Never Been Kissed (By a Girl)
Title: Never Been Kissed (By a Girl)
Author: kalexico
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,013
Summary: When Quinn arrives at Yale to start a new life, she is not at all amused when she finds that she is sharing a dorm with Santana.
_______
"What the actual fuck?"
"Now when did you get such a potty mouth, Fabray?" Santana smirks, opening her last box.
"What are you doing here?" Quinn asks, dropping her bags in astonishment.
Santana raises her eyebrows and then gestures helplessly toward the room. "What does it look like I'm doing? I've nearly finished
unpacking. Want to go out and find dinner with me when we're done?"
Quinn is too stunned to respond instantly. Instead, she sits down on the unoccupied bed and takes a deep breath. This is not what she was expecting when she got into Yale early. This was not what she was expecting when she was leaving to start a new part of her life. How is she supposed to pretend high school never happened if she's sharing a dorm with it? She sighs.
Santana scowls. "Cat got your tongue?"
Quinn jerks her head toward Santana. "How did you pull this off?" she asks, disbelief lacing her voice.
Santana doesn't pretend not to know what Quinn is talking about. Her face changes from the usual scowl to a softness Quinn hasn't seen lately. In fact, it's been years since she has seen this look. "Honestly, this is just... I'd almost say fate, but you know I don't believe in that crap. You've been dreaming of going to Yale all your life, so you know the dorm rooms are assigned randomly. I didn't pull anything off. My family has no connections here. It's part of the reason why I wanted to go here, to break free from all that nepotistic crap."
"Why didn't you tell me you got into Yale? Hell, you were always talking about community college as your only option. How on Earth did you even manage to get into Yale with your grades?"
"What do you even know about my grades? Have you ever actually seen them?"
That silences Quinn. After a moment, she has to admit: "... no. What did you write your essay on anyway?"
Santana laughs mirthlessly. "To think we were supposed to be best friends. I used my years as a cheerleader for part of it. Then there's the fact that I never gave up to be the best, both in sports and in academics. We won Nationals with the Cheerios and we won several competitions with Glee club. I never went on those long holidays over Summer I bragged about - I actually volunteered at my Dad's hospital. I didn't lie about going to Africa, though, but it wasn't just for fun. I talked myself onto a service trip there with my dad for Doctors Without Borders. And then of course there's the fact I was a lesbian in a very unaccepting community, was forcibly outed but then owned it. And just because I didn't tell everyone that I had good grades doesn't mean I didn't get them, Fabray. I have just as much right to be here as you do. And seriously, what the fuck is your problem, acting so shocked?"
"I wanted to start over, Santana," Quinn snaps. "I wanted to leave high school behind, everything that happened. I wanted to start a new life and now my past will be sharing a fucking dorm with me."
"And you don't think I want the same thing? You don't think I want to leave high school behind? But I'm not bitching about having to share a dorm with you, am I?"
Quinn quirks an eyebrow. "You don't strike me as someone who's willing to change."
"Well, you obviously don't know me, blondie." She nearly spits out the final word.
And with those words, she grabs her wallet and storms out of the dorm room.
_______
When Santana hasn't returned a few hours later, Quinn starts to grow worried. She calls Santana, but apparently, she's changed her number.
Despite everything, Quinn still cares for Santana. She surely surprised her and she wants to know more - about how Santana wants to change. What she wants to change. What her plans are. What course she's actually taking.
When Santana finally stumbles inside, Quinn - who has already changed into her pajamas - hurries to help her out. She knows it's no use asking questions now, so she just puts Santana to bed, listening to her sobbing about pretty blondes.
Nothing new under the sun in that department.
_______
"I'm gay," Santana blurts out the next day as she's playing Angry Birds on her phone.
Again, Quinn doesn't know what to say. Her thoughts are running a mile a minute. What is she supposed to respond to that? "Obviously, I know, Santana."
"Fucking Finn," Santana mumbles. "I can't believe I slept with that dickhead."
Quinn rolls her eyes. "I knew long before that, Santana. You think I didn't notice your wandering eyes during Cheerios practice? Not to mention you're prone to oversharing when you're drunk."
"Yeah, well, when you put the fox in the henhouse..." Santana smirks. "Good times. Almost makes me regret not signing up for any sports teams here at Yale."
"What did you sign up for?" Quinn asks curiously. "And actually - what's your major?"
"History," Santana can't help but smile. "I hope to make it into The Yale Historical Review sometime. I signed up for Ya!Lesbians and the Mixed Company of Yale. I bet you went for Living Water?"
"No," Quinn frowns. "Why would you say that?"
"Oh, with your God Squad thing in McKinley I thought maybe you'd go for that. So what did you sign up for?"
"So far I'm in the Yale Dramatic Association and Ya!Lesbians, so that's a coincidence," Quinn blushes. "I thought you'd go for the Queer Political Action Committee, with your way of fighting for things."
Santana doesn't catch that last sentence. Hearing Quinn say she signed up for Ya!Lesbians is such a shock she actually fell off the bed.
"This is exactly why I wanted to start over in college," Quinn sighs, extending her hand to help Santana up. "Are you alright?"
"Damn, Q... you're really gay?"
Quinn thinks for a minute and then shrugs. "Yeah. I've always known, but it took me a long time to accept it."
"Hah!" Santana fistpumps. "I knew it! I knew you were a pressed lemon!"
"Get over yourself already," Quinn rolls her eyes. "You weren't exactly out and proud for the better part of high school either. So let's not make a big deal of this."
"Not a big deal? Quinn! You're gay! That's actually pretty fucking awesome. We can go to those meetings together, hook up with some chicks."
"I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that. I've never actually kissed a girl."
"No!"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"No way, Fabray. You gotta kiss a girl! It's amazing!"
"Yeah, well, who am I going to kiss?" Quinn snaps, annoyed. She'd never had the chance. She'd always been too afraid of being seen by someone and being outed. She would never be able to deal with that on top of everything else.
"I have an idea," Santana smirks.
"Y-yeah?" Quinn asks nervously. She can feel her hands getting clammy as Santana approaches her. "What's your idea."
"Now now, Quinn Fabray. If you're smart enough to get into Yale, you're smart enough to know what I mean."
"Santana, I don't think -"
"Shh," Santana whispers, putting a finger on Quinn's lips. "Consider yourself lucky, Fabray. Your first kiss with a girl is going to be totally hot, because you're kissing the best."
"Santana, no."
Santana frowns and huffs. "Fine."
_______
Quinn is vigorously working on a paper in the library. This is her first paper and she wants to do extraordinarily well, because she's never really been able to just be average. It's almost like she physically can't be.
It goes without saying that she's annoyed when Santana distracts her by strutting inside in that very appealing skirt. Quinn fixes her eyes on those long, shapely legs and as much as she tries to tear her eyes away, she just can't.
"Put your eyes back in their sockets, Fabray."
"What are you doing here, Santana?"
Santana frowns as she sets down her bag. "Doing schoolwork, obviously."
"This library is giant. Can't you go somewhere else?"
"Why? Am I distracting you with my hotness?" she asks, coming dangerously close. Quinn closes her eyes and tells herself to breathe.
"Santana," Quinn hisses. "I know you, you can't just shut up. Just - go work somewhere else. I'll go get dinner with you if you do."
"Deal," Santana grins, sashaying away.
Quinn sighs. She's not sure how much more of this she can take.
_______
Santana keeps trying to get Quinn to go to parties with her, but Quinn has never been much of a party girl. Sometimes, when she sees how Santana's dressed, she's very tempted to agree to go with her. She never does because she knows she won't survive.
Santana keeps trying to lure her into a kiss and Quinn keeps resisting.
Until she starts to wonder why.
_______
Quinn has finally decided she's ready. She's ready to take the leap and kiss a girl. Kiss Santana. She's nervous when she wants to tell her and she can't seem to find the words, so instead, she asks about last night's party.
"It was awesome," Santana grins, her eyes filled with something Quinn can't quite name. "I met this girl, her name's Sarah. We're going out on a date next week."
Quinn just turns around, refusing to even think about what the sinking feeling in her stomach means.
_______
Santana storms inside and instantly drops down on her bed, face-forward. "Fuck fuck fuck," she mumbles into her pillow.
Quinn quirks an eyebrow, stops tapping the keys on her computer and turns on her chair. "The good kind or the bad kind?"
Santana looks up and sighs. "Bad kind."
"Date from hell?"
"Not exactly. But she's got like, a girlfriend, or something? They're doing this break where they can see other people, but they're
still together, or some shit. I'm not abouts to get mixed up in that drama waiting to happen."
"I thought you loved to cause drama."
"I told you at the start of term, I'm not the Santana you know from high school anymore. I'm not going to be some girl's plaything until she throws me away to go back to her girlfriend. But damn, I hoped to get my mack on tonight."
Quinn's heart starts racing at those words. She licks her lips and does some quick thinking. Why the hell not, Fabray?
"Santana, I've changed my mind."
Santana frowns. "About what?"
"I want to be kissed by a girl. Preferably one I know."
"Are you saying..." Santana trails off.
Quinn nods.
About two hours of making out later, Quinn has to admit - reluctantly - that Santana is right. She is the best at kissing.