Oh, my poor neglected Live Journal...

[kalisti23]

It's been too long. But at least here I can post something more than a few lines long and I know that only a few trusted people will actually read it, rather than the public life that Facebook has become

Comments

[dragonwrites]

i guess the question is who would you tell? if you knew the girl's mom, you could definitely tell her (esp. if she's your ex-brother's ex). your mother already knows. could you tell her psychologist or the school? because who else would there be to tell?

doesn't seem like overstepping your boundaries. if you are molested by a person who has never been convicted of such behavior, it seems perfectly right that the family should be alerted. then again, if your mom knows, is it possible the rest of the family has been alerted? if you think not, i don't see why you shouldn't tell the kid's mom, "the reason i never spoke to x is because he molested me and i just want to be alert to the possibility that it's happened to your daughter." worst thing that could happen is that she doesn't want to talk to you, and you're not friends with her anyway.

definitely, it seems like you should make an effort to be a really good auntie so that she knows she can talk to you if she wants.

[asavitzk]

It sounds like you already feel you should be talking with her mother and just need a little virtual push.

::push::

[hvyhvymonster]

seconded. pushed.

[anonymous]

The main problem is that you ARE a can of worms.

[kalisti23]

??????? Is this someone I know or just some random asshole being funny?

[guy_todd]

Random a$$hol3 maybe, funny not so much.

[plumtreeblossom]

It might help you to decide what to do by talking to your own mother. She might be able to provide insight into how best to protect the girl.

There is also the possibility that you could write to her teacher or counselor at the residential school, once she's there. At the very least, you could provide some context regarding her father and his history of sexual abusing. Their knowing about it could help them reach through the layers of her problems more effectively.

[kalisti23]

There are complications. As I mentioned, the girl's mom is unstable. I've learned my lesson about getting involved in personal drama with people like that. Some of you who go to gothy things in Boston or Providence might actually know her, so if you want to know her name ask me privately. As I say, I don't know her personally, so I don't know how risky it is to make that kind of contact.

I've considered talking to my mom, since she is the girl's secondary caregiver and would have her best interest in mind. No easy task, however. We hardly ever talk about it, and it's a really hard thing for me to open up about (I could easily go on national television and tell the story, but speaking to members of my family is another thing entirely).

I don't want anyone to get hurt by my coming forward. I'm afraid the mother would freak out and break off contact with my mom, which would be really bad for the child. Can I legally contact the doctor and say, "This happened to me. Please look for the signs, but leave me out of it"?