Mental Blocks

[kamaukaraarashi]

I've always known this to be true, but I found myself a bit surprised still at seeing how when people get older, they disconnect themselves even further. More walls seperate them from everyone around them, and not really always in the sense of "I'm hiding and I don't want you to see what's really inside." but more in the sense of "I am seperate from everyone and everything." This sense of individualism comes along with independence which comes along with the coming of age and more responsibilities. As we get older or views narrow and we become hardened in our ways. Less susceptable to change and thus disliking something new, or a drastic change in the enviroment. That worst part of it is, even though people have this view of being completely seperated they do not have the strength of the individual which is what I believe everyone needs to have but thier defense is flawed. They seperate themselves from the world but still let the world influence them internally. I found myself confronted with an individual who honestly believed that "you can't possibly understand b/c I am me and I am all alone, complete unto myself, disconnected, and you'll never get it." Well... she became a bit upset (defensive) in the middle of the breakroom when she found that I "understood" alot more than she thought I could. It is true that is almost impossible to know every little thing about a person, b/c they are not in your shoes; however, that doesn't mean that they will be clueless or not come very very close. I understand her defensivness feeling as though she were a book, ironic that the topic that started the discussion was books, but some people must realize that there is a world outside your mind and that you are not as disconnected as you think you are and that we are very much connected to virtually everything. I know this is starting to sound like Arjuna or some tree-hugger spiritual stuff, but I have had this sense since I was very young. Nature. It is all connected, and perhaps that is why I am a "nature freak". It's been nothing but a sense of strength for me. People cut themselves off so much and despair at this lonliness that is self-created. Of course, if you don't try to understand others, they will never understand you. If you don't trust others, why should they trust you? People always feel that understanding, and closeness, leads to weaknesses. Someone knowing something about you and possibly using it against you someday is a fear that most people seem to have. There is always a risk, in every single interaction that takes place between two people, but do you want to live in a bubble? Please don't say I don't understand, I have many scars. I know how life can feel like a war and you don't know what the hell your doing here and your just trying to survive and there is pain and anger all around... it's fear, and they are just as scared if not more scared than you are. We all need protection, and it's perfectly natural to have a shell, but make sure it's a shell meant to shield, not to cage.

"In the river that is life, being solid makes for turbulence in the water, but become like the water, fluid, and it's simply a ride to enjoy."