maybe this is exactly what i needed to open my eyes. i like the new surroundings, the new people, the new feeling, it actully feels right for once. this could be the start of something new, i could only hope, but is this really what i want? theres always that thought in my mind.

p.s. rock the bells concert tomorrow, so pumped.

( mommy's wedding )

just come back home. i cant take this too much longer, seeing you so unhappy and miserable. day by day just gets harder for you and its really just not fair. your life is here, massachussetts, where you belong. i know that all you want is those nights back where nothing mattered, when everything was perfectly okay and nothing went wrong, when ( Read more... )

confused,confused,confused,confused,confused,confused,confused,confused,confused,confused,confused,
and i hate feeling this way. i hate knowing nothings the same anymore, that everythings different including how we are with eachother.  this summer is nothing like it was last summer and knowing that just makes me miss it all so much, more then ( Read more... )

i wish i could take everything, throw it away and just start over brand new. but that's just the way life goes, you dont really get a second chance.

even though i say how i really feel about him, for some reason i'm still confused about alot of things. maybe i dont know what love really is, i mean i know i am still young and i have a full life ahead of me. whats going on in my damn head, i dont get it what so ever i comfuse myself too much. im so dumb, so fucking stupid.

now i'm down to 119lbs? even though i don't really feel like i am.

around 2 o'clock today, i have a photo shoot with Focus Magazine. im nervous but then again really excited. i never thought i would have an opportunity like this, but i guess if you wait good things will come. it's taking place in tewksbury and they will be taking 75-100 photos with me in a bathing suit. in the end i get to keep them all, have my ( Read more... )

to me, you always seem like you have to pull through to be better then anyone else, ever since i met you its been like that. it never ends, and its pretty funny. i hear alot of things about you, and really in all honestly, i dont think your that great of a friend. you never come around when you say you are, and you hurt a good amount of people, ( Read more... )

yesterday was a good time spent with jackie, steph, sanderson, and dean at the beach. i thought it would be a little akward because i've never hung out with just them before, but they all made me feel really comfortable an everything was good. most of my friends are guy friends, and the only other girl i actually hang out with is brittney, jess, ( Read more... )