My Minds Adrift: Chapter One
My Minds Adrift: Chapter One
A soft tune whistled it’s way through the hair of the trees. It seemed to tease the senses of the new limbs being held by their mother oh so gently. The giggles of the new life could be heard whistling with the effortless venture of the harmonic motions as they stirred up the entire village.
Immediately feeling the rhythm move from the trees to myself, I could not help but feel myself drift into endless space of time. Letting my senses give in to the serene chaos of the teasing, I felt as if I were a newborn, anxiously awaiting the new venture ahead of me. What it held wouldn’t be known until I was thrust in it with full force.
I felt my stomach lurch to and fro as the scenes in front of me changed from brilliant clouds of fluorescents to the dull greys of dust. Helpless to do anything to prevent it, I dared to travel it’s treacherous course head on. The curiosity of what lay at the end urged the feelings further, sending me deeper into the chaos. With each birthing of a refreshing hugh, I could feel myself drifting weightlessly above the everchanging foreground.
I could feel laughter bottling up within me. I would have laughed if I could have but just when everything seemed to come to a soft, smooth stop, it renew itself with deafening force. Spinning inside out, I tried to catch myself.
A sweet melancholy voice struck me suddenly and unexpectedly, despite the loud calls of the unrelentingly current of the mysterious force. I tried desperately to grasp a hold of the new interruption. I didn’t care whether it held life or death in it’s enchanting quiet call. My heart leapt at the temptation, as it were greater than the force pulling me into it’s grasp.
I gasped in exasperation as my tries became more difficult with time. It seemed a long time since I’d begun my journey drifting in this strange place. I began to realize, that as luring as it may have seemed in the beginning, I may be stuck forever.
Closing my eyes, I wondered if this were but a strange dream or hallucination. There had to be some reasonable explanation. Anything.
I heard the voice beckon once more. I scanned around me for a sign of the source. Hopeful it was calling to me, I did what I could to put aside the distraction of the various changing hue background and the still boiling curiosity of what lie at the end of it.
I recognized something vaguely in the distance. It was too far away to give any details but it felt oddly familiar. Some odd emotion that I could not identify overcame me as I tried will all my might to reach the distance and grasp that which I desired.
Pulling all my limbs together into a cannon ball, I prepared for the worst. I felt my body pull backward , the pull of the mysterious force attempting to reclaim what was once it’s own; me. Muscling up my courage over the panic that threatened to annex, I pushed my legs outward in a rushed motion that sent my head dizzy. I had no way of knowing whether I was making progress but I knew that if I didn’t try now, I’d never be able to live with myself being a coward in the heat of the moment. If I were going to make it over there, I’d need to put more effort than was being currently committed.
Feeling my legs burn with exhaustion, I extended my arms to try to level close to the equivalent of swimming my way to the desired target. It is true that this wasn’t a river or lake, but if this same motion brought me but a little closer, it would be worth it.
Focusing ahead, as if the target ahead were a light in a dark forest, I kept my efforts forward and steady. I recognized it wouldn’t be as easy as I thought. I would just have to keep trying.
All the courage in the world couldn’t tame the sea, even if it had wanted to. Even in that case, the courage to try to tame the sea would bring the courage to ride the sea without fear of death. In this case, I would try to tame my fear of losing myself in this place.
I could feel the exhaustion lurk it’s way up my legs to my arms in a torturous, creeping manner. It took it’s time, numbing inch by inch, much to my dismay. No matter how much it tried to wear me down, It wasn’t going to win! Mustering up more courage than I thought I’d ever had, I pressed on, leaving my thoughts to keep my mind off of the distractions being presented.
Why was I here? The closest I came to a reasonable explanation of this fascinating and mysterious place was the object I was trying to reach. It seemed familiar but I couldn’t place why it would seem familiar, especially in such an odd place such as this. I’d never recalled visiting here before.
Time seemed to go by slowly as I kept my steady pace. Little by little, I noticed the force grew stronger the more effort I put into it. Just when I felt like I’d pass out with exhaustion, I’d put more pull into my fluid motion. I was going to tame the ocean.
‘I’m swimming in the ocean’ I kept thinking to myself ‘There’s a beautiful Island ahead with a delicious meal prepared.’ I couldn’t help but smile at the thought. It was a decent addition to the reward ahead. Before I could continue, my thoughts were interrupted by a new note introduction to the already boisterous comings and goings that thrived tenaciously around me.
I could hear the gentle whip of the waves, caressing the shoreline with each of its sensual motions. Each was planned and done with delight. Though I knew it was quite a distance away, I felt myself giggle in between the chattering of my teeth, as if the waves were caressing me. The water was suddenly becoming more chill.
It came to my attention that the warmth of my body against the cold, brought on a new meaning. It was no longer remained a force trying to pull me back, but something different and just as dangerous. No matter what form it changed itself into, it would always be a worm shifting through the soil under me. If I kept steady, I’d be at the end before I knew it.
If I’d already made it this far, I’d have to continue or else all my efforts would be in vain. I strained to concentrate ahead on the visual of my destination. To my delight, I noticed progress.
The features were imperceivable from this distance. My speculation was purely presumed by what I could barely make out in the dark silhouette created by the bright background. From my presumption, the destination was long and tall with what seemed to be bushy hair. Suddently, I became enchanted by the ever-changing background once again. The hue transformed from the bright hues to the mature graduation of soft white light. This new conversion put my mind at ease the instant I let my thoughts absorb its meaning.
All the pain my body had been enduring seemed to melt away with the transformation before me. No longer was the weightless feeling alone. It was accompanied by no feeling in my body at all. Sometime here, every part of me had mysteriously become numb.
Whatever affair was making its presence known was beyond my manipulation. I wasn’t going to let stop my progress. I reminded myself, in a silent prayer, to continue moving forward. There was only one way to find my answer: continue on the current path I’d chosen. Doing this in a fashion of which my whole heart wasn’t in it would disappoint me beyond words later.
For a moment I doubted myself. Startled, I Blinked. Realizing what I’d just done, I glanced curiously at my arms and legs. They had been in motion until my doubting instant. They were stubbornly still, refusing to move any further.
With an unexpected thrust, I looked forward, curious as to what recently had come about. Everything around me almost blurred at the speed I was sailing to the unexpected strength of the gravity that presented itself not long ago. I gave into the gravity wondering whether it was a good idea to so such a thing. The gravity seemed to have a feeling of calm, peaceful intentions.
Just as I was becoming accustomed to everything, my arms, face and legs seemed to hurt immensely. The pain didn’t spread like it would normally. It hurt in spots, moving frequently to and fro at its own will. It was as if someone were poking a bruise with a sharp stick intentionally and laughing at me.
In an attempt to distract myself from this inconvenience, I focused on where I was being pulled. The dark figure in the bright background was fading at such in intense speed that it made my head spin. I felt as if I’d drunk a whole bottle of the bar tenders ‘special juice’. I rubbed my eyes, trying to think of pleasant thoughts.
Covering my face instinctively to protect myself from the impact of the instant rush into the fading brilliance of the destination, I waited in anticipation for something major to attack me. The pain continued the unrelenting course despite the lack of anything else being added to the pile.
Once my face was uncovered, I stared dumbfounded at the lush forest near me. It seemed to stare back at me in a manner that caught me between curious and mocking. I wasn’t under its protective cover from my current position. It seemed dark and ominous. The bone deep cold it produced took away any feeling of comfort.
Numb and cold were the only things I began to realize as I scanned the surrounding scene. Something white was falling from the sky, trying to bury me in my cold prison of misery. It seemed as if there was no sign of quitting.
My whole body had, at sometime, become numb. ‘Was this the feeling that happened when you were dying?’ crossed by mind. Shaking the thought out of my head, as if it were made-up nonsense, I prepared for what reality had prepared for me.
Lifting my arms behind me proved to be a more painful process than I’d have expected. A painful static, the way your arm feels when it’s been positioned under your body for too long, spread from the cold and stiff muscles in my arms to the almost retired muscles in my entire upper body.
Suspecting the current weather to bear worse effects than it had already, I longed for a warm fire and a hot meal.
Placing myself in a sitting position, I watched the forest in its fluid motions in its response to the winds swaying call. The discomfort of the cold hail became drowned out by the hypnotic sound of its own decent.
I felt my eyes haze over as they focused onto the hypnotic sound of the waves of hail and the rejoicing dance of the trees as they flowed to the rhythm of the wind. The forest closed its eyes as every moment of the gift was savored.
I was reminded of a child experimenting the first tasting of a fresh watermelon just off of the crop. I could see the big grin come across the face of the child. I could hear the giggles of all the other children whom had already experienced the thrill of the sweetness on their tongue. Last but not lease, the children asking for more could be heard distinctly in the distance.
The persistence of the wind brought me out of my thoughts as I began to get up. ‘Sure’, I thought, ‘Beat on someone when they’re down. Pick the most opportune moment.’
Through the moan and groan of aching cold muscles, I gradually came to the equilibrium necessary to balance my body weight. I could feel my teeth chatter uncontrollably when the wind trotted on its merry way. My clothes felt cold and sticky, clinging to my body in victory. Oh, how a longed to be out of this dreary cold that the forest had an immunity to. I envied the forest.
During the summer, the sweet lullaby of the winged residence would sing together in perfect harmony, lulling the forest into a content mentality. A soft dance in response to the gentle harmony would send the trees inviting the neighbors into similar spirit.
With fall following, the extra weight would make the annual journey to the forest floor, preparing the soil for another year of prosperity. Through the timed precision of the shedding, the warning of old-man winters visit would be spread loud and clear. The long nights slumber of winters commencement would migrate its way to all who reside, spreading the message that it was only visiting for a season.
The frosty bite of old-man winters planned visit would have no effect on the hibernating residence. They were the lucky ones. The ones who remained awake and alert to his migration, would find the only comfort in thick skins and cottons, as well as having at hand already prepared logs in a solid shelter to last through the tantrums of wise old-man winter.
With old-man winter waving his farewells on his way to follow the clouds and streams who would lead him to his next destination, spring would awaken, spreading its arms and legs in a yawn of honeyed pollen.
Where the forest life would be scavenging for a small meal to keep the tummy from rumbling, new life had sprung from the womb. Cautious mothers kept their young close and watchful, proud fathers brought food to their young. Both parents rejoiced as their offspring ate and slept happily in their new homes. The young would probably grow up strong as their forefathers had.
As wonderful as it is to know of the new offspring that comes with winters end, I cannot forget about the life that each new member is replacing. With winter, the lives that had perished from the harsh weather had at least died quietly in their sleep. It was an admirable death in my eyes.
There is one part about nature’s way of handling death that I can say I truly respect. When a member passed on, there was a short time of mourning and the remains of the once alive flesh became the soil that enriched the young of new.
I forced myself to put the aside any discomfort I was feeling with the intent to get out of the open. Caution screamed for a stop but I kept going, keeping my steps slow and paced. Though each step was painful, I knew effort was required to get anything accomplished. After all, didn’t each journey always started with a step?
Countering the blowing wind with quiet steady movements, I focused on the shelter of the forest roof ahead. It promised comfort and warmth once I got a fire started and a temporary roof of tree limbs covered under some long leaves for further protection from the falling hail.
I envisioned the temporary roof over my head and the relief of not having cold and wet hail pounding me in glory. My hands were set around a stick which stood straight up on top of a setup of wood that would be the future place of a nice, bright and warm campfire.
I could feel the warmth in my hands emitted from the rubbing of the sticks. The joyous warmth spread throughout my arms bringing back all pleasurable feeling. A nice rest would ensue not long after the fire was crackling. A few more logs set in the path of the newborn fire would send it into adulthood, keeping it going long enough for the drying of all articles of clothing.
I watched the fire, playfully batting at the air leaping around it. Like a newborn, the fire never ceased to play, even past my eyelids growing heavy with exhaustion.
I felt exhaustion spread from my eyelids to my entire body. My legs became wobbly, no longer caring to function any longer. With lethargic reflex, my arms made a vain effort to catch myself before I fell onto the forest ground. I was not aware of when I lost my footing nor the fact that I was losing consciousness until it was too late. I was foolish.
A soft tune whistled it’s way through the hair of the trees. It seemed to tease the senses of the new limbs being held by their mother oh so gently. The giggles of the new life could be heard whistling with the effortless venture of the harmonic motions as they stirred up the entire village.
Immediately feeling the rhythm move from the trees to myself, I could not help but feel myself drift into endless space of time. Letting my senses give in to the serene chaos of the teasing, I felt as if I were a newborn, anxiously awaiting the new venture ahead of me. What it held wouldn’t be known until I was thrust in it with full force.
I felt my stomach lurch to and fro as the scenes in front of me changed from brilliant clouds of fluorescents to the dull greys of dust. Helpless to do anything to prevent it, I dared to travel it’s treacherous course head on. The curiosity of what lay at the end urged the feelings further, sending me deeper into the chaos. With each birthing of a refreshing hugh, I could feel myself drifting weightlessly above the everchanging foreground.
I could feel laughter bottling up within me. I would have laughed if I could have but just when everything seemed to come to a soft, smooth stop, it renew itself with deafening force. Spinning inside out, I tried to catch myself.
A sweet melancholy voice struck me suddenly and unexpectedly, despite the loud calls of the unrelentingly current of the mysterious force. I tried desperately to grasp a hold of the new interruption. I didn’t care whether it held life or death in it’s enchanting quiet call. My heart leapt at the temptation, as it were greater than the force pulling me into it’s grasp.
I gasped in exasperation as my tries became more difficult with time. It seemed a long time since I’d begun my journey drifting in this strange place. I began to realize, that as luring as it may have seemed in the beginning, I may be stuck forever.
Closing my eyes, I wondered if this were but a strange dream or hallucination. There had to be some reasonable explanation. Anything.
I heard the voice beckon once more. I scanned around me for a sign of the source. Hopeful it was calling to me, I did what I could to put aside the distraction of the various changing hue background and the still boiling curiosity of what lie at the end of it.
I recognized something vaguely in the distance. It was too far away to give any details but it felt oddly familiar. Some odd emotion that I could not identify overcame me as I tried will all my might to reach the distance and grasp that which I desired.
Pulling all my limbs together into a cannon ball, I prepared for the worst. I felt my body pull backward , the pull of the mysterious force attempting to reclaim what was once it’s own; me. Muscling up my courage over the panic that threatened to annex, I pushed my legs outward in a rushed motion that sent my head dizzy. I had no way of knowing whether I was making progress but I knew that if I didn’t try now, I’d never be able to live with myself being a coward in the heat of the moment. If I were going to make it over there, I’d need to put more effort than was being currently committed.
Feeling my legs burn with exhaustion, I extended my arms to try to level close to the equivalent of swimming my way to the desired target. It is true that this wasn’t a river or lake, but if this same motion brought me but a little closer, it would be worth it.
Focusing ahead, as if the target ahead were a light in a dark forest, I kept my efforts forward and steady. I recognized it wouldn’t be as easy as I thought. I would just have to keep trying.
All the courage in the world couldn’t tame the sea, even if it had wanted to. Even in that case, the courage to try to tame the sea would bring the courage to ride the sea without fear of death. In this case, I would try to tame my fear of losing myself in this place.
I could feel the exhaustion lurk it’s way up my legs to my arms in a torturous, creeping manner. It took it’s time, numbing inch by inch, much to my dismay. No matter how much it tried to wear me down, It wasn’t going to win! Mustering up more courage than I thought I’d ever had, I pressed on, leaving my thoughts to keep my mind off of the distractions being presented.
Why was I here? The closest I came to a reasonable explanation of this fascinating and mysterious place was the object I was trying to reach. It seemed familiar but I couldn’t place why it would seem familiar, especially in such an odd place such as this. I’d never recalled visiting here before.
Time seemed to go by slowly as I kept my steady pace. Little by little, I noticed the force grew stronger the more effort I put into it. Just when I felt like I’d pass out with exhaustion, I’d put more pull into my fluid motion. I was going to tame the ocean.
‘I’m swimming in the ocean’ I kept thinking to myself ‘There’s a beautiful Island ahead with a delicious meal prepared.’ I couldn’t help but smile at the thought. It was a decent addition to the reward ahead. Before I could continue, my thoughts were interrupted by a new note introduction to the already boisterous comings and goings that thrived tenaciously around me.
I could hear the gentle whip of the waves, caressing the shoreline with each of its sensual motions. Each was planned and done with delight. Though I knew it was quite a distance away, I felt myself giggle in between the chattering of my teeth, as if the waves were caressing me. The water was suddenly becoming more chill.
It came to my attention that the warmth of my body against the cold, brought on a new meaning. It was no longer remained a force trying to pull me back, but something different and just as dangerous. No matter what form it changed itself into, it would always be a worm shifting through the soil under me. If I kept steady, I’d be at the end before I knew it.
If I’d already made it this far, I’d have to continue or else all my efforts would be in vain. I strained to concentrate ahead on the visual of my destination. To my delight, I noticed progress.
The features were imperceivable from this distance. My speculation was purely presumed by what I could barely make out in the dark silhouette created by the bright background. From my presumption, the destination was long and tall with what seemed to be bushy hair. Suddently, I became enchanted by the ever-changing background once again. The hue transformed from the bright hues to the mature graduation of soft white light. This new conversion put my mind at ease the instant I let my thoughts absorb its meaning.
All the pain my body had been enduring seemed to melt away with the transformation before me. No longer was the weightless feeling alone. It was accompanied by no feeling in my body at all. Sometime here, every part of me had mysteriously become numb.
Whatever affair was making its presence known was beyond my manipulation. I wasn’t going to let stop my progress. I reminded myself, in a silent prayer, to continue moving forward. There was only one way to find my answer: continue on the current path I’d chosen. Doing this in a fashion of which my whole heart wasn’t in it would disappoint me beyond words later.
For a moment I doubted myself. Startled, I Blinked. Realizing what I’d just done, I glanced curiously at my arms and legs. They had been in motion until my doubting instant. They were stubbornly still, refusing to move any further.
With an unexpected thrust, I looked forward, curious as to what recently had come about. Everything around me almost blurred at the speed I was sailing to the unexpected strength of the gravity that presented itself not long ago. I gave into the gravity wondering whether it was a good idea to so such a thing. The gravity seemed to have a feeling of calm, peaceful intentions.
Just as I was becoming accustomed to everything, my arms, face and legs seemed to hurt immensely. The pain didn’t spread like it would normally. It hurt in spots, moving frequently to and fro at its own will. It was as if someone were poking a bruise with a sharp stick intentionally and laughing at me.
In an attempt to distract myself from this inconvenience, I focused on where I was being pulled. The dark figure in the bright background was fading at such in intense speed that it made my head spin. I felt as if I’d drunk a whole bottle of the bar tenders ‘special juice’. I rubbed my eyes, trying to think of pleasant thoughts.
Covering my face instinctively to protect myself from the impact of the instant rush into the fading brilliance of the destination, I waited in anticipation for something major to attack me. The pain continued the unrelenting course despite the lack of anything else being added to the pile.
Once my face was uncovered, I stared dumbfounded at the lush forest near me. It seemed to stare back at me in a manner that caught me between curious and mocking. I wasn’t under its protective cover from my current position. It seemed dark and ominous. The bone deep cold it produced took away any feeling of comfort.
Numb and cold were the only things I began to realize as I scanned the surrounding scene. Something white was falling from the sky, trying to bury me in my cold prison of misery. It seemed as if there was no sign of quitting.
My whole body had, at sometime, become numb. ‘Was this the feeling that happened when you were dying?’ crossed by mind. Shaking the thought out of my head, as if it were made-up nonsense, I prepared for what reality had prepared for me.
Lifting my arms behind me proved to be a more painful process than I’d have expected. A painful static, the way your arm feels when it’s been positioned under your body for too long, spread from the cold and stiff muscles in my arms to the almost retired muscles in my entire upper body.
Suspecting the current weather to bear worse effects than it had already, I longed for a warm fire and a hot meal.
Placing myself in a sitting position, I watched the forest in its fluid motions in its response to the winds swaying call. The discomfort of the cold hail became drowned out by the hypnotic sound of its own decent.
I felt my eyes haze over as they focused onto the hypnotic sound of the waves of hail and the rejoicing dance of the trees as they flowed to the rhythm of the wind. The forest closed its eyes as every moment of the gift was savored.
I was reminded of a child experimenting the first tasting of a fresh watermelon just off of the crop. I could see the big grin come across the face of the child. I could hear the giggles of all the other children whom had already experienced the thrill of the sweetness on their tongue. Last but not lease, the children asking for more could be heard distinctly in the distance.
The persistence of the wind brought me out of my thoughts as I began to get up. ‘Sure’, I thought, ‘Beat on someone when they’re down. Pick the most opportune moment.’
Through the moan and groan of aching cold muscles, I gradually came to the equilibrium necessary to balance my body weight. I could feel my teeth chatter uncontrollably when the wind trotted on its merry way. My clothes felt cold and sticky, clinging to my body in victory. Oh, how a longed to be out of this dreary cold that the forest had an immunity to. I envied the forest.
During the summer, the sweet lullaby of the winged residence would sing together in perfect harmony, lulling the forest into a content mentality. A soft dance in response to the gentle harmony would send the trees inviting the neighbors into similar spirit.
With fall following, the extra weight would make the annual journey to the forest floor, preparing the soil for another year of prosperity. Through the timed precision of the shedding, the warning of old-man winters visit would be spread loud and clear. The long nights slumber of winters commencement would migrate its way to all who reside, spreading the message that it was only visiting for a season.
The frosty bite of old-man winters planned visit would have no effect on the hibernating residence. They were the lucky ones. The ones who remained awake and alert to his migration, would find the only comfort in thick skins and cottons, as well as having at hand already prepared logs in a solid shelter to last through the tantrums of wise old-man winter.
With old-man winter waving his farewells on his way to follow the clouds and streams who would lead him to his next destination, spring would awaken, spreading its arms and legs in a yawn of honeyed pollen.
Where the forest life would be scavenging for a small meal to keep the tummy from rumbling, new life had sprung from the womb. Cautious mothers kept their young close and watchful, proud fathers brought food to their young. Both parents rejoiced as their offspring ate and slept happily in their new homes. The young would probably grow up strong as their forefathers had.
As wonderful as it is to know of the new offspring that comes with winters end, I cannot forget about the life that each new member is replacing. With winter, the lives that had perished from the harsh weather had at least died quietly in their sleep. It was an admirable death in my eyes.
There is one part about nature’s way of handling death that I can say I truly respect. When a member passed on, there was a short time of mourning and the remains of the once alive flesh became the soil that enriched the young of new.
I forced myself to put the aside any discomfort I was feeling with the intent to get out of the open. Caution screamed for a stop but I kept going, keeping my steps slow and paced. Though each step was painful, I knew effort was required to get anything accomplished. After all, didn’t each journey always started with a step?
Countering the blowing wind with quiet steady movements, I focused on the shelter of the forest roof ahead. It promised comfort and warmth once I got a fire started and a temporary roof of tree limbs covered under some long leaves for further protection from the falling hail.
I envisioned the temporary roof over my head and the relief of not having cold and wet hail pounding me in glory. My hands were set around a stick which stood straight up on top of a setup of wood that would be the future place of a nice, bright and warm campfire.
I could feel the warmth in my hands emitted from the rubbing of the sticks. The joyous warmth spread throughout my arms bringing back all pleasurable feeling. A nice rest would ensue not long after the fire was crackling. A few more logs set in the path of the newborn fire would send it into adulthood, keeping it going long enough for the drying of all articles of clothing.
I watched the fire, playfully batting at the air leaping around it. Like a newborn, the fire never ceased to play, even past my eyelids growing heavy with exhaustion.
I felt exhaustion spread from my eyelids to my entire body. My legs became wobbly, no longer caring to function any longer. With lethargic reflex, my arms made a vain effort to catch myself before I fell onto the forest ground. I was not aware of when I lost my footing nor the fact that I was losing consciousness until it was too late. I was foolish.