[fic] Retribution Seventeen

[kajornwan]

I must have said sorry for a dozen times for not updating for so long, but at least I can guarantee you that I will finish this fic as long as there are still people willing to read. For those who are still with me, thank you so much for your support, i wouldn't have gotten this far without you. Without further rambling, here it is, the new chapter

Comments

[delwynmarch]

You SO need to go pro, you know. This stuff is MUCH better than many published books I've read. You're excellent at characterisation, your plot twists continuously take me by surprise, and the descriptions are both detailed enough to guide the imagination yet concise enough not to interrupt the action. And what an action it is, too! So much happening, in so little time, with a constant reminder to hurry but yet never feeling rushed...

So anyway!

* Yoh: I've said it a thousand times, and I'll repeat it a million times: I adore your Yoh. And you might say that you don't feel for him as much as for Fei Long and Mikhail, but you still GET him far better than many Yoh fans! " I need you. There it was, the words that could make him surrender and give up everything - his life, his pride, his integrity - spoken by the one and only man who had the power to do so." Ha! And that whole battle of wills between Fei Long and Yoh was perfect, down to the fact that if Fei Long won it, it was because he was FINALLY facing himself, his duty, and the

[kajornwan]

You SO need to go pro, you know. I'm trying but my muse is obsessed with Mik x Fei and she won't let me write anything else. *cries* I'm beginning to think this could be my one hit wonder as I can't seem to see anything clearly right now when I'm writing my original. Hopefully it's because I'm still stuck in VF realm. I'm waiting to see what happens when I finish CI

[delwynmarch]

"Damn, this comment is more well-written than my entire fucking chapter."

Nope. The comment is just a reflection of the chapter ;)

I have a feeling this is what Yoh has been wanting to see all along, from the very first time he saw Fei sulk in jail, and then seeing a glimpse of how beautiful he could be when he gains back his focus and self-esteem.

I'd say not when he saw him sulk, but when he saw him angry at the prospect that Asami might get his hands on Baishe. That was when Yoh first "saw colour in his eyes" as he says in NT0. And then Fei Long got out of jail, and reclaimed and rebuilt Baishe in a handful of years, and how could someone like Yoh not be admirative of that? (Of course, this is the whole plot of the fic I'm desperately supposed to be working on :P )

which FnR has decided to blatantly prove me wrong from the very first chapter!Hence why this YohxFei fan hates FnR with a passion =_= Established canon characterisation? What established canon characterisation?? Let's take those awesome characters and strip them of

[kajornwan]

I'd say not when he saw him sulk, but when he saw him angry This is yet another example of the failure to explain myself in English (or Thai which could be worse =_=). I meant the the contrast from the lifeless Fei and then seeing the fight in him. You are right, how could someone like Yoh not admire it. Fei Long is the complete opposite of Yoh - he's reckless, undisciplined, unpredictable and unreasonable all for the sake of his passion and yet his existence is so damn addictive. He breaks every rule Yoh builds around himself, continuously showing everyone that there is something else worth living for than power and righteousness. A part of us all including Yoh and Mikhail who love Fei probably want to see him win and find happiness in the end. Because if he doesn't, then the world is an ugly ugly place, isn't it?..thanks to YA that never happened and it never will or else that 3some would never come into existence *sighs

[kajornwan]

Thank you for stopping by and let me know you enjoyed it. Yoh will get some loving although not from Fei XD I think he'd be quite happy paired with Feodora. I have bigger plans for Yoh actually.

Feodora is awesome and Mikhail is a dick for dumping her LOL

Asami won't be joining in as I think it would be out od character for him, but I'm planning a big conclusive encounter between him and Fei Long at the very end which I'm dying to write.

Thanks again for sticking around even though I take so long to update!

[zsuzsapo]

[kajornwan]

I wish I could draw Fei an Feo in their get up too. They look amazing in my head. Fei-Feo-Yoh card game sounds like fun OMG O_O

she has to take care of the boys, the business, Asami&Aki...
And the baby!! I love writing her. She brings out the loser in every single one of our boys! Girls rule!

Awww I'm so glad reading has gotten you a nice compliment and made you a new friend! I hope that's because a woman (or a man) is most beautiful when she's in love, and that means I've succeeded in making the MikxFei love so pungent it got out and contaminated the air in your train! Was he cute?

P.S. The team came second place which was already great as it's a newly formed team that has only been through 3 events so far. They came fifth in the last match. From that to second is a huge leap!

[zsuzsapo]

[delwynmarch]

He was from Switzerland, so it didn't go beyong that

... unless you exchanged email addresses. In which case, beware :P ! I too thought that nothing could come out of chatting with that nice guy from Slovenia ("Where in Europe is that anyway!?") - you know, my now-ex-husband :D

[chaosmindfuck]

This is such a great chapter, Kajornwan! It was exciting from start to finish, and I loved pretty much every moment. Feodora gets more and more awesome with each chapter, and I really liked the interaction between Fei Long and Yoh.

My favorite scene was the one of Alexei - it was both visually and emotionally impactful. Oh, and cool as fuck.

And the scene when Fei Long threatened to kill himself - although I saw that coming (maybe because I share the same principle), it was still as riveting as it would have been if I hadn't.

I want to commend you especially on writing emotions and action scenes. The latter is something I struggle with, so I really admire you for that.

And I am so looking forward to the upcoming chapters. Nothing beats hand-to-hand combat - it's raw, gritty, and really fucking awesome.One more thing I forgot to mention before - you mentioning Moonlight Becomes You made me smile like a mad, mad thing. That song means a lot to me. I prefer Bing Crosby and Chet Bakers versions, though

[kajornwan]

You can call me Faye ^_^ Kajornwan is actually my real name. Faye is my nickname and what we use around here.

My favorite scene was the one of Alexei - it was both visually and emotionally impactful. Oh, and cool as fuck.
*This is the sound of my fist banging on the table* I'm so glad I managed to get the scene through. I saw that scene like a movie in my head and it was one of the most beloved images in this entire series. Handsome Alexei in a tux, spreading his wings and conducting this explosion of awakening. If only I could draw!! It appears you've seen what was in my head and that was utterly flattering!

Me? Action scenes? I think I suck at that too, which is why you can expect the next chapter to not come quickly. I have no freaking idea how to write that fight *cries and go drown in a Bruce Lee movie marathon*

Nothing beats hand-to-hand combat - it's raw, gritty, and really fucking awesome. Please don't say that. It's me who have to write it *screams and yanks hair

[delwynmarch]

Kajornwan is actually my real name.

Really?? I didn't know that! And so now I guess I can ask: how the Hell do you pronounce that :D ?

And oh yeah, I wanted to say: I forgot to mention it, but the Alexei scene totally worked for me too! I could see it, even feel it in my bones. Judging by the comments, I think you can safely count this one as a complete success :)

[kajornwan]

Just as it says: Ka-chorn-One. It's a weird name even for Thai people. Sort of life Feodora perhaps (a Russian reader told me).

I'm glad the Alexei scene works for you too *_* Ah that satisfying feeling when you can make a reader see something you see!

[char_comet]

This was an awesome chapter!!! (and did you realize you made it so beautiful even without sex? :-P)
In these hard times of withdrawal from Fei Long stuff, I got such a good feeling at coming back and reading your fic and this your Fei Long!!! It wasn't so good to see Mikhail tortured both physically and psychologically like that, but I knew I have to expect these angst and cruelty from you :-P
And I have to thank you one more time for the length and the rich content of the chapter! I know it isn't easy for you to write (and write that much) with all the things you have to deal with, but I am very grateful that you decided to entertain us readers with this great story! ^_^

[kajornwan]

Ok, who the hell are you? The Terry I know isn't easily pleased! XD But seriously, I'm basically jumping up and down now that I can finally write something that makes your Fei Long day! *hugs* I know you've been as deprived as I am and all the cruelty I've written didn't help much, but I'm glad this Fei is to your liking. I've been wanting to get to the point where I can write him like this for a while because I like him like this too. I just needed some more time for him to grow. I'm glad it helps ease you back into the fandom as most of us have scattered off some how. I hope to be able to continue to do this and update faster. To tell you the truth, I have only about 4 hours per week to myself before the children wake up on Sunday. It certainly wasn't easy and why it takes so long. Muse doesn't cooperate every time I want to write or have time to. *cries*

And it's so good to see you back again. We've all missed you! The old Fei fan gang!