[When the transmission starts, it's black. Then light is visible and starts to grow, and a floor appears, a wall, part of a doorway, going by in a sweep as the Hitomi's lifted
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[Video] [Private]in_starvationSeptember 16 2010, 16:04:52 UTC
Yeah, I'm heading over the Yomisato place right now. Isn't weird that when you look at the map, Yomisato looks like it would take at least a few days to get there from Hisato, but really takes less than an hour or so? It's a bit disorientating, really.
[Matt's there to meet her, smoking another cigarette. He's dusted the dirt off the knees of his jeans, and generally done his best to stop looking like a guy on the edge of snapping. The Hitomi, irritatingly unharmed, is in his back pocket.]
[Action]in_starvationSeptember 18 2010, 02:16:06 UTC
Hi, Matt.
[She walks up to him, taking off one of her sandals and start shaking the sand out of it. Yeah, she needs to find something else to wear other than short dresses.]
[Action]in_starvationSeptember 18 2010, 03:55:16 UTC
[Dammit, is what Jessica thinks as she empties out her other sandal of sand. But soon Matt said something else . . .
Wait hang on. What is Matt trying to say?
Oh.]
Oh.
[She pauses before following Matt's lead.]
Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised? . . . Though I want to say that I'm really sorry that I appear all, you know, stiff and horrible. I just didn't know what to do with you guys.
[Action]in_starvationSeptember 18 2010, 04:09:35 UTC
Oh, no, god no! I really wanted, you know, to be really, uh, down with it. But with you guys as high as Pluto, I didn't know if ya'll would really consent if you were sober in the first place. I didn't want to uh, um, oh god -
[And here is the hard part because the words are so clinical and yet so ugly. So she lowers her voice to a whisper while maintaining eye contact with Matt.]
- sexually assaulting you guys without realizing it?
[God, she's so fucking embarrassed, but it's the God's honest truth. She's been dreading to say it, but she has to.]
[Oh, that's what it is. Matt puts a hand lightly on her shoulder. He'd almost be amused if she weren't so clearly mortified, because, wow, is there no reason to be at all.]
Hey. If you were capable of acting like that in the first place, it would never even occur to you to worry about it.
[And he feels like he can speak for Mello in this case.]
We were just, like. Dazzled by you. And everything feels so good when you're on V. I wish you could've felt it too.
[Action]in_starvationSeptember 18 2010, 04:38:32 UTC
I guess.
[But it's not like that. Sometimes, Jessica feels like there's two separate rooms in her head: one is where Jessica lives out as normally as she can be, trying to socialized when she was horribly cut off while the other room has this side to her, the side that is strong and clear-cut in her desires and needs.
Like her desire to drink blood.
Or her desire to meet someone new.
Or to terrify her own family.]
You're right.
[Just as lightly put her hand between Matt's shoulders. Because she feels she can do so, now, with him now actually aware.]
I wish I could. I wish I could have experienced a lot of things as a human before I got turned, but I never did had a lot of options back then. Or even the ability to really do anything, really. Like that time I told you about getting drunk in Mississippi? Totally a one-time thing.
[He blinks at her, and it's a weird feeling, not quite sorry for her, not quite guilty, but in the neighborhood of both. Matt never really lived in a world as narrow as that, not that he can remember very well. Whisked off to England from the system at eleven, he's never really known what it's like to feel truly stuck, though of course he thought he did. But Japan was within reach as easily as San Diego, by the time he went there from LA. His world was bigger than hers, and yet small enough to traverse almost with a thought.
Her hand feels nice, there. Comforting, almost as simple as things felt with Mello when they were high.]
You can do some of those things now, can't you? You can do anything you want.
[Action]in_starvationSeptember 18 2010, 05:07:06 UTC
Yeah, that's true. As long as it's dark outside, anyway. Hard to do anything when you're fried to a crisp out in the sun, huh?
[Another pause.]
Did you know that onions doesn't bother vampires? Well, they do, but they are just annoying as hell. And crosses don't bother us either. Isn't that weird?
Is there something wrong, Matt?
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[He finds he's eager to see her, so he starts walking out of the city to meet her on the way.]
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[As quickly as she can by using her vampire speed, she goes to the Yomisato entry.
In the same amount of time it takes for her if she just walked.
Dammit.]
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Hey.
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[She walks up to him, taking off one of her sandals and start shaking the sand out of it. Yeah, she needs to find something else to wear other than short dresses.]
How are you doing, really?
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I just feel... weird. Not all the time. In, like, flashbacks. [That leave him feeling hopelessly lonely or embarrassingly, well, horny.]
Have you ever heard of that happening?
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No. I mean, I assumed you might have felt something, but I wasn't too sure, to be honest.
[She pauses.]
Do you remember everything that has happened that night?
[She hopes to God Himself that he doesn't remember her being all stiff and all pathetic.]
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Yeah, I remember all of it.
[He takes a puff, blows it out, chews on his lower lip for a second. He has a weird feeling that if he doesn't tell her now, he never will.]
Me and M, we kind of. Um. Y'know.
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Wait hang on. What is Matt trying to say?
Oh.]
Oh.
[She pauses before following Matt's lead.]
Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised? . . . Though I want to say that I'm really sorry that I appear all, you know, stiff and horrible. I just didn't know what to do with you guys.
Reply
[It must have been weird to be on the outside of that, though he certainly didn't feel like she was outside at the time.]
I wasn't totally obnoxious, was I?
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[And here is the hard part because the words are so clinical and yet so ugly. So she lowers her voice to a whisper while maintaining eye contact with Matt.]
- sexually assaulting you guys without realizing it?
[God, she's so fucking embarrassed, but it's the God's honest truth. She's been dreading to say it, but she has to.]
Reply
Hey. If you were capable of acting like that in the first place, it would never even occur to you to worry about it.
[And he feels like he can speak for Mello in this case.]
We were just, like. Dazzled by you. And everything feels so good when you're on V. I wish you could've felt it too.
Reply
[But it's not like that. Sometimes, Jessica feels like there's two separate rooms in her head: one is where Jessica lives out as normally as she can be, trying to socialized when she was horribly cut off while the other room has this side to her, the side that is strong and clear-cut in her desires and needs.
Like her desire to drink blood.
Or her desire to meet someone new.
Or to terrify her own family.]
You're right.
[Just as lightly put her hand between Matt's shoulders. Because she feels she can do so, now, with him now actually aware.]
I wish I could. I wish I could have experienced a lot of things as a human before I got turned, but I never did had a lot of options back then. Or even the ability to really do anything, really. Like that time I told you about getting drunk in Mississippi? Totally a one-time thing.
Reply
Her hand feels nice, there. Comforting, almost as simple as things felt with Mello when they were high.]
You can do some of those things now, can't you? You can do anything you want.
Reply
[Another pause.]
Did you know that onions doesn't bother vampires? Well, they do, but they are just annoying as hell. And crosses don't bother us either. Isn't that weird?
Reply
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