It... was the strangest thing, yesterday... I was at Gaku's house... just, feeling his energy, his life. He wasn't there... but his memories were. His lifestyle was... I enjoy that sort of atmosphere. I was just walking through his house when hide's spider... bit me... I think. Suddenly, it felt as though I was dying again. It sounds so silly... ( Read more... )

[Kami had found a new 'home' by Mana's house; a small, overlooked clearing of green and wildflowers; a single tree provided shade. he had invited his butterflies to join him in his garden and now he watched them flutter about as he sat with his back against the tree, looking out. it was different from his park... quieter, lonlier... but he had ( Read more... )

[the park was empty now and the inviting golden glow that had seemed ever present on even the cloudiest of days was gone. butterflies no longer fluttered over the tall, unkept grasses and the swing furthest into the park, under the shade of the timeless tree for once was still. it no longer stirred with the unseen wind and the breeze had ceased to ( Read more... )

It's that day again... the day I died so long ago. How do I know this...? It is simple... Today, I live a living death where I can touch and feel... yet... life still passes me by. It is a day of torture, a day of hell... where life taunts me by letting me taste what I use to have without being able to grasp it.

...I loathe this day so...

That child, Masa... continues to come to my park. He still speaks aloud and tells me his troubles. I'm beginning to look forward to his visits as I don't go anywhere anymore to stay away from Gaku... Sometimes, his words echo my own so closely that I frightens me... I hope things remain well with You and Gaku... And pray that this mindset of non- ( Read more... )

It's wrong of me... very wrong of me to stay. Gaku... doesn't like to see me. I'm... holding him back, aren't I? Just... keeping him from moving on. What a hypocrite I am, always wishing him to get over me and live again all the while using my memory to hold him to me... I won't do it anymore.

Gaku... I'll never be far from your side... just... ( Read more... )

I spent the day with Mana-chan~<3 today. He seemed to sense me, I hope. Because otherwise he spends all of his time reminiscing and brooding my life and death... or I may have caught him at a bad time? Still... I watched him draw my Au Revior costume. It made me want to laugh and cry all at once... I don't want him to be sad. I don't want any of my ( Read more... )

Taiwan is such a lovely place. I was surprised to find butterflies thriving at the temples. As overpopulated and polluted as the island is, it has wonderful people and some amount of nature. I spent the day watching Gaku work... That man's sixth sense is far too keen. I was resting four yards away, six stories high, facing his back, and somehow he ( Read more... )

I dreamt of him last night; such a bittersweet and heart rendering dream that no others can compare to. He saw me, heard me... he could do all but touch me. It reminded me painfully of how much I miss that touch. I hardly realized how much my death had hurt him until I heard the anguished undertones in words he worked so hard to mask. I suppose ( Read more... )

It is always difficult for me; to watch my friends laugh together. It is even harder to watch them cry and know I can no longer comfort them... can I? I met You today, one of Gakuto's band mates. I still do not know where I dreamed him, but it felt familiar somehow. Death is strange like that. He wept and broke my still heart. I reached out to ( Read more... )