Kalin's Trip to Hell, or, Chicken Soup for the Chicken
This is a long email I wrote when I first moved here to be with Vonnie. I was coming from Dallas to Atlanta with everything I owned in one of those huge trailers with my car attached to the back. It's not that well-written, but it's a horrible comedy of errors that I managed to survive. There's the bit about my mom in there, too.
...
My trip began with me backing the trailer and truck out and getting it stuck at a 90 degree angle. I ran over parts of the neighbor's yard, and I had to call my friend Andy to back the truck out for me. It took him some time but he finally did get it back.
After driving a truck and trailer for 6 hours, I got in to Oklahoma in the middle of the night, my mother telling me that she was going to get me a motel room for the night if some guy stopped by. When I got there, the guy wasn't there, but my mother wanted to go the next night instead of the next morning. I knew it was for a booty call, but she wouldn't confirm this. She said that my sister's baby William needed to go to some school meeting at noon the next day. I said that we could leave at one when it would be over. She sighed and was quiet, not really saying yes or no because it would confirm her want to stay behind for this call. I mean, she never said anything about this school thing for William before I got there. I thought it was pretty clear that I was just picking her up so that I wouldn't be driving by myself. Oklahoma was not on my way, and so I wouldn't have shown up if I knew she had some(one)thing else she wanted to do.
She left the next morning and said that she wanted to go to some furniture place when she got back (instead of leaving) because there might be something there that I needed for the house. This was Tuesday and I hadn't had a chance to shower since Sat (perhaps Sunday) because all my things were in boxes. When she got back, she said that William's meeting was the next day at noon, not this day and she wanted me to wait until the next day in the afternoon to go. I was furious. I was already exhausted, dirty, and very disappointed about the way she had treated me (although not surprised) She talked to Vonnie on the phone and got very upset saying that Vonnie was the 'source' of my stress and that she was 'very determined' to get what she wanted. Vonnie had my interests at heart, tho, and my mother didn't. Again, no surprise there. I told her that I needed to be there by Friday to close on the house and had to turn the truck in on Monday. She said I had plenty of time and that everything was going to be fine.
Of course she would say that because she didn't really care. On her end, and as far as she was concerned, everything would be fine. It took me some more time to move a few other things into the truck and by the time I was done, I decided to go to sleep. It was going to be a 12+ hour drive and I really didn't want to end up there in the middle of the night.
The next morning, I was so angry at my mother that I didn't want her to go. Why have someone in the truck when I was likely just to push them out the door anyway? She padded over to me, with a very pitiful look on her face, telling me that she had gone to the bathroom and that there was blood on her poop. This turned into her colon in a later story. If I heard another story that focused on her and not on my obvious issues (Wednesday now, still no shower) then I was going to explode. I was actually about to cry. I dragged myself to the truck around noon and headed out on my own.
Now, the trip in an of itself was long and uneventful, but stressful nonetheless. I couldn't back the truck out of any space and so I had to be very careful when getting gas or stopping. I was panic stricken because I couldn't make a regular u-turn, or drive thru anywhere. Other than to gas up (which was 45-50 bucks a pop, filled like 5 times) I didn't really stop. It took me about 16 ish hours to get there, I think making it about 22 total because I got lost in Atlanta for two hours, driving around delirious at 3am with my mother's dead cell phone with an empty gas tank. I stopped and filled it with 5 bucks, only to drain it getting lost some more and having to stop again. I didn't want to hang around and gas up all the way. I was terrified.
By the time I arrived at Von's, I think it was 4:30am. I felt so frazzled and sick from all the stress of it all that dealing with the realtors was murder. Vonnie's phone, internet and cable had already been cut off, and most of her things were in boxes too. We were just waiting for them to turn off the other utilities. My car was hooked up and attached to the hitch, and so we couldn't go to the realtors to sign papers the next day, (at this point it was the 12th, I believe, closing was on Friday the 14th), but it turned out that it didn't really matter.
I was told by Vonnie when I arrived that since they couldn't get a hold of me earlier that week, they didn't do the paperwork for us to close on the 14th. They knew I was coming from Texas, Vonnie told them they couldn't get a hold of me because I was on the road, but still they took it as that I wasn't going to be here in time for closing. I was furious. I talked with them for a long time about this. They said for me to be there on the 14th and that I could close earlier if I got there before. I got there on the 12th, what more do they want? I told them that I had done everything that I was supposed to do. I paid 700 bucks for that truck that had to be back by Monday the 15th. We had people scheduled, family, that were coming out to help. I wanted to know what they were going to do about it. Five of us in that two bedroom shack, all our things in boxes, no phone or internet, no heat except small space heaters and the gas stove on 24/7.
The mortgage company said that they would pay for extra days on the truck and that they would apply for closing so that we could close Saturday. During this time, days came and went. I did what I could, which was not much. The drive had me sleeping for two days after in a state of waiting for tears. I had a guy remove my car from the hitch so that I could try and accomplish SOMETHING. I asked if we could move into the house before closing and was told no.
We didn't hear back from them until Monday, and they told us that the lawyers office was triple booked and that they were trying to get us an appointment. Tuesday we didn't hear from them, but I did hear from my mother on Vonnie's dying cell phone (Which we used only to contact the realtors. Her charger was packed in an unknown location and the phone went dead a few phone calls after my mother's). My mother called to see if I was mad at her (not if I was alright). When I told her yes, she blurted that she went to the Dr. about her colon and that it wasn't cancer. Good God Almighty, mother...cancer...you took a hard shit and you are giving me a guilt trip about cancer? I told her goodbye and haven't spoken to her since. Sure, and Vonnie is the source of my stress. Uh huh.
Wednesday we were told that Countrywide's (the finance company) computers went down.
Thursday I was told that I needed to give them copies of my tax returns and not just my w-2's. My stuff was all packed. I told them too bad. Vonnie washed my clothes everyday and I slept in her t-shirt. My hair itched because I was washing it in bar soap. I wore dirty socks most of the time because I didn't want to take them off to wash them because it was so cold in the place. I was pissed. They said that they were going to call the IRS to get copies. I said knock yourself out.
I got the call (from the grocery store payphone) that the IRS said they had no record of either me or my husband filing taxes since 1996 (??). At this point, my face looked completely washed out. "Well isn't that something.", I said tonelessly into the phone.
Friday, I stopped by their office and they showed me the 2001 and 2002 "tax returns" they had made for me (the realtors). I looked at them and nodded. Complete with a signature forgery. Nifty.
I told them to come pick me up when it was time to close. I didn't want to talk to them anymore.
They picked me up Saturday and took me down to the lawyers to sign the papers. I was not excited by this point, just merely drained and picturing bodies burning as Vonnie and I waved the Remax Cascade and Providian Financial Services Flags. I was told that closing costs were going to be lowered. I was also told by my latest enemy, Diana Martin of Providian, that I would be getting a check to refund more of the closing costs for all the "drama".
I took the check that I had from some stocks I sold and the check from the over amount paid on the closing costs and tried to open a checking account. I was told that I couldn't have access to my money for 9 days after opening the account. Since I felt that I would really need the money soon (I had thought about buying a car), I deposited the stock check and took the other check to a bank in the area that it came from, scribbling out the "for deposit only" that I had written on the back and praying that they would take it. I walked around with 1500 in cash in my purse for a week. It was quite unnerving.
That weekend we moved, done by Vonnie and myself. It took several trips because we didn't have the family help that we would have had if we had closed when we were supposed to. Now, on the contract, it did say that the closing date was March 14, and I was told this was just in case I ran behind. This was to save me fines of closing late. It also kept me from suing them.
On Sunday, my car broke down on the way home from one house to the other. Now the only transportation we had was the moving truck, and the public transportation doesn't run to Jonesboro where we moved to. Von ex's sister bumped my car with hers until we ended up in the parking lot of a Home Depot. Now the decision was, what to do with my car? Have it towed where? Who would tow it? How would we contact them? We didn't even have a phone book, and Vonnie was not familiar with this town we moved to. Was it worth fixing a 10 year old car?
On Monday, I bought a new car for Von. We put down $500. Its a Kia Rio. Its metallic gold in the light and metallic green in the shadows. Neat.
Now, this was the current problem. If I waited until that car appeared on my credit, I wouldn't be able to get approved for a car for me, so on Tuesday I bought another car. Its a Nissan Quest mini-van. Forest green. Loaded. Its got a VCR. Pointed in the direction of Home Depot and said "There's your trade-in."
Tuesday afternoon I returned the truck and trailer. When I returned home, Vonnie said that gas man and the electric man had come with work orders to shut off the service, which they did (the service wasn't in my name yet). We sadly sent the internet/phone man away an hour later since there was no electric now. We lit candles. We snuggled. Just another cold night.
On Wednesday, I went to get a receipt from the truck and trailer man so that Diana Martin, the financial services woman, could pay it. It was $900. I had already paid for the first week of 700$. The 900$ was for my 100$ deposit, plus the extra 300 fruitless miles I gathered while going to Oklahoma, and 50$ for the last fill-up I refused to do because I wanted to get rid of the truck. The remainder were the extra days, adding up to about 650$ that I wanted her to pay. She said she would pay them, that is until I called her on Wednesday.
I returned home from the truck place and Vonnie was dancing because we had the electric back on. She was able to finish drilling the front door for the new doorknob. We would be able to keep our door closed tonight without the aid of a box since the electric was cut off in mid-drilling the previous day. I crumpled on the steps with my head in my hands because I had just given my last $900 to the truck man. I looked over and saw my husbands electric bill, forwarded to me by mistake. Even better.
While I gone with the truck man, the phone rang with the wrong number. Evidently the phone from the previous owners was still hooked up. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, I called Diana Martin back and yelled at her for a while. She said I was trying to get a free ride.
"A free ride? You think any of this money is going in my pocket? You think that we just farted around, letting the truck sit in front of this house and taking it for joyrides for fun? Two women moved it by ourselves, it was REALLY cold last night even with all our blankets, there are three kids in this house, I went without a shower for almost a week, wearing the same clothes, we have had no phone, no internet, and no cable. All of our things are STILL in boxes. My friends and family haven't heard from me since I left, and I have 30 dollars left in my pocket. YOU said that you were going to cut me a check to lower the closing costs even more because of the "drama", but am I asking for that? NO. That would be looking for a free ride. YOU said you were going to pay for the truck, and you are going to."
Since I didn't know the number that I was calling from, she told me to call her back in 15 mins.
I waited. I smoked.
I smoked some more.
I called her back and she offered to pay me $450.
I offered to talk to my lawyer.
She offered me $664, which was the amount minus the gas fee and the extra Oklahoma mileage fee.
I told her that was acceptable and to mail me a check.
Its now Thursday and I'm tired. All the time in between this story has been spent unpacking and rebuilding all that we had to take down to move. I am surprised that we have accomplished as much as we have. We have internet and cable, but no phone until March 10th. We still have the "mystery phone", but who knows how long that will last. Hopefully until the 10th. I think I've been to Home Depot three or four times, CompUSA twice (My computer broke too. It broke my fall when I slipped down the muddy ravine, carrying the tower to the moving truck. Vonnie fixed it), and the grocery store countless times. I would love a day where I could stay home and unpack. I fixed the downstairs toilet. Had to take it out of the floor. Not a nice job.
...
On a side note, that check from Diana Martin bounced twice. I called the bank every day for two weeks until there was enough to cover it and bolted to the bank to cash it.
...
My trip began with me backing the trailer and truck out and getting it stuck at a 90 degree angle. I ran over parts of the neighbor's yard, and I had to call my friend Andy to back the truck out for me. It took him some time but he finally did get it back.
After driving a truck and trailer for 6 hours, I got in to Oklahoma in the middle of the night, my mother telling me that she was going to get me a motel room for the night if some guy stopped by. When I got there, the guy wasn't there, but my mother wanted to go the next night instead of the next morning. I knew it was for a booty call, but she wouldn't confirm this. She said that my sister's baby William needed to go to some school meeting at noon the next day. I said that we could leave at one when it would be over. She sighed and was quiet, not really saying yes or no because it would confirm her want to stay behind for this call. I mean, she never said anything about this school thing for William before I got there. I thought it was pretty clear that I was just picking her up so that I wouldn't be driving by myself. Oklahoma was not on my way, and so I wouldn't have shown up if I knew she had some(one)thing else she wanted to do.
She left the next morning and said that she wanted to go to some furniture place when she got back (instead of leaving) because there might be something there that I needed for the house. This was Tuesday and I hadn't had a chance to shower since Sat (perhaps Sunday) because all my things were in boxes. When she got back, she said that William's meeting was the next day at noon, not this day and she wanted me to wait until the next day in the afternoon to go. I was furious. I was already exhausted, dirty, and very disappointed about the way she had treated me (although not surprised) She talked to Vonnie on the phone and got very upset saying that Vonnie was the 'source' of my stress and that she was 'very determined' to get what she wanted. Vonnie had my interests at heart, tho, and my mother didn't. Again, no surprise there. I told her that I needed to be there by Friday to close on the house and had to turn the truck in on Monday. She said I had plenty of time and that everything was going to be fine.
Of course she would say that because she didn't really care. On her end, and as far as she was concerned, everything would be fine. It took me some more time to move a few other things into the truck and by the time I was done, I decided to go to sleep. It was going to be a 12+ hour drive and I really didn't want to end up there in the middle of the night.
The next morning, I was so angry at my mother that I didn't want her to go. Why have someone in the truck when I was likely just to push them out the door anyway? She padded over to me, with a very pitiful look on her face, telling me that she had gone to the bathroom and that there was blood on her poop. This turned into her colon in a later story. If I heard another story that focused on her and not on my obvious issues (Wednesday now, still no shower) then I was going to explode. I was actually about to cry. I dragged myself to the truck around noon and headed out on my own.
Now, the trip in an of itself was long and uneventful, but stressful nonetheless. I couldn't back the truck out of any space and so I had to be very careful when getting gas or stopping. I was panic stricken because I couldn't make a regular u-turn, or drive thru anywhere. Other than to gas up (which was 45-50 bucks a pop, filled like 5 times) I didn't really stop. It took me about 16 ish hours to get there, I think making it about 22 total because I got lost in Atlanta for two hours, driving around delirious at 3am with my mother's dead cell phone with an empty gas tank. I stopped and filled it with 5 bucks, only to drain it getting lost some more and having to stop again. I didn't want to hang around and gas up all the way. I was terrified.
By the time I arrived at Von's, I think it was 4:30am. I felt so frazzled and sick from all the stress of it all that dealing with the realtors was murder. Vonnie's phone, internet and cable had already been cut off, and most of her things were in boxes too. We were just waiting for them to turn off the other utilities. My car was hooked up and attached to the hitch, and so we couldn't go to the realtors to sign papers the next day, (at this point it was the 12th, I believe, closing was on Friday the 14th), but it turned out that it didn't really matter.
I was told by Vonnie when I arrived that since they couldn't get a hold of me earlier that week, they didn't do the paperwork for us to close on the 14th. They knew I was coming from Texas, Vonnie told them they couldn't get a hold of me because I was on the road, but still they took it as that I wasn't going to be here in time for closing. I was furious. I talked with them for a long time about this. They said for me to be there on the 14th and that I could close earlier if I got there before. I got there on the 12th, what more do they want? I told them that I had done everything that I was supposed to do. I paid 700 bucks for that truck that had to be back by Monday the 15th. We had people scheduled, family, that were coming out to help. I wanted to know what they were going to do about it. Five of us in that two bedroom shack, all our things in boxes, no phone or internet, no heat except small space heaters and the gas stove on 24/7.
The mortgage company said that they would pay for extra days on the truck and that they would apply for closing so that we could close Saturday. During this time, days came and went. I did what I could, which was not much. The drive had me sleeping for two days after in a state of waiting for tears. I had a guy remove my car from the hitch so that I could try and accomplish SOMETHING. I asked if we could move into the house before closing and was told no.
We didn't hear back from them until Monday, and they told us that the lawyers office was triple booked and that they were trying to get us an appointment. Tuesday we didn't hear from them, but I did hear from my mother on Vonnie's dying cell phone (Which we used only to contact the realtors. Her charger was packed in an unknown location and the phone went dead a few phone calls after my mother's). My mother called to see if I was mad at her (not if I was alright). When I told her yes, she blurted that she went to the Dr. about her colon and that it wasn't cancer. Good God Almighty, mother...cancer...you took a hard shit and you are giving me a guilt trip about cancer? I told her goodbye and haven't spoken to her since. Sure, and Vonnie is the source of my stress. Uh huh.
Wednesday we were told that Countrywide's (the finance company) computers went down.
Thursday I was told that I needed to give them copies of my tax returns and not just my w-2's. My stuff was all packed. I told them too bad. Vonnie washed my clothes everyday and I slept in her t-shirt. My hair itched because I was washing it in bar soap. I wore dirty socks most of the time because I didn't want to take them off to wash them because it was so cold in the place. I was pissed. They said that they were going to call the IRS to get copies. I said knock yourself out.
I got the call (from the grocery store payphone) that the IRS said they had no record of either me or my husband filing taxes since 1996 (??). At this point, my face looked completely washed out. "Well isn't that something.", I said tonelessly into the phone.
Friday, I stopped by their office and they showed me the 2001 and 2002 "tax returns" they had made for me (the realtors). I looked at them and nodded. Complete with a signature forgery. Nifty.
I told them to come pick me up when it was time to close. I didn't want to talk to them anymore.
They picked me up Saturday and took me down to the lawyers to sign the papers. I was not excited by this point, just merely drained and picturing bodies burning as Vonnie and I waved the Remax Cascade and Providian Financial Services Flags. I was told that closing costs were going to be lowered. I was also told by my latest enemy, Diana Martin of Providian, that I would be getting a check to refund more of the closing costs for all the "drama".
I took the check that I had from some stocks I sold and the check from the over amount paid on the closing costs and tried to open a checking account. I was told that I couldn't have access to my money for 9 days after opening the account. Since I felt that I would really need the money soon (I had thought about buying a car), I deposited the stock check and took the other check to a bank in the area that it came from, scribbling out the "for deposit only" that I had written on the back and praying that they would take it. I walked around with 1500 in cash in my purse for a week. It was quite unnerving.
That weekend we moved, done by Vonnie and myself. It took several trips because we didn't have the family help that we would have had if we had closed when we were supposed to. Now, on the contract, it did say that the closing date was March 14, and I was told this was just in case I ran behind. This was to save me fines of closing late. It also kept me from suing them.
On Sunday, my car broke down on the way home from one house to the other. Now the only transportation we had was the moving truck, and the public transportation doesn't run to Jonesboro where we moved to. Von ex's sister bumped my car with hers until we ended up in the parking lot of a Home Depot. Now the decision was, what to do with my car? Have it towed where? Who would tow it? How would we contact them? We didn't even have a phone book, and Vonnie was not familiar with this town we moved to. Was it worth fixing a 10 year old car?
On Monday, I bought a new car for Von. We put down $500. Its a Kia Rio. Its metallic gold in the light and metallic green in the shadows. Neat.
Now, this was the current problem. If I waited until that car appeared on my credit, I wouldn't be able to get approved for a car for me, so on Tuesday I bought another car. Its a Nissan Quest mini-van. Forest green. Loaded. Its got a VCR. Pointed in the direction of Home Depot and said "There's your trade-in."
Tuesday afternoon I returned the truck and trailer. When I returned home, Vonnie said that gas man and the electric man had come with work orders to shut off the service, which they did (the service wasn't in my name yet). We sadly sent the internet/phone man away an hour later since there was no electric now. We lit candles. We snuggled. Just another cold night.
On Wednesday, I went to get a receipt from the truck and trailer man so that Diana Martin, the financial services woman, could pay it. It was $900. I had already paid for the first week of 700$. The 900$ was for my 100$ deposit, plus the extra 300 fruitless miles I gathered while going to Oklahoma, and 50$ for the last fill-up I refused to do because I wanted to get rid of the truck. The remainder were the extra days, adding up to about 650$ that I wanted her to pay. She said she would pay them, that is until I called her on Wednesday.
I returned home from the truck place and Vonnie was dancing because we had the electric back on. She was able to finish drilling the front door for the new doorknob. We would be able to keep our door closed tonight without the aid of a box since the electric was cut off in mid-drilling the previous day. I crumpled on the steps with my head in my hands because I had just given my last $900 to the truck man. I looked over and saw my husbands electric bill, forwarded to me by mistake. Even better.
While I gone with the truck man, the phone rang with the wrong number. Evidently the phone from the previous owners was still hooked up. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, I called Diana Martin back and yelled at her for a while. She said I was trying to get a free ride.
"A free ride? You think any of this money is going in my pocket? You think that we just farted around, letting the truck sit in front of this house and taking it for joyrides for fun? Two women moved it by ourselves, it was REALLY cold last night even with all our blankets, there are three kids in this house, I went without a shower for almost a week, wearing the same clothes, we have had no phone, no internet, and no cable. All of our things are STILL in boxes. My friends and family haven't heard from me since I left, and I have 30 dollars left in my pocket. YOU said that you were going to cut me a check to lower the closing costs even more because of the "drama", but am I asking for that? NO. That would be looking for a free ride. YOU said you were going to pay for the truck, and you are going to."
Since I didn't know the number that I was calling from, she told me to call her back in 15 mins.
I waited. I smoked.
I smoked some more.
I called her back and she offered to pay me $450.
I offered to talk to my lawyer.
She offered me $664, which was the amount minus the gas fee and the extra Oklahoma mileage fee.
I told her that was acceptable and to mail me a check.
Its now Thursday and I'm tired. All the time in between this story has been spent unpacking and rebuilding all that we had to take down to move. I am surprised that we have accomplished as much as we have. We have internet and cable, but no phone until March 10th. We still have the "mystery phone", but who knows how long that will last. Hopefully until the 10th. I think I've been to Home Depot three or four times, CompUSA twice (My computer broke too. It broke my fall when I slipped down the muddy ravine, carrying the tower to the moving truck. Vonnie fixed it), and the grocery store countless times. I would love a day where I could stay home and unpack. I fixed the downstairs toilet. Had to take it out of the floor. Not a nice job.
...
On a side note, that check from Diana Martin bounced twice. I called the bank every day for two weeks until there was enough to cover it and bolted to the bank to cash it.