Forever SK (06)
Edited: 2014.10.24
Previous: chap05
* * SIX * *
[ Core ]
Nakamura Kenji was haggard. He was pale, starved, and exhausted. Yet, he looked down at the quiet village below at the base of the hill and he knew he would be able to destroy it as easily as he had done the other one. These people were too trusting, too naive, and too accommodated to peace. Kenji watched a child run through the quiet street, every now and then illuminated by a torch along the way, and he remembered the screams of the children who had died in that fire.
"I can kill you," Kenji murmured, haunted by his own power and sickened. If he wanted to, he could take the life from that small being.
But he turned away because he had something else to do. He had to go to the Palace. As Kenji walked from the outskirts of the village, his hunched form burdened by the acts of childhood dreams and ambitions faded into the dark plains.
[ Earth ]
Fuji Tohru had been asleep when the impression of a person getting into bed roused him. He knew who it was.
"Mine?" Tohru whispered as the singer dived under the covers next to him.
"Hm?" she sounded, snuggling against him.
The musician automatically wrapped an arm around her. "Mine," Tohru started again, "Why are you in so late?"
"Mm... Jun...-kun was on a late show..." she mumbled, half sleepy.
"You could've recorded and watched it later. We have an early start tomorrow," he slightly reprimanded.
"It's Jun," Mine breathed, as if that were reason enough.
Tohru knew there was no arguing against her logic. Yet, as he closed his eyes and his arms tightened around his girlfriend, his heart chipped a little more.
He did not feel bad about meeting Kazunari that afternoon.
SATOSHI:
The idea began to form one day.
It was hope in the darkness.
It was a bad idea, yet I couldn't let it go.
Each time I thought about it, the want to go through with it grew stronger.
In the end, I followed my selfish desires.
In the end, Kazunari is here with me.
[ Earth ]
Kazunari was tired, yet his mind would not allow him peace. In his unconsciousness, he sought for his brother worlds away. He found a shadow stir in the darkness.
"Satoshi?" he called out.
"It's you," his brother's voice echoed back.
Then Jun woke him.
He grew frustrated and instinctively glared at the person who was responsible. They met eyes for a few seconds then silence came between them. He did not expect to be suddenly overwhelmed. Soft lips were pressed against his and the sensations they brought took over. Kazunari found himself pushing towards those feelings and drinking them in, accepting the bittersweet taste of alcohol, anger, and hidden desires. His heart fluttered and his mind tried to grasp at what it told him. But in a matter of three seconds, before he could understand, it all vanished to be replaced by horror.
Kazunari's hands came between them and he pushed the other man away. He blinked in wakefulness and gaped at Jun. The unsteady Idol stumbled, trying to process what he had done, and the Prince knew he should've been mad. He should've used that moment to yell, to tantrum, or even hit the man. But instead a rush of shame at what he couldn't deny engulfed him, and along with it came a handful of questions.
He wondered, as he always did, why Jun hated him so much.
"K-kazu... nari..." Jun tried to start, trying to piece his thoughts together.
Those stuttering words were the force that drove Kazunari into action. He clenched his hand into a fist and swung. Jun happened to teeter at that very moment, causing the smaller man to miss and fall forward. Upon balancing, Jun latched on to Kazunari in front of him.
"Let me go," the Prince growled, struggling, but Jun shook his head.
The Idol started again, "K-kazunari."
"Let me go!"
"Why do you hate me?"
It was the same question Kazunari wanted answered, but when faced with it he did not know what to say.
[ Core ]
Sho was lonely. It was not like he'd never traveled alone before, but at those times there had been tourists and shopkeepers to talk to. The Land around him now was barren. He missed Masaki.
Sho tried to sleep, but despite how exhausted he felt, he could not. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the Caretaker. The happy image would be replaced by the assistant and Sho would open his eyes again.
So he helplessly curled next to a few dead bushes and blinked into the darkness.
It was only a few minutes later when he stood up and went on his way again.
Trekking through the silence and darkness, trying to find his way to Kenji who had caused them to come in the first place, he inadvertently remembered the first time a man touched him.
It was immediately after he came of age and a year after Storm's debut. At that time, Storm's wave of popularity had begun to ease along with their freshness. Jun, yet to be the Jun Sho knew today, had withdrawn into himself. Sho thought it possible when his manager brought him to the agency alone that the higher-ups would disband the duo. He did not expect to be left alone with the producer of their next album.
The experience was not traumatic. It was a little frightening, but more confusing. It changed Sho's perspective.
Sitting next to him, the producer asked innocent questions.
"Would you like to write your own raps?"
"What do you want for a promotion video?"
All the while, he ran one hand down the side of Sho in a soft caress.
Sho never forgot it. He was inexperienced but a young man and he did not understand why he had felt trapped by this other person he did not want. He hid this secret from Jun because he did not know if the younger boy would understand either. When Kenji paid extra attention to Sho and took advantage of him in his apartment, almost ten years later, the Idol realized this was not what he desired after all. But what did he want?
Because when he thought of Masaki, the feelings were similar yet different. And then, Sho did not wish to know the difference. He was afraid and he believed it was better to keep the boundary between himself and the Caretaker divided.
"When I find Nakamura, we will leave," he muttered with wavering determination. Because leaving was better than acknowledging the growing numbness in him and having Masaki hate him anyway.
A few miles back and oblivious to Sho's thoughts, the following Masaki was stopped by the Mage of Steel and the Holder of Heat and Wrath.
"Oh, Caretaker!" the Holder called out. "You're following this path, too?"
"I'm looking for a man," Masaki answered.
"The intruder, right?" Heat and Wrath said.
The Caretaker frowned. "No. I mean that I'm looking for Sho."
"Is that what you call the intruder?" Heat and Wrath asked.
Masaki shook his head. "No! Sho is not the intruder!"
The Mage of Steel ignored the squabble and changed the question. "Have you tried to get in touch with the Guardian, Caretaker?"
Masaki continued to frown as he turned from the Holder to the other Mage. "No," he answered. "I'm not too sure. He hasn't contacted me." Since the time in the fields, Masaki mentally added. But he was not going to tell the men what their Guardian had voiced.
"Then we have the intruder taken care of," Steel stated. "Air and Breath is not far off either. You go to the Blue Lake, Caretaker. Check on the Guardian."
"But!" Masaki started. There was Sho.
"We need His Essence," Steel emphasized upon seeing his hesitation, while the Holder supported him with a nod. "He will be the judge of this intruder's fate. The Land and Core needs its Guardian."
And Masaki was the Caretaker. The Guardian was his priority. But there was still Sho.
Under the two men's stares, Masaki grew conflicted. For the first time, he did not rush to Satoshi's side. For the first time, Masaki had someone other than the twins to worry about. He knew that Sho needed him unlike the other two.
He finally decided. "I'm not going," he whispered.
Both Steel and the Holder stared at him, the latter growing concerned. "Caretaker," he started, "You have to. You're the only one."
"I'm not going," Masaki repeated. He saw disappointment cross the expressions of his comrades and he guessed he had just confirmed their beliefs about his lack of qualifications.
Heat and Wrath stepped up to support his senior. "Caretaker, you don't understand what you're saying."
"I do," Masaki interrupted. "I'm not going to the Guardian and I'm going to follow Sho."
Because Steel knew arguing against his decision was pointless, he pulled the Holder back and glared at the Caretaker. "I hope you know what you're doing, Caretaker, because if you endanger Core not even the Mage of Creation and the Prince can defend you."
Holding back their frustrations, they proceeded down the route Masaki had been walking, angry enough to not look back.
Even with his decision unshakable, Masaki grew ashamed.
At the same time that he followed with his head bowed, Kenji finally reached the Palace walls. Unsurprisingly, there were no humans in sight. No soldiers patrolling the perimeters. No watch guards from the towers. Kenji took it all in with his gaunt eyes.
He did not want to rule such a dead place, but he still wanted to be king. It'd be so easy to take over this place. Or not. He did not know what he wanted any longer. But he had come this far and he would finish what he started.
Kenji slumped against the stone gates and closed his tired eyes. He was finally here, he would take a small rest and decide what to do afterwards.
It was a mistake. Kenji dreamed of fire, cries, and death. He could not break away from the nightmare that made him writhe in his sleep.
Sho's legs chose that moment when he could have taken advantage of Kenji's temporary halt to give out.
He fell in a heap on the slope of the dirt hill, deprived of strength much like the mound was deprived of green and life. He heaved for breath, feeling his limps grow heavy from overuse. It had only been several hours since he departed from the village, yet because he could not follow time, Sho felt like he had been walking alone for days. He wondered if he had wandered off track somehow. There was no way to tell.
It was dark all around but the sky above him was liquid black. There were the stars he had seen when he had first arrived. Again there was no moon. Specifically of the scattered stars four bright ones stood out, each like a point of the cardinal directions, and Sho was heading towards the center away from each point. Or so he thought it as that.
But he could not be sure, much like how he could not be sure that at this moment, he was not alone in the universe.
He hated this world.
(( It's not true. ))
"Why are you still talking to me?" Sho muttered bitterly.
(( You're confused about what you want. ))
"You don't know," Sho threw back at him, threw at the dark sky. "You know nothing about me. What do you want by speaking all of a sudden?"
(( Nothing. I selfishly took the only thing I wanted years ago. I will never be forgiven for it. ))
"Just like how Masaki will never forgive me," Sho replied.
(( But you do not know Masaki. ))
The Idol sunk into a pool of shadows at the truth, blacker than his surroundings or even the sky. He did not know Masaki. And in that moment that he stung with the comment, he only knew that he wished he did.
"Nakamura-san and I will forget about this world," he muttered into the nothingness. That was the safest path for him.
The Guardian did not respond, gone again, and Sho was alone like before.
He could not distract himself by pushing on. His limbs refused to move. They were shaken, tired, and rebellious. Depleted of energy, Sho decided to stay. His breath evened as he waited and he tried to hold his negative thoughts back.
As the silence took over, at long last, Sho was able to sleep. The nightmares and Kenji did not disturb him this time.
He was unsure of how he long stayed unconscious.
It seemed like only a few minutes later when he was shaken awake. The Idol felt the sores in his body before he came into full awareness, and he groaned. He was still on the slope of the hill. The solid ground at his back worsened the ache in his bones.
"I don't think you're supposed to be here," a feminine voice said above him to his left, and Sho cracked open his eyes to see the speaker kneeling beside him. It was a woman.
He immediately sat up and was on the verge of tumbling down the hill, but the woman stopped his fall with a hand.
She continued, "You're the one with Masaki."
Sho looked passed her to the male dressed in all white standing behind her. He was man Sho had met earlier: the Mage of Air and Breath.
"We should take him along," the woman said to her partner.
"He'll be excessive baggage. He'll only slow us down," Air and Breath replied.
Sho sucked in a breath and kept silent. Being discussed and called useless embarrassed him.
Though the Mage of Creation did not defend him, she frowned, unhappy with her partner's answer. "We can't leave an Outlander like this. Especially that he's under Masaki's care."
Air and Breath traced the scar on his face. "What is the Caretaker doing, letting his charge wander around like this?"
Sho continued to listen in silence, allowing the two to decide his fate. It was as if he had lost his ability to make choices by running into the two. They reminded him of Masaki. He personally thought it was best that they leave him be. He was afraid to find out what the frigid man in white would do if he knew Sho had something to do with Kenji. But he also knew that traveling with the two would make his journey easier. At least he would be sure that he was traveling in the correct direction.
Then the Mage of Creation proposed an idea. "If he lags, I can create a creature to carry him."
"That's a waste of your energy," Air and Breath responded. But he did not stop Creation from helping Sho to his feet.
Sho stared into the kind eyes of the Mage of Creation and he felt a little better. She was like Masaki, the gentle part of him anyway. "T-thank you," he said. He could not muster the courage to tell her that he was already tired and could no longer walk to begin with. The thought of riding some beast did not appeal to him.
She eventually understood his incapability without him having to say. They helped him up the rest of the hill, but Sho kept slipping.
Avoiding Air and Breath's impatient cold glare, Sho watched the Mage of Creation transform a clod of dirt into a moving creature with two ugly heads and three tails. She stretched the furry ball until the beast grew taller than Sho and wider. The ghastly animal roared into existence as Creation finished and gave it life.
Sho fell back in fear, awe, and disbelief. Magic and its capabilities still shocked him and he turned a little pale when faced with such a thing.
Ignoring the Idol's reaction, Creation touched the creature's hairy head. It complied with her wishes, lowering its three tails so that Sho could climb on.
The Idol shook his head vehemently. There was no way he would get on that thing.
"It won't hurt you," Creation assured him, but Sho did not believe her.
Unfortunately, Air and Breath had enough with waiting. A single wave of his his hand had Sho off his feet in an instant and zipping through the air. The Idol screamed and in the next second was seated on the furry back without much choice (as he had already guessed would happen).
"Don't worry," Creation said to the frozen Sho sitting stiffly on the creature as it roared again, throwing its hairy head around. "Masaki was able to tame this one. I'm sure you can too."
Sho looked down at her, asking through clenched teeth, "H-have anyone else ever succeeded?"
"No," she simply answered.
The trio continued towards the Palace, the two mages ignoring Sho's fear.
Along the way, he gradually stopped screaming at every jump of the creature. He was, in truth, actually glad to have something else to focus on.
But only until he overheard the Mage of Creation ask her partner, "Where do you think Masaki is?"
Air and Breath answered, "I wouldn't know, but he's not here. He failed his duties."
That one sentence pierced Sho in a way that it shouldn't.
[ Earth ]
Both slept on the carpeted floor, Kazunari resting only a few centimeters away from Jun. One had fallen asleep on the spot and the other had chosen to sleep there. The ground beneath them was solid and uncomfortable, but in their dreamless rest they did not notice.
When the sun rose that morning, the Idol woke first.
Along with consciousness came a headache from his hangover. He groaned and hefted himself into an upright position clutching his head. Through squinted eyes, he realized where he was and who lay next to him on the ground.
"Shit," Jun cursed, nausea, confusion, and guilt mixing together to sicken him. He gripped the bedpost and pushed onto his feet. In the minutes that followed and in the process of searching for painkillers, he made so much noise that Kazunari woke.
To avoid any awkwardness, the Prince continued to lie on the floor and feigned sleep as the Idol washed and dressed for work.
Kazunari expected to be left in his position until Jun left. He strained his ears to hear the latter's every move, feeling tired but too aware of the other's presence to sleep. He evened his breath and listened to the sounds of Jun preparing to depart, waiting to be left alone as always. But all of a sudden, hands were shoved underneath him and he was lifted into air. Kazunari would have panicked except that the next moment he was held tightly in Jun's arms, stable. His pulse raced and he held his breath as he was placed on the bed as gently as possible.
The covers were thrown over him, soft fingers ran through his hair in a caress, and then footsteps led away before the sounds of the door closing signaled to Kazunari that Jun had finally left.
Silence ensued.
His eyes flew open to confront the empty room. Alarmed, shocked, overwhelmed, Kazunari could hear nothing except for the pounding of his pulse in his ears.
*
When noon came, Kazunari resolved to ignore his feelings and to proceed with the rest of his day. He stepped out of the hotel room and waited until a worker passed in the hall before asking directions to where Tohru had planned their meeting. Some twenty minutes later, he arrived outside La Vie on the first floor.
By the entrance, Kazunari paused.
He had not spoken to Jun about coming. He could not after what had happened. In that second, he wondered if continuing was the wise thing to do, even after having made his mind.
That early morning, earlier than before they had fallen asleep, replayed in Kazunari's head as if it had only occurred minutes ago.
"Why do you hate me?" Jun had asked.
At that time, Kazunari had paused when confronted with Jun's question. They stared at each other, one dazed and the other shaken. Just as Kazunari felt something boil in his stomach, felt an uncontrollable truth about to spill, the Idol slumped against him.
In front of La Vie, as he thought back to the morning he continued to stall.
He remembered the smell of Jun who had fallen on him. The Idol had been so close. Too close. Kazunari's raw feelings had been embarrassing, and the only reason he hadn't pushed Jun away was because the bigger man had been too heavy. Falling asleep, Jun's evened breathing permeated the silent room and Kazunari had held his own breath.
Inside the cafe, a lone man caught sight of him by the entrance and Kazunari saw him stand, saw him slowly approach, and he knew this must have been the man who invited him. The person didn't look bad or malicious at all. But the employee hesitation had warned Kazunari. And Kazunari had not consulted Jun.
Tohru's eyes brightened, observing the smaller, vulnerable looking male whose eyes glazed over and stared passed his ear. He knew he could use this person, but he was unaware that Kazunari faltered.
Because that early morning, Kazunari had leaned down to Jun lying near him. His face drew closer to the face underneath until his nose touched Jun's skin. He refrained from pressing his lips to the Idol's cheek and thought, I wish I could hate you.
Because Jun had been gentle and kind that morning.
Tohru was six meters away from Kazunari when the Prince blinked twice.
In the second that followed, the smaller man changed his mind. He realized he did not want this, did not want to do more than he could handle, and turned his back to the approaching Tohru. He did not want to involve himself in anything else.
The musician instantly grew anxious. He rushed forward and hissed, "Hey!"
Kazunari ignored him, limping along to the staircase.
"Hey!" Tohru shouted, no longer caring to be discreet. He reached the smaller man and ran in front, effectively cutting the route to the stairs. "You hate Matsumoto Jun!" he declared, jumping straight to the heart of the matter.
Taken back by the shout and Tohru's brashness, Kazunari frowned wondering if this person was telepathic like Satoshi.
Tohru breathed deeply, telling himself to calm down and to take it easy. He did not want to spill all to this person. "I really need to speak to you."
The Prince would've ignored him and continued on except that he wasn't quite deft at the moment due to his healing injuries. So he snapped his fingers and asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
But that was precisely the reason why Tohru wanted to use Kazunari. Matsumoto's cousin did not know of Fuji Tohru's existence as of yet. He probably had no idea that Tohru and Jun were rivals in the industry despite being the relative of one of them involved. No one knew except for the ones working behind the scenes and speculators.
"I want to work with you," Tohru answered, lowering his voice and cautiously glancing around. "I can feel that we are the same. We can help each other."
Kazunari was not fooled, but he was also not one to back down so easily. This person appeared to know something that he did not, something that may be useful to him. His mind whirled and his already made decision wavered again.
Kazunari changed it to meet his purposes. He ordered, "Tell me more."
Tohru was only happy to comply.
"I need you to relay some information about Matsumoto's schedule," he said.
The Prince raised an eyebrow. "And what will you do with that information?" In truth, he had no idea what schedule Tohru meant.
Unaware of the prince's lack of knowledge, Tohru's own mind spewed out all the possibilities of what he could do. Nothing suited the Idol better than humiliation on screen. He wanted to see the cool facade of the Kaze member fall away. Mine would realize who she had fallen in love with. Mine would laugh at Jun and forget him.
In answer to Kazunari’s question, Tohru sighed. "Get the information for me and I will tell you what we will do with it." He would make sure Storm and his own band met.
Across the city and oblivious of their connection, Jun watched his manager drive his car of which he had left at the bar last night into the lot of the agency. His manager parked and turned off the engine before climbing out of the driver's seat to face the talent under her charge.
"We were talking about Sakurai Sho," she said as she tossed Jun his keys. "Did you contact him yet? He can still write a few songs if he can't make television appearances."
Jun wanted to tell her to let the man have his break (except that he wasn't actually on one) but he knew that in this business it was selfish to say such a thing. Even he knew that to take a leave longer than a few months was fatal in such a fast paced industry where consumers easily grew disinterested. So he answered, "I haven't contacted him. I'll try."
His reply was insufficient, but his manager allowed his comment to slide, trusting him to keep his word. Instead, she asked, "How is your cousin's health?"
"About that," Jun started, realizing the hypocrisy of what he was going to say, "I need a break in my schedule soon."
His manager silenced as they entered through the agency doors and into the front lobby, as if she was surprised by his question and that he had spoken something unimaginable. She contemplated.
The guards and security at the front allowed them through and into the hall beyond. When they were alone again, Jun's manager immediately replied, "Your schedule is hectic. You're in the midst of promoting your movie."
"But I'm not even an important character," Jun retorted. "The press conference can be held without me."
His manager stopped, causing him to stop also. She narrowed her eyes at Jun in disapproval. "I'm looking out for you, Matsujun. Storm's activities have come to a halt. Aside from making sure that your duo is not forgotten, this is the perfect time for you to pursue solo opportunities. What you do will impact yours and Sakurai's future."
As Jun listened to her, he understood. Their manager was reasonable, that was why she was dependable. But this time, Kazunari was involved. He had to get Kazunari to safety no matter what. The detective's warning remained in his memory.
"I won't disappear like Sakurai-kun," Jun persuaded. "At the least, give me one week." Because he and Kazunari would surely handle everything in that time. Sho would also return by then if everything was solved.
His manager frowned. "I can get you one week off, but not soon. Not until next week at the earliest. You will be causing a lot of trouble to the people who will have to adjust their schedule. You will apologize yourself, Matsumoto."
"I know. Thank you," Jun added, humbly bowing his head to the woman who had always taken care of him and listened to his selfish wishes.
He turned away from his manager, walking down the hall with her following, and refrained from touching his tingling lips. The memory was faint and almost beyond discernible, but Jun had an inkling of what had transpired that morning, of what he had done.
He suddenly had an urge to see Kazunari and wanted to hurry back to the hotel, unaware that at that very moment Tohru and Kazunari were planning their next meeting.
[ Core ]
When Sho woke again, the woman was beside him.
"Had a good rest?" she asked him.
Shaking the grogginess from his eyes, he stretched and nodded. His rump hurt from sitting so long on the hard creature's back.
Noticing his wince, the Mage of Creation said, "You can get down now. I'm actually tired from keeping him alive."
"Oh, sorry," Sho apologized. He didn't think it would still cost the woman energy to keep the beasts in form and moving. He slid off the back of the animal and watched as it growled and dissolved, the original dirt clod scattering into dirt ashes.
The woman sighed in relief and fell in step beside him. She graced Sho with a smile. It somehow reminded him of Masaki, as most of her actions did.
The Idol shied away, wishing he had not made the comparison, and looked around. He saw that the Mage of Air and Breath were a few steps ahead of them. Assured that they were a distance away from the menacing man, Sho stretched his arms and then rubbed his face. A canteen was shoved in front of him.
"Drink," Creation ordered, and Sho gladly did.
She observed him as he poured a few drops over himself. "What really happened to Masaki?" she started. "Did he leave you?"
Sho immediately paused. He could not run away from the topic of the Caretaker after all.
"We were separated by an accident," he lied.
"An accident!" Creation repeated and Air and Breath turned to give them one long look. Sho gulped. The shadows around the Mage did not help, making him appear more intimidating.
But Creation ignored her brethren and pestered Sho, "What happened?"
However, Sho could not create a believable lie on the spot and changed the subject. He remembered the gossip of the village woman and said, "A lot of people were disappointed when Masaki was made the Caretaker. Were you disappointed in him, too?"
She did not expect this question and hesitated in answering. "You know a lot."
Not more than you, Sho thought, wishing her statement was true.
"Masaki was a hard worker," Creation started. "He was an orphan, but possessed the powers of Nature and Life. It was a pity that his training started so late because of that, almost one hundred years later. But after he moved into the Palace, he worked hard to excel and additionally took lessons in Caretaking. He surprised most of us. But beside the Prince, who was a genius, Masaki paled in comparison. The people wanted someone as brilliant as the Prince to take care of our Guardian. They disliked Masaki for taking that position away.
"In answer to your question though, no, I was not disappointed when he was appointed Caretaker. I was pleased that a Mage could take on two roles. Not many in our history have done so, and Core have existed far longer than any other world."
Sho frowned, one of the things she had said catching his attention. "How...how old are you?" hoping she did not catch offense at his blunt question.
"One thousand years and a few, much older than our current Guardian. I knew our last Guardian," she proudly answered.
One thousand years. That number rang in Sho's ears and stopped him in his tracks. "H-how old is Masaki?" he whispered, almost couldn't voice.
"Almost eight hundred."
Sho held his breath. He was not even a seventh of that. When Masaki had said their worlds were parallel, he had thought Masaki and he was similar in some aspect. He was wrong. The distance between then was far greater than he had expected.
[ the Blue Lake ]
The glassy surface of the lake was smooth, undisturbed. But slow ripples began to form. The dark shadows on the reflection wrinkled and became indiscernible. The ripples grew bigger and stronger until the water tipped over the basin. The center of the lake caved into a whirlpool.
A translucent liquid form emerged.
At the same time, Kenji successfully climbed over the Palace wall and landed on the opposite side.
* *
Next: chap07
a/n: unbetaed so any criticism for this chapter is welcomed
Midassessments are just over, but still swamped with schoolwork as some on my flist knows. *unenthused* Yay.
Next month aiming to put FSS out.
Will make any necessary edits in future.