Ikea: translated.
Vika Curry: Swedish for "jigsaw puzzle"
I am a tool.
Wedging too many boxes into the car and going around that last corner a little too fast probably wasn't a good idea. Next time, fly your boxes home on a magic carpet ($4 to hire, please speak with our sales attendants).
If assembly of items causes a mental breakdown, please call our psychiatric helpline.
Track down all the screws.
Who would have thought that if the screws stick out the other end, you might hurt your fingers? Did you also know that McDonald's coffee is served hot?
Assembly instructions omitted because this one is too easy to assemble ;)