(for seekingsugar) Dastardly Deceptions
For: seekingsugar
By: Anonymous until reveals
Title: Dastardly Deceptions
Rating: PG-13
Length: 8789
Notes:Dear seekingsugar, I had a bit too much fun with this, so I'm so sorry if I tweaked your prompt a bit too much (maybe). I do hope you like it though! Thanks to P for always being my alpha reader, R for struggling through this with me, and my betas who don't even read EXO fanfics.
P.S. I don't hate Jongdae, honest.
Warnings: The Beagle Line, underage drinking, unrequited love
Summary: The Beagle Line thinks that it's an awful shame that Jongin and Yixing only interact within the context of their friends and work hard to rectify this. Alternatively: Jongdae wants to get into Junmyeon's pants and the only way to do this is through Junmyeon's cousin, Jongin.
The practice of affectionately calling your best friends demeaning names is not uncommon in any society. However, when Jongin dubbed Jongdae, Baekhyun and Chanyeol as the Beagle Line due to their likeness to the actual dog breed (“They’ll make you laugh, but that's only when they're not making you cry because of their naughtiness”), it was more of a factual statement. Nevertheless, the nickname stuck because anything sounds better than ‘The Three Stooges’.
Soon after its formation, Sehun gets inducted into the Beagle Line. During his first few months in university, Sehun was frequently invited to hang out with the motley crew by his mentor, Luhan.
It took some time for him to warm up to his hyungs, especially when they treated him like a baby, but when he finally did, he dropped the aloof act and showed them his true colors. In Luhan’s words, he went from a “cute and obedient dongsaeng” to an “obnoxiously bratty, brat brat BRAT”.
For Kim Jongdae, self-elected Captain of the Beagle Line, Sehun had pretty much fulfilled all the membership criteria for their little club with that alone.
“Now that our lovely Sehunnie is a full-fledged Beagle, it really feels like we’re a family,” Jongdae said one day during lunch. He looked around the table and was disappointed to see his friends more interested in their food than listening to his upcoming speech.
“Pay attention!” he barked and roughly kicked Baekhyun’s chair. Chanyeol hurriedly caught Baekhyun’s chair before it tipped over, but not before the cafeteria was filled with an ear-piercing shriek as the metal legs dragged across the linoleum.
“Dude, don’t do that!” he scolded and flipped his middle finger at Jongdae. Baekhyun on the other hand was too preoccupied with the piece of sandwich lodged in his windpipe.
Not at all concerned with the wellbeing of his hyung, Sehun went back to shoveling pasta in his mouth. “I can’t believe you actually yapped, J.D.,” he said in between bites.
By that time, Baekhyun had managed to cough out the potential murder weapon with the help of Chanyeol’s unforgiving slaps on the back (courtesy of his large hands).
“Well Sehun, that is what bitches are normally expected to do,” Baekhyun sneered. The tears in his eyes somewhat ruined the intended effect and only made Jongdae smile at him sweetly.
“Damn, you’re still alive,” he said before meeting with a faceful of fries.
“What do you want, J.D.?” Baekhyun was getting exasperated. The table started to shake a bit as one of Jongdae’s legs started jittering.
“You know I think of you guys like family, right?” he said in a small voice.
Chanyeol threw him an uneasy glance. “Jongdae, Is there something you want to tell us?” he said quietly, reaching a hand under the table to steady Jongdae’s leg.
Jongdae looked around the cafeteria nervously and took out a piece of paper and a pen. The other three boys bent their heads over the piece of paper after Jongdae slid it towards them. His messy scrawl read: ‘I CAN’T GET THROUGH TO JUNMYEON-HYUNG!!’
There was a collective groan. “This again?” Baekhyun said, not bothering to tone down the snide in his voice.
“I thought if I was nice to Sehun, hyung might notice me more,” Jongdae explained with a pathetic whine.
“Wow, thanks,” Sehun interjected with his signature eyeroll.
“Shut up, kid! He pays more attention to you than he does me. I wish I was the youngest,” Jongdae wailed, feeling doubly sorry for himself.
Chanyeol grabbed the paper and pen from Jongdae and flipped it to a fresh page. “Time to change tactics,” he mumbled as he uncapped the pen with his teeth and spat the cap out. He then rummaged through his pencil case and took out some colored pens. With the kind of speed that guarantees chicken scratch results, Chanyeol sketched out a mind map of their group of friends.
(“Are his eyes on fire?” Sehun whispered. “Yes,” Baekhyun said with a long-suffering sigh. “There’s no stopping him when he enters ‘The Zone’.”)
Chanyeol slammed his orange pen onto the table and let out a satisfied grunt. He held up the paper and grinned toothily. “Spot the difference.”
Jongdae made a face. “You drew a broken heart for me and Junmyeon-hyung.”
Baekhyun stole Jongdae’s pen and threw it at his face. “You are BEYOND help!”
The pen bounced off Jongdae’s nose and clattered onto the floor. “Okay, okay I was just kidding, jeez.” Jongdae stuck his tongue out at Baekhyun as he touched his nose gingerly. “It hurts....”
(“What a baby,” Sehun muttered.)
Chanyeol flapped the piece of paper in front of their faces. “Wander your eyes back to this, my brethren,” he said dramatically.
(“Why is he talking like that?” Sehun muttered.)
Chanyeol switched his voice from the one he often used for drama recitals to the one he normally used for presentations. “If you look carefully at the diagram, you’ll find that Kim Jongin and Zhang Yixing are the only ones not connected by a pink heart. Broken or otherwise.”
“Hey!” Everyone at the table ignored Jongdae.
“In any wide circle of friends,” Chanyeol continued, “There are always going to be people who will remain at the very least, ‘a friend of a friend’ and at best, ‘acquaintances’. I’ve noticed that they only talk to each other when someone else is with them. Don’t you guys think so?”
There was an almost unanimous hum of assent from the audience. Sehun was the only who just shrugged, but then again, that was his default reaction to almost anything.
“Now if we were to look at how everyone relates to each other....” Chanyeol trailed off as he added some scribbles onto the paper with a blue pen. Once he was done, he twirled the paper 180° to present it to the peanut gallery again.
“Oh my god, Chanyeol! I DO NOT NEED OR EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!”
“What the fuck do you mean by ‘random guy’?!”
“This is better than some of the stuff in your design portfolio. Have some shame.”
“ARGH. MISSING. THE. POINT,” Chanyeol snarled, almost tearing his hair out in frustration. “Look.” Chanyeol jabbed his finger at ‘Jongin’. “You attack the minion first,” he said and traced the line to ‘KJM’, “Before you tackle the final boss!
“You’ve been going about this whole ‘Senpai Notice Me’ all wrong the whole fucking time.”
Jongdae groaned into his hands. “Can you not?”
“None of your previous ideas got you into his pants did they?” Chanyeol challenged dangerously.
“So what’s your plan to help ‘J’ get the ‘D’?” Baekhyun said casually as he looked over the diagram.
“More importantly, how does hooking Jongin up with Yixing-hyung help ‘J’ get the ‘D’?” Sehun asked over Jongdae’s loud keening.
Chanyeol shrugged distractedly. “I honestly don’t know,” he admitted. “I just thought it would be fun if all of us are fucking each other except J.D. and Junmyeon-hyung.”
“I hope Kyungsoo castrates you and fucks you with your own dick,” Jongdae hissed.
Chanyeol spared him a split-second glance. “Ew, kinky. Anyway,” he looked back at his diagram and screwed his expression into one of concentration. “We need to come up with a game plan. Let’s call them ‘Deceptions’ because Inception was super cool but the name won’t fit.”
“Yeah, I mean, we gotta know our limits,” Baekhyun quipped sarcastically.
“Exactly!” Chanyeol pointed his pen at Baekhyun in agreement. He then rested his chin on his palm and poked Sehun’s nose with the pen. “As Target #1’s best friend, do you know if Jongin shares any classes with Yixing-hyung?”
“Just dance practice I think,” Sehun said with a noncommittal shrug. “But that’s for club because Jongin’s a dance junkie. Yixing-hyung’s not even in our programme.”
“Then why are you in the club?”
“I’m Jongin’s life force.”
“Translation: You got lonely and Luhan-hyung’s too busy,” Jongdae scoffed.
“I won’t deny that,” Sehun said casually. “Speaking of which, why don’t we get Luhan-hyung to bring Yixing to a soccer game?”
“Yixing-hyung prefers basketball.”
“I did not know that,” Sehun replied at the same time Chanyeol muttered “Let’s not involve Luhan-hyung or Minseok-hyung in this,” under his breath.
Jongdae pretended not to hear Chanyeol although he wholeheartedly agreed with him. “He’s really good. You should watch him play streetball.”
Baekhyun held a hand to his forehead as if he was seized by a migraine.“I worry that none of you will graduate before the age of 30. The aim,” he said slowly and enunciating every word clearly, “Is to get Jongin and Yixing-hyung alone. Away from other people so they’d talk to each other.”
He motioned Chanyeol to hand him the diagram and flipped it over to the page with Jongdae’s confession. As he wrote, Chanyeol read the words aloud.
“Deception #1: Get Jongin and Yixing to bump into each other at the grocery store.”
Jongdae who had been quietly nursing his wounds objected to the idea. “I don’t trust Yixing-hyung with the groceries! He always forgets something. The last time it was his wallet.”
“Junmyeon-hyung’s in charge of the shopping in our house,” Sehun added. Unlike the rest who either stayed in dorms or commuted from home, Sehun, Jongin, Junmyeon, and Minseok shared an apartment at the edge of the campus.
Jongdae’s eyes lit up with hope. “Then can’t we just focus on me and Junmyeon-hyung instead?”
“Deception #1: Redux,” Chanyeol read out as Baekhyun crossed out the previous line and wrote a new one.
“You guys seriously need to stop ignoring me. I am your leader!”
After much bickering, it was agreed that they would set Jongin and Yixing up on a coffee date. With the exam season less than 3 months away, they would bait the two with a study group session at a quaint little hipster cafe.
What their victims wouldn’t know was that no one else would turn up but them. The cozy ambience coupled with the shared anger of being ditched by friends was a surefire way to heat things up.
“How are we gonna know if the plan’s a success if no one else’s there?” Sehun pointed out. There was the briefest of silences before Chanyeol suggested that they go to the cafe incognito.
Baekhyun laughed raucously. “We’re called Beagles for a good reason, Chanyeol-ah!”
In the end, they bribed Kyungsoo to be their representative or in Baekhyun’s words: ‘chaperone so things don’t get too dirty too fast’. It earned him a quick punch to the gut, but Jongdae counted it as foreplay rather than collateral damage.
*
Deception #1 (Redux)
On the day of the ‘date’, all the role-players were present thanks to Sehun’s and Jongdae’s ‘cunning’ deceptions. What the rest didn’t know was that Sehun literally went down on his knees and begged Jongin to help him with a paper (because Jongin was sick of Sehun copying off of him all the time). And on Yixing’s side, he demanded an aegyo performance which Jongdae happily gave but would never reenact much less admit to performing.
Everything was going smoothly. There was even a sudden heavy downpour that left their victims no choice but to huddle in the warm cafe for hours.
The only downside though, was entirely due to The Beagles’ oversight. They had conveniently forgotten to take into account Kyungsoo’s no-nonsense attitude towards his studies.
“Put your phones on silent and leave it here,” he instructed Yixing when he showed up drenched, tapping a finger on the center of the wooden table. Jongin had arrived earlier and while he managed to escape the rain, his phone too was held hostage.
“Jongdae’s not here yet?” Yixing said curiously. “I thought I was late.”
“You are, but we came here straight from Vocal Ensemble. About an hour in he started fidgeting so much I told him to go home and study by himself next time,” Kyungsoo lied easily.
“Typical!” Yixing said with an exasperated huff. His eyes strayed towards Jongin’s chocolate frap and gave an involuntary shudder. “I need something hot,” he mumbled distractedly, all annoyance forgotten. As Yixing trailed water towards the counter, Jongin turned to Kyungsoo with his straw in between his lips.
“Should we tell him no one else is coming?” Just ten minutes ago, Sehun had texted him saying that he wouldn’t be coming because he didn’t ‘feel like doing anything productive today, bro’. Their conversation immediately took an ugly turn as they exchanged curses and threats.
“He probably doesn’t care.” Kyungsoo opened his daily planner and penned in something that looked suspiciously like ‘Search and destroy,’ under the 6pm column. A chill ran down his spine when Jongin surreptitiously glanced at his watch and noticed that it was 5.30pm.
Yixing scurried back with a large hot chocolate in hand and took the seat beside Kyungsoo and across from Jongin.
“Careful not to spill it, hyung,” Jongin fretted and moved their belongings around in case the worst happens. “Hyung, don’t swirl it around, you’re going to hurt yourself!”
Kyungsoo gave thanks to Jesus for his natural poker face because watching an overly confident Yixing failing to assure a nervous Jongin was enough to melt his stone cold heart.
“Such a worrier,” Yixing teased, a playful grin on his face.
Jongin glared daggers at him. “See if I care when you get scalded.”
“Kyungsoo, what’s ‘scalded’?” Yixing asked innocently. Jongin’s face soured even further as Kyungsoo explained the word in Mandarin.
“Ah, thank you Kyungsoo. Scalded. Scal-ded,” Yixing said slowly, getting used to the word.
“Hyung, you better dry off or you’ll catch a cold,” Jongin said sulkily. “And we should really get to studying.”
Kyungsoo nodded furiously and patted Jongin on the back. “That’s right, that’s right. Before we start, I want to take a look at your study plans individually,” he said as he looked back and forth between Yixing and Jongin. “We don’t want to waste the day any more than we already have.” His comically wide eyes failed to diminish his drill sergeant persona.
“My position as the sunbae is being threatened,” Yixing joked. He grabbed a fresh towel from his duffel bag and dried out his hair.
Kyungsoo threw him a smile. “Sorry, hyung. Force of habit.”
“First year mentor?” Yixing guessed.
“Yep.” Kyungsoo’s smile widened. “Junmyeon-hyung was my mentor back in my freshman year and he helped me out a lot. He told me that the best way to repay him was to pay it forward so here I am.”
Yixing shook his head and gave a mock salute. “Mad respect my man. I could never do it,” he said, clasping Kyungsoo’s small hand in his. The praise and casual skinship left a dusting of light pink on Kyungsoo’s plump cheeks.
Jongin had kept quiet during the entire exchange but decided then and there to grab his textbooks from his backpack and slam them on the table. He cleared his throat almost aggressively. “What’s a study plan, hyung? I might need to make one since my grades are slipping.”
Yixing and Kyungsoo raised their eyebrows, Yixing in amusement and Kyungsoo in bewilderment. “I helped you make yours back in fall, Jongin. Did you lose it?” Yixing bit back a laugh at seeing Jongin’s horrified reaction to a hurt and confused Kyungsoo.
The three quickly settled down after Jongin hastily bullshitted his way out of the hole he dug himself in. Kyungsoo was initially put out that Yixing didn’t have a study plan but being a final year student, his material was too advanced for either juniors to comprehend so he only referred to them for opinions and ideas rather than advice.
If anything, Jongin was the only one who benefitted the most from the session since Yixing and Kyungsoo had already completed all of their compulsory modules. They gave him tips not just for studying, but also the best lecturers and seniors to approach for extra help.
6pm on the dot, Kyungsoo’s phone buzzed and Jongdae’s mug in all his cat got the canary glory appeared on the screen. Fuck, Kyungsoo sighed internally. That’s right, I’m meant to leave them alone. “Excuse me, I need to take this call,” Kyungsoo said icily.
“Tell Jongdae to find somewhere else to sleep tonight,” Yixing said without looking up from his notes. Kyungsoo snorted in amusement. “I’ll pass on the message.”
Kyungsoo stood outside of the coffee shop but away from the pelting rain and held his phone a few centimeters away from his ear. “Hey bud!” Jongdae’s obnoxiously loud voice crackled through the speaker. “What’s the status?”
“I’m a bit behind on my study goals today no thanks to you.”
“What?” Jongdae asked in confusion.
“I really don’t appreciate having my revision time interrupted, especially midway.”
“Kyungsoo, if it really matters that much to you, I can go to the library with you after this and keep you company. And then you can tell me how it all went.”
Kyungsoo entertained the thought for about 0.2 seconds. “Nah, I’ll get more done with Junmyeon-hyung.”
“Can I come along?” Jongdae asked shamelessly. “I mean, well. I still need a status update,” he backtracked.
“I’ll give it to you now. I’m confident that both Yixing-hyung and Jongin will get good, if not excellent, grades this semester if they keep up what they’re currently doing. A study session is a pretty stupid idea considering that neither of them actually needs help with their studies.
“By the way, Yixing-hyung told me to tell you not to come back to your room tonight, but I don’t think it’s because he’s gonna bring Jongin over.” But I could be wrong, Kyungsoo thought wryly.
The line on the other end was quiet for a while. Kyungsoo wondered if he went too far. He was about to apologize for messing around with him when Jongdae chirped a “Thanks for the feedback, Soo!”
“What?” It was Kyungsoo’s turn to feel confused.
“Well, the whole thing was a stupid idea to start with but I’m not giving up. So I’ll think about it harder with the other boys. To be honest, I don’t really think this is gonna help me with Junmyeon-hyung, but it’s kinda fun.”
“Jongdae - ”
“Hope you reach your study goals today! Tell Junmyeon-hyung I said hi, yeah? I’ll talk to Yixing-hyung myself. He must be pretty mad if he’s kicking me out. Thanks again Soo~”
The line went dead and Kyungsoo stared dumbly at his phone. “What just happened?” He shook himself out of the stupor and went back to the table and was greeted with the sight of Yixing and Jongin laughing over a joke.
Kyungsoo cleared his throat and pulled an irritated face. “Sorry to interrupt and leave you guys hanging, but I’m going to go beat up Jongdae.”
Jongin blinked at him and leaned over as Kyungsoo packed up his things. “Hyung,” he said in a low voice. “Be careful not to leave any evidence.” Kyungsoo stopped what he was doing to look at Jongin and burst out laughing.
“You’re cute Jongin-ah.” Kyungsoo’s lips stretched into a wide smile as he ruffled Jongin’s hair. If he felt a chill from his other side, Kyungsoo didn’t show it, but the sadistic part of his personality was pleased.
Jongin pretended that his face wasn’t flushing and played along. “You want me to walk you back? I’m worried that you’ll get kidnapped because you’re 10 times cuter than me,” he said, flashing his perfectly lined and brilliantly white teeth.
Before Kyungsoo can respond, Yixing pushed his chair back loudly and muttered something about getting another drink. Kyungsoo gave Jongin a knowing smile and received a one-shoulder-shrug in reply. “That’s not very nice, you know.”
“Take care, hyung.”
Kyungsoo left before Yixing went back to his seat and so had missed seeing Jongin grab Yixing’s hand and rub a thumb over his knuckles in apology. He had also missed hearing Yixing complain that just because he mentioned that Kyungsoo was cute that one time didn’t mean that Jongin could throw it back to his face.
In fact, seeing Jongin say “I’m sorry,” with a half-smile and chewing on his straw to stop himself from kissing away Yixing’s pout was definitely not the last thing Kyungsoo missed out on.
As Kyungsoo walked further away from the warm and dry cafe, he mentally rehearsed the conversation he planned to have with Junmyeon. His sunbae really needed to open his fucking eyes and stop being so fucking oblivious.
It was like watching Chanyeol mustering up the courage to confess to him and Baekhyun all over again. Except this time, Kyungsoo didn’t feel any satisfaction from the pitiful display of affection.
*
The next day at the cafeteria, Jongdae watched in open disgust as Chanyeol limped his way to their table, supported by a tired, but otherwise unharmed Baekhyun. “Great,” he grumbled. “I had to spend the night with Minseok-hyung and listen to him babbling on and on and on and on about ethnobiology while you spent the night fucking like rabbits.”
He shot a glare at Baekhyun. “Yeah, you better look scared, asshole,” he snapped. Before Baekhyun could open his mouth, Jongdae felt a strong grip on his shoulder. Jongdae froze like a deer in the headlights and strained his eyeballs to look down at the hand he wished he wasn’t acutely familiar with.
“For the last time, it’s ETHNO-MUSIC-OLOGY,” said a voice that could be friendly if the owner wasn’t so exhausted. Yep, Jongdae thought. It’s Minseok-hyung alright.
“And now that my hypothesis for the impact of its application in the modern generation was rejected,” the voice went on solely for the benefit of their audience because Jongdae had heard this a million times the night before. “I need to come up with an explanation for why my sample results were so shitty. So I’d really appreciate it if you don’t bring it up again.”
“There, there, Baozi,” Luhan pulled out a chair and guided Minseok to it. He gave his juniors an apologetic smile. “I had to get him out of the room or he’d hang himself,” he said in a loud whisper while smoothing out the knots in between Minseok’s shoulder blades.
“Hyung,” Jongdae said after swallowing audibly. “That is by far the scariest and most depressing thing you’ve told us about post-grad life....”
Luhan’s eyes twinkled as he laughed melodiously. “Oh, Jongdae. Whatever are you talking about?” His deceptively cherubic expression made everyone at the table except Minseok and Sehun shudder in undisguised terror.
“It’s been a while, Luhan-hyung, Minseok-hyung,” Baekhyun said meekly. “Lovely morning, isn’t it?” What Baekhyun really meant was: Please, please, spare us from your depressing stories about senior year and post-grad studies today.
“It is, but I don’t think Minseok would agree.” The original Beagle Line had to strengthen their mental fortitude because Luhan actually sounded pretty upset. Sehun on the other hand felt a pang of sympathy and offered to bring them some food.
“How about we go together instead?” Luhan suggested brightly.
“Um, yeah, sure,” Sehun said carefully. He really didn’t understand why the rest of The Beagles were frantically shaking their heads. It was even more puzzling to see them all frozen like statues when Luhan followed his curious gaze.
Even though the two most senior students out of their group of friends came back to complete their Masters, they spent less and less time with the clique, much less any other student under their age, because of their workload. Luhan however, was still regularly seen around campus because he stubbornly refused to let go of his mentorship role for reasons only the relevant administrators and Minseok knew.
Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae suspected that Luhan was actually an Evil Overlord planning on building an army of young supporters like Sehun. Unsurprisingly, this belief (read: delusion) was not shared by anyone else.
“I wish you’d hurry up and realize that your paranoia is what keeps Luhan-hyung coming back,” Kyungsoo had told them once. Also unsurprisingly, his words fell on deaf ears.
When Sehun and Luhan returned, the table was heavy with silence. Jongdae had given up on eating while Chanyeol and Baekhyun knew better than to go to class with an empty stomach. Even if it meant forcing their breakfast down their throat with a distinct possibility of throwing it all back up. “This is a miracle,” Sehun remarked.
“What is?” Luhan said with leering interest as he sat down next to Minseok. Sehun blinked a few times. He was pretty sure he caught Chanyeol flinching in his seat. “No, it’s nothing,” he decided.
“So, Jongin looked pretty happy yesterday,” Sehun announced. This time it was Jongdae who flinched. Sehun was pretty sure, but just to be safe.... “He even gave me tips for my paper. This is not normal.”
“Sehun,” Jongdae croaked but didn’t continue.
“He came back pretty late,” Sehun went on. The reaction was astounding to say the least. The entire cafeteria fell silent and looked over at their table after Jongdae shrieked in a mixture of devastation and disbelief.
Luhan locked eyes with Sehun. “What’s going on?”
Sehun had never thought that the day would come when he finds himself torn between loyalties towards two opposing parties. To be fair, it wasn’t that difficult of a decision to make. Sehun threw up his hands as though he was washing his hands of the world.
“You need all the help you can get, J.D.,” he argued. “Remember the ultimate goal,” Sehun added to shut Jongdae up.
“I hate to admit it, but Sehun’s on a different level than us,” Baekhyun whispered to Chanyeol and Jongdae while Sehun gave Luhan and Minseok the gist of their circumstances.
“Yeah, okay,” Chanyeol agreed, “But the last time Luhan-hyung looked that serious, I ended up facing the Disciplinary Committee.”
“I still can’t figure out how he tricked you into sending high fashion lingerie to all our professors and TAs,” Baekhyun said, half-impressed and half-scared shitless.
“I don’t want to think about him joining our war effort,” Jongdae whimpered. The three of them signed themselves unironically.
*
Deception #2
By a stroke of luck, Sehun’s and Luhan’s joint birthday party was coming up in a few days. Sehun’s dad had agreed to let them hold the party at their villa in Hannam-dong under the condition that their neighbors won’t need to call the cops or 119.
“Now that that’s out of the way,” Sehun’s mom said sweetly after she had threatened them with an extensive list of Dos and Don’ts. “Would you like me to hire a party planner?”
“No,” Sehun had replied but Luhan’s “Oh you’re too kind!” was louder and more enthusiastic. This was about a month or so ago.
“It’s not like we’re going to change anything,” Luhan said to his apprehensive but curious audience. “But since we’ve already planned on having a black light graffiti theme, we can easily add in glowsticks.” He waited for a reaction but none came. Luhan closed his eyes so they won’t see him rolling them in irritation.
“We can make up a bogus game where we handcuff our guests to each other with glowsticks. The couple or group with intact handcuffs by the end of the night is the winner,” Luhan explained.
Sehun snorted in derision. “We’re going to get too drunk to check though.”
“That’s why I said it’s bogus! As in, not real. God, why do I even try?” Luhan hissed. He snapped his fingers in Sehun’s face. “Hey, no pouting, you know I didn’t mean it.” Sehun pushed his bottom lip further and muttered unintelligibly.
Baekhyun remained unconvinced. “And how is this a better plan than locking them in a closet?”
Minseok could tell that Luhan’s patience was wearing thin. This was why he’d rather not let Luhan hang out with their juniors for an extended period of time. If only Luhan would just listen to him.
“Alcohol. Darkness. EDM. Close proximity. Jongin’s competitiveness. Maybe drugs but I hope not,” Luhan said through gritted teeth.
There was a collective ‘Ooh’ in response before the group started to chatter excitedly about the upcoming party. “Don’t stress yourself over this,” Minseok said gently as he massaged the back of Luhan’s neck.
Luhan let himself melt under his ministrations. “You’re right. They’re kids. Kids are fun. I want to have fun.”
“Ergo, you want to have kids.”
Luhan tittered and playfully slapped his hands on Minseok a few times before burying his face in his boyfriend’s hoodie. “You dork.”
“I love you too.” Minseok rested his chin on Luhan’s head and watched fondly as his friends gradually got noisier. Messing around with them on a regular basis was fun, but that was only because Minseok and Luhan saw them as little brothers more than equals.
On the day of the party, all eleven of the boys turned up early to help with the preparations. Everyone was wearing the t-shirts bought specifically for the night, except Yixing who had put on a well-worn, low-necked tee. “It’s white,” Yixing said defensively.
Luhan held himself back from exploding. “I know you didn’t want to waste a perfectly good albeit old shirt. In fact, I’m very sure it has served you well over the years. But not only does it mean we have one extra shirt, it also means that you’re wearing something you usually wear to sleep at my birthday party.”
Sehun huffed exaggeratedly. “And Hunnie’s,” Luhan added hastily.
Yixing was unperturbed by Luhan’s obvious annoyance. “I wear it for other things too.”
“I give up.” Luhan pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly. They were gathered around the living room with Luhan facing the only one standing, holding a clipboard and a pen. There wasn’t much to do since the party planner had already organized the decorations, soundproofing and catering.
“But we’re going to need a couple of guys to hand out the shirts and another two for the highlighters and most importantly,” Luhan looked meaningfully at his co-conspirators, “Three guys to cuff the guests.
“Three. ‘Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out,’” Luhan quoted. The ones who got the reference groaned at his lameness. The original Beagle Line groaned for an entirely different reason.
Luhan frowned at the lackluster response, but got over it quickly. “Close off time is at 10pm, so you guys can go ahead and get shit-faced. Write the instructions on the walls for the stragglers.
“By the way, we promised Sehun’s parents that there won’t be any underaged drinking going on. So everyone’s going to have to show their IDs to those guys over there if they want drinks,” Luhan said, gesturing his head towards the bartenders they hired for the evening who were prepping up behind the bar. There was a conspicuous handwritten sign that read I.D. OR STAY SOBER on the counter.
Luhan then smiled wolfishly. “But if you babies are smart enough to not drown in your own vomit or whatever, go wild. This is a party after all and drinks are free-flowed.”
Luhan singled out Junmyeon and Yixing with his fingers. “I normally respect your decision to have only one or two drinks whenever we drink, but this is my night so loosen up in celebration of me,” he said sternly. Sehun cleared his throat. “And Hunnie,” Luhan amended again.
“Any questions?” Luhan asked in the way that meant he wouldn’t answer them anyway. “Good, let’s pair up and stuff. I’ll be with Sehun since we’re the guests of honor.”
After almost an hour of obediently listening to Luhan order them around, the boys expended their restless energy in fighting over their partners for the night.
“Tao, you should be with Baekhyun,” Sehun said. “You guys would make a hilarious combo.”
“What do you know about me?” Zitao scoffed, unimpressed. He rolled his eyes in Sehun’s fashion and turned to Junmyeon. Zitao’s default homicidal expression melted into a disturbingly sunny smile that would look perfectly normal on a 5 year old. “I was planning to be with Junmyeon-hyung.”
Junmyeon’s face lit up like the sun. “Aw Tao, you’re so loyal to your hyung!”
“On second thought... How about it, Baekhyun-hyung?”
Baekhyun’s fluttered his eyelashes coyly. “Sorry, I don’t think you can handle me when I’m sober, let alone drunk.”
“I can pair up with you, hyung!” Jongdae said playfully but the entire room except Junmyeon knew he was being deadly serious.
“Thanks Jongdae! But wouldn’t you rather be with Baekhyun and Chanyeol?”
Luhan jumped at the opportunity while Jongdae gaped stupidly at Junmyeon and everyone else heaved an internal sigh. “Yes Jongdae,” he simpered. “Wouldn’t you rather be with Baekhyun and Chanyeol?”
“It’s not that~” Jongdae replied cheerfully as if he didn’t just get indirectly rejected and have it rubbed in his face. “I don’t want to get in between them and Kyungsoo when they’re drunk.”
Kyungsoo’s eyes bulged even more than it normally did. “Did something unpleasant happen before?” Jongdae laughed dismissively but his eyes had a faraway look to them like he was recalling a painful memory.
Minseok threw an arm around Jongdae and noogied him. “I’ll pair with you Jongdae-yah. Won’t it be nice? Mentor and mentee together again. You and me, and Zitao with Junmyeon.”
“Ok fine. So that leaves the two that’s been keeping quiet the whole time. It’s like you guys want to be together,” Luhan said accusingly to a dopely smiling Yixing.
“Are you feeling alright, Jongin?” Junmyeon pinched Jongin’s cheeks until they reddened. “You normally get very excited about these things.”
Jongin squirmed away. “I’m not a kid, hyung. And I’m okay with whoever. Really.”
Luhan’s eyes glimmered. “Haha, that sounds like something Yixing would say,” he said without malice. “Right?” He nudged Yixing with his elbow. Yixing snapped out of his stupor and looked around in puzzlement.
“Huh? Me? Well,” he scratched the back of his neck. “I am actually okay with anyone, though. I don’t really care about winning or losing.”
“Don’t be like that, hyung!” Jongin frowned in dissatisfaction. “If you’re playing a game, you should go all out!”
Baekhyun and Chanyeol cackled and pointed at each other. “Jong-in it to win it,” they said in synch.
“Let’s just get this party started,” Jongin groused and touched the tip of his ears self-consciously.
With Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo in charge of cuffing the guests, Zitao and Junmyeon handing out the highlighters, and Minseok and Jongdae giving out white t-shirts to the guests, Yixing and Jongin were left with nothing to do but join the party.
“Jongin-ah!” Jongin tilted his head downwards so Yixing wouldn’t have to shout himself hoarse over the music. “You wanna get a drink? Not alcohol don’t worry, just something to cool you down. You’re looking a little flushed.”
Jongin stared at Yixing’s earnest face as he contemplated how to reply. ‘Oh, I feel kinda hot right now because our arms keep brushing each other, hyung. That’s all,’ was what Jongin really wanted to say but he didn’t trust himself to not stutter. Better if he settled with a non-committal response.
“If you want to, hyung,” he said, his lips brushing the shell of Yixing’s ear. Not for the first time, Jongin marveled at at how perfectly their bodies aligned. Sure, Jongin had a bad habit of slouching, but if it positioned his mouth on the same level with Yixing’s ears, Jongin wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
To Jongin’s disappointment, Yixing seemed completely unfazed by the intimacy. “Okay, stay close to me alright? We don’t want the glowsticks to snap. Jongdae told me that they’re pretty flimsy because they bought the cheap ones.
The bar was already packed by the time they weaved their way through the crowd. Yixing cupped his free hand around his mouth. “I’ll get the drinks, you stay here.”
“Wait, hyung!” Jongin grabbed a handful of Yixing’s shirt. He gestured with his head at their linked hands. “Stay close, remember?” Jongin tried to say as disinterestedly as he could so it wouldn’t be too obvious that his eyes kept straying towards Yixing’s happy trail.
“Just testing you,” Yixing said after staring at Jongin’s face blankly for a second or two.
Jongin barked out a laugh but tried to cover it with his fist. “Sure you were.” He pulled out a highlighter from his jeans pocket and wrote ‘dumb :P’ across Yixing’s chest. Yixing grabbed the highlighter and scrawled ‘DUMBER’ in loopy handwriting.
“We match!”
“Always so positive.” It might have sounded sarcastic to anyone who didn’t know Yixing well, but Jongin was not one of those people. He was good at reading in between the lines that protected the real Yixing from the world. And he was getting better every day.
While nursing their malt beers against a wall (non-alcoholic, peach-flavored for Yixing, strawberry for Jongin), they deflected the judgmental looks they were getting over their choice of drinks by asking passer bys if they could write on their shirts (and bikinis for some of the girls).
It became a contest for both of them to see who could write the most flattering and cheesiest pickup lines. When that lost its novelty, Yixing started doodling cutesy pictures in the gaps between ‘xoxo’s and ‘keep it real chocolate milk boy/caramel chocolate/puppy nini <3 <3’s.
The only reason Jongin kept catching Yixing sneaking glances at him was because he himself was staring unabashedly. The few times Yixing looked away, either to watch people dancing or to continue doodling on his shirt, he would half-smirk at a joke only he knew. Once, when their eyes met, Yixing slowly ran his tongue over his plump bottom lip and bit it.
Even with a thin upper lip Yixing was an excellent kisser. Or maybe precisely because of it, Jongin will never know because he was always too busy losing himself in their kisses, and he was desperate for one now. It took all of Jongin’s self-control to not slide down the wall and whine at Yixing for being such a tease. He decided that two could play the game and asked Yixing to dance with him.
On the pretense that they should be careful with the glowsticks handcuff, Jongin pressed himself into Yixing. Jongin’s moves that night were nothing that befitted a dance major. He didn’t care though, because he was too focused on Yixing’s collarbones. Yixing’s penchant for wearing low neck shirts would one day be the death of him, Jongin mused.
At first, Yixing reciprocated by moving in synch with Jongin so they would have a semblance of rhythm. He even dared to buck his hips up against Jongin’s, eliciting a choked groan that could have come from either of them. But when Jongin started to lightly trace his fingernails from the back of Yixing’s ear, down to his neck and over his clavicles, Yixing let out a shaky gasp and stepped away.
“Let’s get another drink and go outside!” he yelled out louder than necessary. “It’s too hot in here!”
After the customary griping about how the grass was wet and they would have wet patches on their asses, Jongin and Yixing made themselves comfortable and stared up at the polluted Seoul sky. Jongin was still holding onto his fruit-flavored-no-alcohol-beer but Yixing now had four bottles of soju he had uncharacteristically heckled the bartender from clutched protectively to his chest. It was an interesting but surreal scene to watch.
(“What do you mean you’re not handing over the tequila? Give me a bottle of vodka then. FINE! HOW ABOUT I TAKE SOME GODDAMN CLASSIC SOJU? Four bottles for your cheek.
“No, I don’t want any fancy beers. You denied me the pleasure of hard liquor so I’m gonna get back at you. By getting smashed slowly but effectively.
“Dude, do I look like I’m gonna drink them by shots? Just give me the goddamn bottles, fucking please and thank you.”)
Yixing closed his eyes and leaned back with his hands behind him when the night wind gently blew at their faces. “Come home with me for Chinese New Year.” Yixing had said it so quietly that Jongin thought he had imagined it. “If I can’t come home with you for Chuseok this year, then do this for me,” he mumbled around the lip of his already-half-empty bottle.
Jongin swished around the beer in his mouth to stall for time. He knew he wasn’t being fair, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit glad when Yixing changed the subject.
“What’s the point of this game anyway?” he gestured at their cuffed wrists.
Jongin shrugged almost thoughtlessly. “Dunno. But I’m the type who will hold on and never give up. It’s all or nothing for me.” He could hear Yixing’s breath hitch and felt sorry for what was he was about to say next.
“I don’t know why games just rile me up so much. Why can’t I be this motivated for my studies?” Why can’t I be like this with you? Jongin asked himself.
He noticed that Yixing had been silently chugging down his second bottle while he was self-reflecting. But to Yixing’s credit, he humored Jongin. “You’re pretty dedicated to dance even outside of classes. That should count as your studies.”
Jongin waited for a few beats before responding so that Yixing would look at him. He schooled his face into his most serious and sincerest expression. “I admire you too, hyung.”
“Who said anything about admiration?” Yixing scoffed. “Huh?” He flicked Jongin’s forehead and snorted.
“I don’t know man.” Even though Jongin’s voice was light, his heart was anything but. “I’m pretty sure I picked up some awe in your voice just now.”
“Don’t let it get to your head brat,” Yixing said with feeling and got up abruptly. Immediately after, his eyes went as wide as saucers and his mouth formed a slightly elongated ‘O’. Their handcuff had snapped apart with a loud ‘pop’ and startled Jongin from his seat.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” Yixing moaned pitifully but Jongin could nothing but giggle from both nerves and relief. It was as though the tension between them snapped just like the glowsticks.
“It’s okay, hyung. Hell, everyone’s pretty much too drunk to check the winners anyway.”
Yixing shook his head. “Naw, I really do feel bad. Especially after that winning speech of yours.” He fiddled around with the plastic ends of the glowsticks and successfully connected them again after some struggle.
Yixing’s triumphant cheer spurred Jongin to throw caution into the cold wind and give him a chaste kiss. Yixing blinked a few times in shock before leaning in to lock their lips together. Their handcuffs broke apart again as Yixing climbed into Jongin’s lap. Yixing threw his hands up and tugged desperately at tufts of Jongin’s soft hair.
In a surprising show of dominance, Jongin took control of the kiss and forced them to slow down their pace. Yixing swayed in time as Jongin rocked his body slowly against Yixing’s. “Strawberry was a good choice,” Yixing mumbled absently in between sucking Jongin’s tongue and licking into his mouth.
“You’re not mad anymore?” Jongin said almost dizzily when they parted for air. He subconsciously ran his hand under Yixing’s shirt. Jongin felt a slight clenching in his chest when Yixing squirmed under his touch, but he didn’t stop running his hands up and down Yixing’s sides.
Yixing’s eyes resumed their focus as he tried to process what Jongin said. “I wasn’t mad at all,” he whispered breathlessly.
“Yes you were, you didn’t want to dance. You drank,” Jongin mentally counted by memory. “Three bottles of soju. Straight from the bottle. And by the way, you don’t drink hard liquor, where did that come from?”
Yixing huffed irritably but didn’t move away from Jongin’s lap. “I had to stop myself from eating your face in front of everyone okay? So, sorry if I was on the edge.”
Jongin shifted uncomfortably not because of Yixing’s weight or because he could feel himself hardening under the pressure of Yixing’s crotch. He just felt a tiny bit threatened and more than a bit turned on by Yixing’s pout. “Is that really all?” he said suspiciously.
“That really is all.” Jongin would love to take his word for it and continue making out with his boyfriend if it weren’t for the flicker of fear in Yixing’s eyes.
Dancing and being perpetually out of it weren’t the only common grounds they shared. They both had larger-than-life dreams and were painfully hypercritical of themselves.
Every action they made was calculated and repeated until it was perfected. It was an unspoken secret that they discovered they shared after months of silently observing the other, first out of rivalry, then out of genuine camaraderie. Jongin knew why Yixing was unhappy, because it was for the same reason he was.
Jongin pulled Yixing closer. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against the hollow where Yixing’s neck and collarbone met. “I’m sorry for keeping us a secret.”
“What?” Yixing pushed at Jongin’s shoulders so their eyes could meet. “We’re not a secret. We just...,” Yixing worried his lip as he tried to find the right word. “Don’t broadcast ourselves to the world,” he finished lamely.
Jongin smiled ruefully as he thumbed Yixing’s cheek lovingly. “Yeah, but still. I want you all to myself, but I’m not taking responsibility for it. That’s not fair to you.”
“Hey. Yixing laced their fingers together. He brought up Jongin’s hands to his lips. “I know why you want to keep it quiet. It’s okay. I’ll always be with you, even if I need to stay in the shadows,” he whispered against Jongin’s knuckles.
Jongin shook his head sadly. “No,” he said stubbornly. “You belong in the spotlight.” Yixing’s eyes filled up with angry tears at his defiance, but held onto Jongin’s hands.
“I know,” Yixing whispered fiercely. “But this is my decision to make. I know I can be as many people as I need to be. And one of them will be your shadow.”
“I want the world to know about you. About us,” Jongin insisted. Because it was true. They both knew that Yixing was just pushing himself to outwardly accept their relationship when all he wanted to do was hide them forever from the world. That way, they could both pretend that Jongin was the real coward of the two, instead of accepting that it was a combined effort.
But Yixing wasn’t ready to accept the painful truth yet. “Whatever you do, just don’t pee on me,” he said with a forced smile.
“What?!” Jongin exclaimed in genuine bafflement.
Yixing nuzzled his nose against Jongin’s. “You don’t need to mark what’s already yours.” This time, his smile was softer, gentler.
They bumped their foreheads together as if by signal. “Wanna get out of here?” Jongin whispered.
“I’ve been waiting the entire night for you to say that.”
*
Deception #3 (?)
“It’s almost summer,” Baekhyun mourned. “And we haven’t planned anything for the break.”
They were at the student lounge and were hogging the spaciest area. It was rare for them to get together all at once except for special occasions like birthday celebrations, but somehow everyone was present for the impromptu study session. “The stars aligned nicely for us,” Zitao had remarked. Only Sehun knew if he was being serious or was just fucking around with them.
“Please focus on your exams first, Baekhyun,” Junmyeon said gently but firmly.
Baekhyun ignored him. “Let’s all go to the beach. Or the mountains. Yixing-hyung, you haven’t been to my halmoni’s house, right?”
Yixing was about to answer but shut his mouth with an audible click of his teeth when Chanyeol grumpily said, “I haven’t been to your halmoni’s house.”
Zitao jumped to his feet. “Namsan Tower. We have to go to Namsan Tower!”
“You’ve been there 4 freaking times!” Sehun slapped his ass with a rolled up paper.
“And you went twice. Both times with different chicks,” Zitao retorted scathingly.
“And I keep telling you, it wasn’t me! Honestly, I don’t know where you got the idea that I wrote lovey dovey messages on those stupid padlocks. Let it go, will you?” Sehun got up in disgust and went to sit with Luhan and Minseok.
The postgrads didn’t even notice when Sehun squeezed in between them. They only had eyes for their laptops and were zealously smashing their keyboards to a premature death.
Kyungsoo caught Baekhyun’s eyes and gave him a ‘son-I’m-disappointed-in-you’ look before going back to his book.
“Anyway... What do the beach and the mountains have in common?” Baekhyun said almost too cheerfully, a large grin plastered on his face. “They’re great for camping out! We can carpool there and sleep in tents. Outdoors! The wilderness! Chanyeol’s so excited about this that he’s been looking at campsites for weeks.”
“Haven’t you guys been studying?” Junmyeon asked worriedly.
Baekhyun didn’t bother to spare him a glance. “Yixing-hyung, do you have anyone you want to partner up with?” he said slyly.
“Stop putting Yixing-hyung on the spot,” Jongdae growled. Yixing threw him an appreciative smile.
“By the way, hyung.” Jongin nudged Yixing’s side with an elbow. “My parents gave me the green light to go home with you next Chinese New Year. And they invited you over this Chuseok.”
Everyone’s eyebrows, including Yixing’s, shot up to their hairlines. “A-are you serious?” Yixing stammered.
“Yeah.” Jongin shrugged his shoulders casually, but his face was a delightful shade of maroon.
“When was this?” Baekhyun said in scandalized whisper.
Jongin shrugged again and scratched behind his ear. “I dunno, a few weeks back?” he mumbled. “I mean, we gotta plan this stuff early you know. Flight tickets are expensive and I need to make sure I don’t miss out too many classes.”
Junmyeon beamed proudly. “That’s my boy. Learning to set your priorities straight all on your own. You’re growing up!” Jongin was about to scowl at his cousin when someone made a loud, grating noise like a dying cat.
“HOLD THE FUCK UP. YOU GUYS ARE CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THIS?” Jongdae screeched.
“It’s just visiting a friend’s hou - ” Yixing said nervously but was cut off when Jongin wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Jongin pulled Yixing towards him so they were back-to-chest.
“We’ve been dating for a while now,” Jongin announced with a challenging glare. “And it’s about time we get to know each other’s families.”
“Fuck this shit, I’m out.” Chanyeol slammed his laptop shut loudly. He picked up his messenger bag and stomped away.
Baekhyun clutched his head and made a sound like a wounded animal. “Sehun,” he whimpered. “Did you know all along?”
“Yeah?”
“You little bitch!” Baekhyun giggled hysterically.
Jongdae was infinitely less impressed. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he grounded out between gritted teeth.
Sehun mirrored Jongin’s signature shrug except he did it with more finesse. “You didn’t ask.”
“Yes,” Jongdae hissed. “Yes, we did!”
Sehun rolled up his eyes to the high heavens. “You didn’t ask the right questions.”
“Then why did you play along?” Baekhyun demanded. “Did you think it was funny?”
“Um, yeah? Besides, I was getting tired of the UST whenever we have practice. They make me feel like a voyeur.”
Baekhyun stood up and tottered unsteadily. “I’m gonna go back to my dorm and maybe rethink my life choices.”
“Or you could study for your next paper,” Junmyeon supplied helpfully. Baekhyun flipped him the bird. “Fuck you, Kim. Fuck you.”
“Wait, Baek!” Jongdae shot out his hand and grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist. “Don’t leave! Remember the ultimate goal.”
Junmyeon looked sceptically at Jongdae. “Ultimate goal? What could be more important than exams at this juncture?” Jongdae had never wanted to die this much before.
Jongin stood up and shouldered both his and Yixing’s backpacks. “Let’s get out of here,” he said and stretched out his hand to pull Yixing up. “Thought you’d never asked.” Yixing grinned happily and met Jongin’s lips halfway.
Minseok stopped typing and turned looked up at Jongdae. “Maybe you should just give up,” he said as sympathetically as he could with bleary eyes and a scratchy voice.
Luhan shushed Minseok with a finger on his lips. “No babe, don’t. His agony is like Red Bull to me. Deadline’s today.”
“It’s okay Junmyeon-hyung,” Zitao whispered behind his hand to Junmyeon who was looking back and forth between everyone for an explanation. “It’s better to not get involved in this.”
I have the shittiest group of friends, Jongdae thought as he sunk back into the couch bonelessly. Fuck.
By: Anonymous until reveals
Title: Dastardly Deceptions
Rating: PG-13
Length: 8789
Notes:Dear seekingsugar, I had a bit too much fun with this, so I'm so sorry if I tweaked your prompt a bit too much (maybe). I do hope you like it though! Thanks to P for always being my alpha reader, R for struggling through this with me, and my betas who don't even read EXO fanfics.
P.S. I don't hate Jongdae, honest.
Warnings: The Beagle Line, underage drinking, unrequited love
Summary: The Beagle Line thinks that it's an awful shame that Jongin and Yixing only interact within the context of their friends and work hard to rectify this. Alternatively: Jongdae wants to get into Junmyeon's pants and the only way to do this is through Junmyeon's cousin, Jongin.
The practice of affectionately calling your best friends demeaning names is not uncommon in any society. However, when Jongin dubbed Jongdae, Baekhyun and Chanyeol as the Beagle Line due to their likeness to the actual dog breed (“They’ll make you laugh, but that's only when they're not making you cry because of their naughtiness”), it was more of a factual statement. Nevertheless, the nickname stuck because anything sounds better than ‘The Three Stooges’.
Soon after its formation, Sehun gets inducted into the Beagle Line. During his first few months in university, Sehun was frequently invited to hang out with the motley crew by his mentor, Luhan.
It took some time for him to warm up to his hyungs, especially when they treated him like a baby, but when he finally did, he dropped the aloof act and showed them his true colors. In Luhan’s words, he went from a “cute and obedient dongsaeng” to an “obnoxiously bratty, brat brat BRAT”.
For Kim Jongdae, self-elected Captain of the Beagle Line, Sehun had pretty much fulfilled all the membership criteria for their little club with that alone.
“Now that our lovely Sehunnie is a full-fledged Beagle, it really feels like we’re a family,” Jongdae said one day during lunch. He looked around the table and was disappointed to see his friends more interested in their food than listening to his upcoming speech.
“Pay attention!” he barked and roughly kicked Baekhyun’s chair. Chanyeol hurriedly caught Baekhyun’s chair before it tipped over, but not before the cafeteria was filled with an ear-piercing shriek as the metal legs dragged across the linoleum.
“Dude, don’t do that!” he scolded and flipped his middle finger at Jongdae. Baekhyun on the other hand was too preoccupied with the piece of sandwich lodged in his windpipe.
Not at all concerned with the wellbeing of his hyung, Sehun went back to shoveling pasta in his mouth. “I can’t believe you actually yapped, J.D.,” he said in between bites.
By that time, Baekhyun had managed to cough out the potential murder weapon with the help of Chanyeol’s unforgiving slaps on the back (courtesy of his large hands).
“Well Sehun, that is what bitches are normally expected to do,” Baekhyun sneered. The tears in his eyes somewhat ruined the intended effect and only made Jongdae smile at him sweetly.
“Damn, you’re still alive,” he said before meeting with a faceful of fries.
“What do you want, J.D.?” Baekhyun was getting exasperated. The table started to shake a bit as one of Jongdae’s legs started jittering.
“You know I think of you guys like family, right?” he said in a small voice.
Chanyeol threw him an uneasy glance. “Jongdae, Is there something you want to tell us?” he said quietly, reaching a hand under the table to steady Jongdae’s leg.
Jongdae looked around the cafeteria nervously and took out a piece of paper and a pen. The other three boys bent their heads over the piece of paper after Jongdae slid it towards them. His messy scrawl read: ‘I CAN’T GET THROUGH TO JUNMYEON-HYUNG!!’
There was a collective groan. “This again?” Baekhyun said, not bothering to tone down the snide in his voice.
“I thought if I was nice to Sehun, hyung might notice me more,” Jongdae explained with a pathetic whine.
“Wow, thanks,” Sehun interjected with his signature eyeroll.
“Shut up, kid! He pays more attention to you than he does me. I wish I was the youngest,” Jongdae wailed, feeling doubly sorry for himself.
Chanyeol grabbed the paper and pen from Jongdae and flipped it to a fresh page. “Time to change tactics,” he mumbled as he uncapped the pen with his teeth and spat the cap out. He then rummaged through his pencil case and took out some colored pens. With the kind of speed that guarantees chicken scratch results, Chanyeol sketched out a mind map of their group of friends.
(“Are his eyes on fire?” Sehun whispered. “Yes,” Baekhyun said with a long-suffering sigh. “There’s no stopping him when he enters ‘The Zone’.”)
Chanyeol slammed his orange pen onto the table and let out a satisfied grunt. He held up the paper and grinned toothily. “Spot the difference.”
Jongdae made a face. “You drew a broken heart for me and Junmyeon-hyung.”
Baekhyun stole Jongdae’s pen and threw it at his face. “You are BEYOND help!”
The pen bounced off Jongdae’s nose and clattered onto the floor. “Okay, okay I was just kidding, jeez.” Jongdae stuck his tongue out at Baekhyun as he touched his nose gingerly. “It hurts....”
(“What a baby,” Sehun muttered.)
Chanyeol flapped the piece of paper in front of their faces. “Wander your eyes back to this, my brethren,” he said dramatically.
(“Why is he talking like that?” Sehun muttered.)
Chanyeol switched his voice from the one he often used for drama recitals to the one he normally used for presentations. “If you look carefully at the diagram, you’ll find that Kim Jongin and Zhang Yixing are the only ones not connected by a pink heart. Broken or otherwise.”
“Hey!” Everyone at the table ignored Jongdae.
“In any wide circle of friends,” Chanyeol continued, “There are always going to be people who will remain at the very least, ‘a friend of a friend’ and at best, ‘acquaintances’. I’ve noticed that they only talk to each other when someone else is with them. Don’t you guys think so?”
There was an almost unanimous hum of assent from the audience. Sehun was the only who just shrugged, but then again, that was his default reaction to almost anything.
“Now if we were to look at how everyone relates to each other....” Chanyeol trailed off as he added some scribbles onto the paper with a blue pen. Once he was done, he twirled the paper 180° to present it to the peanut gallery again.
“Oh my god, Chanyeol! I DO NOT NEED OR EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!”
“What the fuck do you mean by ‘random guy’?!”
“This is better than some of the stuff in your design portfolio. Have some shame.”
“ARGH. MISSING. THE. POINT,” Chanyeol snarled, almost tearing his hair out in frustration. “Look.” Chanyeol jabbed his finger at ‘Jongin’. “You attack the minion first,” he said and traced the line to ‘KJM’, “Before you tackle the final boss!
“You’ve been going about this whole ‘Senpai Notice Me’ all wrong the whole fucking time.”
Jongdae groaned into his hands. “Can you not?”
“None of your previous ideas got you into his pants did they?” Chanyeol challenged dangerously.
“So what’s your plan to help ‘J’ get the ‘D’?” Baekhyun said casually as he looked over the diagram.
“More importantly, how does hooking Jongin up with Yixing-hyung help ‘J’ get the ‘D’?” Sehun asked over Jongdae’s loud keening.
Chanyeol shrugged distractedly. “I honestly don’t know,” he admitted. “I just thought it would be fun if all of us are fucking each other except J.D. and Junmyeon-hyung.”
“I hope Kyungsoo castrates you and fucks you with your own dick,” Jongdae hissed.
Chanyeol spared him a split-second glance. “Ew, kinky. Anyway,” he looked back at his diagram and screwed his expression into one of concentration. “We need to come up with a game plan. Let’s call them ‘Deceptions’ because Inception was super cool but the name won’t fit.”
“Yeah, I mean, we gotta know our limits,” Baekhyun quipped sarcastically.
“Exactly!” Chanyeol pointed his pen at Baekhyun in agreement. He then rested his chin on his palm and poked Sehun’s nose with the pen. “As Target #1’s best friend, do you know if Jongin shares any classes with Yixing-hyung?”
“Just dance practice I think,” Sehun said with a noncommittal shrug. “But that’s for club because Jongin’s a dance junkie. Yixing-hyung’s not even in our programme.”
“Then why are you in the club?”
“I’m Jongin’s life force.”
“Translation: You got lonely and Luhan-hyung’s too busy,” Jongdae scoffed.
“I won’t deny that,” Sehun said casually. “Speaking of which, why don’t we get Luhan-hyung to bring Yixing to a soccer game?”
“Yixing-hyung prefers basketball.”
“I did not know that,” Sehun replied at the same time Chanyeol muttered “Let’s not involve Luhan-hyung or Minseok-hyung in this,” under his breath.
Jongdae pretended not to hear Chanyeol although he wholeheartedly agreed with him. “He’s really good. You should watch him play streetball.”
Baekhyun held a hand to his forehead as if he was seized by a migraine.“I worry that none of you will graduate before the age of 30. The aim,” he said slowly and enunciating every word clearly, “Is to get Jongin and Yixing-hyung alone. Away from other people so they’d talk to each other.”
He motioned Chanyeol to hand him the diagram and flipped it over to the page with Jongdae’s confession. As he wrote, Chanyeol read the words aloud.
“Deception #1: Get Jongin and Yixing to bump into each other at the grocery store.”
Jongdae who had been quietly nursing his wounds objected to the idea. “I don’t trust Yixing-hyung with the groceries! He always forgets something. The last time it was his wallet.”
“Junmyeon-hyung’s in charge of the shopping in our house,” Sehun added. Unlike the rest who either stayed in dorms or commuted from home, Sehun, Jongin, Junmyeon, and Minseok shared an apartment at the edge of the campus.
Jongdae’s eyes lit up with hope. “Then can’t we just focus on me and Junmyeon-hyung instead?”
“Deception #1: Redux,” Chanyeol read out as Baekhyun crossed out the previous line and wrote a new one.
“You guys seriously need to stop ignoring me. I am your leader!”
After much bickering, it was agreed that they would set Jongin and Yixing up on a coffee date. With the exam season less than 3 months away, they would bait the two with a study group session at a quaint little hipster cafe.
What their victims wouldn’t know was that no one else would turn up but them. The cozy ambience coupled with the shared anger of being ditched by friends was a surefire way to heat things up.
“How are we gonna know if the plan’s a success if no one else’s there?” Sehun pointed out. There was the briefest of silences before Chanyeol suggested that they go to the cafe incognito.
Baekhyun laughed raucously. “We’re called Beagles for a good reason, Chanyeol-ah!”
In the end, they bribed Kyungsoo to be their representative or in Baekhyun’s words: ‘chaperone so things don’t get too dirty too fast’. It earned him a quick punch to the gut, but Jongdae counted it as foreplay rather than collateral damage.
*
Deception #1 (Redux)
On the day of the ‘date’, all the role-players were present thanks to Sehun’s and Jongdae’s ‘cunning’ deceptions. What the rest didn’t know was that Sehun literally went down on his knees and begged Jongin to help him with a paper (because Jongin was sick of Sehun copying off of him all the time). And on Yixing’s side, he demanded an aegyo performance which Jongdae happily gave but would never reenact much less admit to performing.
Everything was going smoothly. There was even a sudden heavy downpour that left their victims no choice but to huddle in the warm cafe for hours.
The only downside though, was entirely due to The Beagles’ oversight. They had conveniently forgotten to take into account Kyungsoo’s no-nonsense attitude towards his studies.
“Put your phones on silent and leave it here,” he instructed Yixing when he showed up drenched, tapping a finger on the center of the wooden table. Jongin had arrived earlier and while he managed to escape the rain, his phone too was held hostage.
“Jongdae’s not here yet?” Yixing said curiously. “I thought I was late.”
“You are, but we came here straight from Vocal Ensemble. About an hour in he started fidgeting so much I told him to go home and study by himself next time,” Kyungsoo lied easily.
“Typical!” Yixing said with an exasperated huff. His eyes strayed towards Jongin’s chocolate frap and gave an involuntary shudder. “I need something hot,” he mumbled distractedly, all annoyance forgotten. As Yixing trailed water towards the counter, Jongin turned to Kyungsoo with his straw in between his lips.
“Should we tell him no one else is coming?” Just ten minutes ago, Sehun had texted him saying that he wouldn’t be coming because he didn’t ‘feel like doing anything productive today, bro’. Their conversation immediately took an ugly turn as they exchanged curses and threats.
“He probably doesn’t care.” Kyungsoo opened his daily planner and penned in something that looked suspiciously like ‘Search and destroy,’ under the 6pm column. A chill ran down his spine when Jongin surreptitiously glanced at his watch and noticed that it was 5.30pm.
Yixing scurried back with a large hot chocolate in hand and took the seat beside Kyungsoo and across from Jongin.
“Careful not to spill it, hyung,” Jongin fretted and moved their belongings around in case the worst happens. “Hyung, don’t swirl it around, you’re going to hurt yourself!”
Kyungsoo gave thanks to Jesus for his natural poker face because watching an overly confident Yixing failing to assure a nervous Jongin was enough to melt his stone cold heart.
“Such a worrier,” Yixing teased, a playful grin on his face.
Jongin glared daggers at him. “See if I care when you get scalded.”
“Kyungsoo, what’s ‘scalded’?” Yixing asked innocently. Jongin’s face soured even further as Kyungsoo explained the word in Mandarin.
“Ah, thank you Kyungsoo. Scalded. Scal-ded,” Yixing said slowly, getting used to the word.
“Hyung, you better dry off or you’ll catch a cold,” Jongin said sulkily. “And we should really get to studying.”
Kyungsoo nodded furiously and patted Jongin on the back. “That’s right, that’s right. Before we start, I want to take a look at your study plans individually,” he said as he looked back and forth between Yixing and Jongin. “We don’t want to waste the day any more than we already have.” His comically wide eyes failed to diminish his drill sergeant persona.
“My position as the sunbae is being threatened,” Yixing joked. He grabbed a fresh towel from his duffel bag and dried out his hair.
Kyungsoo threw him a smile. “Sorry, hyung. Force of habit.”
“First year mentor?” Yixing guessed.
“Yep.” Kyungsoo’s smile widened. “Junmyeon-hyung was my mentor back in my freshman year and he helped me out a lot. He told me that the best way to repay him was to pay it forward so here I am.”
Yixing shook his head and gave a mock salute. “Mad respect my man. I could never do it,” he said, clasping Kyungsoo’s small hand in his. The praise and casual skinship left a dusting of light pink on Kyungsoo’s plump cheeks.
Jongin had kept quiet during the entire exchange but decided then and there to grab his textbooks from his backpack and slam them on the table. He cleared his throat almost aggressively. “What’s a study plan, hyung? I might need to make one since my grades are slipping.”
Yixing and Kyungsoo raised their eyebrows, Yixing in amusement and Kyungsoo in bewilderment. “I helped you make yours back in fall, Jongin. Did you lose it?” Yixing bit back a laugh at seeing Jongin’s horrified reaction to a hurt and confused Kyungsoo.
The three quickly settled down after Jongin hastily bullshitted his way out of the hole he dug himself in. Kyungsoo was initially put out that Yixing didn’t have a study plan but being a final year student, his material was too advanced for either juniors to comprehend so he only referred to them for opinions and ideas rather than advice.
If anything, Jongin was the only one who benefitted the most from the session since Yixing and Kyungsoo had already completed all of their compulsory modules. They gave him tips not just for studying, but also the best lecturers and seniors to approach for extra help.
6pm on the dot, Kyungsoo’s phone buzzed and Jongdae’s mug in all his cat got the canary glory appeared on the screen. Fuck, Kyungsoo sighed internally. That’s right, I’m meant to leave them alone. “Excuse me, I need to take this call,” Kyungsoo said icily.
“Tell Jongdae to find somewhere else to sleep tonight,” Yixing said without looking up from his notes. Kyungsoo snorted in amusement. “I’ll pass on the message.”
Kyungsoo stood outside of the coffee shop but away from the pelting rain and held his phone a few centimeters away from his ear. “Hey bud!” Jongdae’s obnoxiously loud voice crackled through the speaker. “What’s the status?”
“I’m a bit behind on my study goals today no thanks to you.”
“What?” Jongdae asked in confusion.
“I really don’t appreciate having my revision time interrupted, especially midway.”
“Kyungsoo, if it really matters that much to you, I can go to the library with you after this and keep you company. And then you can tell me how it all went.”
Kyungsoo entertained the thought for about 0.2 seconds. “Nah, I’ll get more done with Junmyeon-hyung.”
“Can I come along?” Jongdae asked shamelessly. “I mean, well. I still need a status update,” he backtracked.
“I’ll give it to you now. I’m confident that both Yixing-hyung and Jongin will get good, if not excellent, grades this semester if they keep up what they’re currently doing. A study session is a pretty stupid idea considering that neither of them actually needs help with their studies.
“By the way, Yixing-hyung told me to tell you not to come back to your room tonight, but I don’t think it’s because he’s gonna bring Jongin over.” But I could be wrong, Kyungsoo thought wryly.
The line on the other end was quiet for a while. Kyungsoo wondered if he went too far. He was about to apologize for messing around with him when Jongdae chirped a “Thanks for the feedback, Soo!”
“What?” It was Kyungsoo’s turn to feel confused.
“Well, the whole thing was a stupid idea to start with but I’m not giving up. So I’ll think about it harder with the other boys. To be honest, I don’t really think this is gonna help me with Junmyeon-hyung, but it’s kinda fun.”
“Jongdae - ”
“Hope you reach your study goals today! Tell Junmyeon-hyung I said hi, yeah? I’ll talk to Yixing-hyung myself. He must be pretty mad if he’s kicking me out. Thanks again Soo~”
The line went dead and Kyungsoo stared dumbly at his phone. “What just happened?” He shook himself out of the stupor and went back to the table and was greeted with the sight of Yixing and Jongin laughing over a joke.
Kyungsoo cleared his throat and pulled an irritated face. “Sorry to interrupt and leave you guys hanging, but I’m going to go beat up Jongdae.”
Jongin blinked at him and leaned over as Kyungsoo packed up his things. “Hyung,” he said in a low voice. “Be careful not to leave any evidence.” Kyungsoo stopped what he was doing to look at Jongin and burst out laughing.
“You’re cute Jongin-ah.” Kyungsoo’s lips stretched into a wide smile as he ruffled Jongin’s hair. If he felt a chill from his other side, Kyungsoo didn’t show it, but the sadistic part of his personality was pleased.
Jongin pretended that his face wasn’t flushing and played along. “You want me to walk you back? I’m worried that you’ll get kidnapped because you’re 10 times cuter than me,” he said, flashing his perfectly lined and brilliantly white teeth.
Before Kyungsoo can respond, Yixing pushed his chair back loudly and muttered something about getting another drink. Kyungsoo gave Jongin a knowing smile and received a one-shoulder-shrug in reply. “That’s not very nice, you know.”
“Take care, hyung.”
Kyungsoo left before Yixing went back to his seat and so had missed seeing Jongin grab Yixing’s hand and rub a thumb over his knuckles in apology. He had also missed hearing Yixing complain that just because he mentioned that Kyungsoo was cute that one time didn’t mean that Jongin could throw it back to his face.
In fact, seeing Jongin say “I’m sorry,” with a half-smile and chewing on his straw to stop himself from kissing away Yixing’s pout was definitely not the last thing Kyungsoo missed out on.
As Kyungsoo walked further away from the warm and dry cafe, he mentally rehearsed the conversation he planned to have with Junmyeon. His sunbae really needed to open his fucking eyes and stop being so fucking oblivious.
It was like watching Chanyeol mustering up the courage to confess to him and Baekhyun all over again. Except this time, Kyungsoo didn’t feel any satisfaction from the pitiful display of affection.
*
The next day at the cafeteria, Jongdae watched in open disgust as Chanyeol limped his way to their table, supported by a tired, but otherwise unharmed Baekhyun. “Great,” he grumbled. “I had to spend the night with Minseok-hyung and listen to him babbling on and on and on and on about ethnobiology while you spent the night fucking like rabbits.”
He shot a glare at Baekhyun. “Yeah, you better look scared, asshole,” he snapped. Before Baekhyun could open his mouth, Jongdae felt a strong grip on his shoulder. Jongdae froze like a deer in the headlights and strained his eyeballs to look down at the hand he wished he wasn’t acutely familiar with.
“For the last time, it’s ETHNO-MUSIC-OLOGY,” said a voice that could be friendly if the owner wasn’t so exhausted. Yep, Jongdae thought. It’s Minseok-hyung alright.
“And now that my hypothesis for the impact of its application in the modern generation was rejected,” the voice went on solely for the benefit of their audience because Jongdae had heard this a million times the night before. “I need to come up with an explanation for why my sample results were so shitty. So I’d really appreciate it if you don’t bring it up again.”
“There, there, Baozi,” Luhan pulled out a chair and guided Minseok to it. He gave his juniors an apologetic smile. “I had to get him out of the room or he’d hang himself,” he said in a loud whisper while smoothing out the knots in between Minseok’s shoulder blades.
“Hyung,” Jongdae said after swallowing audibly. “That is by far the scariest and most depressing thing you’ve told us about post-grad life....”
Luhan’s eyes twinkled as he laughed melodiously. “Oh, Jongdae. Whatever are you talking about?” His deceptively cherubic expression made everyone at the table except Minseok and Sehun shudder in undisguised terror.
“It’s been a while, Luhan-hyung, Minseok-hyung,” Baekhyun said meekly. “Lovely morning, isn’t it?” What Baekhyun really meant was: Please, please, spare us from your depressing stories about senior year and post-grad studies today.
“It is, but I don’t think Minseok would agree.” The original Beagle Line had to strengthen their mental fortitude because Luhan actually sounded pretty upset. Sehun on the other hand felt a pang of sympathy and offered to bring them some food.
“How about we go together instead?” Luhan suggested brightly.
“Um, yeah, sure,” Sehun said carefully. He really didn’t understand why the rest of The Beagles were frantically shaking their heads. It was even more puzzling to see them all frozen like statues when Luhan followed his curious gaze.
Even though the two most senior students out of their group of friends came back to complete their Masters, they spent less and less time with the clique, much less any other student under their age, because of their workload. Luhan however, was still regularly seen around campus because he stubbornly refused to let go of his mentorship role for reasons only the relevant administrators and Minseok knew.
Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae suspected that Luhan was actually an Evil Overlord planning on building an army of young supporters like Sehun. Unsurprisingly, this belief (read: delusion) was not shared by anyone else.
“I wish you’d hurry up and realize that your paranoia is what keeps Luhan-hyung coming back,” Kyungsoo had told them once. Also unsurprisingly, his words fell on deaf ears.
When Sehun and Luhan returned, the table was heavy with silence. Jongdae had given up on eating while Chanyeol and Baekhyun knew better than to go to class with an empty stomach. Even if it meant forcing their breakfast down their throat with a distinct possibility of throwing it all back up. “This is a miracle,” Sehun remarked.
“What is?” Luhan said with leering interest as he sat down next to Minseok. Sehun blinked a few times. He was pretty sure he caught Chanyeol flinching in his seat. “No, it’s nothing,” he decided.
“So, Jongin looked pretty happy yesterday,” Sehun announced. This time it was Jongdae who flinched. Sehun was pretty sure, but just to be safe.... “He even gave me tips for my paper. This is not normal.”
“Sehun,” Jongdae croaked but didn’t continue.
“He came back pretty late,” Sehun went on. The reaction was astounding to say the least. The entire cafeteria fell silent and looked over at their table after Jongdae shrieked in a mixture of devastation and disbelief.
Luhan locked eyes with Sehun. “What’s going on?”
Sehun had never thought that the day would come when he finds himself torn between loyalties towards two opposing parties. To be fair, it wasn’t that difficult of a decision to make. Sehun threw up his hands as though he was washing his hands of the world.
“You need all the help you can get, J.D.,” he argued. “Remember the ultimate goal,” Sehun added to shut Jongdae up.
“I hate to admit it, but Sehun’s on a different level than us,” Baekhyun whispered to Chanyeol and Jongdae while Sehun gave Luhan and Minseok the gist of their circumstances.
“Yeah, okay,” Chanyeol agreed, “But the last time Luhan-hyung looked that serious, I ended up facing the Disciplinary Committee.”
“I still can’t figure out how he tricked you into sending high fashion lingerie to all our professors and TAs,” Baekhyun said, half-impressed and half-scared shitless.
“I don’t want to think about him joining our war effort,” Jongdae whimpered. The three of them signed themselves unironically.
*
Deception #2
By a stroke of luck, Sehun’s and Luhan’s joint birthday party was coming up in a few days. Sehun’s dad had agreed to let them hold the party at their villa in Hannam-dong under the condition that their neighbors won’t need to call the cops or 119.
“Now that that’s out of the way,” Sehun’s mom said sweetly after she had threatened them with an extensive list of Dos and Don’ts. “Would you like me to hire a party planner?”
“No,” Sehun had replied but Luhan’s “Oh you’re too kind!” was louder and more enthusiastic. This was about a month or so ago.
“It’s not like we’re going to change anything,” Luhan said to his apprehensive but curious audience. “But since we’ve already planned on having a black light graffiti theme, we can easily add in glowsticks.” He waited for a reaction but none came. Luhan closed his eyes so they won’t see him rolling them in irritation.
“We can make up a bogus game where we handcuff our guests to each other with glowsticks. The couple or group with intact handcuffs by the end of the night is the winner,” Luhan explained.
Sehun snorted in derision. “We’re going to get too drunk to check though.”
“That’s why I said it’s bogus! As in, not real. God, why do I even try?” Luhan hissed. He snapped his fingers in Sehun’s face. “Hey, no pouting, you know I didn’t mean it.” Sehun pushed his bottom lip further and muttered unintelligibly.
Baekhyun remained unconvinced. “And how is this a better plan than locking them in a closet?”
Minseok could tell that Luhan’s patience was wearing thin. This was why he’d rather not let Luhan hang out with their juniors for an extended period of time. If only Luhan would just listen to him.
“Alcohol. Darkness. EDM. Close proximity. Jongin’s competitiveness. Maybe drugs but I hope not,” Luhan said through gritted teeth.
There was a collective ‘Ooh’ in response before the group started to chatter excitedly about the upcoming party. “Don’t stress yourself over this,” Minseok said gently as he massaged the back of Luhan’s neck.
Luhan let himself melt under his ministrations. “You’re right. They’re kids. Kids are fun. I want to have fun.”
“Ergo, you want to have kids.”
Luhan tittered and playfully slapped his hands on Minseok a few times before burying his face in his boyfriend’s hoodie. “You dork.”
“I love you too.” Minseok rested his chin on Luhan’s head and watched fondly as his friends gradually got noisier. Messing around with them on a regular basis was fun, but that was only because Minseok and Luhan saw them as little brothers more than equals.
On the day of the party, all eleven of the boys turned up early to help with the preparations. Everyone was wearing the t-shirts bought specifically for the night, except Yixing who had put on a well-worn, low-necked tee. “It’s white,” Yixing said defensively.
Luhan held himself back from exploding. “I know you didn’t want to waste a perfectly good albeit old shirt. In fact, I’m very sure it has served you well over the years. But not only does it mean we have one extra shirt, it also means that you’re wearing something you usually wear to sleep at my birthday party.”
Sehun huffed exaggeratedly. “And Hunnie’s,” Luhan added hastily.
Yixing was unperturbed by Luhan’s obvious annoyance. “I wear it for other things too.”
“I give up.” Luhan pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly. They were gathered around the living room with Luhan facing the only one standing, holding a clipboard and a pen. There wasn’t much to do since the party planner had already organized the decorations, soundproofing and catering.
“But we’re going to need a couple of guys to hand out the shirts and another two for the highlighters and most importantly,” Luhan looked meaningfully at his co-conspirators, “Three guys to cuff the guests.
“Three. ‘Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out,’” Luhan quoted. The ones who got the reference groaned at his lameness. The original Beagle Line groaned for an entirely different reason.
Luhan frowned at the lackluster response, but got over it quickly. “Close off time is at 10pm, so you guys can go ahead and get shit-faced. Write the instructions on the walls for the stragglers.
“By the way, we promised Sehun’s parents that there won’t be any underaged drinking going on. So everyone’s going to have to show their IDs to those guys over there if they want drinks,” Luhan said, gesturing his head towards the bartenders they hired for the evening who were prepping up behind the bar. There was a conspicuous handwritten sign that read I.D. OR STAY SOBER on the counter.
Luhan then smiled wolfishly. “But if you babies are smart enough to not drown in your own vomit or whatever, go wild. This is a party after all and drinks are free-flowed.”
Luhan singled out Junmyeon and Yixing with his fingers. “I normally respect your decision to have only one or two drinks whenever we drink, but this is my night so loosen up in celebration of me,” he said sternly. Sehun cleared his throat. “And Hunnie,” Luhan amended again.
“Any questions?” Luhan asked in the way that meant he wouldn’t answer them anyway. “Good, let’s pair up and stuff. I’ll be with Sehun since we’re the guests of honor.”
After almost an hour of obediently listening to Luhan order them around, the boys expended their restless energy in fighting over their partners for the night.
“Tao, you should be with Baekhyun,” Sehun said. “You guys would make a hilarious combo.”
“What do you know about me?” Zitao scoffed, unimpressed. He rolled his eyes in Sehun’s fashion and turned to Junmyeon. Zitao’s default homicidal expression melted into a disturbingly sunny smile that would look perfectly normal on a 5 year old. “I was planning to be with Junmyeon-hyung.”
Junmyeon’s face lit up like the sun. “Aw Tao, you’re so loyal to your hyung!”
“On second thought... How about it, Baekhyun-hyung?”
Baekhyun’s fluttered his eyelashes coyly. “Sorry, I don’t think you can handle me when I’m sober, let alone drunk.”
“I can pair up with you, hyung!” Jongdae said playfully but the entire room except Junmyeon knew he was being deadly serious.
“Thanks Jongdae! But wouldn’t you rather be with Baekhyun and Chanyeol?”
Luhan jumped at the opportunity while Jongdae gaped stupidly at Junmyeon and everyone else heaved an internal sigh. “Yes Jongdae,” he simpered. “Wouldn’t you rather be with Baekhyun and Chanyeol?”
“It’s not that~” Jongdae replied cheerfully as if he didn’t just get indirectly rejected and have it rubbed in his face. “I don’t want to get in between them and Kyungsoo when they’re drunk.”
Kyungsoo’s eyes bulged even more than it normally did. “Did something unpleasant happen before?” Jongdae laughed dismissively but his eyes had a faraway look to them like he was recalling a painful memory.
Minseok threw an arm around Jongdae and noogied him. “I’ll pair with you Jongdae-yah. Won’t it be nice? Mentor and mentee together again. You and me, and Zitao with Junmyeon.”
“Ok fine. So that leaves the two that’s been keeping quiet the whole time. It’s like you guys want to be together,” Luhan said accusingly to a dopely smiling Yixing.
“Are you feeling alright, Jongin?” Junmyeon pinched Jongin’s cheeks until they reddened. “You normally get very excited about these things.”
Jongin squirmed away. “I’m not a kid, hyung. And I’m okay with whoever. Really.”
Luhan’s eyes glimmered. “Haha, that sounds like something Yixing would say,” he said without malice. “Right?” He nudged Yixing with his elbow. Yixing snapped out of his stupor and looked around in puzzlement.
“Huh? Me? Well,” he scratched the back of his neck. “I am actually okay with anyone, though. I don’t really care about winning or losing.”
“Don’t be like that, hyung!” Jongin frowned in dissatisfaction. “If you’re playing a game, you should go all out!”
Baekhyun and Chanyeol cackled and pointed at each other. “Jong-in it to win it,” they said in synch.
“Let’s just get this party started,” Jongin groused and touched the tip of his ears self-consciously.
With Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo in charge of cuffing the guests, Zitao and Junmyeon handing out the highlighters, and Minseok and Jongdae giving out white t-shirts to the guests, Yixing and Jongin were left with nothing to do but join the party.
“Jongin-ah!” Jongin tilted his head downwards so Yixing wouldn’t have to shout himself hoarse over the music. “You wanna get a drink? Not alcohol don’t worry, just something to cool you down. You’re looking a little flushed.”
Jongin stared at Yixing’s earnest face as he contemplated how to reply. ‘Oh, I feel kinda hot right now because our arms keep brushing each other, hyung. That’s all,’ was what Jongin really wanted to say but he didn’t trust himself to not stutter. Better if he settled with a non-committal response.
“If you want to, hyung,” he said, his lips brushing the shell of Yixing’s ear. Not for the first time, Jongin marveled at at how perfectly their bodies aligned. Sure, Jongin had a bad habit of slouching, but if it positioned his mouth on the same level with Yixing’s ears, Jongin wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
To Jongin’s disappointment, Yixing seemed completely unfazed by the intimacy. “Okay, stay close to me alright? We don’t want the glowsticks to snap. Jongdae told me that they’re pretty flimsy because they bought the cheap ones.
The bar was already packed by the time they weaved their way through the crowd. Yixing cupped his free hand around his mouth. “I’ll get the drinks, you stay here.”
“Wait, hyung!” Jongin grabbed a handful of Yixing’s shirt. He gestured with his head at their linked hands. “Stay close, remember?” Jongin tried to say as disinterestedly as he could so it wouldn’t be too obvious that his eyes kept straying towards Yixing’s happy trail.
“Just testing you,” Yixing said after staring at Jongin’s face blankly for a second or two.
Jongin barked out a laugh but tried to cover it with his fist. “Sure you were.” He pulled out a highlighter from his jeans pocket and wrote ‘dumb :P’ across Yixing’s chest. Yixing grabbed the highlighter and scrawled ‘DUMBER’ in loopy handwriting.
“We match!”
“Always so positive.” It might have sounded sarcastic to anyone who didn’t know Yixing well, but Jongin was not one of those people. He was good at reading in between the lines that protected the real Yixing from the world. And he was getting better every day.
While nursing their malt beers against a wall (non-alcoholic, peach-flavored for Yixing, strawberry for Jongin), they deflected the judgmental looks they were getting over their choice of drinks by asking passer bys if they could write on their shirts (and bikinis for some of the girls).
It became a contest for both of them to see who could write the most flattering and cheesiest pickup lines. When that lost its novelty, Yixing started doodling cutesy pictures in the gaps between ‘xoxo’s and ‘keep it real chocolate milk boy/caramel chocolate/puppy nini <3 <3’s.
The only reason Jongin kept catching Yixing sneaking glances at him was because he himself was staring unabashedly. The few times Yixing looked away, either to watch people dancing or to continue doodling on his shirt, he would half-smirk at a joke only he knew. Once, when their eyes met, Yixing slowly ran his tongue over his plump bottom lip and bit it.
Even with a thin upper lip Yixing was an excellent kisser. Or maybe precisely because of it, Jongin will never know because he was always too busy losing himself in their kisses, and he was desperate for one now. It took all of Jongin’s self-control to not slide down the wall and whine at Yixing for being such a tease. He decided that two could play the game and asked Yixing to dance with him.
On the pretense that they should be careful with the glowsticks handcuff, Jongin pressed himself into Yixing. Jongin’s moves that night were nothing that befitted a dance major. He didn’t care though, because he was too focused on Yixing’s collarbones. Yixing’s penchant for wearing low neck shirts would one day be the death of him, Jongin mused.
At first, Yixing reciprocated by moving in synch with Jongin so they would have a semblance of rhythm. He even dared to buck his hips up against Jongin’s, eliciting a choked groan that could have come from either of them. But when Jongin started to lightly trace his fingernails from the back of Yixing’s ear, down to his neck and over his clavicles, Yixing let out a shaky gasp and stepped away.
“Let’s get another drink and go outside!” he yelled out louder than necessary. “It’s too hot in here!”
After the customary griping about how the grass was wet and they would have wet patches on their asses, Jongin and Yixing made themselves comfortable and stared up at the polluted Seoul sky. Jongin was still holding onto his fruit-flavored-no-alcohol-beer but Yixing now had four bottles of soju he had uncharacteristically heckled the bartender from clutched protectively to his chest. It was an interesting but surreal scene to watch.
(“What do you mean you’re not handing over the tequila? Give me a bottle of vodka then. FINE! HOW ABOUT I TAKE SOME GODDAMN CLASSIC SOJU? Four bottles for your cheek.
“No, I don’t want any fancy beers. You denied me the pleasure of hard liquor so I’m gonna get back at you. By getting smashed slowly but effectively.
“Dude, do I look like I’m gonna drink them by shots? Just give me the goddamn bottles, fucking please and thank you.”)
Yixing closed his eyes and leaned back with his hands behind him when the night wind gently blew at their faces. “Come home with me for Chinese New Year.” Yixing had said it so quietly that Jongin thought he had imagined it. “If I can’t come home with you for Chuseok this year, then do this for me,” he mumbled around the lip of his already-half-empty bottle.
Jongin swished around the beer in his mouth to stall for time. He knew he wasn’t being fair, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit glad when Yixing changed the subject.
“What’s the point of this game anyway?” he gestured at their cuffed wrists.
Jongin shrugged almost thoughtlessly. “Dunno. But I’m the type who will hold on and never give up. It’s all or nothing for me.” He could hear Yixing’s breath hitch and felt sorry for what was he was about to say next.
“I don’t know why games just rile me up so much. Why can’t I be this motivated for my studies?” Why can’t I be like this with you? Jongin asked himself.
He noticed that Yixing had been silently chugging down his second bottle while he was self-reflecting. But to Yixing’s credit, he humored Jongin. “You’re pretty dedicated to dance even outside of classes. That should count as your studies.”
Jongin waited for a few beats before responding so that Yixing would look at him. He schooled his face into his most serious and sincerest expression. “I admire you too, hyung.”
“Who said anything about admiration?” Yixing scoffed. “Huh?” He flicked Jongin’s forehead and snorted.
“I don’t know man.” Even though Jongin’s voice was light, his heart was anything but. “I’m pretty sure I picked up some awe in your voice just now.”
“Don’t let it get to your head brat,” Yixing said with feeling and got up abruptly. Immediately after, his eyes went as wide as saucers and his mouth formed a slightly elongated ‘O’. Their handcuff had snapped apart with a loud ‘pop’ and startled Jongin from his seat.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” Yixing moaned pitifully but Jongin could nothing but giggle from both nerves and relief. It was as though the tension between them snapped just like the glowsticks.
“It’s okay, hyung. Hell, everyone’s pretty much too drunk to check the winners anyway.”
Yixing shook his head. “Naw, I really do feel bad. Especially after that winning speech of yours.” He fiddled around with the plastic ends of the glowsticks and successfully connected them again after some struggle.
Yixing’s triumphant cheer spurred Jongin to throw caution into the cold wind and give him a chaste kiss. Yixing blinked a few times in shock before leaning in to lock their lips together. Their handcuffs broke apart again as Yixing climbed into Jongin’s lap. Yixing threw his hands up and tugged desperately at tufts of Jongin’s soft hair.
In a surprising show of dominance, Jongin took control of the kiss and forced them to slow down their pace. Yixing swayed in time as Jongin rocked his body slowly against Yixing’s. “Strawberry was a good choice,” Yixing mumbled absently in between sucking Jongin’s tongue and licking into his mouth.
“You’re not mad anymore?” Jongin said almost dizzily when they parted for air. He subconsciously ran his hand under Yixing’s shirt. Jongin felt a slight clenching in his chest when Yixing squirmed under his touch, but he didn’t stop running his hands up and down Yixing’s sides.
Yixing’s eyes resumed their focus as he tried to process what Jongin said. “I wasn’t mad at all,” he whispered breathlessly.
“Yes you were, you didn’t want to dance. You drank,” Jongin mentally counted by memory. “Three bottles of soju. Straight from the bottle. And by the way, you don’t drink hard liquor, where did that come from?”
Yixing huffed irritably but didn’t move away from Jongin’s lap. “I had to stop myself from eating your face in front of everyone okay? So, sorry if I was on the edge.”
Jongin shifted uncomfortably not because of Yixing’s weight or because he could feel himself hardening under the pressure of Yixing’s crotch. He just felt a tiny bit threatened and more than a bit turned on by Yixing’s pout. “Is that really all?” he said suspiciously.
“That really is all.” Jongin would love to take his word for it and continue making out with his boyfriend if it weren’t for the flicker of fear in Yixing’s eyes.
Dancing and being perpetually out of it weren’t the only common grounds they shared. They both had larger-than-life dreams and were painfully hypercritical of themselves.
Every action they made was calculated and repeated until it was perfected. It was an unspoken secret that they discovered they shared after months of silently observing the other, first out of rivalry, then out of genuine camaraderie. Jongin knew why Yixing was unhappy, because it was for the same reason he was.
Jongin pulled Yixing closer. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against the hollow where Yixing’s neck and collarbone met. “I’m sorry for keeping us a secret.”
“What?” Yixing pushed at Jongin’s shoulders so their eyes could meet. “We’re not a secret. We just...,” Yixing worried his lip as he tried to find the right word. “Don’t broadcast ourselves to the world,” he finished lamely.
Jongin smiled ruefully as he thumbed Yixing’s cheek lovingly. “Yeah, but still. I want you all to myself, but I’m not taking responsibility for it. That’s not fair to you.”
“Hey. Yixing laced their fingers together. He brought up Jongin’s hands to his lips. “I know why you want to keep it quiet. It’s okay. I’ll always be with you, even if I need to stay in the shadows,” he whispered against Jongin’s knuckles.
Jongin shook his head sadly. “No,” he said stubbornly. “You belong in the spotlight.” Yixing’s eyes filled up with angry tears at his defiance, but held onto Jongin’s hands.
“I know,” Yixing whispered fiercely. “But this is my decision to make. I know I can be as many people as I need to be. And one of them will be your shadow.”
“I want the world to know about you. About us,” Jongin insisted. Because it was true. They both knew that Yixing was just pushing himself to outwardly accept their relationship when all he wanted to do was hide them forever from the world. That way, they could both pretend that Jongin was the real coward of the two, instead of accepting that it was a combined effort.
But Yixing wasn’t ready to accept the painful truth yet. “Whatever you do, just don’t pee on me,” he said with a forced smile.
“What?!” Jongin exclaimed in genuine bafflement.
Yixing nuzzled his nose against Jongin’s. “You don’t need to mark what’s already yours.” This time, his smile was softer, gentler.
They bumped their foreheads together as if by signal. “Wanna get out of here?” Jongin whispered.
“I’ve been waiting the entire night for you to say that.”
*
Deception #3 (?)
“It’s almost summer,” Baekhyun mourned. “And we haven’t planned anything for the break.”
They were at the student lounge and were hogging the spaciest area. It was rare for them to get together all at once except for special occasions like birthday celebrations, but somehow everyone was present for the impromptu study session. “The stars aligned nicely for us,” Zitao had remarked. Only Sehun knew if he was being serious or was just fucking around with them.
“Please focus on your exams first, Baekhyun,” Junmyeon said gently but firmly.
Baekhyun ignored him. “Let’s all go to the beach. Or the mountains. Yixing-hyung, you haven’t been to my halmoni’s house, right?”
Yixing was about to answer but shut his mouth with an audible click of his teeth when Chanyeol grumpily said, “I haven’t been to your halmoni’s house.”
Zitao jumped to his feet. “Namsan Tower. We have to go to Namsan Tower!”
“You’ve been there 4 freaking times!” Sehun slapped his ass with a rolled up paper.
“And you went twice. Both times with different chicks,” Zitao retorted scathingly.
“And I keep telling you, it wasn’t me! Honestly, I don’t know where you got the idea that I wrote lovey dovey messages on those stupid padlocks. Let it go, will you?” Sehun got up in disgust and went to sit with Luhan and Minseok.
The postgrads didn’t even notice when Sehun squeezed in between them. They only had eyes for their laptops and were zealously smashing their keyboards to a premature death.
Kyungsoo caught Baekhyun’s eyes and gave him a ‘son-I’m-disappointed-in-you’ look before going back to his book.
“Anyway... What do the beach and the mountains have in common?” Baekhyun said almost too cheerfully, a large grin plastered on his face. “They’re great for camping out! We can carpool there and sleep in tents. Outdoors! The wilderness! Chanyeol’s so excited about this that he’s been looking at campsites for weeks.”
“Haven’t you guys been studying?” Junmyeon asked worriedly.
Baekhyun didn’t bother to spare him a glance. “Yixing-hyung, do you have anyone you want to partner up with?” he said slyly.
“Stop putting Yixing-hyung on the spot,” Jongdae growled. Yixing threw him an appreciative smile.
“By the way, hyung.” Jongin nudged Yixing’s side with an elbow. “My parents gave me the green light to go home with you next Chinese New Year. And they invited you over this Chuseok.”
Everyone’s eyebrows, including Yixing’s, shot up to their hairlines. “A-are you serious?” Yixing stammered.
“Yeah.” Jongin shrugged his shoulders casually, but his face was a delightful shade of maroon.
“When was this?” Baekhyun said in scandalized whisper.
Jongin shrugged again and scratched behind his ear. “I dunno, a few weeks back?” he mumbled. “I mean, we gotta plan this stuff early you know. Flight tickets are expensive and I need to make sure I don’t miss out too many classes.”
Junmyeon beamed proudly. “That’s my boy. Learning to set your priorities straight all on your own. You’re growing up!” Jongin was about to scowl at his cousin when someone made a loud, grating noise like a dying cat.
“HOLD THE FUCK UP. YOU GUYS ARE CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THIS?” Jongdae screeched.
“It’s just visiting a friend’s hou - ” Yixing said nervously but was cut off when Jongin wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Jongin pulled Yixing towards him so they were back-to-chest.
“We’ve been dating for a while now,” Jongin announced with a challenging glare. “And it’s about time we get to know each other’s families.”
“Fuck this shit, I’m out.” Chanyeol slammed his laptop shut loudly. He picked up his messenger bag and stomped away.
Baekhyun clutched his head and made a sound like a wounded animal. “Sehun,” he whimpered. “Did you know all along?”
“Yeah?”
“You little bitch!” Baekhyun giggled hysterically.
Jongdae was infinitely less impressed. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he grounded out between gritted teeth.
Sehun mirrored Jongin’s signature shrug except he did it with more finesse. “You didn’t ask.”
“Yes,” Jongdae hissed. “Yes, we did!”
Sehun rolled up his eyes to the high heavens. “You didn’t ask the right questions.”
“Then why did you play along?” Baekhyun demanded. “Did you think it was funny?”
“Um, yeah? Besides, I was getting tired of the UST whenever we have practice. They make me feel like a voyeur.”
Baekhyun stood up and tottered unsteadily. “I’m gonna go back to my dorm and maybe rethink my life choices.”
“Or you could study for your next paper,” Junmyeon supplied helpfully. Baekhyun flipped him the bird. “Fuck you, Kim. Fuck you.”
“Wait, Baek!” Jongdae shot out his hand and grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist. “Don’t leave! Remember the ultimate goal.”
Junmyeon looked sceptically at Jongdae. “Ultimate goal? What could be more important than exams at this juncture?” Jongdae had never wanted to die this much before.
Jongin stood up and shouldered both his and Yixing’s backpacks. “Let’s get out of here,” he said and stretched out his hand to pull Yixing up. “Thought you’d never asked.” Yixing grinned happily and met Jongin’s lips halfway.
Minseok stopped typing and turned looked up at Jongdae. “Maybe you should just give up,” he said as sympathetically as he could with bleary eyes and a scratchy voice.
Luhan shushed Minseok with a finger on his lips. “No babe, don’t. His agony is like Red Bull to me. Deadline’s today.”
“It’s okay Junmyeon-hyung,” Zitao whispered behind his hand to Junmyeon who was looking back and forth between everyone for an explanation. “It’s better to not get involved in this.”
I have the shittiest group of friends, Jongdae thought as he sunk back into the couch bonelessly. Fuck.