The Road Less Traveled
Authors: Vanderly and Jin
Pairing: JeTi, YoonYul
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Jessica, Yoona, Tiffany, and Yuri are on a road trip.
Jinny’s note: I promise you we’re not on drugs.
Vanderly’s note: It’s a serious story. Ngl.
“CALIFORNIA GIRLS WE’RE UNDENIABLE! DAISY DUKES, BIKINIS ON TOP!”
“Oh my god, Tiffany, shut the fuck up.”
Tiffany and her companion, Yuri, were rolling down the highway in their swagged out, glittery pink eighteen wheeler truck. Tiffany was reliving her teenage dream of being a pop sensation while Yuri was driving. Needless to say, Yuri was tired of Tiffany. From time to time, she would glance over at Tiffany and wonder why she became friends with Tiffany Hwang. At times, she would catch herself mumbling to no one.
“It’s okay. Yuri, you can do it! Yuri is strong and wonderful. Yuri can handle a few more hours of Tiffany. Yuri is a unicorn.”
Tiffany’s ears perked up at the word “unicorn”. Anything cute, cuddly, magical, pink, or all of the above was hers.
“ANYTHING. PINK. MINE.”
Yuri sighed, “Are you high? We’ve only been in this truck for a day.”
“I don’t like you right now.”
“The feeling is mutual. Now shut the fuck up.”
Tiffany huffed and turned her music up even louder. Since Yuri was pissing her off, Tiffany ended up looking outside the window, gazing upon the blue skies. She looked in the rearview mirror to check herself out when something caught her eye.
“YAH KWON YURI! FOUR O’CLOCK!”
“WHAT I CAN’T HEAR YOU! THE MUSIC IS TOO DAMN LOUD!”
“I’M NOT GOING TO TURN IT DOWN!”
Eventually, Yuri gave up. She continued to mumble to herself, telling herself that murder did not look good on a new job application and that she was too pretty to be on Orange Is the New Black. Instead, Yuri settled for a punch on Tiffany’s head. As she punched Tiffany, she noticed a goddess who was driving right next to her. Time slowed down. Yuri became so mesmerized by the hair that was flowing in the wind.
“Dayummm, Tiffany! Three o’clock!”
“I told you, stupid--Oh my god look at the other girl.”
Time slowed down for Tiffany as well. Tiffany met the girl’s gaze. It was like a shot to her heart.
“I think I’m in love.”
Yuri looked over at the girl and she felt chills run down her spine.
“Fuck, she looks hella mad.”
“I don’t care, she’s perfect for me,” Tiffany said dreamily.
-
Meanwhile in the other truck, Coldplay was quietly flowing through the air as the brunette driver was humming along. In the other seat, a blonde was sleeping soundly. That is until they started to approach a hideous, pink truck blasting, literally, blasting Katy Perry.
“Yoona…” the girl mumbled, “Turn down the music.”
“It’s not us, Jessica.”
Jessica’s eyes slowly opened into slits, “What do you mean it’s not us?”
“Look.”
Jessica’s eyes followed Yoona’s fingers. The source of the obnoxiousness was right there in front of her eyes. She hated it instantly.
“Kill ‘em.”
“We can’t, we have a deadline, remember?”
“I don’t care. Go kill them.”
Yoona sighed as she just sped up, hoping to pass the pink truck and pacify her agitated friend.
“You can sleep for a bit, but you’re gonna be driving next. No complaining. I’m hungry. We’re going to stop at McDonalds.”
Jessica huffed in her seat but complied. She crossed her arms and pouted like a big baby. She didn’t forget to give a death glare at the other truck as they passed by. She was disgusted by the red haired girl sending her a kiss. She scoffed and looked away, hoping that she didn’t have a nightmare about that pink monster.
If she were to run into those two buffoons again, she will definitely kill them.
-
“Yuri, speed up! We have to keep pace with them. My dream girl is in there and she is waiting for me. I must come to her!”
“I’m seriously going to kill you if you don’t shut up.”
“Please, speed up! I know you have a thing with the other one.”
“Okay, fine.”
Yuri sped up, and tried to catch up with the other girls. Somehow, it became a race. The simple truck sped up each time they approached while the pink truck kept pace. Without noticing, both trucks ended up passing by a motorcycle with three policewomen. Sirens went off, the only person who noticed was Jessica who was once again awakened from her precious sleep.
“Pull over, cops are chasing us.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Yoona slowed down the truck. The policewomen eventually caught up and pulled over to Yoona’s side. Yuri noticed the simple truck was slowing down, the love of her life was getting pulled over! She couldn’t let this happen. So she pulled over as well, without knowing that she was also the culprit.
Looking down, Yoona noticed the three women - two tall ones and a short one, all wearing sunglasses. The short one had been driving the motorcycle, while her co-workers sat in sidecars, one on each side.
“Choi, go deal with these guys. Seo and I will go deal with the bedazzled truck.”
-
Officer Choi Sooyoung approached Yoona and Jessica’s truck.
“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.”
Yoona and Jessica compiled. They walked up to the cop and tried to explain the situation.
“Officer…” Yoona glanced down at the nametag, “...Choi, you don’t understand. Those two girls in the other truck kept chasing us. We had to speed to ensure our safety.”
Jessica added, “Do you believe the situation?”
“Yeah.”
Officer Choi was sympathetic to the two truck drivers. Still rules were rules and she had to give them a ticket for speeding. However, something in the truck drew her attention. She asked to inspect the truck.
“It’s protocol.”
True to her instinct, she found a box of donuts. She confiscated them, stating it was evidence that it needed to be inspected.
“Officer Choi, if you really wanted the donuts, why didn’t you say so?”
Yoona glared at Jessica, hoping it would send a telepathic message that those donuts belonged to her. Only her. Jessica returned the glare, signaling to Yoona that it was the only way to get the tall officer to leave. Yoona only sighed in response.
“Well, you can have them. On one condition.”
Too busy staring at the donuts, Officer Choi eagerly nodded.
“You let us off scotch free.”
“Deal! It’s a deal! Now gimme!!” She hungrily grabbed for the donuts, and could not stop staring at them with eyes of happiness.
Jessica winked as she handed the box to the policewoman. “Better keep this a secret.”
-
Meanwhile at the other truck, things were a little bit different.
“Names,” Officer Kim Hyoyeon commanded.
“Yuri Kwon,” Tiffany stated confidently.
“Yu-” Yuri glared at Tiffany, “You bitch! You can’t do this to me!”
“What are you talking about, Tiffany?”
“Oh my-I hate you,” Yuri muttered before turning to the officers, “My name is Tiffany.”
Officer Seo Juhyun looked sternly at them, “Tiffany what?”
“Tiffany...Hwang.”
Never had Yuri felt so small. Even pretending to be Tiffany was disgusting. Again, she wondered how she had met this crazy girl. She was beginning to regret it.
“Ms. Hwang and Ms. Kwon, do you ladies know why we pulled you over…”
As Officer Seo was speaking, neither of the girls paid one ounce of attention. They were far too distracted by the duo twenty-five feet ahead of them.
Tiffany slowly raked her eyes down the blonde’s body, admiring the choice in fashion from the leopard to the button down to the oxford shoes, even her little tushie. She wondered where has this girl been all her life.
Meanwhile, Yuri was gazing at the other girl, her goddess. She sighed at the flowing brown locks cascading down the long, slender back. She was PER-FECT.
Yuri and Tiffany turned to look at each other, and wiggled their eyebrows. A sign they used to show that they were hunting...for women. Yuri then realized why she was friends with Tiffany in the first place. Tiffany was the only other person that was as greasy as herself in the art of courtship.
While they were wiggling eyebrows, they had failed to notice the simple truck leaving them behind.
“Ms. Hwang, Ms. Kwon, are you listening?” Officer Kim asked.
“...what? Of course...of course. Continue on,” Tiffany and Yuri said simultaneously.
“As I was saying, citizens must abide by the law as it is the very foundation of our glorious country and without law society cannot function…” continued Officer Seo as her eyes lit with the fiery passion of justice.
“Hey guys! Look, I have donuts!”
The four ladies looked over at the muffled voice. Officer Choi was walking over with a box in one hand and a half eaten donut in the other. Officer Seo and Officer Kim gaped at the sight of their comrade and shook their heads in displeasure. Yuri and Tiffany were also displeased but not at the officer but at the missing eye candy.
“Oh shit, we gotta go! Smell ya later officers!”
Tiffany pulled Yuri into the truck, and badgered Yuri to start up the engine so they could catch up to their loves.
“Dammit Sooyoung! Now is not the time for your damn donuts!” Officer Kim screamed in anger.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! There is always a time for donuts, Hyoyeon! Donuts are life.”
“Unni, why did you even become a policewoman?”
“Because, Seohyun, I watched TV a lot and noticed that the cops eat a lot of donuts and I thought, ‘Wow that could be me.’” Sooyoung said with her donut in the air, “It was my calling!”
“Look at what you’ve done, you idiot. We lost four criminals! I would kill-” Hyoyeon was interrupted by Seohyun.
“Violence is not the answer, unni.”
“You know what is?”
“What, Sooyoung unni?”
Sooyoung took a long pause to finish chewing before answering to a curious Seohyun and a pissed off Hyoyeon.
“Donuts.”
-
Sometime later at a McDonalds…
Yoona groaned, “I’m so hungry. Aren’t you? Why did we give away our donuts.”
“No,” Jessica deadpanned, “I’m sleepy. Get your Big Mac so we can continue driving.”
“You sure you don’t want anything?” Yoona asked, “I think you should since you’ll be driving.”
As Jessica and Yoona were heading into the McDonalds, they failed to notice the two women following them. Jessica wondered if getting food here was worth it, or if waiting to go to an established five (maybe four) star restaurant was worth the wait. She didn’t want grease to appear on her shirt. The struggle became real.
“What should I do, Yoong?”
“What do you mean?”
“Should I just wait until we stop by somewhere with better choices?”
Yoona sighed, “It doesn’t matter. Whatever suits your tastes. But I want McDonalds, and you’re going to wait in line with me.”
Pushing the doors open, the sounds of beepers and people screaming became the only thing the women could hear. It was packed.
“I hate you. I hate you so much right now. Why does America have to be so fat.”
“Do I look fat to you?” Yoona paused, “No, right? So be quiet and patient while I get my Big Macs.”
Behind them, Yuri and Tiffany were whispering pick-up lines to each other--deciding on which ones were effective and not creepy whatsoever.
“What do you think about the angel pick-up line?”
Tiffany scratched her chin.
“Just go with the other one, since we’re at a McDonalds.”
“Okay, which one are you using?”
Just then a Drake song came on in the background. Tiffany started to bob her head and sing along.
“I’ve got my eyes on you. You’re everything that I need. I want your hot love and emotions endlessly.”
The lightbulb in Tiffany’s head lit up.
“I’ll use the eyes one!”
“Sounds gucci. Grease on three. One, two, three!”
The two truckers fist bumped. The plan was in motion.
-
Jessica and Yoona were waiting in line patiently waiting to order Yoona’s Big Macs when Jessica sensed a disturbance in the force. She turned her head and there in front of her was her greatest nightmare. Forcing a smile, Jessica threatened through clenched teeth.
“If you don’t leave me alone right now. I will kill you personally with my own bare hands.”
Tiffany giggled obnoxiously and winked.
“You just can’t keep your hands off of me, can’t ya babe?”
Jessica wanted to vomit. She turned to Yoona and tugged on her sleeve.
“Yoona, we gotta go. Grease and Greasier are here.”
Yoona shook off Jessica’s hand.
“Tolerate it for a bit. I need to get my Big Macs.”
Jessica scoffed in frustration. She was going to kill someone at this rate. She was burning a hole in the wall with her glare when Tiffany decided to crank up her lady charming skills to maximum and tapped Jessica on the shoulder.
“Hey…” Tiffany glanced at Jessica’s chest and saw the name tag plastered on the left side, “Jessica, you have something on your butt.”
Jessica’s eyes narrowed but she still glanced behind her to check. Classy women like her can never be blemished, especially not their butts.
Tiffany took this opportunity to lean in and whisper.
“My eyes.”
She finished it off another wink and a greasy smirk.
Jessica wanted to scream and slap her but she kept her composure and turned back to Yoona.
“Yoona,” her voice was strained at this point, “We. need. to. leave. now. N. O. W.”
Yoona was about to retort when someone tapped her shoulder.
Yuri had approached Yoona from behind. She had lightly tapped her on the shoulder, and then proceeded to whisper into her ear.
“Wow, look at that menu. So many choices, but I can’t choose one.”
“Please, don’t speak to me. I just want Big Macs.”
Yoona brushed off Yuri, and stepped closer to the front of the line. Yuri did not get the memo, and continued to sweet talk her goddess.
“Too bad they don’t offer what I really want.”
Glancing over her shoulder, Yoona was about to give Yuri a black eye, but she decided against it. It was against policy after all.
“But you know what’s not on the menu?”
Yoona huffed, and tugged on Jessica’s shirt.
“Jessica, please get her away.”
Jessica turned to look at her, “I can’t. This other idiot keeps talking to me and wiggling her eyebrows.”
“Hey! That’s not nice!” Tiffany yelped.
“Me-n-u,” Yuri finished off by whispering it close to Yoona’s ear. She started laughing at her own joke after.
“Get it?” She slapped her knee. “Me-n-u? Menu? Oh my god, I’m so funny.”
Yoona’s face contorted in disgust. She had lost her appetite. That never happens. Yuri was indeed a greasy hobo.
“Jessica, let’s go.”
Yoona grabbed onto Jessica’s wrist and tugged her away while Yuri was still too busy laughing at her menu pick-up line.
“Hey wait!” Tiffany yelled but got distracted by someone walking by with a strawberry smoothie.
“Oh my gosh! Pink!”
-
Officer Kim, Seo, and Choi continued patrolling the highway after their bizarre encounter with the truckers. However, their peaceful patrol was interrupted by a rumbling noise and Sooyoung’s whining.
“Ohhhh noooo, my stomach is calling to meee! Hyoooo, I’m hungrrryyy.”
“Fatass, you just ate those illegal donuts!”
“I’m hungryyyyyyyy!”
Seohyun sighed from her side of the motorcycle. Pulling out her own lunch, sweet potatoes.
“Hyoyeon unni, we should feed Sooyoung unni if she’s really that hungry.”
“Yes, listen to wise maknae. I can’t work on an empty stomach. How can I possibly catch bad guys in this condition?”
Hyoyeon scoffed.
“How can you possibly catch them…” she breathed in, “ WHEN YOU LET THEM GO!”
“Hyooooooo, I’m hunnnnnnn-guuhhhh-reeeeeee. Take me to McDonalds, pleeeassseeee.”
“Unni, an unhealthy diet can accumulate and eventually, you’ll die.”
“I’m gonna die at this rate if I don’t get anything to eat!”
Sooyoung started to wave her arms around and kick her legs, having a tantrum in her sidecar.
“Dammit, Soo, we’re gonna crash because of you. Fine, fine we’ll go to damn McDonalds.”
The cops pulled up into the parking lot. Seohyun saw the two trucks in the parking lot and was about to say something when Sooyoung grabbed both of their wrists and bolted into the fast food joint. They completely missed the two exiting girls on their way in.
-
As Jessica and Yoona were running away from McDonalds, the taller trucker’s stomach growled.
“We can’t leave. We can’t leave. I’m hungry.”
“Oh my god, we can get food later. We have to go now. What if my beautiful face breaks out from all that grease?”
Jessica tugged harder on Yoona’s hand, but she wouldn’t budge.
“Hold on, I smell something,” Yoona sniffed the air, “It’s definitely not McDonalds. It smells like potatoes.”
“McDonalds makes french fries, stupid.”
“No no no, these are steamed. Steamed sweet potatoes.”
Yoona dragged the other girl to the source of the lovely scent. She knew she was getting nearer and nearer.
“Yaaas! I found it! Do you think they’ll mind if I take it?” Yoona turned to ask Jessica.
“Probably not, since they’re out in the open. It basically says ‘Eat me’. I’m going back to the truck.”
Yoona snatched the potatoes while muttering ‘hot, hot, hot’ and followed after Jessica, sweet potatoes in tow.
__
Tiffany was staring at the pink drink when three people entered the restaurant capturing her attention.
“Shit!”
She ran up to Yuri and slapped her back causing Yuri to stop laughing.
“Ow! What was that for?”
Yuri was rubbing her back when she saw the three cops.
“Shit! Tiffany we gotta go.”
They booked it out of the restaurant as fast as they could but their plan backfired when Tiffany tripped and fell right in front of the cops.
“Hey it’s you! Yuri Kwon!”
Tiffany scampered up to her feet.
“Do I know you?” Tiffany was playing dumb, “I think you have the wrong person. I’m Tiffany Hwang. Now, that over there,” she said pointing to Yuri, “that’s Yuri Kwon.”
“Tiffany, you bitch!” Yuri screamed. “How could you sell me out? Twice!”
“You snooze you lose, suckah!” Tiffany said as she ran out the door. When she exited she saw the tall brunette trailing after the blonde who was climbing into the driver side of the simple truck. This was her chance! She could hitch a ride and win over the love of her life.
__
The cops stood a little stunned as the red haired girl ran out. They looked back over to Yuri who was still dumbfounded and appalled that Tiffany had the audacity to leave her behind.
“So, you’re Yuri Kwon? Do you know that it’s another charge to lie to an officer?”
Yuri looked at them before bolting out the door as well. The cops chased after her and saw Tiffany running over to the simple truck.
Yuri chased after Tiffany when she saw her goddess. Time slowed for Yuri as her goddess walked across the blacktop like a model, winding blowing through her hair as her slender fingers picked up a sweet potato.
Seohyun also noticed the doe eyed girl walking across. Time slowed for her as well when she noticed slender fingers holding onto her precious sweet potatoes. Her eyes flared with wrath as she changed courses.
“Come back with my sweet potatoes you thief!”
__
Yoona was casually walking over to her truck totally immersed in the delicious bliss of sweet potatoes engulfing her taste buds. She failed to notice the doors burst open twice.
She was chewing on her newly acquired snack when she felt danger - her deer senses were tingling. She turned her head and her eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights.
One of the taller cops from before was zooming right at her and it didn’t seem like she was stopping anything soon. She braced herself for the impact when suddenly another body flew in front of her, blocking the cop.
She looked up at her savior. She gasped at the sight. Her knight in shining armor was really that greasy trucker!
Yuri quickly got up and dragged Yoona to the swagged out pink truck.
“Get in! We have to leave!”
Yoona reluctantly climbed in and Yuri started the engine, leaving the parking lot in haste.
__
Meanwhile, Tiffany had snuck into the other truck unbestowed to the blonde bombshell who was resting her head on the wheel. Jessica looked up when she heard the radio turn on to a pop channel. She looked over wondering what had possessed Yoona when she gasped in horror.
“What do you think you are doing?”
“Sitting.” Tiffany replied cutely and smiled. It was completely different from her previous greasy smiles. This smile was sweet and breath-taking. There was no eyebrow wiggling involved in the slightest. Instead, Tiffany’s eyes curved up into crescents.
Jessica’s mouth gaped at the sight. She was taken aback. Never had she seen such a beautiful sight. She closed her mouth and gulped, looking away. That’s when she saw the chaos taking place outside. Two cops were in the parking lot running towards her truck as the other one was tackled by Tiffany’s friend.
“Shit,” Tiffany uttered. “Jessica start the engine.”
Jessica hesitated. What about Yoona? She looked out again and saw Yoona being towed away with the dark haired girl. She looked back at the eye smiling girl who was staring expected at her.
“Jessica! Hurry! The two other cops are coming!”
Jessica snapped out of her reverie and turned the keys all the way. She stepped on the gas and followed the swaggy out pink truck out of the parking lot.
-
As this all went down, two people were sitting in their car, witnessing everything and wondering what had just happened.
A cop was down. The other two were hunched over trying to catch their breath while two big rigs sped out of the parking lot.
“Taeyeon…” the girl in the passenger side, Sunny, broke the silence. “What just happened?”
Taeyeon closed her gaping mouth and blinked rapidly.
“I don’t know. But that blonde truck driver has a pretty cute tushie.”
A/N: Guys, we had so much fun writing this LOL We hope you guys had just as much fun reading it! Apologies for any grammar mistakes. This was all for fun :D
Pairing: JeTi, YoonYul
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Jessica, Yoona, Tiffany, and Yuri are on a road trip.
Jinny’s note: I promise you we’re not on drugs.
Vanderly’s note: It’s a serious story. Ngl.
“CALIFORNIA GIRLS WE’RE UNDENIABLE! DAISY DUKES, BIKINIS ON TOP!”
“Oh my god, Tiffany, shut the fuck up.”
Tiffany and her companion, Yuri, were rolling down the highway in their swagged out, glittery pink eighteen wheeler truck. Tiffany was reliving her teenage dream of being a pop sensation while Yuri was driving. Needless to say, Yuri was tired of Tiffany. From time to time, she would glance over at Tiffany and wonder why she became friends with Tiffany Hwang. At times, she would catch herself mumbling to no one.
“It’s okay. Yuri, you can do it! Yuri is strong and wonderful. Yuri can handle a few more hours of Tiffany. Yuri is a unicorn.”
Tiffany’s ears perked up at the word “unicorn”. Anything cute, cuddly, magical, pink, or all of the above was hers.
“ANYTHING. PINK. MINE.”
Yuri sighed, “Are you high? We’ve only been in this truck for a day.”
“I don’t like you right now.”
“The feeling is mutual. Now shut the fuck up.”
Tiffany huffed and turned her music up even louder. Since Yuri was pissing her off, Tiffany ended up looking outside the window, gazing upon the blue skies. She looked in the rearview mirror to check herself out when something caught her eye.
“YAH KWON YURI! FOUR O’CLOCK!”
“WHAT I CAN’T HEAR YOU! THE MUSIC IS TOO DAMN LOUD!”
“I’M NOT GOING TO TURN IT DOWN!”
Eventually, Yuri gave up. She continued to mumble to herself, telling herself that murder did not look good on a new job application and that she was too pretty to be on Orange Is the New Black. Instead, Yuri settled for a punch on Tiffany’s head. As she punched Tiffany, she noticed a goddess who was driving right next to her. Time slowed down. Yuri became so mesmerized by the hair that was flowing in the wind.
“Dayummm, Tiffany! Three o’clock!”
“I told you, stupid--Oh my god look at the other girl.”
Time slowed down for Tiffany as well. Tiffany met the girl’s gaze. It was like a shot to her heart.
“I think I’m in love.”
Yuri looked over at the girl and she felt chills run down her spine.
“Fuck, she looks hella mad.”
“I don’t care, she’s perfect for me,” Tiffany said dreamily.
-
Meanwhile in the other truck, Coldplay was quietly flowing through the air as the brunette driver was humming along. In the other seat, a blonde was sleeping soundly. That is until they started to approach a hideous, pink truck blasting, literally, blasting Katy Perry.
“Yoona…” the girl mumbled, “Turn down the music.”
“It’s not us, Jessica.”
Jessica’s eyes slowly opened into slits, “What do you mean it’s not us?”
“Look.”
Jessica’s eyes followed Yoona’s fingers. The source of the obnoxiousness was right there in front of her eyes. She hated it instantly.
“Kill ‘em.”
“We can’t, we have a deadline, remember?”
“I don’t care. Go kill them.”
Yoona sighed as she just sped up, hoping to pass the pink truck and pacify her agitated friend.
“You can sleep for a bit, but you’re gonna be driving next. No complaining. I’m hungry. We’re going to stop at McDonalds.”
Jessica huffed in her seat but complied. She crossed her arms and pouted like a big baby. She didn’t forget to give a death glare at the other truck as they passed by. She was disgusted by the red haired girl sending her a kiss. She scoffed and looked away, hoping that she didn’t have a nightmare about that pink monster.
If she were to run into those two buffoons again, she will definitely kill them.
-
“Yuri, speed up! We have to keep pace with them. My dream girl is in there and she is waiting for me. I must come to her!”
“I’m seriously going to kill you if you don’t shut up.”
“Please, speed up! I know you have a thing with the other one.”
“Okay, fine.”
Yuri sped up, and tried to catch up with the other girls. Somehow, it became a race. The simple truck sped up each time they approached while the pink truck kept pace. Without noticing, both trucks ended up passing by a motorcycle with three policewomen. Sirens went off, the only person who noticed was Jessica who was once again awakened from her precious sleep.
“Pull over, cops are chasing us.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Yoona slowed down the truck. The policewomen eventually caught up and pulled over to Yoona’s side. Yuri noticed the simple truck was slowing down, the love of her life was getting pulled over! She couldn’t let this happen. So she pulled over as well, without knowing that she was also the culprit.
Looking down, Yoona noticed the three women - two tall ones and a short one, all wearing sunglasses. The short one had been driving the motorcycle, while her co-workers sat in sidecars, one on each side.
“Choi, go deal with these guys. Seo and I will go deal with the bedazzled truck.”
-
Officer Choi Sooyoung approached Yoona and Jessica’s truck.
“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.”
Yoona and Jessica compiled. They walked up to the cop and tried to explain the situation.
“Officer…” Yoona glanced down at the nametag, “...Choi, you don’t understand. Those two girls in the other truck kept chasing us. We had to speed to ensure our safety.”
Jessica added, “Do you believe the situation?”
“Yeah.”
Officer Choi was sympathetic to the two truck drivers. Still rules were rules and she had to give them a ticket for speeding. However, something in the truck drew her attention. She asked to inspect the truck.
“It’s protocol.”
True to her instinct, she found a box of donuts. She confiscated them, stating it was evidence that it needed to be inspected.
“Officer Choi, if you really wanted the donuts, why didn’t you say so?”
Yoona glared at Jessica, hoping it would send a telepathic message that those donuts belonged to her. Only her. Jessica returned the glare, signaling to Yoona that it was the only way to get the tall officer to leave. Yoona only sighed in response.
“Well, you can have them. On one condition.”
Too busy staring at the donuts, Officer Choi eagerly nodded.
“You let us off scotch free.”
“Deal! It’s a deal! Now gimme!!” She hungrily grabbed for the donuts, and could not stop staring at them with eyes of happiness.
Jessica winked as she handed the box to the policewoman. “Better keep this a secret.”
-
Meanwhile at the other truck, things were a little bit different.
“Names,” Officer Kim Hyoyeon commanded.
“Yuri Kwon,” Tiffany stated confidently.
“Yu-” Yuri glared at Tiffany, “You bitch! You can’t do this to me!”
“What are you talking about, Tiffany?”
“Oh my-I hate you,” Yuri muttered before turning to the officers, “My name is Tiffany.”
Officer Seo Juhyun looked sternly at them, “Tiffany what?”
“Tiffany...Hwang.”
Never had Yuri felt so small. Even pretending to be Tiffany was disgusting. Again, she wondered how she had met this crazy girl. She was beginning to regret it.
“Ms. Hwang and Ms. Kwon, do you ladies know why we pulled you over…”
As Officer Seo was speaking, neither of the girls paid one ounce of attention. They were far too distracted by the duo twenty-five feet ahead of them.
Tiffany slowly raked her eyes down the blonde’s body, admiring the choice in fashion from the leopard to the button down to the oxford shoes, even her little tushie. She wondered where has this girl been all her life.
Meanwhile, Yuri was gazing at the other girl, her goddess. She sighed at the flowing brown locks cascading down the long, slender back. She was PER-FECT.
Yuri and Tiffany turned to look at each other, and wiggled their eyebrows. A sign they used to show that they were hunting...for women. Yuri then realized why she was friends with Tiffany in the first place. Tiffany was the only other person that was as greasy as herself in the art of courtship.
While they were wiggling eyebrows, they had failed to notice the simple truck leaving them behind.
“Ms. Hwang, Ms. Kwon, are you listening?” Officer Kim asked.
“...what? Of course...of course. Continue on,” Tiffany and Yuri said simultaneously.
“As I was saying, citizens must abide by the law as it is the very foundation of our glorious country and without law society cannot function…” continued Officer Seo as her eyes lit with the fiery passion of justice.
“Hey guys! Look, I have donuts!”
The four ladies looked over at the muffled voice. Officer Choi was walking over with a box in one hand and a half eaten donut in the other. Officer Seo and Officer Kim gaped at the sight of their comrade and shook their heads in displeasure. Yuri and Tiffany were also displeased but not at the officer but at the missing eye candy.
“Oh shit, we gotta go! Smell ya later officers!”
Tiffany pulled Yuri into the truck, and badgered Yuri to start up the engine so they could catch up to their loves.
“Dammit Sooyoung! Now is not the time for your damn donuts!” Officer Kim screamed in anger.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! There is always a time for donuts, Hyoyeon! Donuts are life.”
“Unni, why did you even become a policewoman?”
“Because, Seohyun, I watched TV a lot and noticed that the cops eat a lot of donuts and I thought, ‘Wow that could be me.’” Sooyoung said with her donut in the air, “It was my calling!”
“Look at what you’ve done, you idiot. We lost four criminals! I would kill-” Hyoyeon was interrupted by Seohyun.
“Violence is not the answer, unni.”
“You know what is?”
“What, Sooyoung unni?”
Sooyoung took a long pause to finish chewing before answering to a curious Seohyun and a pissed off Hyoyeon.
“Donuts.”
-
Sometime later at a McDonalds…
Yoona groaned, “I’m so hungry. Aren’t you? Why did we give away our donuts.”
“No,” Jessica deadpanned, “I’m sleepy. Get your Big Mac so we can continue driving.”
“You sure you don’t want anything?” Yoona asked, “I think you should since you’ll be driving.”
As Jessica and Yoona were heading into the McDonalds, they failed to notice the two women following them. Jessica wondered if getting food here was worth it, or if waiting to go to an established five (maybe four) star restaurant was worth the wait. She didn’t want grease to appear on her shirt. The struggle became real.
“What should I do, Yoong?”
“What do you mean?”
“Should I just wait until we stop by somewhere with better choices?”
Yoona sighed, “It doesn’t matter. Whatever suits your tastes. But I want McDonalds, and you’re going to wait in line with me.”
Pushing the doors open, the sounds of beepers and people screaming became the only thing the women could hear. It was packed.
“I hate you. I hate you so much right now. Why does America have to be so fat.”
“Do I look fat to you?” Yoona paused, “No, right? So be quiet and patient while I get my Big Macs.”
Behind them, Yuri and Tiffany were whispering pick-up lines to each other--deciding on which ones were effective and not creepy whatsoever.
“What do you think about the angel pick-up line?”
Tiffany scratched her chin.
“Just go with the other one, since we’re at a McDonalds.”
“Okay, which one are you using?”
Just then a Drake song came on in the background. Tiffany started to bob her head and sing along.
“I’ve got my eyes on you. You’re everything that I need. I want your hot love and emotions endlessly.”
The lightbulb in Tiffany’s head lit up.
“I’ll use the eyes one!”
“Sounds gucci. Grease on three. One, two, three!”
The two truckers fist bumped. The plan was in motion.
-
Jessica and Yoona were waiting in line patiently waiting to order Yoona’s Big Macs when Jessica sensed a disturbance in the force. She turned her head and there in front of her was her greatest nightmare. Forcing a smile, Jessica threatened through clenched teeth.
“If you don’t leave me alone right now. I will kill you personally with my own bare hands.”
Tiffany giggled obnoxiously and winked.
“You just can’t keep your hands off of me, can’t ya babe?”
Jessica wanted to vomit. She turned to Yoona and tugged on her sleeve.
“Yoona, we gotta go. Grease and Greasier are here.”
Yoona shook off Jessica’s hand.
“Tolerate it for a bit. I need to get my Big Macs.”
Jessica scoffed in frustration. She was going to kill someone at this rate. She was burning a hole in the wall with her glare when Tiffany decided to crank up her lady charming skills to maximum and tapped Jessica on the shoulder.
“Hey…” Tiffany glanced at Jessica’s chest and saw the name tag plastered on the left side, “Jessica, you have something on your butt.”
Jessica’s eyes narrowed but she still glanced behind her to check. Classy women like her can never be blemished, especially not their butts.
Tiffany took this opportunity to lean in and whisper.
“My eyes.”
She finished it off another wink and a greasy smirk.
Jessica wanted to scream and slap her but she kept her composure and turned back to Yoona.
“Yoona,” her voice was strained at this point, “We. need. to. leave. now. N. O. W.”
Yoona was about to retort when someone tapped her shoulder.
Yuri had approached Yoona from behind. She had lightly tapped her on the shoulder, and then proceeded to whisper into her ear.
“Wow, look at that menu. So many choices, but I can’t choose one.”
“Please, don’t speak to me. I just want Big Macs.”
Yoona brushed off Yuri, and stepped closer to the front of the line. Yuri did not get the memo, and continued to sweet talk her goddess.
“Too bad they don’t offer what I really want.”
Glancing over her shoulder, Yoona was about to give Yuri a black eye, but she decided against it. It was against policy after all.
“But you know what’s not on the menu?”
Yoona huffed, and tugged on Jessica’s shirt.
“Jessica, please get her away.”
Jessica turned to look at her, “I can’t. This other idiot keeps talking to me and wiggling her eyebrows.”
“Hey! That’s not nice!” Tiffany yelped.
“Me-n-u,” Yuri finished off by whispering it close to Yoona’s ear. She started laughing at her own joke after.
“Get it?” She slapped her knee. “Me-n-u? Menu? Oh my god, I’m so funny.”
Yoona’s face contorted in disgust. She had lost her appetite. That never happens. Yuri was indeed a greasy hobo.
“Jessica, let’s go.”
Yoona grabbed onto Jessica’s wrist and tugged her away while Yuri was still too busy laughing at her menu pick-up line.
“Hey wait!” Tiffany yelled but got distracted by someone walking by with a strawberry smoothie.
“Oh my gosh! Pink!”
-
Officer Kim, Seo, and Choi continued patrolling the highway after their bizarre encounter with the truckers. However, their peaceful patrol was interrupted by a rumbling noise and Sooyoung’s whining.
“Ohhhh noooo, my stomach is calling to meee! Hyoooo, I’m hungrrryyy.”
“Fatass, you just ate those illegal donuts!”
“I’m hungryyyyyyyy!”
Seohyun sighed from her side of the motorcycle. Pulling out her own lunch, sweet potatoes.
“Hyoyeon unni, we should feed Sooyoung unni if she’s really that hungry.”
“Yes, listen to wise maknae. I can’t work on an empty stomach. How can I possibly catch bad guys in this condition?”
Hyoyeon scoffed.
“How can you possibly catch them…” she breathed in, “ WHEN YOU LET THEM GO!”
“Hyooooooo, I’m hunnnnnnn-guuhhhh-reeeeeee. Take me to McDonalds, pleeeassseeee.”
“Unni, an unhealthy diet can accumulate and eventually, you’ll die.”
“I’m gonna die at this rate if I don’t get anything to eat!”
Sooyoung started to wave her arms around and kick her legs, having a tantrum in her sidecar.
“Dammit, Soo, we’re gonna crash because of you. Fine, fine we’ll go to damn McDonalds.”
The cops pulled up into the parking lot. Seohyun saw the two trucks in the parking lot and was about to say something when Sooyoung grabbed both of their wrists and bolted into the fast food joint. They completely missed the two exiting girls on their way in.
-
As Jessica and Yoona were running away from McDonalds, the taller trucker’s stomach growled.
“We can’t leave. We can’t leave. I’m hungry.”
“Oh my god, we can get food later. We have to go now. What if my beautiful face breaks out from all that grease?”
Jessica tugged harder on Yoona’s hand, but she wouldn’t budge.
“Hold on, I smell something,” Yoona sniffed the air, “It’s definitely not McDonalds. It smells like potatoes.”
“McDonalds makes french fries, stupid.”
“No no no, these are steamed. Steamed sweet potatoes.”
Yoona dragged the other girl to the source of the lovely scent. She knew she was getting nearer and nearer.
“Yaaas! I found it! Do you think they’ll mind if I take it?” Yoona turned to ask Jessica.
“Probably not, since they’re out in the open. It basically says ‘Eat me’. I’m going back to the truck.”
Yoona snatched the potatoes while muttering ‘hot, hot, hot’ and followed after Jessica, sweet potatoes in tow.
__
Tiffany was staring at the pink drink when three people entered the restaurant capturing her attention.
“Shit!”
She ran up to Yuri and slapped her back causing Yuri to stop laughing.
“Ow! What was that for?”
Yuri was rubbing her back when she saw the three cops.
“Shit! Tiffany we gotta go.”
They booked it out of the restaurant as fast as they could but their plan backfired when Tiffany tripped and fell right in front of the cops.
“Hey it’s you! Yuri Kwon!”
Tiffany scampered up to her feet.
“Do I know you?” Tiffany was playing dumb, “I think you have the wrong person. I’m Tiffany Hwang. Now, that over there,” she said pointing to Yuri, “that’s Yuri Kwon.”
“Tiffany, you bitch!” Yuri screamed. “How could you sell me out? Twice!”
“You snooze you lose, suckah!” Tiffany said as she ran out the door. When she exited she saw the tall brunette trailing after the blonde who was climbing into the driver side of the simple truck. This was her chance! She could hitch a ride and win over the love of her life.
__
The cops stood a little stunned as the red haired girl ran out. They looked back over to Yuri who was still dumbfounded and appalled that Tiffany had the audacity to leave her behind.
“So, you’re Yuri Kwon? Do you know that it’s another charge to lie to an officer?”
Yuri looked at them before bolting out the door as well. The cops chased after her and saw Tiffany running over to the simple truck.
Yuri chased after Tiffany when she saw her goddess. Time slowed for Yuri as her goddess walked across the blacktop like a model, winding blowing through her hair as her slender fingers picked up a sweet potato.
Seohyun also noticed the doe eyed girl walking across. Time slowed for her as well when she noticed slender fingers holding onto her precious sweet potatoes. Her eyes flared with wrath as she changed courses.
“Come back with my sweet potatoes you thief!”
__
Yoona was casually walking over to her truck totally immersed in the delicious bliss of sweet potatoes engulfing her taste buds. She failed to notice the doors burst open twice.
She was chewing on her newly acquired snack when she felt danger - her deer senses were tingling. She turned her head and her eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights.
One of the taller cops from before was zooming right at her and it didn’t seem like she was stopping anything soon. She braced herself for the impact when suddenly another body flew in front of her, blocking the cop.
She looked up at her savior. She gasped at the sight. Her knight in shining armor was really that greasy trucker!
Yuri quickly got up and dragged Yoona to the swagged out pink truck.
“Get in! We have to leave!”
Yoona reluctantly climbed in and Yuri started the engine, leaving the parking lot in haste.
__
Meanwhile, Tiffany had snuck into the other truck unbestowed to the blonde bombshell who was resting her head on the wheel. Jessica looked up when she heard the radio turn on to a pop channel. She looked over wondering what had possessed Yoona when she gasped in horror.
“What do you think you are doing?”
“Sitting.” Tiffany replied cutely and smiled. It was completely different from her previous greasy smiles. This smile was sweet and breath-taking. There was no eyebrow wiggling involved in the slightest. Instead, Tiffany’s eyes curved up into crescents.
Jessica’s mouth gaped at the sight. She was taken aback. Never had she seen such a beautiful sight. She closed her mouth and gulped, looking away. That’s when she saw the chaos taking place outside. Two cops were in the parking lot running towards her truck as the other one was tackled by Tiffany’s friend.
“Shit,” Tiffany uttered. “Jessica start the engine.”
Jessica hesitated. What about Yoona? She looked out again and saw Yoona being towed away with the dark haired girl. She looked back at the eye smiling girl who was staring expected at her.
“Jessica! Hurry! The two other cops are coming!”
Jessica snapped out of her reverie and turned the keys all the way. She stepped on the gas and followed the swaggy out pink truck out of the parking lot.
-
As this all went down, two people were sitting in their car, witnessing everything and wondering what had just happened.
A cop was down. The other two were hunched over trying to catch their breath while two big rigs sped out of the parking lot.
“Taeyeon…” the girl in the passenger side, Sunny, broke the silence. “What just happened?”
Taeyeon closed her gaping mouth and blinked rapidly.
“I don’t know. But that blonde truck driver has a pretty cute tushie.”
A/N: Guys, we had so much fun writing this LOL We hope you guys had just as much fun reading it! Apologies for any grammar mistakes. This was all for fun :D