anywhere
Title: Anywhere
Author:
kalexico
Pairing, Character(s): Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez
Rating: PG (language)
Word Count: 1832
Summary: Maybe you’ll tell her tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or at prom, or at graduation. Or never, which is more likely, because you’re so damn scared.
_______
It's a normal day at WMHS. Normal for anyone but you. When a flash of blonde hair catches your eye, you take a deep breath. Your trembling legs carry you to the girl that has been invading your mind for years now.
You stop at her locker. "Hey, Quinn."
You hate the way you sound insecure, which you never do - and how your voice seems to tremble. You also hate that it's apparent that Quinn noticed, because she's giving you a confused look, but then shrugs and smiles and God, that smile, you just know you're done for. "Hi, Santana."
"So, um, I kind of wanted to talk to you?" You almost stutter. You feel a bit sick at the thought that you're really doing this. It's not too late. You can still back off. You can still postpone, tell yourself you'll do it soon, just not now.
"Sure. What about?" Quinn asks, taking her books and closing her locker.
You look at the floor, suddenly finding the texture very interesting. You lick your lips, noticing how dry your mouth suddenly is. You look around. Nobody is standing near you and the people walking by don't seem that interested - it comes with being off Cheerios, you guess.
"Iloveyou," you say so quickly that you're not really sure if she's even heard you.
She smiles again, blushed a bit. "I love you too, Santana. Why is that we never said this to each other before?"
Your heart drops. Fuck. "No, I don't think you understand." You take a deep breath and repeat yourself, more slowly now: "I love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray."
She quirks an eyebrow and it does things to you. "I don't understand?"
"God, do I have to spell it out for you?" you snap, immediately regretting it when you see the look on her face. It's just that you're nervous and it's hard enough as it is, without you having to state it so bluntly. But you guess you have no choice. "I'm sorry. I - I mean - I'm in love with you?"
Silence.
"Quinn?"
"I... I don't know what to say, Santana."
Fuck, fuck, fuck. "Just... say something."
Nothing.
"Please say you love me back. Please?" You hate to beg - she knows this. You hate how vulnerable you sound.
"I - no, Santana. You're not in love with me."
"What? Yes, I am. I have been for years now!"
"No, you - you're probably confused." Quinn's voice is eerily calm. "You're confused. You're not in love with me. You can't be. I'm a girl and you're a girl. It's wrong. It's unnatural."
"But Quinn -"
"No!" she says, louder this time. Her face is flushed and she speaks with venom in her voice. "It's not true, Santana. Don't speak such nonsense! It's simply... ridiculous! You're a freak. I should've known something was up with the way you always looked at everyone in the shower after Cheerios practice! And God, have you been perving on us in those skirts as well?"
"What? No, not at all!"
She gives you a scowl.
"Well, maybe a little, but not - fuck, Quinn - not like that. Please, don't tell anyone. Just - just forget I ever said this, okay? It never happened."
"I can't just ignore this, Santana!" she says, taking a step back, as if she's disgusted to be even near you. "I think it is my obligation to inform the other students, so that they can stay away from you. It's gross. It's - it's - it's preposterous!"
"Quinn - no - please don't!"
The sound of your cellphone drowns out her evil laughter and suddenly, you're jolted back into the real world. You feel how your body is sticky with sweat and you want to fucking cry that it was only a dream.
You grab your phone and look at the caller ID. It's Brittany.
"Hi," you say groggily.
"Hey, San!" She sounds chipper as ever. "Where are you? I'm waiting for you to pick me up!"
You look at the time.
Fuck.
"Look, Britt, can you catch another ride? I'm still in bed. I think I'm going to skip first period, it's just Biology. I'm really sorry, okay?"
"Okay. I'll just call Mike then."
"Fine. See you in Glee."
"Bye San!"
You get up and head for the shower. You let out a deep sigh as the hot water runs over your body. You try not to think about Quinn, or what it would be like to have her there with you.
Yesterday, you'd told yourself that today would be the day. Today, you would tell Quinn Fabray that you're in love with her and have been for the longest time. That you love the way she quirks her eyebrow, that you love the way her voice sounds early in the morning. You love how she always looks great in anything she wears. You love that small smile that tugs at her lips when she's touched by something. You love how she'll never admit it, because it means she understands that you never admit to such things either. You love how much she cares, and how she'll silently be the most loyal person there is. You love how strong she is. You love her handwriting. You love the way she always puts her left foot first and always skips cracks in the sidewalk because her uncle told her she'd be swallowed by a monster if she stepped in them when she was little, and even though she doesn't believe it anymore, it still kind of lingers. You love the way her eyes tell you everything you need to hear. You love how she doesn't need to announce to the world how good it is what she's doing. You love her silent strength. You love her voice, her laugh, her gentle smile. You love the fact that she's a fantasy nerd. Your heart breaks when she cries. You love the way she holds a cigarette on the very off chance she takes a smoke.
You don't really love the way the water's turned cold now, though. You get out of the shower and think about the day. Glee club. You hope mr Schue won't try to make you sing duets again, because you don't think you can stand to see her sing with some lame guy again, even though she's single right now.
You hate how happy that makes you.
It's not as if you stand a chance. Sure, you're a hot piece of ass, but you're a girl and she's as straight as they come. Sometimes, you wish you could just go away right now. Off to New York, or to California, wherever. Somewhere where you don't have to hide the fact that you'll take boobs over penis any day (as any normal person should, in your opinion).
Maybe you'll tell her tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or at prom, or at graduation. Or never, which is more likely, because you're so damn scared.
You go through the day. You talk to Quinn in class, pretend that nothing is wrong. You laugh along with her, half-heartedly. Your mind's not really in it.
When mr Schue finally arrives, you're surprised to see Quinn walk to the front of the choir room. "Mr. Schue, can I sing a song? I've prepared one."
"Sure, go ahead, Quinn."
She says something to the band as you brace yourself. You wonder who it'll be this time - what undeserving bastard will be fucking lucky enough to have a shot with her and undoubtedly not even fucking appreciate it because they won't see her the way you do, in all her awesome perfection.
"Okay, so," she clears her throat - she actually sounds nervous. "This one's for Santana."
You look up in surprise, your eyebrows finding their way upwards. Your heart starts to beat faster as she sings.
Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold only us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
You pinch yourself. This can't be happening. This isn't happening. You must've misunderstood. But she's sitting there, on that chair, looking straight at you.
I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long, I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold only us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah
The song fades out and you don't even notice that the other members of New Directions are just as surprised as you are.
You're even more surprised when she walks up to you with that soft smile, takes your hand and pulls you up. You think your brain will have redefined 'surprise' when she leans in and presses her lips against yours. After a few seconds, you relax and kiss her back and it's fucking amazing. Her lips are just like you imagined they would be - soft, moist, so very kissable. Her smell invades your senses. Suddenly, you kiss her back more intensely, realizing how much you need this.
Is this real life?
You expect to wake up any second, but you don't. The kiss stops, she cups your face, strokes your cheek with her thumb and looks at you, a hint of fear in her eyes.
"Quinn - I - wow."
"Santana?"
"I love you," you hear yourself say. "I love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray." For the first time out loud, for the first time for real. You've dreamt it so many times, you've thought it so many times, that it's almost strange hearing those words leave your lips. A little bit like saying goodbye, almost.
"I love you too, Santana Alexandra Lopez."
"Okay, guys, that's wonderful," Mr. Schue starts, but neither of you is really paying attention. Tina, who was sitting next to you, has taken another empty chair so that Quinn can join you. You hold hands throughout the rest of the meeting. It's a bit weird and totally not you, but apparently it's what Quinn wants and God knows you'll do anything for her.
Fin.
A/N: The song is Anywhere by Evanescence.
Author:
kalexico
Pairing, Character(s): Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez
Rating: PG (language)
Word Count: 1832
Summary: Maybe you’ll tell her tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or at prom, or at graduation. Or never, which is more likely, because you’re so damn scared.
_______
It's a normal day at WMHS. Normal for anyone but you. When a flash of blonde hair catches your eye, you take a deep breath. Your trembling legs carry you to the girl that has been invading your mind for years now.
You stop at her locker. "Hey, Quinn."
You hate the way you sound insecure, which you never do - and how your voice seems to tremble. You also hate that it's apparent that Quinn noticed, because she's giving you a confused look, but then shrugs and smiles and God, that smile, you just know you're done for. "Hi, Santana."
"So, um, I kind of wanted to talk to you?" You almost stutter. You feel a bit sick at the thought that you're really doing this. It's not too late. You can still back off. You can still postpone, tell yourself you'll do it soon, just not now.
"Sure. What about?" Quinn asks, taking her books and closing her locker.
You look at the floor, suddenly finding the texture very interesting. You lick your lips, noticing how dry your mouth suddenly is. You look around. Nobody is standing near you and the people walking by don't seem that interested - it comes with being off Cheerios, you guess.
"Iloveyou," you say so quickly that you're not really sure if she's even heard you.
She smiles again, blushed a bit. "I love you too, Santana. Why is that we never said this to each other before?"
Your heart drops. Fuck. "No, I don't think you understand." You take a deep breath and repeat yourself, more slowly now: "I love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray."
She quirks an eyebrow and it does things to you. "I don't understand?"
"God, do I have to spell it out for you?" you snap, immediately regretting it when you see the look on her face. It's just that you're nervous and it's hard enough as it is, without you having to state it so bluntly. But you guess you have no choice. "I'm sorry. I - I mean - I'm in love with you?"
Silence.
"Quinn?"
"I... I don't know what to say, Santana."
Fuck, fuck, fuck. "Just... say something."
Nothing.
"Please say you love me back. Please?" You hate to beg - she knows this. You hate how vulnerable you sound.
"I - no, Santana. You're not in love with me."
"What? Yes, I am. I have been for years now!"
"No, you - you're probably confused." Quinn's voice is eerily calm. "You're confused. You're not in love with me. You can't be. I'm a girl and you're a girl. It's wrong. It's unnatural."
"But Quinn -"
"No!" she says, louder this time. Her face is flushed and she speaks with venom in her voice. "It's not true, Santana. Don't speak such nonsense! It's simply... ridiculous! You're a freak. I should've known something was up with the way you always looked at everyone in the shower after Cheerios practice! And God, have you been perving on us in those skirts as well?"
"What? No, not at all!"
She gives you a scowl.
"Well, maybe a little, but not - fuck, Quinn - not like that. Please, don't tell anyone. Just - just forget I ever said this, okay? It never happened."
"I can't just ignore this, Santana!" she says, taking a step back, as if she's disgusted to be even near you. "I think it is my obligation to inform the other students, so that they can stay away from you. It's gross. It's - it's - it's preposterous!"
"Quinn - no - please don't!"
The sound of your cellphone drowns out her evil laughter and suddenly, you're jolted back into the real world. You feel how your body is sticky with sweat and you want to fucking cry that it was only a dream.
You grab your phone and look at the caller ID. It's Brittany.
"Hi," you say groggily.
"Hey, San!" She sounds chipper as ever. "Where are you? I'm waiting for you to pick me up!"
You look at the time.
Fuck.
"Look, Britt, can you catch another ride? I'm still in bed. I think I'm going to skip first period, it's just Biology. I'm really sorry, okay?"
"Okay. I'll just call Mike then."
"Fine. See you in Glee."
"Bye San!"
You get up and head for the shower. You let out a deep sigh as the hot water runs over your body. You try not to think about Quinn, or what it would be like to have her there with you.
Yesterday, you'd told yourself that today would be the day. Today, you would tell Quinn Fabray that you're in love with her and have been for the longest time. That you love the way she quirks her eyebrow, that you love the way her voice sounds early in the morning. You love how she always looks great in anything she wears. You love that small smile that tugs at her lips when she's touched by something. You love how she'll never admit it, because it means she understands that you never admit to such things either. You love how much she cares, and how she'll silently be the most loyal person there is. You love how strong she is. You love her handwriting. You love the way she always puts her left foot first and always skips cracks in the sidewalk because her uncle told her she'd be swallowed by a monster if she stepped in them when she was little, and even though she doesn't believe it anymore, it still kind of lingers. You love the way her eyes tell you everything you need to hear. You love how she doesn't need to announce to the world how good it is what she's doing. You love her silent strength. You love her voice, her laugh, her gentle smile. You love the fact that she's a fantasy nerd. Your heart breaks when she cries. You love the way she holds a cigarette on the very off chance she takes a smoke.
You don't really love the way the water's turned cold now, though. You get out of the shower and think about the day. Glee club. You hope mr Schue won't try to make you sing duets again, because you don't think you can stand to see her sing with some lame guy again, even though she's single right now.
You hate how happy that makes you.
It's not as if you stand a chance. Sure, you're a hot piece of ass, but you're a girl and she's as straight as they come. Sometimes, you wish you could just go away right now. Off to New York, or to California, wherever. Somewhere where you don't have to hide the fact that you'll take boobs over penis any day (as any normal person should, in your opinion).
Maybe you'll tell her tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or at prom, or at graduation. Or never, which is more likely, because you're so damn scared.
You go through the day. You talk to Quinn in class, pretend that nothing is wrong. You laugh along with her, half-heartedly. Your mind's not really in it.
When mr Schue finally arrives, you're surprised to see Quinn walk to the front of the choir room. "Mr. Schue, can I sing a song? I've prepared one."
"Sure, go ahead, Quinn."
She says something to the band as you brace yourself. You wonder who it'll be this time - what undeserving bastard will be fucking lucky enough to have a shot with her and undoubtedly not even fucking appreciate it because they won't see her the way you do, in all her awesome perfection.
"Okay, so," she clears her throat - she actually sounds nervous. "This one's for Santana."
You look up in surprise, your eyebrows finding their way upwards. Your heart starts to beat faster as she sings.
Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold only us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
You pinch yourself. This can't be happening. This isn't happening. You must've misunderstood. But she's sitting there, on that chair, looking straight at you.
I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long, I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold only us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah
The song fades out and you don't even notice that the other members of New Directions are just as surprised as you are.
You're even more surprised when she walks up to you with that soft smile, takes your hand and pulls you up. You think your brain will have redefined 'surprise' when she leans in and presses her lips against yours. After a few seconds, you relax and kiss her back and it's fucking amazing. Her lips are just like you imagined they would be - soft, moist, so very kissable. Her smell invades your senses. Suddenly, you kiss her back more intensely, realizing how much you need this.
Is this real life?
You expect to wake up any second, but you don't. The kiss stops, she cups your face, strokes your cheek with her thumb and looks at you, a hint of fear in her eyes.
"Quinn - I - wow."
"Santana?"
"I love you," you hear yourself say. "I love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray." For the first time out loud, for the first time for real. You've dreamt it so many times, you've thought it so many times, that it's almost strange hearing those words leave your lips. A little bit like saying goodbye, almost.
"I love you too, Santana Alexandra Lopez."
"Okay, guys, that's wonderful," Mr. Schue starts, but neither of you is really paying attention. Tina, who was sitting next to you, has taken another empty chair so that Quinn can join you. You hold hands throughout the rest of the meeting. It's a bit weird and totally not you, but apparently it's what Quinn wants and God knows you'll do anything for her.
Fin.
A/N: The song is Anywhere by Evanescence.