Solitaire ; [4/?] ; gen ; PG13

Mar 17, 2011 21:39

Title: Solitaire (Chapter 4)
Group: SHINee
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 2,300
Summary: Einstein was right, Jonghyun's life sucks, Minho's pretty tough, and Taemin is everywhere. Turns out that God may not throw dice, but he does play with cards. Important cards.
Notes: I lied. 500 words from completion. I think it's starting to become really clear that this is not my genre at all...although anything but gen wasn't my genre at all when I first started writing either. Hm.



He was torn between being unable to sit still, and being able to do nothing but sit still. Beside him, Jinki's eyes were red and puffy as the older boy bit at his lip, hands clasped with elbows resting on his knees. Jonghyun leaned back and stuffed his hands in his pockets, before he stood and walked the six or so steps across the hall. Jinki raised his head at the movement, but sighed and dropped it listlessly again when he saw that it was just Jonghyun pacing again.

"You look terrible," Jonghyun pointed out. His voice sounded raw even to his own ears.

Jinki laughed wryly. "So do you," he replied, rubbing at his eyes and doing nothing to help the matter. Jonghyun's hands flew to his own face self-consciously, his fingers cool against blotchy skin. With a shake of his head and a dry smile devoid of real amusement, he dropped his hands again and leant back. His head hit the wall with a solid clunk.

Unbidden, a reel of images streamed through his mind, and Jonghyun squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to close them out, but to no avail. A flutter of brown in a sea of stillness bursting into mayhem, the colour of screams dyed red white red, bodies crumpled in a way bodies shouldn't crumple, and god so much red was that even possible. Jinki had stood first, shakily, bruised and scratched and a little unstable but otherwise unhurt. Jonghyun had stopped meters away, Taemin following half a step behind. Taemin had worn a shocked expression on his face, eyes wide in a horror that hadn't been there moments earlier.

"He'll live." Jonghyun's gaze snapped upward towards the tired voice; out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jinki do the same. Taemin appeared from behind a corner, his footsteps quiet even in the silence. His eyes were downcast, but the hint of a smile hung at the edges of his lips.

"Thank god," Jonghyun breathed, sinking down into a crouch. He ran his fingers through his hair, elbows pressed against his knees, eyes squeezed shut again, this time in relief. Taemin was talking again, but Jonghyun glazed over the words, opting instead to repeat what the younger boy had first said. Kibum didn't deserve to die - didn't deserve any of this, but definitely didn't deserve to die.

"How's Minho?" Jinki asked hesitantly.

Taemin shrugged. "He's fine," he replied offhandedly. "Hyung's always been pretty tough."

"He nearly got run over by a truck." Jonghyun stared incredulously at Taemin, shocked by the lack of caring in his tone.

"But he didn't get run over," Taemin shot back, eyes daring Jonghyun to say anything more.

"He's right," Jinki suddenly cut in, eyes still bloodshot. "About Minho. Being tough, I mean."

Taemin gave Jonghyun a look that read plainly 'I told you so,' and Jonghyun could only press his lips together in response. "He should be awake soon," Taemin was saying. "The doctor said there were a few fractures, but he's fine."

Jonghyun stared at the younger boy - although he doubted that Taemin was actually younger than him, despite his looks. His face was almost passively bland, lacking the desperation and anxiety that coloured Jinki's face, yet he found a somber note in Taemin's eyes. Taemin was watching him as well - watching, and waiting, Jonghyun realised. He licked his lips, suddenly gone dry. "What about Kibum?" he asked almost hesitantly.

"He'll live," Taemin repeated quietly, and Jonghyun wondered if somewhere his heart might be breaking.

♠ ♡ ♥ ♢ ♦ ♡ ♣

- we don't know when he'll wake up.

- when?

- (a pause, hesitant, and then gently:) or if.

- um, have you called his parents already? (that's jinki, being responsible for you.)

- they're on their way. i understand you're worried for your friend, but maybe you should -

"Bullshit!" Jonghyun growled, his fist stinging as it made contact with the wall.

"Jonghyun?" Jinki called quietly, shutting the door behind him as he walked out of Minho's room, taken aback at the fierceness in his friend's eyes when Jonghyun looked up at his voice. "Um... Is something wrong?"

"What do you mean is something wrong?" Jonghyun bit out the words. "And you!" he said, suddenly whirling on Taemin, leaning nearby against the wall. "How can you be so calm about all this?"

Taemin, to his credit, did look alarmed as he waved his hands in denial. "It's not that, but there's nothing we can do now, right?"

"Y-yeah," Jinki agreed, although he suddenly sounded a lot more choked. "The doctors said they'll do their best, after all."

"You stay out of this," Jonghyun snapped at Jinki before turning back to Taemin. "And bullshit. This is -"

"I'm going to borrow hyung for a minute," Taemin cut him off, hand reaching out to clamp around Jonghyun's wrist. Jinki stood there watching the exchange and nodded mutely. Jonghyun growled and jerked his arm back, but Taemin's hold was surprisingly strong and he didn't let go, pulling the other boy down the hall and through a pair of doors before turning into the empty washroom, locking the door behind them.

"Don't you hyung me," Jonghyun said, shaking Taemin's hand off. "Do you even care about any of this?"

Taemin crossed his arms and blinked at him, leaning against the door. "Not really," he admitted easily, eyes watching Jonghyun carefully. "A little, but not as much as you two. Wrong question to ask, by the way. And," he cut Jonghyun off when the other boy opened his mouth to speak, "do you even care about any of this?"

"What the hell sort of question is that?"

Taemin nodded, as if satisfied in some way. "Exactly," he answered cryptically.

Jonghyun growled and took a step forward, fist slamming against the wall next to Taemin's head. Taemin didn't flinch, shrugging in an offhanded manner instead. "You haven't really given this much thought, have you?" Taemin said before Jonghyun could say anything again.

"Given what much thought? That my best friend is lying there unconscious and-"

"Did you forget that you're supposed to be dead?"

Jonghyun stopped midsentence, staring at the younger boy instead. His eyes were impossibly childlike in their innocence, and Jonghyun looked away, shaking his head once, twice in the process. He realised his mouth was still open, and shut it quickly, jaw clenched. Taemin walked around Jonghyun in the meantime, standing in the middle of the washroom with his hands in his pockets.

"You woke up at my place, I told you you were dead, we went into what I've been told is like 'hammer space', and then you got thrown straight into your old life." Taemin counted off each event with his fingers, looking straight at Jonghyun with the last iteration. "Most people would have a few questions by now."

Jonghyun turned slowly to stare at Taemin, mouth pressed into a thin line for a moment before he replied. "I've been a little occupied," he snapped irritably.

Taemin shrugged. "With the wrong things," he commented. "At least you've figured out that those cards aren't just regular playing cards, right? Although given your track record so far, I won't be too disappointed if you haven't."

"I have," Jonghyun said, biting back the urge to curse Taemin out completely, to wipe that smug look off his face.

As if he knew what Jonghyun was thinking, Taemin smiled brightly at him. "Good! Then that makes things easier. Start thinking, 'kay?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking. And I think you know more than you're telling me and that this is your fault." Jonghyun stared at Taemin hard, but the smile on Taemin's face didn't budge. If anything, it got wider.

"My fault?" Taemin asked innocently. "No, I think I mentioned it already, didn't I? You dealt the cards, so if it's anyone's fault, it's yours."

Jonghyun was left gaping at a loss for words as Taemin unlocked the door and walked back into the hall, leaving the other boy inside. "Damn it!" Jonghyun swore, kicking at the door in frustration. "Who the fuck does he think he is?"

His question echoed mockingly in the enclosed space, and Jonghyun swallowed a bitter laugh. God, all his fault? They hadn't let them in to see Kibum, since they weren't family and all, but fuck, his fault? "How the fuck is it my fault?" but Taemin's words had left a niggling doubt in his mind, as he pulled out the deck of cards. He regarded the spread silently, the two aces sitting side by side in the top right corner, the rest of the cards virtually untouched. Hesitantly, he dealt three cards from the stack, wincing at the familiar triplets which yielded no result. A four of diamonds though. That - that was good.

Start thinking, kay? Taemin had said. Well he was thinking about it. He was thinking about it right now. And too much just didn't add up, but he just couldn't get what. So he was dead. Sort of. These "cards" were apparently important. His best friend had gotten hit by a truck. He was missing something important here.

A knock on the door startled Jonghyun into vanishing the cards. "Yeah, uh, just a second!" he yelled through the door, and opened it cautiously. An old woman smiled at him as he held the door open for her, before hotfooting it back to where Jinki was waiting.

"You okay?" was the first thing Jinki said, looking him over with concern.

Jonghyun swallowed back a retort and nodded at the look in Jinki's eyes. "Yeah - just a bit high-strung, I guess. With everything, and, y'know." He trailed off, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Sorry, this is really cutting into your study time isn't it?" Jonghyun half joked.

"Don't put it like that." Jinki sounded like he was trying to hold back tears again, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth. Jonghyun watched quietly for a moment, before casting his eyes downward, taking a deep breath. Damn, talk about things fucking up.

"How's, uh, Minho?" Jonghyun asked.

Jinki offered a tentative smile "Awake," he said. "The doctors said he's pretty lucky. A day or two just for monitoring, and he'll be fine." Not like Kibum, goes unsaid, but Jonghyun hears it anyway.

"Yeah? That's good." Jonghyun nodded in accompaniment to his words. "What about you? How're you?" he clarified. He was talking more to fill in the silence than for any reason; he felt acutely conscious of this fact.

"I'm fine," Jinki answered automatically, although his hand twitched to the bandages under his sleeve. He saw Jonghyun staring at him a little disbelieving, and smiled ruefully. "It's nothing," he reassured him.

Jonghyun shrugged, too tired to disagree and sat down next to him. Down the hall, a nurse's heels clicking past echoed emptily, the sounds of children's laughter floating through the distance. Jonghyun shifted awkwardly, fidgeting. "I - I'm sorry," he finally said.

"For what?" Jinki looked at him, confusion evident in his eyes.

Jonghyun laced his fingers together, eyes focused on his hands. "It's... This. It's - it's my fault," he admitted. He sneaked a glance up - Jinki was still staring at him, although the feeling behind it had changed, like... Like Jinki was pitying him. The realisation clenched at his gut, and Jonghyun opened his mouth to explain - about the cards, about the reason for the trip, about -

"It's pretty late, shouldn't you go home?" Taemin suddenly asked.

Jonghyun turned in surprise to see Taemin in the seat on the other side of Jinki.

"I called my parents already," Jinki answered. "They're worried about Kibum too - so they said it's okay if I stay until his parents come."

"Oh," Jonghyun replied at the same time Taemin commented "that might take a while," his lips pressed into a thin line.

"What do you mean?" the other two asked in unison - Jinki's a pure question, Jonghyun's bordering on accusatory.

"Highway's closed," Taemin explained. "An accident, I think. Something about a truck and construction beams? I heard some nurses talking about it just now, because this is the closest big hospital."

Jinki sighed, sounding a little defeated. Jonghyun just stared.

"The timing's really bad too," Taemin added, his lips pursed. "Besides - "

Whatever he'd been about to say was cut short as the lights flickered once, twice, before going dark entirely. Someone screamed, before there was a quiet whirr as the hospital's back-up generators kicked in, low lighting restored to the hallways.

" - the timing's really bad," Taemin said simply.

This time, it was Jonghyun who excused himself to a Jinki who was even more confused than last time as he dragged Taemin off.

♠ ♡ ♥ ♢ ♦ ♡ ♣

"Was that my fault too?" he asked pointedly, the moment they were alone.

The younger boy shrugged, his shoulders jerking upwards in a rough movement. He met Jonghyun's eyes, a slight smile playing on his lips. "Not really," he reassured him.

"You knew that would happen," Jonghyun accused. When Taemin didn't deny it, Jonghyun's fist struck the wall next to Taemin's head in frustration, aware of the deja vue.

"Well, there was a chance it wouldn't have," Taemin mused thoughtfully. "Or not. Actually, I don't think so? So I guess it did have to happen."

"What do you mean?" Jonghyun's patience was quickly running too thin to deal with Taemin's roundabout explanations.

Taemin hummed, considering. "The cards were already dealt," he said eventually.

Jonghyun gritted his teeth. "And what does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything," Taemin laughed, eyes clear. "But they won't do anything if you don't play them, you know," he said, laying out the deck for Jonghyun. Jonghyun eyed the cards in thinly veiled hatred, but flipped over the cards under Taemin's prompting.

"What the hell," he muttered under his breath as he dealt through the deck.

"Not bad," Taemin commented. "But as I expected."

"What," Jonghyun asked acidly.

"Oh, nothing," Taemin answered airily, before adding as an afterthought: "the blackout won't matter too much in the long run. Although, I wouldn't leave the hospital tonight if I were you."

Jonghyun bit his lip as he waited for Taemin to continue - except, obviously, he didn't. "Fine. Why?" he asked.

Taemin grinned when Jonghyun rose to his bait. "It would be bad if you had an accident," he answered cheerily.

And Jonghyun's heart sank as things began to click in place.

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<< chapter 3 || chapter 5 >>

group: shinee, pairing: gen, +multi-chapter, !fanfiction

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