[Week 15, day 1, slightly backdated voice]
[Matt wakes up, it feels like waking up (he can't tell anymore), gasping for the breath it seems he hasn't fully drawn in ages, and the tatters of a long, a fucking long, nightmare are still clinging to him.
He died, right? Did something stupid and died, again, and oh god, are they all okay? He gropes around for the Hitomi he knows will be there, clutches it in his hand. And stops.
He knows the signs of shock well enough to know they're all over him. Knows his stomach is trying to turn itself inside-out with hunger, and that sparkles that aren't actually there are dancing at the periphery of his vision because of that, because of the exhaustion that's so far past mere tiredness that it's become a kind of giddiness, a floaty feeling that spaces him out for... seconds, minutes, an hour? He's not sure.
He can still hear the voices, saying awful things that were true, and maybe it'd be better if no one knew he was back.
Except they will know, damn the Hitomi. Which shows him, as if it's just been waiting to, Mello finding him.
Matt didn't know what happened to his body.
And Marco, god, Marco too. Not fallen in their battle, but that's very cold comfort. Matt still feels sure he would've been fine, somehow, if he hadn't been saddled with the shittiest dragon ever earlier.
He has to say something now, if only to make sure everyone else made it (made it back), but he can't bear to show his face just yet, and he's dizzy with fatigue, and the first thing in his head spills out of his mouth.]
I'm so sorry!