Fic: Culture Shock, Chapter 9: Literature (Adama and Roslin)
Series Title: Culture Shock
Chapter Title: Literature (Adama and Roslin), 9/12
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Characters: Ensemble
Summary: Crack. Starbuck's magic Viper needle leads the Fleet to modern-day Earth. And the Colonials thought learning to live with the Cylons was hard...
Notes: Apologies for taking forever to post this! I've got one chapter as-yet unwritten, but hopefully that will be changing soon. Much thanks to trovia for the artwork! Special thanks to safenthecity for letting me steal her brilliant Cylon paternity episode of Maury for Chapters 2 and 12. (Original is here.)
Chapter 9: Literature (Adama and Roslin)
Back in a woodsy area not too far from Vancouver, Bill and Laura were having a perhaps less exciting afternoon than Gaius was, but no less enjoyable, nor any less free of intoxicating substances.
“I’m back with the stuff you sent me out for!” Bill called out when he entered their ‘cabin.’ Though the Colonials lacked the resources for pensions, Laura had very savvily negotiated retirement plans for all Colonial military and government personnel as part of the technology-for-asylum deal with the Earthlings. Considering how much revenue Colonial and Cylon jump drives were going to generate for the Earthlings, the four-bedroom, two-and-a-half bath lake home that the Earthlings had thrown in for the former Admiral and President to sweeten the pot was really the least they could do.
“Excellent. I’m on the sun porch,” Laura yelled back.
Bill made his way to the back of the house with his two paper sacks. His breath still pleasantly caught in his throat every time he saw Laura’s short red hair glint in the sunlight (cancer free, six months and counting!), but he flinched when he saw what was sitting on her lap.
She saw the flinch and rolled her eyes at it, like she always did. “Honestly, Bill. It’s just a laptop.”
“But it’s networked,” Bill said with a shiver.
Laura looked over her glasses at him. “Look. If the Ones, Fours, and Fives arrive and manage to break into and control the Earthlings’ Internet, this world is so interconnected that my little wireless router is not going to make a damned bit of difference.”
Bill shrugged in defeat. On a logical level, he knew Laura was right. Still. That didn’t stop him from having nightmares about the refrigerator gaining sentience and shooting him with its automatic ice cube maker. He really should’ve gone to Attempted Murder Mondays while in quarantine, too, but he’d been too busy with negotiations to partake in a lot of the counseling sessions.
“What are you up to?” he asked.
“Oh, I was wrapping up an e-mail to Lee, giving him advice on how to deal with a particularly troublesome U.N. delegate.”
“Airlock?” Bill said jokingly.
“Impractical on Earth,” Laura said, and Bill really couldn’t tell whether she was joking back or not. “I told him to sic Tory on her.”
Bill nodded. “Essentially the same result.”
“Also, I’ve been reading on Wikipedia about how Earth had a Pythia, too.” Laura adjusted her glasses and scrolled through an article on her computer screen. “It says the Earthlings suspect Pythia was high on fumes emanating from a crevasse near her temple, since in modern times the area makes goats act like they’re stoned. I wonder if ours was high when she prophesied, too. It would explain a lot.”
“Speaking of being high,” Bill said, holding up the two paper sacks.
Laura gasped in pleasure. “You got two?”
“No,” he said, pulling one bag back toward his body but handing the other to Laura. “This other one is a special surprise. That one is...exactly what the doctor ordered. Or used to be ordering before your prescription ran out.”
She opened the bag carefully and peeked inside. “Oh, it’s a beauty. It does look a lot like the ones on New Caprica, just like your...friend said. There’s space for it in our, uh...garden supply room, right?”
Bill didn’t know why they talked in code about their...horticulture at home with each other, but they’d been doing it for so long it felt unnatural not to use euphemisms. “I saved it some prime real estate right under one of the heat lamps.”
Laura smiled and handed the bag back to him. “What’s in the other bag, then?”
“Another treat,” Bill said, settling down on the couch beside her. “Since we finally made it through my book collection, I thought it was time we found some Earth books to add to the shelf.”
Laura shut her laptop and smiled, interested.
Bill continued, “I got this book because I thought it might help us understand Earth culture better. It’s-”
“The Kama Sutra?” Laura guessed before Bill could finish. Off his look of confusion, Laura added, “Sorry. Researching Earth mythology on Wikipedia led to some...interesting links.”
Bill wondered to himself if that was a subtle hint that he needed to spice things up in the bedroom and added both the Kama Sutra and The Joy of Sex to his mental shopping list. “No, I got Childhood’s End. I thought maybe if we read it, we might understand what that strange scientist who worked with Dr. Baltar was talking about with all the psychological duct tape crap.” Laura reached for the remaining bag, but Bill pulled it back from her fingertips. “But I need to warn you first. I made a...startling discovery at the bookstore today. You ready?” he asked seriously.
Laura nodded and watched. He fished in the bag and pulled the book out slowly. Laura gasped.
“Corners?” Laura stared in slack-jawed amazement. “Their books have corners?”
“I know,” Bill said, his expression only marginally more composed, and that was only because he’d already had his moment of shock at the bookstore. “All of them were like this, Laura. Every single book in the store. It’s...unnatural.”
Laura gingerly took the book from Bill’s hand and examined it, turning it over slowly. “Someone might even hurt themselves with these things,” she said, running her thumb over a pointy corner. “I suppose it does make some sense, from a manufacturing standpoint.” She paused for a moment. “Where do you suppose the corners on our books went?”
Bill shrugged. He’d never thought about that before. It was amazing, how life on Earth was making him think about things he never would’ve questioned on the Colonies. Very horizon-broadening.
“That sounds like the kind of question best contemplated with the help of our home-grown...herbs,” he said.
Laura hummed in agreement. “Why don’t you grab us a-oh, hell, we don’t have a euphemism for ‘blunt,’ so just grab one for us to share while we start in on this bizarre-looking book?”
Bill dropped a kiss on Laura’s temple. “Sounds like a perfect afternoon on Earth to me.”
Chapter Title: Literature (Adama and Roslin), 9/12
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Characters: Ensemble
Summary: Crack. Starbuck's magic Viper needle leads the Fleet to modern-day Earth. And the Colonials thought learning to live with the Cylons was hard...
Notes: Apologies for taking forever to post this! I've got one chapter as-yet unwritten, but hopefully that will be changing soon. Much thanks to trovia for the artwork! Special thanks to safenthecity for letting me steal her brilliant Cylon paternity episode of Maury for Chapters 2 and 12. (Original is here.)
Chapter 9: Literature (Adama and Roslin)
Back in a woodsy area not too far from Vancouver, Bill and Laura were having a perhaps less exciting afternoon than Gaius was, but no less enjoyable, nor any less free of intoxicating substances.
“I’m back with the stuff you sent me out for!” Bill called out when he entered their ‘cabin.’ Though the Colonials lacked the resources for pensions, Laura had very savvily negotiated retirement plans for all Colonial military and government personnel as part of the technology-for-asylum deal with the Earthlings. Considering how much revenue Colonial and Cylon jump drives were going to generate for the Earthlings, the four-bedroom, two-and-a-half bath lake home that the Earthlings had thrown in for the former Admiral and President to sweeten the pot was really the least they could do.
“Excellent. I’m on the sun porch,” Laura yelled back.
Bill made his way to the back of the house with his two paper sacks. His breath still pleasantly caught in his throat every time he saw Laura’s short red hair glint in the sunlight (cancer free, six months and counting!), but he flinched when he saw what was sitting on her lap.
She saw the flinch and rolled her eyes at it, like she always did. “Honestly, Bill. It’s just a laptop.”
“But it’s networked,” Bill said with a shiver.
Laura looked over her glasses at him. “Look. If the Ones, Fours, and Fives arrive and manage to break into and control the Earthlings’ Internet, this world is so interconnected that my little wireless router is not going to make a damned bit of difference.”
Bill shrugged in defeat. On a logical level, he knew Laura was right. Still. That didn’t stop him from having nightmares about the refrigerator gaining sentience and shooting him with its automatic ice cube maker. He really should’ve gone to Attempted Murder Mondays while in quarantine, too, but he’d been too busy with negotiations to partake in a lot of the counseling sessions.
“What are you up to?” he asked.
“Oh, I was wrapping up an e-mail to Lee, giving him advice on how to deal with a particularly troublesome U.N. delegate.”
“Airlock?” Bill said jokingly.
“Impractical on Earth,” Laura said, and Bill really couldn’t tell whether she was joking back or not. “I told him to sic Tory on her.”
Bill nodded. “Essentially the same result.”
“Also, I’ve been reading on Wikipedia about how Earth had a Pythia, too.” Laura adjusted her glasses and scrolled through an article on her computer screen. “It says the Earthlings suspect Pythia was high on fumes emanating from a crevasse near her temple, since in modern times the area makes goats act like they’re stoned. I wonder if ours was high when she prophesied, too. It would explain a lot.”
“Speaking of being high,” Bill said, holding up the two paper sacks.
Laura gasped in pleasure. “You got two?”
“No,” he said, pulling one bag back toward his body but handing the other to Laura. “This other one is a special surprise. That one is...exactly what the doctor ordered. Or used to be ordering before your prescription ran out.”
She opened the bag carefully and peeked inside. “Oh, it’s a beauty. It does look a lot like the ones on New Caprica, just like your...friend said. There’s space for it in our, uh...garden supply room, right?”
Bill didn’t know why they talked in code about their...horticulture at home with each other, but they’d been doing it for so long it felt unnatural not to use euphemisms. “I saved it some prime real estate right under one of the heat lamps.”
Laura smiled and handed the bag back to him. “What’s in the other bag, then?”
“Another treat,” Bill said, settling down on the couch beside her. “Since we finally made it through my book collection, I thought it was time we found some Earth books to add to the shelf.”
Laura shut her laptop and smiled, interested.
Bill continued, “I got this book because I thought it might help us understand Earth culture better. It’s-”
“The Kama Sutra?” Laura guessed before Bill could finish. Off his look of confusion, Laura added, “Sorry. Researching Earth mythology on Wikipedia led to some...interesting links.”
Bill wondered to himself if that was a subtle hint that he needed to spice things up in the bedroom and added both the Kama Sutra and The Joy of Sex to his mental shopping list. “No, I got Childhood’s End. I thought maybe if we read it, we might understand what that strange scientist who worked with Dr. Baltar was talking about with all the psychological duct tape crap.” Laura reached for the remaining bag, but Bill pulled it back from her fingertips. “But I need to warn you first. I made a...startling discovery at the bookstore today. You ready?” he asked seriously.
Laura nodded and watched. He fished in the bag and pulled the book out slowly. Laura gasped.
“Corners?” Laura stared in slack-jawed amazement. “Their books have corners?”
“I know,” Bill said, his expression only marginally more composed, and that was only because he’d already had his moment of shock at the bookstore. “All of them were like this, Laura. Every single book in the store. It’s...unnatural.”
Laura gingerly took the book from Bill’s hand and examined it, turning it over slowly. “Someone might even hurt themselves with these things,” she said, running her thumb over a pointy corner. “I suppose it does make some sense, from a manufacturing standpoint.” She paused for a moment. “Where do you suppose the corners on our books went?”
Bill shrugged. He’d never thought about that before. It was amazing, how life on Earth was making him think about things he never would’ve questioned on the Colonies. Very horizon-broadening.
“That sounds like the kind of question best contemplated with the help of our home-grown...herbs,” he said.
Laura hummed in agreement. “Why don’t you grab us a-oh, hell, we don’t have a euphemism for ‘blunt,’ so just grab one for us to share while we start in on this bizarre-looking book?”
Bill dropped a kiss on Laura’s temple. “Sounds like a perfect afternoon on Earth to me.”