(no subject)
Wow, I seriously cannot live with my parents for much longer :/ I take some comfort in knowing that after Japan, I'll be quickly back to Oxford, and then after that year, hopefully off elsewhere. This may be my last real stay at home.
My mother and I just can't live together. She just gets in such bad moods sometimes...unlike when I was younger, I don't argue back so much because it doesn't get anywhere and I end up feeling completely energy-sapped. She says some really horrible things these days and I don't enjoy sitting there and listening to it.
I always try to feel positive when I come home, but that's easy to do after a prolonged distance. Within a few days, arguments start. The worst thing is that she follows me around, making nasty comments and criticising me. It would be different if we were in in the same room during an argument, but sometimes it feels like she just has an urge to get at me. And it seems like the more I don't argue with her, the worse it gets.
Don't get me wrong, my mother isn't a horrible person, but it's so difficult to live at home after depending on myself a lot. I feel restricted and anxious a lot. She isn't always very interested in things I have to say and often, when I try to share something about me with her, she doesn't listen, or makes no effort to understand.
I'm just thinking....I'm leaving the country for a year. You may or may not see me for a long time.... I'm making an effort not to be provoked and to be more peaceful. Why can't you?
One annoying thing; we agreed not to argue. I met her conditions. My only condition was that she doesn't perform her usual routine of crashing through my door around 8.30am, and continuing to yell at me every ten minutes to wake up.
At Paul Kent up til last week, I was getting out of bed between 9-10am on the weekends (8am on weekdays) and thought this was pretty reasonable for a student when not working. I felt rested and more productive. Now I'm having difficulty getting up because someone disturbs my last bit of sleep and basically just irritates me until I get out of bed. Then I feel headachey, tired, stressed out and grumpy. Hence, non-productiveness...
I really really want to be sad to leave; I don't want to be happy to get out of this house! That is not the mood I want to be in when I get on the plane.
23 days to Japan! Did shopping on Wednesday in Liverpool, got some new clothes that have been folded ready for Japan, as well as a great new suitcase. It has four wheels, very big, expandable, comes with a 5 year guarantee and I got in on sale, £75 off!!
Today I'm going to continue sorting things. Am also going to make a start with some actual revision. I think I've done good lately with writing and reading more Japanese, but need to do some serious grammar and kanji revision.
I heard now that apparently there is more than one annual chance in Japan to take the JLPT. I'd like to make it my goal to at least try to pass level 2 when it is available around June/July. If not, fair enough, I'll try again in December when I get back to UK, but I really want to try whilst I am actively using my Japanese all the time. It would be so great to have that on my CV! But it means really giving it my all until then.
My mother and I just can't live together. She just gets in such bad moods sometimes...unlike when I was younger, I don't argue back so much because it doesn't get anywhere and I end up feeling completely energy-sapped. She says some really horrible things these days and I don't enjoy sitting there and listening to it.
I always try to feel positive when I come home, but that's easy to do after a prolonged distance. Within a few days, arguments start. The worst thing is that she follows me around, making nasty comments and criticising me. It would be different if we were in in the same room during an argument, but sometimes it feels like she just has an urge to get at me. And it seems like the more I don't argue with her, the worse it gets.
Don't get me wrong, my mother isn't a horrible person, but it's so difficult to live at home after depending on myself a lot. I feel restricted and anxious a lot. She isn't always very interested in things I have to say and often, when I try to share something about me with her, she doesn't listen, or makes no effort to understand.
I'm just thinking....I'm leaving the country for a year. You may or may not see me for a long time.... I'm making an effort not to be provoked and to be more peaceful. Why can't you?
One annoying thing; we agreed not to argue. I met her conditions. My only condition was that she doesn't perform her usual routine of crashing through my door around 8.30am, and continuing to yell at me every ten minutes to wake up.
At Paul Kent up til last week, I was getting out of bed between 9-10am on the weekends (8am on weekdays) and thought this was pretty reasonable for a student when not working. I felt rested and more productive. Now I'm having difficulty getting up because someone disturbs my last bit of sleep and basically just irritates me until I get out of bed. Then I feel headachey, tired, stressed out and grumpy. Hence, non-productiveness...
I really really want to be sad to leave; I don't want to be happy to get out of this house! That is not the mood I want to be in when I get on the plane.
23 days to Japan! Did shopping on Wednesday in Liverpool, got some new clothes that have been folded ready for Japan, as well as a great new suitcase. It has four wheels, very big, expandable, comes with a 5 year guarantee and I got in on sale, £75 off!!
Today I'm going to continue sorting things. Am also going to make a start with some actual revision. I think I've done good lately with writing and reading more Japanese, but need to do some serious grammar and kanji revision.
I heard now that apparently there is more than one annual chance in Japan to take the JLPT. I'd like to make it my goal to at least try to pass level 2 when it is available around June/July. If not, fair enough, I'll try again in December when I get back to UK, but I really want to try whilst I am actively using my Japanese all the time. It would be so great to have that on my CV! But it means really giving it my all until then.