I know its silly, but not a day goes by where I don't fear that I won't make it till tomorrow or the day after. And I ask myself if I'm really making it worth my while. How can I turn my life into something that I am happy with? With all of my blessings.. how come I'm not happy?That is not silly. I feel the same way, and I have never met anyone that has said it as articulate as you. I complain about how hard my life is sometimes and then I take a look around and realize that my life is wonderful compared to alot of other people. However even though I am in a "good" position I cannot help but think that there should be something more out there or that I am missing something
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I can't determine whether that entry was morbid or enlightening. It doesn't even explain half of what goes on in my life, because a lot of people on here already know..
I know in the past I've made my happiness depend somewhat on other people and I have been let down again and again and from that I'm trying to learn. But unfortunately things don't happen over night. Living with a therapist, I always get the whole "you have to completely love yourself to successfully love another or to be truly happy" speech all of the time! It gets annoying after its said ten times a day seventy times a week. But I know that's how it is.
And I try to write it how it is. I love writing and Lj is just a tool in which I am able to do so.
I just wish I had the energy to look up now and then.
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I know in the past I've made my happiness depend somewhat on other people and I have been let down again and again and from that I'm trying to learn. But unfortunately things don't happen over night. Living with a therapist, I always get the whole "you have to completely love yourself to successfully love another or to be truly happy" speech all of the time! It gets annoying after its said ten times a day seventy times a week. But I know that's how it is.
And I try to write it how it is. I love writing and Lj is just a tool in which I am able to do so.
I just wish I had the energy to look up now and then.
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