A piece of Kame for romapi (Part 2/2)
"For goodness sake, Ryo,” Jin complains angrily. “Would you please finally pick up your phone?”
I sigh as I grab my phone and reject the call. “I can’t,” I grumble. “I can’t talk to him. To any of them, actually.”
“Why ever not?” Jin sighs.
“Because I… if I hadn’t been so much of a pain maybe someone would have believed me,” I whine. “Now they all were suspended because of me.”
“They weren’t suspended because of you,” Jin impresses on me. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But… they were suspended because we were there. Because I was there,” I keep going. “What if they hate me now?”
“Oh, come on, please, that’s ridiculous,” Jin sighs, rolling his eyes. “You haven’t talked to any of them in days. Just pick up your fucking phone already. Why do you think they keep calling non-stop?”
“To tell me that they’re gonna kill me?” I suggest miserably.
“Ryo, that’s ridiculous and you know it.”
I simply shrug. Then I sigh. My head is spinning so bad I don’t know what to do with myself.
“I’ll be going for a walk,” I decide.
I quickly grab my jacket and head out. It’s not like I am headed for somewhere in particular. I merely want to clear my head with some fresh air. As I wonder around aimlessly, I spot the park I like to visit and fling myself down on a bench. I look up at the sky. It almost feels like even the sky wants to depress me. It’s not particularly heavy with clouds, but there is not a single star to see. I sigh deeply. How did I get into this mess? I tried really hard to find my way back into an at least somewhat normal life. Now I got not only myself into trouble again, but my friends too. Suspended. And who knows what the principle will decide… A strange whining sound suddenly pulls me out of my spinning thoughts. I blink as I see a pair of familiar eyes inspecting me excitedly.
~* Ne, doushitai? Nanimo nozomu no kai? *~
(Hey, how do you want it? What do you wish for?)
“Oh, hello, you,” I greet Kuma-chan. “Did you run away again? That’s no good,” I scold the dog, seemingly without any good reason, it’s not like I could actually argue with him like this. He looks delighted, though. “Your master will be worried. Well, he’s not really your master, is he? But then… He likes you and wants you safe. I know you don’t understand, but I’m sure he will find a way to take care of you properly.” I pet the dog, who starts to make the most interesting sound - it sounds like joyful whining. “Come on,” I say, getting up, “let’s bring you home, shall we?”
Curiously Kuma-chan actually treads off right behind me. We walk down the street that is neatly lit with street lamps, some people eye me warily, because I have no leash, but nobody approaches me about it. Just as I realize that I don’t have a plan concerning possibly meeting Kame, who must be looking for his dog, I hear a voice calling out up front.
“Kuma-chaa~n!!!” And sure enough the second later Kame comes into clear view, running up towards us. “There you are,” he laughs, obviously relieved. He crouches down and pets the animal excitedly. “Why do you keep strolling around like this? I’m always so worried. Really…” After having greeted Kuma-chan properly Kame finally straightens up again and looks at me. I cannot help the tight knot twisting in the pitch of my stomach. What is he going to do now? I was such a jerk - again. And there is nothing I can say to explain, or even apologize. Oh, how I wish I could just…
~* Kochi oide yo mitsu dake kiku kara. *~
(Come here to me, ‘cause I will only listen to 3 of your wishes.)
I freeze as a strange sensation washes over me. For a second I think he’s trying to hit me, but then, although I find myself restrained, suddenly I’m feeling warm. He’s… hugging me?! But… what is going on now? I can feel his arms around my body, holding me close, or maybe clinging to me, I’m not sure. I totally don’t know what to make of it, though. Last time we parted he was furious, we were yelling at each other and now…
“Thank you.” My eyes grow wide as I hear his slightly broken voice softly against my ear. “Thank you so much.”
It’s a strange sensation, in many ways. Foremost, though, the feeling of being embraced feels alien. I’ve grown accustomed to being around people again and actually also enjoy their company, but this is something I haven’t experienced in a very long time. My face feels hot - am I blushing? No way, I’m no fucking girl, getting embarrassed when being touched. And why such a reaction… with him? I am completely lost to the situation. I don’t even think of pushing him away, I merely stand there, baffled.
“I’m sorry,” I finally manage. A stupid thing to say right now, but I can’t help it. I want him to know what I’m feeling. Well, maybe not all of it, but this, this is important and I want him to know.
Kame laughs lightly against my shoulder. “You’re sorry? Man, you have some confidence issues. It’s not like you did anything wrong. So why would you feel guilty?”
I feel a weight lifted from my chest and cannot restrain myself from hugging Kame back.
“I thought you would hate me,” I whisper, still feeling guilty, despite his kind words.
“Idiot,” he answers and it sounds like a pet name. “Why would I hate you? Because of something like that?”
“I don’t know,” I mutter, “but I was afraid that you would.”
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
My eyes fly open and my face heats up again. I want to cry out in protest as Kame pulls back to look at me, but there is nothing I can do. I bemourn the loss of his warmth and at the same time I feel myself panicking. No. I cannot look at him directly. Not right now.
~* Me wo tojite furete miro boku no karada ni kono yubi ni… *~
(Close your eyes and try to touch my body with these fingers…)
“Hey, I just asked you something,” Kame presses and I don’t know what to do.
“I…” I finally stutter, “I have only caused trouble for everybody, ever since I came here. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were tired of me by now.”
I blink as Kame smiles at me. “You really are an idiot,” he states. Why does it sound like a confession when he says that word to me? Am I losing my mind? “Haven’t I caused you trouble?” Kame asks, raising a brow. “You even made the effort to bring Kuma-chan back to me.”
I blink at the dog that is wheezing around the two of us excitedly and I have to smile at the picture. “But that’s… different,” I argue.
“How?”
“Well, I… you were suspended because of me,” I impress on him. “Aren’t you mad?”
“Nah,” Kame waves me off. “No such thing,” he assures me. “Actually, you’ve saved me three times by now.”
“I saved you?” I blink, confused. What is he talking about?
“Well, two times you found my dog,” he explains. “And you saved me from starving.”
I have to laugh at that. “You mean when I shared my lunch with you? I don’t see how that is anything special.”
Suddenly Kame’s face darkens and I want to slap myself for saying something that obviously bothers him. But what is it?
“I don’t like it,” he tells me, “when you say things like that. Why is it that you can’t see what’s special… about you?”
“Uhm…” I don’t know what to say. I merely shrug helplessly.
“You have no idea, do you?” he asks, his eyes shining brightly again. “How grateful I am for all of this. For meeting you. You know, Jun and Pi, they’re really good friends. But when it’s about… well, important things, I cannot talk to them. So I’m glad that I have you, because it’s easy to talk to you about such things.”
“Oh. Really?”
Kame nods his head. “Really. And I want to show you how important this is to me. I want to do something for you too.”
I blink at that, once again confused both with his words and his strange way of thinking.
“What do you want to do?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Whatever you want me to. Whatever you need. How about this? You saved me, three times. So you can make any three wishes to me and I’ll answer the call.”
“What - three wishes? How is that even supposed to work?”
“Well, you just tell me what your wish is and I’ll do whatever is needed.”
“That’s definitely not possible,” I frown.
“It is,” Kame opposes. “I’ll hear you. No matter what it is.”
I can’t help smiling. Kame is really… Well, he’s special.
“I’d have one for you, right now,” I tell him.
Kame merely blinks at me and I have to laugh slightly.
“A wish,” I explain.
“Oh, what is it?” he wants to know.
“Can you give me another one? Can you… hug me? Like you did just now?”
~* Kimi ga nozonda. Hitotsume wo ima. Kanaete yaru yo. Dakishimeru yo. *~
(The first of your wishes, right now, I will grant it for you. I will hug you.)
The second I say the words they feel like I’ve given away too much. I can’t even grasp “too much” of what exactly. There is no time to dwell on it, though. I jump slightly in surprise as Kame doesn’t even answer and instead I find myself engulfed in warm arms again and the strangest sensation runs through my body. I’ve heard the phrase “tears of happiness” but I could never associate anything with it. Now I have to fight back tears and I don’t even know why. The feeling I have is actually warm and cosy. Somehow I’m feeling… relieved? Oh, it doesn’t matter. I simply let myself fall into this guy’s arms, someone I met only weeks ago, but feel like I’ve known him forever. So warm, so safe, so comfortable.
I feel the blush creeping up my face again, but I don’t mind. On the contrary, I’m so lost in this, I rub my face against his shoulder and can’t help the delighted sigh that escapes my lips as I take in the unique and wonderful smell that is Kame. I don’t know how long we stay like this. It must be a while. My legs start to hurt because of the weird immobile position I’m in, but I’m yet reluctant to let go. At one point we have to part, though, and even though I suddenly feel slightly cold my body still tingles. As I look at Kame I see his back turned to me and I frown.
“Ah… so, that was one,” he says and his voice sounds tight. “It’s just one wish per day. So, think about what else you want at least until tomorrow. I had better take Kuma-chan back now. Good night.”
And without looking back he grabs the little dog and rushes off into the night, leaving me behind, blinking.
****
“Ryo-chan is in love.”
I blink, then frown at Jin.
“What are you talking about?”
The other merely grins at me. “You look dreamy. Like a girl who just got her first kiss from the guy she likes. So cute.”
“I am not a girl,” I tell him, making sure to send him a good glare. I’m not a touchy person, but damn it, I’m sick of the cute little teenage girl remarks. I am a man, after all.
“Hey, I was just kidding,” Jin quickly tries to back out. Obviously he got the hint. “You just looked so lost in your thoughts. And it seemed like they were good thoughts. Care to share something?”
“I could take you up on your act the other day and share something that will show you just how much of a man I actually am,” I bite at him. The moment I said the words I already regret them. Jin is actually an okay guy and I quite like him. Why am I being so…
“My, touchy guy,” Jin analyses quite matter-of-factly.
“Sorry,” I mumble. “I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay,” he shrugs. “I’d take you up on that offer any time, actually. You’re hot. I just think that there’s something… someone? On your mind?”
I bite my lip. Is that it? Do I like Kame? I sigh.
“I don’t know… It’s been a while.”
“So there is someone?” Jin presses.
~* Mou tomaranai kodou ga afure. *~
(It can no longer be concealed. My heartbeat is out of control.)
I give him a dirty look, but answer the question. “Someone at school. He’s… cute, I think.”
“You think?”
“Okay, he is cute, definitely.” I sigh again, shaking my head. “It doesn’t matter, though. He’s nice to me, but he doesn’t… fell that way.”
“And you know this how?” Jin wants to know.
My face heats slightly at the memory of what happened earlier.
“Well, I…” I mutter, “I stole a hug of him tonight. He offered to do something to help me and I said I wanted a hug. He did it too, but the moment he let go he turned and simply left me standing there.”
Jin stares at me as if I just told him I burnt a 10.000 yen note.
“What?!” I ask, blinking.
“So… you guys met,” Jin tries to construct an image.
“By accident,” I explain. “His dog ran away and I found him in the park. I wanted to bring the little fella back and we somehow met along the way.”
“And then you just… what - jumped him?”
“No,” I burst out making a face. “Actually… he hugged me.”
“You’re not making any sense,” Jin tells me, looking quite helpless and I have to chuckle.
“Sorry,” I apologize. “He was being happy that I found Kuma-chan. So he just hugged me spontaneously. Nothing much.”
“But you said you stole it,” Jin reminds me.
“Well… I liked it.” I can’t believe I just said that. “And… I was still feeling bad, because he and Pi were suspended because of me.”
“They were suspended with you,” Jin corrects me.
“If I hadn’t been there, they wouldn’t have been in trouble. I’ve been a trouble-maker for weeks, so naturally when we were found there everybody concluded I had done something. At any rate, I was just happy that Kame wasn’t mad at me. But then he said it’s perfectly fine and that he was happy that we met and that I kept saving him when he was in trouble.”
“The essence of the statement is still lacking.”
“Yeah, sorry. Well, I was feeling wary and he said he wanted to do something for me too and if I had any kind of wish, I could tell him and he would do whatever it takes. And so I said I wanted another hug. And then…”
“Oh my god,” Jin bursts out. “You are an idiot.”
I instantly recognize the difference of the effect the word “idiot” has on me when Jin says it and not Kame. And then Jin says something that fills me with wonderful horror.
“He likes you. This guy likes you. He must. Why else would he first comply to your wish and then turn and run? Most probably he was red up to his ears and didn’t want you to see it. Seems you’re equally blind… You guys must be quite a match.”
My stomach twists as I take his words in and consider the possibility. Suddenly it makes perfect sense. Everything. Of course, that was it. How could I have missed it?
“I really am an idiot…”
I don’t even wait for Jin’s teasing remark, which I’m sure is already somewhere on the tip of his tongue. I just have to jump up and run. There is only one thought in my head right now. Kame. I have to see him. Somewhere in the back of my mind I think I register Jin calling out my name. But I don’t have the time to look back, I simply rush downstairs and out of the house. I don’t even mind waiting for the bus. I simply run. The muscles in my legs are straining, my lungs burning, but I couldn’t care less. I don’t even mind the rain as it starts falling down, wetting my hair and clothes. I just keep running - further, faster, until I think I’ll pass out, just that in that very moment I see lights from the windows of a familiar house…
~* Kimi wa kizuita, ne? Osaeteta mono wo hodoitara kanjite miro. *~
(You’re aware of it, right? Of this thing that we’ve held in. Try to feel it once it is unleashed.)
****
“Why am I such an idiot?” Kame complains, flinging back onto his sofa, covering his face with a small pillow.
“Relax,” Yamapi sighs, rolling his eyes. “It’s not the end of the world. I mean, he wanted to you to hug him. So he must like you at least a bit.”
“I don’t want him to like me just a bit,” Kame retorts, his voice muffled by the pillow.
“Well, maybe you should talk to him,” Yamapi suggests.
“I can’t look at him.”
“You can always just go and kiss him.”
The pillow is lifted from Kame’s face. “You’re really not helping,” he glares at Yamapi.
“Well, I wonder what you’re expecting me to do,” Yamapi shrugs. “I can’t walk up to him and kiss him for you. But if you won’t do anything sometime soon, I swear, I’ll make my own move. I’ve been holding back, because I know you like him. But if simply give up like this, then I’ll give it a try.”
“No, I… I will talk to him,” Kame decides, his face determined.
“Really?” Yamapi asks, raising a brow.
Kame pouts at him for a moment, then he breaks down. “I don’t know how,” he whines. “Why can’t I like a guy like you?”
“What kind would that be?”
“Simple.”
“Oi,” Yamapi complains. “I’m not… well, not that simple. I could take you too, though.”
Kame squeals as Yamapi jumps him out of the blue, wrestling him to the ground.
“Let go of me, stupid Casanova,” Kame complains. “As if I’d let you touch me.”
Yamapi chuckles, starting to tickle Kame’s sides, making him giggle, while he’s still struggling to free himself.
****
Big shocked eyes stare me down as the door in front of me opens.
“Nishikido-kun…”
“Good evening, Kamenashi-san,” I greet Kame’s mother, trying to sound as even as possible. “I’m sorry, I… I was surprised by the rain and… I don’t mean to disturb you, I…”
“Oh, poor boy,” Kame’s mother bursts out and shushes me inside. “I’ll bring you a towel, dear. Kazuya is upstairs in his room, go right through.”
“Thank you,” I say gratefully.
I climb the stairs carefully. Suddenly I feel wary again. Was it really a good idea to come just like that? And what am I expecting? That he’ll just hug me again and kiss me and we’ll be happy together? Is it really that simple? I shake my head in order to clear it. It’s no good to pull back again now. So I simply walk up to Kame’s room, knock on the door and open it. The picture I find inside makes my guts twists. Yamapi and Kame are sprawled out on the couch, Pi half on top of the guy that I like. As I step in, both their heads turn to look at me.
“Oh, Ryo-chan,” Yamapi greets me as if nothing much was going on.
I’m rooted in place, the picture in front of me burnt into my mind. My body starts to shake, I try, but I can’t control it and when I feel tears welling up in my eyes, I turn on the spot and run. Back out the room, downstairs and out of the house. I run someone over, but I pay no mind to it, don’t even turn to apologize, I simply run.
****
“Fuck,” Kame curses, pushing Yamapi off forcefully to rush after Ryo.
“Kame, stop,” Yamapi calls after him, rushing downstairs in order to keep him from running outside.
It’s to no avail, though. Kame is already out as he reaches the end of the staircase. He sighs.
“That’s it, you idiot. I’m so not running back all the way after you too.”
Yamapi blink as he hears another loud voice outside. As he steps into the door he finds another soaked young man out there.
“Hi,” he greets the stranger.
Jin blinks at the guy standing in the door. He’s still out of breath, but he grins.
“Oh, hi,” he greets back. “You’re not Kame, are you?”
Yamapi shakes his head. “No, Kame just…”
“I see,” Jin sighs.
“And you are?” Yamapi wants to know.
“Oh, er… sorry. I’m Akanishi Jin. Ryo and I share a room at the apartments.”
“Oh, so you are Jin,” Yamapi nods.
“And I expect you must be Jun or Pi?” Jin guesses.
“My name is Yamashita Tomohisa,” Yamapi explains.
“Okay,” Jin nods. “So… is it Jun or Pi?”
Yamapi rolls his eyes. “Pi,” he answers evenly.
“Ah, so you’re the hopeless playboy,” Jin grins.
Yamapi smirks. “I’ll be anything you want me to be.”
“Wo-hoah,” Jin hoots. “And he totally did not exaggerate. So, what’s the deal? A towel for a blow-job?”
“How about a drink first?” Yamapi offers. “Come on in, I’ll get you a towel.”
“Is this your house?” Jin asks skeptically.
“Close enough.”
****
“Ryo!”
I hear the voice calling out behind me, but I ignore it. I just want to hide somewhere nobody will find me. Least of all him. I ignore the rain and the cold, I don’t even know where I’m running, I just want to get away. How could I have been so stupid? Why would he like me? Jin’s the idiot, not me. I trip suddenly and I think I’ll fall but then strong arms wrap around me from behind and catch me. I need a second to recover and he uses the time to make sure I’m in a tight grip that I cannot break out of easily.
“Ryo, stop, please.”
His voice is low and his breath tickles my ears. It’s almost painful how the feeling makes my body tingle. I want that feeling to go away, I want him to just go away. Why did he even…?
“Why do you think I’m running after you?”
~* Kimi no karada wo sono yubi de *~
(Your body, with these fingers…)
I blink. Then I shake my head.
“I don’t know,” I mutter.
“Then I’ll tell you,” he whispers and I feel his grip loosening.
I take the opportunity and break free, but somehow I can’t run anymore. It’s no use anyway.
“Why did you?” I ask as I turn to glare at him. “Why would you care? It’s not like I… could have expected anything. Just…” I feel my anger melting into desperation and sorrow. Why does it hurt so much? “I thought… I really am an idiot. You should go back to Pi. I’ll be fine, okay? It’s alright. Really. We’re cool.” I try to smile at him, but I feel the tears running down my face and for a second I hate myself for being weak, but then I actually feel relieved. I haven’t had such intense feelings in forever and it’s like I’ve come back to life just standing here with Kame, who is so much more to me than just a friend and I… “I just wish…” I sob out. “I wish…”
~* Kimi ga nozonda. Futatsume wo ima. Kanaete yaru yo. Kuchizukeru yo. *~
(The second of your wishes, right now, I will grant it for you. I will kiss you.)
And then I really break down crying. Because Kame did not lie to me. He is there to fulfill my wish. I have no strength left to question what is happening and simply throw myself at the man who grabs me firmly, all but forcing a passionate kiss on my lips. Once I register that it’s really happening, I sigh, kissing him back with equal force.
“Idiot,” he whispers against my lips and I have to smile. It really is a confession. A pretty strange one, but hey, “Honeybutt” is just as strange a pet name, isn’t it?
We stay like this for a while, but then I have to take a good breath and my nose is… well, I can’t breathe through it, so I pull back.
“Sorry,” I mutter, rubbing my nose on my hand.
“You’re such a mess,” Kame teases me with a grin. Then he kisses my nose. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he decides. “Let’s go back.”
“Actually, I think we’re closer to my place right now,” I muse as I take in my surroundings.
“Anywhere is fine, so long as we get out of the rain.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
We head off towards my place. It’s still raining, but the wind isn’t as strong anymore. Even so, as we arrive we’re both soaked through. Fortunately the supervisors are busy and I’m not out of curfew, so it’s pretty easy to slip in. As we head up the stairs to my room I start to think about everything that happened earlier. There are a million things spinning in my head. But the one thing that really sticks is our kiss. We kissed. He kissed me. Not Yamapi. They looked close before, but the moment Kame saw me he ran after me and he kissed me and nobody else. That has to mean something, right? I force my mind back to reality as we get to the door of my room. I knock, mainly out of habit, and slide in. The fact that Jin isn’t in doesn’t surprise me. He often stays out long and gets into trouble if I don’t cover for him, which I do too often according to my own feeling but he’s a cool guy and he always shares his food with me.
“Your room mate is not in?” Kame asks, taking a look around.
“He often stays out all night,” I explain. “He’s a cool guy, though. Just a bit… well, he’s a bit lost at the moment. Seems like his parents put him under so much pressure he has a kind of allergy against work of any kind now.”
“Wow, sounds tough.”
“Ah, he’ll get over it. He just needs some… new perspective.”
“I would have liked to meet him,” Kame murmurs.
“Next time around, okay?” I offer with a smile. “I’ll bring him next time we meet at the mall.”
“Okay.”
“For now, we should take a hot shower,” I decide.
“Oh, that sounds good,” Kame agrees.
“You go in first,” I offer timidly.
“No, no way,” Kame opposes. “You go.”
“No, really,” I insist. “I… oh, I know. I wish you will go in first.”
Kame first presses his lips together, then he tilts his head.
“Let me get this straight,” he muses, inspecting me. “Your last wish to me… is that you want me in your shower?”
~* Kimi ga nozonda. Kimi no negai wa. Kinou no kimi to wa chigau hito daro *~
(Your wishes. These wishes of yours… You’re not the same person you were yesterday, right?)
I blush at that, but at the same time I have to chuckle. Kame really gives me the most amazing feelings. As I think about it, he might actually really be nice in the shower. I bite my lip.
“Just saying,” Kame continues and now he grins mischievously at me, “if you’re going to use your last wish, you should definitely put it to good use. Remember… anything.”
I feel my body heating up, my knees feeling slightly weak, but I understand that this is the invitation, the offer and everything is there right in front of me and the world goes black as I close my eyes.
“I wish…”
~* Kimi ga nozonda. Mittsume wo ima. Kanaete yaru yo. Hitotsu ni naru yo. *~
(The third of your wishes, right now, I will grant it for you. We will become one.)
Everything gets blurry. I’m hot, wet, and I don’t even know how we manage to finish the shower and get back out again. My hair is still wet and sticks to the pillow as I lay down on my bed, a hot, naked body covering mine and my mind starts to race. Too soon, too fast, too dangerous…
The first touch of lips on my skin silences any kind of doubt. I still know, somewhere deep down, that it’s wrong to do this - here, now. But I can’t get myself to care. I haven’t felt this happy… ever and I’m not giving it up. And so my fingers find slightly wet, but warm and soft skin. It’s not my first time having sex. Not that I have a lot of experience. And in this moment it feels like the first time all over. Have I ever felt so hot? Has skin ever felt so soft? A shiver runs through the body on top of me and I look up, finding glittering eyes looking back at me. Loving fingers stroke my face and one of my hand moves to thread into wet hair, playing with a few strands. We keep inspecting each other, occasionally stealing light kisses from cheeks, chins and foreheads and it’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced. If this is sex, I’ve only fucked to this day. This is so incredibly different from anything I’ve ever done, I don’t want it to end, for fear it won’t ever come back.
“I love you.”
Three words are whispered to me and for the first time in my life I actually experience the “falling in love” everybody keeps talking about. It’s like the bed under me vanishes and I start to fall, everything is rushing and my stomach flutters wildly, but it’s not unpleasant, it’s exciting and wonderful and finally it fills up my heart. How can a single phrase have such an effect? And will it have the same effect on him? Suddenly I feel nervous again. But I really want to tell him.
“I love you.”
I said it and I can see it in his eyes, what it does to him to hear these words. I’m glad I found the courage. In this moment it gets real. Everything gets real. We’re lying in my bed, naked, hard and it’s going to happen right here. In movies and such, there are always these scenes with flowers and candles, or the arrangement of the first time… the perfect moment. This is nothing like it. We’re soiling the bed, wet as we are, there is nothing here but just the breath that plays between us, no music, no lights. I remember that I don’t have lube. This isn’t just not the perfect moment for having sex - actually, it’s about the worst scenario I could think of. But it doesn’t matter. I think I have found lust tonight. An incredibly strong urge that will drive you to this one thing that you absolutely need in that very moment and fuck the odds.
It’s going to happen, no matter if it’s stupid, or far from perfect. I stretch my neck to kiss Kame’s neck. It tastes a bit soapy, but it’s warm and smooth and he gives the most delicious sigh. I feel my excitement rising, and who cares if it’s rushed? I slide down his body to taste his nipples. They are small and rough and close to addictive. I keep playing with them and smile as I feel Kame’s hands threating into my hair, guiding my movements. He moans as I bite his skin slightly and it gives me the most exciting thrill. His hands move to my shoulders, giving light but unmistakable pressure. I grin, getting the hint. While my lips mouth his ribcage my hand moves straight down to his groin. Without a second’s hesitation I grab his hard flesh and start to stroke him slowly, but firmly. Kame moans, bucking his hips into my hand.
“Ryo,” he sighs.
It sounds hot and needy and it does the most amazing things to me. I just have to see his face, so I move up, looking into his eyes. My hand is still working him and what I see almost takes my breath away. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes half-closed in bliss. He looks so hot, I want to eat him right up. Instead I bend down and start a heated kiss which he answers happily. I jump slightly as I feel his hand on my length as well.
“Oh god, yes,” I urge him.
It feels so good, like I’m melting into him.
“I want you,” Kame whispers into my ear. It doesn’t sound sweet, or kind. It’s urgent and demanding and full of unrestrained need. In this moment I know he really just wants to fuck. Well, so do I, so who cares?
“Come here,” I agree.
“Lube?” Kame asks as he robs closer.
“Have to do without,” I inform him.
“How?”
Without thinking about it I bring up my hand and spit in it two times. Then I resume my work on his dick. I repeat the pattern three or four times and it starts to feel pretty okay.
“Give me your fingers,” I urge him and he complies quickly.
The loss of his hand on my hot flesh makes me whine a bit, but I quickly grab his wrist and suck two of his fingers into my mouth. I slick them up thoroughly and as soon as I’m done he brings them down between my legs. This is it. I spread my legs wide to give him access and for a moment nothing happens. Just as I’m starting to wonder, I hear his voice again.
“You look so beautiful,” he whispers.
I think I’ve caught fire. The only thing I can still think of is how bad I want him inside me.
“Oh god, Kame…”
“Kazuya,” he corrects me softly.
“Oh yeah,” I sigh excitedly. “Kazuya, please…”
His fingers finally start probing my hole and I jump at the feeling. The slick fingers move pretty smoothly, loosening my muscles more effectively than I would have expected. I’m pretty sure that it’s still going to hurt, but the moment he moves into position I don’t care about that. I merely wrap my legs around him, pulling him in, and lose myself in the heated passion we share. He fills me up, he holds me close and we move together, wanton, lost in the heat.
“Ryo, you feel so good…” Kame’s voice in my ear makes me go weak as I feel him moving with more drive. My hands wrap around his neck, I pull him so close, if we weren’t so sweaty he wouldn’t be able to move as much as an inch. One of my hands fists in his hair as he finds a new angle, hitting my spot deliciously as he moves.
The world feels lost to me, like it’s miles away, everything gets blurry and the only thing I still register is the way our bodies move, urgent, needy, fast… I feel my breath hitching. I’m hot, my body shakes, but tenses at the same time, it feels so good it’s almost painful and I bite my lip as I let go completely until the blurry world around me fades out completely into blissful white…
****
I quickly rub my sweaty hands on my pants. Ever since I changed to this school I haven’t felt this rotten. Suddenly I remember how my stomach had twisted as I was introduced to my new class mates. How I wish that moment back now. Today I might well have to leave this school again and even though I couldn’t have imagined that just a few weeks ago, I don’t want to leave this place and the people I met here.
“Okay, let’s do this,” Kame says determinedly.
I feel his hand on my shoulder and somehow it’s encouraging.
“No worries,” Yamapi states, “we’ll absolutely stand up for you.”
“Hey, if it’s needed, I could force my parents to get involved,” Jin offers. “They’re feeling so guilty, they’d buy this entire thing just to set up a new principle.”
“Glad to hear you’re finally on better terms again,” I smile at him. “But I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Just offering” Jin shrugs.
“Why are you even here?” Kame asks. “It’s not like you have anything to do with this.”
“What are you talking about?” Jin asks, throwing an arm possessively around Yamapi. “My boyfriend is in this, after all, and I have to support him.”
“Let’s just get this over with,” I urge.
And so we all - well, all of us but Jin - get into the principal’s office. As I look around I see the principle, our home-room teacher and much to my surprise also Jun, Sho and Kitayama in the room.
“Ah, you’re all here,” Jun smiles as Yamapi closes the door. “Very well, then we can quickly bring this to an end. Kitayama-kun, come up here.”
The boy steps forward awkwardly, not looking at anyone. He looks like he wants to turn and run. Somehow I feel sorry for him, because I know exactly what he’s feeling right now. Whatever his reasons for lying were, he didn’t do it to do us in. I’m still angry, of course, because he caused not just me, but also my friends, trouble.
“Kitayama-kun,” Jun addresses the boy once more. “Don’t you have something to say?”
Kitayama bites his lips again, then he looks up at the group of us.
“I… I am really sorry,” he says finally. “I was so scared. They’ve been torturing me all year and I thought if I did them in I’d see even worse.” He bows deeply. “I am really deeply sorry for having caused you trouble.” Then he turns towards the principle and our teacher. “They did not attack me. Really. And they never bullied me or anyone else. Actually, they saw what those guys did to me and came to help. I’m sorry for lying.”
“Okay,” Jun nods. “I think that should do.” He clasps Kitayama’s shoulder for a moment. “Thank you for being honest. So, are we done here?”
“No,” Sho cuts in and everybody turns to look at him. My body didn’t even have the time to relax to tense up again. “I too have to apologize,” he states and finally I realize that I will not get expelled and all tension leaves my body and I’m just feeling relieved.
“Yamashita-kun, Nishikido-kun, Kamenashi-kun, I’m sorry I did not listen. I was being presumptuous and I’m really sorry about that.”
“It’s okay,” I assure him.
“And to you too, Jun,” Sho addresses his… well, whatever they actually are. “I should have trusted you more.”
Jun’s smile could blind anyone who looks at it directly and for the first time on forever it feels like everything is just falling into place.
“Very well, then,” the principle finally speaks up. “I believe this matter is solved. You guys can go now. Kitayama-kun, you will be suspended for three days. The rest of you can come back to school tomorrow.”
“Thank you so much,” I say, bowing, before I quickly retreat.
I hear my friend’s words of gratitude too and just a moment later we’re out of the office again. Finally I can sigh audibly in relief.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s over.”
“And everything turned out alright,” Kame smiles, looking relieved too.
“Yeah, great, we’ll be going to school again tomorrow,” Yamapi moans out.
“Hey, if I’m going to school again, so will you,” Jin tells him. “It’s really not so bad.”
“Oh, okay,” Yamapi grins, throwing his arms around his lover and giving him a quick kiss.
“Hey,” Kame whispers to me, tipping my shoulder.
“Hm?”
“Do I get one too?” he asks, smiling brightly.
“Hmmmm…” I hum, smiling at him suggestively. I bring our lips close together and breathe slightly on his face. “No,” I say finally, turning away.
Kame blinks. “What?! Hey!!!” he complains. “Come on, Jin got one.”
“So?”
“So, I want one too,” Kame insists.
“I’m not kissing you in front of people,” I tell him. “It’s… embarrassing.”
“But… wait.”
“Ah, guys? How about a milk shake?” I suggest and grin as Kame runs after me, trying to steal a kiss, before I finally turn and give him a peck on his cheek. Then our group sets out. First a milk shake, then school again tomorrow and towards an unknown, but exciting future. Right now I couldn’t be any happier. Life is fantastic.