Valentine's Day will always be somber from now on.
I had to put my oldest cat to sleep today.
He was very sick. His liver was failing. The last night of his life was spent vomiting and raggedly breathing until morning. My other cats, as if knowing he was nearing the end, solemnly licked his head as if to say goodbye.
We had to end his suffering, but I still feel extremely guilty. He was scared and confused in his final moments as I stroked his head crying and telling him I loved him. And I did. I loved him so, so much. He got me through 15 years of my life. Middle school, high school and my college years. He was a constant source of comfort.
Just... him being there, looking up at me with his worried looking eyes. His big appetite and his playfulness, even in his later years.
I feel empty knowing that he's not down the hall waiting for me to let him into my room again. He'll never sit by my feet under my chair or jump up onto my lap as I use the computer ever again. He'll never join me outside in the mornings on our patio or stroll by the brim of our pool ever again.
I'll never hear his mew on the other side of my door ever again.
He went through a phase where he was really fat and round. It's ironic now because he had grown so boney thin in the last weeks of his life. He barely weighed a thing. Looking at pictures of him when he was roly poly breaks my heart now.
I've been crying nonstop. The tears stop for a little bit, but then they start up again, then stop, then start again.
My baby's really gone. I'm really never going to see him again.
Timmy... I'm so sorry. I love you and I'm so sorry.
He was very sick. His liver was failing. The last night of his life was spent vomiting and raggedly breathing until morning. My other cats, as if knowing he was nearing the end, solemnly licked his head as if to say goodbye.
We had to end his suffering, but I still feel extremely guilty. He was scared and confused in his final moments as I stroked his head crying and telling him I loved him. And I did. I loved him so, so much. He got me through 15 years of my life. Middle school, high school and my college years. He was a constant source of comfort.
Just... him being there, looking up at me with his worried looking eyes. His big appetite and his playfulness, even in his later years.
I feel empty knowing that he's not down the hall waiting for me to let him into my room again. He'll never sit by my feet under my chair or jump up onto my lap as I use the computer ever again. He'll never join me outside in the mornings on our patio or stroll by the brim of our pool ever again.
I'll never hear his mew on the other side of my door ever again.
He went through a phase where he was really fat and round. It's ironic now because he had grown so boney thin in the last weeks of his life. He barely weighed a thing. Looking at pictures of him when he was roly poly breaks my heart now.
I've been crying nonstop. The tears stop for a little bit, but then they start up again, then stop, then start again.
My baby's really gone. I'm really never going to see him again.
Timmy... I'm so sorry. I love you and I'm so sorry.