(no subject)
Rhody Rides will succeed if I have to drag it along every step of the way, and it kinda looks like that's how it's going to be done- more on that later.
I'm startlingly mellow right now. And, I recently bought several wonderful books. And, I think she was telling the truth I need. And, I'm starting to get sick of livejournal, because I'm rather tired of worrying about whether or not what I'm saying is too emo, too upbeat, too immature, too stiff, too fandom'd, too obscure, too pointless. Fuck it. I've got something to bitch about. I found out that I may be epileptic/have some other form of seizure disorder, due to either the nastiest of the car accidents, or Ramsey-Hunt syndrome (where shingles comes back inside the side of your face) and that kind of bothers me. Because if what we think is going on is true, then I've got some brain damage (make a joke and I'll hate you, and with reason) and I don't know how treatable/fixable it all is. It's kind of worrisome, actually, what's treatable, what isn't, if the damage is continuing, if it can be stopped, if it's a tumor. Oh wow. I didn't think about that till right then. She said the word tumor and my brain skipped right over it. I don't want a tumor. Yeah, I smoke. I'm a total fucking moron for smoking, and I know it. I'm trying to quit, and I've cut down considerably. And I don't want a tumor anywhere. I'm 18 years old, I don't want to think about the big C for a while yet. But it's probably not that at all, if it even is related to any of this, so I'm not going to think about it.
Well on that startlingly upbeat note, I think I'm going to go find a book.
I'm startlingly mellow right now. And, I recently bought several wonderful books. And, I think she was telling the truth I need. And, I'm starting to get sick of livejournal, because I'm rather tired of worrying about whether or not what I'm saying is too emo, too upbeat, too immature, too stiff, too fandom'd, too obscure, too pointless. Fuck it. I've got something to bitch about. I found out that I may be epileptic/have some other form of seizure disorder, due to either the nastiest of the car accidents, or Ramsey-Hunt syndrome (where shingles comes back inside the side of your face) and that kind of bothers me. Because if what we think is going on is true, then I've got some brain damage (make a joke and I'll hate you, and with reason) and I don't know how treatable/fixable it all is. It's kind of worrisome, actually, what's treatable, what isn't, if the damage is continuing, if it can be stopped, if it's a tumor. Oh wow. I didn't think about that till right then. She said the word tumor and my brain skipped right over it. I don't want a tumor. Yeah, I smoke. I'm a total fucking moron for smoking, and I know it. I'm trying to quit, and I've cut down considerably. And I don't want a tumor anywhere. I'm 18 years old, I don't want to think about the big C for a while yet. But it's probably not that at all, if it even is related to any of this, so I'm not going to think about it.
Well on that startlingly upbeat note, I think I'm going to go find a book.