Week 34 | Day 3 [Dream // Update]
This dream lacks clarity. It’s too bright in some places… and too dark in others. The lighting is unnatural, as if filtered through strange lenses, twisting and distorting the view.
But he doesn't see Elliot's death. He only sees the corpse that remains. He's questioned, but by then, he's too far gone. Elliot's dead. He doesn't exist anymore.
And everyone suddenly feels like an enemy. They don't understand him. They didn't save Elliot. He has a million reasons to doubt, and they continue to pile up, the feelings in his chest strong and clouding his judgement.
But the feeling isn't simply fear or anger, though he lashes out without warning at the people who persist with their questions. It's nothing short of insanity. His entire world has been turned upside down, and he's not sure how to handle it. So he seems to be reaching blindly.
And then there's Vincent. Vincent, who he'd always had mixed feelings about... Vincent who he had once feared... and Vincent is there to tell him Elliot's last words. It makes the hole in his chest bigger, and yet, there's a connection he feels. Vincent...
He goes with him, like a puppy might brokenly follow its master.
But that's not how it will go. Vincent asks for his help. Asks for his guidance.
Vincent is his servant. And Leo agrees to it, because even beyond the madness, he can understand Vincent's feelings... he understands Vincent's goal. And... he longs for someone who might understand his feelings now, even though they are so completely fragmented and scattered.
But he gets something else, not just a servant. Jabberwocky... A powerful Chain like he has never had... he obtains it. Because it's his right.
Then... they go to Oz. Oz.
Oz was supposed to help Elliot. They were supposed to be good friends.
But the conversation is a blur. And yet his feelings are all over the place. Oz's indifference is annoying. Why had he thought that he could count on Oz to understand him anyway? Leo wants to judge him... to end him right there.
And the last, blurry, distorted image he sees is Oz reaching out to him, and from him, there is a chain... A chain aiming to pierce him through.
The pain never comes. The nightmare ends a split second before the impact, with just the overwhelming fear of dying.
While he continues to repeat to himself... 'I can't die yet...' over and over in his head... 'I can't die yet...'
--
[He wakes up feeling different. It's not that so much has changed as it is, he feels like he can make a plan now. He feels like he has a way to put this all behind him. There's an odd feeling of calm that comes from simply too much. It was only a matter of time until the feelings became too much and he snapped. And that's how it is.
But he's glad. Because this dream brought attention to things he didn't know before.]
So now I understand... Now I know...
[This changes things]