Fic: Partings
Title: Partings
Author: kaitmaree77
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: Post ep Teamwork
Summary: She is crying and he is suffocating, loss rising within him once again.
Note: Short and angsty, let me know what you think, guys. Beta’ed by the amazing spyndisguise - thank you!
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She went her unremembering way,
She went and left in me
The pang of all the partings gone,
And partings yet to be.
~Francis Thompson
Despite every preparation for this moment, every past experience threatening and promising to reoccur, when Cameron leaves Chase finds himself at an utter loss for words, and feelings, and thoughts.
All he can feel is his heart in his chest as she leaves, tight and beating fast. It physically hurts to watch her go, as if a part of him is inside of her and as she walks away it is stripped away. It hurts like hell.
She is crying and he is suffocating, loss rising within him once again.
Anger swells quickly: anger and blame, anger and regret, anger and guilt.
Chase feels entirely torn apart, unsure of whether he is feeling anger at her or himself, whether he even has a right to be mad after everything he’s put her through. Still, there is a small part of himself that threatens destruction unless he shifts the blame onto someone else.
Except he can’t. Ever since he was young, Chase has taken sole responsibility for losing the people he’s loved. His mother, fallen into the bottle, his father, for whom he was never good enough, and now for her, for breaking her heart - for breaking them.
His fists form tight, glass smashes against the wall and fragments of glass scatter and he doesn’t care. The photo of them symbolises happiness, of a fresh start. Reality ripping the picturesque promise into nothingness. It hurts too much to bear.
Chase curls up tight, slamming his tired eyes shut and allowing himself to silently cry. He is vulnerable, he is aching, he is broken.
He is certain in this moment that he would hate her if he didn’t love her so much.