, Jongin hit the alarm clock with far more force than was necessary without even bothering to open his eyes first. He was getting sick of these dreams now, sick of waking up more exhausted than when he went to bed, simply because his brain suddenly seemed incapable of just flipping the switch to off.
“I really need to stop watching that movie so close to bedtime.” He muttered, thinking back to the name of the ship from his dream- perhaps Taemin had been right after all; it was a terrible thing to get entertainment from.
Dragging himself out of bed with a heavy sigh, Jongin grabbed some birdfeed from the cupboard in the kitchen he kept it in - after a quick detour to the bathroom - and then went to feed Scarlet, who was already awake and staring at him curiously.
It was so quiet in the house now, lonely and cold in a way he’d never realised until today; as though when Taemin left last night, he’d taken all the warmth with him.
“Thinking like that is going to get me nowhere fast.” He said out loud, taking a moment to stroke over the softness of Scarlet’s feathers, “Perhaps I should get you a friend,” he wondered, smiling when she pushed against his hand, nuzzling against him, “It’s not good for you, being cooped up in here alone all day.”
It’s not good for me, either he added silently, closing and locking her cage to go and get ready for another day at work, knowing he couldn't be late because Kibum was on a training course out of the city and so the store was entirely his for the day.
Dressing quickly, Jongin checked he had everything he needed before leaving the house, shouting goodbye to Scarlet as he left and briefly wondering if it was strange that the closest thing he had to a companion was a pet bird.
Probably, but he refused to dwell on it or let it get him down; love was something that he didn't allow himself to fall into easily, and right now was definitely not the time.
He was too busy having a crisis of some kind- a psychotic break perhaps.
Shaking his head at his own ridiculous train of thought, Jongin found himself sitting behind the counter of a very quiet A Touch of Silk, slowly eating his way through the breakfast muffin and drinking the entirely too large coffee that he’d made a pit stop for on the way to the store.
Glancing over the appointment book, Jongin sighed when he realised he only had a couple of morning bookings and then a rather quiet afternoon; it was going to be a long day.
“No, no, that’s fine Mrs Jung,” he found himself saying almost two hours later, “You just concentrate on getting rid of that flu, and then you can rebook.” He crossed her name out in the book neatly, writing cancelled above it, “Okay Mrs Jung, goodbye now.”
Hanging up the phone, Jongin underwent the routine of tidying up the treatment room after the back massage he’d given to one of their regulars - Miss Son, a friendly woman in her thirties who’d had terrible back trouble ever since a trampoline accident when she was still at school - putting the essential oils away neatly, exchanging the candles that had mostly burned down at putting the used towels in a canvas beg ready to take home and wash later.
He had no other bookings for the day right now, and so other than tidying and re-tidying the store - perhaps doing the stock take he’d been putting off for like a week because he hated it - Jongin didn't really know what he was going to do for the rest of the day to stop himself falling asleep in the shop- that would be seen as very unprofessional.
An hour or so went by with Jongin experimenting with merchandising displays, which had led him to showcasing Kibum’s nail polishes in seemingly every variety of every colour on the spectrum in an interesting looking pyramid, rather than their usual rows that went up in steps on plastic holders; he hoped his business partner wouldn't want to murder him when he came into the store tomorrow.
He glanced up when he heard the little bell tinkling above the door, “I’ll be with you in a-“ he started, turning around expecting to see a potential customer, and found himself face to face with Taemin, “moment.”
“There is no rush.” The redhead said, holding out what appeared to be folded clothing, “I was just passing by, and thought I should return your shirt.”
“Oh, right.” Jongin said, crossing the shop floor and reaching out to take the proffered shirt, “Thanks, I didn't expect it back so quickly but, thanks.”
Taemin frowned a little then, “Forgive me for saying so but you appear to be a little bored.”
Jongin laughed softly, “Bored would be an understatement,” he sighed, “The store is like a graveyard today. There’s only so many times you can sweep the floor and dust the shelves before there really is no point to it at all.”
“I see.”
An idea occurred to Jongin then, a crazy idea, but an idea none the less, “I was actually thinking about closing up early but-” he started, hoping he was making the right decision, “Now you’re here so, would you like to go on that tour of the city now?”
Taemin looked at him for a moment, in what appeared to be quiet contemplation, “I would not want to cause any trouble for you or your business.”
“It’s no trouble, we can go.” Jongin assured him, “Unless of course you would prefer either a massage, a wax or perhaps a manicure? I must warn you though, Kibum is much better at painting nails- I’m more a paint your whole fingers kind of a guy.”
“A city tour sounds like a most pleasant way to spend the afternoon.” Taemin answered, and his phrasing made Jongin smile for the umpteenth time, “Thank you, Jongin.”
“There’s no need, really.” Jongin said, leading the way back out of the store, pleased that the lack of customers had meant that he’d already changed back into his shirt and trousers- at least he looked presentable.
Screw it he thought as he locked up behind them, Kibum is going to want me dead for messing with his displays anyway; one afternoon off won’t change that.
After a few moments thought, Jongin decided to start Taemin’s tour of Seoul just east of Gangnam at a place called Jamsil, mostly because he wanted to show the redhead around the Coex Mall - one of South Korea’s most famous - a huge underground shopping centre full of every single aspect of the modern world (high fashion stores, a multitude of restaurants and several boutiques) that for some reason, Taemin seemed rather unfamiliar with.
Perhaps he’d been brought up in a family that didn't particularly like mod cons, or something.
“I’m sure you’ve probably already noticed at least a little,” Jongin started, striking up a conversation and hoping he didn't end up sounding too much like a stuffy tour guide, “But just like what the travel books say about Seoul, it really is a twenty-four hour city, full of high-rise, neon-saturated streets and pulsating commerce. Seoul is home to more than twenty million people, which makes it one of the most densely populated places on the planet.”
So perhaps it was a rather formal way of speaking, but Jongin wanted to be informative- wanted Taemin to find Seoul interesting- so that maybe he’ll want to stay for a good long while, instead of going back to wherever it was he came from, was the unwanted addition his subconscious threw at him.
“That many people, really?” Taemin said, looking surprised, “Seoul really is different now.”
Jongin frowned slightly, “Now?” he asked, “You’ve been here before?”
“Not for many years now, but yes- I’ve been here before.” Taemin told him as they took their time wandering around a couple of stores and acquiring several bags of shopping in the process after Jongin decided that retail therapy was exactly what he needed after the sleepless nights he’d been having lately.
But, perceptive as he was, it only took him an hour or so to realise that apparently shopping in a busy mall wasn't Taemin’s idea of a good time; his obvious distaste at the bustling (and sometimes a little rude) behaviour of the resident Seoulites’ was written all over the redhead’s strikingly beautiful face.
It also hadn’t taken Jongin long to realise that Taemin drew (sometimes all too appreciative) attention from absolutely everywhere, to the point where it was a little unnerving, though the other man didn't even seem to notice it.
“How about a ride on the subway?” Jongin suggested, “leave the shopping for another day.”
“Subway?” Taemin questioned, looking confused and like he had no idea what Jongin was talking about.
“You’re joking, right?”
“I do not joke, Jongin.” Taemin told him, looking mildly offended, “I have never ridden a subway.”
Jongin found himself smiling, “Well let’s go then!”
After explaining on the way that the subway was an underground system of trains that people used to travel the city easily, Jongin led the way to the train, where they took line 2 from Jamsil to the City Hall, a place that was surrounded by skyscrapers and flanked on one side by Deoksugung - one of the five palaces - and on the other side by five-star hotels.
As he always found the subway station there far too busy for his liking, Jongin took Taemin back to Namdaemun market, smiling when he noticed the redhead gazing up fascinatedly at the skyscrapers that surrounded them.
“So many tall buildings.” He commented quietly, “It’s a wonder you can even see the sky.”
Jongin laughed softly, “I’m used to it, but I guess I can see what you mean,” he said, “Where are you from then, a place without skyscrapers, I imagine.”
“The last place I really lived in, was England.” Taemin told him, “But I’m from everywhere, you could say.”
“That sounds exciting, I’ve never really travelled, been in Seoul for most of my life.”
“It is, at first, so many places to see. But though it’s necessary, it does get tedious after a while.”
“Why necessary?” Jongin asked, intrigued by this man who for the most part, was a total enigma to him.
Taemin fixed him with a look that the brunette couldn't quite read, green eyes piercing and intense, “You do ask a lot of questions.”
He flushed then, not wanting to sound rude, “I’m sorry, I don't mean to intrude on your life or anything I just- I’m curious about you, that’s all.”
“How so?”
Jongin shrugged, “I don't know, you’re just so unlike anybody I’ve ever met before.” He sighed, “You make me want to get to know you.”
“Likewise. And it’s all right,” Taemin said with a small smile, “If you really want to know, I’m a researcher, I guess that’s what you could call me. I research shipwrecks and help to excavate them- salvaging as many artefacts as I can so that the memory of those disasters is not lost.”
Walking as they talked, the two of them explored the market that sold just about everything from pig intestines to clip-on ties, “Your job sounds amazing, but I just couldn't imagine spending that much time at sea. Or any time at all, actually.”
“Why does the ocean frighten you so much?” Taemin asked, to which Jongin shrugged once more.
“No idea,” he said honestly, “It’s just something I’ve always been afraid of for as long as I can remember.”
“I see.”
Taemin was quiet for a little while after that, inspecting various stalls more closely, ending up with several more bags of purchases - which for the most part Jongin had no idea what they were - but included were several trinkets, and a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
“For you.” Taemin said as he turned to him, “As a thank you for today.”
Jongin didn't really know what to say, he’d never really been given flowers before, especially not any that looked quite so spectacular, exotic in their shades of fiery orange, sunshine yellow and fuchsia pink, “They’re wonderful, Taemin, thank you.” He smiled as he took the blooms gratefully.
“You are most welcome.” Taemin said, “So, where to next?”
“Have you seen the palace district yet?”
Taemin shook his head, “No, I have only been in Seoul a short while and haven’t really had time to do anything other than find accommodation.”
“Well it's an area of central Seoul bound by five ancient palaces, but my favourite place is Insa-Dong, which is a tight lattice of streets full of galleries, shops, tearooms and traditional restaurants.”
“Lead the way then.” Taemin smiled, sounding intrigued.
Figuring that they could both do with a bit of a break - and somewhere to put their bags down for a while - Jongin took them both to a teahouse in the middle of Insadong-Gil called Cha-Sarang; a place that was a little swankier and more polished than other tearooms in the area, but yet the multi-floored building still somehow managed to retain the same warmth and traditional style as some of the other smaller places.
Jongin ordered himself a cup of cinnamon tea (Gyepi-cha) because he’d always been a lover of anything and all things spicy, and found himself laughing when Taemin went for the ‘safer’ option of plum tea (Maesil-Cha), both of which that were served with a small plate of traditional Korean sweets.
Deciding to save those for later though, they both ordered a slice of chocolate cake each in favour of some of the more unusual choices of dessert on the menu.
“So Jongin, now that we are seated properly,” Taemin spoke up after taking a sip of his steaming hot tea that the brunette was amazed didn't scald his mouth out, “Why don't you tell me about yourself?”
“Well, I’m an only child, I never knew my father because he left when I was very young.” Jongin started, noticing that he had the redhead’s full attention, “As you know I lost my mother to cancer a few years ago, so it’s just been me and Scarlet ever since. I dropped out of college to help take care of my mother but when she died I couldn't face going back, which is how I ended up starting a business with Kibum.” He smiled at the thought of his best friend, “We’ve known each other since we were kids so, when my inheritance money came through I just pooled it with his savings and I’ve been working there ever since. Not the most interesting life I know- but it’s mine and I’m proud of it.”
“What a person finds interesting is relative, Jongin.” Taemin told him, smiling slightly, “I for one, find you very interesting, and I think giving up something you wanted to do in favour of caring for your sick mother was a very honourable thing to do.”
Jongin smiled in return, “So Lee Taemin, tell me something about yourself,” he paused for a moment, thinking, “I know, what’s the most famous shipwreck you’ve ever researched for work?”
“RMS Titanic.” He answered simply, and a shiver ran up Jongin’s spine; it was a little creepy, finding out that this practical stranger had worked on the same ship he kept having nightmares about.
Coincidence?
They finished up quickly after that, leaving the teahouse so that Jongin could take Taemin to the Sun Art Centre that was just around the corner, a place that housed probably the most renowned collection in the area. The collection consisted mainly of early twentieth-century works, showing that modern art in Korea went back to before the country’s economic boom. Art works inside included Kim Sou, who had an almost Rubens-like obsession with the flesh, and the floral works of Kim Chong Hak.
Regardless, Taemin seemed enthralled by the whole thing; clearly he was a lover of art.
Only when they emerged from the building some time later to see that the sun was starting to set did Jongin realise that they’d spent almost the whole afternoon exploring the city together.
“I can’t believe it’s getting so late already.” He said, smiling at Taemin, “Come on, there’s one more place I want you to see.”
As usual, Jongin led the way, this time taking Taemin south of Myeong-Dong, to Namsan Park, which after taking the subway exit three, was a bit of an uphill trek, especially with all their bags, but Taemin never once complained so he decided to just keep going.
“This is Seoul’s very own mountain.” Jongin explained when they took the cable car to the top, “265 metres high, and gives the best view of the whole city at night, plus you’ll be able to see the lights of Namsan Tower.”
“You’re right Jongin.” Taemin said quietly a short while later, as they sat together, watching the sun go down and the city come to life in a blaze of neon colour, “It is beautiful.”
Jongin didn't know how long they stayed there - or when it was that he started to get a little cold - but he liked being there with Taemin, who seemed so warm he swore he could actually feel the heat coming off him.
“You’re cold.” Taemin stated suddenly, but continued before Jongin could protest, “Come on, let us go and get something to eat.”
“That would be nice.” Jongin said as they stood up, smiling when Taemin offered his arm for him to take.
Without thinking, Jongin did just that, and was about to suggest a little Italian place that he really liked when he was suddenly consumed by a pain so intense, so fierce he actually doubled over, unable to keep walking.
“Jongin? Are you feeling unwell?” he vaguely heard Taemin ask through the rush of the ocean flooding his senses, sounding worried for the first time.
He wanted to answer, he really did, but all Jongin could focus on - all he was in that moment - was the incredible sorrow that seemed to pour off Taemin in waves, violent and unforgiving.
“Fuck.” He gasped out loud; because he could feel the heat of Taemin’s skin almost burning through his clothes and the longer he held onto him, the more the pain intensified.
A man is in the ocean. He's freezing to death. Cold, so cold and frightened; “Please don't leave me, please baby, don’t go.” Taemin’s anguished cry of loss and a void that can never be filled.
“Jongin, Jongin can you hear me?” Taemin was speaking again, shaking him as he tried to snap him out of whatever waking nightmare he was gripped in.
When his eyes finally refocused all he could see were twin emeralds glittering back at him, and he gasped the name he could hear Taemin screaming inside his head, “Joseph.”
Then Jongin could stand it no longer, and finally succumbed to the emotional pain so strong all he could do now was collapse-
He only hoped that Taemin’s arms would catch him before he hit the ground.
part 4