Fic: Science Fiction Double Feature
Title: Science Fiction Double Feature
Author: kappamaki33
Rating: PG
Summary: “Culture Shock” ‘verse Halloween Special. Gaeta and Hoshi are gung-ho about their Halloween costumes, but their luck with Earth holidays continues. Crack.
Characters: Gaeta, Hoshi, Hotdog; (Gaeta/Hoshi).
Notes: For lorrainemarker's prompt. Also, apparently having the music from “Rocky Horror Glee Show” stuck in my head all week paid off.
Science Fiction Double Feature
From just looking at them, the average person probably wouldn’t think Felix Gaeta and Louis Hoshi were what you would call “party animals.” And yet, they got invited to almost every holiday party hosted by a Colonial in the greater Vancouver area. Some of the motivation behind the invites was cultural solidarity, some that they were genuinely nice guys. However, it couldn’t be denied that a large part of their popularity stemmed from the fact that they took holidays so seriously, and yet somehow still got the traditions so spectacularly and entertainingly wrong.
The general consensus was that Gaeta and Hoshi were too thoughtful for their own good. They made the mistake of assuming that Earth rituals followed some form of logic. Thus, they flummoxed their boss when they didn’t show up for a videoconference scheduled on Pi Day (“But didn’t you say we got holidays off? What, just important ones? But you’re a physicist-what could be more important than a holiday for geometry?”) but showed up to work on Labour Day (“If that’s how you celebrate, shouldn’t you call it Not-Labouring Day?”). They campaigned for changing the Easter Bunny to the Easter Platypus (“Hey, if you want both furry like a rabbit and egg-laying, it’s your only viable option on this planet”), got hand-wraps and gloves and a punching bag in preparation for Boxing Day (“We really should’ve known we had something wrong, since Helo wasn’t more excited about it”), and were heartbroken to discover that, despite what the film suggested, Groundhog Day had absolutely nothing to do with time-travel (“Well, frak”).
Gaeta and Hoshi were always very good-humored about their mistakes, though, and about how much amusement their mishaps supplied everyone else. Hence, while Brendan was not at all surprised to see Gaeta and Hoshi at Narcho’s big Halloween bash, he was surprised to find them sitting on a couch in the corner, far removed from the raucous crowd. Well, if they’d been sitting on a couch in the corner making out, he wouldn’t exactly have been shocked, either (the story of their drunken PDA at Dee’s bachelorette party was the stuff of legend, as was Gaeta’s preceding karaoke performance of a Rocky Horror medley). But it wasn’t like them to slouch and stare moodily at their drinks when there was partying going on.
Brendan went over to investigate. “Hi, guys. Happy Halloween!”
“Oh, hi Brend-oh, Hotdog the hotdog. Clever,” Hoshi said dispiritedly when he looked up.
“Thanks.” Hotdog grinned and pulled at the giant cloth hotdog bun he was wearing as if it had jacket lapels. “Nicky was one of those little mini pigs-in-a-blanket you get at IHOP. We were a big hit trick-or-treating last night.”
“That’s really cute,” Gaeta said halfheartedly. Suddenly, he sat bolt upright, like something had just occurred to him. He lightly hit Hoshi’s shoulder. He pointed at Brendan and said, “Hey, he’s a card-carrying GEEC. I bet he gets it.”
Hoshi perked up at that, too. They both looked up at Brendan. “Do you recognize our costumes?” Hoshi asked, something like desperation in his eyes.
Brendan took a better look at what they were wearing. Hoshi had on a strangely padded beige tunic, pants, and a cape, and he unconsciously flipped his hair out of his eyes with a shake of his head. Gaeta’s costume was so shiny that he was hard to look at. “A really vain fairytale prince and his magic mirror?” Brendan ventured a guess.
Hoshi sighed, and Gaeta’s head dropped into his hands. “I’m Starbuck, and he’s Cy the Cylon” Hoshi said, clearly frustrated.
Brendan contemplated the two once more, arms folded and head cocked. “Okay, I can see the Cylon Centurion thing. Though I gotta admit, it’s kinda weird that your fake leg looks way more high-tech than the rest of the killer robot suit. That’s not your fault, though. But Starbuck…yeah, you grew out your hair, but you’d need a stuffed bra to be Starbuck.”
Hoshi furrowed his brow and opened his mouth in protest, but Brendan continued before he had the chance. “And based on what I heard from Dee about her bachelorette party, isn’t Gaeta the one who’s more into cross-dressing anyway?” Everyone who hadn’t been there was still quite disappointed that Racetrack had only managed to get a sound recording of Gaeta’s rendition of “Sweet Transvestite” with her phone and not a video of the whole floor show.
Gaeta just stared at the ceiling and shook his head. “I am never doing tequila shots again.”
Hoshi jumped into the conversation again. “We’re not trying to be the real Starbuck and Cylon. We came as the 1970s and '80s TV version.”
“It’s supposed to be clever,” Gaeta added. “Ironic, you know, considering that we’re actually Colonial...” Gaeta looked at Hoshi and shrugged. “I give up. You’re right. This was a stupid costume idea.”
Hoshi said, “Told you we should’ve come as pirates.”
“I am not wearing a peg-leg. End of discussion.”
“But you had such a cute accent on Talk Like a Pirate Day!”
Brendan interrupted, “Wait, there’s a Talk Like a Pirate Day?”
Gaeta and Hoshi both brightened a little. “September 19th,” Hoshi said.
“You wouldn’t believe some of the holidays this planet has,” Gaeta added. “Every day is a celebration of something.”
“August 5th, International Beer Day,” said Hoshi.
“July 12th, Eat Your Jell-O Day,” said Gaeta.
“Mole Day, from 6:02 a.m. to 6:02 p.m. on October 23rd.” At Brendan’s confused look, Hoshi added, “Scientist joke. Just trust us on this one.”
“February’s my new favorite month, what with Working Naked Day, Read in the Bathtub Day, Madly in Love With Me Day, and National Condom Day.”
“February was a good month,” Hoshi said, smiling beatifically.
Gaeta continued, “The best part is, the more obscure the holiday, the simpler and more fully-explained the proper procedure for celebrating it. And I know this sounds cheesy, but I think Earthlings have got the right idea, recognizing that every day is a day worth celebrating.”
Hoshi smiled at Gaeta and took his hand. When it looked like they were about to get all gooey and romantic unless someone intervened, Brendan said, “Cool. So, now that you’re all festive again, you guys should really join the party. Dee’s even getting her karaoke machine going.”
And Racetrack had the tequila and a camera all ready to go in hopes of an encore performance of “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me,” but Gaeta and Hoshi didn’t need to know that. Yet.
Author: kappamaki33
Rating: PG
Summary: “Culture Shock” ‘verse Halloween Special. Gaeta and Hoshi are gung-ho about their Halloween costumes, but their luck with Earth holidays continues. Crack.
Characters: Gaeta, Hoshi, Hotdog; (Gaeta/Hoshi).
Notes: For lorrainemarker's prompt. Also, apparently having the music from “Rocky Horror Glee Show” stuck in my head all week paid off.
Science Fiction Double Feature
From just looking at them, the average person probably wouldn’t think Felix Gaeta and Louis Hoshi were what you would call “party animals.” And yet, they got invited to almost every holiday party hosted by a Colonial in the greater Vancouver area. Some of the motivation behind the invites was cultural solidarity, some that they were genuinely nice guys. However, it couldn’t be denied that a large part of their popularity stemmed from the fact that they took holidays so seriously, and yet somehow still got the traditions so spectacularly and entertainingly wrong.
The general consensus was that Gaeta and Hoshi were too thoughtful for their own good. They made the mistake of assuming that Earth rituals followed some form of logic. Thus, they flummoxed their boss when they didn’t show up for a videoconference scheduled on Pi Day (“But didn’t you say we got holidays off? What, just important ones? But you’re a physicist-what could be more important than a holiday for geometry?”) but showed up to work on Labour Day (“If that’s how you celebrate, shouldn’t you call it Not-Labouring Day?”). They campaigned for changing the Easter Bunny to the Easter Platypus (“Hey, if you want both furry like a rabbit and egg-laying, it’s your only viable option on this planet”), got hand-wraps and gloves and a punching bag in preparation for Boxing Day (“We really should’ve known we had something wrong, since Helo wasn’t more excited about it”), and were heartbroken to discover that, despite what the film suggested, Groundhog Day had absolutely nothing to do with time-travel (“Well, frak”).
Gaeta and Hoshi were always very good-humored about their mistakes, though, and about how much amusement their mishaps supplied everyone else. Hence, while Brendan was not at all surprised to see Gaeta and Hoshi at Narcho’s big Halloween bash, he was surprised to find them sitting on a couch in the corner, far removed from the raucous crowd. Well, if they’d been sitting on a couch in the corner making out, he wouldn’t exactly have been shocked, either (the story of their drunken PDA at Dee’s bachelorette party was the stuff of legend, as was Gaeta’s preceding karaoke performance of a Rocky Horror medley). But it wasn’t like them to slouch and stare moodily at their drinks when there was partying going on.
Brendan went over to investigate. “Hi, guys. Happy Halloween!”
“Oh, hi Brend-oh, Hotdog the hotdog. Clever,” Hoshi said dispiritedly when he looked up.
“Thanks.” Hotdog grinned and pulled at the giant cloth hotdog bun he was wearing as if it had jacket lapels. “Nicky was one of those little mini pigs-in-a-blanket you get at IHOP. We were a big hit trick-or-treating last night.”
“That’s really cute,” Gaeta said halfheartedly. Suddenly, he sat bolt upright, like something had just occurred to him. He lightly hit Hoshi’s shoulder. He pointed at Brendan and said, “Hey, he’s a card-carrying GEEC. I bet he gets it.”
Hoshi perked up at that, too. They both looked up at Brendan. “Do you recognize our costumes?” Hoshi asked, something like desperation in his eyes.
Brendan took a better look at what they were wearing. Hoshi had on a strangely padded beige tunic, pants, and a cape, and he unconsciously flipped his hair out of his eyes with a shake of his head. Gaeta’s costume was so shiny that he was hard to look at. “A really vain fairytale prince and his magic mirror?” Brendan ventured a guess.
Hoshi sighed, and Gaeta’s head dropped into his hands. “I’m Starbuck, and he’s Cy the Cylon” Hoshi said, clearly frustrated.
Brendan contemplated the two once more, arms folded and head cocked. “Okay, I can see the Cylon Centurion thing. Though I gotta admit, it’s kinda weird that your fake leg looks way more high-tech than the rest of the killer robot suit. That’s not your fault, though. But Starbuck…yeah, you grew out your hair, but you’d need a stuffed bra to be Starbuck.”
Hoshi furrowed his brow and opened his mouth in protest, but Brendan continued before he had the chance. “And based on what I heard from Dee about her bachelorette party, isn’t Gaeta the one who’s more into cross-dressing anyway?” Everyone who hadn’t been there was still quite disappointed that Racetrack had only managed to get a sound recording of Gaeta’s rendition of “Sweet Transvestite” with her phone and not a video of the whole floor show.
Gaeta just stared at the ceiling and shook his head. “I am never doing tequila shots again.”
Hoshi jumped into the conversation again. “We’re not trying to be the real Starbuck and Cylon. We came as the 1970s and '80s TV version.”
“It’s supposed to be clever,” Gaeta added. “Ironic, you know, considering that we’re actually Colonial...” Gaeta looked at Hoshi and shrugged. “I give up. You’re right. This was a stupid costume idea.”
Hoshi said, “Told you we should’ve come as pirates.”
“I am not wearing a peg-leg. End of discussion.”
“But you had such a cute accent on Talk Like a Pirate Day!”
Brendan interrupted, “Wait, there’s a Talk Like a Pirate Day?”
Gaeta and Hoshi both brightened a little. “September 19th,” Hoshi said.
“You wouldn’t believe some of the holidays this planet has,” Gaeta added. “Every day is a celebration of something.”
“August 5th, International Beer Day,” said Hoshi.
“July 12th, Eat Your Jell-O Day,” said Gaeta.
“Mole Day, from 6:02 a.m. to 6:02 p.m. on October 23rd.” At Brendan’s confused look, Hoshi added, “Scientist joke. Just trust us on this one.”
“February’s my new favorite month, what with Working Naked Day, Read in the Bathtub Day, Madly in Love With Me Day, and National Condom Day.”
“February was a good month,” Hoshi said, smiling beatifically.
Gaeta continued, “The best part is, the more obscure the holiday, the simpler and more fully-explained the proper procedure for celebrating it. And I know this sounds cheesy, but I think Earthlings have got the right idea, recognizing that every day is a day worth celebrating.”
Hoshi smiled at Gaeta and took his hand. When it looked like they were about to get all gooey and romantic unless someone intervened, Brendan said, “Cool. So, now that you’re all festive again, you guys should really join the party. Dee’s even getting her karaoke machine going.”
And Racetrack had the tequila and a camera all ready to go in hopes of an encore performance of “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me,” but Gaeta and Hoshi didn’t need to know that. Yet.