Care and Feeding of your KamiLeon (rev. 2.7b)
I'd been planning on avoiding this meme, but since it's clear that a manual is required...
Rule 1. Do not buy your Kamileon lavish gifts. The definition of lavish varies from person to person, but can be loosely defined as "Anything more expensive than your Kamileon might have bought for you on a whim." For most people, shiny small objects, small geeky toys, and flowers are safe bets. Anything larger than this, and your Kamileon may grow uncomfortable or restless.
Rule 2. While your Kamileon has been equipped with a smaller guilt module than most corresponding models, it is still best to avoid situations where she is exposed to an attempt to create guilt. Circuits which route to guilt in other models may route to anger or contempt in your Kamileon, and should not be activated if possible.
Rule 3. Your Kamileon is equipped with the finest technology available for persistence and direction. However, this may make her hazardous to spineless entities, as she can do damage to them in the course of routine movement towards a goal.
Rule 4. Your Kamileon is a fully self-contained entity, with highly sophisticated maintenance and defense systems. Do not interfere in these systems, as your Kamileon may begin to display erratic behavior.
Rule 5. Your Kamileon is safe for use with dogs, cats, and well trained children.
Rule 6. Your Kamileon cannot consistently tell the difference between immaturity and insanity. This may prematurely activate her defense systems.
Rule 7. Being excessively nice to your Kamileon may cause confusion in her motivation detection modules, and should be attempted with extreme caution.
Rule 8. Your Kamileon requires a steady supply of fresh raw fish for optimal processing abilities. Once a week is the minimum recommended maintenance cycle.
Rule 9. Excessive power imbalances will cause your Kamileon to shut down in self-defense. To bring her back online, correct the imbalance and reboot.
Rule 10. Your Kamileon should be kept at an optimal temperature at all times.
Rule 11. Your Kamileon may slow or cease to function if musical input is not constantly supplied.
Rule 12. You do NOT talk about your Kamileon.
Rule 13. You do not TALK about your KAMILEON.
Rule 14. Feeding your Kamileon cheese or dark chocolate will temporarily deactivate her conversational circuits.
Rule 15. Do not consider this rule set to be exhaustive. Your Kamileon is a complex and self-learning device, and any or all of these rules may be subject to change.
Rule 1. Do not buy your Kamileon lavish gifts. The definition of lavish varies from person to person, but can be loosely defined as "Anything more expensive than your Kamileon might have bought for you on a whim." For most people, shiny small objects, small geeky toys, and flowers are safe bets. Anything larger than this, and your Kamileon may grow uncomfortable or restless.
Rule 2. While your Kamileon has been equipped with a smaller guilt module than most corresponding models, it is still best to avoid situations where she is exposed to an attempt to create guilt. Circuits which route to guilt in other models may route to anger or contempt in your Kamileon, and should not be activated if possible.
Rule 3. Your Kamileon is equipped with the finest technology available for persistence and direction. However, this may make her hazardous to spineless entities, as she can do damage to them in the course of routine movement towards a goal.
Rule 4. Your Kamileon is a fully self-contained entity, with highly sophisticated maintenance and defense systems. Do not interfere in these systems, as your Kamileon may begin to display erratic behavior.
Rule 5. Your Kamileon is safe for use with dogs, cats, and well trained children.
Rule 6. Your Kamileon cannot consistently tell the difference between immaturity and insanity. This may prematurely activate her defense systems.
Rule 7. Being excessively nice to your Kamileon may cause confusion in her motivation detection modules, and should be attempted with extreme caution.
Rule 8. Your Kamileon requires a steady supply of fresh raw fish for optimal processing abilities. Once a week is the minimum recommended maintenance cycle.
Rule 9. Excessive power imbalances will cause your Kamileon to shut down in self-defense. To bring her back online, correct the imbalance and reboot.
Rule 10. Your Kamileon should be kept at an optimal temperature at all times.
Rule 11. Your Kamileon may slow or cease to function if musical input is not constantly supplied.
Rule 12. You do NOT talk about your Kamileon.
Rule 13. You do not TALK about your KAMILEON.
Rule 14. Feeding your Kamileon cheese or dark chocolate will temporarily deactivate her conversational circuits.
Rule 15. Do not consider this rule set to be exhaustive. Your Kamileon is a complex and self-learning device, and any or all of these rules may be subject to change.