Impact, Part Two!
Part two! Where were we? Oh yes, brb goin 2 the Moon. Alas, gravity cuts out before the train can make it there.
And after a brief breather, here come the gravity games again! An ocean transport barge rises, but not the water. It's immune to gravity! It protects the fish! At least they made the shipping containers come free and not have the entire thing move as one object. +1 for that, but fail nonetheless.
And now the gravity reversal "storm" seeks out the grandpa and the moppets. The hay is *not* immune to the gravity reversal, but I am sad to not see a cow go flying past with a confused look on its face. "Cow." "Another cow." "I think that was the same cow."
This is the point where I lose it. THEY ARE RUNNING (well, driving) FROM THE GRAVITY. It's like running from the cold in The Day After Tomorrow, only 20 times more ridiculous. Faster, Grandpa, faster! Your old car can go faster than the gravitational pull of a brown dwarf! Eject the warp core to cause an explosion to break free -- oh wait, wrong movie.
Incidentally, it doesn't look like Grandpa or the moppets are buckled up at all. Tsk tsk, bad form. Grandpa should've gone right through the windshield when the car returned to the earth, with the kids close behind.
I love (not) the logic here. Nuke the Moon, and the Sun will magically stabilize its orbit. Just go with it. Or we can just destroy the Moon with nukes as the world is drawn together with one common cause...blowing shit up. It's only 9:30 though, so no way will it work. Ten bucks it'll make things worse.
...aaaaaaaaaand I'm right. They didn't destroy the Moon. They just made it angry.
On to Plan B. C? Anyway, my eyes completely glazed over at this point as they babbled in pseudo-science, throwing big words around like they really understand what they mean. I think their plan boils down to landing on the moon and setting off high explosives (how very Armageddon), and...what? Ejecting the brown dwarf? Into the Sun? Oh, gods. I'm sorry, the contestants of Project Runway 7 have a better chance of making this work. We've already established a "chunk" of a brown dwarf doesn't work like they want it to work, but if it did, wouldn't ejecting it into the Sun make the Sun's mass increase and therefore pull the Earth into the Sun? Or perhaps they think it'll only take out Mercury and Venus. Oops, sorry.
The dead grandpa/moppets/joe asshole subplot bores me to tears. MOVING ON. I don't give a shit about character development.
Anyway, long story short, they send inexperienced people to the Moon, people die, they set off explosives in the Moon's crack (hee), a huge chunk of the Moon breaks off and...just kind of hovers there, and they attach a long cable to the brown dwarf chunk (NO REALLY) yanking it out and hurtling into the Sun. Somehow it doesn't pull the Moon (or the Earth) with it. It's bipolar, you see, and turned off its gravity in a fit of pique. And the Moon is somehow now miraculously stable. It's in pieces, but it's stable. And life goes on like nothing happened. Except, you know, the Moon is still closer, the tides are doing the wacky, coastal flooding everywhere....
This may have to go to 11 on the 10 Drinks Scale.
And after a brief breather, here come the gravity games again! An ocean transport barge rises, but not the water. It's immune to gravity! It protects the fish! At least they made the shipping containers come free and not have the entire thing move as one object. +1 for that, but fail nonetheless.
And now the gravity reversal "storm" seeks out the grandpa and the moppets. The hay is *not* immune to the gravity reversal, but I am sad to not see a cow go flying past with a confused look on its face. "Cow." "Another cow." "I think that was the same cow."
This is the point where I lose it. THEY ARE RUNNING (well, driving) FROM THE GRAVITY. It's like running from the cold in The Day After Tomorrow, only 20 times more ridiculous. Faster, Grandpa, faster! Your old car can go faster than the gravitational pull of a brown dwarf! Eject the warp core to cause an explosion to break free -- oh wait, wrong movie.
Incidentally, it doesn't look like Grandpa or the moppets are buckled up at all. Tsk tsk, bad form. Grandpa should've gone right through the windshield when the car returned to the earth, with the kids close behind.
I love (not) the logic here. Nuke the Moon, and the Sun will magically stabilize its orbit. Just go with it. Or we can just destroy the Moon with nukes as the world is drawn together with one common cause...blowing shit up. It's only 9:30 though, so no way will it work. Ten bucks it'll make things worse.
...aaaaaaaaaand I'm right. They didn't destroy the Moon. They just made it angry.
On to Plan B. C? Anyway, my eyes completely glazed over at this point as they babbled in pseudo-science, throwing big words around like they really understand what they mean. I think their plan boils down to landing on the moon and setting off high explosives (how very Armageddon), and...what? Ejecting the brown dwarf? Into the Sun? Oh, gods. I'm sorry, the contestants of Project Runway 7 have a better chance of making this work. We've already established a "chunk" of a brown dwarf doesn't work like they want it to work, but if it did, wouldn't ejecting it into the Sun make the Sun's mass increase and therefore pull the Earth into the Sun? Or perhaps they think it'll only take out Mercury and Venus. Oops, sorry.
The dead grandpa/moppets/joe asshole subplot bores me to tears. MOVING ON. I don't give a shit about character development.
Anyway, long story short, they send inexperienced people to the Moon, people die, they set off explosives in the Moon's crack (hee), a huge chunk of the Moon breaks off and...just kind of hovers there, and they attach a long cable to the brown dwarf chunk (NO REALLY) yanking it out and hurtling into the Sun. Somehow it doesn't pull the Moon (or the Earth) with it. It's bipolar, you see, and turned off its gravity in a fit of pique. And the Moon is somehow now miraculously stable. It's in pieces, but it's stable. And life goes on like nothing happened. Except, you know, the Moon is still closer, the tides are doing the wacky, coastal flooding everywhere....
This may have to go to 11 on the 10 Drinks Scale.