Maybe Next Time Perhaps
A/N: “It’s only fair that I should be the one to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes until I find the one where you’ll return to me.”
T/W: Suicide mention
Inspiration: http://s2b2.livejournal.com/142934.html
Jessica Jung is aware that she’s been reincarnated… again. And every single time she falls for Tiffany Hwang.
At least she’s pretty positive it’s her.
Sometimes, Tiffany has brown hair, sometimes black or blonde, even red at one point.
Sometimes she’s shorter than Jessica. Sometimes he’s taller-there are times when Tiffany is taller and muscular and male. In others, she’s petite and curvy and graceful.
The lives start to blur after a while.
But every time they meet, even if it’s for a brief second, Jessica’s head starts to pound, her heartbeat resounds in her ears, her mouth dries, and her hands shake slightly.
It has to be love.
---
They meet as teenagers. They both attend the same high school in the same grade with the same homeroom teacher. Tiffany is loud and outgoing, befriending everyone almost instantly.
Jessica wants to go up to her. She wants to tell her everything she remembers. The things they did and the love they shared that spanned millennia.
But she did that once.
And it didn’t end well.
So Jessica stays silent and admires her soulmate from afar.
She quietly sit in the corner and stares as a tall football player walks in and Tiffany gets up to embrace him.
She doesn’t move an inch as they kiss and she is reminded of all the times before where it was her lips instead of his.
She looks away and starts to do her math assignment.
---
It’s rare for Tiffany to ever love Jessica back.
Whatever movies or books depicted about soulmates is entirely wrong. Just because you deem someone your soulmate doesn’t mean it has to be reciprocated, let alone in each and every lifetime.
Jessica’s all too familiar with this. She just happens to be one of the few that fell for the same person each and every time.
---
She remembers the first time they fell in love. She likes to think this was their first life together.
At least this is the earliest one she can remember.
They were kids on the playground. Barely four feet tall.
Life was happier then.
They were neighbors and played every day at the nearby park. Stephanie was a bright and carefree girl that always dragged Jessica into trouble.
“Jessi, let’s jump off the swings!”
Jessica had to be taken to the emergency room for a possible broken arm. She left with no broken bones but an arm covered in white bandages. It didn’t hurt much.
Especially not after Stephanie apologized with eyes full of tears and cheeks a light pink. They turned a dark red after Jessica pecked her cheek and gently reassured her that it was an accident.
“Daddy said being mad at someone for something they didn’t mean to do is silly. He said that forgiving someone first makes me strong and brave.”
Stephanie looked at her in awe and admiration. She hiccuped slightly before speaking.
“Jessi, you’re the bravest person I know.”
It was Jessica’s turn to blush as she grabbed Stephanie and pulled her inside to get some cookies and milk.
Jessica still thinks about that life a lot.
She’s Jesse in this lifetime and staring at Stephan as the taller boy gets ready for a date with a girl they met at a cafe.
Jessica couldn’t be mad at Stephanie for not loving her back. She didn’t mean to if she didn’t know. The pain in her chest was silly even if it spanned lifetimes.
---
The seventeenth (or was it the seven hundredth?) time Tiffany breaks Jessica’s heart, hers isn’t even beating.
Jessica’s in a rainy city. It’s dark and gloomy and depressing.
This should have been the first sign.
It’s her twenty-fifth birthday when the memories come flooding back into her head.
She never knows why or how she becomes aware that it wasn’t her first time being alive but every time it makes her throw up and pass out. She just knows it always happens on a birthday, whether age five or age sixty-five. She usually blames it on alcohol if she was nineteen or over, such as in this case.
She wakes up to an aching headache but an even worse heartache. Bright glistening eyes and plump pink lips haunt her from that moment on.
Three weeks later she finds her love.
Her head pound and her hands shake like they always did when she finds her Stephanie. But this time tears came too and she kneels down. Her fingers trace the cravings on the stone.
Hwang Miyoung.
She stay there for hours before leaving the graveyard but without her heart.
This isn’t the first time she doesn’t meet Tiffany. She hates those lifetimes the most.
---
Jessica remembers the one life Tiffany and her had their happy ending. She holds on to it dearly. She’s pretty sure it’s connected to their first life, the playground one. It was, afterall, the most vivid but honestly, she lost track a long time ago. First or not, it’s her happiest and that’s what makes it the saddest.
They had made all the way through happily.
They met.
They dated.
They married.
They loved.
Jessica always tries to piece together a picture of their first lives together. She bases it off the number of times she can remember their traits being repeated so often they couldn’t have been just coincidence. She imagines them as both female. Stephanie is brunette while she’s blonde, dyed of course. They’re both Korean; both born in America, California specifically. Stephanie is Stephanie and she’s still just Jessica.
They grew up together. They grow old together.
Those two never happen again.
Jessica thinks they never do because it was a one time thing and the universe deemed her undeserving of it ever happening again. She’s not sure what she did. That’s why their first lives were the happiest and that’s also why they’re also the saddest.
Life only gives you one happy ending and that’s why all the others are sad in comparison.
---
The lifetimes are always full of surprises.
There’s one that stood out in particular. It’s one of her favorites.
She’s an orange, tabby housecat in this lifetime and Tiffany’s a small, white maltese. She remembers the first time they meet in her backyard.
“Hey you! What are you doing in my yard?”
The dog barks in joy at seeing her. “Hi! I’m Fany! I came through there. I like your bow! What’s your name?”
Jessica glances at the hole beneath her fence and then taps at the pink bow on her head before glaring at the intruder.
“Why is your coat so dirty?”
The maltese glances down, the bell on her neck chiming with the motion.
“Well,” she paws the ground sadly, “I don’t really have a place to stay. I just kinda wander around. Nobody wants me.”
Jessica paws her ear sheepishly. She feels so sympathetic for the poor dog. She can’t imagine not having someone to love and care for her.
“I want you. I’ll be your home.”
The dog looks up, confusion seen in those sad shining eyes.
“Come on. I’ll show you to my owner.”
Jessica’s owner falls in love the minute she saw the hyperactive maltese, wagging its tail and yapping.
From then on, it was Maomao and Princess Fany.
The two are inseparable. There’s just something about Fany that draws Jessica to her.
Jessica’s favorite pastime is to lie next to Fany and paw at her bell. It bothers the dog until she pounces on Jessica licking her face in revenge, bell swinging happily.
They play until they fall asleep with Fany’s head on top of hers, pink collar matching nicely with the pink bow.
Bell chimes quickly became Jessica’s favorite sound.
Then one day, they stop.
The door opens but there was only the sound of heavy footsteps. Her owner’s crying and Fany’s nowhere in sight.
Something’swrong.
Jessica walks up to her and nuzzles her leg. Her owner picks her up and holds her as she sobs.
“Maomao,” her owner’s voice breaks. “Princess is gone. She’s gone. We were taking a walk but then she suddenly ran and the leash slipped and-”
She holds out her hand. A single bell, all too familiar, lays in the middle of her palm, deformed and silent.
Car accident.
Her ears ring with the deafening sound of muffled sobs and broken hearts.
She doesn’t like to remember the last part.
Jessica hated bells from that point on.
-
“Jessi, I love you.”
Tiffany does love her back sometimes and sparks fly. Jessica’s heart soars and soars through the clouds never wanting to return to earth.
Until the next life time.
Those ones always end too fast.
---
There’s one time recently (or at least Jessica thinks it’s recent) that Tiffany does love her back.
Albeit, it’s only for one night.
Jessica likes to pretend that it was love and not just the alcohol.
She wakes up to an empty bed with even emptier memories. Later she finds out that the girl was only visiting for spring break and last night was the last day of her visit.
It had to be Tiffany. It was always Tiffany… except once. (She doesn’t like to think about that one. It was too painful.)
Jessica doesn’t get a name of the school nor the girl.
She’s only left with haunting images of glistening eyes and plump pink lips.
---
Jessica does think about the prospect that Tiffany isn’t her soulmate.
She could be mistaken.
The first time this occurs to her is when she sees the boy again. The football player from how ever many lifetimes ago (or in the future?). Except this time, he’s a successful businessman.
And he’s with Tiffany again.
Jessica’s mind whirls.
Could Tiffany have multiple soulmates? Is that even possible?
Or maybe… Jessica isn’t even one. Maybe she’s got it all wrong from the first time. Maybe Tiffany’s happier without her.
(It would explain why Tiffany rarely loves her back.)
This is the first lifetime Jessica tested fate and involved herself romantically with someone other than Tiffany. It’s some girl she meets at the club when she gets herself smashed drunk after seeing the lovely couple. She’s a small petite girl and it only lasts one night.
Afterwards, Jessica does perhaps the stupidest thing she’s ever done in her lifetimes.
(And she’s done some stupid stupid things.)
It’s the first and last time Jessica committed suicide. She wants to start over fast because how could she possibly not love Tiffany.
“Jessi, you’re the bravest person I know.”
She closes her eyes and speeds her car over a bridge.
She doesn't even feel the impact. Her world is completely silent except for the faint sound of bells in the back of her mind.
Fate isn’t happy with her.
Her next lifetime is the most painful.
---
There are times where fate really liked to fuck with her.
Everything starts off normal.
They meet, they talk, they date, they even make it to their third anniversary.
It’s Valentine’s day and Jessica is ready to propose to Tiffany.
She books an expensive restaurant, buys the biggest pink jewel for the ring, and even hires their favorite band for a live performance.
Everything is perfect.
And that’s when she gets the call.
Jessica races to the hospital, heart pounding and hands shaking.
Bells hanging on the doorknob chimed as she rushes through the door.
There she finds Tiffany dress in white as her lifeline beeps faintly on a machine.
Her eyes are closed and her lips are pale.
Car accident.
Fate really does like to fuck with her.
---
Jessica’s sitting in the dance practice room. They have just been given a break while the dance instructor talks to another staff member.
The girls start to gossip. There have been rumors of two new trainees joining them.
Jessica just scoffs it off. They all come and go.
She’s lost in thought thinking about the girl she’s been having dreams about since her birthday.
There’s just something about those glistening eyes and plump pink lips.
Suddenly she’s shaken out of her thoughts when the bells on the door chimes (She’s always hated that sound). The dance instructor returns with two new girls. One is short and has a shy, yet goofy smile. The other is beaming in joy and Jessica has to look away for a bit from the sheer brightness of her smile.
They introduce themselves but Jessica’s heart is pounding too loud in her ears to register anything.
The instructor whispers something to the taller girl and she makes her way towards Jessica.
“Oh my gosh! American girl! I’m Stephanie and I’m from the States too!”
Jessica is in shock. The girl is sticking her hand out while staring expectantly at her with glistening eyes. Her plump pink lips are smiling at her and Jessica can barely breathe.
Jessica’s hand shakes slightly as she grabs Stephanie’s hand lightly.
Stephanie pulls her into an embrace instead and giggles.
“You know, you remind me of someone but I can’t quite remember who.”
Something clicks.
And suddenly, everything is calm.
A/N #2: Another fic for the potato. Actually the first one I wrote for the spud. I should start a potato series. Sorry for any weird tense switches because past me wrote it in past tense and I have changed my ways. Also rereading my own fic again makes me cringe lol. This is my goodbye fic to JeTi. It was fun shipping them but it's time to move on.
P.S. There are a couple shoutouts to other JeTi writers in here
T/W: Suicide mention
Inspiration: http://s2b2.livejournal.com/142934.html
Jessica Jung is aware that she’s been reincarnated… again. And every single time she falls for Tiffany Hwang.
At least she’s pretty positive it’s her.
Sometimes, Tiffany has brown hair, sometimes black or blonde, even red at one point.
Sometimes she’s shorter than Jessica. Sometimes he’s taller-there are times when Tiffany is taller and muscular and male. In others, she’s petite and curvy and graceful.
The lives start to blur after a while.
But every time they meet, even if it’s for a brief second, Jessica’s head starts to pound, her heartbeat resounds in her ears, her mouth dries, and her hands shake slightly.
It has to be love.
---
They meet as teenagers. They both attend the same high school in the same grade with the same homeroom teacher. Tiffany is loud and outgoing, befriending everyone almost instantly.
Jessica wants to go up to her. She wants to tell her everything she remembers. The things they did and the love they shared that spanned millennia.
But she did that once.
And it didn’t end well.
So Jessica stays silent and admires her soulmate from afar.
She quietly sit in the corner and stares as a tall football player walks in and Tiffany gets up to embrace him.
She doesn’t move an inch as they kiss and she is reminded of all the times before where it was her lips instead of his.
She looks away and starts to do her math assignment.
---
It’s rare for Tiffany to ever love Jessica back.
Whatever movies or books depicted about soulmates is entirely wrong. Just because you deem someone your soulmate doesn’t mean it has to be reciprocated, let alone in each and every lifetime.
Jessica’s all too familiar with this. She just happens to be one of the few that fell for the same person each and every time.
---
She remembers the first time they fell in love. She likes to think this was their first life together.
At least this is the earliest one she can remember.
They were kids on the playground. Barely four feet tall.
Life was happier then.
They were neighbors and played every day at the nearby park. Stephanie was a bright and carefree girl that always dragged Jessica into trouble.
“Jessi, let’s jump off the swings!”
Jessica had to be taken to the emergency room for a possible broken arm. She left with no broken bones but an arm covered in white bandages. It didn’t hurt much.
Especially not after Stephanie apologized with eyes full of tears and cheeks a light pink. They turned a dark red after Jessica pecked her cheek and gently reassured her that it was an accident.
“Daddy said being mad at someone for something they didn’t mean to do is silly. He said that forgiving someone first makes me strong and brave.”
Stephanie looked at her in awe and admiration. She hiccuped slightly before speaking.
“Jessi, you’re the bravest person I know.”
It was Jessica’s turn to blush as she grabbed Stephanie and pulled her inside to get some cookies and milk.
Jessica still thinks about that life a lot.
She’s Jesse in this lifetime and staring at Stephan as the taller boy gets ready for a date with a girl they met at a cafe.
Jessica couldn’t be mad at Stephanie for not loving her back. She didn’t mean to if she didn’t know. The pain in her chest was silly even if it spanned lifetimes.
---
The seventeenth (or was it the seven hundredth?) time Tiffany breaks Jessica’s heart, hers isn’t even beating.
Jessica’s in a rainy city. It’s dark and gloomy and depressing.
This should have been the first sign.
It’s her twenty-fifth birthday when the memories come flooding back into her head.
She never knows why or how she becomes aware that it wasn’t her first time being alive but every time it makes her throw up and pass out. She just knows it always happens on a birthday, whether age five or age sixty-five. She usually blames it on alcohol if she was nineteen or over, such as in this case.
She wakes up to an aching headache but an even worse heartache. Bright glistening eyes and plump pink lips haunt her from that moment on.
Three weeks later she finds her love.
Her head pound and her hands shake like they always did when she finds her Stephanie. But this time tears came too and she kneels down. Her fingers trace the cravings on the stone.
Hwang Miyoung.
She stay there for hours before leaving the graveyard but without her heart.
This isn’t the first time she doesn’t meet Tiffany. She hates those lifetimes the most.
---
Jessica remembers the one life Tiffany and her had their happy ending. She holds on to it dearly. She’s pretty sure it’s connected to their first life, the playground one. It was, afterall, the most vivid but honestly, she lost track a long time ago. First or not, it’s her happiest and that’s what makes it the saddest.
They had made all the way through happily.
They met.
They dated.
They married.
They loved.
Jessica always tries to piece together a picture of their first lives together. She bases it off the number of times she can remember their traits being repeated so often they couldn’t have been just coincidence. She imagines them as both female. Stephanie is brunette while she’s blonde, dyed of course. They’re both Korean; both born in America, California specifically. Stephanie is Stephanie and she’s still just Jessica.
They grew up together. They grow old together.
Those two never happen again.
Jessica thinks they never do because it was a one time thing and the universe deemed her undeserving of it ever happening again. She’s not sure what she did. That’s why their first lives were the happiest and that’s also why they’re also the saddest.
Life only gives you one happy ending and that’s why all the others are sad in comparison.
---
The lifetimes are always full of surprises.
There’s one that stood out in particular. It’s one of her favorites.
She’s an orange, tabby housecat in this lifetime and Tiffany’s a small, white maltese. She remembers the first time they meet in her backyard.
“Hey you! What are you doing in my yard?”
The dog barks in joy at seeing her. “Hi! I’m Fany! I came through there. I like your bow! What’s your name?”
Jessica glances at the hole beneath her fence and then taps at the pink bow on her head before glaring at the intruder.
“Why is your coat so dirty?”
The maltese glances down, the bell on her neck chiming with the motion.
“Well,” she paws the ground sadly, “I don’t really have a place to stay. I just kinda wander around. Nobody wants me.”
Jessica paws her ear sheepishly. She feels so sympathetic for the poor dog. She can’t imagine not having someone to love and care for her.
“I want you. I’ll be your home.”
The dog looks up, confusion seen in those sad shining eyes.
“Come on. I’ll show you to my owner.”
Jessica’s owner falls in love the minute she saw the hyperactive maltese, wagging its tail and yapping.
From then on, it was Maomao and Princess Fany.
The two are inseparable. There’s just something about Fany that draws Jessica to her.
Jessica’s favorite pastime is to lie next to Fany and paw at her bell. It bothers the dog until she pounces on Jessica licking her face in revenge, bell swinging happily.
They play until they fall asleep with Fany’s head on top of hers, pink collar matching nicely with the pink bow.
Bell chimes quickly became Jessica’s favorite sound.
Then one day, they stop.
The door opens but there was only the sound of heavy footsteps. Her owner’s crying and Fany’s nowhere in sight.
Something’swrong.
Jessica walks up to her and nuzzles her leg. Her owner picks her up and holds her as she sobs.
“Maomao,” her owner’s voice breaks. “Princess is gone. She’s gone. We were taking a walk but then she suddenly ran and the leash slipped and-”
She holds out her hand. A single bell, all too familiar, lays in the middle of her palm, deformed and silent.
Car accident.
Her ears ring with the deafening sound of muffled sobs and broken hearts.
She doesn’t like to remember the last part.
Jessica hated bells from that point on.
-
“Jessi, I love you.”
Tiffany does love her back sometimes and sparks fly. Jessica’s heart soars and soars through the clouds never wanting to return to earth.
Until the next life time.
Those ones always end too fast.
---
There’s one time recently (or at least Jessica thinks it’s recent) that Tiffany does love her back.
Albeit, it’s only for one night.
Jessica likes to pretend that it was love and not just the alcohol.
She wakes up to an empty bed with even emptier memories. Later she finds out that the girl was only visiting for spring break and last night was the last day of her visit.
It had to be Tiffany. It was always Tiffany… except once. (She doesn’t like to think about that one. It was too painful.)
Jessica doesn’t get a name of the school nor the girl.
She’s only left with haunting images of glistening eyes and plump pink lips.
---
Jessica does think about the prospect that Tiffany isn’t her soulmate.
She could be mistaken.
The first time this occurs to her is when she sees the boy again. The football player from how ever many lifetimes ago (or in the future?). Except this time, he’s a successful businessman.
And he’s with Tiffany again.
Jessica’s mind whirls.
Could Tiffany have multiple soulmates? Is that even possible?
Or maybe… Jessica isn’t even one. Maybe she’s got it all wrong from the first time. Maybe Tiffany’s happier without her.
(It would explain why Tiffany rarely loves her back.)
This is the first lifetime Jessica tested fate and involved herself romantically with someone other than Tiffany. It’s some girl she meets at the club when she gets herself smashed drunk after seeing the lovely couple. She’s a small petite girl and it only lasts one night.
Afterwards, Jessica does perhaps the stupidest thing she’s ever done in her lifetimes.
(And she’s done some stupid stupid things.)
It’s the first and last time Jessica committed suicide. She wants to start over fast because how could she possibly not love Tiffany.
“Jessi, you’re the bravest person I know.”
She closes her eyes and speeds her car over a bridge.
She doesn't even feel the impact. Her world is completely silent except for the faint sound of bells in the back of her mind.
Fate isn’t happy with her.
Her next lifetime is the most painful.
---
There are times where fate really liked to fuck with her.
Everything starts off normal.
They meet, they talk, they date, they even make it to their third anniversary.
It’s Valentine’s day and Jessica is ready to propose to Tiffany.
She books an expensive restaurant, buys the biggest pink jewel for the ring, and even hires their favorite band for a live performance.
Everything is perfect.
And that’s when she gets the call.
Jessica races to the hospital, heart pounding and hands shaking.
Bells hanging on the doorknob chimed as she rushes through the door.
There she finds Tiffany dress in white as her lifeline beeps faintly on a machine.
Her eyes are closed and her lips are pale.
Car accident.
Fate really does like to fuck with her.
---
Jessica’s sitting in the dance practice room. They have just been given a break while the dance instructor talks to another staff member.
The girls start to gossip. There have been rumors of two new trainees joining them.
Jessica just scoffs it off. They all come and go.
She’s lost in thought thinking about the girl she’s been having dreams about since her birthday.
There’s just something about those glistening eyes and plump pink lips.
Suddenly she’s shaken out of her thoughts when the bells on the door chimes (She’s always hated that sound). The dance instructor returns with two new girls. One is short and has a shy, yet goofy smile. The other is beaming in joy and Jessica has to look away for a bit from the sheer brightness of her smile.
They introduce themselves but Jessica’s heart is pounding too loud in her ears to register anything.
The instructor whispers something to the taller girl and she makes her way towards Jessica.
“Oh my gosh! American girl! I’m Stephanie and I’m from the States too!”
Jessica is in shock. The girl is sticking her hand out while staring expectantly at her with glistening eyes. Her plump pink lips are smiling at her and Jessica can barely breathe.
Jessica’s hand shakes slightly as she grabs Stephanie’s hand lightly.
Stephanie pulls her into an embrace instead and giggles.
“You know, you remind me of someone but I can’t quite remember who.”
Something clicks.
And suddenly, everything is calm.
A/N #2: Another fic for the potato. Actually the first one I wrote for the spud. I should start a potato series. Sorry for any weird tense switches because past me wrote it in past tense and I have changed my ways. Also rereading my own fic again makes me cringe lol. This is my goodbye fic to JeTi. It was fun shipping them but it's time to move on.
P.S. There are a couple shoutouts to other JeTi writers in here