Adaptations (After the Flaw: Oligarchy, Chapter 10)
Title: Adaptations (After the Flaw: Oligarchy, Chapter 10)
Author: kanedax
Spoilers: Previous Chapters
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: It's all about reading between the lines
Notes: The sub-plot that begins in this chapter is my dream plot. Literally. I had a dream about it, and after waking up I decided that it would work well in my overall plot.
In this chapter Teddy Lupin belongs to JK Rowling. But the others belong to me.
Rash & Judgments / Previous Chapters / Shit n' Piss
"God," grumbled Amy Thompson as she walked out of the theater, "why did I ever agree to be in this damn show in the first place?"
"I don't think it's that bad," said Lewis Jones. "He has some original ideas, sure..."
"Original ideas?" Amy yelled, then spun her head as she heard the stage door fly open again behind her. "Original ideas?" she said quietly. "He's raping Shakespeare, its what he's doing."
"Bit overdramatic, aren't you?" Lewis continued as the three actors walked down the street. "The Tempest has been done so many different ways over the years. This isn't any different."
"He's turning Caliban into the Creature from the Black Lagoon--"
"Caliban was a big robot in Forbidden Planet..."
"--and Prospero into The Amazing Criswell!"
"Hey, I think putting it in a 50's B-Movie setting's kinda different," said Lewis.
"It's... It's... ugh," Amy said, hanging her head. "And the way he's doing Ariel..."
"Yeah, that is weird," Lewis admitted. "Who reads romantic tension between Ariel and Alonso? Seriously..."
"I shouldn't have accepted this," Amy sighed, flipping through her script under the street lamp. "This is the last time I do Tim any favors."
"Maybe we can pull a coup," said Lewis. "Get him to change his mind about some of this. Say we want a revolution, you know? What do you think, Ted? You in?"
"I don't know," said Ted Lupin, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "It's my first time working with Tim. I'm only the Boatswain. I don't think my threats would hold much water."
"Yeah, well, this isn't about who has a bigger part--"
"I'm the bloody Boatswain," Ted repeated. "My entire characterization is 'Oh, God, my boat!'"
"'57 Chevy," Lewis corrected, and Amy moaned at the reminder. "But you've read The Tempest, right? You have to have some opinion about what works and what doesn't."
"Well," Ted hesitated, "I just haven't... studied it as much as I probably should."
The fact of the matter was that Ted's experience with not only The Tempest, but every Shakespearean play had recently been next to zero. Before Aunt Jean had given him The Complete Works for his birthday just last spring, the only Shakespeare Ted had read was Winter's Tale, and that was only because his wife shared a name with one of the play's major characters. Being raised by witches and wizards had given Lupin a deep knowledge of magical art and literature. His Muggle upbringing, on the other hand, rarely offered anything so culturally deep, as most of his time spent with Hermione Caroline had been spent gaming, watching television, or doing the kind of things that teenagers in love usually did when they had the house to themselves.
"Maybe we can plot our attack over a pint," said Amy to Lewis and Ted. "You two wanna stop in The Angel, drown our sorrows?"
"I'm in," said Lewis. "Ted? Wanna see me and my girl drink each other under the table?"
As the watch he had been given when he became of age was hidden safely back at home, Lupin pulled out his mobile phone while the couple tightened their grip on each other, and checked the time: 7:55. "I should get going, actually," he said. "Another time?"
"Another time," Amy nodded.
"But you two can go," Ted said quickly. "Seriously, go, have a blast."
Amy and Lewis looked at each other uncomfortably. "No, it's not as much fun when its just the two of us getting pissed," said Amy. "We'll wait for a night when you can come with us."
"Yeah, we should head home," Lewis agreed. "Where do you live, anyway, Ted?"
"Clapham," said Ted.
"Get out of here," said Amy. "How can you afford to live there at your age?"
Well, Ted wanted to answer, my mother and father died in battle fighting evil wizards when I was only a month old. My mother the shapeshifter was a member of an elite magical crimefighting force, so when they died I was not only given their inheritance but a comfortable pension from the Ministry of Magic.
"My wife's a computer programmer," he said instead. It wasn't a complete untruth, as Hermione was already making a fine living for someone her age, but Ted had learned that short and simple were best when it came to his life's story. Around Muggles, at least.
"You have a wife, too?" said Lewis, stunned. "Bloody hell, how old are you?"
"Oh, come off it," said Amy, smacking Lewis's chest. "Didn't you see the ring on his finger? Don't listen to him," she said to Ted. "I think its absolutely lovely that you've found someone, no matter how old you are. Me, I didn't meet this bloke until I was thirty."
"She ran out of options, clearly," said Lewis with a smirk.
"So when do we get to meet her?" Amy insisted. "She'll come to the show, right? Maybe she can meet us at The Angel after rehearsal some night?"
"I think she'd like that," said Teddy. "I'll have to check with her, of course."
"Of course," said Amy.
"You'll have to forgive her," said Lewis. "She always gets so giddy when she meets new couples. So I take it you're on the Northern Line, then?"
"The what?" Ted asked.
"The Northern Line," said Lewis. "You take that to Clapham?"
"Oh," Teddy said with a forced laugh. "Yeah, yeah, the Northern Line. Yeah, absolutely, yeah."
"I'm surprised we haven't seen you yet," said Lewis. "We're on the Northern Line, too. We have a flat in Kennington."
I actually don't take the tube, Teddy's brain answered as he stammered for an answer he could actually give. I Apparate to rehearsal instead.
"I, um, guess I must get an earlier train than you," Teddy answered instead. "I... like to come early to grab something to eat before rehearsal."
"That makes sense," said Lewis as Ted released an internal sigh of relief. "Well, I guess we're riding together for once."
"Yeah," said Ted quietly, "yeah, I guess we're riding together."
I was planning to Apparate tonight because the premiere of Jimmy Porter is in five minutes and I won't be home for another half hour if I ride the Underground.
"Mind if I make a call?" he asked as the trio continued to the Angel station. When the two shook their head, he pulled out his phone and pressed the button marked Hermione. After a few moments of ringing, it picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, love," said Ted.
"Oh, hi," Hermione Caroline answered. "Where are you? The show starts in a few minutes."
"Just calling to make sure you're recording," Ted said carefully.
"You want me to record," said Hermione, picking up on what wasn't being said: I'm being held up by reasons that I can't really talk about, so start the TiVo without me. "Rehearsal run late?"
"No, no," said Ted, glancing over at the other couple. "Amy and Lewis say they want to meet you sometime, by the way."
"Amy and who?" Hermione said. "You're being Muggled, aren't you?"
"Yep."
"You can't Apparate?"
"Yep," he said with another quick glance at Amy and Lewis, who were both lost in their own conversation.
"So you have to take the Underground?"
"Yep."
"Blood hell," Hermione grumbled on the other side. "The Line's always a pain this time of night. Alright, TiVo's set. Are you still stopping to grab dinner for us, or am I left-overing?"
"Least I can do is get you your turkey sandwich, right?"
"At the very least," said Hermione with a tease in her voice. "Do I need to hide any magic?"
"Nope, lettuce and tomato only," he said cryptically, hoping she decoded it fine: Just me and you. No Muggles coming home with me.
"Alright," she said. "Love you."
"Love you, too."
"Now get off the phone, the show's starting."
Teddy chuckled as the phone clicked in his ear. The Adventures of Jimmy Porter, a show that had been teased on the BBC for the last month, was premiering that very evening. The plot was being kept tightly under wraps, which was astonishing in the Internet Age, but the creative team behind it had been touted for a while. A prime-time animated series by the writer of Wyrmwood and the design team responsible for the breathtaking Carbine, the show had drawn in an impressive array of voice talent from movies and television. The mysterious advertisements had simply shown the picture of a blond boy with a list of said voice talent scrolling behind him, followed by the words "Jimmy is Coming, September 2019."
Needless to say, Ted and Hermione had been looking forward to tonight for a good while.
Guess I'll have to wait a little longer, Ted thought as the three actors entered the tube station.
---------
Amy and Lewis's friendly interrogation continued as they awaited the train, and Ted was more than a little relieved when they departed at Kennington a half hour later. He was used to bending the truth around Muggles, but it became increasingly difficult in the face of their harmless questioning to not arouse suspicion.
They asked Ted about his schooling (Bristol, he lied smoothly) and his family ("I was raised by my grandmother," he said, "and my godfather." He was grateful when decorum required they not press the question further). They asked him how he met Hermione, a name which Amy, a Shakespeare aficionado, fell in love with from the moment she heard it. He told them that he and Hermione had been friends since they were in diapers, one of the few things that he was able to tell the entire truth about during their journey. He did, however, have to fudge the numbers a bit when Amy pressed for more information on the proposal and the wedding, but in the end she clutched her hand to her heart, deeming their history "terribly romantic," and Ted thought he covered well enough. Although he did silently remind himself to sit down with Hermione and straighten out the story before the she joined the cast at the pub.
Things got a little dicier when they began to ask him about his theatrical history, a favorite amongst actors: What have you done, what roles have you played, what actors have you done shows with, what companies have you worked, what are your dream roles, what embarrassing stories do you have to tell? When he said that he didn't have much to say, Lewis insisted.
"How is that possible?" he asked. "You seem like such a natural onstage, and we've barely even started rehearsing yet. You haven't done anything?"
"Just some local work back home," Ted shrugged. He had, in fact, performed over a dozen shows in London since finishing his schooling at Hogwarts, and had even plucked a few leading roles. Unfortunately, these were for shows like The Warlock's Hairy Heart, Thestral Tamer, and historical dramas dealing with the First War and with the Goblin Revolt. Shows that he could never tell the average Muggle. He had just last January scored the role of a lifetime when he was cast as Arthur Pen Draig in The Enchantment Company's production of The Muggle's Advisor, and even had a framed clipping of the review from the Prophet (his first) hanging in their game room.
The Tempest, however, was his first as a Muggle actor, and he had quickly discovered just how difficult it was starting at the beginning again, especially with the increased numbers in competition for the roles. It certainly didn't help that he wasn't allowed to use his metamorph abilities, instead relying only on the look he had chosen for himself after proposing to Hermione. He already wasn't looking forward to the stage makeup, which he could naturally create himself, and had even heard the director talk about coloring his hair, which meant that he'd have to do it the Muggle way: dyes and bleaches instead of just changing it with a thought.
You'll just have to deal with it, he thought to himself as Amy and Lewis regaled him with nightmare stories from their past productions. You really are living in both worlds now, for better or for worse.
And it wasn't all bad, really. He had read a good amount of The Complete Works after Jean and Hermione sat down with him and pointed out the more popular Shakespearean plays like Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet, and Richard III. Even during the initial read-through of The Tempest last week Ted had already been developing ideas for his own magical production down the line. For a Muggle show, Tempest would fit extremely well on a wizarding stage, he quickly discovered. That first night, as Hermione fell asleep in his arms, his mind was imagining what magically-enhanced special effects could do for Ariel, for Prospero, and for the storm. And if only he could have auditioned for Caliban as a metamorph....
His mind continued to race. Maybe, after The Tempest, witches and wizards would line up for Midsummer...
Eventually, the older couple exited the train, leaving Ted alone to continue his journey home. He debated getting off at the next station and Apparating from there, but decided that it would be safer to just travel the rest of the way by tube. He still wasn't completely comfortable with the area, after all, and couldn't be sure that he'd find a safe location to Disapparate.
Presently the train stopped at Clapham South, where Ted departed, made his way out of the station and onto Nightingale Lane. He walked about a block down the Lane, entering a Gregg's and ordering a turkey sandwich and a couple pasties as his brain continued to direct his own Shakespearean productions. He paid for his order, exited the store, turned into the alley, and disappeared with a crack that a passing Muggle assumed was simply some hooligans playing with firecrackers again.
---------
Ted reappeared a split-second later in the back yard of the Lupins' small two-story. As always, he had aimed for the dark corner of the surrounding fence, so as to not be seen by any Muggle neighbors who just happened to be looking out their window. Readjusting the bags of food, he let himself through the back door and into their small kitchen. As he pulled two plates from the cupboards, he heard the sound of muffled voices and music coming from the television in the sitting room.
She's already watching, he thought as he dug through the bags and pulled out their dinner. I'll just slip upstairs and play some games until it's done, then we can rewatch it.
"Ted?" Hermione Caroline called from the sitting room. "Are you home?"
"I'm home," he said, unwrapping the turkey sandwich. "Let me know when the adverts are on, alright? I'll bring you your dinner."
"Ted, you should get in here..."
"I'll watch the recording later," he said. "I don't want to get spoiled."
"Ted," she repeated, "get the hell in here. Now."
Something in the tone of his wife's voice made Ted pause in his unwrapping. She sounded nervous about something. Ted quickly grabbed two bottles of soda, threw them into his back pockets, and carried them and the two plates into the other room.
"What is it?" he asked. "Is the cable on the fritz? Should I call the repairman?"
Hermione, who was sitting on their couch, leaning forward on her knees, didn't answer him. She was staring intently at the television, an ancient 1080p job that she had gotten as a hand-me-down from Dan and Charlotte when she had first moved in with Danielle Wheeler.
"What is it?" Ted repeated. "The picture looks fine, what's wrong?"
He set the plates on the coffee table and was going to sit down beside Hermione when he got his first look at The Adventures of Jimmy Porter.
But he had seen it before. Or something like it.
The scene that was currently on screen depicted a milling crowd of pedestrians and shoppers walking the streets of an old-style London street. Ted quickly recognized the art style of Simon Tanaka, whose animation had gained popularity on every continent over the last decade. The "camera" pulled in on two figures, both drawn in Tanaka's distinctive blend of Japanese anime and Western realism.
The boy was small. Blond. Dressed in ratty clothes too big for him. His eyes seemed to want to look everywhere at once, like he had stepped into a world that had never known existed.
The man was tall and thin, dressed in a dark blue cloak and robe. He wore a long, white beard that matched the long hair down his back, which was topped with a pointed blue hat. A white owl was perched on his shoulder.
Teddy recognized the street instantly, but the sight of this man confirmed what he was seeing.
"I don't think you'll get spoiled," said Hermione quietly. "You've seen it all already."
"Bloody hell," Ted breathed, falling down on the couch beside her. "It's..."
"It's Diagon Alley," Hermione agreed.
And it was, in a way. It was like Tanaka had stepped through the gate behind The Leaky Cauldron with a pencil and paper and sketched away. There was Fortescues, with its umbrella-topped tables sitting out front. There was Madam Malkin's and Quality Quidditch Supplies. Off in the distance, Ted could see the high white stone that he instantly recognized as Gringott's.
Only it wasn't quite. Instead of Fortescues, the sign could be read Icee Creemies. Madam Malkin's was instead Robe Emporium, while Bedknobs and Broomsticks hung over the Quidditch door.
"They're not calling it Diagon Alley," said Hermione.
"Who's they?" Ted said, his voice sounding like it was coming from another planet. His heart stopped as the camera passed Jingling Jester's Jokes and Jollies, which was distinctly George Weasley's shop, and the young boy followed the old man into Woodcraft's Wandcraft.
"Olivander's," Ted whispered.
"Jimmy and the Professor," said Hermione. "They're not calling it Diagon Alley. Nothing's named right. It's... um... Sorceror's Street, I think."
"Jimmy and... the Professor?" Ted asked. "He looks like..."
"Dumbledore," said Hermione, nodding. "I thought it might be coincidence, but--"
She cut off as the characters began to speak, this time to an ancient, grizzled old man whose eyes lit up at their appearance.
"Ah, Jimmy Porter," the old man said. "I knew your time would come soon enough. I have just the wand for you."
The old man tottered behind his desk and pulled out a beaten wooden box. Setting it on the tabletop, he opened it. The camera angled down behind the box, which emitted a powerful golden glow that covered both the faces of the young blond boy and the old wizard.
"This wand was made especially for you," said the wandmaker. "Forged from the very same tree as the wand used by Dark Lord Kadaver. Forged just for you in order to defeat the man who killed your parents."
"Jimmy's parents were killed when he was a baby," said Hermione as the boy pulled the wand out of the box. Instantly, a powerful blue streak of energy coiled around his arm, and the background shifted from the walls of the wand shop to yellow and gold speed lines reminiscent of old Japanese animation. "Professor Presto brought him to live with his mother's aunt and her family," she continued, her eyes unable to tear themselves from the screen, "until he came to get him on his eleventh birthday."
"This is insane..." Ted said. "This can't be... What..."
"It's all a little different," Hermione said. "Jimmy's parents are described as powerful magic soldiers, like superheroes. They had a flashback, and they had uniforms and everything. Very cartoony. And Jimmy's cousin doesn't look like Mr. Dursley at all..."
"With this wand," said the Dumbledore clone calling himself Professor Presto as Jimmy, a deep scar emblazoned on his left cheek, held his wand aloft, "we will teach you the ways of magic, Jimmy Porter. With our help, we will defeat the Dark Lord Kadaver once and for all!"
"Its like they did their best to make sure the characters aren't exactly like their real-life counterparts," said Hermione as Teddy Lupin slid weakly down the couch, his eyes wide with shock. "But it's Harry, Ted. It's Harry's story in a Muggle cartoon."
"Hoot!" the white owl on Presto's shoulder hooted as the background music rose dramatically. "Better than secondary school, isn't it?"
"Be quiet, Hoot Hoot," said the old wandmaker.
"Or, um, maybe not exactly like Harry's story," Hermione said helplessly as the three cartoon characters burst into cheesy laughter at the talking Snowy Owl.
Rash & Judgments / Previous Chapters / Shit n' Piss
Author: kanedax
Spoilers: Previous Chapters
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: It's all about reading between the lines
Notes: The sub-plot that begins in this chapter is my dream plot. Literally. I had a dream about it, and after waking up I decided that it would work well in my overall plot.
In this chapter Teddy Lupin belongs to JK Rowling. But the others belong to me.
Rash & Judgments / Previous Chapters / Shit n' Piss
"God," grumbled Amy Thompson as she walked out of the theater, "why did I ever agree to be in this damn show in the first place?"
"I don't think it's that bad," said Lewis Jones. "He has some original ideas, sure..."
"Original ideas?" Amy yelled, then spun her head as she heard the stage door fly open again behind her. "Original ideas?" she said quietly. "He's raping Shakespeare, its what he's doing."
"Bit overdramatic, aren't you?" Lewis continued as the three actors walked down the street. "The Tempest has been done so many different ways over the years. This isn't any different."
"He's turning Caliban into the Creature from the Black Lagoon--"
"Caliban was a big robot in Forbidden Planet..."
"--and Prospero into The Amazing Criswell!"
"Hey, I think putting it in a 50's B-Movie setting's kinda different," said Lewis.
"It's... It's... ugh," Amy said, hanging her head. "And the way he's doing Ariel..."
"Yeah, that is weird," Lewis admitted. "Who reads romantic tension between Ariel and Alonso? Seriously..."
"I shouldn't have accepted this," Amy sighed, flipping through her script under the street lamp. "This is the last time I do Tim any favors."
"Maybe we can pull a coup," said Lewis. "Get him to change his mind about some of this. Say we want a revolution, you know? What do you think, Ted? You in?"
"I don't know," said Ted Lupin, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "It's my first time working with Tim. I'm only the Boatswain. I don't think my threats would hold much water."
"Yeah, well, this isn't about who has a bigger part--"
"I'm the bloody Boatswain," Ted repeated. "My entire characterization is 'Oh, God, my boat!'"
"'57 Chevy," Lewis corrected, and Amy moaned at the reminder. "But you've read The Tempest, right? You have to have some opinion about what works and what doesn't."
"Well," Ted hesitated, "I just haven't... studied it as much as I probably should."
The fact of the matter was that Ted's experience with not only The Tempest, but every Shakespearean play had recently been next to zero. Before Aunt Jean had given him The Complete Works for his birthday just last spring, the only Shakespeare Ted had read was Winter's Tale, and that was only because his wife shared a name with one of the play's major characters. Being raised by witches and wizards had given Lupin a deep knowledge of magical art and literature. His Muggle upbringing, on the other hand, rarely offered anything so culturally deep, as most of his time spent with Hermione Caroline had been spent gaming, watching television, or doing the kind of things that teenagers in love usually did when they had the house to themselves.
"Maybe we can plot our attack over a pint," said Amy to Lewis and Ted. "You two wanna stop in The Angel, drown our sorrows?"
"I'm in," said Lewis. "Ted? Wanna see me and my girl drink each other under the table?"
As the watch he had been given when he became of age was hidden safely back at home, Lupin pulled out his mobile phone while the couple tightened their grip on each other, and checked the time: 7:55. "I should get going, actually," he said. "Another time?"
"Another time," Amy nodded.
"But you two can go," Ted said quickly. "Seriously, go, have a blast."
Amy and Lewis looked at each other uncomfortably. "No, it's not as much fun when its just the two of us getting pissed," said Amy. "We'll wait for a night when you can come with us."
"Yeah, we should head home," Lewis agreed. "Where do you live, anyway, Ted?"
"Clapham," said Ted.
"Get out of here," said Amy. "How can you afford to live there at your age?"
Well, Ted wanted to answer, my mother and father died in battle fighting evil wizards when I was only a month old. My mother the shapeshifter was a member of an elite magical crimefighting force, so when they died I was not only given their inheritance but a comfortable pension from the Ministry of Magic.
"My wife's a computer programmer," he said instead. It wasn't a complete untruth, as Hermione was already making a fine living for someone her age, but Ted had learned that short and simple were best when it came to his life's story. Around Muggles, at least.
"You have a wife, too?" said Lewis, stunned. "Bloody hell, how old are you?"
"Oh, come off it," said Amy, smacking Lewis's chest. "Didn't you see the ring on his finger? Don't listen to him," she said to Ted. "I think its absolutely lovely that you've found someone, no matter how old you are. Me, I didn't meet this bloke until I was thirty."
"She ran out of options, clearly," said Lewis with a smirk.
"So when do we get to meet her?" Amy insisted. "She'll come to the show, right? Maybe she can meet us at The Angel after rehearsal some night?"
"I think she'd like that," said Teddy. "I'll have to check with her, of course."
"Of course," said Amy.
"You'll have to forgive her," said Lewis. "She always gets so giddy when she meets new couples. So I take it you're on the Northern Line, then?"
"The what?" Ted asked.
"The Northern Line," said Lewis. "You take that to Clapham?"
"Oh," Teddy said with a forced laugh. "Yeah, yeah, the Northern Line. Yeah, absolutely, yeah."
"I'm surprised we haven't seen you yet," said Lewis. "We're on the Northern Line, too. We have a flat in Kennington."
I actually don't take the tube, Teddy's brain answered as he stammered for an answer he could actually give. I Apparate to rehearsal instead.
"I, um, guess I must get an earlier train than you," Teddy answered instead. "I... like to come early to grab something to eat before rehearsal."
"That makes sense," said Lewis as Ted released an internal sigh of relief. "Well, I guess we're riding together for once."
"Yeah," said Ted quietly, "yeah, I guess we're riding together."
I was planning to Apparate tonight because the premiere of Jimmy Porter is in five minutes and I won't be home for another half hour if I ride the Underground.
"Mind if I make a call?" he asked as the trio continued to the Angel station. When the two shook their head, he pulled out his phone and pressed the button marked Hermione. After a few moments of ringing, it picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, love," said Ted.
"Oh, hi," Hermione Caroline answered. "Where are you? The show starts in a few minutes."
"Just calling to make sure you're recording," Ted said carefully.
"You want me to record," said Hermione, picking up on what wasn't being said: I'm being held up by reasons that I can't really talk about, so start the TiVo without me. "Rehearsal run late?"
"No, no," said Ted, glancing over at the other couple. "Amy and Lewis say they want to meet you sometime, by the way."
"Amy and who?" Hermione said. "You're being Muggled, aren't you?"
"Yep."
"You can't Apparate?"
"Yep," he said with another quick glance at Amy and Lewis, who were both lost in their own conversation.
"So you have to take the Underground?"
"Yep."
"Blood hell," Hermione grumbled on the other side. "The Line's always a pain this time of night. Alright, TiVo's set. Are you still stopping to grab dinner for us, or am I left-overing?"
"Least I can do is get you your turkey sandwich, right?"
"At the very least," said Hermione with a tease in her voice. "Do I need to hide any magic?"
"Nope, lettuce and tomato only," he said cryptically, hoping she decoded it fine: Just me and you. No Muggles coming home with me.
"Alright," she said. "Love you."
"Love you, too."
"Now get off the phone, the show's starting."
Teddy chuckled as the phone clicked in his ear. The Adventures of Jimmy Porter, a show that had been teased on the BBC for the last month, was premiering that very evening. The plot was being kept tightly under wraps, which was astonishing in the Internet Age, but the creative team behind it had been touted for a while. A prime-time animated series by the writer of Wyrmwood and the design team responsible for the breathtaking Carbine, the show had drawn in an impressive array of voice talent from movies and television. The mysterious advertisements had simply shown the picture of a blond boy with a list of said voice talent scrolling behind him, followed by the words "Jimmy is Coming, September 2019."
Needless to say, Ted and Hermione had been looking forward to tonight for a good while.
Guess I'll have to wait a little longer, Ted thought as the three actors entered the tube station.
---------
Amy and Lewis's friendly interrogation continued as they awaited the train, and Ted was more than a little relieved when they departed at Kennington a half hour later. He was used to bending the truth around Muggles, but it became increasingly difficult in the face of their harmless questioning to not arouse suspicion.
They asked Ted about his schooling (Bristol, he lied smoothly) and his family ("I was raised by my grandmother," he said, "and my godfather." He was grateful when decorum required they not press the question further). They asked him how he met Hermione, a name which Amy, a Shakespeare aficionado, fell in love with from the moment she heard it. He told them that he and Hermione had been friends since they were in diapers, one of the few things that he was able to tell the entire truth about during their journey. He did, however, have to fudge the numbers a bit when Amy pressed for more information on the proposal and the wedding, but in the end she clutched her hand to her heart, deeming their history "terribly romantic," and Ted thought he covered well enough. Although he did silently remind himself to sit down with Hermione and straighten out the story before the she joined the cast at the pub.
Things got a little dicier when they began to ask him about his theatrical history, a favorite amongst actors: What have you done, what roles have you played, what actors have you done shows with, what companies have you worked, what are your dream roles, what embarrassing stories do you have to tell? When he said that he didn't have much to say, Lewis insisted.
"How is that possible?" he asked. "You seem like such a natural onstage, and we've barely even started rehearsing yet. You haven't done anything?"
"Just some local work back home," Ted shrugged. He had, in fact, performed over a dozen shows in London since finishing his schooling at Hogwarts, and had even plucked a few leading roles. Unfortunately, these were for shows like The Warlock's Hairy Heart, Thestral Tamer, and historical dramas dealing with the First War and with the Goblin Revolt. Shows that he could never tell the average Muggle. He had just last January scored the role of a lifetime when he was cast as Arthur Pen Draig in The Enchantment Company's production of The Muggle's Advisor, and even had a framed clipping of the review from the Prophet (his first) hanging in their game room.
The Tempest, however, was his first as a Muggle actor, and he had quickly discovered just how difficult it was starting at the beginning again, especially with the increased numbers in competition for the roles. It certainly didn't help that he wasn't allowed to use his metamorph abilities, instead relying only on the look he had chosen for himself after proposing to Hermione. He already wasn't looking forward to the stage makeup, which he could naturally create himself, and had even heard the director talk about coloring his hair, which meant that he'd have to do it the Muggle way: dyes and bleaches instead of just changing it with a thought.
You'll just have to deal with it, he thought to himself as Amy and Lewis regaled him with nightmare stories from their past productions. You really are living in both worlds now, for better or for worse.
And it wasn't all bad, really. He had read a good amount of The Complete Works after Jean and Hermione sat down with him and pointed out the more popular Shakespearean plays like Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet, and Richard III. Even during the initial read-through of The Tempest last week Ted had already been developing ideas for his own magical production down the line. For a Muggle show, Tempest would fit extremely well on a wizarding stage, he quickly discovered. That first night, as Hermione fell asleep in his arms, his mind was imagining what magically-enhanced special effects could do for Ariel, for Prospero, and for the storm. And if only he could have auditioned for Caliban as a metamorph....
His mind continued to race. Maybe, after The Tempest, witches and wizards would line up for Midsummer...
Eventually, the older couple exited the train, leaving Ted alone to continue his journey home. He debated getting off at the next station and Apparating from there, but decided that it would be safer to just travel the rest of the way by tube. He still wasn't completely comfortable with the area, after all, and couldn't be sure that he'd find a safe location to Disapparate.
Presently the train stopped at Clapham South, where Ted departed, made his way out of the station and onto Nightingale Lane. He walked about a block down the Lane, entering a Gregg's and ordering a turkey sandwich and a couple pasties as his brain continued to direct his own Shakespearean productions. He paid for his order, exited the store, turned into the alley, and disappeared with a crack that a passing Muggle assumed was simply some hooligans playing with firecrackers again.
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Ted reappeared a split-second later in the back yard of the Lupins' small two-story. As always, he had aimed for the dark corner of the surrounding fence, so as to not be seen by any Muggle neighbors who just happened to be looking out their window. Readjusting the bags of food, he let himself through the back door and into their small kitchen. As he pulled two plates from the cupboards, he heard the sound of muffled voices and music coming from the television in the sitting room.
She's already watching, he thought as he dug through the bags and pulled out their dinner. I'll just slip upstairs and play some games until it's done, then we can rewatch it.
"Ted?" Hermione Caroline called from the sitting room. "Are you home?"
"I'm home," he said, unwrapping the turkey sandwich. "Let me know when the adverts are on, alright? I'll bring you your dinner."
"Ted, you should get in here..."
"I'll watch the recording later," he said. "I don't want to get spoiled."
"Ted," she repeated, "get the hell in here. Now."
Something in the tone of his wife's voice made Ted pause in his unwrapping. She sounded nervous about something. Ted quickly grabbed two bottles of soda, threw them into his back pockets, and carried them and the two plates into the other room.
"What is it?" he asked. "Is the cable on the fritz? Should I call the repairman?"
Hermione, who was sitting on their couch, leaning forward on her knees, didn't answer him. She was staring intently at the television, an ancient 1080p job that she had gotten as a hand-me-down from Dan and Charlotte when she had first moved in with Danielle Wheeler.
"What is it?" Ted repeated. "The picture looks fine, what's wrong?"
He set the plates on the coffee table and was going to sit down beside Hermione when he got his first look at The Adventures of Jimmy Porter.
But he had seen it before. Or something like it.
The scene that was currently on screen depicted a milling crowd of pedestrians and shoppers walking the streets of an old-style London street. Ted quickly recognized the art style of Simon Tanaka, whose animation had gained popularity on every continent over the last decade. The "camera" pulled in on two figures, both drawn in Tanaka's distinctive blend of Japanese anime and Western realism.
The boy was small. Blond. Dressed in ratty clothes too big for him. His eyes seemed to want to look everywhere at once, like he had stepped into a world that had never known existed.
The man was tall and thin, dressed in a dark blue cloak and robe. He wore a long, white beard that matched the long hair down his back, which was topped with a pointed blue hat. A white owl was perched on his shoulder.
Teddy recognized the street instantly, but the sight of this man confirmed what he was seeing.
"I don't think you'll get spoiled," said Hermione quietly. "You've seen it all already."
"Bloody hell," Ted breathed, falling down on the couch beside her. "It's..."
"It's Diagon Alley," Hermione agreed.
And it was, in a way. It was like Tanaka had stepped through the gate behind The Leaky Cauldron with a pencil and paper and sketched away. There was Fortescues, with its umbrella-topped tables sitting out front. There was Madam Malkin's and Quality Quidditch Supplies. Off in the distance, Ted could see the high white stone that he instantly recognized as Gringott's.
Only it wasn't quite. Instead of Fortescues, the sign could be read Icee Creemies. Madam Malkin's was instead Robe Emporium, while Bedknobs and Broomsticks hung over the Quidditch door.
"They're not calling it Diagon Alley," said Hermione.
"Who's they?" Ted said, his voice sounding like it was coming from another planet. His heart stopped as the camera passed Jingling Jester's Jokes and Jollies, which was distinctly George Weasley's shop, and the young boy followed the old man into Woodcraft's Wandcraft.
"Olivander's," Ted whispered.
"Jimmy and the Professor," said Hermione. "They're not calling it Diagon Alley. Nothing's named right. It's... um... Sorceror's Street, I think."
"Jimmy and... the Professor?" Ted asked. "He looks like..."
"Dumbledore," said Hermione, nodding. "I thought it might be coincidence, but--"
She cut off as the characters began to speak, this time to an ancient, grizzled old man whose eyes lit up at their appearance.
"Ah, Jimmy Porter," the old man said. "I knew your time would come soon enough. I have just the wand for you."
The old man tottered behind his desk and pulled out a beaten wooden box. Setting it on the tabletop, he opened it. The camera angled down behind the box, which emitted a powerful golden glow that covered both the faces of the young blond boy and the old wizard.
"This wand was made especially for you," said the wandmaker. "Forged from the very same tree as the wand used by Dark Lord Kadaver. Forged just for you in order to defeat the man who killed your parents."
"Jimmy's parents were killed when he was a baby," said Hermione as the boy pulled the wand out of the box. Instantly, a powerful blue streak of energy coiled around his arm, and the background shifted from the walls of the wand shop to yellow and gold speed lines reminiscent of old Japanese animation. "Professor Presto brought him to live with his mother's aunt and her family," she continued, her eyes unable to tear themselves from the screen, "until he came to get him on his eleventh birthday."
"This is insane..." Ted said. "This can't be... What..."
"It's all a little different," Hermione said. "Jimmy's parents are described as powerful magic soldiers, like superheroes. They had a flashback, and they had uniforms and everything. Very cartoony. And Jimmy's cousin doesn't look like Mr. Dursley at all..."
"With this wand," said the Dumbledore clone calling himself Professor Presto as Jimmy, a deep scar emblazoned on his left cheek, held his wand aloft, "we will teach you the ways of magic, Jimmy Porter. With our help, we will defeat the Dark Lord Kadaver once and for all!"
"Its like they did their best to make sure the characters aren't exactly like their real-life counterparts," said Hermione as Teddy Lupin slid weakly down the couch, his eyes wide with shock. "But it's Harry, Ted. It's Harry's story in a Muggle cartoon."
"Hoot!" the white owl on Presto's shoulder hooted as the background music rose dramatically. "Better than secondary school, isn't it?"
"Be quiet, Hoot Hoot," said the old wandmaker.
"Or, um, maybe not exactly like Harry's story," Hermione said helplessly as the three cartoon characters burst into cheesy laughter at the talking Snowy Owl.
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