Metroid: Other Durp
Samus: *runs around*
Commander: SAMUS COME HERE
Samus: What?
Commander: IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MILITARY TRAINING
Samus: Uh, I don't mean to sound pretentious, but I was trained from childhood by the Chozo-
Commander: SAMUS BE QUIET AND DO YOUR TRAINING.
Soldier: Don't worry princess, we'll watch over you. We're your FRIENDS.
Samus: What's a 'friend'?
Soldier: In this case it's someone who calls you 'princess' a lot, on account of the fact that you're a woman surrounded by men. Also we've got your back, totally.
Samus: W-
Ridley: SCREEE
Soldier: WHOOOOAAAA WHAT'S THAT THING
Samus: Huh? *looks over* Oh that's Ridley. Don't worry, I've fought him like a million times. *shouts* HEY RIDLEY. I WAS COUNTING ALL THE TIMES THAT I BEAT YOUR ASS, BUT I RAN OUT OF FINGERS. HAH!
Ridley: SKREEEEE *flies around*
Commander: *screams into Samus' helmet speaker* SAMUSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! USE YOUR THING.
Samus: GAAH *reels, grabbing the side of her helmet* HEY CAPTAIN FUCKWAD, TURN YOUR MIC DOWN. SHIT.
Ridley: *takes a swipe at her*
Commander: SAMUS HE'S GONNA HIT YOU.
Samus: *distracted, looks away* Huh?? OOF!!! *goes flying*
Commander: SAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! USE YOUR THING.
Samus: *climbs to one knee* Ugh..will you SHUT. UP. FOR TWO SECONDS. AND LET ME DO MY THING.
Commander: SAMUS LISTEN TO ME.
Ridley: SKREEEEEEEE *flies at her again*
Samus: *switches to plasma beam* Eat it, Dickstain. *blows Ridley away*
Ridley: HAAAUGH *dies*
Soldier: ...
Commander: SAMUS YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO USE THAT, I NEVER SAID YOU COULD USE THAT, I NEVER SAID 'YOU MAY', SO PUT IT AWAY RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY.
Samus: Bite me.
Commander: SAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUS DON'T DISOBEY ME I AM YOUR COMMANDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Samus: Since WHEN. For the last fucking time, I was raised on an ALIEN WORLD, by ALIENS. *crosses her eyes sarcastically* I DON'T KNOW HOOMAN, DURR.
Commander: SAMUS THIS IS THE LAST STRAW. PUT AWAY YOUR UNAUTHORIZED WEAPON OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE DRASTIC ACTION.
Samus: *just stands there* Do somethin'.
Commander: SSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS. Soldier shoot her.
Soldier: *aims gun at Samus* DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS, PRINCESS *tears up*
Samus: *yawns*
Commander: LAST CHANCE, SAMUS. DON'T MAKE US DO THIS.
Samus: *flips him off*
Commander: THEN YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE. FIRE!!!
Soldier: SSSSAAAAMUUUUUSSS *fires his gun at her*
((plink))
Samus: *looks down at her chest plate, brushes a hand across it* Oh, that's cute. What's that you're using? *squints* Conventional Earth weapons against CHOZO POWER ARMOR.
Soldier: Gun no worky.
Commander: ......................Wh...I ...
Samus: Yeah, I don't have time for this bullshit. I've got shit to do. *walks off*
Commander: SSSSSSSAAAAAAAAA-
Samus: SHUT THE FUCK UP *turns around and fires a shitload of supermissiles*
Commander: GOODBYE COMMANDER *explodes*
The end.
Commander: SAMUS COME HERE
Samus: What?
Commander: IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MILITARY TRAINING
Samus: Uh, I don't mean to sound pretentious, but I was trained from childhood by the Chozo-
Commander: SAMUS BE QUIET AND DO YOUR TRAINING.
Soldier: Don't worry princess, we'll watch over you. We're your FRIENDS.
Samus: What's a 'friend'?
Soldier: In this case it's someone who calls you 'princess' a lot, on account of the fact that you're a woman surrounded by men. Also we've got your back, totally.
Samus: W-
Ridley: SCREEE
Soldier: WHOOOOAAAA WHAT'S THAT THING
Samus: Huh? *looks over* Oh that's Ridley. Don't worry, I've fought him like a million times. *shouts* HEY RIDLEY. I WAS COUNTING ALL THE TIMES THAT I BEAT YOUR ASS, BUT I RAN OUT OF FINGERS. HAH!
Ridley: SKREEEEE *flies around*
Commander: *screams into Samus' helmet speaker* SAMUSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! USE YOUR THING.
Samus: GAAH *reels, grabbing the side of her helmet* HEY CAPTAIN FUCKWAD, TURN YOUR MIC DOWN. SHIT.
Ridley: *takes a swipe at her*
Commander: SAMUS HE'S GONNA HIT YOU.
Samus: *distracted, looks away* Huh?? OOF!!! *goes flying*
Commander: SAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! USE YOUR THING.
Samus: *climbs to one knee* Ugh..will you SHUT. UP. FOR TWO SECONDS. AND LET ME DO MY THING.
Commander: SAMUS LISTEN TO ME.
Ridley: SKREEEEEEEE *flies at her again*
Samus: *switches to plasma beam* Eat it, Dickstain. *blows Ridley away*
Ridley: HAAAUGH *dies*
Soldier: ...
Commander: SAMUS YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO USE THAT, I NEVER SAID YOU COULD USE THAT, I NEVER SAID 'YOU MAY', SO PUT IT AWAY RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY.
Samus: Bite me.
Commander: SAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUS DON'T DISOBEY ME I AM YOUR COMMANDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Samus: Since WHEN. For the last fucking time, I was raised on an ALIEN WORLD, by ALIENS. *crosses her eyes sarcastically* I DON'T KNOW HOOMAN, DURR.
Commander: SAMUS THIS IS THE LAST STRAW. PUT AWAY YOUR UNAUTHORIZED WEAPON OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE DRASTIC ACTION.
Samus: *just stands there* Do somethin'.
Commander: SSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS. Soldier shoot her.
Soldier: *aims gun at Samus* DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS, PRINCESS *tears up*
Samus: *yawns*
Commander: LAST CHANCE, SAMUS. DON'T MAKE US DO THIS.
Samus: *flips him off*
Commander: THEN YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE. FIRE!!!
Soldier: SSSSAAAAMUUUUUSSS *fires his gun at her*
((plink))
Samus: *looks down at her chest plate, brushes a hand across it* Oh, that's cute. What's that you're using? *squints* Conventional Earth weapons against CHOZO POWER ARMOR.
Soldier: Gun no worky.
Commander: ......................Wh...I ...
Samus: Yeah, I don't have time for this bullshit. I've got shit to do. *walks off*
Commander: SSSSSSSAAAAAAAAA-
Samus: SHUT THE FUCK UP *turns around and fires a shitload of supermissiles*
Commander: GOODBYE COMMANDER *explodes*
The end.