[Elfangor has seen this man's dreams before. Always turned away from them, never replied, because they reminded him too much of memories best left dampened--being torn apart with his own tail blade by a vengeful bastard, only to die and be sent to die in the world he'd come from as well, eaten alive, ripped flesh and bone and blood, too much blood--
No. He will not think on that.
Instead, his thoughts churn, turning their sharp edge resentfully against this man. Who is he, to shove this in their (his) face with such frequency? Does he think he is the only one to have suffered terrible pain? And yet, he seems to wallow in it, when the only conscionable thing to do is to push it away, no, no, don't think about it, don't ever think about it, it only makes it worse, makes you a coward and a failure--
He knows it isn't fair. But for once, he does not care, and he speaks in clipped tones.]
Whether you bleed or not has no bearing on your existence here, or anyone else's. The only thing that matters is healing, and not making the scars
( ... )
It has to do with everything. [He's not angry, not quite. His voice vibrates with a sheer intensity, as if he's poured his entire being into those words, his voice coming out cracked and harsh.]
It's proof, don't you see? Blood, scars, all of it. I look at them and I see a man, a real living man. The scars, they're just my story, my history written out across my skin. I know then, that it's not in my mind, that all those memories are real, and not just some construct.
[But that's it, isn't it? Grayson remembers him, and Jason doesn't remember any of it, and if that's wrong, then the whole house of cards comes tumbling down, and then maybe he really is nothing but a fake, a fake with a dead boy's memories stuffed into his head. ]
What proof are scars? Scars heal, more thoroughly for some. [He considers for a moment, then speaks aloud his thoughts,] Particularly if you possess a certain type of technology that restructures your body, removing any trace of injury.
Does that make the past, your memories, any less real? I do not think so. [He taps a finger to the side of his head.] A body may help to shape your remembered experiences, but that does not determine who you are.
[If that were so, what would that make him? Andalite, human; he was both, yet neither truly, if this man's existential crisis carried any merit. Which is all the more reason for Elfangor to give little weight to his skewed perspective.]
No. He will not think on that.
Instead, his thoughts churn, turning their sharp edge resentfully against this man. Who is he, to shove this in their (his) face with such frequency? Does he think he is the only one to have suffered terrible pain? And yet, he seems to wallow in it, when the only conscionable thing to do is to push it away, no, no, don't think about it, don't ever think about it, it only makes it worse, makes you a coward and a failure--
He knows it isn't fair. But for once, he does not care, and he speaks in clipped tones.]
Whether you bleed or not has no bearing on your existence here, or anyone else's. The only thing that matters is healing, and not making the scars ( ... )
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It's proof, don't you see? Blood, scars, all of it. I look at them and I see a man, a real living man. The scars, they're just my story, my history written out across my skin. I know then, that it's not in my mind, that all those memories are real, and not just some construct.
[But that's it, isn't it? Grayson remembers him, and Jason doesn't remember any of it, and if that's wrong, then the whole house of cards comes tumbling down, and then maybe he really is nothing but a fake, a fake with a dead boy's memories stuffed into his head. ]
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Does that make the past, your memories, any less real? I do not think so. [He taps a finger to the side of his head.] A body may help to shape your remembered experiences, but that does not determine who you are.
[If that were so, what would that make him? Andalite, human; he was both, yet neither truly, if this man's existential crisis carried any merit. Which is all the more reason for Elfangor to give little weight to his skewed perspective.]
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